Worthy of Love
by amber2011
Summary: THIS IS NOT A NEW STORY - HAD TO RE-UPLOAD. It's been six months since Sam, Mercedes, and Finn have been in a threesome relationship. Now they have to face all of their issues and it strengthens their bond. Sexual Content (explicit sex M/M/F); Strong Language (cursing); Sexual/Physical abuse; Race Issues (colorism, bigotry, slurs); Religion; Homophobia; Supernatural
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

**Summary:** It's been six months since they (Finn, Mercedes and Sam) have begun their threesome relationship, but now Finn's body insecurities are getting the best of him.

**Rating:** Mature - Strong Sexual Content. Strong Language (cursing, slang terms for genitalia)

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for your reviews! Please read and review.

* * *

**_Distorted Reflection_**

Finn stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He had broad shoulders, abs that were somewhat defined and weird nipples; he flexed his biceps and struck a body builder pose. Why couldn't he look more like Sam, he wondered. Mercedes always gushed about Sam's abs. It had been about six months since the three of them had begun a relationship together. Even though they all declared their love for each other, Finn was nervous about his position in the trio. Suddenly, Kurt appeared in the doorway.

"When you're finished admiring your perfect physique, come down and get breakfast, I've made quiche." Kurt's arms were folded and his blue silk robe hung delicately on his slender frame.

Finn made a face. Kurt was always making some French dish that he didn't like. And besides, he was trying to lose weight anyway.

"Thanks, bro, but I'll pass. I'm going to the track and then hitting the gym."

Kurt stared at him a moment.

"What's going on with you lately? You don't eat as much and you're working out like crazy."

"I gotta stay in shape," Finn responded, tightening the towel around his waist.

"Finn, you look good, and I'm not just saying that because I used to have a crush on you, or because you're now my step brother. You don't give yourself enough credit. Did Mercedes say something?"

Finn leaned against the bathroom sink and sighed.

"No, of course not. She's been great. It's just that Sam – look I gotta go."

Kurt put out his arm and blocked him from leaving the bathroom.

"Trouble in the ménage paradise?"

Finn was glad he told Kurt about his new relationship with Sam and Mercedes as crazy as it was. Kurt's reaction was at first shock then intense interest.

"No, not like that. Look Sam and Mercedes were together before I came into the mix. And Sam looks way better than I do, sure he's a dork, but a hot dork and he's got this weird macho thing... Anyway, I was never what chicks wanted until high school when I became quarterback. I was the tall freak that everybody called stupid. Sometimes I still feel like that freak, especially in this relationship."

Kurt pointed to the toilet.

"Sit," he said.

"Kurt, I really need to get to the track. I like getting there before all those old people come to power walk."

Kurt chuckled.

"This won't take long, but I want to say a few things to you."

Finn sat down and gave Kurt his full attention.

"Now, do you feel like they love you?"

"Yes, well, no, I don't know. They've told me they loved me, but I don't believe them."

"Why not?"

"Because why would they want me?"

"Finn, underneath your oafish exterior is a kind heart and that's what they see. That's what they love."

Finn hung his head, staring at the white tiles of the bathroom floor, after a few moments he looked up and said:

"How can you say that when I didn't always have your back and with the stuff that happened last year? How can you say I'm still kind?"

Kurt bent down so that he was eye level with Finn.

"I'm not saying you're perfect - far from it. But you've shown me that you changed. Singing that Bruno Mars song to me at our parents' wedding, making sure your mother takes her medication, helping out those sick kids at the hospital. You are kind - you just don't always show good judgment."

"Can I tell you something Kurt?"

"Sure, anything."

"I never felt like Rachel or Quinn loved me. I always felt like I was one step away from losing them and then Mercedes and Sam come along and I feel the same way – I don't know how to trust what they're saying. Sometimes I feel like some dumb jock that they will dump after awhile."

"For some reason, I believe that they love you. Mercedes is my best friend and she has nothing but awesome things to say about her relationship with you and Sam."

"I hear what you're saying dude, but I don't know," Finn said shrugging his broad shoulders.

"If it's bothering you this much, I think you should talk to them. Putting yourself on some ridiculous diet and workout regime is going to kill you, and Carol is worried about you."

This got Finn's attention immediately. His mother was his world. The last thing he wanted to do was worry her.

"Mom's worried? Why?"

"Finn, calm down. She's concerned that you're not eating. Quite frankly, so am I. What happened to the guy who inhaled 2 grand slams at Denny's?"

"That guy was a fat slob. I don't want to be that guy anymore."

Kurt reached out and patted his shoulder.

"You need therapy," he said simply.

"Thanks a lot, bro."

"You need something. You're in a relationship with two fantastic people who told you they loved you. And I know this is none of my business but I am going to ask anyway –"

Finn cut him off.

"No, Kurt, Sam and I don't have sex. But we do love each other if that makes sense and we love Mercedes and she loves us. All I can say is, we show affection toward each other but its different. I know it sounds confusing."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and pursed his perfect pink lips.

"So are you saying you are bi?"

"Oh, God, I'm not saying that at all. It's not like I'm checking out guys or anything. It's like all three of us give each other something that we can't find anywhere else, you know?"

"Believe me Finn, I'm trying to understand. This is even beyond my level of comprehension. Be that as it may, you need to talk to them about how you are feeling. The way you are handling this isn't good," Kurt replied as he walked out of the bathroom and then said over his shoulder, "I'll save you some quiche."

Finn laughed to himself and hurried off to his bedroom to put on his sweats. If he rushed, he could make it before the blue haired power walkers took over the track.

**_Dinner for Three_**

Mercedes stirred the pot on the stove; the rich aroma of seafood gumbo filled the kitchen. Her grandmother used to make this for all of the family reunions, and after she died, Mercedes' mother was able to snag the coveted recipe from her secret files. There was a little bit of everything in the gumbo but Mercedes had to improvise with the recipe to satisfy her boyfriends' strange eating habits. She used low sodium salt and opted for fresh tomatoes as opposed to canned. Usually these changes would be for Sam's benefit but now Finn was on a health kick too. When they went out to Breadsticks, Finn no longer ordered two entrees and then got a dessert. Now he would get salad with no dressing and drink lots of water, resulting in numerous trips to the bathroom. Mercedes shook her head as she put the lid back on the pot. The gumbo needed to simmer for a little longer. Tonight, they were both coming over for dinner because she wanted to discuss something important with them. As she ran up the stairs to her room, she thought of the last time they were together. It was at Sam's house, and they had just made love.

_Sam had gone to the bathroom and Finn turned to her and asked:_

"_Are you sure you guys want to be with me?"_

"_We love you, Finn, we always want to be with you."_

_Then Finn grew really quiet even as she pulled him into a hug. She stroked his back and held him tightly to her chest, pressing their hearts together._

"_We love you Finn," she repeated over and over again._

_When Sam returned, he looked at Mercedes wondering what was going on, a confused expression on his face._

_By this time, Finn was crying, not hard, but tears slowly slid down his cheeks and onto Mercedes' neck. Soon, Sam hugged him from behind and now both of them, were whispering that they loved him._

_Finn finally calmed down but things changed after that._

Mercedes snapped out of the memory and slipped on her black skinny jeans and a purple sweater. She missed Finn's cockiness – it was like his confidence had dwindled. As she sprayed on some perfume, she heard the doorbell ring. She rushed downstairs to answer it and found Sam standing there with a bouquet of roses. He looked so handsome in his khaki slacks and white shirt.

"Hey, baby, I got these for you," he said and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Come on in, you didn't have to bring flowers, but I'm glad you did."

"I did it because I wanted to. Is Finn here yet?" Sam asked as he followed her into the kitchen.

"No, he's running a little late," Mercedes responded as she opened the cabinet and pulled out a crystal vase to put the roses in.

Sam sat down at the kitchen table.

"Good, I want to talk to you about how he's been acting lately."

Mercedes joined him at the table and held his hands.

"That's why I'm having this dinner. So we can talk. I think he's feeling left out or something."

Sam nodded in agreement, "Yes, I know and I don't understand. He knows that we love him. We include him in everything. I never thought I would be in a relationship like this did you Cedes?"

Mercedes laughed.

"If someone were to tell me a year ago that I would be in some odd threesome relationship with two fine ass white boys, I would've told them they were a fool and kept walking."

"And if someone were to tell me that I would love a beautiful black woman and a giant quarterback, I think I would have told them the same thing," Sam responded, raising her hand to his lips and kissing it.

"I'm glad that you've accepted Finn. I know in the beginning it wasn't easy."

"You're right -it wasn't easy at first. I mean sharing you Cedes? But then by sharing you my heart got bigger, and Finn made our relationship even better. I also questioned my sexuality," Sam said softly as he gazed into Mercedes' eyes.

"We went over this, don't label it. What you and Finn feel for each other is a deep affection. Finn is kind and he lets you be kind."

"It doesn't bother you when we kiss?"

"Sam, of course it doesn't."

"Cedes, I can't wrap my head around this. Even though it's been six months. The first time he kissed me it freaked me out. Now I'm used to it. But what's so strange is that we don't want to have sex with each other only with you."

"I agree that's weird. But then nothing about this has been normal. Regardless, it feels right."

At that moment, the doorbell rang. It was Finn.

* * *

**_Confrontation_**

Finn praised the gumbo, though he barely ate any of it. Instead he drank lots of water and ate two helpings of salad with only a teaspoon of dressing. Sam and Mercedes exchanged looks as Finn ate, and he pretended not to notice.

"Dude, you sure you don't want anymore gumbo?" Sam asked, his tone slightly coaxing, "It's really good."

"I'm cool, thanks for having us over Mercedes," Finn said and took another gulp of ice water.

They fell into a silence and Finn felt awful. As much as he wanted to eat like a regular person, he couldn't. He wanted to look chiseled like Sam. Suddenly, Mercedes slammed her fist against the table.

"Ok, Finn, enough of this. Why don't you eat anymore? And why do you always want to be covered when we make love?"

Finn flinched at her words. He didn't want to discuss covering up.

"Cedes, calm down," Sam said, patting her hand.

"I can't calm down when somebody we love is acting like this. Are you that unhappy with yourself?" Mercedes had tears in her eyes, "Please Finn, talk to us."

Finn reached out and grabbed her hand. He hated seeing Mercedes so upset.

"Have you ever looked at Sam?"

"What?"

"Look at him, Mercedes. He's hot. He has all the qualities a woman would want. I'm not hot. I'm not smart. All I have going for me is that I can play football and sing a little. That's it. But you're beautiful and talented in so many ways, and Sam too. I don't have anything to offer you guys. I feel like I got nothing to bring to the table so I'm trying to make my body as good as possible."

Mercedes rose from the table and sat on Finn's lap, grabbing his face between her small brown hands she said:

"How superficial do you think we are? We're so much more than our bodies, sweetie. When those boys were chasing me on the playground calling me a nigger, you were the only one who defended me. When your mother had breast cancer, you bathed her, and took care of her. Finn, you were only 14. Everyday, you do something that amazes me. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm not skinny, I've got fat, and cellulite, and stretch marks – but neither one of you has ever made me feel less than beautiful." She then kissed him, her tongue probing his mouth and he returned the kiss with just as much passion.

Sam reached out and grabbed his hand.

"We love you Finn, don't think you have to become Mr. Olympus to be with us."

"That's easy for you to say because you're the guy that guys like me want to look like and Mercedes is always praising your body," Finn said.

"Finn, I'm sorry if I make over Sam's body. It's not meant to hurt you. And just for the record, I love your body. I feel protected in your arms; you're like this gentle giant. It's wonderful. Big girls like me need a man that can handle all this jelly, she said on a chuckle.

Finn kissed her cheek, "Sweetheart, you're not that big."

"Tell that to the fashion magazines," she replied.

"Well, I for one, like a woman I can hold onto, and not break, " Sam said as he rose from the table and put his arms around Mercedes and Finn.

Finn held Mercedes close to him, and said.

"I want us to make love. I need to feel you guys."

The three of them joined hands and went upstairs to her bedroom.

* * *

**_Worthy of Love_**

They carefully undressed Finn first, treating him like a delicate piece of glass that could break at the slightest touch, and Finn appreciated this because he felt fragile in that moment. Mercedes unbuttoned his pants while Sam pulled off his faded t-shirt. Then off came his boxers and he stood there before the two people he loved - naked and exposed. Mercedes and Sam quickly undressed and soon all three of them stood in the middle of the room nude, nobody said anything. Finn had lost some weight, but that was little consolation to him. He couldn't look into their eyes, until Mercedes raised his head and he saw the love in her gaze. She grabbed one hand and Sam grabbed the other.

"So, this is what you feel you need to change?" Mercedes asked as she stroked his chest.

Sam squeezed Finn's shoulder.

"Finn, you're awesome, I know you can't see it but you are. How many guys would stay up all night with me because my little sister was sick and I was scared? You were there. And you never make me feel stupid because of my dyslexia, you care about people," Sam said, his green eyes misty, "Stop doing this to yourself. I can see that you've lost weight but you're not doing it the right way." Then he hugged Finn close to his heart, it wasn't sensual or erotic, but loving. Sam wanted him to feel loved.

Mercedes pressed herself into his back, and said:

"Finn, we love you just like this. If you want to get healthier, that's fine, but starving yourself and exercising like crazy isn't good. Sam's right, you are awesome." They hugged each other tight, skin against skin, and Finn's heart didn't hurt as much. Was it possible he was worthy? The three of them walked over to the bed, hands still clasped. Sam and Mercedes gently pushed Finn back onto the bed and he no longer felt so exposed or ugly.

"Let us love you," she whispered. Sam held his hand and watched as Mercedes mounted Finn.

Finn's back arched up from the bed as he felt her wet heat slide onto his aching cock.

"Oh, Mercedes…" he breathed.

"You deserve to be loved. You're worthy of this," Sam whispered in his ear. Finn let the tears fall from his eyes and slide down his face. Sam gently wiped away his tears with his big hands.

"It's ok, Finn, we love you," Sam said.

Mercedes rode his cock slowly, staring into his eyes. He reached up and grabbed her magnificent breasts, squeezing them and rolling the large nipples between his fingers. She let her hands graze across his broad chest, caressing him gently. She licked and sucked his nipples, the ones Santana described as puffy pyramids. Finn loved the sensation of her tongue on his skin. Sam stroked his head in a reassuring manner as if to affirm that all this love was for him. Between Sam's kind words and Mercedes' touches, Finn felt himself coming apart. Mercedes' gyrations were becoming frantic, and usually at this time, Sam would be helping her reach her orgasm, but now he stayed planted beside Finn holding his hand. Finn figured it was because Sam knew that he needed him. And there was Mercedes with her big, beautiful body, becoming one with his; he pulled her down for a kiss, her plump lips were hot and sweet. Her pussy was so tight. Finn was on fire. Sam placed a gentle kiss on his sweaty forehead before grabbing onto to his cock and jerking himself off. Finn knew that Mercedes' sexy moans and groans would get to Sam eventually and he would need a release. His left hand fisted his cock and his right one gripped Finn's hand.

"Ride that cock, baby," Sam choked out in his dirty talk way.

Mercedes picked up speed, her mouth hanging open - she was almost there.

"Finn, sweetie, oh God, Finn…" her voice trailed off.

"I'm with you, I'm right here," Finn responded, enjoying the sight of her body jiggling and bouncing.

Then all of them exploded, Finn came harder than he ever had in his life, his orgasm consumed him, he felt everything, Mercedes' plush body collapsed on top of him and he felt her shaking. Sam reached out and stroked her back. His cum splattered onto the bedspread.

"Cedes?"

Finn knew that Sam was making sure she was ok; Mercedes' orgasms were usually so intense that they feared one day they would kill her. She grunted in response.

"Looks like our girl, is ok," Sam said and got up from the bed so he could hug her from behind. He kissed her smooth back.

"Our girl?" Finn asked.

Sam shrugged, "Yeah, our girl."

"You do know that's the first time you said our girl. It's usually your girl, or my woman," Finn said.

Sam continued stroking Mercedes' back; her body was slowly coming down from her high.

"I didn't realize that I did that. I guess I can be possessive."

Finn laughed, "You guess?"

"Ok, I am possessive, is this why you don't believe us when we say that we love you?"

"No, I have a lot of insecurities. But your failure to acknowledge that she is ours kind of gets to me a little," Finn admitted.

"I'm sorry, dude, I didn't know," Sam said.

"It's ok, after what you two did for me tonight, I'll never doubt either of you again. You're a real softie, Sam." Finn said.

Sam rolled his eyes and muttered, "Whatever, dude."

Finn was content, he loved the feel of Mercedes' body pressed so close to his and he enjoyed watching Sam, as he helped her calm down from her orgasm with his tender words and gentle strokes. That was the sweet side to Sam that Finn loved. Finally, Mercedes raised her head to meet his eyes. God, if she got more beautiful, he wasn't sure what he would do. He was surprised that she remembered that incident when they were elementary school, those boys were racist pricks, and Finn remembered chasing them away threatening to hurt them if they didn't leave Mercedes alone. He and Mercedes were not even friends at the time, so his actions were surprising. Even then he was taller than the other kids, so he knew his stature would scare them off. Though they would not reconnect until years later, he remembered there was something in her eyes that day… he couldn't explain it. But it sort of reminded him of fire.

"I love you, Mercedes Jones," he whispered, and captured her lips with his own, the kiss was slow, long, and deep. His entire heart was in that kiss.

"I love you too, Finn Hudson," she replied, and Finn saw that fire in her eyes.

Finn gently pushed her to his side and Sam got on the other side, wrapping his arms around her from behind while Finn held her from the front. The embrace that they held was a fierce one. Finn squeezed Sam's hand.

"Thank you for being there for me," he said.

"We love you and we will always be there for you," Sam said, "Now do you believe that you're worthy?"

"I do, and I love you both," Finn said as he snuggled closer to Mercedes, kissing her on the nose.

"Good, so can we now go back to insulting each other and competing in the bedroom to see who can give Cedes the most orgasms?" Sam asked.

"Sure thing, and I don't care what you say, I laid the mack down the last time we had the contest," Finn said.

"Screw you, Hudson, I so won that round. I gave our girl at least 10," Sam said as he nuzzled Mercedes' neck.

Mercedes laughed.

"Would you two fools calm down? And Finn, what do you know about 'laying the mack down'? Both of you satisfied me that night, ok? No complaints from the diva, here! Besides why do you guys compete so much?"

"We're guys, it's what we do," Finn explained.

Mercedes just rolled her eyes and giggled. She kissed Sam whispering an endearment in his ear and then she kissed Finn.

"You're amazing," she said, stroking his face.

For the first time in their relationship, Finn felt worthy, and it was wonderful.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**Summary: **Sam, Mercedes, and Finn experience an ugly incident at an outdoor concert.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Strong Sexual Content (anal sex), Strong Language, Mention of alcohol and drugs. Racial slurs. Homophobia. Please read this chapter with discretion.

* * *

**_Reflections on Hugs and Kisses_**

When Sam was thirteen years old, his mother stopped kissing him goodnight. At first Sam thought he had done something wrong, but she explained that he was growing up.

_"Sam, you're too old for that," she said as she ironed his father's shirt. The smell of spray starch stung his nose and the stripes on the shirt became blurry because he was trying not to cry. His mother noticed and her tone softened a little._

_"You have to grow up sometime. That's a part of life," she then quoted the bible, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."_

_"First Corinthians thirteen eleven," Sam said._

_His mother gave him a sad smile._

_"That's right, sweetie, see you do understand. Now go and wash up for dinner." She waved her hands as if to make him disappear._

_"I love you, Mom," he said, but she didn't respond, instead she continued ironing, her slender arms moving back and forth gracefully. He always thought his mother was pretty but now she seemed different - less angelic, more hardened. He wondered why she stopped singing when he played his guitar._

_That night he listened to Johnny Cash sing about long black veils and a boy name Sue, and cried into his pillow. The next week his parents sent him to an all-boys boarding school nestled in the Tennessee countryside, all childish things were behind him._

Sam craved touch. He missed the way his parents held his hands while crossing the street, or tickled his belly to wake him up in the morning. Then Mercedes came into his life and changed everything - she only wanted to love him. When life was unbearable, Mercedes was the one who healed him with her touch - she stroked his skin, while whispering his name and Sam felt loved. Then Finn entered the picture. When the threesome began, it was to please Mercedes, yet Finn added to the relationship in a wonderful way - he was kind. When his little sister Stacy was gravely ill, Mercedes was out of town with her family, and Finn came to the hospital. He wrapped his arms around Sam holding him close to his heart and let Sam cry when his parents wouldn't. So now he had two people who kissed him goodnight and hugged him when he needed it. It was amazing and Sam couldn't understand why people hated them together and why they had to hide.

* * *

**_Freaks, Whores, and Queers_**

Mercedes, Finn, and Sam were lying on a blanket at an outdoor concert in Lima Park, it was late evening, and the smell of weed wafted through the air; Sam had one arm around Mercedes and the other around Finn. Mercedes leaned into him and he inhaled the scent of her vanilla perfume; he kissed her neck and she smiled, her brown eyes shining. She wore a pretty green sundress that kept riding up her thighs each time she shifted on the blanket, much to Sam's delight. They got quite a few stares, but Sam was oblivious, he had a nice buzz from the beer Puck and Lauren gave them before leaving to make out in his car. The band was awful with the lead singer screaming a rendition of the 80s song Jessie's Girl. The three of them laughed about how bad they sounded, and whispered private jokes into each other's ears. To Sam, everything felt perfect. He was with the people he loved, it was summer, and his family finally managed to move out of the hotel and into a small house; life was awesome, and Stacy was getting better every day. He looked over at Finn and smiled. Finn gave him a lopsided grin and placed a hand over his heart, Sam did the same and so did Mercedes - that was how they said I love you without words. Then suddenly a strange man appeared and stared down at them. He looked about thirty years old and he had spiky black hair, his eyes were glazed over and he wore a Sex Pistols t-shirt; he pointed to Sam and said:

"So are you with the fat black chick or that big dumb dude?"

Mercedes' mouth fell open in shock. Sam jumped up and shoved the man in the chest.

"Don't you dare disrespect my girlfriend and boyfriend like that," he growled in the man's face.

Sam admittedly was a little drunk and probably had a contact high. But it was too late. The words were out there - _girlfriend and boyfriend._

"Look, I think you're hot," the man said, touching Sam's arm, "So, can I like get in on the action?"

"I think you should leave," Finn said, as he stood up. He towered over the man.

"Not until he apologizes," Sam hissed, "Nobody talks about the people I love like that."

The man looked at Finn and said, "I would love for you to suck my cock, even let fat mama watch." He then licked his lips and nodded toward Mercedes who sat there in disbelief, "Don't play innocent. You know you want to. Sitting there showing off your big ass and saggy tits to everybody here. Do you give lap dances to chubby chasers?"

Sam threw the first punch and Finn threw the second. There was chaos after that. People scurried away; some used their cell phones to record the fight. Finn and Sam pummeled the guy into the ground. Mercedes was screaming and trying to pull them off the man before they killed him.

"Fucking queers!" somebody shouted from the crowd.

Sam didn't know who said it. But it was out there like his proclamation that he in fact loved a girl and a boy. Queers. Next came freaks. Mercedes was reduced to whore. It got worse and Sam didn't know who he was fighting anymore. He felt like it was the world. The man lay beneath him bleeding and yelling, he writhed about in an effort to escape. Sam hated him; he never felt hate before, and it scared him. He heard Finn's voice, but it sounded faraway. Somebody touched his arm, and he shoved them away.

"Sam, please!" It was Mercedes.

Her face was streaming with tears; she looked so helpless and Sam felt his heartbreak. A black man stopped next her and said:

"You need to leave them white boys, alone, baby girl."

"Get away from her!" Sam shouted, his bloody fists waving in the air. The guy backed off, obviously afraid of Sam's wrath. Then they saw the flashing lights of a police car. Sam grabbed Mercedes' hand and the three of them took off running. She tripped and fell and Finn picked her up and carried her the rest of the way; he always said that she wasn't as heavy as she thought, and this proved it.

"Dude, what if they catch us?" Finn said.

"Just keep moving we have to get out of here," Sam shouted as they ran toward the parking lot. He had never been so happy to see Mercedes' red Honda, he quickly unlocked the doors and Finn put Mercedes in the back seat so she could lie down, she didn't look so good. Sam gave the keys to Finn.

"You should drive, I'm kind of buzzed."

Finn nodded. Sam got in the back seat with Mercedes and held her. She wouldn't look at him, instead she stared out the window, tears rolling down her cheeks, she had a cut on her leg and her dress was torn. One of her sandals was missing. They drove home in silence - they planned to stay the night in Mercedes' backyard. Her parents were away again, leaving her alone so they could save children in Kenya, never bothering to save their own daughter. The three of them loved camping in her backyard because it was huge and it felt like they were in the wilderness.

Once they were inside the house, they took Mercedes upstairs to the bathroom so they could tend to her wounds. Her cuts were minor but they fussed over her anyway. Mercedes barely spoke as they looked her over and dabbed alcohol on her cuts, kissing her cheeks. Finn had a bruised chin, and there was a cut on Sam's arm but other than that all of them were fine.

"Baby, please say something," Sam said peering into her face.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"We won't let anything happen to you," Finn said and hugged her.

After a few moments, she said: "We need a shower."

They showered together frequently and the ritual was always the same: Mercedes was in the middle and they washed her first before tending to themselves. Under the hot spray of the shower, Sam and Finn gently washed her entire body, kissing her flesh here and there, murmuring how much they loved her. Mercedes stood between them, and clung to Sam's shoulders, Finn wrapped his arms around her waist and they let the water run over them until it was freezing cold. The blood on their skin washed away down the drain, leaving behind a reddish residue on the white tiles. Sam remembered his mother saying that blood never washes away completely - that it always stays on your hands; he wondered if this was true and if that prick's blood would become a part of him. After they were done, they went outside dragging the family sized sleeping bag with them. The tent was already set up. Suddenly, Mercedes said:

"I want to sleep under the stars. I'm not going inside the tent."

Finn and Sam glanced at each other.

"We'll stay out here too," Sam said and Finn nodded, "Me too."

They unzipped the sleeping bag and got inside snuggling close to one another. Crickets chirped. A car door slammed. It sounded like a normal summer evening.

"I'm not a whore," Mercedes whispered into Sam's chest.

"I know, baby," he said, "You're the woman we love."

"I'm not a whore, I'm not a whore, I'm not a whore ..." she repeated over and over again, the tears spilled onto his bare chest. She clung to him and he held her as Finn soothed her from behind.

"Shhh, sweetheart, we're right here, it's ok," Finn said, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing himself into her back.

"Why is this wrong?" she asked, her voice small.

"It's not wrong, Cedes, you listen to me. What the three of us have is not wrong. I never thought I could love 2 people, let alone a guy and girl, but I do, and I couldn't be happier. Those other assholes, the ones who think they are God, those are the ones who are wrong," Sam said and then he kissed her gently.

"Sam is right," Finn said, "But maybe we need to tone it down a little when we're out in public."

"What?" Sam said.

"I hate to say this, but people don't like us together and they are going to make things difficult. Or they will be like that prick who thought we were sex freaks," Finn said as he stroked Mercedes' shoulder.

"I just want it to go away," Mercedes mumbled.

"Want what to go away," Sam asked.

"This feeling that I'm dirty and should be ashamed. I'm in love with 2 guys and I'm ok with that. But nobody else is."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. The ones who should be ashamed are the people judging us," Sam said, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"But we need to do something, or it's going to happen again," Finn said. He thought for a moment.

"I have an idea. Why don't we take turns? Like when we go out, Mercedes and I will be a couple and you will be the third wheel. And then the next time it will be your turn with her. The third wheel can't touch or kiss the couple."

"Finn, that really sucks," Sam said.

"Well do you have any better ideas?"

"Actually, I don't think it's bad, besides we can avoid shitty incidents like the one that happened tonight," Mercedes said.

Sam sighed.

"You guys know how much I love you both. It's gonna be really hard not to be able to touch both of you," he reached out and stroked the tops of their heads affectionately, loving the contrast of Mercedes soft, kinky, hair and Finn's straight hair, "It shouldn't be this way."

"It shouldn't be this way but it is and unfortunately, we have to deal with it," Mercedes said in that matter of fact way of hers.

They decided to try it out and see how it worked. Sam was less than enthusiastic, but he knew they had a point. He squeezed her breasts and his thumb grazed her nipple, he felt the large nub beneath the thin cotton nightgown; he then pulled Mercedes' face close to his and kissed her, loving the feel of her plump lips, she moaned and returned the kiss.

"You know what we're going to do?" he whispered.

"What?" she breathed.

"We're going to love everything bad out of you."

Together, he and Finn began to pull off her nightgown, but she stopped them.

"Wait, it's getting a little warm inside the bag, do you mind if we lay on top?"

"Not at all, sweetheart," Finn said and they climbed out of the sleeping bag. She let them take off her nightgown and then they removed their boxers. Sam could never tire of Mercedes' beauty. Standing there naked in the summer moonlight, she was beyond beautiful. How could anyone call her a whore? Or reduce her to something ugly? Where others saw fat, he only saw luscious curves - people were so blind. If they only knew how wonderful she was, how her heart was so giving and when she sang, he swore it put God's angels to shame. She humbled him every day. Then he gazed at Finn, he too was beautiful, his skin was pale in the light and his muscles strong. Sam was grateful that Finn realized how much he and Mercedes loved him and was no longer ashamed of his body. He could now look them in the eyes when they made love and he never asked to be covered with a sheet anymore either. People labeled Finn too, calling him dumb and this upset Sam, he wasn't dumb, he just saw the world differently. Sam felt so blessed to have Finn and Mercedes in his life. They were his everything and he wouldn't have it any other way.

The three of them stood there hugging and stroking one another. Mercedes kissed Sam, her tongue probed deeply into his hot mouth, he moaned and accepted her kiss with just as much passion, and then she kissed Finn as Sam stroked his wide back and gently cupped his firm buttocks. After they kissed, Sam pulled Finn toward him and kissed him too, holding him close.

"I love you both so much," Sam said, blinking back his tears.

"We love you too," they said.

Sam took one hand and Finn took the other and they gently pushed Mercedes back onto the sleeping bag. They licked and kissed every inch of her smooth brown skin.

"I love giving you a tongue bath," Sam said wickedly, "Your skin tastes so good."

"It's sweet and a little salty," Finn said as his tongue glided across her inner thighs, dangerously close to her pussy. Sam sucked on her nipples and tried to fit as much of her breasts into his large mouth as he could, in his opinion, his girl had the greatest set of tits in the universe. That's one thing Quinn and Santana lacked. He pulled back for a moment and studied them, they were wet and glistening with his saliva and there were tiny bite marks where he got carried away.

"I guess I went a little crazy," he whispered, "but I can't help myself when it comes to you."

Mercedes moaned, she was wet, but they avoided her pussy on purpose and turned her over so they could worship her gorgeous ass.

Finn especially loved Mercedes' ass, and he grabbed a cheek and smacked it, watching it jiggle before kissing and licking her flesh.

"You like how Finn's loving on your beautiful ass, baby?"

Mercedes could barely speak. Sam grabbed her other ass cheek and squeezed the flesh before giving it a long, slow lick.

"Oh, oh..." Mercedes breathed.

"You're so beautiful, sweetheart, and worthy, and wonderful," Finn said, "Don't ever let anyone tell you any different." His big hands still caressed her ass but now his large finger probed her hole.

"Is this ok?" Finn asked.

"Yes, I - I..." she gasped.

He gently massaged her asshole as Sam rubbed her back and then licked and kissed her smooth neck. Sam remembered that they had talked about her actually taking both of them on at the same time, but he wasn't sure if she was ready. As if reading his mind, Mercedes said in a shaky voice:

"I want you both. You and Finn at the same time."

Finn and Sam looked at each other. Then Sam spoke:

"Do you think you're ready?"

"Please," she choked out, "I need you both filling me. Especially tonight - I need you both loving me."

Sam was a little apprehensive. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her and he didn't know if her body was ready, so he said:

"Ok, we will try it, but if it hurts at all, we will stop, ok baby?"

She nodded and he kissed her between her shoulder blades. Finn went to get the lube out of his overnight bag, when he got back he looked at them and said:

"How do you guys want to..." he trailed off.

"It's up to Cedes," Sam said.

Since no one really wanted to make a decision as to who went where, Sam volunteered for her rear entry and Finn would have her pussy.

Mercedes climbed on top of Finn, and she reached down and kissed him.

"I love you, my gentle giant," she said. Finn grinned at her pet name for him and blushed. His big arms pulled her into a hug.

"I love you too, with all that I am," he said, holding her close.

Sam smiled at the exchange - the two of them were so adorable. He squirted some lube onto his cock and then he spread some on the rosette of her pretty asshole. He slowly worked his finger in, just testing her out.

"How does that feel baby?"

"It feels ok, Sammy," she breathed.

He then inserted another finger and wiggled it around. Mercedes moaned.

"I'm ready, let's at least try," she said, her breath caught in her throat.

Sam eased his throbbing member into her ass; she was very tight so it took some maneuvering.

"Oh, shit," Mercedes said.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, but it also feels good too, keep going."

Sam did as she asked and after a while he was finally seated in her ass. He kissed her shoulder.

"Doing ok?"

She nodded. "I feel so full, with you back there and Finn right here. I love having both of you inside me, let's start moving," she said.

"Eager, are we?" Sam said.

"Yes, very."

Finn chuckled and gripped her hips. Then they began to move awkwardly at first but then they got a rhythm going. Sam never felt anything as awesome as being inside Mercedes' big, beautiful ass, it bounced and shook with each thrust; he didn't know how long he could last. Finn moved frantically below, and Mercedes rode them together, her wide hips, shifting back and forth to the delicious rhythm they created. They were all moaning and gyrating, Mercedes threw her head back, biting her lip, appearing to savor each movement.

"Ah, ah..." she couldn't even speak.

"Baby, you look so hot right now. I know you like this. My dick buried in your ass and Finn's pounding that tight, hot pussy of yours. You are so beautiful and sexy, with your tits swinging and you ass bouncing off me as I'm pounding into to you. We're gonna make you come so hard, Cedes, Sam said as he thrust into her.

"Fuck, I can't seem to..." Mercedes bounced frantically, trying to reach orgasm, "I can't ..."

Sam reached around and gently pressed his finger on her clit. And that's what did it.

"Come for us Cedes!" Sam shouted.

Mercedes screamed so loud that it scared Sam; he silently prayed no one called the police. Finn yelled just as loud as he came and soon Sam followed suit. Their hot cum shooting inside her. She fell on top of Finn, her body as limp. Finn stroked her back.

"Sweetie, talk to us," Finn murmured.

"I'm fine, I just... that was beyond incredible," she whispered.

Sam kissed her shoulders and eased out of her, his cum leaking everywhere. He collapsed beside them, giving each of them a kiss.

"I've had some intense orgasms, but nothing like that," Sam said gazing up into the night sky.

They were silent for a while, letting their heated bodies cool off in the night air. Soon they all snuggled up together, their sweaty limbs tangled together.

"That was beautiful," Mercedes said, gripping each of their hands.

"Yes it was," Finn said, as he kissed her forehead; he then reached over and kissed Sam too.

Sam enjoyed the stillness and the feeling of being wrapped up with the two people he cherished.

"I bet you our hearts are beating on the same rhythm," Sam said.

Mercedes chuckled. "Sam, that's so corny."

"No, really, I think the three of us are so connected that our hearts are beating together."

Finn placed his hand over his heart and then reached out and placed his hand over Mercedes' heart. He waited a moment then smiled.

"I think Sam might be right," he then put his hand on Sam's heart, "It feels like the same beat."

Mercedes wasn't exactly convinced. "Well, it may or may not be true, but I like to think that it is."

"Yeah, me too," Sam said.

Nobody spoke for a while and then Finn said.

"Look at all the fireflies."

There were dozens of fireflies hovering about, their greenish yellow lights flickering in the darkness.

"They're so pretty," Mercedes said.

"Oh, look!" Sam gasped, pointing to the sky, "A shooting star!"

"Wow," Finn said, "Do we make a wish?"

"Ok, let's all close our eyes, hold hands, and make a wish," Mercedes said excitedly.

Sam felt like a little kid again, clasping her hand and making a wish. He didn't ask what they wished for since he thought it was best to keep it a secret.

"Do you guys think we should go inside?" Finn asked, "It might get cold."

"No, it feels too wonderful being wrapped up in you and Sam's arms," Mercedes said, kissing each of them on the cheek.

"Yeah, this is pretty awesome," Finn agreed as he snuggled up closer to Mercedes' warm body.

"I can't believe you carried me all the way to my car." Mercedes laughed.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You are not as big as you think you are. It was nothing," Finn assured her.

They fell into a comfortable silence and soon Finn and Mercedes were asleep, but Sam remained awake. He indulged in the fantasy of shooting stars and fireflies, those childhood whims that make you believe that anything is possible, because sometimes it was nice to think that maybe the world wasn't as bad as it seemed and just maybe if he loved enough, he could somehow make it through.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**Summary:** Sam, Mercedes, and Finn discuss the obstacles in their relationship and their insecurities.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Strong Sexual Content. Strong Language.

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for reading and reviewing this story! Please note that this story is very AU so I'm taking all sorts of liberties.

* * *

**_Good Morning Love_**

Mercedes was the first to wake up. The air smelled like honeysuckle and the sun was rising over the horizon. Pale arms and legs were wrapped around her, Finn's mouth was open and he drooled onto the sleeping bag. She touched the bruise on his chin and the night before came rushing back - running through the park, bloody hands, yelling... Sam stirred next to her and he mumbled: "Oel ngati kameie".

"Sam?" she whispered. His eyes were closed, and she realized he was talking in his sleep - only Sam would speak Navi while he slept, she laughed to herself. As much as she wanted to stay encased in their arms forever, they had to go inside because the last thing she needed was for someone to find them all lying nude in her backyard. She tried to break out of their embrace, but it proved difficult. Finn wrapped his arms around her tighter and Sam's hold on her was equally as fierce. Mercedes smiled to herself - they were even protecting her in their sleep. Nevertheless, they had to go in the house.

She gently stroked their faces, admiring how handsome they were. The early morning light cast a soft glow on their skin. She then kissed each of them on the cheek, and whispered:

"Wake up, time to go inside."

After a few minutes of this gentle prodding, Sam and Finn opened their eyes, and greeted her with kisses.

"Hey, baby," Sam cooed, "Sleep, ok?"

She nodded. "Did you?"

"Yeah," he then yawned and stretched his muscular arms. Finn kissed her shoulder.

"How are you feeling?"

"The way you two made love to me last night, a little sore, but other than that, ok"

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry, were we too rough?" Finn asked. His voice filled with concern.

"No, not at all. Don't be sorry. Making love like that was beyond wonderful. I needed it."

"We all did," Sam said.

"After what happened last night, it felt good to be with you two like that," Finn said.

They untangled themselves and slowly stood up. Mercedes legs felt stiff from sleeping on the ground all night. She was about to put on her nightgown, but Sam stopped her.

"Don't put that on yet."

"Why?"

"I want to look at you," he said.

Mercedes stood there under his intense gaze. And now Finn was staring at her too. No matter how many times Sam and Finn said she was beautiful, a tiny part of her doubted it. Her eyes drifted over their bodies, they were both strong and muscular. Sam had chiseled abs and Finn had a lovely broad chest. Both of them were perfect. Her mother's critical voice came to mind: _"Have you weighed yourself? Do you have to eat that?"_ But her mother wasn't there at the moment, and two beautiful guys that she proudly called her boyfriends, gazed at her like she was the most gorgeous girl in the world. Mercedes smiled and opened up her arms; she decided to let go of the image others had of her; she would let these boys love her anyway, let them admire her big thighs and love handles, let them give her everything and accept it without question. Sam sang to her softly as he wrapped his arms around her:

_Good morning, Good morning love, It's my favorite love song, I waited all night long…_

His full lips were slightly chapped from the night air, and his long, blonde hair tickled her nose. She accepted his kiss, moaning into his mouth. Her hands slid up and down his back, gliding along his smooth skin, feeling the muscles underneath, then she moved further down, and she gripped his firm ass. Sam gasped at her touch and the kiss went deeper, so deep that Mercedes drowned in it. His hold on her was tight. He broke the kiss for a moment.

"You're safe, Cedes," he said as she shook in his embrace, "You opened your arms to us and we got you." Then he pressed his lips against hers once again.

Suddenly she felt Finn's strong arms hugging her from behind, and she gently pulled herself away from Sam and kissed Finn, he was so gentle as his lips captured hers and he held her close to his heart, Finn swallowed her up with his size, so close he was – his hands were everywhere stroking, touching… and his lips burned against hers, when he slipped his tongue in her mouth, her heart skipped, and she almost lost her balance as he leaned into her, but Finn would never let her fall, of this she was certain. When she finally broke the kiss, his hazel eyes searched hers.

"Mercy?" he breathed.

"Yes?"

"We belong to you."

The three of them embraced and Sam and Finn exchanged a long kiss. Their lips crashed together, with Sam being the more aggressive of the two, and they still held onto Mercedes, even as they kissed. Mercedes loved watching them express their love for one another – it was simply beautiful.

They went inside to take a shower, and despite her soreness, Mercedes gave in to her arousal when their hard bodies pressed against hers underneath the shower spray. Mercedes clung to them and gasped:

"I want… I need…" her breath caught in her throat.

Sam grabbed her face, peering into her eyes.

"Baby, do you need us to love you?"

She nodded frantically then gave his cock a gentle tug. Sam moaned and they quickly got out of the shower, not even bothering to dry off. Finn scooped Mercedes up in his arms and they went straight to her bedroom, collapsing onto her king sized bed, their wet bodies twisting together on the crisp white sheets. After sharing long, heated kisses with each other, Sam spread her thick legs.

"I need you," he gasped as he slid into her, "Shit, baby, you feel so good on my cock."

She welcomed the pleasurable pain of Sam's urgent, deep thrusts. He gazed down at her, his green eyes lustful.

"Cedes, you know why I love your wide hips?" he grunted as he pumped into her.

She shook her head.

"Gives me something to hold onto, like I said before, I need a girl who won't break cause I love hard, and I've loved you the hardest, so take everything I got, cause it's yours, baby, he said as he pounded into her, then he added, "Your pussy is so hot, tight, and sweet. Damn, you're sexy girl, your skin is all wet and flushed, your tits are just-just…" his voice trailed off and he reached down and squeezed her breasts, sucking on her erect nipples, tugging them between his teeth. She loved the subtle pressure of his teeth, those tiny nips made her shiver.

Finn was beside her and she lovingly stroked his hard cock while he tugged on her damp, kinky Afro, his large fingers getting lost in the dense curls.

"I'm so glad you stopped wearing weaves," Finn said as Mercedes worked his cock with her small, soft hands. His breath was ragged.

"Why?"

"I could never grab your weave like this," he said as he sank his hands into her thick hair, "I love your real hair and I _love_ every kinky curl you have, never hide it again, okay?" he then gasped as her ministrations became more earnest, "Fuck, Mercy, keep doing it just like that, your soft hands feel so good on my hard dick." Mercedes obliged and kept stroking him; she loved jerking him off.

Then she felt Sam's hot breath as he whispered in her ear: "We've got your pussy and your heart, don't think you're going anywhere, Cedes, this is forever," he then pounded into her frantically, his hips moving at a furious pace, hitting her G-spot repeatedly.

Mercedes cried out, jerking Finn's big cock even harder as he came with her, his warm, thick cum landing on her chest. Sam kept thrusting his hips until he came inside her with a low, guttural moan. Finn reached down and kissed her passionately, his tongue exploring her mouth, she let him take the lead and he delved deeper inside, holding her close to him, after a while she had to pull away in order to breathe. Finn's kisses always had that effect on her.

Sam scooped up some of Finn's cum on his finger and fed it to Mercedes. She sucked his finger clean and grinned; then she took some cum and spread it on his hard pink nipples, leaning forward she licked and sucked Finn's cum off each nipple very slowly. Sam threw back his head and closed his eyes.

"Fuck!" he yelled.

Mercedes laughed. "Like that, baby?" She knew he had sensitive nipples and it was one of his erogenous zones.

Finn raised his eyebrows and smiled mischievously.

"So does my cum taste better on Sam or Mercy? Only one way to find out - ladies first, of course." He leaned down and sucked on her breasts, "Mmmm, it tastes quite good on my sweet Mercy, now for the gentleman." He spread some more of his cum on Sam's nipples, his fingers tweaking each one gently. Sam whimpered at his touch. Finn smirked and slowly licked it off, his hands grazed Sam's abs.

"Shit, Finn," Sam gasped.

"Not bad but I think it tastes better on the lady," he said, giving one last lick; he pulled Sam toward him and the two exchanged a searing kiss, leaving Sam breathless when they finally broke apart. Then, much to Mercedes' delight, both of them licked and sucked on her tits, cleaning them thoroughly, lifting her heavy mounds and licking the creases as well. Their tongues glided across her ample cleavage, taking long, slow licks. Mercedes lay there, moaning in pleasure - their hands were everywhere at once, squeezing, caressing, touching… Then she noticed that Finn was hard again. He looked at Mercedes, an unspoken question in his hazel eyes.

"Mercy?"

She nodded and spread her legs once more, allowing him to mount her. Mercedes winced a little as he entered her; Finn was a tad larger than Sam.

"Are you ok, do you want to stop?" Finn asked.

"No, sweetie, I want you inside of me," she said.

Then Finn began to move and the pleasure took over; she closed her eyes and her back arched off the bed.

"Keep your eyes open," Sam ordered, "watch how Finn is working your sweet pussy."

"Mercy, baby..." Finn groaned as he thrust his hips, his face was red and his mouth hung open, he often made these funny sounds while making love, little gasps and moans that Mercedes loved - for some reason it turned her on. Finn could still be insecure at times so Mercedes decided to encourage him as he pumped inside her.

"You feel so good, baby, keep loving me just like that," Mercedes said looking directly into his eyes; Finn's cock felt awesome inside her.

He grinned down at her, his eyes shined. Mercedes knew her words meant a lot to him by the proud expression he wore on his adorable face. He leaned down and kissed her lips.

"So sweet," he murmured as he moved within her, "you feel like heaven, Mercy."

Then with a few more thrusts of his hips, Mercedes came with a high-pitched cry, her orgasm rocking through her body. Finn collapsed on top of her, giving her a kiss and nuzzling her neck.

"I love you, Mercy," he whispered.

"I love you too."

Sam sat beside her, tweaking her nipples and stroking her skin.

"Oh, we're not done yet. Finn, spread our baby's legs nice and wide."

Finn obliged and then Sam joined him between her legs. Together they licked Mercedes' cum filled pussy, their tongues vying for position at the center of her core. Mercedes thought one tongue on her pussy was wonderful but two felt amazing, gliding across her slit, never letting up. Their heads bobbed together at the juncture of her thighs, their tongues worked in tandem repeatedly bringing her over the edge. Just as one orgasm hit another was just around the corner, her heart raced, her legs shook as she gripped the sheets. After a while, she lost count as to how many times she came.

"Right there, right there, don't stop...," she babbled.

"Let it out, Mercy, don't hold it in," Finn said, before gently sucking her clit.

Her voice grew hoarse from screaming so much. When they were done, they each gave her a long kiss, and she tasted herself mixed with Finn and Sam's cum and she liked the combination. When her breathing returned to normal, she lay back on the bed, her body humming.

"What did you two do to me? I've never…" Mercedes couldn't get the words out.

"Just loving you good like you deserve," Sam said, kissing her forehead. Mercedes gave a weak smile and reached for their hands, grasping them tightly.

"I love you both so much."

"We love you too, sweetheart," Finn said.

Sam grabbed a hold of her belly and squeezed the abundant flesh.

"I love this part of you," he said.

"Why?" Mercedes was accepting her body more, but she always hated her stomach, it wasn't flat or tight and she felt like she needed a girdle.

He shrugged. "It's soft and lush. I see our babies growing there. Yours, mine and Finn's."

"I always picture our babies nursing," Finn said and he grabbed her breast, massaging it gently.

Mercedes wasn't sure what to say at first. _Babies?_

"I'm surprised you guys are thinking so far ahead."

"We love you and want babies with you," Sam said as he continued to squeeze her belly, "I told you this is forever and I meant it."

Finn's hands roamed over her torso and he said, "Yesterday, Sam and I were talking and we want to raise a family with you."

"Guys, we're only seventeen right now. How can you possibly see that far ahead?"

Sam sat up and stared at her.

"Are you saying you don't want a future with us?"

Mercedes sighed and shook her head.

"No, I do want a future with you and Finn. But we need to face facts. What's going to happen after graduation? I doubt we'll end up at the same college. I'm just saying that we need to make a lot of plans before we go creating a future that may or may not happen."

"What if you were pregnant right now?" Sam asked.

"What? Sam, that's crazy. You know I'm on the pill."

"Accidents happen."

"Ok, let's say I am pregnant. That would not be good. We haven't even finished high school yet. How could we support a baby?"

"If it did happen, you have our word that we would find a way to take care of you," Sam said, kissing her shoulder, and as for plans, I've been making them."

Mercedes wanted to know these plans, but she had something else more pressing on her mind.

"I have to ask you both something, and don't get mad," Mercedes said looking down at her hands.

"Uh oh," Finn said.

"Cedes, we won't get mad, now what is it."

"What if the baby is Finn's and not yours? And vice versa? Will you both be a father to the child?"

Finn lifted her head and he looked into her eyes.

"That won't matter to me. If the baby was Sam's that would still be my kid and I know he feels the same way if I were the father."

"He's right," Sam said, stroking her head, "That doesn't matter to us."

"Well, that's good to know. But it's easy to say that now because none of this has happened and I'm only thinking hypothetically, she bit her lip and continued, "I do love you both. But there are things I want to accomplish. If we were to have a family I want to do it right with marriage."

Sam took one of her hands and Finn held the other.

"We want that too. I know it's against the law to have more than one spouse, but we'll figure out something."

Mercedes was quiet for a moment then said:

"Look, let's just concentrate on getting through our senior year, applying to colleges, and taking it one day at a time, ok? I want this too, but I have to be realistic. And besides, not everybody knows about our relationship, she turned to Sam, "Your parents know that you and I are dating, but do they know about Finn?"

Sam looked down.

"No, not yet. I don't know how they are going to take it."

"Dude, I thought you were going to tell them," Finn said.

"I was, but you gotta understand, my parents are well… I don't know, kinda weird."

Finn was angry.

"So, you're ashamed of me?"

"No, Finn, how can you say that? I'm proud that you're my boyfriend. It's just that I don't know how my parents will take it. Do your parents know about me and Mercedes?"

"Yeah, they know," Finn said, "Kurt thought it was best that I tell them so I did. They don't exactly like it and think it's crazy, but they know Mercedes and although they've only met you a few times they feel you're a good guy."

"My parents aren't like that," Sam said, "I know shit will hit the fan, but I will tell them when the time is right." He then leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Finn's lips. "I love you. I could never be ashamed of you, got it?"

Finn nodded and smiled. Then Mercedes said:

"I love you too, Finn. And just so you know, Sam's parents don't like me."

"That's not true."

Mercedes narrowed her eyes at him.

"They kept talking about Quinn like she was a freaking saint. Never mind that she got knocked up by Puck. Your father especially kept going on and on about her blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm the furthest thing from Quinn as you can get. I love how you praised and defended me in front of them, but I don't think they were listening," Mercedes said, trying to keep the pain out of her voice.

Sam put his arm around her.

"Baby, listen to me. My mom likes you; she's just not good at showing emotion. Stevie and Stacey adore you. Dad isn't always nice," Sam's tone changed and he got a far off look in his eyes. Mercedes touched his cheek.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Let's not talk about parents anymore. Mine are in Columbus so Stacey can see that specialist and Finn's are in the Grand Canyon, we should be making the most of this."

"You're right, Sam - enough about our parents, the future, and babies. Let's enjoy this time we have together," Mercedes said. She was grateful the subject of her parents didn't come up.

Finn and Sam rested their heads on Mercedes' chest, placing gentle kisses on her breasts as she absently ran her fingers through their hair, massaging the their scalps every so often. Sam began to sing softly:

_Don't ask me_

_What you know is true_

_Don't have to tell you_

_I love your precious heart_

He kissed Mercedes' heart, his plump lips felt soft and wet against her skin; he then continued singing:

_I was standing_

_You were there_

_Two worlds collided_

_And they could never tear us apart..._

Mercedes cried. Sam pressed another kiss to her heart, as she ran her fingers through his blonde hair. She looked at Finn and he grabbed her hand. Sam raised his head from her chest, studying her face, watching the tears fall. He reached out and wiped away the tears with his big, callused hands. Mercedes stared at him; his green eyes never left hers. Then the three of them embraced, whispering words of love to each other.

* * *

**_Sam Can Cook, Who Knew?_**

Later on that day after taking a nap and making love once more, they went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. Finn peered into the stainless steel refrigerator. "I'm starving," he said, and pulled out an apple, taking a huge bite.

"Cedes, we'll make you lunch," Sam announced, leaning against the granite countertop.

"We will?" Finn asked.

"Yes, we will," Sam said, he then turned to Mercedes, "Now what do you want to eat?"

"As long as it includes pancakes, I'm fine," she said, then added, "There's some Bisquick in the cupboard."

Sam looked as though he had been slapped. Mercedes laughed.

"What's wrong with Bisquick?"

"No real cook uses Bisquick," he said as he ushered her out of the kitchen, "Now go and relax and be prepared to be amazed."

"Sam, are you sure you know what you're doing? Mercedes said over her shoulder, "I've never seen you cook anything."

"I don't know what I'm doing," Finn said as he munched on his apple.

"I got skills, woman, trust me," Sam winked.

"Ok, but if you burn down the house, I'll kill you," Mercedes said and against her better judgment she went into the living room to watch TV.

* * *

**_You Don't Have to Fight Alone_**

Sam measured the flour and sugar while Finn got the pots and pans out of the cupboard. He wanted this lunch to be especially good for Mercedes because he loved watching her enjoy food – the lovely smile of contentment that spread across her face when tasting something good, made his heart leap. He missed this with Quinn and Santana. Quinn was always dieting and Santana was too busy being a bitch to enjoy anything, let alone a good meal.

"Could you hand me the vanilla extract? It's right there next to the spice rack above the sink," Sam said as he began dumping ingredients into a big mixing bowl.

Finn handed it to him and then got the eggs out of the refrigerator.

Sam noticed that Finn was awfully quiet.

"You, ok, dude?"

"Yeah, just thinking about last night," Finn said leaning against the counter.

"I know what you mean. I never knew hate before or even felt it, but now that I have I wished that I hadn't. I wanted to kill him."

"Me too."

"Just so you know, you and Cedes mean everything to me, and if anyone even thinks of calling you names or disrespecting you – my first instinct is to fight."

Finn gave him a small smile, "So I've noticed. "But I want you to remember that I can fight too."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I feel like you think you're the only one who's fighting for this relationship with us and that's not true. I've dealt with some shit too."

"Like what?"

"Do you remember when you, me, and Mercy had a picnic in the botanical gardens?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, that was the day we made love to her near the lily pond, because the area was deserted. God, all of us were really horny that day. What about it?"

"Well, when you guys dropped me off, both of you kissed me good-bye and –"

Sam interrupted. "And the three of us made out for like ten minutes in the car because we didn't want to let you go. I think that's when we knew we loved you."

"Really?"

"Yeah because that was a hard good-bye. We shared so much that day."

They stared at each other for a moment and Finn said,

"An old friend of Burt's saw us kissing in the car. He told Burt he saw me kissing a nigger bitch and a fag, and he thought I was a good kid, and now I was fucked up."

Sam clenched his fists trying to keep his temper under control.

"What else did that asshole say?"

"You don't want to know. He and Burt got into a fight, and I had to break it up. After he left, Burt asked me if being with you and Mercy was worth it because I needed to prepare myself."

"What did you say?"

Finn sighed and sat down at the kitchen table.

"I told him it was worth it. That I've never felt anything like this before."

Sam walked over to him and put his arms around him, kissing his cheek.

"Trust me, it's worth it. I love you and Cedes so much. I'm sorry if I've been acting like I'm the only one fighting. Besides, if you recall, we both took on that pervert last night."

Finn chuckled and held onto Sam's hands.

"Yeah, we beat the shit out of him. But it was so scary."

"I know babe, but he had it coming."

Finn looked at him. "You called me babe. You've never done that before."

Sam blushed and quickly dropped his arms from around Finn's shoulders.

"Sorry, it just slipped out."

"It's cool. We don't have pet names for each other like we do with Mercy."

"So, you don't mind?"

"Nope."

Sam sat down next to him at the table.

"There's something that's been bothering me too."

"What is it? Are you mad about what I did earlier in the bedroom?"

"Oh, you mean the nipple thing?" Sam asked.

Finn nodded, looking away from him. Sam grabbed his face and looked into his eyes.

"No, but it surprised me," he paused then said, "Do you want to have sex with me?"

"No. I just love making you feel good by touching and kissing you. I get off on seeing you make love to Mercedes. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, because that's how I feel. But Finn, what is this? I mean I know what it is - yet I don't know what it is. You would think that we wanted to well, you know…"

"Ok, here is how I see it. I've given up on trying to figure it out. It turns me on that I can make you moan. I'm in love with a gorgeous girl and boy and that's it. Look, if either of us ever wants more in the bedroom, we'll try it and see what happens; I'm not afraid to explore things."

"You make it sound so simple."

"Because it is simple. Trying to figure shit out makes my head hurt. I'm not the brightest guy in the world, but I have sense enough to know that this relationship with you and Mercy is a good thing."

Sam smiled at him. He would be willing to explore too, and when they were ready they would.

"That nipple thing was hot. I liked it. Cedes liked it too. You know how happy it makes her that we love each other too?"

Finn picked up his hand and kissed the palm.

"I know. That's why I love Mercedes so fucking much. She's so giving. She wants all of us to be loved and thankfully we are."

"We have to be the luckiest guys in the world to get such an amazing girl. You know our main job is to keep her happy, right?"

Finn agreed. "I know. If our baby isn't happy, then nobody is."

Sam grew quiet for a moment, just staring into Finn's hazel eyes. He saw a future for the three of them, living and loving together, a gang of kids running around a big house in the country. Cedes thought it was foolish thinking, but Sam knew that whatever happened that they would all end up together.

"Thinking about the future?" Finn asked.

"How did you know?"

"I know you Sam, better than you think."

Sam smiled and leaned over, kissing Finn on the lips.

"We're going to be together – all three of us. I don't know how but I swear it's gonna happen."

"I believe you," Finn said.

"Good, now let's get back to making lunch, Cedes must be starving now, and we haven't even heated up the griddle."

* * *

**_Thankful_**

The smells coming from the kitchen were heavenly, and Mercedes' mouth watered. Sam and Finn had been preparing lunch for over an hour and she was beyond starving.

"Are you sure you guys don't need any help?" Mercedes called out. Even though everything smelled delicious, it made her nervous to think about what they were doing in the kitchen; her parents left a spotless house and she wanted to keep it that way.

"Stay where you are, we got it covered," Sam yelled.

Mercedes sighed and turned her attention back to the television. Suddenly a pair of arms hugged her from behind, and judging by their size she knew it was Finn.

"Come on, sweetheart, everything is ready in the dining room," he said, taking her by the hand.

Her parents had given many dinner parties in that dining room, with its crystal chandelier and cream colored walls, but they never ate in there as a family. Sam grinned when he saw the two of them enter, and he took Mercedes by the hand and pulled out her chair. Everything looked beautiful. A white tablecloth embroidered with roses and edged with ivory lace was spread on the long, mahogany table. They used the white and gold china that her parents got for their twentieth wedding anniversary and it gleamed in the afternoon sunshine. A glass vase filled with violets and daisies sat in the middle of the table. And then there was the food: golden pancakes stacked on a silver platter, a steaming bowl of grits, a bowl of fresh fruit salad, a pitcher of orange juice, a plate of crispy bacon, a basket of hot biscuits, and a golden jar of honey. Then she saw a jar of thick brown liquid; she pointed to it and was about to ask what it was but Sam beat her to the punch.

"You were out of syrup so I had to improvise. I made a batch of brown sugar syrup. I hope you like it."

Mercedes laughed.

"Don't worry, I already love it because you made it. I can't believe you guys did all this!" she said and gave them each a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, you know Sam did the cooking, but I got the stuff out of the cupboards for him," Finn said sheepishly.

Mercedes giggled - Finn's track record in the kitchen wasn't good, and his specialty was grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Sam, how did you learn to cook like this?"

"My grandparents owned a restaurant back in Tennessee. I used to hang out in the kitchen with my grandmother, and she taught me to cook. I learned a lot.

"I never knew that. You've been holding out on me, baby?" Mercedes said as she gave him a peck on the cheek

Sam blushed. "Well, I wasn't exactly holding out. Your gourmet kitchen is awesome, by the way."

"Feel free to use it any time. Nobody uses it much."

"You cook sometimes," Sam said as he scooped up some grits and put them on his plate.

"Yeah, but that's only if you guys are coming over, other than that, it's frozen dinners."

"Hey Mercy, who is that girl?" Finn said pointing to the painting that hung on the opposite wall. It was of a regal young black girl sitting in a rose garden. She had café au lait skin, and wore a simple white dress, her hair hung down her back in long, wavy, curls, her gray eyes stared off into the distance at nothing. Though her expression was wistful, there was a slight hint of a smile on her red lips. Mercedes grew up with that portrait and the perfection of the girl – it haunted her.

"That's a painting of my mother when she was sixteen years old."

"Wow," Finn said, clearly impressed, "She was hot."

Mercedes only smiled. Nobody knew how much she wanted to burn that painting. So she changed the subject.

"Everything smells so good, let's eat," she said

After they were seated, Sam asked if they could say grace.

"It's just something we always did when I was growing up, and well..." he blushed, looking down.

"I think it's nice to say grace," Finn said, placing his napkin in his lap.

"Me too," Mercedes said.

So the three of them held hands, bowed their heads, and Sam blessed the food. It was such a simple prayer, but something about it touched her heart. When they said amen, Mercedes squeezed his hand.

"That was really lovely," she whispered.

Sam looked surprised.

"Really?"

"Yes, my family never says grace because we never eat together."

"Well I grew up on saying grace and going to church three times a week," Sam said before taking a sip of orange juice.

"My mom says grace when she remembers to," Finn said, as he helped himself to some pancakes.

"Let's start a tradition, if we ever have a meal together, we'll say grace," Mercedes said.

"Even in the school cafeteria?" Sam joked.

Mercedes smiled. "We'll play it by ear. You went to church three times a week? That's a bit excessive."

"Yeah, it was a southern Baptist church. There was bible study on Wednesday, youth group on Thursday then regular church on Sunday."

"That's a lot of Jesus," Mercedes said while buttering her biscuit.

Sam nodded, "Church was a big deal for my family. I sang in the choir and played guitar. I could quote scriptures and everything."

"How come you never said anything about this before?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. They didn't go to church as much after I was sent to boarding school. Then my Dad got transferred and we moved here and the church folks aren't as warm, but they did help out when my family was in crisis. But the black church here in Lima is really cool."

Mercedes dropped her fork.

"When did you go to St. Matthews?"

"Mr. Schue said that St. Matthews had an awesome choir so I decided to check them out. They were wonderful."

"My parents are members of St. Matthews but we rarely go. Did you feel uncomfortable?" Mercedes asked.

"No, not at all, I liked it."

"When I was in elementary school, my mom dated this black guy she met while working at the hospital, and we went to St. Matthews a few times," Finn said.

"Your mom dated a black guy?" Mercedes was shocked.

"Yeah," Finn shrugged, "What's the big deal?"

"Nothing it's just, I don't know. Lima can be racist that's all."

"True, but that didn't stop her. Just like what happened last night isn't going to stop me from loving you and Sam," Finn said and reached for their hands.

"But it will stop us from showing our love in public," Sam said bitterly, staring down at his plate, then he added:

"I know we agreed to do that third wheel thing, and I'm not going back on my word, but it just feels wrong."

"We almost got arrested," Finn said.

"I get that. I just – " he stopped speaking and grabbed Finn's and Mercedes' hands, placing them on his heart.

"I don't care about who stares at us, or what people say, or right and wrong or any other bullshit that comes our way. This thing we have is happening. Whether people like it or not, y'all are mine." A touch of his Tennessee drawl came out in his voice.

Mercedes knew when Sam spoke like that – he meant it. When that boy decided if something was right, he laid down the law, it was just his way. Sam loved hard. Period. And when he let you into his heart that was pretty much it. Mercedes felt blessed to have his heart, but right now he needed a dose of reality.

"Baby, I get what you are saying, but there are just three of us, we can't fight the world everyday. We need to think about the consequences."

"The consequences are allowing a bunch of assholes tell us that we're wrong and dirty. That Finn and I are fags and you're a whore. It's like admitting they are right. I hate that people can't see that the three of us simply love each other," he paused and then said, "I've got two awesome people that I love dearly, who stand by me, why is it so wrong that I want to hold your hands and kiss you both? Nobody owns the right to affection."

Finn tried to reason with him.

"Sam, I love you and Mercy more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. But I don't want a repeat of what happened last night. I never want to put our girl in danger like that."

"Are you saying that I do?" Sam snapped.

"Well you're so concerned about PDA that you don't realize who gets hurt! You saw how scared Mercy was, those people yelling, all of us running from the cops. Hell, think about how much worse it could have been if we got caught?"

"How could you say that I don't' care who gets hurt? I would do anything to keep you both from harm. I told you guys I would follow your plan and I will. I don't go back on my word. The reason I hate doing it is because I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" Mercedes asked.

"When the three of us are together alone and loving each other it's awesome. I feel secure in the relationship, but then when we change the rules and only two of us can touch – things get shaky. And a third wheel is just that – someone not needed."

"Baby, are you saying that you're afraid that eventually we will cut you out completely?" Mercedes asked gently.

"Yes, I know it's stupid but yes. You'll somehow realize that it's just better with the two of you. Why bother with me? The touching reassures me that the three of us are together."

"Samuel Ethan Evans how could you think we would do something like that? We love you too much for that to happen," Mercedes said.

Finn got up from the table and hugged him.

"Babe, we love you. You are a part of us. Don't think that way. We're not going anywhere."

Sam hugged him back and tears slipped down his cheeks. Mercedes never thought that Sam would feel insecure in the relationship. He was always so strong and his love was fierce.

"You're our everything." Mercedes whispered as she hugged him.

"I feel like I've been through hell this past year, with losing our home and Stacy in the hospital, it was chaos, if it wasn't for you two, I don't know how I would have made it," Sam said, kissing their hands, I admit that I'm afraid of losing you."

"It's going to be hard to lose us Sammy, because we're here to stay," Mercedes said stroking his damp cheek.

"She's right, so be prepared to be stuck with us," Finn said and kissed the top of his head.

Mercedes gave each of them a soft kiss on the lips and they all resumed eating; she poured the brown sugar syrup over her pancakes, took a bite and let out a moan, "Sam, this is fantastic!"

Sam blushed at her praise. "I'm glad you're enjoying the meal."

"I definitely am," she said as she took another bite.

The three of them were quiet as they enjoyed the wonderful meal. Mercedes didn't know the last time she ate food that tasted so awesome. Sam's cooking skills put hers to shame.

"You know what?" Sam said suddenly.

"What?" Mercedes asked.

"I'm just thankful for everything. Even the bad stuff, cause it lead me to the two of you."

Nobody said anything. They all clasped hands smiling at each other. This is what I've been looking for, what I've needed all this time, Mercedes thought to herself as she gazed at Sam and Finn. She just wished that nagging feeling of uncertainty would go away. Because that's how life was for Mercedes Jones, every good thing somehow turned bad.

* * *

**End Notes:** The songs used in the chapter are "Good Morning Love" by John Legend and "Never Tear Us Apart by INXS.

Please review - I love hearing what you think! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**Summary:** Santana and Brittany pay a visit; Mercedes reveals something unpleasant about her mother, and Sam's buried childhood trauma begins to surface.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Strong Language.

**Author's Note:** I can't thank you enough for all of the lovely reviews! As always, please read and review!

**_Unexpected Visit_**

After they finished lunch, they sat in the dining room, sipping on lattes that Sam had made. Finn's heart was glad; he loved the peaceful coziness of it all - just laughing and talking with the people he loved most. Sam did his impressions and then Mercedes asked if they had heard the new Beyonce song and sang a few verses. Finn and Sam had heard the song before but were pretending like they hadn't so she would keep singing.

Mercedes was persistent. "I know you guys know this song, it goes like this."

_Some of them men think they freak this like we do But no they don't Make your cheques come at they neck, Disrespect us no they won't…_

Sam and Finn shook their heads feigning ignorance. Mercedes wasn't catching on and kept repeating the verse, and finally Finn broke it to her:

"Baby, we know the song, we just like hearing you sing to us," Finn said, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

Mercedes laughed. "You guys don't have to trick me into singing. I feel like a fool since you knew that song all along."'

"We do have to trick you because you never sing to us," Finn said.

"That's not true."

"Actually it is," Sam said, "You have this awesome voice, but you only sing on stage with glee club, but not when we're alone."

Mercedes was quiet for a moment then she replied:

"You know I never thought of that. I guess you're right."

"The next time we make love I want you to sing something for us afterwards," Finn said, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Why after we make love?"

"Because I think it would be sexy as hell watching you sing naked," Finn said grinning.

"Ok, you pervert, after sex it is," she laughed and kissed him.

Even though he was full, Finn picked up another biscuit and took a bite, savoring its buttery, flaky goodness. Never in his life had he had a better meal. Sam's skills in the kitchen were amazing.

"Dude, you should open up a restaurant," Finn said, "Everything you made was awesome. Kurt is always bragging about how he can cook, but he only makes that French shit, I like regular food like this."

"I agree," Mercedes chimed in, "This is the best damn latte I ever had. What did you put in it? And how did you get your pancakes so fluffy?"

Sam smiled. "The latte has a shot of rum and I'll show you the recipe my grandmother used for pancakes."

"Oh, so you're trying to get me and Mercy drunk then take advantage of us?" Finn teased.

"I don't need rum for that," Sam replied, "I can take advantage of you both while you're sober."

Mercedes chuckled. "I'd like to see you try."

"Miss Jones, are you challenging me?" Sam asked.

She was about to respond when the doorbell rang.

Finn saw Mercedes' face tense up. She never liked to answer the door when her parents were away.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Finn asked.

"No, don't answer it," she responded, her eyes wary.

The ringing became insistent.

"Mercy, maybe we should. It might be somebody you know," Finn said his voice low.

She just stared at him.

"Do you want me and Sam to answer it?" Finn suggested.

The doorbell kept ringing. After a few moments, Mercedes nodded her head. Finn and Sam exchanged glances and went to the door. Finn looked through the peephole and saw that it was Santana and Brittany. He turned to Sam who was gently rubbing his back.

"It's Santana and Brittany," he said.

"What do you think they want?"

"Beats me. Only one way to find out," Finn said and he opened the door.

Santana stood on the front steps, gripping Brittany's hand while holding a brown leather sandal in the other. Both of them wore tight black shorts and red halter tops with Dirty Dan's written across the front in rhinestones. Finn thought you had to be 18 to work there and was about to ask them about it when Santana smirked at them and said:

"I came to return Cinderella's slipper." She handed the sandal to Finn and he instantly recognized it.

"This belongs to Mercedes she lost it last night when -"

Santana held up her hand to cut him off. "We know what happened. Can we come in?" She cocked her head to the side, her dark eyes daring him to refuse them entry. Finn called that her Lima Heights stare, it meant her question was really a demand and if you didn't do what she said bad things would happen.

Brittany was sucking on a lollipop; it made her mouth look extra red and pouty. She took it out for a moment and said:

"Oh, I smell pancakes!"

By then Mercedes had come to the door. Finn couldn't read her expression, so he didn't know if she was pissed or not.

"Hey guys, come on in," Mercedes said, her tone flat.

Santana tossed her long black hair over her shoulder and said, "Thanks Aretha, you really need to train your boy toys."

Finn rolled his eyes as they entered the house. He couldn't believe that he slept with Santana or was ever even remotely interested in her.

_"You know I'm the best you'll ever have," she said as she lay beneath him, her tanned, lithe body was perfect as were her newly purchased boobs._

_Finn couldn't speak; he thrust his hips awkwardly. Santana knew how to move and talk dirty, but he wasn't enjoying himself._

_"Look Finnoncence, if you can't focus on my hotness, you need to get out of my bed," she said and popped him on the forehead. "Now, fuck me, goddamn it!"_

_It was over before it began and Finn left her bedroom feeling like a jackass, but at least he wasn't a virgin anymore._

Sometimes he wished he could take it all back, but then he realized that the Santana experience made him appreciate Mercedes even more. When they got to the dining room, Brittany clapped her hands.

"I was right. You do have pancakes!"

"Go ahead and help yourself. You can heat them up in the microwave." Sam said.

"No, I like them cold," she said, "Where are your plates?"

"Come on, I'll show you where they are in the kitchen," Sam said and Brittany followed him out of the dining room.

Santana sat down.

"So, what's with the IHOP spread?"

"Sam made lunch for us," Finn said, "Why are you here?"

"You may not believe this, but I came by because I was concerned about Aretha," she then turned to Mercedes, "I know we're not exactly friends but I wanted to make sure you were ok. The people in this town are so ass backwards."

Mercedes got up from her chair and hugged Santana.

"We are friends Santana and thanks for bringing back my sandal."

Finn saw Santana's usual hard demeanor soften as she hugged Mercedes back. Then he knew why he loved Mercedes - she brought out the best in people, even bitches like Santana became human.

"How did you find her sandal? Were you there last night?" Finn asked as he sat down next to Mercedes.

"Nothing gets past you, does it Finnegan? Yes I was there but I didn't see what happened or anything. I heard a commotion and the cops came. My brother said he saw a giant white guy running and carrying a black chick and some blonde guy was with them. Ok, I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but that sounded like you guys. Anyway, after talking to some people we found out that a fight broke out because you three were being harassed. I just happened to find the sandal when Britt and I were walking back to the car. I knew it was hers because her name is stenciled in gold on the strap. Besides, who else is named Mercedes in Lima? Oh, and there was a video on YouTube of the fight, but I threatened Jacob Ben Israel and he took it down. You were really pounding that guy, what did he do?"

"We were on YouTube!" Finn shouted.

"Calm down, you couldn't see your faces, it was so dark. I just heard screaming. Everything was really blurry. Somebody was yelling out faggots and queers. It wasn't even 30 seconds long."

Finn wasn't convinced but he decided to remain calm for Mercedes' sake. Instead he said, "Does this mean that the whole school knows about our relationship?"

"I don't know," Santana said, "But be prepared when school starts. News travels fast around here."

"Thanks for getting Jacob to take down the video;" Mercedes said quietly, "I am worried about who knows. The only reason you know is because you figured it out. I don't know how Puck found out - I think Finn told him."

"I think your relationship is weird. But I don't like anybody getting shit for who they love," Santana said.

Sam and Brittany wandered back into the dining room. Brittany was holding a Mickey Mouse plate. Finn burst out laughing.

"Where did you get that?"

"I didn't want a white and gold plate. I wanted this one instead," Brittany said and put two pancakes on the plate, "Where's the syrup?"

"I haven't used that plate since I was ten; I'm surprised I still have it," Mercedes said, and then added, "The syrup is in that jar. Sam made it."

"Don't you have to be in Vermont to make syrup?" Brittany asked.

Mercedes laughed. "No, Britt, it's brown sugar syrup, you'll like it."

"Looks like Trouty got skills," Santana said.

"Ok, fill me on what you all were talking about," Sam said as he sat down next to Mercedes, kissing her cheek and then grabbing her hand. Santana glanced at their clasped hands and sighed.

"You guys are so freakin' sweet. It's really sickening you know."

"You're sweet too Tana, remember last night when we -"

"Uh, Brittany, I think we should keep that to ourselves," Santana said quickly, but Brittany was already distracted.

"This is so good, better than Aunt Jemima!" she said as she ate the pancakes.

Sam laughed and said, "I'm glad you like it Brittany," he turned to Finn, "So can you please tell me what's going on? I heard you yelling."

"Santana said that a video of the fight was on YouTube but it's not there anymore," Finn said, "And we think the whole school knows about our relationship."

"We're going to have an interesting senior year," Sam said flatly as he took a sip of his latte.

"Aren't you worried about Mercy? What about the football team? Karofsky? Azimio? Once they know about us, there's no telling what they will do." Finn said. He couldn't believe how calm Sam was.

Sam sighed.

"We've been slushied before. Anyway, I'm prepared to fight, and so are you. If those motherfuckers even try to hurt Cedes, my foot will be in their ass, got it? Babe, you know we got each other's back. We can do this."

"You're right," Finn said, remembering their conversation earlier about not fighting alone. "We're in this together."

"Shit, Sam, I didn't know you were so gangsta," Santana said, "You sure you're not from Lima Heights?"

"I thought he was from Tennessee," Brittany said as she dipped a piece of pancake into the pool of syrup on her plate. Santana patted her blonde head and didn't even try to explain.

"Finn, Sam, I don't want us getting worked up about something that hasn't happened yet. But all of us should be careful, alright?" Mercedes said as she grabbed both of their hands.

"Mercy, we'll be careful. But what worries me is that we won't be able to be with you all the time. Make sure your cell phone stays charged," Finn said.

"You probably shouldn't act like any of you are together when you're in school," Santana said and then she turned to Sam, "I know you're touchy feely Lady Lips, but you need to keep it in check."

Sam shot her a dirty look.

"I get it Santana."

Finn noticed the worried expression on Mercedes' face. He put his arm around her.

"If anybody looks at you weird or gives you any shit, no matter how small, promise that you will tell us, ok Mercy?"

She nodded and leaned into him.

"I promise."

"You know what?" Brittany said to no one in particular.

"What, sweetie?" Santana asked.

"I think Mercedes, Finn, and Sam are beautiful together. But if one of you leaves it will fall apart like a Cheerios pyramid."

"Nobody is leaving," Finn said.

"Good because I only like happy endings," Brittany said smiling, the sunlight reflected off of the rhinestones on her halter top which reminded Finn of what he wanted to ask them earlier.

"Hey, I thought you had to be eighteen to work at Dirty Dan's."

Santana leaned back in her chair and stretched her long arms.

"Yeah, you do, but I know somebody that knows somebody and me and Brittany are hot so there you go."

Finn admitted that they did look hot, but they couldn't hold a candle to Mercedes as far as he was concerned, no girl ever could.

"Are you two on your way to work?" Sam asked. Finn knew that Sam wanted them to leave; even though they had made love countless times that day, he could tell by the way Sam was eying Mercy that he was up for another round. It was the way he licked his lips every now and then when gazing at her that gave Finn a clue.

"Actually we just got off. We worked the afternoon shift. What are you guys doing now?"

Mercedes got up from the table and began to stack the dishes.

"Nothing, why?"

Sam's eyes widened and he looked at Finn as if to say - _What the hell?_ Finn shrugged his shoulders; there wasn't much he could do.

"Did you want to hang out?" Santana's tone was hopeful.

Finn never thought about Santana as someone he wanted to hang out with; she annoyed him to no living end and he knew that Sam barely tolerated her, but she was concerned about Mercy and she did get Jacob to take down that video. For the first time, Finn could see Santana as a possible friend.

"And do what?" Sam asked rolling his eyes.

Santana shrugged. "You can make us dinner. It's getting kinda late and I'm hungry."

"Are you serious?"

Mercedes quickly intervened.

"Uh, Sam, Finn, could you help me take these dishes into the kitchen?"

They didn't respond but gathered up the plates and glasses and silently followed her. Once they were inside the kitchen, Mercedes said to Sam in a low voice:

"I know she can be a bitch, but she did do some nice stuff for us. So I don't mind if they stay for dinner. I'll cook."

"You're right, she is a bitch." Sam said, his eyes cold.

"Sam –"

"Ok, I get it. I appreciate what she did and she obviously cares about you. I'll be nice. I will even cook dinner. She just rubs me the wrong way, and that's not the only reason I want them to leave," he then pulled Mercedes and Finn into a hug and kissed them both passionately.

"I want us to go upstairs, get naked, and make love."

Finn shivered as Sam gently cupped his ass. Suddenly he wanted the same thing. Mercedes broke away from the embrace, flushed and panting.

"I want that too, but we have guests. Santana doesn't reach out to many people. Besides, she understands us a little better than most because of her relationship with Brittany."

Finn remembered how Santana once told him that being nice was for losers and got you nowhere. He never understood what she meant; Finn was no saint but he tried to be a good person and help people. Then he realized that maybe nobody was ever nice to her; she never spoke of her parents, and the few times he was at her house it was always just her brother there and he was scary looking.

"You know the reason we love you can also be infuriating," Finn said, stroking her cheek, "You care about people so much. I was willing to kick them out to get my freak on."

Mercedes laughed. "Oh my God, I cannot believe you just said that! Get your freak on?"

"Sweetheart, I'm serious, you look so hot right now," Finn said, and she did. She wore black leggings and a fitted blue T-shirt that hugged her in the right places, her afro was fluffed out around her head, and she had a touch of lip gloss on her full lips. But he knew that Mercedes would refuse to give in to them and he loved her for it even though it meant that he would have to suffer.

"You guys are hot too, but I'm doing the right thing." She then opened the dishwasher and began loading it. Finn wondered if this is what it would be like when they were together in the future, doing dull stuff like loading the dishes or folding laundry. The three of them just fell into an easy rhythm and he liked it a lot.

"So what do you want me to make for dinner?" Sam asked as he handed her a plate.

"You decide. There's a ton of stuff in the freezer. Go take a look."

Sam went and opened the freezer while Finn and Mercedes continued the task of loading the dishes.

"Cedes, why do you have these?" He pulled out some Weight Watchers frozen dinners. Finn read the expression in Sam's green eyes; he knew this wasn't going to be good. Sam hated the word diet.

Mercedes looked over her shoulder as she closed the dishwasher and turned it on.

"My mom put me on Weight Watchers," she said, looking down at the floor.

"What?"

"Calm down, she's always putting me on some diet. That's just her way. I'm used to it. How about steaks for dinner?"

"Forget dinner. I want to know why she thinks her beautiful daughter should be eating some sodium filled crap to lose weight." Sam walked over and stood by the sink, glaring down at her. Finn wanted to know why too.

"Does she really do this all the time?" he asked gently.

"Guys, just stop it, my mother is difficult. I can't talk about it right now. Besides Brittany and Santana are probably wondering what happened to us."

"They can wait. You're more important. How long has this been going on?" Sam put his hand on her shoulder, his tone less threatening.

"Fine, since you must know. I've been on diets since I was eight years old, ok? You want to know about my weigh-ins, measurements, portions, exercises, and trips to fat camp and all the other shit I went through?" She turned away from him and Finn put his arms around her.

"Mercy, it's ok," he whispered and looked over at Sam. "Dude, let's talk about this later. I want answers too, but…"

Sam nodded. "I'm sorry, Cedes, I love you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But this shit is going in the trash," he said and dumped the frozen dinners in the stainless steel trash can beside the refrigerator.

Finn held onto her. His Mercy was gorgeous from her deep brown eyes, to her lovely white smile, an ass to die for and breasts that made him think naughty thoughts every second of the day. This girl was _perfect_. He couldn't imagine what it was like to be told from such a young age that she had to lose weight. That somehow she wasn't good enough. _Eight years old? Seriously? _He could relate to body issues because he had them too, but his mother was never the cause. She was the one person that always told him he was handsome, even when he towered over his classmates and had braces in fourth grade. Every day she told him he was special and was the cutest boy in the world. His mother was his biggest cheerleader, so what the hell was Mercy's mother doing? As these thoughts raced through his mind, he held onto her tighter, hoping his love could somehow replace all the doubts that had been planted inside her.

Sam joined in on the hug, kissing her cheek. They stayed locked in each other's arms until they heard Santana yell out:

"Somebody better be making me dinner in there or else I'll go all Lima Heights on your ass!"

They pulled apart laughing. Only Santana would be bold enough to demand dinner like that. Sam pulled out the steaks from the freezer.

"We got it covered baby, you go entertain our guests," he said winking at her. Finn gave her a kiss and squeezed her hand.

"You're beautiful, Mercy."

She looked up at him with tear filled eyes and Finn hoped that she believed him.

**_Thanks for Showing Me Love_**

Sam placed the big glass pitcher of homemade sweet tea on the table as Finn came in carrying the platter of grilled sirloin steaks with garlic butter.

"Where do you want this?"

Sam moved the steaming bowl of creamy mashed potatoes aside and said, "You can put it right there."

That was everything. In addition to the steaks and potatoes, he also made sautéed spinach, roasted corn on the cob, and Caesar salad with homemade dressing. He had to bake more biscuits because Finn ate all of the other ones. The rich aroma of the garlic butter steaks made his stomach growl.

"Finn, do you think this is enough?"

"Babe, it looks like Thanksgiving in here, yes, it's enough," he then gave him a peck on the cheek.

Sam grabbed Finn's big hand and kissed the palm. "Thank you for all of your help. I know cooking really isn't your thing."

Finn shrugged. "I don't mind helping you. Besides, you're so happy when you cook."

"Really?"

Finn nodded. "Yes, really. I think it's adorable. You smile a lot and sometimes you even laugh especially if it turns out the way you want it to."

Sam looked at him. Finn was so kind and caring; it was just the little mundane things he did that amazed Sam, like patiently peeling all of the potatoes, or putting a Band-Aid on Sam's finger when he cut it chopping the garlic. Those tiny little things, all added up to one big thing and it was beautiful. "I love you, Finn Hudson," he said kissing his lips.

"I love you too, Sam Evans."

"Well, let's pry the girls from the TV so we can eat."

But they didn't have to, because just at that moment, Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes strolled into the dining room.

"Damn, you made all this food!" Santana's eyes bulged out, "This is awesome!"

Sam walked over to Mercedes and pulled her into a hug.

"I hope you like it. I know how much you like garlic so I added it to the steaks."

"Sam, trust me, you could make me a baloney sandwich and I would think it was wonderful. I'm sure I'll love it."

Sam smiled and held onto his baby. This girl, woman, lover, friend, all rolled into one stole his heart completely, took his breath away, and made him thank God every day that she was born. He thought about her mother and diets and tried not to get angry.

After everyone was seated, Santana began to fill her plate but Sam stopped her.

"Wait, Santana, we always say grace before we eat."

Santana raised her eyebrows and Sam knew that she wanted to say something rude but thought the better of it and kept her mouth shut. So everyone held hands as Sam said the blessing. He relished the feeling of Cedes' and Finn's hands tightly gripping his own. Just let me have this forever, he thought to himself and I would be happy. When they said amen, Cedes beamed at him and kissed his cheek. He smiled.

"Everyone, dig in. I made a lot, so take as much as you want."

Sam watched Mercedes cut into her steak.

"This is perfect," she moaned as she took her first bite. Sam blushed at her reaction.

"The steak is wonderful. What's on it? Santana asked as she took another bite.

"Garlic butter," Sam replied.

"This is some majorly good shit," Santana said, her mouth full.

"I love the potatoes. They're nice and creamy not lumpy like my grandma's," Brittany commented.

"I love everything," Finn said and Sam couldn't help but laugh.

For dessert they had vanilla ice cream with Bailey's Irish Cream Sauce.

"Your parents have a serious stash of liquor," Sam said as they ate the decadent dessert.

"I know and it's weird since they rarely drink," Mercedes said as she took a bite of ice cream, "But I'm glad it's there because this sauce is awesome."

After they finished dinner, they all sat on the deck in the back yard. Finn lit citronella candles and the soft yellow light shined on their faces. Brittany found some sparklers beside the grill and they lit them. It was childish fun and soon they all ran around the yard clutching the sparklers and laughing for no apparent reason that Sam could see other than happiness or contentment or something that made you grateful you got up in the morning. Santana and Brittany shared a kiss as the sparklers danced around them. Then Sam pulled his girlfriend and boyfriend close and they kissed one another, slowly, taking their time, their tongues delving deep into each other's mouths, blissful, sweet kisses to wrap yourself in, and Sam held on tight, never letting go.

Much to Sam's surprise, Santana insisted on doing the dishes. He and Finn were exhausted so he didn't turn down her offer to help. She and Brittany bounced around the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and washing anything by hand that couldn't go in the dishwasher. Soap bubbles flew about in the air and Sam laughed as he watched them. Before they left, Santana surprised him again, by pulling him into a hug.

"Thanks, Sam."

"It was just dinner. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"No, not for dinner, though I thank you for that. Thanks for showing me love."

Sam didn't ask her what she meant because somehow he knew. After hugging the others good-bye, Santana and Brittany walked down the dark driveway, teetering slightly in their heels, their hands clasped together.

Finn and Mercedes hugged Sam from behind and Mercedes said:

"See Sam, it wasn't so bad, was it?"

Sam smiled and kissed her lips. "No baby, not bad at all."

They were so tired that they took a shower and fell into bed, too fatigued to make love, but they held each other close under the covers after sharing one last goodnight kiss.

**_Thunderstorms_**

That night when Mercedes woke up, she found that Sam was no longer beside her. A thunderstorm raged outside, and rain came pouring in from the open window. She cursed herself for not closing it before they went to sleep; the white lace curtains flapped in the wind, as the rain splashed her face. Her mother called them wedding veil curtains and she believed that using them would somehow bring her a husband. _"I know it's a silly family superstition, but you never know. And besides a husband will be hard to find for you, so you need all the help you can get" _Mercedes shuddered at the memory and had the sudden urge to tear down the curtains. Finn slept soundly beside her. Mercedes figured that a freight train could come barreling through the room and Finn would probably still be asleep - nothing woke that boy up. She crept out of bed and eased herself from the death grip hold Finn had on her waist and slipped on her robe. She quickly shut the window and checked the bathroom, but he wasn't there. She decided to go to the kitchen because Sam liked to drink warm milk when he couldn't sleep, but the kitchen was empty too. Mercedes began to feel sick; her stomach tightened. Something was wrong. She raced to the living room and found no one there. The sickness spread through her body, and she couldn't breathe. _Where was he?_ Then she heard crying - it was coming from the library. She never liked the library because everything in it smelled old. She rushed down the hall and found Sam crouched on the floor in a ball, his arms wrapped around himself, rocking back and forth.

"Sam?"

He didn't look up - he only kept rocking to and fro, whispering and crying.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Just then a loud crash of thunder rumbled outside and a flash of lightning lit up the dark library. Sam shook violently and he cried out:

"Oh, God, make it stop, just make it stop."

Mercedes put her arms around him, holding him close.

"Sam, I'm here, just hold onto to me, ok?" she whispered.

"Make them open the door, why won't they open the door?"

"Sam, Sam, look at me, baby, please..."

She grabbed his head and forced him to look up at her, his piercing green eyes held a glimmer of recognition.

"Cedes, oh God, Cedes, I can't stop it, why won't it stop?"

Relieved that he at least knew who she was, she hugged him.

"What do you want to stop?" Mercedes asked, keeping her voice low.

"The storm. I feel it in my chest. They wouldn't let me inside. They made me stay outside all alone," he cried.

She stroked his head and rocked with him on the floor. The next wave of thunder was worse than before and he clung to her waist sobbing. Mercedes wanted to cry with him, but she had to get him to focus on something else.

"Remember when we walked on the nature trail?' she asked.

"I think so," he choked out, crying into her chest.

"It was the nature trail in Kingsbury Park, and we saw a waterfall and you said that loving me and Finn made you strong, then you kissed us and we held each other," Mercedes said as she rocked with him, his body was calming down and he shook less, so she kept talking:

"Remember how every time we saw a deer, Finn called it Bambi? And when we got to the end of the trail, we had this awesome view of the country side and we made love. I never felt so much love before in my life. You brought us that love."

"Cedes..." he whispered.

"You gave us your heart. I fell in love with you all over again that day." The rocking stopped and he just clung to her. Then Mercedes sang softly:

_How long have I been in this storm?_

_So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form_

_Water's getting harder to tread_

_With these waves crashing over my head_

Finn appeared in the doorway of the library, obviously confused by what he saw before him. Mercedes looked up and beckoned him over, motioning for him to hold onto Sam. Then as she sang the next verse, Finn joined in.

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be all right_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

Mercedes was surprised that he knew the song, but was grateful, and together they sang the chorus as the storm still raged outside. Sam's shaking started up again when another crash of thunder shook the house, but their singing soothed him.

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I will get lost into your eyes_

_I know everything will be alright_

_I know everything is alright_

Sam's breathing slowed down, and his body became still, the tears continued to flow, but he was calmer. Finn and Mercedes' voices became stronger than the storm.

_I know you didn't bring me out here to drown_

_So why am I ten feet under and upside down_

_Barely surviving has become my purpose_

_Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface_

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be all right_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I will get lost into your eyes_

_And I know everything will be alright_

When they finished the song, Sam was limp in their arms, his sobbing finally stopped. They rubbed his back and whispered that they loved him. He raised his head and looked at them, his face wet with tears, his eyes wide and vacant.

"Thank you," he whispered and hugged them close to his heart. They gently coaxed him off of the floor and with their arms wrapped around each other; they made their way upstairs and crawled back into bed. Mercedes and Finn had to soothe him through the night, because sometimes Sam woke up crying. When the early morning sunlight crept through her bedroom window, Mercedes was stroking Sam's golden head, grateful that he was finally asleep again. Her heart broke for him. Finn placed a gentle kiss to his forehead and rubbed his back.

"What do you think happened to him?" Finn whispered.

"I don't know. I wish I knew. It must have been really bad," Mercedes said.

Finn nodded and said, "Let's go downstairs, I don't want to wake him up."

"Do you think it is safe to leave him alone?"

"We'll leave the door open, so we can hear him if he cries," Finn said as he covered Sam with the comforter.

When they got to the kitchen, Finn made them some coffee. It was 6:30 in the morning. They sat at the kitchen table holding hands and trying to piece together what could have happened to Sam.

"I didn't know that Sam was abused," Mercedes said as she sipped her coffee, "I knew his parents could be strict, but I never thought -"

Finn interrupted her.

"Maybe it wasn't his parents - maybe something happened at that school."

"That's true. Finn, what are we going to do? How can we help him?" Mercedes began to cry. Finn reached out and wiped the tears away, and kissed her cheek.

"Mercy, I don't know. My mom says that people talk to a therapist if they have something bad happen to them."

"Do you think Sam will talk to one?"

"Probably not. You know how Sam is. He puts on such a strong front all of the time and he likes dealing with things on his own, only you and I know how much he hurts inside."

"I know. I hate seeing him hurting like this."

"Me too."

"Well, whatever this is, we're in it together."

They sat there in silence gazing out the window into the back yard. Mercedes watched the hummingbirds dart about in the morning sunshine. She remembered how she and her father liked to watch birds when she was a little girl. She often wondered what happened to the man who sang her lullabies and whispered secrets in her ears - her father changed. Not wanting to dwell on him, Mercedes turned to Finn and said:

"Finn, you never wake up at night, what made you get up last night?"

"I don't know. It was weird. I just woke up suddenly and felt something was wrong. So I went looking for you and Sam. I was freaked out to see him like that - scared the shit out of me."

"I know what you mean, at first, I wasn't even sure if he even knew who I was."

"Really?"

She nodded, "Yes, it was awful. It was like I had to look into his eyes and find Sam again."

"Jesus, Mercy... I'm glad you knew what to do. I don't know if I would have."

"You love Sam as much as I do; your instincts would have kicked in, like mine did."

Finn shrugged, "Maybe, I'm just glad you were there."

"How did you know that song?" Mercedes asked.

"Oh, sometimes I go with Mr. Schue when he sings to cancer patients in the hospital. It's usually little kids, but we also sing to older kids too. Anyway, there is this thirteen year old girl there named Abby. She has bone cancer and that is her favorite song. We always sing it for her."

Mercedes stared at Finn. His hair was rumpled, there was an imprint on his cheek where the wrinkled sheet pressed into it, his eyes were bleary, and he had early morning stubble, but he never looked more beautiful to her. She leaned over and kissed him. Finn smiled.

"What was that for?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**_Thunderstorms Part 2_**

Sam woke up to find the bed empty and for a moment he was scared but then he heard Mercedes and Finn downstairs talking and he felt better. The digital clock on her nightstand said 12:30 pm. He felt like a fool, bawling like a baby through the night, probably scaring them half to death. How could he have done that? Sam felt tears come to his eyes and blinked them away. Finn and Mercedes had stood by him. They held him and loved him and somehow made everything alright. Their singing was the most glorious sound he ever heard. Finn's voice was much better than he gave himself credit for. Sam knew he was blessed, but still he felt awful for putting them through that. He pushed away the covers and went to the bathroom, after washing up, he went downstairs and found them cuddling on the couch watching Avatar.

"Hey guys," he said softly.

They turned around and gave him the brightest smiles in the world. Sam's heart flipped as he looked into their eyes.

"Baby, you're awake," Mercedes said, her voice cracking a bit and Sam could tell she was trying not to cry; she got up from the couch and went to him, giving him a big hug.

Finn rose from the couch and kissed him on the cheek.

"How are you feeling?

"Much better," he said and returned the kiss.

"Cedes, if you hug me any harder, I'll break," Sam joked. She loosened her grip and gazed up at him with those lovely brown eyes, "I'm sorry I got carried away."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Sam said, kissing her lips, he then reached out for Finn's hand, gripping it tightly in his own.

"What you two did for me last night was amazing. I can't thank you enough."

"You don't have to thank us for that," Finn said as they all sat down on the couch hugging each other close.

Sam sighed as Mercedes rested her head on his shoulder.

"I've had some really bad stuff happen to me," he paused and took a deep breath, "It's still hard for me to talk about it. I'm not sure if I can."

"You don't have to tell us anything until you are ready," Mercedes said, "Just know that we love you Sam and only want to help you."

"I have to be the luckiest guy in the world," Sam said and kissed Mercedes, he then reached over and kissed Finn too, "I love you two with all my heart. You saved my life."

"We're always going to be there for each other," Mercedes declared, squeezing his hand.

"What I hate the most about this is that you saw me looking so weak," Sam admitted quietly.

"Sam you're the strongest person I know. You need to realize that it's ok to ask for help. We aren't judging you and we certainly don't think you are weak," Mercedes said.

Sam didn't know what to say so he just kissed her instead.

"You know you guys sounded awesome singing together. I love that song. I'm surprised you knew it."

"I do listen to more than R&B, white boy," Mercedes teased.

Sam laughed, "You know what I mean. I just think it's wonderful that you chose that song to sing."

"I'm thankful it helped. Now, what are we going to do today? Do you guys feel like going out?" Mercedes asked.

Sam didn't feel like going out. Instead he wanted to spend that day wrapped up in their arms, loving them freely without the prying eyes of judgmental people.

"I would rather stay in and watch movies all day."

"Sounds good to me," Finn said.

Mercedes smiled. "Me too."

Though he enjoyed being close to Finn and Mercedes, Sam's heart felt heavy. Those awful things he kept hidden were now rising to the surface and he had no way to control it. The storm unlocked something ugly. He decided maybe it was time he started letting people in.

**_Hold On_**

That night there was another thunderstorm, but instead of wandering off, Sam stayed in bed with Finn and Mercedes, he still cried but not as much and his body shook at the sound of the thunder, he did his best to control it on his own, curling up in fetal position, trying to hold himself still, but they reached out to him.

"Baby, we're here," Mercedes soothed, "You're not alone."

They embraced him - Finn's giant, muscular arms and Mercedes' smaller softer ones hugged him close as they whispered memories in his ears, snapshots of all the wonderful moments the three shared: screaming together on a rollercoaster, getting drunk at Blaine's birthday party, kissing under the stars in the backyard, and each memory chased the bad ones away, and he felt safe snuggled between them as he drifted off to sleep.

End Notes: The songs used in this chapter are: Storm by Lifehouse and Girls (Who Rule the World) by Beyonce


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**Summary:** Sam reveals his childhood trauma; Finn is grateful to his mother.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Descriptions of child abuse (physical and sexual), violence. Strong language

**Author's Note:** This is a very dark chapter. Please use discretion. Thank you all for you reviews! I love getting them!

* * *

**_Honor Thy Father_**

It was six o'clock in the morning and Sam couldn't sleep. He was nestled between Finn and Mercedes, their arms wrapped around him in a protective embrace. Once again, they had to soothe him through the night, hold him as he cried. He tried to keep it in, but the harder he tried, the worse it all became. Then he heard their words and felt their loving touch and it took away the pain. But he was ashamed because he was so weak. This was something Sam wanted to deal with on his own. He wondered why Mercedes thought he was so strong.

He sighed and looked around the room, his eyes focusing on a picture of Mercedes and her father. She sat on his lap and wore a frilly red dress, a tiara was on her head, and when he asked her about it; she said that she had won the Little Miss Straight Sheen Contest. Sam had no idea what Straight Sheen was and she explained that it was a hair straightening product for little black girls. Mercedes was so pretty in that photo; though Sam wasn't too crazy about her straightened hair because in his opinion it just didn't suit her face. He prayed that if they had daughters that they would look just like her: dark brown skin, lovely white smiles and kinky hair. He always thought biracial children were adorable. Sam was certain that he, Finn, and Mercedes would have awesome kids. But that was the future and this was now, and he had to face everything he thought he left behind or buried.

Mercedes stirred next to him; he loved the feel of her full figured body pressed against his own. Her bare breasts were smashed against his chest, and it felt wonderful. Since he and Finn had been staying at her house, they fell into the habit of sleeping nude. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world - skin against skin. Finn's arms held him tight, his broad chest pressed against his back and his cock grazed Sam's ass; having their naked bodies so close aroused Sam, but there was something he wanted to do first.

He gently shook Mercedes.

"Cedes, baby wake up," he whispered.

Her eyes slowly opened and she greeted him with a sleepy smile.

"Morning, sweetie, feeling ok?"

Before he said anything else, he captured her plump lips in a kiss, and she welcomed his lips on hers. When they finally broke away from each other, both of them had to catch their breath. Then suddenly his mind flashed to the previous night and his constant crying jags.

"Baby, I'm sor-"

She put her hand over his mouth.

"Don't even think of saying sorry. We'll get through this."

"I want you and Finn to take a walk with me."

"Right now?"

"Yes," he said as he pulled the sheet further down and traced her wide hip, letting his finger graze along her stretch marks. Mercedes hated them but for some odd reason, Sam liked them, though he couldn't explain why, perhaps it was because it meant that she was real. He lifted her chin and kissed her again, savoring the taste of her mouth, before gently pulling away. Then he felt Finn kiss his shoulder and he turned around and kissed him on the lips.

"Good morning, babe," Sam murmured.

"How are you?" Finn asked as he stroked his cheek.

"I want you two to take a walk with me right now," Sam said.

Finn looked confused.

"A walk? What time is it?"

"It's 6:15," Mercedes said through a yawn.

Finn reached over and kissed her good morning. He then turned to Sam.

"Sure, I'll go."

"Me too," Mercedes said.

"Thank you," Sam said.

Finn and Mercedes kissed his cheeks and they slowly rose out of the bed, he admired their naked bodies, but more than that, he realized how lucky he was. Most people would have asked him why they just couldn't wait until later or just talk in bed. They didn't question him, just went along with what he wanted.

After washing up quickly in the bathroom, the three of them set out. Sam liked feeling the cool morning air against his face. A little jolt of happiness surged through him, and he grabbed Mercedes' hand and almost reached for Finn's but thought the better of it. Finn saw what he was about to do and he said:

"Oh, what the hell, nobody is around, give me your hand, babe."

Sam smiled as Finn held his hand. Mercedes lived in the most exclusive area of Lima and her neighborhood was called Tara Estates. All of the houses were huge and resembled southern plantation homes with the standard three white columns; and the lawns were so green that it reminded Sam of the fake plastic grass you stuffed into Easter baskets. Each street was named after a character from Gone with the Wind. Some of the doorbells even played the movie's theme when you rang them, and Sam was thankful that her doorbell didn't do that. Mercedes' house was on Scarlett Way.

"Do you guys mind if we go to the duck pond?" he asked, "It's not too far."

"You want to see Becky, don't you?" Mercedes asked squeezing his hand.

Sam laughed. "Yes, I do."

Becky was a duck that took a particular liking to Sam. She was big and white and her orange beak always nuzzled his leg when she saw him. When Sam and Mercedes first began dating, they spent a lot of time at the duck pond because it was usually deserted and it gave them privacy. They always brought stale bread to feed the ducks and Becky was inexplicably drawn to Sam. Sam couldn't remember why he named her Becky, but whenever they went to the duck pond she would greet him immediately and stay close to him, for no reason that either of them could understand.

When they got to Bonnie Blue Park where the pond was located, they sat on the bench and watched the ducks swimming around in the pond. Becky waddled over to Sam, gently bumping his leg with her beak.

"It's so weird. I've never seen a duck do that before," Mercedes commented, "You're the only one she touches."

Sam patted the duck's head.

"I wish we had something to feed her."

Mercedes fished around in her jacket pocket and found a Weight Watchers snack bar. She handed it to Sam. When he saw the label, he grimaced but kept his mouth shut, that conversation was for another time.

He broke up the bar and fed Becky. Soon the other ducks came over and Sam scattered what was left of the snack bar on the ground. After they gobbled it up the other ducks went back to the pond, but Becky remained and Sam absently stroked her head as he spoke.

"When I was a kid, I wasn't what you would call cute. In fact, I was sorta ugly. I was really skinny with dry patches of eczema on my face, and wore really thick glasses before I got corrective Lasik surgery. And then there was my mouth, the biggest thing on me."

"Wow," Finn said under his breath.

"Yeah," Sam said not looking at either one of them. It was easier to concentrate on Becky. Opening up was harder than he thought but he kept talking, "Add my dyslexia to that and I was a real charmer."

Finn and Mercedes remained silent. Sam didn't say anything for a moment then he said:

"So, I really didn't spend much time looking in the mirror. Anyway, my father wanted to change me."

He felt Mercedes shift closer to him and squeeze his arm.

"How?" she asked.

"He wanted to make me less weak. He always said I was too sensitive. When a car hit my dog, I cried really hard. He said I shouldn't cry so damned much and he beat me." Sam couldn't breathe for a second and he gasped. He remembered the burning sting of his father's belt. Finn put his hand on his shoulder.

"Babe?"

"I was just remembering something," Sam muttered.

"Sweetie, you don't have to talk about it now, if you don't want to," Mercedes whispered.

Sam shook his head.

"I need to. Let me finish." He took a deep breath. "My dog was lying in the middle of the road, and I kept holding onto his neck, tryin' to get him to wake up. If he opened his eyes everything would be ok again, right? But he wasn't waking up and the harder I held on, the deader he became. I remember seeing his blood was on the asphalt. My father was screaming at me to shut the hell up and get out of the road. He said he wished I got hit instead of the dog since the dog wasn't as pathetic as me. When he was beating me, if I cried it got worse, but if I didn't cry, it wasn't as bad. But that was hard cause all I was thinking about was my dog and how I was alone. My mom told me not to provoke him anymore."

Mercedes wrapped her arms around him and he felt her tears on his neck.

"My God, Sam."

Finn's arms were around him too. Sam got strength from their touch.

"He was insane. Like if I didn't clean my room right, I had to clean it again twice. And then he would beat me. Sometimes with a switch other times with a belt. Those beatings were hell, the lashes sliced through my skin. It hurt me to wear clothes. He hated how I looked. We would be eating dinner and he would just stare at me and I thought I had food on my face and he would whisper: 'God, you're ugly, where did you get those nigger lips?'" Sam turned to Mercedes, "I'm sorry Cedes but that's what he said.

"You don't have to apologize for that," she said kissing his cheek.

"I know but I feel that I have to," he then paused and continued to relive the memories that he kept hidden, "I couldn't be afraid of anything either. When I was five he knew I was afraid of beetles, so he went out to the woods, got a bunch of beetles made me lie down on the floor and let them crawl all over me. I was so scared. I don't know how long I lay there but it felt like a fucking million years. If I ever got hurt, like falling off my bike, I had to take care of myself; nobody was supposed to help. He kept saying he was making me strong. My mother loved me but she never protected me from him; she just told me not to make him mad. Guess she was scared of him too."

Becky perched next to his feet and he kept stroking her soft head. A cool breeze blew at the moment and he shivered. He took a deep breath and said:

"I never knew what he was going to say or do next. One time he told me that I almost died when I was born and he wondered if God made a mistake. I asked my mom about it and she said they hadn't expected me to live because I was so premature, but somehow I pulled through."

"There's something I don't understand," Finn said.

"What's that?"

"You guys were always going to church. I've never really read the bible but I'm pretty sure it doesn't say you should treat your kids like shit."

Finn's bluntness made Sam chuckle. He leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"I don't know. I think my father liked going to church because he could show off. You see my Dad is a great singer and he can play the piano and everyone in the congregation and in our town loved my Dad. People thought he was great. So he performed a lot in church. His favorite song was Amazing Grace and thinking it would please him, I decided to sing it in church while I played the guitar, well I got so much praise from everyone for that performance. Everyone loved it! But I just saw my Dad glaring at me. When we got home, he beat the shit out of me, he said I could never be as good as him and no matter what those folks at church said I was still nothing. You see I stole his spotlight and that couldn't happen. Then he smashed my guitar. Just slammed it against the floor. I loved that guitar. That hurt more than the beating."

Sam stared off into space, remembering how his guitar lay on the floor in broken pieces, Stacey and Stevie were crying and his mother hovered in the kitchen doorway, her hands covering her face.

"I wanted to die - to me there was nothing left. But church is what saved and killed me.

"What do you mean?" Mercedes asked quietly.

"We had this awesome preacher, Reverend Franklin was the greatest man I've ever known. I would go to his house afterschool and he would let me help take care of his animals. He took in strays or if he found an injured animal he would try to make it well again. He told me funny stories. So many times I wanted to tell him what was going on at home. I really didn't have any friends. Everybody thought I was weird. I hid my bruises really well and my Dad never hit my face. His wife was great. Mrs. Franklin was in a wheelchair but the way she got around, you never thought about her disability. She told me I would be a heartbreaker when I grew up; I told her I was ugly. She grabbed my face and said 'Sammy, you're a lovable beautiful child, don't let anybody tell you different.'

Sam stopped talking for a few minutes because he began to cry. Finn and Mercedes held his hands.

"I tried so hard to be good you know? I knew my scriptures. I tried in school but it was so fucking hard. I did my best but somehow I was bad."

"You were a good boy Sam, your father was an asshole. You were good then and you're even more wonderful now, and if we have to tell you for the rest of our lives, we will." Mercedes said as she held him.

Sam realized again why he loved Mercedes Jones. He kissed her lips and said:

"I love you, Cedes."

"I love you too."

Finn hugged and kissed him.

"Babe, I'm so sorry that stuff happened to you. I can't even imagine…"

Nobody said anything for a while. Everything was still and peaceful and the only sounds were the ducks quacking and the wind blowing softly. But Sam had more of his story to tell so he plunged ahead.

"I think that Reverend Franklin began to suspect something was up because he started asking me questions about my Dad."

"Like what?" Finn asked.

"He asked if we ever did stuff together and if we got along. Then he said, 'You know you can tell me anything.' He wondered what happened to my guitar because I stopped bringing it when I came over; I told him it was being repaired. I was too scared to say anything so I said things were great. Well one day while I was helping him feed a kitten that was blind in one eye, he suddenly just clutched his chest and collapsed. I ran and told Mrs. Franklin and she called 911. When the paramedics came he was already dead, we watched him die. He just smiled a little and closed his eyes. The one man I admired the most was gone. I hugged Mrs. Franklin and she just clung to me. It was so awful. I hated going to church after that cause everything reminded me of Reverend Franklin. I wish I had told him the truth about my father."

Sam felt that familiar pain in his chest whenever he thought about that horrible day. Then he said:

"We got a new preacher. His name was Reverend Barnes and he was young and cool. His wife was weird; she never said much and always looked sad. He liked video games and taking the youth group on camping trips. By then I made friends with this older kid named James who just moved to town. He was fat and geeky and we made a good pair. Anyway, Reverend Barnes would single James and me out to do things like help clean the church on Saturdays or sometimes he would take us for pizza. He was like our big brother. Since my father was so strict, I didn't spend as much time with him as James did. When I was at his house I played his guitar a lot since I no longer had one. One weekend James stayed with Reverend Barnes because his grandmother was out of town. I wished I could stay too, but that was impossible. Then James got weird after that weekend. He got quiet and he didn't want to hang out as much. Finally, he told me to stay away from Reverend Barnes, but he wouldn't tell me why, he just said he would fix everything and – "

Sam felt his body shake. He didn't think it would be this hard. Going back to that dark place, just sinking back into to all of those ugly things…

"_Just stay away from that asshole, ok Sam? Listen to me. I'm your friend and I'm warning you."_

"_Why? Did something happen over the weekend. How come you don't want to hang out anymore?"_

"_Sam, he made me do things, alright? Things I didn't want to do!"_

"_Like what?"_

"_He made me put his dick in my mouth! And I couldn't breathe and he told me that I liked it and to shut up and take it!"_

"Sam, baby, let's go home, you've opened up enough" Mercedes soft voice broke into his memory.

"No, Cedes, I gotta do this, please. I can do this," Sam said and he continued with his story:

"James told me that Reverend Barnes raped him over and over again that weekend. I didn't know what to say or do. So I thought we should tell his grandmother and the police, but James didn't want to. He said that Reverend Barnes told him if he told anybody, no one would believe him because he was just a fat fuck and who would care anyway? And like an idiot, I kept my mouth shut. James said he was going to handle it."

Finn interjected.

"First of all, you were not an idiot. Kids believe anything. How old were you guys?"

"I was 12 and James was 14. Anyway, things got worse with James. He stopped going to school and he was angry all the time. Then one day my father told me to take some papers over to Reverend Barnes' house. I have no clue why my Dad just didn't drive over himself. I didn't want to go, but if I said no, I knew a beating was in store, so I got on my bike and went over there. I figured I could just slip the folder under his front door. But as I was about to do that, Reverend Barnes opened the door and saw me standing there.

"_Hey, Sam, what's going on?" Reverend Barnes was smiling at him._

"_My father wanted me to give these to you," Sam said, handing him the papers._

"_Thanks, do you want to come in for a while? I know how much you love playing my guitar…"_

Sam couldn't breathe and he got up from the bench, with Becky trailing after him. Finn and Mercedes followed him. He walked around the pond, trying to focus, trying to breathe, it was all too close, why did everything have to be so fucking close? He felt Mercedes touch his arm and then Finn grabbed his hand.

"Babe, this is too intense. We should go home."

But to Sam, they were a million miles away and he was 12 years old again and it was a warm May afternoon. Reverend Barnes' house smelled like wood polish and when his face hit the wood floor, he inhaled the lemony odor, let the tears run down his face. His thick glasses cracked.

"_I like you Sam and I know you like me. You come in here all coy wanting to play the guitar and sing, I know exactly what you want, and you're gonna get it just like James."_

"_Let me go!"_

"_Shut up you little bitch."_

_He slammed his head into the floor._

_Then he heard the front door open. Footsteps._

"_Get off of him!"_

_It was James._

Sam didn't realize he was running. He ran from the duck pond in the direction of the walking trail in the park. Why didn't he stay home that day or just take a beating from his father? That would have been better, so much better.

"_What the hell are you doing in my house?"_

"_I said get off of him!" James shouted._

_Sam felt blood trickle from his nose. His head throbbed._

"_You came here to fight me you fat piece of shit? Is that it?_

"_No"_

"_Then what are you going to –"_

The trees in the park flew past him as he ran, the air was cool, his feet pounded against the pavement. He had to get away from that 12 year old boy. How could he get away from him?

_There was a gunshot. Then another._

_Reverend Barnes collapsed on top of him, his body warm._

_More footsteps. Somebody crying. A woman was crying._

"_Oh my God!"_

_Sam wanted to move but he just couldn't move._

"Sam! Sam!"

The two people he loved the most in the world were calling his name. He wanted to stop but he just couldn't. It was Finn who caught up with him first, he grabbed Sam's arm tight.

"Stop Sam, please stop!"

Finn's hold was strong. It wasn't meant to hurt Sam only to get him back and Sam understood. He stopped running and fell to his knees with Finn beside him. Then Mercedes appeared and crouched down on the ground, her arms wrapped around him, her sweet breath in his ear:

"Baby, please, just breathe, ok, just breathe."

Finn rubbed circles on his back. Sam stared at the ground. Nothing was real.

"My father said I deserved it. That I was asking for it. That's why he left me out in the storm." Sam whispered.

"_I always knew you were a fag."_

They gently urged him off the ground. Sam let them hold him; he needed to feel something other than the ugliness he wanted to bury. A few curious bystanders glanced in their direction. One woman asked if they needed help, but they shook their heads.

"We'll be fine," Finn said.

Somehow they managed to walk home. Sam felt like he was being carried, even though his feet were touching the ground. It made him think of the poem Footprints in the Sand. Reverend Franklin always liked that poem.

When they got home, Sam went and lied down on the couch. Finn went to make them all coffee. There was so much going on inside him that he couldn't speak. Mercedes stroked his head and gazed into his eyes:

"Sam, no matter what anyone said to you when you were a kid - that was not your fault. Reverend Barnes was a sick bastard. Those beatings were not your fault. And never forget, Finn and I love you so very much and, this doesn't change things."

Sam pulled her into a hug, and they just held each other for a long time. The storm was still there in his chest but it wasn't as strong, it stirred and rumbled with the dark memories he tried to destroy yet somehow kept resurfacing. Now that the storm was weaker, he could love stronger if that was possible, and he could begin to heal.

* * *

**_Thanks, Mom For Everything_**

The following afternoon Finn sat in his bedroom checking his email as he anxiously waited for his mother and Burt's return from the Grand Canyon. He hated to leave Mercedes and Sam, but they were due back that day and he knew that they expected him to be home. Kurt was still in the Hamptons with Blaine spending time with his family. When Kurt called earlier, Finn didn't tell him about any of the drama that happened while he was away, instead he said he was having a great time with his girlfriend and boyfriend and when Blaine and Kurt got back they all needed to go out. Hanging out with friends on a Friday night just felt so normal and nice and that's what he wanted at the moment, something to remind him that he was a teenager.

These past few days had been such a roller coaster ride that his head was still spinning. And then there was Sam. His heart was still breaking for him. He just wanted take each bad thing that happened to him, toss it into a fire, and watch it burn – but life wasn't so simple. Mercedes said that they were definitely going to get Sam to see a therapist; Finn agreed that that was the best thing to do but he had no idea what Sam's reaction would be. They would probably have to go with him and Finn was willing to do whatever it took to help Sam deal with his past. He loved him completely as he did Mercedes and there was nothing that would stop him from helping either one of them.

He looked out the window and stared at his mother's flower garden. The pink and red roses made him think of Mercedes; she loved roses. The next time he saw her he would take her some; Sam wasn't big on flowers so he would give him something else. God, he already missed them. His mind drifted to their beautiful faces gazing at him when they awoke in the morning all cuddled up together in her big bed. He turned back to his computer and sighed. Quinn sent him an email asking him how his summer was coming along; she was in California visiting her father. It felt like a million years ago when they were together. He wondered if they were ever in love. Then he saw an email from Rachel. She was at some musical theater camp in upstate New York. She said it wasn't challenging enough and that her talent wasn't being cultivated - same old Rachel. Finn suddenly felt old. All that shit they complained about in glee club was so petty. Nobody realized how fortunate they were. He gave them each brief responses and said things were great. They didn't know about his relationship with Mercedes and Sam; he wasn't sure what their reaction would be and when he thought about it he didn't really care.

He shut down his computer and straightened up his room. His mother had been nagging him about being neater. After he was finished, he went downstairs and made a grilled cheese sandwich, just as he sat down to the kitchen table to eat it, he heard the garage door open. They were home. He greeted them at the front door, taking their bags and giving them each a huge hug. His mother laughed as she held him.

"Finn, what's with all the affection? Did you almost burn down the kitchen?"

He stepped back a little embarrassed.

"I just missed you that's all," he mumbled.

"Nothing wrong with that, son," Burt said and ruffled his hair, "I got an awful headache, traffic was murder, I'm going upstairs to take a quick nap."

"Ok, sweetie, I'll have dinner waiting for you when you get up," his mother said, kissing Burt's cheek.

After he disappeared upstairs, Finn turned to his mother and said:

"Do you mind if we talk?"

His mother cocked her head to the side, her hazel eyes concerned.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, but there's just some things that I want to say to you."

She nodded and they sat down on the couch. Kurt was in the process of redecorating the living room, so the couch now had a hunter green slip cover and the lamps had new funky lampshades that resembled Andy Warhol paintings, he called it 'modern chic.' The only thing Finn liked about the living room was the wedding photo of the four of them together because everyone was so happy that day.

His mother faced him, giving him her full attention. She nervously played with her wedding ring, twisting it around her slender finger.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Mom, thanks for being a great mother. I know I wasn't always a good kid but you always believed in me and told me I was worth something when no one else did, and that means so much to me. I love you so much mom, thank you for loving me and telling me I was smart when everyone said I was dumb and that I was handsome when I looked like an ogre with braces…" Finn started crying.

"Finny, you don't have to thank me for that. I love you sweetheart, no matter what. But it's nice to hear." She reached out and hugged him.

"What brought all of this on?"

"Sam has gone through some horrible stuff Mom, his dad is – I can't even begin to tell you –"

"Is Sam being abused?"

"When he was younger, but I don't know if it's still going on."

"If it is still happening we need to call the police. I don't sit on the sidelines when stuff like this goes on."

Finn nodded and he remembered when his mother reported a child abuse incident when he was in elementary school: a girl in his class was being beaten by her mother, so they ended up taking her out of the home.

"I'll find out," Finn said as he wiped his face.

His mother sighed and leaned back on the couch.

"Sam's such a good kid. It kills me to hear he was abused. How are things with the three of you?"

"Other than that and some stuff with Mercedes, we're doing great."

"You know I'm still not thrilled with this threesome relationship. I have no problem with you being bisexual, but the dynamic of this whole thing has me worried."

Finn was surprised that she referred to him as bisexual because he still hadn't labeled himself. He just knew that he was in love with Sam and Mercedes.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's so odd, no offense. But I have to say that when I see the three of you together I see a deep connection that wasn't there with Quinn or Rachel. Once when you guys were here studying together, I thought it was so lovely how supportive you were of each other, it was like watching a family. After seeing that, I was less upset but I have reservations."

"Thanks, Mom, I love you," Finn said hugging her close.

"I love you too, son."

* * *

**_Missing You_**

That night as Finn got ready for bed, he got a text message from Mercedes.

Mercedes: we luv you and miss you.

Finn smiled. He pictured them snuggled on the couch.

Finn: i luv and miss you both. how is sam?

Mercedes: a little better. tired.

Finn: sending you both a kiss.

Mercedes: thanks. r u coming tomorrow?

Finn: yes

Mercedes: good. luv you, nite.

Finn: nite, baby.

Finn sighed and crawled into bed, as he drifted off to sleep, he recalled that day at the botanical gardens.

"_Do you believe in forever?" Sam asked him, they were in the greenhouse, and purple hyacinths surrounded them. Mercedes had one in her hair; it matched her sundress._

"_I guess," Finn said, not sure what to say._

"_Then think of forever with us because it's happening," Sam said and kissed him._

He smiled to himself and thought of greenhouse kisses, saying grace, dancing sparklers, and all the good things they had together. Though his heart remained broken for what lie ahead for Sam.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

**Summary:** Sam's co-worker questions him about his sexuality; Mercedes reveals why her mother is disappointed in her; Finn gives Sam a special gift.

**Rating: **Mature

**Warning:** Very strong sexual content (anal play, sex toy), strong language. Discussion of colorism (light skin/dark skin). Racism. Self-esteem issues.

**Author's Note:** This chapter is rather fluffy and sexy with dashes of angst. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you again for all the reviews, story alerts and favorites and for reading this admittedly, very odd story about a threesome relationship. It also includes a discussion on racism. Please read with discretion.

* * *

**_Love, Lawn Jockeys and Dave Matthews_**

_They were swimming in a lake. Finn and Mercedes were on either side of him, their bodies gliding through the water gracefully, their naked flesh glistening in the moonlight. Sam reached out for them and they glanced over their shoulders, whispering that they loved him. But he could never touch them, he wanted to wrap his arms around them, but they were getting farther and farther away, and the river turned to blood, he was drowning, going deeper into the blood, and suddenly he was in Reverend Barnes' house and James stood in the doorway, waiting for him._

_"I did it for you," he said before firing the gun._

Sam woke up screaming. Mercedes reached for him and murmured:

"Baby, it was just a nightmare, go back to sleep." She wrapped her arms around him. Sam looked at her digital clock and it said 3 a.m. He hugged her close and felt her heartbeat, the slow, steady rhythm matched his own, and he soon fell back to sleep. He awoke again to the sound of her alarm - it was now 7:30 a.m. and he had to get ready for his shift at Chang's Deli. Mercedes' Afro peeked out from underneath the covers and Sam smiled as he touched her soft, kinky hair. She slowly pulled back the covers and yawned; Sam leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Don't worry about taking me to work. I can walk or catch the bus."

Mercedes rubbed her eyes and looked up at him.

"Just give me a minute and I will drop you off. It's no trouble at all."

"Sweetheart, you're tired. Besides I feel guilty because -"

She cut him off.

"Don't even start with that. Nightmares happen. I'm here. I love you. That's it."

"You're amazing, and I love you too." Sam said, kissing her on the lips. He licked her bottom lip, seeking entrance into her mouth and she obliged. Even with morning breath, Mercedes tasted good to him. The kiss grew hotter and suddenly Sam wanted more, much more. He was hard.

"Do you think we have time to, well you, know?" He raised his eyebrows and pointed to his growing erection.

"Sam Evans, are you asking me for a quickie?" She said laughing, her cheeks turning red.

Sam nodded.

"So what do you say?"

Mercedes grinned and pulled him into a kiss. He nudged her thighs apart and he pushed himself inside her.

"Oh, oh..." she moaned.

Gazing down at her, he said:

"I love how you're squeezing my cock, baby, so hot and tight." He drove into her, thrusting his hips, Mercedes grabbed his firm ass and stroked it, giving each cheek a light slap. Her soft hands felt so good on his ass and he groaned. He sucked her big, brown nipples, giving her love bites on the surrounding skin, and Mercedes came moments later, whimpering softly. With a few more thrusts, Sam came soon after, his cum spilling inside her. He kissed her.

"That was awesome."

"I agree. It's the best way to wake up," she smiled up at him and he knew that he wanted to wake up like this everyday for the rest of their lives.

They quickly showered, with Sam resisting the urge to push her against the white tiled wall and take her from behind, it was difficult since her lovely big ass kept bumping against his cock as they stood under the shower spray, but he was good. After they were done, they got dressed and headed out the door. Once they were inside her red Honda, Mercedes turned on the radio, and she began singing along to the song playing, her eyes fixed on the road.

_People stare and we just ignore_

_What's the use in hiding out_

_She says all the time_

_Let their eyes do the worrying about…_

Sam listened to the lyrics.

"This song reminds me of us," he commented. Mercedes nodded.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"What's it called?"

"Recently. Dave Matthews Band."

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you Mrs. Evans?"

A bit of the diva slipped out and she responded:

"Uh, last time I checked my last name was Jones, thank you very much."

"Well as my future wife and mother of my awesome children, I think I can call you Mrs. Evans."

"Remember our wonderful boyfriend Finn Hudson whom we both love completely? I don't think it would be right to take your name and leave him in the cold. Besides, I can't marry both of you anyway. We talked about this before."

Sam sighed.

"Yeah, I know, I'm just dreaming out loud, that's all. Don't think I've forgotten about Finn, he has my heart too."

As the music played softly in the background, Sam gazed out the window and he noticed that quite a few houses in Tara Estates had black lawn jockeys. He wasn't quite sure if he liked them.

"What's with the lawn jockeys?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do people have them? They look creepy."

"Well this is the legend I always heard. A black boy named Jocko Graves served with General George Washington during the time he crossed the Delaware to attack the British in New Jersey. The General felt that Jocko was too young to take on such a dangerous mission with his army so he left him in Pennsylvania and ordered him to tend to the horses and keep a light on the riverbank for their return.

"So George Washington just leaves Jocko alone on the Pennsylvania riverbank? How old was the kid? Was he a slave?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. His age varies. Depends on who is telling the story. I think he was free. Now, baby, let me finish," Mercedes said and patted his knee; she paused then asked:

"Ok, where was I?"

"He just left Jocko on the riverbank," Sam said.

"Oh yeah, well anyway, Jocko was so faithful to his orders that he froze to death on the riverbank that night, with the lantern still in his hand. The General was so touched by Jocko's devotion that he had a statue made. And that's where the black lawn jockeys come from."

"Wow, is that true?"

Mercedes stopped at a red light and looked over at him.

"Beats me. It's just a story I was told. You act as though you've never seen those lawn jockeys before."

"I have but I guess I never really looked at them." He wasn't sure how to say what he meant. The jockeys' features were distorted: eyes too white, lips too red. When she pulled in front of Chang's Deli, Sam turned to her and said:

"You're different of shades of brown."

"What?"

"Your skin, it's brown, but it's layered. Like the skin behind your knees is a little darker and your cheeks have reddish undertones. But its because I'm really looking at you that I can see that, understand?"

For a long moment, they just stared at each other. Sam reached for her hand and held it. He loved holding her hand; it was like claiming her as his own. Even when people stared, he still enjoyed the feeling of her small hand being swallowed up with his big one.

Mercedes smiled at him.

"I understand."

"Good, and when we decorate the yard of our future house, we're sticking to pink flamingos," Sam said and kissed her. Mercedes burst out laughing.

"Sam, you are such a dork, but I love you anyway. Now have a good day and call me when your shift ends."

"I love you too, bye Cedes," he said and then stole one more kiss before leaving the car.

* * *

**_Yes, I Have a Boyfriend and Girlfriend_**

Chang's Deli didn't sell Chinese food much to the dismay of any new Lima residents. The owner was a distant cousin of Mike Chang. People would walk in expecting shrimp fried rice and not understand why it wasn't on the menu. Mr. Chang's unofficial slogan was "We don't serve Chinese" but then he stopped saying it because it sounded like he didn't serve Chinese people and that was just weird. Despite the confusion about the menu, the deli did good business because they had the best sandwiches in downtown Lima. Sam enjoyed working there, because Mr. Chang liked his ideas on how to spice up the sandwiches and some of them were hits - like adding rosemary to the chicken salad or chipotle mayo to the turkey club sandwich. Sam did everything at the deli, but he enjoyed being in the kitchen the most.

When he walked inside that day, the place was crowded with morning rush crowd. Mr. Chang was at the cash register and greeted him with a smile; his glasses perched on his skinny nose.

"Sam you're on the grill with Dylan."

He reminded Sam of an Asian Mr. Rogers because he always wore cardigan sweaters. Today he had on a burgundy one despite the fact that it was ninety degrees outside.

"Sure thing, Mr. Chang." Sam responded.

There wasn't much to the decor of the deli: black and white photos of Mr. Chang's trip to Greece in 1976 adorned the brick walls, and the tables were covered with purple plaid tablecloths. When he got to the kitchen, he washed his hands, and found his co-worker Dylan burning the eggs.

"Dude, you have to be a little quicker with the spatula, do you want to do sausage instead?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, ok," he said.

Dylan was 19. He had messy black hair, a nose ring, and the palest skin Sam had ever seen.

"Sorry about the eggs," Dylan mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," Sam said. "So how are you doing?"

Dylan shrugged.

"My girlfriend dumped me last night."

"Damn, that's rough. How long had you been together?" Sam asked as he got more eggs out of the commercial sized refrigerator.

"A fucking year. Can you believe that shit?" Dylan asked while slicing up the sausage to fry.

"Sorry dude," Sam responded.

"Thanks, man. She dumped me for some guy she met in her Spanish class at the community college. His name is Jeff and get this, he's like almost 40."

"Wow."

Dylan arranged the sausage on the grill and said:

"What was I expecting anyway? She was hot, could have any guy she wanted. I'm a drug addict who goes to meetings in church basements."

"I'm sure you'll find someone else," Sam said, not sure how to console him. He never was good at stuff like this.

"Sam, you got a girlfriend, right?"

Sam felt his shoulders tense.

"Yeah."

"How long have you guys been going out?"

"Awhile," Sam said and continued to fry the eggs. He didn't want to discuss his relationship and hoped the conversation would end. Dylan narrowed his dark eyes at him, but didn't say anything else. The two worked in silence for the rest of the morning.

After they prepared for the lunch crowd, he and Dylan went to the alley behind the deli to take a break. Dylan offered him a cigarette but Sam waved him off.

"I know I should quit," Dylan said as he lit the cigarette, "But it's hard." He took a drag and then said to Sam:

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"That depends on how personal it is," Sam replied as he sat on an old milk crate.

"If it's too personal then you don't have to answer it."

"Fair enough. What did you want to ask me?"

Dylan flicked a few ashes on the ground.

"Are you bi?"

Sam was taken aback. Admittedly, he was in love with both a girl and a boy, and that would be defined as bisexual, though he didn't like labels.

"You're right that is personal but yeah, I guess I am. Why?"

"You're messing around with a black girl and really tall white guy with brown hair aren't you?"

His question shocked Sam at first and then he was angry. He wasn't messing around with Finn and Mercedes; the three of them were in a committed relationship. Sam stood up and looked Dylan in the eyes.

"First of all, we aren't _messing around, _that's my girlfriend and boyfriend and they mean everything to me. We have a threesome relationship. Secondly, how do you even know?"

"Shit, Sam, calm the fuck down. Look, one day I saw this black girl come into the deli, and you were at the cash register, she said you forgot your wallet and the two of you were all lovey-dovey. So I figured it was your girlfriend. But then the next day, this big white dude comes in and the way you two were looking at each other, I knew something was up. You didn't touch or kiss, but you may as well have. So I didn't know what was going on."

Sam had forgotten that Mercedes and Finn had come to the deli. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

"I didn't mean to get defensive, but even when it was just me and Mercedes, people would have something to say. It got on my nerves after awhile. They would question why I was with her and say I could do better. Such bullshit. And then Finn came into the picture, and I never saw that coming. So, yeah, I have to be careful. When it comes to the people I love I'm very protective."

"I understand and I'm sorry, I should have said it differently. And I'm not knocking your girl or anything but I think people picture you with a skinny blonde."

Sam shook his head. He was tired.

"That's what gets me. I was with a skinny blonde and it was a disaster. So my girlfriend is black and not a size 2, why does it matter? She's beautiful to me and I wouldn't trade her for anything. Since you asked me about my sexuality, what about you? Are you bi?"

Dylan finished his cigarette and dropped it on the ground, grinding it out with this sneaker.

"Nope, I'm pretty boring. I'm straight. I think your relationship is cool because you have two people that love you, most people can't even find one."

"Thanks. I wish more people felt that way," Sam said.

"Hey maybe, you, me and your boyfriend and girlfriend can hang out sometime?"

Sam chuckled.

"Really? You want to hang out with us?"

"Yeah."

"We're not that exciting. Our idea of a good time is me cooking a nice dinner and then we snuggle up on the couch and watch movies. Sometimes we play video games. Or I will play the guitar and we'll sing."

"That does sound lame. But I'm down for it," Dylan said, "Since I got out of rehab and came to Lima to live with my aunt, I haven't made too many friends. Besides I have to be careful about who I hang out with because of my addiction."

Sam wondered if Finn and Mercedes would like Dylan. They got along with most people, but Dylan was weird and Finn for all his kindness had a thing about addicts.

"Sure, we can hang out sometime."

Dylan smiled, his nose ring shining in the sunlight.

"Cool, well I guess we better get back to work."

At that moment, Sam's phone vibrated. It was a text message from Mercedes. Attached was a picture of her standing next to Becky at the duck pond. It simply said, "I love you." Then he got a text message from Finn that said: "I love you. Can't wait to see you and Mercy today." Sam smiled to himself. Yeah, he was a very lucky guy.

* * *

**_Your Name Should Have Been Antoinette Baptiste Jones_**

"Do you think I'm still same guy you fell in love with?" Sam asked Mercedes.

They were soaking in her huge bathtub, steam rose from the water, and their faces were damp with sweat. Sam had his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder

They had lit scented candles and set them on the floor by the tub, giving the bathroom a soft, romantic glow. It felt wonderful to Sam; his muscles ached after being on his feet all day at the deli, and the hot water relieved the soreness. Mercedes used her jasmine scented bubble bath, so the tub was filled with fragrant, purple tinted suds.

"Yes," she said, "You don't think you're the same?"

"I don't feel the same. I feel different."

Mercedes turned to look at him.

"Well your hair is longer; it's touching your

shoulders."

"Do you want me to cut it?"

"It doesn't matter to me; I like it both ways," she touched his long locks and smiled.

"I'm keeping it long," Sam said, staring off into space, "Do you think Finn will object?"

"Finn could careless, he just loves you for you, like I do," she paused then said, "How do you feel different?"

"I've never let anybody completely in like I have with you and Finn; you both know parts of me that I kept hidden."

"You didn't tell Quinn anything?"

Sam chuckled.

"Are you kidding? Quinn was on a mission; our relationship wasn't based on anything real."

"You gave her a promise ring," Mercedes pointed out.

"And I regret that. I wish I could take back that moment."

Mercedes only nodded and the two fell silent, just enjoying being close to one another.

Finally, Sam spoke:

"I'm scared, Cedes."

"I know, but me and Finn aren't going anywhere. You're not alone." She hugged him close to her heart, and Sam clung to her. Again he wondered what he did to deserve such a remarkable girl.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too."

"I know that you don't like for me to apologize but I'm sorry about waking you up with my nightmares; it's just that it all feels so real, you know?"

"You're right I don't want you to apologize. Baby, it doesn't bother me at all." She kissed his heart and said:

"What are the nightmares about?"

Sam closed his eyes.

"Bad stuff. The ones I hate the most have you and Finn in them. In one nightmare, the three of us are getting married, not that getting married to you both is the bad part, the awful thing that happens is that its Reverend Barnes standing at the altar waiting to marry us."

Sam felt the familiar panic in his chest. Mercedes rubbed his shoulders and back, calming him down. When he got his breath, he said:

"You know both of you looked so beautiful in that dream. You had these long dreadlocks and I think you were pregnant."

Mercedes laughed out loud.

"So I was knocked up walking down the aisle?"

Sam grinned.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Since you love to talk about our future children, what would you name them?" Mercedes asked as she leaned back against him.

Sam stroked her breasts, occasionally squeezing the large mounds. He thought for a moment then replied:

"I don't know. I'm terrible with names. Finn said he liked the name Susan for a girl."

Mercedes shrugged. "Susan is an okay name I guess."

"What is your middle name?" Sam asked her.

"Oh, you don't want to know," Mercedes chuckled.

Sam kissed her shoulder.

"Come on, you know mine."

Mercedes sighed.

"My middle name is Antoinette."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was my great grandmother's name. In fact, my mother hates my first name. My Dad named me Mercedes."

"Why doesn't she like your first name?"

"She thinks its ghetto. But I think the real reason she hates it so much is because its one more reminder that I'm not like her. I'm a Jones through and through - I'm big and dark skinned. Jones women are sturdy. Baptiste women are delicate fairies and almost white. You saw that painting in the dining room. How could someone like that give birth to me?"

Mercedes stared down at her hands, and didn't bother to stop the tears from falling. They fell into the bath water making tiny ripples. Sam raised her head and gazed into her eyes.

"Enough. I won't let you do this. I don't give a fuck about what your mother says because the way I see it - it's complete bullshit. Your dark brown skin _is _beautiful, and don't even get me started on how awesome your body is. I mean your mother is hot but so are you, even more so in my opinion."

Mercedes giggled.

"You think my mom is hot?"

Sam blushed.

"Ok, so that didn't come out right, but yeah. I mean I only met her once and she barely looked at me."

"She only looks at people that matter to her, no offense."

"None taken, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you know you can ask me anything."

"Is that why you have all those skin bleaching creams in your medicine cabinet?"

Sam knew he had struck a nerve by the way her brown eyes grew wide in shock. At first he thought she was angry, but then she just nodded and looked away. He didn't say anything; he only stroked her skin and admired how gorgeous she was in the candlelight, and silently cursed her mother for being so goddamned blind. He made a mental note to throw out all of those creams. But now he was going to give Mercedes some serious loving because that's what his baby deserved.

Sam kissed her in all those familiar places he loved: that soft spot behind her ear, the scar beneath her chin she got when she was 3 years old and fell off her tricycle, and the hollow of her neck that dipped slightly. He knew every inch of her body from her birthmarks to scars to moles... a map of her life was on her skin. Mercedes closed her eyes and her breathing became shallow, the soft yellow light shined on her face and he thought she looked like an angel.

"Cedes, you're so beautiful," he whispered. Sam loved the slippery feel of her smooth wet skin.

He pulled away from her for a moment and said:

"Do you mind if we..." his voice trailed off.

She understood and they got out of the tub, dried each other off, and went into the bedroom, their arms wrapped around each other. He pushed her gently back onto the bed, loving how her big breasts swayed, and her thighs jiggled. Everything about Mercedes was rich, full and abundant. He slipped his fingers inside her and moved them in and out, marveling at how she reacted to his touch, she writhed about on the bed, gripping the sheets; he then removed his fingers, and pushed her legs further apart.

He placed a soft kiss to her pussy, before slowly licking between her delicate folds. Sam was no stranger to pussy, he had seen his fair share once he got confident with girls and was no longer that ugly kid, but Mercedes' had all of them beat - her scent, taste, and smell were so addictive. He loved how he could always smell her arousal, even when she was fully dressed, if they were in a heavy make out session, he could smell her: it was a slightly sweet, musky scent, that drove him crazy. Once his nose picked up on it, all he could think about was making love to her. Her taste was unique and he couldn't define it except that it was an indescribable tangy sweetness.

So he enjoyed pushing his long, thick tongue into her tight pussy, and feeling her big thighs quiver as she cried out her pleasure. Then he saw her pretty pearl like clit and gave it a gentle suck, his big lips capturing it with just enough suction, Mercedes screamed and came in his mouth, flooding it with her essence.

"Oh, God, Sam!"

He continued to lick her pussy, wanting her to come as many times as she could, burying his tongue into her core, sucking, licking, drinking all that she had to offer. Damn, she tasted good to him, eating her pussy was the greatest pleasure in the world to Sam. He made sure to hum against her clit when he sucked it because that always pushed her over the edge.

"Sam! Sam…" Mercedes was crying, but he knew it wasn't from pain, and he kept going.

"Your pussy tastes so good, come for me baby, don't stop coming for me," Sam said.

She shook violently, pressing her soft thighs against his head in an almost vice like grip. He pulled away and kissed her as she rode through her fifth and final orgasm, his tongue exploring her mouth, and she moaned into the kiss as her body calmed down. When he broke the kiss, she looked up at him and smiled, her face damp with tears, she could barely speak.

"That was amazing," she whispered.

"You're worth all of that and more," Sam said, "Mercedes Jones, you _are_ the best of everything there is. I'm blessed to call you mine. I love you."

"I love you too," she said through her tears as he held her close.

He kissed her again, this time more slowly, and then he said:

"Your dark brown skin, your big, luscious body… just everything is beyond beautiful. Damn, baby, I can't get enough of you." He suddenly got an idea and whispered, "Turn over, I want to try something. I know you will like it."

She turned over without questioning him but then he realized that Mercedes trusted him completely, and this made his heart glad. Once she was lying face down, Sam kissed and licked her ass before giving each cheek a good smack, watching them shake. He then lay down on his stomach and parted her cheeks, exposing her pretty asshole, he gave it a nice, slow lick. Mercedes moaned. Sam smirked.

"I knew you would like this," he said and then he slowly pushed his tongue into her asshole, wiggling it around.

Mercedes screamed at the sensation. Sam moved his tongue in and out of her asshole until she had two more mind-blowing orgasms. By then, Sam was hard as a rock, so he flipped her over and buried his cock inside her. She eagerly met each of his thrusts as he pummeled her sweet pussy. Mercedes squeezed his cock just right and Sam groaned at how good she felt.

"Fuck, shit, Cedes, your pussy, so hot, tight… You're gonna come again so hard, baby, this pussy was made for my dick," he said as she jiggled and bounced beneath him, her back arching off the bed; he reached down and squeezed her tits, tweaking the nipples as he drove his tongue into her mouth. He cried out as he came inside her, his cum shooting inside her. Moments later, Mercedes came too. They were both sweaty and panting as they held each other.

And then the doorbell rang.

"Are you expecting anybody?" he asked, not wanting to get up.

"Baby, remember, Finn is supposed to come over today. It's probably him."

Sam gave a devilish smile.

"We should greet him at the door like this, he said only half joking. Mercedes swatted his arm playfully.

"As appealing as that sounds, I don't want my neighbors to get a peep show."

"Ok, party pooper. You stay up here, and I'll go downstairs to get our boyfriend," he said as he slipped on his boxers and left the bedroom.

When he got to the front door, he looked through the peephole and saw Finn standing there with a bouquet of roses; he looked so handsome in his jeans and red polo shirt. Sam flung the door open and yanked him inside, slamming the door. Before Finn could speak, Sam pushed him against the wall and kissed him, he ran his hands through Finn's damp hair. Even though Finn had just showered, Sam could still smell the lingering odor of Burt's garage on his skin, but it didn't repel him in the least, he thought it was sexy. As he pushed his tongue further into Finn's mouth, Sam noticed that he tasted like vanilla ice cream, and this made him smile, he knew Finn had probably stopped off at Dairy Queen on the way over there. He was addicted to that place. Sam grinded his cock against Finn's crotch and moaned. Finn responded by kissing him back passionately and thrusting his hips forward to match Sam's movements. They finally pulled away from each other gasping for breath. Finn laughed a little and said:

"You taste like Mercy, so I know what you guys were up to." He licked his lips.

Sam nodded.

"You came just in time, are the roses for our girl?"

"Of course, unless you want them?" Finn teased.

"I think I'll pass. Cedes will love them; they're almost as beautiful as she is," Sam said and then he wrapped his arms around Finn, hugging him close, "I'm glad you're here, babe," he murmured, "I love you."

"I love you too, Sam, and I have something for you. It's –"

Finn didn't finish what he was saying because Sam was pulling Finn's shirt over his head letting his hands roam over his massive chest.

"You can give me my gift later, but right now I just want to see you naked," Sam said as he unzipped Finn's jeans and yanked them down with his boxers. Finn helped him and then Sam slipped off his boxers. They stood there nude, admiring each other, before embracing again, their hard cocks touching. They held hands and went upstairs to the bedroom.

* * *

**_Cedes, I Didn't Know You Had One of Those_**

When they got to the bedroom, they found Mercedes lying in the middle of the bed, her legs were spread wide and she was holding a mini-silver vibrator against her pussy, moaning at the sensation. She smiled at her boyfriends and winked.

They stood there shocked.

"Cedes, when did you buy a vibrator?" Sam asked, his cock getting harder by the second.

"Yeah, when?" Finn asked. His body was reacting the same way, and he was breathing hard.

"Are you two going to ask questions? Or are you going to fuck me?" Mercedes asked. _Whoa, where did that come from?_ She wondered. She liked it when they talked dirty, but she never did it herself.

Finn needed no more encouragement; he raced over to her and gathered her up in his arms, kissing her. The roses fell to the floor. Sam picked them up and set them on her dresser. He glanced over at Finn who was devouring Mercedes' mouth, he then pushed his fingers into her pussy coating them with her essence, when he pulled them out, he sucked them clean as he stared down at her with lust filled eyes.

"It tastes like Sam has been here," Finn said and then he pushed himself inside her, "Hold the vibrator to your clit while I'm working your pussy," he instructed.

Sam stroked his cock, as he watched Finn furiously thrust his hips as he pounded her pussy, his face flushed. Mercedes looked over at Sam and beckoned him over. She grabbed his cock, putting it into her hot mouth, she loved the feeling of his thick shaft gliding between her lips; she gave low guttural moan as she sucked and licked his big cock. She then took the vibrator and pressed it against his balls, Sam gasped and groaned. He shot his load down her throat just as Finn was coming inside her, Mercedes soon followed suit, and cried out with Sam's cock still in her mouth. Finn collapsed on top of her and Sam pulled out of her mouth and kissed her.

"I love you, Mercy," Finn said, nuzzling her neck.

"I love you too," she said, and hugged him close, enjoying the feel of his giant body covering hers.

Finn and Sam kissed, licked, and sucked her tits until she came again, yelling out their names as they held her. Finn ate her cum filled pussy, saying that he loved the taste of all three of them together. Afterwards, they became a tangled mass of bodies: arms and legs twisted together, kissing, loving, holding each other until the tremors in their bodies died down and they were still. Mercedes had never felt so content or so loved.

* * *

**_Angel On My Shoulder_**

Later on that evening, they lay sprawled across her bed, empty cartons of Chinese take out sat on the floor and the television blared in the background. Nobody bothered to put their clothes back on. The bedroom window was open, and a soft, summer breeze blew in. Finn lay with his head in Mercedes' lap. She looked down at him smiling as she tickled his cheek with a rose.

"Thank you for the flowers," she whispered.

He raised himself up and kissed her lips.

"You're welcome, Mercy," then he suddenly remembered Sam's gift and said, "Babe, I have something for you too. I tried to give it to you earlier, but you attacked me downstairs."

Sam was tuning his guitar and he stopped for a moment to respond:

"Try not to look so damn sexy when you come over. Between you and Cedes, I can't control myself."

Finn blushed at Sam's praise. Whenever he or Mercedes complimented him, he would suddenly feel a little shy.

Rachel never had much good to say about him and Quinn only wished that he would change. He went downstairs to get Sam's gift. It was in the pocket of his jeans. When he came back to the bedroom, Mercedes wasn't there.

"Where's our baby?"

"Kurt just called her. He and Blaine had a fight and he's pretty upset. She took the conversation to the guest bedroom because it was getting intense."

"I hope everything works out."

"I'm sure it will, now give me my gift," Sam said grinning at him, his green eyes shined.

"Ok, but you have to put your guitar away, because I want to hold you," Finn said. Sam looked at him curiously and then set his guitar down beside the bed. Finn sat down on the edge of the bed and patted his lap. Sam sat on his lap and Finn wrapped his arms around him, hugging him close, kissing his face and neck, finally settling on his thick lips.

When he pulled away, he said:

"Sam, I love you. And I know you are going through something bad right now, so I thought this might help," Finn handed him a gold necklace with an angel pendant dangling from it. "My Dad gave that to me when I was really little. I used to be afraid of the dark and think that monsters were under my bed. So Dad told me as long

as I had an angel watching over me I would be fine. And whenever I got scared or felt afraid, I would put it on and it calmed me down. It's one of the few things that I have left of him. I want you to have it because you need it more."

Sam's hands trembled as he held the necklace, a few tears slid down his cheeks.

"I can't believe you're giving this to me. Finn, are you sure?"

Finn took the necklace from him, and fastened it around Sam's neck.

"Of course, I'm sure." He then held him close and kissed him, his tongue probing his large mouth. Sam gently broke the kiss, his green eyes wet with tears.

"Finn I love you so much."

Finn smiled and kissed him again.

"I love you too."

They snuggled close together and Sam rested his head on Finn's shoulder. Finn ran his hands through Sam's long hair, enjoying the silky feel of his blonde locks.

"I like you hair long," he said, as he wound a few strands around his finger, "It looks good on you."

Sam turned to look at him.

"Thanks, I like it too and so does Cedes. I'm going to just let it grow."

Finn kissed the top of his head.

"You're beautiful, Sam."

Sam didn't respond; he just pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Finn hoped that what he did helped in some way. Mercedes had told him that the nightmares were still occurring. Just then Mercedes walked into the bedroom, she smiled and said:

"It looks like they made up."

"Great. Now come over here and cuddle with us. I have to go home soon," Finn said reaching for her.

Mercedes obliged and sat down beside him. He wrapped his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. Finn loved having them both so close like this.

"I wish I could spend the night," Finn said.

"Me too," Sam said.

"Sam, what's that necklace you're wearing?" Mercedes asked.

As Sam explained about the necklace, Finn just enjoyed the feel of Mercedes soft, plush body and Sam's hard muscular one pressed against him.

"Finn, you're wonderful, you know that?" Mercedes said and kissed his cheek. Sam did the same. Finn grinned.

"It's no big deal," he said, looking down, hoping he wasn't blushing.

"Before you leave, I want us all to discuss something. I don't know how to say this so I'll just spit it out. Sam, we think you should see a therapist."

Sam's mouth dropped open. His eyes were hurt. Finn felt bad, but he was glad she brought it up.

"Y'all think I'm crazy don't you?"

"We don't think you're crazy. We just think that you need to deal with your past."

"Have I been a burden?" Sam whispered.

Finn felt his heart break. Sam had it all wrong. This was for his own good.

"Babe, you are not a burden. We love you and we think therapy will help you." He kissed his cheek. Mercedes reached out and squeezed Sam's hand.

"Never call yourself a burden. We're in this together."

"Even if I did see a therapist. How could I pay for it? My dad would never agree to something like this."

"We thought of that and since my mom's a doctor I know some of the staff at Lima General Hospital. They have a free counseling clinic there for teens. One of the counselors there is very good and went to medical school with my mom. Her name is Dr. Rosa Price. Your parents don't have to know."

Sam took a deep breath.

"I appreciate what both of you are doing. Believe me, your love is what helps me get up in the morning. But I only feel comfortable talking to you two about my past. I don't know if I could tell a complete stranger. Just let me think about it, ok?"

"Sure, and when you think you are ready we will go with you, right Mercy?" Finn said.

"Yes, we can go together," Mercedes responded.

"I love you both so much, never in my life have I ever had anybody care about me as much as the two of you," Sam said.

The three of them embraced. Finn felt like praying, but he wasn't sure what to say. So they just sat there holding each other; and Finn swore he could hear their hearts beating together. Then Mercedes broke the silence.

"Let's give Finn a proper farewell, since he has to leave soon," Mercedes said to Sam.

Sam nodded.

"Good idea, Cedes."

They pushed Finn back onto the bed. Then both of them were showering his face with kisses, next came his neck where each of them left tiny love bites, then they made their way down to his chest and they sucked his nipples. As they continued their journey southward, Finn had to stop them; their lips on his skin felt awesome, but if they got any closer to his cock, he would never leave and miss his curfew.

"Mercy, Sam, guys, this feels awesome, but you better stop. I won't want to leave."

"That's kinda the point," Mercedes said as she dipped her tongue into his belly button.

He quickly sat up before things got more heated. Sam and Mercedes laughed. It was such a wonderful sound to Finn – their laughter. He pulled them close and gave each of them a long good-bye kiss, whispering how much he loved them in their ears. They walked downstairs together where he retrieved his clothes and quickly dressed. He hugged and kissed them again.

"Please call us as soon as you get home so that we know that you're safe," Mercedes said, looking up at him with her pretty brown eyes. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Ok, mom," he said smiling at her.

Sam kissed his cheek.

"We worry about you, just like you worry about us."

"I know and I promise to call," Finn said as he headed out the door. Sam and Mercedes stood in the doorway; their arms wrapped around each other, and watched him drive away.

* * *

**End Notes:** Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

**Summary: **Finn has a heart to heart with Burt; Mercedes tells Santana of her troubles with Sam; Sam has a breakdown

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Strong Language. Disturbing Themes (mental breakdown) This chapter is very dark and sad, but remains hopeful. Thank you all for your reviews; your thoughts are always appreciated and motivate me to tell the most honest story possible.

* * *

**_Fixing Broken People_**

"Burt, can we talk?" Finn asked his stepfather. They were taking a late afternoon break and they sat on a bench in the garage drinking bottled water and listening to Burt's favorite oldies station; the song My Girl played softly in the background. Burt closed his eyes and sang along in his off-key voice:

_I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day_

_When it's cold outside, I got the month of May..._

"This song reminds me of your Mom," he said and took a sip of water, then he asked, "What did you want to talk about?"

"It's Sam. He's going through some stuff right now."

"What kind of stuff if you don't mind my asking?"

"Well his Dad used to abuse him really bad when he was a just a kid; he doesn't beat him anymore, but it's messed Sam up in the head. He was also sexually assaulted by a preacher."

"My God – that's awful. How come his mother isn't doing anything?" Burt asked shaking his head.

"I don't know. Me and Mercy are trying to get him to go to therapy and he says he'll think about it. I just feel like he needs something more than we can give. I feel so helpless. I want to fix things the way we fix carburetors or mufflers. I want to help Mercy too. I don't like how she sees herself. I just want Sam to get through the night without waking up screaming, and I want Mercy to see a beautiful girl when she looks in the mirror. Burt, I can't fix them," Finn said, and tears fell down his cheeks.

Burt took a drink of water and sighed.

"You know, Finn, I don't know what's happened to you but you are turning out to be a remarkable young man. But son, you try to fix people and its you who becomes broken. First they have to know that they have a problem and want to change; you can only be there for them and love them, encourage them, hell even cry with them, which I see you've been doing. I know you feel helpless, yet there is only so much you can do. I think that was wise that you two suggested therapy. And as for Mercedes feeling good about herself, you keep on telling her that she's beautiful even when she's just in jeans and a t-shirt. A beauty like hers isn't always appreciated, though it should be. You know, Kurt's mom was a big woman."

"Really?"

"Yep and I loved her until the day she died. I told her that she was gorgeous every day. Once when Kurt was around 4 years old he asked me: 'Why do you tell Mommy she's pretty all the time? And I said, cause she needs to know, and the then he looked at me and said, 'You mean she _still_ doesn't know? When is she going to figure it out? I had to laugh at that. But after a while I think she believed me."

Finn smiled. He could never picture Kurt as a little boy; he always thought he came out of the womb choosing china patterns and giving advice on where to buy the best designer knock offs. He pressed the bottle cap into the palm of his hand and said:

"I'll just keep being there for them. You know I really love them, right?"

"There's not a doubt in my mind that you do. I see how the three of you look at each other. Not even Kurt and Blaine share looks like that. Your mother and I love Sam and Mercedes, but we are still worried about how you three are treated. Just like I worry about Kurt and Blaine as a young gay couple - especially after that mess with Karofsky. Have you had any other problems? I remember what happened with my former friend."

Finn's mind flashed to the incident in Lima Park. But he didn't want to talk about that for some reason.

"Sometimes when either me or Sam are holding Mercy's hand, people will just stare - it's weird. Like they're trying to figure out why we're together. It's not like me and Sam are holding hands though I wish we could."

"I know this sounds harsh but you're just going to have to deal with it. I can't stress enough that I want you to be careful, ok?"

Finn nodded.

"Ok"

Burt finished his water and put his arm around him.

"And one more thing, Finn."

"What's that?"

"Please don't forget to be a teenager. This is some pretty heavy stuff you're taking on and, Finn, you gotta enjoy this time of your life while you can. I understand you're in love with two wonderful people, but I want you to go out and have fun, being an adult is no picnic."

"I will. I promise."

Burt gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze and the two sat in silence listening to Chubby Checker do the twist.

Later on that evening, Finn sat in his room poring over pictures of the three of them together; Santana had taken a lot of them. It surprised Finn that she was such a good photographer, but then a lot of things surprised him about her since they all became friends. Santana was actually nice after you broke through and found her soft side beneath the bitchy exterior. He was choosing the best pictures of Mercedes and putting them in an album for her; he thought this might help her see just how beautiful she was. One picture he liked in particular was of Mercedes feeding birthday cake to Santana's 2-year old niece named Maria who had Down's syndrome. Santana had a birthday party for the little girl in the backyard of her house in Lima Heights. Finn felt leery about going to the party because he didn't know Santana's family very well, but she assured him that it was just going to be her, Brittany, her brother and a few close friends. She never mentioned her parents.

As it turned out they had a good time and Mercedes bonded with Maria. In the picture Mercedes is laughing, and holding a pink slice of cake up to Maria's mouth; she wore a red sundress, and one of the straps was falling down her shoulder. Finn always loved her in that dress because it hugged her wide hips. There was also a picture of Sam that he liked too. He held Maria on his lap, a Dora The Explorer party hat sat on his head, his hair was in a messy blonde ponytail, and Maria is clapping her hands and smiling. Sam looked so happy as he grinned at the camera – he loved kids. Just then there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Come in," he said.

The door opened and Kurt walked in, wearing his green silk pajamas and holding a cup of tea.

"What are you up to?" Kurt asked pointing to the pictures spread out on Finn's desk.

"Oh, just a little something I'm putting together for Mercy," Finn said, not explaining anything more.

Kurt nodded and sat on his bed and then he spotted a book on the floor and picked it up, reading the title aloud:

"Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse. Oh God, Finn, did something happen to you when you were little?"

Finn turned away from the desk to face him.

"Dude, calm down. Nothing happened to me. Something happened to Sam and I want to help him. I don't want to go into details but he was raped."

Kurt gasped and almost dropped his teacup, his eyes filled with tears.

"Finn, I'm so sorry, poor Sam. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, not really except that sometimes I need to talk to someone who isn't an adult about this. Mercy is in too deep because she's part of our relationship so I need an outside person, would you be willing?"

"Of course. I'm a great listener, you know that."

"You're also a great brother, thanks, Kurt."

"No problem. I think Sam is a awesome guy and I'm glad that you and Mercedes are in a relationship with him."

"Really? I was always a little worried since you used to have a thing for him."

Kurt waved his hand as if that was all ancient history.

"Yeah, well, that's in the past. I see how much you all love each other and I've made peace with it. Besides I have someone pretty spectacular so I'm good."

"By the way, I know you guys made up but what was that fight about?" Finn asked.

"Ok, I was jealous of his hunky ex-boyfriend who he is still in contact with. He looks like a model and well… I don't know; I let my insecurity get the best of me. I feel silly now. Blaine loves me."

**"**I understand how you feel. Remember how I was dieting and acting crazy because I thought I wasn't measuring up to Sam?"

Kurt nodded and sipped his tea.

"How did you get over that?"

"Mercedes and Sam convinced me that they loved me just as I was. Then we had some really hot sex," Finn said laughing at the expression on Kurt's face. Kurt was still rather prudish discussing sex.

"Ok, Finn, TMI!"

"Sorry, Kurt, but that's what happened," Finn said, still chuckling. Kurt got up from the bed and peered over Finn's shoulder, gazing down at all of the pictures. He pointed to the one with Sam holding Maria on his lap.

"What's going on with Sam's hair?"

"What do you mean?" Finn asked, getting a little defensive.

"What I mean is that it's getting really long."

"Me and Mercy like it long and so does Sam. I think he looks great," Finn said. Finn also loved running his hands through Sam's hair when all three of them were making love.

"Hmmm, well to each his own. I think it's a little too bohemian for my taste, but he's still quite the looker," he paused for a moment then said, "Blaine wants us all to go out to dinner to a really expensive restaurant. Don't worry he's footing the bill because he's angry at his Dad."

Finn was confused.

"Huh?"

"I'll explain later. Right now I have to do my moisturizing regimen. I'll get back to you on when we want to go, ok?"

"Sure, thing, goodnight Kurt."

"Goodnight."

Finn went back to work sorting the pictures. He thought about what Burt said about being a teenager and knew that this dinner with Blaine would be what they all needed.

* * *

**_Nobody Should Dance Alone_**

"So how are things in the polyamorous paradise?" Santana asked Mercedes. They sat on the floor of Bertha Blue's Dance Studio watching Brittany teach octogenarians how to waltz. Occasionally, Santana would snap pictures with her digital camera. They got fired from Dirty Dan's because somebody found out they were underage. At first Santana was really angry and threatened to do bodily harm to whomever squealed, but then she got over it.

"Things are good," Mercedes said, hoping she sounded like everything was fine. She leaned against the wall and sighed. Sam was getting worse and now he refused to sleep.

_"Cedes, I'm ok. I don't need much sleep." It was two o'clock in the morning and he stood in the kitchen, his face smudged with flour; he was mixing dough for biscuits._

_"Baby, come back to bed. The biscuits can wait."_

_"I'm fine."_

_"No, please, can't you just –"_

_"Leave me alone, I can handle this!"_

The floor was dusty. Blue light fixtures in the shape of clouds hung from the ceiling. Large fans blew gusts of air onto the geriatric dancers, causing their silver coiffed hair to get mussed. The A/C was broken and Miss Bertha couldn't afford to get it repaired. Brittany grinned into the face of a short, liver spotted man with a hearing aid.

"You're doing good, Wilbur!" she shouted above the music. He smiled up at her, and nodded. Her pink skirt swished around her long, lean legs and her heels clicked against the floor.

Mercedes watched at how Santana stared at her girlfriend. Her large dark eyes appeared hypnotized as she followed Brittany's every movement. Suddenly she turned to Mercedes and said:

"Britt always smells like cotton candy. I don't know why, but she does."

"Oh, does she? Mercedes said, giving her friend a nudge. Santana laughed.

"Ok, I got it bad."

"So Miss Big Bad Santana from Lima Heights Adjacent finally admits she's whipped."

"Tell anybody and I'll cut you. I always got a blade, you know."

Mercedes laughed. Just then Miss Bertha came over to them carrying a plate of frosted brownies. She was a short, round, woman with sturdy calves and bright red hair that she kept in a beehive hairdo. Nobody had the heart to tell her 1965 was a long time ago.

"How's my favorite girls? Have a brownie, my sister made them this morning. Lord knows we can't eat them all!" She smiled at them, revealing her gold tooth.

Santana and Mercedes eagerly took a few brownies from the plate.

"Thanks, Miss Bertha," they said in unison.

"Why don't you two get out there and dance? Cut in and make those old geezers feel like they're at least 60."

"Oh, I'm fine just watching," Mercedes said as she bit into a brownie. It was so good she moaned; Miss Bertha's sister had added toffee chips and caramel.

"Well, I do hope you change your mind. Besides poor Milton doesn't even have a partner," she said pointing to the tall man in the back of the studio. He swayed to the music alone, a sad smile on his wrinkled face.

"Miss Bertha, we don't know how to waltz," Santana said while licking the fudge frosting off of her fingers.

"Who cares? They're only here to get out of that retirement home for an hour or so. They just love Brittany, she's such a doll."

"Yeah, she is," Santana said and glanced over at her. Now Brittany was helping an old woman fix the yellow bow in her hair; the woman smiled at her gratefully, her gnarled hands clutched a cane.

Miss Bertha patted them on the head.

"Well, girls, I have to do some book keeping," she said and trotted off to the office across the hall. After they finished eating their brownies, Santana turned to Mercedes and said:

"So, are you gonna cut the bullshit and tell me what's wrong?"

Mercedes stared down at her hands and said quietly:

"Sam's not doing well. He won't sleep and – I don't know, things are just not good right now."

Santana was pissed.

"What? He still hasn't gotten help? After all you have done for his ass?"

"Santana, please. I don't know what to do. At first when we suggested he get help, he said he would think about it and he told us that he loved us for caring so much but then last week, he started getting weird."

"Not that he isn't already weird," Santana spit out.

Mercedes narrowed her eyes at Santana, but she just shrugged.

"Sorry, Wheezy, but your man _is_ weird. Nobody speaks Navi. It is the fictional language of giant blue aliens."

Mercedes had to chuckle; she knew this was how Santana comforted her friends. She made cutting remarks that were truthful but made you smile a little inside. Santana put her arm around her.

"How is he behaving?"

"He's pretending that everything is fine but it isn't; his panic attacks have increased and he hates leaving the house. He bakes at all hours of the night. I have more bread and biscuits than I know what to do with. He _never_ sleeps because of the nightmares. And he'll sit in the back yard for hours doing nothing. Santana, we're losing him and I'm scared." Mercedes said, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Listen to me, you aren't losing him. He just needs to realize that you were right in telling him to see a therapist. I think he feels he can handle this on his own."

"I know, but how do I do that? Stage an intervention?"

"No, you should withhold sex. Never underestimate the power of pussy."

"Santana!"

Santana held up her hands and said:

"Ok, a little extreme, but I still don't think it's a bad idea. You and Finn have to convince him that he can't go on like this. Maybe sit down with him in a non-confrontational way, don't judge him just tell him that you love him and this is for the best."

"We tried that but I guess there's no harm in trying again. It's hard to watch someone you love fall apart."

Santana gave her a reassuring hug and said, "Things will get better, I swear. And don't forget Brittany and I are here for you guys too. You may have weirdest relationship I've ever seen but you all love each other and I don't want that ruined."

At that moment, Brittany came over to them.

"Is everything ok?"

Mercedes wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm fine, Britt. You know what? Do you mind if I dance with Milton? I see that he doesn't have a partner."

Brittany's face brightened.

"Of course, and you can dance too, San. I need a break cause Wilbur has a lot of energy."

Santana rolled her eyes. Charity was not her thing. But she loved Brittany.

"Ok, what the hell. I may even let him cop a feel."

Milton was so tall that it strained Mercedes' neck to look up at him; he had piercing blue eyes and his white hair was slicked back with pomade. The Vienna Waltz played on the stereo system and Mercedes tried her best to copy Milton's movements without much success but he appeared to be enjoying himself. He smiled down at her and said:

"Don't waste your tears on that boy, you're crying over."

"How did you know I was crying over a boy?"

"You don't get to be my age without knowing a thing or two."

"Well, I love him and I don't think my tears are wasted," Mercedes responded.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you. It' just that you are too young and pretty to have the world on your shoulders."

She only nodded and patted his chest.

So on that hot summer afternoon, with a fan blowing full blast on her skin, Mercedes waltzed in a dusty dance studio with artificial clouds hanging overhead. As Milton attempted to twirl her, she thought of Sam's gentle touch and his pensive green eyes and her heart cracked in the center, but she kept dancing anyway, because nobody should dance alone.

When the class ended, Brittany gave hugs to all of her students, telling them how well they did that day.

"Next time, we tango!" She shouted cheerfully and then bounced over to Santana, who had just broken free from Wilbur's tight hold. Without hesitation or even caring who saw, she grabbed Santana's face and kissed her lips.

"I love you," she said. Santana's cheeks grew rosy and she laid her head on Brittany's shoulder.

As Mercedes was saying good-bye to Milton, she looked over and saw Finn standing in the doorway, holding a bouquet of roses. He loved to bring her roses. Milton winked at her and she smiled. She walked over to Finn and he pulled her into a hug.

"We'll get through this," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too. And Sam loves us."

"I know but right now it feels like that's not enough."

Finn only hugged her tighter and Mercedes got strength from his touch.

* * *

**_The First Step_**

When Sam first kissed Mercedes underneath the stars on Prom night, she tilted her head, staring up at him with doubt in her eyes, and he leaned down, his hair falling against his forehead and pressed his lips to hers, she gasped and her body tensed a little, but Sam didn't ease up, he wanted her and this was happening as far as he was concerned. Because Sam Evans never loved halfway: he was never almost there, or just a step away, he was boldly walking through your front door, claiming your heart. So that's how it was for them at the beginning**_…_**

Then someone else entered his heart. A boy named Finn. There was no explosive first kiss. Instead there were tiny moments, like brushed fingertips, lingering hugs, and a shared smile because they loved the same girl. It was slow-motion love and just as wonderful. And he fell just as hard. Now the three were joined, forever linked. Of course it was strange, so strange that sometimes he wondered if he was in the middle of a dream. He wanted to keep that dream and his notion of forever with them waking up together in a big bed in a house filled with children and love, that mythical place where music always played, dinner was crowded and noisy, and the porch swing creaked as he swung back and forth, drifting to and fro, his husband and wife beside him.

Now he sat in her backyard, trying to get the image of blood out of his mind; Mercedes came outside to join him, bringing her radio. He wore the same clothes he had been wearing for a week - they were so comfortable like warm socks on a cold night, that he saw no point in changing them. His hair hung in greasy clumps and he smelled; the odor was something else he was used to like his dirty clothes and again it was the familiar he clung to: his filth and unwashed skin. Besides, he could stop time if he stopped living. But somehow those things didn't matter. In her eyes he was still that prince on Prom night, asking her to dance. Sam wondered if she was real. Is this real? He asked himself as she stood before him, her face in a serene smile, her hands reaching out to him.

"Angel," he whispered as she coaxed him up from the lawn chair and he and Mercedes danced with the sprinklers spraying on them, rainbows slashed through the mist and he just held her, not even knowing the song on the radio – it was something about love and regret, and his girl just smiled, moving against him slowly.

"Why are we dancing?" he asked. He wanted to know why they were dancing in the sunshine when all he felt was a heavy darkness inside of him. He could feel her a little bit, could she feel him?

"I'm trying to get you back." Mercedes whispered.

But the pools of blood were still there, they came with the rainbows and he choked a little as she held him. He wished the blood would wash away… why did its stain have to last forever? He cried on her shoulder, letting the tears flow onto her red shirt.

"I'm used up Cedes," he said, "I'm all used up. I got nothing left."

Mercedes let him cry.

Later that day Finn came over when Mercedes was out grocery shopping. Sam stayed home. There were too many people in the grocery store, too many eyes to deal with. He called Mr. Chang and said he was sick and then he started making bread. Finn had a key to the house and came right in. Sam wasn't surprised to see Finn standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at him with tears in his eyes.

"Don't cry Finn, I'm fine," Sam said and kneaded the dough. "Did you hurt yourself, babe?"

Finn shook his head and just stood there. Why was Finn so still? Sam wondered as he squeezed the dough between his pale fingers, its yeasty aroma tickled his nostrils. He thought of his dead grandmother and how her wrinkled hands looked kneading dough, all ruddy and swollen but somehow beautiful. He missed his grandmother. He missed everything.

"My grandmother is dead," Sam said, not looking up from the table. "I didn't go to the funeral. I couldn't see her dead."

Finn remained silent. Sam kept talking.

"I never said good-bye. Do you think I can go say good-bye?"

"Sam, please stop for a moment. Why don't you sit down and rest?"

Sam looked up at him. Finn was such a handsome boy. And Cedes was beautiful, but wait where was Cedes? He couldn't remember. They were dancing, weren't they just dancing?

"Where's Cedes?"

"Babe, she went to the grocery store. Please sit down."

"I don't like grocery stores. People look at you and point. When will she be back? You should go get her and bring her back. She's all alone."

Finn walked over to Sam and put his hand on his shoulder. Sam noticed how Finn's face grimaced slightly when he got closer to him; it must be my skin, Sam thought, you have to get used to my skin.

"Sam, you need a break, look, babe, your hands are shaking."

"Do you still love me and Cedes?"

"Yes, with all my heart."

"Good, because we love you too. And now I have to finish this bread."

Finn waved his arms and said:

"Look around, Sam, we have enough bread."

Golden loaves of bread crowded the counter, the stovetop, on top of the refrigerator, and even the windowsill. The kitchen looked like a bakery. Sam felt his heart stop and then he couldn't breathe. He sat down, feeling dizzy.

"I need water," he whispered.

Finn brought him a glass of water and Sam gulped it down. He took the empty glass from him and eased him up from the chair.

"Come with me Sam," he said gently.

Sam followed Finn upstairs where he took him to the bathroom. He drew a bath for him, and undressed him. Sam stood there, limp as a rag doll. Finn was being so kind to him and Sam cried quietly as he pushed him into the warm bath water.

"It's ok, Sam, I'm not going anywhere and neither is Mercy," he said as he rubbed soap onto the washcloth and gently began washing his body.

Sam was still. The soap smelled sweet. The bathwater quickly turned gray. Finn then put a blob of shampoo into his greasy hair and massaged it into his itchy scalp. He got a cup from the bathroom sink and filled it with water.

"Babe, close your eyes," he said as he poured the water over his head, and continued the task of washing his long, blonde hair. Sam enjoyed the feeling of Finn's large fingers, digging into his scalp. Then he heard the front door open.

"Cedes is home. Please go get her. I haven't seen her for a long time."

"Sam just let me – "

"Please?" Sam pleaded.

Finn obliged.

"Ok, but don't move, Sam."

Finn left and Sam just sat there, his skin looked different somehow, more rosy. A few moments later, Mercedes stood before him.

"Baby, I'm here," she said and knelt beside the tub. Sam reached for her and hugged her against him, "Cedes, I love you. I was scared when you left."

"Don't ever be afraid. I'm always coming back." Mercedes whispered and hugged him. Sam looked up and saw Finn standing over them crying.

Together they finished his bath and they dried him off with a big, fluffy towel. Sam clung to them for dear life. Then Finn and Mercedes put him in bed, covering him with the comforter. They lay on either side of him until he fell asleep.

When Sam woke up, he didn't know what day it was. He had vague memories of Finn and Mercedes touching his face, warm liquid sliding down his throat, and angel's voice singing him lullabies… He pushed the comforter back and sighed. His head ached a little. Then he heard voices outside the door.

"He just needed rest, so I let him sleep. Finn, I don't know if we still need to go to the hospital." It was Mercedes. She was talking on the phone.

Sam couldn't hear anything after that; her voice dropped lower. Then he heard her say:

"Stacey's treatment is taking longer than they thought. His mother called Sam and let him know they would be in Columbus for at least 2 more weeks."

_Stacey. _Sam had not thought of his little sister in a long time. He felt guilty. Here she was fighting for her life getting all kinds of needles and he was… what exactly was he doing? His head felt fuzzy. He got out of bed and opened her nightstand drawer. He stared at the business card for Dr. Rosa Price. Mercedes gave it to him, telling him that when he was ready he could make the call. Finn encouraged him to think about it and both said that they would go with him. So why was he so scared? Then he knew why: he couldn't face the truth. There was still a lot that they didn't know. He touched the angel pendant around his neck.

"Mercedes!" he yelled.

The bedroom door flew open and she raced in.

"Baby, are you ok?" Mercedes asked. Sam got up and hugged her, smelling the cocoa butter lotion on her skin.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Off and on for three days. Sam, you were exhausted. You hadn't slept in almost a week. I tried so hard to get you to sleep but you wouldn't do it and then Finn came over and - " She started crying.

Sam held her.

"Cedes, I'm so sorry. I can't go on like this. I won't do this to you and Finn anymore. I want to get better not only for you but for myself. I'm scared as hell, but I'm going to call Dr. Price. Would you mind sitting here with me when I do it?"

She looked at him and nodded, tears streaming down her face.

He picked up his cell phone from the nightstand and dialed her number, his hand shook; Mercedes squeezed his shoulder.

"Breathe," she said.

He kissed her cheek and took a deep breath. Dr. Price answered on the third ring.

"Hello, is this Dr. Rosa Price?"

"Yes"

"Hi, my name is Sam Evans and uh, I need to –" he couldn't get the words out. Mercedes rubbed circles on his back.

"I'm here," she whispered, "I'm always here."

"Hello? Sam? Are you still there?"

"Sorry, ma'am, I uh, I need to get counseling for some problems."

Sam looked at Mercedes; she was smiling through her tears.

* * *

**End Notes:** Again, thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

**Summary: **Sam has his first session with Dr. Price and tells her a secret about his past; Mercedes and Finn have an argument about how she always refuses help

**Rating: **Mature

**Warning:** There are some very dark and disturbing elements to this chapter but there is also lots of hope and love. Please be advised that there is a disturbing violent scene in a flashback sequence involving weapons and attempted murder and descriptions of child abuse. Strong sexual content. Strong language. Please use your discretion when reading. **_THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS!_**

* * *

**_Everything Is Too Close_**

Sam took a deep breath and chewed his bottom lip until a small trickle of blood formed and he quickly licked it away. It was raining and he pressed his hand against the cool glass of the car window. His stomach was nauseous; he glanced at his reflection in the mirror and saw red patches of eczema on his cheeks. Everything was quiet except for the faint swishing of the windshield wipers. He felt Finn's arm tighten around him; he had insisted on sitting in the backseat with Sam to keep an eye on him. Sam stared at the back of Mercedes' head, her hair was in a simple French braid with a purple ribbon tied at the end; Sam reached up and tugged her braid.

"Why didn't you wear your hair out?"

"Sweetie, I just wanted to do something different," Mercedes said shrugging her shoulders.

"I like the braid but I miss the Afro," Sam said.

Mercedes chuckled. "Don't worry, the Afro isn't gone."

For some reason, Sam felt better when she said that. The three of them were on their way to Lima General Hospital for his first appointment with Dr. Price; she had been extremely nice on the phone, even insisting that he call her Rosa. She felt like an old friend, which was why Sam spoke with her for over an hour before even making an appointment. Between sobbing and talking, he told her how he was falling apart. Mercedes was by his side, clutching his hand, and he was so damn grateful that she loved him, despite his craziness and pain, this girl loved him… he had hope, a tiny flame in his belly that spread a little warmth through the cold darkness.

"You could've sat up front with Cedes. I'm fine." Sam said as he rested his head on Finn's shoulder.

Finn looked at him.

"Sam, we love you and what happened really scared us; so let me hold you, ok?"

Sam gazed into Finn's hazel eyes and kissed him softly on his lips.

"I'm sorry I scared you."

"Just get better," Finn said.

Nobody said anything. Sam touched Mercedes' shoulder.

"You look beautiful, Cedes," Sam said.

"Thank you," she replied as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. Her cheeks grew red and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Sam loved that he could make her blush. She wore a purple blouse and faded jeans; he always liked her in purple because it looked so pretty against her smooth brown skin.

"Do you think we should get a wheelchair?" Finn asked Mercedes as they got out of the car. She was opening her big, black umbrella even though the rain had turned into a light, misty drizzle.

"That's not a bad idea," Mercedes said.

"Guys, I'm not paralyzed, I can walk," Sam said as he grabbed Mercedes' hand.

"Yeah, but you're moving kind of slow," Finn pointed out.

"Dude, I just woke up, you would move slow too."

But Finn ignored him and he went and got a wheelchair, bringing it back to the car. And after much protest from Sam, they convinced him it was for the best and he sat in the chair.

"I can't believe this," Sam said, holding his hands over his eyes as Finn wheeled him into the emergency room. They were going there first because Dr. Price wanted to be certain that he was ok after Sam told her about his exhaustion. Sam insisted that he was fine, but Dr. Price wanted to be on the safe side.

They sat in the crowded waiting room, crammed into the uncomfortable gray chairs. Sam refused to stay in the wheelchair. The smell of disinfectant and mildew made his stomach churn. The bright fluorescent lights hurt his eyes and the constant squeaking of wet shoes on the shiny floor bothered his ears – it was as if the sound grew louder with each person that walked by. The room grew smaller and the white walls closed in on him. He clenched his teeth and tried to breathe. Mercedes reached for his hand.

"Sam, are you ok?" She whispered.

He nodded.

"I'm ok, I just forgot how crowded it gets." Sam didn't let go of her hand, but held it firmly in his own. His breathing slowly returned to normal.

There was much activity swirling around them. A man in a torn yellow raincoat was yelling at the triage nurse because he and his wife had been waiting for three hours; the frazzled nurse tried to calm him down, but he only got louder. A woman sitting across from them with frizzy red hair and a nicotine patch on her freckled shoulder held a crying baby girl to her chest; the baby wailed continuously as she tried to soothe her. Sam felt the baby's cries vibrate through his body. _Why did he have to feel everything?_ He attempted to read an old issue of Reader's Digest, but the words kept running together and with his anxiety and dyslexia, nothing made sense. Finn tapped his foot against the floor, his eyes darting about.

"Babe, calm down, you're making me nervous tapping your foot like that," Sam said, his voice low.

"Sorry," Finn mumbled and without thinking leaned over and kissed Sam on the lips. A few people glanced in their direction. The woman with the crying baby raised her eyebrows.

"Looks like we have an audience," Mercedes murmured, squeezing Sam's shoulder.

He smiled and shrugged.

"We'll always have an audience."

The three of them looked at each other and laughed. Sam pulled them into a hug. After two hours, they finally called his name. Finn and Mercedes were about to walk back to the examination area with him, but the young nurse stopped them.

"Are you family?"

Sam held Finn and Mercedes' hands and said to the nurse:

"Yes, they're my family."

He could tell the nurse wanted to say something, but decided not to. After a few awkward moments of silence, the nurse sighed and said:

"Follow me," and she took them to the examination area where rows of beds were separated by curtains. In the middle of the second row, she pulled back the curtain.

"Undress and put this on," she said to Sam, avoiding his eyes as she handed him a green hospital gown. She then scurried away mumbling that a doctor would be there shortly.

"Do you want us to leave while you change?" Mercedes asked.

"No, you've both seen everything I got," Sam said as he pulled his T-shirt over his head.

After he finished changing, he rested on the bed with Finn and Mercedes on either side of him. They talked and joked together and Sam held their hands close to his heart. Mercedes stroked his cheek and asked:

"Are we really your family?"

"Yes, of course you are. You're more like a family to me than the one I have." She kissed him.

"Are you still scared?"

"More than you know."

"You'll get through this," Finn said.

Sam only nodded. Getting through would be the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. But he had Mercedes and Finn beside him, and he hoped he would make it.

* * *

**_Meeting Rosa_**

When the ER doctor was finished with his examination, he found nothing serious except that Sam was anemic. He prescribed high potency iron pills and a special cream for his eczema, since it was flaring up again, and he put him on bed rest for the rest of the week. The nausea was most likely a side effect of his panic attacks. After he was dressed, they went to Dr. Price's office on the fifth floor of the hospital. Sam had been in high spirits until the elevator chimed and the doors slid open. It suddenly became real – he was going to see a therapist. He gripped Mercedes' hand.

"I want to go home. I can't do this."

"Sam, there's nothing to be afraid of. We'll be right outside of her office. Please, you've come so far. Remember how nice she was on the phone?"

Finn put his arm around him.

"Don't forget that we love you and we're in this together."

They walked to the waiting area. Sam told the front desk receptionist that he had an appointment with Dr. Price. She smiled brightly at him.

"Oh yes, Dr. Price will be with you shortly. She's running a little behind. You and your friends may have a seat."

More waiting. Sam sighed and sat down, clutching the arms of the chair as he stared at an oil painting of trees in a meadow. Nobody said anything. Every now and then, Sam felt either Finn or Mercedes squeeze his hand or touch his shoulder. He calmed down after awhile, but he was still anxious to begin.

Suddenly, the receptionist said, "Sam, Dr. Price is ready for you, you may go to her office. It is the last one on the left."

Sam rose from the chair slowly; he looked back at Mercedes and Finn who got up too. The three of them embraced, and Sam tried hard not to cry. The receptionist took notice of the situation and got up from the desk.

"Sam, dear, it's ok, your friends will be here when you get back. Dr. Price won't do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Come on, I'll walk back with you." The receptionist took his hand and led him to her office; she was so kind that it surprised Sam, but then he figured that she was probably used to crazy teenagers.

When they got to her office, Dr. Price was standing in the doorway, smiling. She was a pretty, dark skinned black woman; she was quite tall and she reminded Sam of the model Alek Wek. Shiny silver earrings dangled from her ears and she wore a long, white sundress, her feet were bare and her toes were painted with bright red nail polish. She grabbed both of Sam's hands and sandwiched them between her own.

"Sam, it's so nice to meet you in person, come on in, you'll have to excuse the mess, I'm trying to rearrange my office," she said and then turned to the receptionist, "Thanks for bringing him back Peggy."

"No problem," Peggy said, and gave Sam's shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving, closing the door behind her.

Her office was indeed messy: boxes that were overflowing with papers were stacked against the walls. Piles of medical journals were in disarray on the floor. Her desk was cluttered with files, books, and the remains of a half eaten salad in a plastic bowl.

"Have a seat," she said gesturing toward the bright orange couch. A purple recliner was beside it. Sam guessed that she would be sitting in the recliner. He walked over to the couch, stepping over the boxes and magazines; when he sat down, he let out a breath he had not realized he was holding. The couch was comfortable and he sank back into the plump cushions. He suddenly touched the angel pendant around his neck.

Dr. Price sat in the recliner. Her dark eyes fell upon the necklace and she said:

"That's a cool necklace. My sister collects angels."

"Thanks," Sam said, looking into her eyes; Dr. Price was completely relaxed.

"So, Sam, tell me how you are feeling right at this moment."

Sam shrugged.

"I guess I feel kind of scared, you know. I mean I know we talked and all and you were so nice to me on the phone, but now this all seems so –"

"So real?"

Sam nodded.

"Yes, that's right. It's real and it's close and I'm afraid. But I can't go back to where I was. I don't want to put Cedes and Finn through that again."

"Who are Cedes and Finn?"

At first Sam did not want to tell her, what if Dr. Price thought he was bad for being in the kind of relationship he was in? He really needed her help and he liked her. He stared down at the cream colored carpet.

"Sam?"

"I'm sorry but I don't want to tell you."

"Why?"

Sam looked up. Her eyes were studying him carefully; there was no judgment or malice in them, only concern. _Shecares;shewantstohelpme…_

"Cedes and Finn are my girlfriend and boyfriend. The three of us are in a relationship together. Do you think that's bad?" Normally, Sam wouldn't have cared, but for some reason he wanted Dr. Price's approval.

Much to his relief, she shook her head, her earrings swinging with each movement.

"No, I don't think that's bad and I'm not here to judge you. I find it highly unusual and not to mention unconventional. Would you like to tell me about them?"

Sam smiled. This was going better than he thought.

"Yes. They're like two of the most awesome people you would ever want to meet. Cedes is not only beautiful but she's smart and she loves me of all people. She's the most giving person in the universe. And Finn is kind, handsome, and just a good guy. I love them very much. One day we're all going to be together and raise a family."

Sam waited for Dr. Price to tell him that he was stupid for thinking he could raise a family with his girlfriend and boyfriend but she only nodded and listened.

So Sam kept talking:

"When I lost it last week, they were the ones who took care of me. I put them through hell. I feel so bad about that. They encouraged me to get help and Finn gave me this necklace. Oh, Cedes told me you went to medical school with her mother."

"Who is her mother?"

"Dr. Grace Jones," Sam replied.

Dr. Price put her hand to her forehead and laughed.

"I get it now. Cedes is Mercedes Jones. Yes I knew her mother in medical school though we weren't close. Peggy told me a young woman stopped by to get my business card awhile ago."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, that was my girlfriend."

"It sounds like you have two remarkable, loving people looking out for you."

"I do, and I'm so grateful that I have them in my life."

Dr. Price leaned forward in her chair.

"Sam, are you only getting therapy because they prompted you to or are you doing this for yourself?"

Sam thought for a moment then said:

"It's partly because they encouraged me to, but I'm really doing this for myself."

"Good answer. You have to want to get better. Now have you experienced any panic attacks today?

"A few small ones but Finn and Cedes helped me through them and I was ok after a few minutes."

"What did they do?"

"They put their arms around me and rubbed my back. When they touch me, I just feel better."

"Would you be willing to take medication if I prescribed it?"

"Will it make me act weird?"

Dr. Price laughed.

"No, the side effects don't include weirdness, but there are others."

"Ok, I'll try it." Sam reasoned that it couldn't be any worse than what he was feeling and Finn and Mercedes couldn't always be around to help him. He then reached into his back pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

"Remember how we talked on the phone and I told you a little bit of what happened to me?"

She nodded. "Yes, I remember."

"Well this is an article that was in my hometown paper. It's about what happened to me. Finn looked it up online and printed it out. I can't tell you the full story yet because- " he stopped for a moment and then continued, "let's just say it's going to take me awhile. I told most of it to Finn and Cedes. I haven't read the article. It hurts too much. But I thought it was something you would need to see."

Dr. Price took the paper from his hand and read it. He saw tears come to her eyes but she quickly blinked them away.

"That's fine Sam. And there's something I want you to remember."

"What's that?"

"When we spoke earlier, you kept saying that it was your fault and that you were stupid to have let something like that happen. First you were an innocent little boy and you were attacked, nothing about that is your fault. Secondly, you are not stupid. Nothing about you is stupid. You are worth something and you do _matter_."

He looked out her office window. It was raining harder now.

"My Dad doesn't beat me anymore. But why does everything still hurt? I can still feel his belt on my skin. Sometimes he used an extension cord; I don't know which was worse."

"There's a lot of emotional pain that you need to deal with; that's why it hurts," Dr. Price responded.

Sam didn't say anything at first, instead he began to pick at the calluses on his hands and finally he said:

"He never hits my little brother Stevie because he loves him. You see Stevie looks like my Dad and sometimes he acts like him. Dad ignores my sister Stacy; he's got no use for little girls, I guess. It hurts her too - she wants to know why he never talks to her or plays with her. I think it's for the best since he's such an asshole, but I don't tell her that," he paused and then he said, "I have to tell you something that I've never told anyone."

"Sure, what is it?"

Sam was restless; he got up from the couch and stood in front of the window; he stared down into the parking lot watching the people below scurry about in the rain.

"I'm telling you this because a lot of people say I'm good. Deep down in inside I know I'm not good. The reason my father stopped hitting me is because I threatened to kill him. It happened when I was thirteen. He came into my room one night because I forgot to take out the garbage. I was half asleep and he yanked me out of bed and called me a worthless son of a bitch and he beat me with his belt. He wouldn't let up and I still hadn't healed from his last beating so the pain was even worse than usual. Then he punched me in the mouth and I tasted blood - I lost it. I fell and he kicked me in the stomach then everything in me disappeared."

"What do you mean?"

"It was like all my fear was gone and in that moment I got really strong so I managed to get up and I punched him as hard as I could. He lost his balance and fell to the floor. He was shocked. I never fought back before. I just always took his beatings. Anyway, I ran out of the room and into the kitchen and he chased me. He shoved me against the kitchen table and all the plates and knives crashed to the floor. Suddenly I was on the floor and he was on top of me."

"_You're going to regret what you did; you know I really wish you died in that hospital when you were a baby."_

_Sam didn't know where his strength came from but he pushed his father off of him, grabbed a greasy steak knife, and held it to his throat, pressing it against his skin just enough to draw blood._

"_I can kill you right now if I wanted to. You're an asshole you know that? Everybody thinks you're so great but you're nothing. You know why you hate me? Because I'm you and you can't stand it. I ain't got nothing to lose if I kill you."_

_His father was sweating, his eyes fearful._

"_You got no part of me," he said_

"_I got every part of you," Sam whispered._

_Then he heard a soft voice._

"_Sam, put the knife down." It was his mother._

_He turned and saw her standing behind him; she looked like a ghost in her long white nightgown. She squeezed his shoulder. Sam still gripped the knife; he stared down at his father._

"_If you ever touch me again, I will kill you." The knife sank deeper into his father's throat and he cried out in pain, his hollow gray eyes gazing up at him. Dead eyes. His life was in Sam's hands._

_"Sam, this isn't the way," his mother said and wrapped her arms around him._

"_What is the way?"_

_She didn't answer him._

_He let the knife drop to the floor._

He turned away from the window and stared at Dr. Price, who sat there in her chair, her eyes sad.

"He never touched me again. When my grandparents offered to send me to boarding school and my father said yes. I know he wanted me out of the house. That school was a lifesaver. Sometimes I feel like this evil person for what I did, but part of me thinks if I didn't then he somehow would have killed me, does that make sense?"

"Yes it does. So how are things now with your father?"

"We only speak if we have to and stay out of each other's way. He was attracted to my ex-girlfriend Quinn. Every time she came around he would stare at her. She thought he was creepy."

"I can only imagine," Dr. Price said.

"You know what I sometimes wonder?

"What's that?"

"I wonder if my mother had not come into the kitchen if I would have followed through with it. But then I realize that I couldn't kill him even if I wanted to. In that moment, I thought I could, but there was a little part of me that held back because deep down I still had some sort of love for him. After he wished I died when I was born, beat the shit out of me practically every day of my life, I still loved him, maybe it wasn't a fierce love, but it was there. If he just told me once that he loved me... I don't know. Sometimes I wished I had died too, but then I remember the good stuff."

Dr. Price leaned forward. "What kind of good stuff?"

He shrugged and fiddled with his necklace.

"Stuff like playing my guitar in the woods behind our house, or climbing a tree really high and watching the sunset. Sometimes on rainy or cold days when I couldn't go outside to play, I would go hide in the attic. I would play with these old glass marbles I found in a chest; they looked like planets and I would pretend that I lived inside those marbles. So I knew there was good stuff, you know? All the beatings in the world couldn't take away the beauty of a song or secret planets or love. I didn't get much love growing up but what I did get I held close to my heart. I know Stevie and Stacey love me. I'm worried about Stevie ending up like my Dad so I'm keeping my eye on him. And my mother loves me too, though it's hard for her to show it. She lost her light a long time ago. I don't know if she'll ever get it back."

Sam sat down on the couch. He was exhausted all of a sudden.

"I still feel bad about what I did, but I don't regret it. Nobody else was protecting me. I had to survive. The only other time I felt that angry is when this guy harassed me, Cedes and Finn at the park," he sighed and then said, "I'm really tired are we almost done?"

Dr. Price got up from the chair and sat next to him on the couch.

"Yes, we're done for today. I can understand why you couldn't kill your father and that you still have love for him, despite his hatred for you. And please don't judge yourself so harshly. You're not bad or evil. If you were, then you wouldn't have any love inside you. We'll explore all of these feelings as we continue our sessions. I'm proud of you Sam for having the courage to open up to me. I know it isn't easy since we are practically strangers."

"You don't feel like a stranger, Dr. Price."

She smiled.

"Is it ok if I give you a hug? And remember, call me Rosa."

"Sure, I could use a hug," Sam said.

She gave him a quick hug and they walked out together to the waiting area. Finn and Mercedes got up from their chairs and came over to them. Sam grabbed their hands and introduced them to Rosa.

"Rosa, this is my girlfriend, Mercedes Jones, but I think you know her already, and this is my boyfriend Finn Hudson."

"Mercedes we met a long time ago when your mother brought you to our annual hospital banquet; it's nice to see you again."

Mercedes smiled and shook her hand, "Nice to see you too."

Rosa then turned to Finn, who stood there somewhat awkwardly.

"Well, Finn, it is a pleasure to meet you. That's quite a grip you got there."

Finn blushed and mumbled "Thank you, nice meeting you too."

They stood there chatting for a few minutes with Sam holding their hands proudly in his own. It felt so natural and right, at least to him. He wished it could be like that always.

"Ok, Sam, I'll see you next week at the same time, you guys drive safe," Rosa said as she waved good bye and went back to her office. Finn turned to Sam and said:

"She knows about us?"

"Yeah, I told her and she's completely ok with it. It felt good. You two are too important for me to keep secret."

Mercedes kissed Sam on the cheek.

"Let's get a move on. You look so tired, baby. The ER doctor said you should stay in bed the rest of the week, remember?"

"I know and you're right I am tired. Let's go home."

* * *

**_Something Beautiful_**

When they got outside, the rain had stopped and the sun was shining bright. They piled into the car and this time Finn drove and Mercedes stayed in the back seat with Sam. It would take them a while before Finn and Mercedes realized that he would be ok, and Sam knew that they were treating him with kid gloves because they loved him so much. So he stopped protesting. Finn took the back roads because the main highway was grid locked. The windows were rolled down and the fresh summer air blew in. Sam smiled to himself and played with the purple ribbon in Mercedes' hair. Suddenly, he spotted a beautiful rainbow.

"Look guys, a rainbow," he said and then asked Finn, "Could you pull over for just a minute?"

"Why?"

"I just want to get out and admire it, please? It will only take a second."

Finn sighed and pulled over to the shoulder of the road. They got out of the car and leaned against it, their arms wrapped around each other, and stared up at the sky.

"It is pretty," Mercedes said. Sam kissed her lips.

"I know. I just think it's nice to stop every now and then and look at something beautiful."

"I understand," Finn said.

They stood there for a while admiring the rainbow; it was so bright with it's colors ending at the edge of the wide meadow. A cool breeze was blowing and Sam inhaled the scent of rain and wildflowers; in that moment, everything felt wonderful. Mercedes tugged on his ponytail.

"So how does it feel to make it through your first therapy session?"

Sam sighed and tightened his arm around her.

"Baby, it was hard, but it was worth it. I talked about stuff that one day I will share with you and Finn. Things just got really clear. I still ache inside, but now I know that the pain won't always be there."

Finn and Mercedes each kissed him on the cheek.

"We're so proud of you," Mercedes said, her brown eyes shining in the sunlight.

"You know what? I'm proud of me too," Sam said laughing.

"Hey, what's that old Genesis song, about stuff getting better?" Finn asked.

Sam smirked at him.

"You listen to Genesis?"

"Come on, they're not bad and besides the 80s was my Mom's era. Sometimes she would play it really loud when things were not going so good for her. Oh, I remember, it's called 'It's Gonna Get Better'".

"How does it go?"

Finn suddenly became shy and shrugged his big shoulders.

"I feel funny singing it."

"Finn, you have a great voice," Mercedes said, "Besides, it's just us, go on and sing."

"Cedes is right. We love your voice."

Finn closed his eyes and started singing.

_So reach out, hands in the air_

_Don't care just what they're saying_

_Hold out, just keep on hoping against hope,_

_That it's gonna get better_

_Don't worry, there's no hurry for you, for me,_

_Everything's gonna come around_

_Shout out, someone will listen to you, to me_

_Someone's gonna see..._

_If it's gonna get better, it starts with a feeling_

_If it's gonna get better, it's gonna take time_

_If it's gonna get better, we've gotta start now_

_cos I know, everybody can feel it_

_and I know, everybody will see it_

_cos it shows, and that shows I'm not dreaming_

_cos you know, and I know, it's time for change_

As he became more confident, his voice grew louder, and when he sang the chorus again, Mercedes and Sam joined in, their voices drifted across the meadow. When they were finished, they burst out laughing, hugging each other.

"That was great. I've never heard that song before, but it felt good singing it" Sam said.

"Yeah it did feel good," Mercedes said.

"I'm glad you guys liked it," Finn said.

"Even if it was by Genesis," Sam teased.

"Well, guys, I hate to break up this feel good jam fest but Sam needs his rest, so we better get on the road," Mercedes said.

Sam rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Ok, Mommy."

"I'm only doing this because I love you," Mercedes said, her voice small.

"I know, sweetie, I was just teasing." He kissed her cheek.

They piled into the car and Sam's head was filled with music. As he closed his eyes, he caught a final glimpse of the rainbow as it was fading from the sky.

* * *

**_Lesson Learned_**

That evening Finn helped Mercedes prepare dinner; she assigned him to the task of washing the vegetables while she chopped the onions, they worked in a comfortable silence and Mercedes enjoyed the view of the sunset from the kitchen window. Sam was upstairs sleeping, his blonde head buried beneath her thick white comforter. They were listening to Miles Davis' Kind of Blue because Mercedes was in that kind of mood.

"So what else are we having besides spinach?" Finn asked as he ran cold water over the spinach leaves.

"Liver and onions and baked potatoes," Mercedes said and then glanced at Finn, his face was scrunched up in disgust.

"Are you serious?"

"Don't be such a baby, look we want Sam to get better, right?"

"Yeah."

"He needs iron."

"I know but we got him those iron tablets, isn't that enough?"

"No, come on, liver isn't that bad and besides I know a good a recipe."

Finn shrugged and Mercedes smiled at him.

"Give it a chance Finn."

"Alright."

Mercedes went into the pantry to get the potatoes. As she lifted the five-pound sack off of the bottom shelf, a sharp pain shot through her right shoulder. She cried out, dropping the sack, the potatoes rolled out all over the floor.

"Shit!" She said.

Finn rushed into the pantry.

"Sweetheart, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I think so, I just pulled a muscle that's all. This shoulder has been giving me problems." She sighed and went into the kitchen, sitting down to the table, rubbing her shoulder, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Like hell you are. Show me exactly where it hurts," Finn said, sitting down beside her.

"Finn, I said I- "

"Stop it, Mercy, just for once can you just let somebody help you?"

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"I always let you help me."

Finn shook his head.

"No, you don't. You always insist on going it alone. I'm shocked you let me help with dinner tonight."

"Finn you're exaggerating as usual," Mercedes said still rubbing her shoulder.

"I am not. Like last month for instance, I said I would change your oil, and before I could, you did it yourself in the next hour. I said I would do it. Or when you had to mow the lawn; I know how much you hate yard work and I offered to help and you refused saying you could handle it, but the worst thing was how you thought you could handle Sam by yourself."

"Are you saying it's my fault with what happened with him?"

"Baby, no, of course not. But why didn't you call me to let me know it was that bad; I knew about the nightmares and lack of sleep but I had no clue it had gotten to the point that it did. I would've have come over much sooner. When I saw him in here baking bread and ... " Finn started tearing up, "I don't know. I just wish I had known."

Mercedes put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him.

"How dare you? After I suffered through watching Sam turn into God knows what; you have the nerve to scold me for not saying anything to you sooner? I love you Finn, but you're out of line. I did what I thought was best. Besides you've been pulling double shifts at the garage since Burt had to let a couple of people go. I was just trying to handle things."

"That's the problem! You always handle things and _never_ let anybody help you! You and Sam are just alike. You both think you can carry the world on your shoulders and what gets me is that you don't have to. I'm here. I love you both more than anything in the world. And when I see you in pain, I want to help. That's all. There's no blame here. No right or wrong. Just me wanting to be there for the ones I love. We share each other's hearts, why can't we share our burdens?"

"Finn I - "

"No, this has been bothering me for a while. You give so much of yourself to both Sam and me. Why can't you accept the same in return? You both convinced me that I was worthy to be loved by both of you; don't you think you deserve to be loved?"

Mercedes stared down at the kitchen table, not wanting to see Finn's loving eyes or the truth that was in them. After a few moments she said:

"I'm trying Finn, I really am. But I swear sometimes I do wonder if I'm dreaming when it comes to the two of you and sometimes I think one day you'll both wake up and realize that I'm not worth the trouble, ok, I know that sounds pathetic, but it's the truth. In my heart I know that you love me, but I can't wrap my head around it. I just can't. And I'm sorry that I didn't call you sooner or that I refused your help. I wanted to be a low maintenance girl, I guess,"

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Her shoulder throbbed. Finn stared at her and she finally allowed herself to meet his gaze.

"There's something you don't understand," she said.

"What don't I understand?"

"Sam and I only know how to fend for ourselves. His father is an asshole and his mother never protects him. My parents have been in Kenya for over a month and I've only heard from them twice. We don't know any other way to live. You're lucky that you have Burt and Carole - not everybody is so fortunate, Finn, think about it."

Finn took both of her hands in his and squeezed them tightly.

"Mercy, I hear what you're saying but maybe it's time for both of you to learn a new way to live. You taught me I was worth something, now I'm teaching you to accept help when you need it. I'm not asking for an apology for how things happened and I never want you to be a "low maintenance girl" I just want you to be my girl, the one who lets me help her. It's true when Sam says that you are an angel. You help so many people without recognition or credit. And you love so hard, my God, girl, you made a lug like me believe in myself. Because of you I actually think I have a shot at going to college. Me, Finn Hudson the dumb jock actually going to college and making something of myself. Whatever it takes, we are going to help you realize that you are wonderful. Ok, baby?"

He put his arms around her. She couldn't hug him back because of the piercing pain in her shoulder.

"Ok," she whispered into his chest.

He held her for a long time and then he said:

"Now I want you to take off your shirt, but it's not what you think. I know I can help ease the pain in your shoulder."

Mercedes unbuttoned her blouse; she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. _Just let him helpyou..._ It was such a simple thing, accepting help but for Mercedes it equaled vulnerability something she wanted to avoid. Finn smiled at her and kissed her cheek. He then began to knead her shoulder, going deeper into her flesh with each movement.

"This is going to hurt a little at first but then it will start to feel good, I promise."

She nodded. He was right, it did hurt, and she almost told him to stop but then the pain went away and was replaced with the most glorious feeling. Mercedes let out a little moan, yes, Finn knew exactly what he was doing.

"I take it your shoulder is feeling better?" He laughed.

"Yes, Finn. How did you learn to do that?"

"Well in football, you get injured a lot as you know and so I started reading up on massage and physical therapy and I learned a few things."

"You most certainly did," Mercedes said and then moaned again.

Finn's hands began to massage both shoulders and her neck and it felt so damn good. Her bra straps were falling slightly as he worked his way downward. Then she felt his hands move to her breasts, squeezing them gently, his fingers teasing her hard lace covered nipples: he tugged and pulled her nipples just enough for her to feel those little jolts of pleasure through her body. A small cry escaped her lips.

Suddenly, Finn was in front of her and his lips crashed onto hers; Mercedes welcomed the kiss, she ran her hands through his dark hair and he tugged on her French braid, pulling her closer, he sat down and she straddled his lap, never breaking the kiss. She felt his heart beating against her own. Finally he broke the kiss and she looked into his eyes:

"Not what I think, huh? I know the real reason why you wanted my shirt off," she said.

"It was that damn moaning that did it. And if you keep moving like that I'm just going to have to have my way with you Miss Jones."

"Then have your way," Mercedes whispered in his ear. She felt that familiar tingle between her thighs. Holding her close he kissed her again; Finn's lips may not have been as plump as Sam's but he knew how to work what he had, and Mercedes felt everything in that kiss. Finn reluctantly pulled away from her.

"Mercy, Sam's upstairs sleeping, we can't disturb him, so where did you want to -"

"The guest bedroom," she said while nibbling his neck.

"Baby, please you know I've gotten better but I don't want to, well you know."

Mercedes held his face between her hands.

"No matter what, you always satisfy me." Finn blushed at her words.

"I love you, Mercy."

"I love you too."

"Now I'm going to do naughty things to you," he said, raising his eyebrows and flashing a wicked grin. He got up and carried her to the guest bedroom down the hall, near the library.

"I love it when you carry me; it makes me feel like a princess or a damsel in distress," she said, leaning against him.

"You're not a princess, you're a queen," Finn said. His tone was serious and he gazed into her eyes. She kissed his cheek.

"Then where is my crown?"

"You're already wearing it. You just don't see it."

Tears rolled down Mercedes' cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. Finn smiled at her.

"Those better be happy tears."

"They are, baby, they are."

When they got to the guest bedroom he gently lay her on the huge canopy bed draped with sheer white cloth, her mother got the idea after she watched her favorite movie - Out of Africa. It made Mercedes feel like she was on a safari. Finn was about to close the door, but Mercedes stopped him.

"No, leave it open, I don't want Sam to think we left. Even though he doesn't admit it, he gets scared when he wakes up alone."

"You're right, I forgot - we'll leave it open."

"Besides, he likes hearing us make love, even if we aren't all together."

Finn lay next to her on the bed.

"Yeah, I know. He's wonderful isn't he?"

"He's the best and so are you. Now are you still going to be naughty, Mr. Hudson?" Mercedes said licking her lips and feeling a little naughty herself.

"Of course, Miss Jones," Finn replied as he unhooked her bra and her large breasts spilled out into his eager hands. He squeezed her abundant mounds between his big hands.

"I love your tits, Mercy, they're so soft and big," he leaned down and began sucking her hard nipples, she sighed in pleasure when his tongue made contact with those sensitive nubs.

"Like that baby?" he whispered, as his tongue glided across her cleavage, leaving a long, wet trail.

Mercedes was wet. She needed more.

"I need you so bad…"

"I know, I smell you," he said looking up from his place at her breasts.

"What do you mean? I'm wearing deodorant."

Finn threw back his head and laughed.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I smell your pussy; I know you're ready for me."

Suddenly Mercedes sat up, her breasts jiggling. Finn stared at her chest, licking his lips but she was oblivious.

"You mean I stink?"

"Mercy, you don't stink. It's a scent. I can't explain it. Sam smells it too and we think it's the hottest thing ever. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Finn reached for her and unzipped her jeans, yanking them off of her big, shapely legs. Her white lace panties were soaked. He quickly shed his clothes and stood before her naked, his cock long and hard.

She admired his nude form; she loved how big and tall he was, and how his giant body covered hers, swallowing her up.

He spread her legs wide and lay on top of her, rubbing his hard cock against her panty clad pussy. It was sweet torture how she could feel his hot shaft through the wet lace as he continued, his slow, teasing assault, gliding up and down. He then leaned back and slipped his fingers beneath the damp material, slowly inching his big finger into her hot core, and she squirmed about on the bed, grabbing at her breasts and moaning.

"Finn, baby, please, I need more."

He inserted another finger and began pumping faster. Mercedes continued to massage her breasts, her small hands squeezing her hard nipples. Her hips moved in time with Finn's ministrations.

"That's it, play with those big tits, you look so hot right now," Finn breathed.

His fingers felt great but Mercedes needed his cock filling her up. Then suddenly his large fingers were gone and her panties disappeared. She felt his thick tongue as he shoved it in as far as he could inside her, licking and sucking up her juices. Mercedes cried out and her thighs began to shake, she was getting closer, closer… and then Finn rammed his big cock into her tight pussy.

"Fuck, oh Finn, shit!"

"You wanted this bad, didn't you? I know it's been awhile since you had our big dicks inside you, you need us, Mercy, only we can fill you up, and satisfy you." He thrust his hips into her, hitting her sweet spot and then purposefully avoiding it. Mercedes thought she would lose her mind. She needed to come so bad, but Finn was making her wait.

"This is what happens when you don't ask for help," he said and then hit her spot two times in a row only to miss it again on the next thrust, "you look so sexy right now, your luscious curves, your big tits shaking. I can see you want to come, baby," he said as he continued to pound into her, his face was flushed. He felt so good – it was such a pleasurable pain that she was crying.

"Finn, please I need to come!"

Out of frustration, she reached down between them and tried to touch her clit because that would send her over the edge for sure. Finn saw what she was doing and grabbed her hands, pinning them over her head. All movement ceased. He looked down at her.

"I want you to understand something. You're no longer alone. Whenever you're in pain, either Sam or me will be there. I'll mow your lawn, change your oil, and love you so good, you won't even know your own name. Let me in, ok?" He reached down and kissed her so hard that Mercedes could barely catch her breath when he finally pulled away.

"I love you," she whispered, touching his face once he released her hands.

He began thrusting into her again and Mercedes heart raced, he kept her arms pinned firmly down, and then he growled in her ear,

"I want you to repeat after me."

"Whatever you want me to say I'll say it," she cried; she was too far gone to deny him anything.

"I'm an angel. I'm beautiful. I'm a queen. But you gotta shout it."

"What about Sam?"

"Sam will be fine, this is for you. I don't have to give you an orgasm you know," he threatened.

Mercedes shouted out:

"I'm an angel, I'm beautiful, I'm a queen!"

He pounded into her furiously, not holding anything back, he was relentless as he fucked her, sending her over the edge so much that she was screaming and crying and she repeated his mantra even louder than before.

"I'm an angel, I'm beautiful, I'm a queen!"

Finn surprised her again when he flipped her over and entered her from behind. He slapped her ass, as he slid inside her. Her cheeks quivered and shook with each slap and when he reached around and pressed his index finger against her clit as he frantically pumped within her, Mercedes flew apart as the orgasm traveled through her body, she felt it everywhere, she was screaming and gripping the bedspread. Then Finn came, his cum shooting into her, in long, squirts, and it felt warm against her quivering thighs. He yelled out just as loud as she did and he collapsed on top of her.

"Damn," he muttered into her neck.

Mercedes was still feeling the aftershock, little tingles were zinging through her body. She couldn't speak.

Finn turned her over and kissed her, it was a long, passionate kiss and she returned it eagerly. He then gathered her in his arms and held her close to his heart, their sweaty bodies smelled of sex, cum, and her essence. She rested her head on his big shoulder. Then she absently reached up and scratched her scalp. Finn noticed and said:

"You've been doing that all day. Do you want me to oil your scalp?"

She smiled.

"What do you know about oiling my scalp?" her voice was a hoarse whisper.

"I've watched you do it before. I know you just washed your hair this morning and you didn't get a chance to do it because we were busy with Sam. We got time now."

Could Finn get anymore wonderful? She wondered as she looked at him.

"Ok, but let's take a shower first. We can use the guest bathroom."

The guest bathroom was painted a soft orange and had pictures of the Sahara desert adorning the walls. The color always reminded Mercedes of a creamsicle. Finn laughed at her polka dot shower cap and she stuck out her tongue at him. The shower turned into another love session, with Finn pinning her against the orange walls and taking her again, she wrapped her big legs around his wide waist, and clung to him as he drove his cock into her again and again, this time wanting her to come as many times as possible. After they were finished in the shower, they dried each other off and slipped on the extra large bathrobes that her mother kept in the guest bedroom closet. Finn found some hair oil and a comb in the bathroom cabinet. He sat on the bed and she sat on the floor on a pillow between his legs and he began the task of oiling her hair.

"Let me undo my braid first," Mercedes said as she untied the purple ribbon and quickly undid her French braid, when she was done her hair was in a bunch of crinkly waves. Finn smiled in approval.

"You look like a mermaid."

Mercedes only laughed.

Finn patiently parted her hair in sections with the comb and applied a little bit of the sweet oil to her scalp. He worked at a slow pace, making sure he didn't miss a spot. Mercedes enjoyed the feeling of his fingers pressing against her scalp; and the oil felt good on her dry skin. After awhile, Finn was singing softly as he worked, and Mercedes closed her eyes, letting herself be carried away by his voice.

"You should sing more often, Finn," she said.

"I'll try since it pleases you and Sam so much."

"It does."

"You know I tried to serenade Rachel once," he said as he tackled another section of her thick kinky hair.

"You did? When?"

"It was Valentine's Day last year. I stood outside her window and sang Somewhere from Westside Story. I thought I sounded pretty good and you know what she said?"

Mercedes was afraid to find out but she asked:

"What did she say?"

"She said I was a little flat and I didn't go in for the kill at the conclusion. Then she asked me why I got her a Whitman's Sampler when I knew she liked Godiva. I felt really bad when she said that."

"Ok, I'll just say it. Rachel is very talented but she's batshit crazy. She needs to take a lesson from Sam's book and just look a something beautiful."

"You're more talented than she is," Finn said.

"Yeah, well not everybody thinks so. Like Mr. Schue for instance."

"True, but you're bigger than that damn glee club, you know that right?"

Mercedes chuckled.

"I guess so. I get a lot of joy from singing on stage. Joy is what drives me mostly. And I can be a diva at times. But I like my inner diva - when she's being nice that is."

Finn reached down and kissed her cheek.

"I like her too."

When he was finished, Mercedes was quite pleased.

"You did a good job Mr. Hudson. Thank you very much," she kissed him on the lips. He smiled at her.

"I love your hair. You look beautiful."

She decided to braid it again and wear it in a wavy Afro the next day.

"Sam is going to love the waves," Finn said.

"I know. Let's go check on him."

They crept up the stairs hand in hand and found Sam sitting up in the bed, rubbing his eyes.

"Sam, sweetheart how are you feeling?" Mercedes asked as she walked over to him and kissed his cheek.

He pulled her into a hug and kissed her passionately. Mercedes had to catch her breath. Sam was grinning.

"Damn, girl, you smell all shower fresh," he nuzzled her neck and she giggled against him. Sam then glanced over at Finn, "Come here babe, you didn't think you could stand there without me wanting to kiss you did you?"

Finn walked over and Sam pulled him gently onto the bed, kissing him until they gasped for breath. They all snuggled up together under the fluffy comforter.

"I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, but I heard you two downstairs, that was really beautiful; I was too tired to move though. Your voices traveled through the air vent," Sam said.

"I know you like listening to us," Mercedes murmured against his bare chest.

"Did you get enough rest?" Finn asked as he stroked Sam's face.

"I did. I feel good right now. But I'm starving."

Mercedes sat up.

"We were going to cook dinner, but now I feel like going out. Who's up for Breadsticks, my treat!"

"You don't have to pay," Finn said.

"It's on my parents' credit card who cares? So what do you say? Do my two handsome, sexy, caring, awesome boyfriends want to escort me to dinner at one of Lima's finest establishments?" Mercedes asked. She began kissing each of them and they groaned against her lips.

"Well since our hot girlfriend put it like that, how can we refuse?" Sam said, hugging her against him.

"Ok, I'm in," Finn said.

They cuddled awhile longer and Mercedes felt better than she had in a long time. Sure there were a lot of obstacles to overcome and Sam's journey was just beginning, but so was hers. Finn's mantra played again in her mind: "I'm an angel. I'm beautiful. I'm a queen." And so she was at least for tonight.

* * *

**End Notes**

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**Summary**: Sam has a talk with Stevie about his sexuality and Stacey's possible death; Finn brings Stacey a present; Sam's Aunt Patty comes for a visit

**Rating**: Mature

**Warning**: Strong language

**Author's Note**: This chapter focuses on Sam and his relationship with his siblings. **_THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS!_**

* * *

**_Confessions and Sugar Cookies_**

It was early Saturday morning and Sam was in the kitchen with his little brother Stevie, making rose water sugar cookies for Stacey. His family's tiny, cramped kitchen with it's peeling paint and old appliances was a far cry from the gourmet one he had grown accustomed to at Mercedes' house, but Sam didn't let it bother him too much because there were other things on his mind. The treatment Stacey received in Columbus had not helped her condition much; so his family came home and Stacey was now in Lima Children's Hospital Center. Nobody knew what would happen next but Sam clung to the hope that she would get better. He looked down at Stevie who stood beside him waiting eagerly to help; it was his idea to make Stacey her favorite cookies and take them to her. Stevie still had on his rumpled Spiderman pajamas and his light brown hair stood up on end.

"Now, Stevie, you understand that Stacey might not be able to eat these cookies because of all the medication she's taking," Sam said as he dumped the flour and sugar into the mixing bowl. Stevie rolled his eyes and said:

"You said that before Sam and I get it. I just want to take her something that makes her happy, ok? And anyway, if she doesn't want to eat them then maybe the nurses or other kids will like them."

"Just so you understand. I didn't want you to be disappointed." Sam said and patted Stevie's head.

"I know Sam, oh, guess what? I made some rose water!"

Before Sam could ask Stevie what he was talking about, he tore out of the kitchen and moments later, he came back with a jar of rose petals filled with water. A few bugs and blades of grass floated to the surface. Smiling proudly, he presented it to Sam.

"See, this should be more than enough to make a lot of cookies!"

"When did you do that?"

"Remember when we went to the park and played ball?"

"Yeah."

"Well there was a rose bush there and I picked a bunch of petals and put them in my pockets. When we got home, I put them in some water. Isn't that how you make it?"

Sam took the jar from him and sat it on the counter.

"You have the right idea but you need to boil the water first and then let the rose petals sit in it for awhile. And you want to get rid of any bugs. Don't worry we already have some in the cupboard."

Stevie sat down to the table and sighed.

"And here I thought I was helping."

"You were helping Stevie and besides, there's still a lot to be done to make these cookies. Don't feel bad." Sam said, hoping this encouraged him. Stevie looked up at him, his grayish green eyes were sad.

"I heard Mom talking to Aunt Patty on the phone. She says the doctors don't think Stacey is gonna make it. A nurse told me that sick people need to try to stay happy because it helps them get better. If we can make Stacey really happy then maybe she won't be sick anymore."

Sam suddenly wished that Reverend Franklin was still alive; he would know exactly what to say to Stevie, but Sam was at a loss. So he decided to be honest. He sat down next to his brother.

"We'll do everything we can to make Stacey happy. I don't know if that will make her well again, but it never hurts to try."

"I'm scared. I don't want her to die."

Sam reached over and hugged him. They both were silent for a moment and then Stevie said:

"Do you ever pray?"

"I used to, but not so much anymore, except to say grace."

"Why did you stop?"

"I don't know, Stevie."

"Mom is always asking folks to pray for Stacey especially at church."

Sam nodded. "I know. Nothing wrong with that."

"You never come with us to church. Neither does Dad."

"Dad is on the road for his job, that's how it is for truck drivers," Sam said, in way of explanation.

"But you're not a truck driver," Stevie said, resting his head on Sam's shoulder, "I miss you, Sam."

Sam blinked back a few tears. Guilt washed over him. He had been neglecting Stevie.

"Stevie, I promise we'll spend more time together. I've just been busy with a lot of stuff."

"I wish you had come with us to Columbus. All Mom and Dad did was fight and Stacey slept all the time. Me and Dad would have breakfast every morning at McDonald's and he told me things."

"What kind of things?" Sam asked him.

Stevie hesitated then said:

"Sam, are you a fag?"

"Is that what Dad called me?"

Stevie nodded. "He told me you were a fag and he hopes that I don't turn out like you. He said that you had to be a fag to have a girlfriend like Mercedes cause no guy that likes girls would want to be with her."

Sam clenched his fists, silently counting to ten. He took a deep a breath and said:

"Stevie, Dad says a lot of things that are mean and hateful, you're growing up now and I want you to understand that not everything he says should be repeated. You can hurt someone's feelings."

"But he said it was ok to call somebody out, not let them think they can get away with stuff. He said that the truth hurts but once you know it you'll be stronger."

"Stevie, listen to me, you love me, right?"

He nodded. "Yes, I love you Sam, you're my big brother."

"So do you think I would lie to you?"

"No," Stevie said and looked down at the floor, then he raised his head and said:

"Do you like to kiss boys?"

Sam ran his hands through his hair, not sure how to respond.

"Would it matter to you if I did?"

Stevie was quiet for a long time, thinking about what Sam said. Finally, he said:

"Yes, it would matter, cause Dad says it's bad."

"What if Dad is wrong?"

"What if you're wrong? Don't you like girls anymore?"

Sam laughed bitterly.

"I still like girls."

"Then I don't understand."

"Stevie, I'll explain it to you when you're older, but right now, I don't want you using the word fag. It isn't nice."

"Why can't you explain it now? I'm the smartest kid in my class."

It was true, Stevie was very bright and often brought home straight A's. He was popular, good looking, and was excellent in all sports, by the time this kid got to high school, he would probably be prom king. Sam stared at his little brother: he was everything he wasn't at that age. And as much as he hated to admit it, if he and Stevie were the same age and not related, they wouldn't be friends. This thought unsettled Sam. Despite Stevie's intelligence, Sam still wasn't sure if he could or should explain how he was in love with a boy and girl. But he gave it a shot anyway.

"Ok, you know how you like chocolate ice cream but you also like strawberry too?"

"Yeah, that's why I like Napoleon ice cream."

Sam chuckled. "You mean Neapolitan. It's like that. Some people like both girls and boys and there's nothing wrong with that. Regardless of what Dad says, those people are not bad."

"Dad said he didn't have to spank me the way he did you. Because I'm all boy."

_Is that what he called it? Spanking?_

"Do you think he's right?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I understand what he means," Stevie shrugged his shoulders, "It's not like I'm part girl or anything. And neither are you," he paused then said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did Dad say that about Mercedes?"

Sam sighed. "Because Dad thinks that people should match on the outside and look a certain way. But Stevie, please understand that stuff like that doesn't matter. Love goes beyond what you look like on the outside."

"So it shouldn't matter how somebody looks?"

"No, it shouldn't matter at all. Looks are only a small part of you are."

"All the girls think I'm cute," Stevie said in a slightly smug tone. Sam laughed.

"I'm sure they do."

"I like being good looking. It makes things easier."

"It does," Sam admitted, "But it shouldn't be the only thing you have going for you."

"It's not all I have going for me. I'm a good soccer player and I just won a trophy in a spelling bee."

"You're not one to lack confidence," Sam said.

Stevie shrugged. "That's who I am."

"You're a good kid, Stevie, now let's get back to making cookies, Sam said as he rose from the chair. Stevie looked up at him, his expression serious.

"I'm not always good," he whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"There's this fat kid named Charlie in my class that nobody likes and everyday I beat him up after school."

"Stevie, you know better than that! I'm disappointed in you!"

But Stevie was undeterred and defended his actions. "He's such a loser. He can't play sports and he's in the dumb class at school."

"That's no reason to beat somebody up. I was in the slow reading class at school; do you want to beat me up? And what about Mercedes? She isn't skinny, do you want to hit her too? After all those times she baby sit you and Stacey and we watched movies and played together? Do you hate her too?"

Stevie's eyes filled with tears and his bottom lip trembled. "Sam, I don't want to beat up you and Mercedes."

"Then why are you bullying that kid? For someone so smart, what you're doing is really stupid!" Sam knew he was being harsh and he hated to see Stevie cry but he needed to be taught a lesson; his behavior was inexcusable.

Stevie hugged him.

"I'm sorry Sam, please don't be mad at me. I'll stop. I promise. And I don't care that you like girls and boys. You're still my big brother."

"Look, Stevie, I never want to hear that you are bullying anyone. Do you understand? Nobody deserves to be bullied; it's a terrible thing to do to somebody," He gave him a chaste kiss on his forehead.

"Did anybody ever bully you?" Stevie asked as he pulled away from their embrace and sat back in the chair.

"Yes."

"What did they do to you?"

"They threw rocks at me and called me ugly and stupid," Sam said, remembering how much he hated school when he was Stevie's age.

"You're not ugly Sam, I heard Mom say that all the girls think you're handsome. And I think you're smart, you can even speak Navi. I don't know anybody who can do that."

"Well, I've changed a lot since I was a little kid." Sam said and ruffled Stevie's hair, which made him laugh, then he asked:

"Did people bully Mercedes?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, Mercedes was bullied a lot when she was in elementary school, and you know what?"

"What?"

"Even though she's a big kid like me now, what those kids said to her still hurts."

Stevie was shocked, his eyes widened.

"Really? But that was such a long time ago."

"It doesn't matter. Stuff like that hurts a long time. When she told me stories about it she cried," Sam said, trying not to cry himself, "She was bullied because of her size and sometimes because of her race." Once she told him a story about how all the kids in her 4th grade class left Jenny Craig ads in her lunch box with a picture of the fattest woman in the world. It was Finn who found her behind the bleachers crying and spent his lunch period wiping her tears and telling her that she looked fine.

"So that means, when Charlie, gets older, he'll still hurt too?"

"Everybody is different but he probably will."

Stevie hung his head.

"I feel bad Sam."

"You should feel bad," Sam said, not letting Stevie off easy, he would be damned if he let his brother turn out to be an asshole like their father, "But you can make things right by telling that kid you're sorry and maybe even being his friend because he probably needs one."

"Ok, I'll apologize but I don't know if I can be his friend. He doesn't like the same stuff that I do."

"What kind of stuff does he like?"

Stevie thought for a moment then said, "You know what? I don't know what he likes. I don't know anything about him. Except that he's fat and makes a lousy goalie when we play soccer in gym class. He makes you lose every game."

"Well how do you know you can't be his friend? You don't even know what he likes or what he does for fun."

"That's true. I'll ask him what kind of stuff he likes when I apologize, but Sam, I can't promise that I will be his friend."

"Just take it one step at a time. Anyway, we have to finish these cookies."

"I just have one more question."

"What's that?"

"Where did you get that necklace?" Stevie asked as he reached out and lightly touched the angel's wing with his fingertip.

"Someone who loves me very much gave it to me."

"Why?"

"To protect me from bad things."

"Oh. Was it Mercedes who gave it to you?"

"No, Stevie it wasn't. And someday soon, I will tell you who gave it to me, but right now isn't the time, ok?"

"Ok, Sam. You know Stacey told me that she talks to angels."

"She did?"

"Yeah, but I don't like it."

"Why?"

"Because that means she's going to live with them and I don't want her to."

Sam hugged Stevie close to him and said:

"It might not mean that at all. They might just be looking out for her."

Stevie pulled away from him and touched his necklace again.

"The way this angel is protecting you?"

"Sort of like that. Stevie, I remember you once said that you were tired of hoping and that you just wanted Stacey to be better, but you need hope. It's what gets you through."

"I know that you had bad stuff happen to you Sam," Stevie said peering into his eyes.

"Do you know what it was?"

Stevie shook his head. "No, Mom and Dad won't tell me. I just know it happened when I was little. But Dad said it was your fault."

He gripped Stevie's shoulders. "That's not true Stevie, and you listen to me, someday, I'm going to tell you everything, but right now, you really are too young, understand?"

Stevie was about to protest but Sam gave him a stern look.

"I understand."

Sam hugged him and they started making the cookies; he was thankful that Stevie didn't pry anymore about the past or the necklace. Sam wasn't ashamed of Finn or the love that they shared; however, he was going out on a limb, telling Stevie he liked girls and boys, so letting him know about Finn would be too much. Suddenly he said:

"You know Stevie, let's just keep what I said about liking girls and boys between us, alright? Dad has a bad temper about those things."

"I know. I wasn't going to say anything anyway. I can keep a secret. I'm not a girl." Stevie said as he handed Sam a stick of butter, "You can trust me."

Sam laughed and continued mixing the dough; Stevie leaned over the bowl and sniffed.

"It smells so good. I want to eat it raw."

"I'll let you have some after we put in the rest of the ingredients, now all I need is rose water, vanilla extract and lemon extract, they're in the cupboard on the second shelf."

Stevie eagerly fetched the three bottles for Sam and gave them to him. Sam carefully poured the liquid from each bottle onto the silver teaspoon as Stevie watched with wide eyes, his head cocked to the side.

"Is that enough?"

"Yeah, a little of this stuff goes a long way," Sam said, and then mixed the dough some more, then he spooned out some of the dough and handed it to Stevie.

"Here you go."

Stevie grinned and ate the dough, smiling in satisfaction.

"That's so good. Stacey is gonna love them."

Sam put the dough in the fridge to chill; it needed to be cold before they rolled it out. Just then there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Stevie said and ran off to answer the door, with Sam trailing after him.

"Who is it?" Stevie yelled.

"It's Finn."

Sam felt his heart leap. He gently pushed Stevie out of the way and unlocked the door, opening it to find Finn standing on his doorstep in sweats and a Burt's Garage t-Shirt. He was holding a pink package.

"Hey, there Stevie, remember me?" Finn said smiling down at Sam's little brother.

Stevie scrunched up his face in concentration.

"I think so, you play football with Sam, right?"

"That's right," Finn said and then turned to Sam, "Hi, sorry for not calling but I wanted to drop something off for Stacey."

Sam gazed into Finn's eyes. He wanted to hug and kiss him in the worse way, but with Stevie right there…

"Sure, no problem. Come on in."

"We're making rose water sugar cookies for Stacey," Stevie said, closing the door, "Do you want to help?"

Finn looked at Sam, not sure how to answer.

"Sure, why don't you stay?" Sam said.

"Ok, why not? Oh, here's the gift for Stacey. My mom said it was her favorite book when she was a little girl, it's called the Best Loved Doll. I know how much Stacey loves her doll, Maggie," Finn said as he handed the gift to Sam.

"Finn, you didn't have to do this, but thank you, I'm sure Stacey will love it." Sam said.

"Stacey thinks Maggie is a real person," Stevie said as they walked into the kitchen.

"Stevie, that's not true, Stacey just has a big imagination that's all," Sam said, though Stacey did have a strong fixation on her doll Maggie. It was an old porcelain doll that she found in the attic of their house in Tennessee; she had tangled red hair and bone white skin, the tip of her nose was chipped and one of the eyes refused to open all the way so she had the constant appearance of winking. She loved that doll more than anything.

"Sam, I'm hungry," Stevie said as he sat down to the table, "Can you make us breakfast?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"Toast and eggs."

"Did you want anything Finn?"

"I'll have the same thing," he said smiling at Sam, and Sam almost tripped over a chair as he pulled the skillet out of the cabinet. Finn got up from the table and Sam felt his body just inches from his own, he even smelled his lingering scent of Ivory soap.

"Need any help?"

"No, I'm good, go sit down," Sam said, a little too loudly.

Making breakfast was a good distraction for Sam and he enjoyed listening to Finn and Stevie talk about sports and anything else that came up. Then somehow the topic of girls came into their conversation.

"So, Finn, do you have a girlfriend?"

Sam quickly turned away from the stove.

"Stevie that's personal."

"No it's not. Everybody knows I have a girlfriend."

"You have a girlfriend? What's her name?" Sam asked hoping that Stevie would forget what he asked Finn.

"Her name is Isabella but everybody calls her Bella and she has long black hair. She's the prettiest girl in the school."

"Sounds like a winner," Finn said laughing and he patted Stevie on the head.

"She is," Stevie said, "Anyway, do you have a girlfriend?"

Sam stared at Finn. Finn stared back. Finally he spoke.

"Yes, I have a girlfriend."

"What's her name?"

"It's a secret."

"Is she pretty?"

"She's beautiful."

Sam gazed at Finn as he spoke about their girl Mercedes. None of this should be a secret and he wanted so much to just be open about it. But Stevie was too young to understand everything regardless of how smart he was. He focused on the eggs in the skillet, and listened to Stevie rattle off questions.

"So does she bring you stuff?"

"What do you mean?"

"Bella brings me candy everyday, sometimes it's Hershey's kisses, and those are my favorite."

"No, she doesn't bring me candy but she's very kind and I love her very much."

"She would be a much better girlfriend if she brought you candy like mine does."

"I'll keep that in mind," Finn said.

Sam felt Finn's eyes on him as he set the steaming plates of eggs and toast onto the table. For a second, their hands touched, and Sam cleared his throat, quickly moving away to get the orange juice out of the fridge. Then he patted his hair down a little. _Why did he have to look like he just rolled out of bed?_ Sam had no idea why he felt so exposed. The three of them had woken up together many times that summer, but for some reason, this was different.

After he sat down, they all joined hands and Sam said grace, he gripped Finn's hand tightly, hoping to convey how much he loved him, and Finn seemed to understand because he squeezed back. When they opened their eyes after saying amen, Sam avoided Finn's gaze and concentrated on the food before him. Stevie chatted happily between bites of scrambled eggs and Finn was a gracious listener, even asking questions. Once they were finished eating, Sam said to Stevie:

"Go take a shower and get dressed. Then we will finish the cookies and take them to Stacey and Mom at the hospital."

"Oh, but I want to talk to Finn some more," Stevie whined.

"I'll still be here," Finn said.

Stevie smiled and left the kitchen. When he was gone, Sam couldn't help himself, he pulled Finn toward him and kissed him, his tongue pushing eagerly into the warm cavern of his mouth, Finn made that funny noise he makes when he's aroused, it sounded like something between a moan and a squeak, and when Sam heard it he smiled. When they broke the kiss he said:

"I've been wanting to do that since I saw you standing on my doorstep, you looked so adorable. Thank you for coming."

"I wanted to kiss you too. You look good with bed head. And you know I love you shirtless."

Sam touched his messy ponytail and laughed; Finn grabbed his hands and squeezed them.

"Don't ever feel self conscious around me. No matter what I'm always going to think you are the sexist guy on the planet."

Sam kissed him again, this time it was more slow, and Finn pulled him closer, so close that his bare chest was pressed against Finn's t-shirt, he reached under the shirt and caressed his skin, pinching one of his nipples, Finn gasped.

"Sam…" he whispered.

"Babe, I wish we could – " Sam began to say.

Finn pulled away from him before things went any further; he was panting and his hazel eyes were dazed.

"Your brother is here. We should stop right now."

Sam only nodded and looked down at the bulge in Finn's pants. On impulse, he let his hands graze over his crotch, lightly squeezing him. Finn moaned at his touch. Sam grew bolder and his hands reached under the waistband of Finn's pants and moved downward toward his hard cock. As soon as his fingers came in contact with his hot flesh, Finn whimpered softly. They had spoken of exploring more in the bedroom and right at that moment, Sam wanted nothing more than to take Finn in his mouth or at the very least give him a hand job. Then he thought of Cedes and how he wanted her there whenever he and Finn decided to do more for each other. It would feel empty if she didn't experience it with them. Finn gently removed his hand and said:

"There's plenty of time for that; I want more too. But we should wait."

Sam leaned back in his chair.

"You're right. And I want and Cedes to be there when we take things further. Damn, I miss waking up with her every morning. It's driving me crazy. Did you check on her today?"

"Yes, I stopped by on my way over here. She's doing better. That stomach virus she has is no joke. I made sure she took her medicine and drank some water. I stayed with her until she fell asleep again. She didn't even tell me to leave, she's accepting my help and it felt great."

"I'm so glad you had that talk with her." Finn smiled.

"I am too. Now do you think you can go by there this afternoon or evening? I'm going to have to work a longer shift and I might not be able to."

"Of course I can, though I may have to take Stevie with me, because my Mom is with Stacey at the hospital."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Besides, it's not like you two can do anything anyway."

"True. Thanks for bringing my sister a gift."

"Oh, that's nothing. Tell me how she's doing. And don't just say fine, I really want to know." Finn faced him, giving his full attention.

Sam's eyes filled with tears and he didn't bother wiping them away.

"My sister is dying. I'm scared. My mother is a wreck. Stevie is as good as an 8 year old can be in a time like this, and my Dad is a prick, so that's what's going on."

Finn opened his arms and Sam fell into his embrace, his tears spilling onto his massive shoulder.

"I don't want my sister to die. God, Finn, you should see her. She's so thin. When I pick her up it's like I'm holding a paper doll."

Finn held him and stroked his head.

"I'm so sorry Sam."

"Me too. I mean what can I do? We've tried different treatments; she was doing better but now she got worse."

"I wish there was something I could do," Finn said.

"What you're doing now is more than enough," Sam said and

Finn nodded and kissed his cheek. Just then they heard Stevie shout out:

"Sam, I can't find my clean underwear!"

Sam laughed as he wiped away his tears.

"Be right there, Stevie!"

Once they found a pair of clean Superman briefs in the dryer, Stevie finished dressing and they returned to the kitchen and rolled out the chilled cookie dough. Stevie pressed the star shaped cookie cutter into the dough with exact precision and soon the baking sheet was covered with stars. Finn stayed a little while longer then he had to go start his shift at the garage. Sam almost hugged him but instead he held a hand to his heart and Finn did the same. Stevie watched them both with curious eyes.

"You two look like you're about to say the pledge of allegiance," he commented and began to sprinkle sugar on the cookies.

"It's a secret signal like in spy movies," Sam said. Stevie was intrigued.

"What's it mean?"

Sam and Finn gazed at each other for a moment and then Sam said:

"It means you're not alone."

Stevie shrugged his shoulders and returned to the cookies - which were far more interesting to him. Sam walked Finn to the door.

"Call me later, ok?"

"Sure thing, and I love you, Sam," Finn whispered before walking out the door.

* * *

**_Up in the Clouds_**

After the cookies were done, they wrapped them in wax paper and put them in a tin container. Sam dreaded going to the hospital; he wasn't sure if he could keep up a cheerful front. Stevie sat beside him in the car, fiddling with the radio and chatting away about nothing in particular. Then out of the blue, he said:

"Are you gonna marry Mercedes?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well you better tell Finn," Stevie said as he drummed his fingers against the window.

"Why do I need to tell Finn?"

"Because he loves you and it might make him mad," Stevie said, glancing at Sam, his eyes solemn.

"How do you know he loves me?"

"He looks at you like Dad used to look at Mom, but he doesn't look at her like that anymore," Stevie sighed then said, "He gave you your necklace, didn't he?"

Sam stopped at a red light and gripped the steering wheel.

"Yes, he gave me the necklace, but I don't want to talk about this now. We should concentrate on how we can make Stacey feel better. I know she'll like the cookies and book."

"You know Maggie has to like them too," Stevie said, referring to Stacey's beloved porcelain doll.

Sam chuckled. "Maggie will like them, don't worry."

"So is Finn your boyfriend or something?"

"Stevie, not now. I don't want to talk about that anymore!" Sam snapped.

"Gee, don't get so upset. Sorry I asked."

"Look Stevie, I'm sorry I got mad, but I really don't have the energy to discuss it. Remember we need to keep this quiet, alright?"

Stevie only nodded and they continued the trip in silence except for the radio playing golden oldies from the 70s. Sam noticed how gorgeous the weather was that day: the sun shined bright, the sky was bluer than he had ever seen it and even the air was just the right temperature. He wondered how long Stacey would be alive to enjoy days like this. When they got to the hospital, Stevie broke down crying.

"Sam, I don't want to go inside," he sobbed.

"Stevie, she needs us."

"Can't we just go home? I can't watch her die."

Sam felt helpless as he held his little brother in his arms; what was he supposed to do?

"We can't keep Stacey from dying, but we can be grateful for every day that she lives," Sam said as he stroked his brother's back, "there's not much else we can do."

"We can pray," Stevie said.

"Yes, we can pray. Never stop praying."

"I'm praying real hard, Sammy." Stevie said.

When they got out of the car, Stevie clutched his hand while Sam held the tin of cookies and the book. The children's hospital had yellow walls and pictures of clowns and teddy bears hanging up in every room. Sam would never get used to seeing the sick babies or the little kids being pushed in wheelchairs, some with no hair and others hooked up to oxygen tanks or IVs. Despite all the sickness, they were still children. You could hear their laughter echo through the hallways and if you closed your eyes you would forget that many of them were dying like Stacey. Stevie kept his head down, and Sam squeezed his hand as they got on the elevator to go to the sixth floor where Stacey's room was. When they got to her room, their mother stood in the doorway, her long blonde hair was twisted into a messy bun and her green eyes were lifeless. She hugged them both, but everything felt hollow to Sam. He awkwardly handed her the cookies and she smiled:

"Let me guess, you made her rose water sugar cookies," she said smiling at them.

"That's right, Mom, they're her favorite. Do you think she'll be able to eat them?"

She didn't answer instead she ushered them into to the room. Stacey lay in bed wrapped in her faded quilt, propped up with lots of pillows. She clutched Maggie to her side. Most of Stacey's blonde hair was gone and her pretty grayish green eyes were half closed, when she saw Sam and Stevie she opened them all the way and smiled. She tried to speak but her voice was whisper thin:

"I had a dream about you and you came."

"I dreamed about you too Stacey, we were climbing trees," Stevie said, and grabbed her hand, "we got really high and we could see inside the clouds."

"How are you feeling, sugar?" Sam said and he bent down to kiss her forehead. Ever since she was a baby, he always called her sugar because to him she was the sweetest thing in the world.

"I always feel like I'm dreaming. I never feel awake. Maggie is dreaming too."

"Hi Maggie," Sam said to the doll, taking her tiny hand in his and shaking it.

Stacey turned to Stevie.

"Aren't you going to say hello too?"

Stevie said hello to the doll and kissed her cheek. Stacey was satisfied and closed her eyes again.

"I'm happy you guys are here; we missed you."

Sam stroked her cheek, it felt slightly cold and clammy.

"Mom, why is she so cold?"

"It's the side effect of the medication."

"Well get her another blanket," Sam said touching her face again.

"Sammy, I don't need another blanket. I'll be ok."

"Guess what Stacey? we brought your favorite cookies and Sam's friend sent a present, Stevie said holding up the pink package.

"Oh, rose water cookies and a present! Can you open the gift for me?"

Stevie smiled and unwrapped the gift, handing her the book.

Their mother read the title: "The Best Loved Doll. I remember that book when I was a little girl; it was my favorite."

"It's Finn's mother's favorite book too," Sam said, "Do you like it Stacey?"

"Yes, the doll reminds me of Maggie," Stacey responded and then held the doll up to her ear.

"Maggie likes it too," She said to no one in particular, suddenly she began coughing, "Mommy, my stomach feels bad again.

Their mother quickly fetched a plastic container from the bathroom and held it up to Stacey's mouth, and she threw up into it. Sam looked away, tears streaming down his face. Stacy wheezed and vomited then leaned back onto the sea of pillows behind her.

"Sammy, don't cry," she said softly, "it doesn't hurt when I do that."

Sam turned to look at his sister, her face was pale and he could see the blue veins on her arms.

"Sugar, I'm just worried about you, are you sure it doesn't hurt?" He held her small hand in his.

"Nothing really hurts anymore," she said and closed her eyes.

Sam and Stevie held her hands until she fell asleep again. As the family watched her sleep, the door creaked open and Sam was surprised to see his Aunt Patty standing there. She came over to them giving them all hugs.

"I'm so happy to see you boys," she whispered in their ears.

"I forgot to tell you that Patty came down for a visit," their mother said.

Even though he didn't see her much growing up, Sam had always been fond of Aunt Patty. She was his mother's older sister; they looked just alike except that Patty was a big woman, and had a much more lively personality. She lived in Philadelphia with Uncle Leroy; they owned a bar and a Laundromat. They never had any kids.

By now Stevie had climbed into the bed with Stacey and clutched her hand, so Aunt Patty said to Sam: "Why not come out into hallway? I want to chat with you a little."

Sam nodded and followed her out of the room; they decided to go into the family lounge area where there was a couch, television, and vending machine. It was for people who had children staying for extended periods of time. Aunt Patty got a Snickers bar out of the vending machine.

"I need my sugar fix," she said as she unwrapped the candy bar, "Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine," Sam said and sat down on the plaid couch.

Aunt Patty smiled and sat down beside him. She wore a yellow pantsuit and a yellow rose hair clip in her long, blonde hair, her green eyes sparkled and there was a bit of red lipstick on her lips. She carried her extra weight well, and dressed with lots of confidence.

"Look at you, all grown up. Boy, I barely recognized you. Last time we saw each other you had these thick glasses and you were skinny as a reed, glad to see you filled out and got some muscles."

Sam looked down, slightly embarrassed by her praise.

"Thanks, I work out a lot and play football."

"That's good. And thank God, you don't look like Cain." Aunt Patty said before taking a bite into her candy bar, "I know most folks think your father is handsome, but well, to each his own."

"Stevie looks just like him and he's handsome."

"True, but he got the best parts of him, looks wise anyway. Now how is life treating you?"

"I don't know. Everything is such mess with Stacey and just well, I feel like I'm drowning."

Aunt Patty put her arm around him.

"I'm so glad I came when I did. Your mother sounded just awful on the phone and poor little Stacey, you know she was always fragile. Anyway, I'll do whatever I can. Lord knows, Cain is useless. I wish your mother had divorced his ass back when you were a baby like I told her to. But that's water under the bridge."

"You know when you used to come visit when I was a little kid, I wished that you were my mother."

Aunt Patty's green eyes grew wide.

"Really? Why?"

"You know how to stand up for yourself."

"Yes, Gayle never was much for fighting. She always took what was given her; that's why she got stuck in Tennessee. Cain was always such a dick and a bully; I never knew what Gayle saw in him. I ran off with Leroy, a black man and that was scandalous in those days, but I had to leave."

"How is Uncle Leroy?"

"He's doing ok, after he had hip replacement surgery we were worried for a while but now things are looking up. You know, I like your long hair for some reason, it suits you."

Sam was surprised that she liked it.

"I think it suits me too."

"And I'm sure the girls love it."

"Well the only girl I care about is my girlfriend Mercedes," Sam said, "And she likes it."

"Do you have her picture?"

Sam pulled out his cell phone and showed her his favorite picture of Mercedes sitting on a bench at the duck pond. Aunt Patty gazed at the photo and grinned.

"That's a good looking sistah, you got there, Sammy boy, she's got meat on the bone too, I always hoped you would go for a thick woman! And I love the fro, that's what attracted me to Leroy - his giant fro and bell bottom slacks!" She threw her head back and laughed, her full cheeks, flushed pink.

Sam chuckled. "She's awesome. I love her a lot."

"What about the race thing? Do you have any problems? I know things have changed _a lot_ since I was your age and I met Leroy back in 73, and here it is 2011, I hope things are better for you."

Sam shrugged. "People have said some stuff. But we ignore it."

"That's a great attitude to have. I would love to meet her."

"Maybe you can, how long will you be in town?"

"For as long as Gayle needs me."

"Ok, well, she's sick right now with a stomach thing, but when she's feeling better, I'll bring her over to the house."

"Sounds good. Now I want you to know that even though we didn't see each other much when you were growing up and I severed ties with the family for a long time, that I do love you, Sammy, you always were such a special little boy."

She hugged him close and Sam loved how fierce and strong she was.

"I love you too, Aunt Patty."

* * *

**_Baby, Can I Hold You Tonight?_**

Later that evening, Sam went to check on Mercedes. He left Stevie with Aunt Patty and his mother because he refused to leave Stacey's side; whenever, Stacey woke up, Stevie would hug her and ask her what she dreamed. Sam's heart could only take so much so he slipped out of the room and decided to go see Mercedes. She had texted him earlier to see how he was doing. When he arrived to her house, he called her to let her know he was there.

She met him at the door, wrapped in a bright blue bathrobe, her hair in two braids. Before she could even say hello, he hugged and kissed her, she clung to him, and he let his hands wander all over her soft, plush body.

"Damn, I've missed you, Cedes," he whispered.

"I've missed you too; I've been feeling you in my heart."

"Can we go upstairs? I want to hold you."

They climbed the stairs, hand in hand, and Sam felt like he was at home; that this was their house; it was an odd, comforting feeling. One that he wished was true and not some fantasy. They needed a place of their own. A home. He followed her into her bedroom. She turned to look at him and he watched as she slipped the robe from her body, revealing that she was completely nude underneath. Her eyes stays fixed on his as she opened her arms to him. Sam quickly undressed and together they got under the covers, wrapping their arms around each other.

"I needed this," Sam murmured, pulling her close to him, he held her so tight, that Mercedes whispered:

"I'm gonna stay right here in your arms, baby, don't worry."

They kissed and Sam tugged on her braids while she ran her hands through his hair, taking out his ponytail and letting it hang free.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"Much better. You and Finn took really good care of me."

"We'll always take care of you."

"I know that now. I love you."

"I love you too."

They fell silent. Sam's hands explored her body, gliding along every dip and curve. He only wanted to hold her, just hold her close and make sure she was real.

"I don't know if I can…"

"Sam, I'm not expecting anything else. How is Stacey?"

"She says she's always dreaming."

"Dreams are nice," Mercedes whispered into the darkness, the only light in the room came from the street lamp shining through her bedroom window.

"I know but I want her awake and alive. She's slipping from us and I don't have the power to pull her back, Cedes, I'm fucking useless."

Mercedes tightened her hold on him.

"Sam, you are far from useless. Every time you go to see Sugar, I know that gives her a little bit of strength, and gets her through another day. I don't know if it's enough to keep her alive for a long time, but at least you have another day."

"And when she dies?"

"You will have to grieve and then try to celebrate her life, if that's possible. I hate to think of that child dying."

"Me too."

He kissed Mercedes again, and cried into her neck.

"What's the point of all this Cedes? Sugar, hasn't been here long enough to do anything. She's just a little girl who loves an old porcelain doll and likes to climb trees."

Mercedes ran her hands through his hair and sighed.

"I don't know, baby, I wish I knew."

"I have something to tell you."

"What's that?"

"Stevie figured out about Finn. He knows we love each other."

Mercedes giggled.

"How did that happen?"

Sam told her about everything that happened that day, including Finn's surprise visit with the gift for Stacey, when he was done, Mercedes said:

"At least he won't tell. But eventually your parents will have to know. And so do mine."

"I know. I plan to tell my mother first. I could care less about my Dad; he's already labeled me a fag anyway."

"Yeah, but you're living under his roof. He might kick you out."

Sam nodded. "I thought of that but I'll worry about it when the time comes."

"What does Rosa think?"

"She thinks I should definitely come clean about everything at least to my mother anyway. Cedes, I just want to say that Rosa is like a life saver, thank you again for encouraging me to see her."

"No need to thank me, I'm just glad you're getting help. We both are."

"Oh, by the way, my Aunt Patty is in town and she wants to meet you. I showed her your picture and she said you were pretty."

"Who's Aunt Patty? You've never mentioned her before."

"It's my mother's older sister. I didn't see her much growing up, but I've always liked her. She's really cool; I know you will like each other."

"I would love to meet her."

"Good," Sam said kissing her lips.

Mercedes snuggled against him.

"I'm worried about you Sam, you have so much going on."

"I know but I have two awesome people that love me and for that I'm grateful."

"You're awesome too Sam. Hey, I got an idea, what do you say we have a barbeque?"

"A barbeque? Why?"

"I don't know. I just want to do something that would bring our friends together."

"Who would you invite?"

"Not many people. Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, Santana, and that guy you work with at the deli, what's his name again?"

"Dylan? You want to invite him, why?"

"You said he wanted to hang out with us and you like him, right?"

"Yeah, he's a cool guy."

"There you go, that's the guest list."

"Sounds like a plan and I like the idea as long as I'm in charge of the grill."

"Consider yourself in charge, Mr. Evans," Mercedes laughed, her voice echoing off the walls.

Sam held her close and kissed her again and she moaned into his mouth.

"I could kiss you forever," he whispered against her lips.

"I wouldn't mind if you did," she said.

Soon they fell asleep and Sam dreamed that he was back in Tennessee with his family. Stevie and Stacey wanted to climb the tallest tree in the woods behind their house, so he went with them, and together they climbed the tree, branch by branch until they almost touched the sky. Stacey was healthy and her eyes shined bright. Then she slipped and fell and Sam reached out for her, her small hand touched his briefly but she wasn't able to hold on. Stevie was screaming, and Sam kept reaching for her, but suddenly Stacey wasn't falling at all - she was flying, and she grabbed their hands and they flew with her, up in the clouds across the universe.

"Sugar, I didn't know you could fly!" Sam shouted.

Stacey only laughed and pulled them along.

"I talk to angels, Sammy, don't you?"

When Sam woke up, he listened to Mercedes breathing and saw the faint rosy light of the sunrise.

* * *

**End Notes**: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**Summary: **Mercedes reveals a past secret to Sam; Sam and Mercedes surprise Finn with lunch because they miss him since he's working double shifts; Stacey's health gets worse and Sam and his family need a miracle

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** This chapter is dark and hopeful all at once. I touch on a lot of subjects but it isn't all doom and gloom. Strong Sexual Content. Strong Language. Discussion of colorism and weight issues. Please read with discretion.

**Author's Note:** I want to thank everyone for taking the time to review this story; it means a lot to me that somebody out there is reading and reviewing it! Please excuse any errors.

* * *

**_Loving the Pain Away_**

Mercedes woke to find Sam staring at her. She touched his face and he smiled a little, his eyes were misty and she brushed away the small tear that was about to slip down his pale cheek. His cock pressed against her thigh, fully erect. The room was silent except for the faint ticking of the antique cherry wood clock she had on her dresser; the morning sun shined on their bodies and for the first time Mercedes realized that Sam had pulled away the covers, he stroked her hips, letting his fingers dip into the slight grooves of her light brown stretch marks, his hair hung loosely around his shoulders. With each gentle touch, Mercedes felt her need increase, a slick wetness gathered between her plump thighs.

She shifted so that she covered him completely, taking him inside her, pushing herself downward, then gently swaying her hips, there were no words, only soft moans and gasps between them, and Mercedes was reaching for him, trying to pull him back to her, away from all those things he carried on his shoulders. He grabbed her hips and held on tight, following her movements, and together they were finding that place where everything was safe and familiar like the first time they kissed under the stars, or when they fell in love with Finn in the greenhouse on that hot summer day; she clutched her huge breasts between her small hands and held them to his mouth, he sucked her big thick nipples, tugging them between his perfect white teeth; and then he took control, gripping her wide hips and, guiding her deeper and deeper... Mercedes wanted him to reach that place where hospitals didn't exist and death was just a myth.

She kissed and licked his muscular chest, teasing his hard pink nipples with her tongue; then she gently sucked that sensitive spot on his neck right below his ear, leaving a passion mark on his damp skin, a purplish bruise that claimed him as her own. Sam gasped and shivered, his back arching off the bed. Then she pressed a soft kiss to that faint, slightly raised scar on his right arm, the one his father left when he was 8 years old because he forgot his bible verse in Sunday school. Sam's eyes filled with tears when she did this and she knew he understood what she was trying to do: love away the pain. Mercedes felt beautiful riding him, throwing her head back, she bit her lip, crying out. She squeezed his cock so sweetly, nice and tight was her fit, and he panted beneath her, slapping her generous ass with his callused hands giving her that pleasant stinging sensation she often craved during their love making.

Each thrust was like a light that guided them together, she gazed down into his green eyes and he was crying, not sad or happy tears, but just letting out everything he carried inside him, and those tears touched her heart, then he looked up at her and smiled, his face flushed red, and together they reached that bliss, shaking, moaning ... she didn't scream, it was more like a soft whimpering cry and Sam came with her as she lay on top of him. Then everything was still and she felt his heartbeat. He held her close, his breath in her ear. They stayed silent as they caressed one another, and they exchanged long, deep kisses and then Sam shifted her to his side and he held her face in his hands, staring at her. There was just this moment, this room, with their bodies pressed together and for now that had to be enough because what existed beyond the walls that surrounded them was too much to bear.

Sam settled his full lips onto hers before pulling away and rising from the bed, he lifted her into his strong arms and carried her to the bathroom where he turned on the shower and they stepped inside. He washed her body, his hands gliding along her wet flesh, and she savored each touch. Sam was meticulous with the task, scrubbing every part of her carefully, lifting each of her heavy breasts and washing the crevices. He then unbraided her hair and grabbed the shampoo from the shower caddy, he positioned her directly under the showerhead, and squirted the peppermint scented shampoo into her dense, kinky curls, she closed her eyes as his fingertips massaged her scalp, the fresh minty aroma, tingling her nostrils. When he was done, he thoroughly rinsed her hair, making certain no suds were left in her springy curls; then he put in the creamy conditioner, waiting a few minutes and then carefully rinsing it out.

She smiled to herself remembering how she once explained to him that rinsing her hair took extra time due to the thickness, he must have listened because he really made sure nothing was left in her hair and that the water ran clear when he was finished. Every now and then he would stop and kiss her, not only on the lips but other places too; no body part was neglected of a kiss or gentle caress. He loved her everywhere. For a few moments, his large hands rested on her soft, abundant belly, a faint smile forming on the corners of his mouth and she knew he was thinking about all of their future babies growing inside her. She placed her hands on top of his and they just gazed at each other. Sam looked so gorgeous under the shower spray, the droplets of water clung to his torso, getting lost in the ridges of his perfect abs.

She reached for him, but he gently stopped her eager hands and then he knelt before her and wrapped his arms around her thick thighs, pressing his lips against her mound, giving her a sweet kiss, and Mercedes ran her hands through his long, blonde hair twisting the tangled wet locks around her fingers. As he kissed her again, she felt his hot breath against her clit and she moaned as her body crept toward that familiar nirvana, a wonderful bliss that coursed through her whenever he began to push her over the brink. Then he slipped his fingers inside her and it only took a few strokes before her knees buckled and she almost came crashing down onto the floor, but Sam's grip was a tight one and he held onto her - he would never let her fall. Then he looked up at her, water running over his face, his green eyes brighter than she had ever seen them. She slowly sank down to where he knelt before her and pulled him in for a kiss, and she tasted herself on his lips, along with the unique saltiness of his skin. This beautiful boy, soon to be man, loved her completely and she was his forever.

* * *

**_Skin Deep_**

While Sam was downstairs in the kitchen cooking them breakfast, Mercedes was in her bedroom closet, about to step on the scale. She used to keep it in the bathroom like most people, but Sam and Finn gave her such a hard time about it because they hated how she fretted over her weight, telling her that every pound of her was beautiful. While this lifted her wounded spirit, reality finally set in. In three more weeks, her parents would be coming home from Kenya with tales of dying children and National Geographic commentary on the beautiful wildlife. The reason they were in Kenya was to assist in opening up free medical clinics, a cause that Mercedes admired but felt slightly resentful of.

The bathroom wasn't the only place her mother had put a scale; there was one in the kitchen, living room, and the home gym in the basement. Finn almost tripped over the one in the kitchen and Sam put it in the hall closet, shaking his head at the absurdity. Before they could say anything about the living room scale, she put it away in the closet under the stairs. But all of the scales would have to return once Dr. Grace Jones came home; the reason she put them in the kitchen and living room was because those were the rooms Mercedes ate the most. Her mother reasoned that if she stepped on the scale before grabbing a bag of chips, then she would be less likely to eat junk.

Mercedes took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stepped onto the digital scale, the numbers quickly calculated and she was surprised that she had lost 12 pounds. Her mother would be pleased or at least she hoped so. The reason for the weight loss wasn't because of dieting; it was because she was so worried about Sam and then she got that stomach virus, so her appetite had decreased a lot.

"Cedes?"

Mercedes jumped at the sound of Sam's deep voice, she turned around and found him standing in the closet doorway.

"Yes?"

"I came to tell you that breakfast is ready. I made us spinach omelettes," he pointed to the scale, "What are you doing?"

She hesitated then said:

"I'm weighing myself."

He shook his head.

"Why?"

"Sam, I really don't need for you to give me a hard time about this, ok? I have to do this."

He held out his hand to her. "Come here."

She took his hand and he led her out of the closet; he sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled her down onto his lap.

"I want you to tell me about all of this weight stuff."

Mercedes rested her head on his strong shoulder, inhaling his scent of peppermint shampoo and cocoa butter body wash; she chuckled to herself, it was funny to smell her products on his skin. He liked the shampoo a lot and said it made his scalp tingle.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed and held her close.

"I want to know everything. Like why there were scales everywhere, and all that diet crap in the freezer, and even about this whole light skin/dark skin thing, which isn't about weight, but I want to understand or at least try to anyway. I love you, Cedes, and whatever hurts you, hurts me too."

"Sam, you are going through so much right now. I don't want to add anything else to your load. This stuff between me and my mother goes back a long way; it's not something that can be fixed anytime soon, if ever."

Sam kissed her cheek and said: "Baby, I'm not trying to fix anything. I just want to understand better. I feel like there's this part of you that I don't know. And you're right, I am going through a lot right now, but that doesn't mean that your pain should be ignored. Like Finn said, we share each other's burdens. All I know is that I see a beautiful, kind, caring girl who is so blind to her own worth and beauty, it breaks my heart, but what's even worse is that I feel like your mother is the cause."

Mercedes traced the calluses on his hands, she kept her eyes focused on his hands because it was easier that way.

"My mother was born beautiful, and what I mean is that she's like the classic standard of beauty. Tall, willowy, long hair, creamy skin – those traits are praised in her family. The Baptiste sisters were known for their beauty and intelligence. Men chased them. Women hated them. Teachers adored them. That's all she knows. Anyway, when I was born, I didn't look like her at all, and at family gatherings, people whispered about it. Could I really be Grace Baptiste's daughter, I was too big, my features too broad, Hell, I was just too much. Sometimes I think I embarrassed her. But there's even something worse than that."

"What's worse?"

Mercedes got off his lap and went to the foot of her bed and opened up her hope chest that had been passed down in the Baptiste family for at least two generations, it was solid oak and had beautiful carvings of stars and flowers on the top, inside the chest, each previous owner had her name carved inside; Mercedes' name came right after someone who haunted her existence. She pulled out a heavy gray metal box from underneath the fluffy quilts, silk handkerchiefs, and embroidered sheets. Her heart pounded in her ears; this was the first time she ever shared this with anyone. She settled herself on his lap again and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against him. Sam was so kind and loving that it brought tears to her eyes. She took a few deep breaths.

"Cedes, you ok?"

"Yeah, just give me a second. This is something that I've never shared and it's really hard that's all."

Sam only nodded and kissed her lips.

"Just take your time. And remember, I love you no matter what. Never doubt that."

Mercedes hands shook as she opened the box. Inside there was a faded red photo album, a VHS videotape, newspaper clippings, a monogrammed silver comb, a gold locket, a pink diary, and a lock of wavy brown hair tied with a red ribbon. She picked up the videotape and handed it to Sam.

"Could you please turn on the TV on my dresser, and put this in the VCR?" They often joked about how Mercedes still had a VCR.

Sam looked at her for a moment and then did as she asked. Then he sat back down on the bed and pressed play with the remote before pulling her back onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her protectively.

The screen flickered a bit. Then a pink bedroom came into view, but the picture was a bit blurry; a few voices could be heard in the background. The date in the corner of the screen was September 14, 1994.

"Mom, that's not how you do it, you push this button to focus," it was a young girl's voice.

"Amelia, I know what I am doing. Go sit on the bed. I have to be back at the hospital soon," a woman answered.

Suddenly the bedroom came into focus and a pretty little girl sat down on the pink canopy bed; she had long, brown hair, big gray eyes, and a creamy complexion with rosy cheeks. She wore faded jeans with holes in the knees and a white Boyz II Men t-shirt.

Sam paused the video. "Mercedes, what is this?"

"Baby, just watch, you'll see" she whispered leaning against him.

Sam pressed play and they resumed watching the video in silence.

"Hi Antoinette, I'm Amelia and I'm going to be your big sister. We thought we would make a video with each person in the family to let you know how much we already love you and you aren't even born yet! Anyway, I'm an only child now but I'm so happy that you're coming." She smiled brightly, then opened her arms, "This is my room. I love the color pink, Boyz II Men, and my favorite movie is the Lion King. I also like TLC but Mom says their song Ain't Too Proud to Beg is bad and – "

"Amelia Arianna Jones, that is a _very bad_ song. Now stay on track," her mother interjected.

Amelia giggled. "Sorry, about that. Anyway, Antoinette, I'm going to teach you everything you need to know. I get straight As at school so you should listen to me. I'm 10 years old and in 5th grade at Lima Elementary School. Next year I start junior high and I'm so excited! I have a boyfriend named Nathan but he's getting on my nerves" she paused then exclaimed, "Oh, I have something for you!"

Suddenly, Amelia jumped off the bed. The camera followed her to her dresser and she opened up a white jewelry box and pulled out a gold locket holding it up for the camera.

"Get a close up, Mom," she says, swinging the locket in front of her.

The camera zoomed in on the locket.

"This is a locket I picked out for you," Amelia explained, "And you see it has your initials on it, MAJ. You know Mom, she's going to be confused, we keep calling her Antoinette. Dad has already named her Mercedes."

"She won't be confused. Antoinette is her middle name and besides it sounds better and that's what we're calling her."

Amelia shrugged and smiled at the camera.

"Don't be confused Antoinette. Whatever I end up calling you, I'll love you no matter what. You're my little sister and I will always look out for you. Mom did you want to say something?"

There was a brief rustling and suddenly Grace Jones appeared next to Amelia, smiling into the camera. She was very pregnant, her belly protruding in front of her; she wore a green maternity dress and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her gray eyes sparkled.

"Hi Antoinette, I'm your mother and I love you. I can't wait to have you and we are going to be a very happy family, I promise. As you can see, you will be here any day now," Grace said pointing to her big belly, "And all of us are so excited! I'll have a longer talk with you later, but right now we have to go."

As they waved at the camera, a loud male voice grumbled off screen:

"I knew you guys would start without me; I said that child's name was Mercedes!"

Amelia laughed, "Oh, Daddy, calm down. We'll figure it out. Don't mind him, little sister, he's a big softy, I swear!"

That was the end of the tape.

Mercedes sat there emotionless, her body numb. Sam turned to her and said:

"What happened to your sister?"

"About two days after that tape was made, my mother went into labor with me, and on the way to the hospital, a drunk driver hit my family's minivan, Amelia died instantly, my mother and father survived and she ended up having me on the freeway; it was on the news and everything."

"Baby, I'm so sorry, but why have you kept this a secret?"

Mercedes sighed. "My family doesn't like to talk about her - especially my mother. After she had me, things sort of went downhill. I mean you lose one daughter and have the other in the same day. It's just too much. But she wants me to be Amelia and I'm not. I can never be her. Sometimes, she would call me Amelia by mistake. She even kept all of her clothes and tried to get me to wear them but none of them fit, I was too big. Then she started yelling at me to lose weight and -"

Mercedes couldn't take it anymore and she began sobbing, all the pain erupted and she cried harder than she ever had. This was the first time she had ever spoken of her dead sister. And Sam held her as she cried, whispering comforting words, and rocking her in his arms.

"Oh God, Sam, I'm so angry! Angry at her for dying and angry at my mother for wanting me to take her place. I get straight As, I try to be a good person, I love with my whole heart and somehow that's not enough. But you should see how she looks at me, like she's trying to fix everything, trying to figure out how on God's green earth she ended up with a daughter like me when she had someone as perfect as Amelia!"

Mercedes didn't expect Sam to have any answers because there were none to be had. He continued to hold her and tell her no matter what her mother or anyone said she was still an awesome human being, and Mercedes took comfort in his words.

"What about your father?" Sam asked.

"He's useless. I know that sounds harsh but he is. We were really close when I was a little girl, but we drifted away from each other. I don't know what happened there. He never stepped in when my mother was sending me to fat camp and letting me know I never measured up – he was too wrapped up in his dental practice to pay attention. I know that he loves me but it's really too late for him to fix anything. Everything is just broken. I always wonder what would have happened if that drunk driver hadn't hit my family that day. Would we all be happy? Would my mother treat me better?"

"Baby, I wish I knew," Sam said.

"My mother never said she wished that I was lighter but sometimes her family would comment on my complexion and ask why I spent so much time in the sun. And they would always say the same thing: 'you're nothing like Amelia.' My mother never told them to leave me alone or that I was beautiful the way I was. I got those lightening creams because I thought the more I resembled my dead sister, the easier it would be for her to love me. But the weight, well, that's a lot harder to do. I know that she loved Amelia for other reasons besides the fact that she looked like her; but she wants me to be her and I can't do it. I've tried and it doesn't work."

"Anytime you try to be anyone other than who you are, it never works," Sam said, holding her close and kissing her cheek.

"I know, sweetie, I guess I just wanted her to love me. Did you see how happy she was in the video before I was born? She loved me then. What was her reaction when they pulled me from the womb? I feel like I disappointed her without even trying."

"So much happened to your family that day. I can't even imagine giving birth to a child on the same day the other one was killed. You're right it is too much."

"That's why we don't celebrate my birthday."

"Really?"

"Yeah, on my birthday my mother goes away and spends a weekend by herself in the country. We can't contact her unless it's an emergency."

"Wow," Sam said.

"I know. And my Dad just gives me cash stuffed in a fancy Hallmark card."

"Cedes, how come nobody knows about Amelia? All of your friends have lived in Lima all their lives; I'm sure their parents know – you said it was on the news."

"Well, think about it, this happened the year most of us were born, it's not like our parents are going to bring it up unless they had a reason to. And you have to remember, I didn't become friends with any of them until we got to high school and I joined Glee club. You know it still amazes me that Finn and I ended up together; we barely spoke growing up and our only interaction was when he was defending me from bullies. He was totally in love with Quinn even when we were little kids."

Sam hugged her close and said:

"Quinn is like the ballerina in the Steadfast Tin Soldier, pretty to admire from a far but not much there when you get down to it."

"I may not be Quinn's biggest fan but even I think that's a little harsh."

"It may be harsh, but it's the truth."

"She's a dream girl," Mercedes said, gazing into Sam's green eyes.

"Yeah, she's a dream girl, but like all dreams you eventually have to wake up and when you do, it's not always pretty."

Mercedes pulled away from him a little and held his handsome face in her hands:

"What kind of girl am I?"

"You're the everything girl. The reality and the dream."

"I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, Cedes, and thank you for opening up to me. That's a lot to keep inside you."

"It is," she admitted, "So now do you understand about the weight thing a little more?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I do, but I still don't like it."

"Would it matter to you if I lost weight?"

"No, it wouldn't matter, baby, I just don't like you doing something like this for the wrong reasons, both Finn and I wish you felt better about yourself, stop trying to be someone else."

"Ok, what if I were doing it for the right reasons, say like my health?"

He shrugged. "Then I would be all for it. I don't care about your size, Cedes, I love you for who you are, not because of a number on a scale. Right now, I think you're gorgeous, but if losing weight makes you happy and you're doing it for you and not to fit some stupid mold, then I'll support you all the way. The reason I hate diets is because sometimes it makes people try to reach ridiculous standards."

"Says the man who has abs that could cut glass," Mercedes said, running her hands across his tight, chiseled stomach.

"Yes, I like having the body that I have, but I don't expect the same of every one, and you know beauty is only skin deep, what's on the inside means a hell of a lot more than what's on the outside. My father is living proof of that."

"That's true. But most guys don't think like you do, or if they do, they're my Dad's age, which is why people don't understand why we're together."

Sam shook his head sadly. "People don't understand why we're together because their narrow minded and I don't have time to dwell on their bullshit, I'm too busy loving the most incredible girl in the world."

Mercedes kissed him, her tongue reaching far into his hot mouth and he reciprocated with just as much fervor, the kiss grew heated and soon Sam was tugging on her purple lace panties.

"I need you again," he breathed as he pushed her onto the bed, and removed her underwear, he quickly slipped out of his boxers, exposing his beautiful cock, which was thick and hard.

"What about breakfast?" Mercedes asked as he pushed himself inside her, she hissed through her teeth as he filled her up, stretching her. His blonde hair tickled her shoulders as he leaned forward, covering her voluptuous, soft body with his hard one.

"I've got something else for you to eat," Sam said, raising his eyebrows and giving her a wicked grin.

"I'm sure you do," she said smiling up at him.

"Besides, I need to be inside you, I can never get enough of your sweet pussy," Sam said as he drove himself into her and she met each thrust.

Mercedes kept her eyes on his, and knew the ride would be fast, sweet, and satisfying, Sam had foregone any foreplay and was going in for that instant quickie gratification.

"Yeah just like that, baby, keep on squeezing my dick, like that," he moaned, "Shit, your pussy is tight, just give it me, Cedes…"

Sam was slamming into her and it was so good, Mercedes just let herself be taken with each aggressive thrust as he pummeled her. She squeezed his hard ass, and pushed him even further inside her if that was even possible.

All too soon, they were coming together, with Sam's warm, thick cum, filling her and sliding down her thighs. She cried out at how wonderful it all felt and Sam nuzzled her neck. Then he looked at her with a worried expression:

"Baby, was I too rough, I'm sorry I got carried away and…"

Mercedes placed her hand over his mouth.

"Sam, you were great as usual. You weren't too rough at all. I liked it."

"I didn't exactly warm you up."

She laughed. "It was a quickie, there are no warm ups," she stroked his cheek and said, "Now, Iay back so I can get my breakfast treat," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"You're still hard, and we need to take care of that, besides you said you had something else for me to eat, unless you're taking back your offer," she said, her inner diva surfacing.

Sam grinned. "By all means," he replied and lay back with his hard cock waiting for her.

Mercedes quickly took him in her mouth and he groaned, she loved making him feel good. His cock tasted good and she took him as far as she could without gagging, bobbing her head earnestly, while playing with his balls.

"Cedes, baby," he moaned.

She kept up the pace, hoping her jaw wouldn't get tired, and continued sucking his long, hot shaft.

"Uh, oh, your little mouth feels so good on my big dick, Cedes, oh God, please, oh you're sucking me so good … feels like I'm gonna come.

She stopped for a moment, his cock popped out of her mouth.

"So come, I ain't stopping you, Mr. Evans," she said and took him into her mouth again, and a few seconds later he exploded into her mouth and she swallowed it all.

Sam pulled her up toward him and kissed her hard, letting his hands roam up and down her smooth back before settling on her cushiony ass, and squeezing each cheek.

When they broke the kiss, he was barely breathing, his eyes were lustful.

"That was awesome, Cedes, I love you so much, you give your whole heart each time you love me and I can't even tell you how much that means to me. And what you did for me earlier this morning was beyond awesome too."

"I love you, Sam, and of course you have my whole heart. I don't go halfway either."

Sam smiled and held her close, but then his mood changed and he became somber.

"I want you to talk to your mother about all the stuff you told me today. I know it might not change things, but she needs to know how her treatment ruined your self-esteem."

Mercedes kissed his heart and said.

"I'll talk to her. It's been a long time coming."

"And when it happens, please let me know how it went. Are you going to tell her about me and Finn?"

"Yes, I love you both and you're a part of me. I don't know how she will take it. My father might have a heart attack."

They exchanged soft kisses and murmured words of love to each other. Then Mercedes noticed that it was almost noon and she got an idea.

"I know that both of us have been missing Finn since he's been working all those extra shifts at the garage. Let's surprise him and take him lunch. You can make that chicken salad he loves so much."

Sam kissed her forehead.

"That sounds like a great idea and then afterwards we can go to the hospital to check on Stacey."

"Ok, it's a plan, now we should wash up and get dressed, and no funny business Sam," she said as he lowered his head and took her thick nipple between his big lips and sucked, "What funny business, Miss Jones, ain't nothing going on but the rent."

Mercedes fell back on the bed and laughed at his use of 80s slang; he really needed to stop listening to old school R&B. Then he took more of her breast into his eager mouth and she closed her eyes and sighed. This boy did her in once again.

* * *

**_Blue Roses_**

Finn was just finishing up changing the oil on a Toyota when he looked up and saw his entire world walk through the door. Mercedes and Sam came breezing in carrying a picnic basket, bright smiles on their beautiful faces and for Finn, nothing else existed except the two of them in that moment when their eyes met his. He wiped his hands on a rag and walked over to them, wanting desperately to hold them in his arms, but he reeked of motor oil. So he kissed each of them on the lips instead. Mercedes wore his favorite red sundress, the one that hugged her in all the right places and Sam looked handsome in his jeans and green polo shirt that brought out the green in his eyes.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked.

"We miss you, Finn, so we decided to bring you lunch; do you have time to eat with us?" Mercedes asked, her eyes hopeful.

"Of course, I do, I was just about to take a break anyway. Why don't we sit out on the deck in the back yard?"

"Sure, we'll meet you out there," Sam said and taking Mercedes' hand, they went outside.

Finn went into the tiny bathroom in the garage and took off his coveralls and washed his hands. He combed his hair and stared at his reflection. For a second, he questioned what they saw in a big oaf like him, but then he chased the thought away. They loved him and that was enough. He smiled at his reflection and walked out into the back yard. Sam was taking out the sandwiches and Mercedes was filling paper cups with sweet tea. Finn was glad that his mother let Burt splurge on new patio furniture; it was a nice Brazilian wood set complete with a table, chairs and a couple of recliners. It was a far cry from the rickety picnic table they had before.

"Where is everybody?" Mercedes asked as she handed him his drink.

"Mom's at work. Burt went upstairs for a minute, and Kurt dragged Blaine to some vintage clothing shop in West Lima, why?"

"We brought a lot of food; so if anyone wants to join us if they can. And everybody loves Sam's chicken salad."

Just then Burt came out onto the deck, smiling broadly, his white t-shirt tucked carelessly into his jeans.

"Hey there, Miss Lady," he said, reaching down, kissing Mercedes on the cheek, "Don't you look pretty in red. These boys treating you right?"

"Yes, they are, and thank you. Would you like to join us for lunch? There's plenty of food. We've been missing Finn so we came over."

"I'd love to join you," Burt said, sitting down beside Sam, he turned and shook his hand, "How you doing there, Sam?"

"I'm good Mr. Hummel, how are you?"

"Can't complain, Finn has been really helping me out. I had a few setbacks, but things will turn around soon and you all will be able to see each other more."

"Burt, you know I don't mind working these extra hours," Finn said.

"I know you don't son, but you need to have fun when you can, like we talked about."

After everyone had a sandwich and drink and chips in front of them; Burt picked up his sandwich, but Finn grabbed his hand, startling him a bit.

"We like to say grace before we eat. You don't mind do you?" Sam asked.

Burt blushed. "You know that's really nice. Of course I don't mind. Please do."

They all held hands and Sam said the blessing. After he said amen, they began eating their sandwiches, murmuring about how good they were. Finn loved being surrounded by his family like this and he couldn't keep a grin off of his face. The faint scent of roses wafted over them every time the wind blew; the sun shined bright and there wasn't a cloud in the postcard perfect blue sky, and Finn's heart was filled with gratitude.

"Thank you both so much for coming. I missed you too," he said and he reached over and kissed Sam and Mercedes on the cheek. It felt good to be open about their relationship in front of Burt. Why should he be ashamed of those he held close to his heart? Burt smiled at the brief exchange of affection.

"So Sam, are you still working over at Chang's Deli?"

"Yes I am, I really like Mr. Chang."

Burt nodded and took another bite of his sandwich. "He's a great guy. I think he's been living in Lima almost as long as I have. You know I'm sorry about your sister; has her condition improved?"

Sam stared down at the table for a moment then responded:

"She's stable but not much improvement. All of us are praying. If you could too, my family would appreciate it."

Burt reached over and squeezed Sam's hand. "You're already in my thoughts, so I'll just put you in my prayers too, that's no problem at all."

Sam gave him a grateful smile, and Finn put his arm around Sam and hugged him to his side. "Are you going to the hospital today?"

"Yeah, me and Cedes are headed over there after we finish lunch."

"Let me know the minute anything changes, ok?"

"I will I promise," Sam said.

Finn turned his attention to Mercedes. "You're awfully quiet, angel."

"Oh, I'm fine. Just enjoying being here with you," she said and kissed his cheek.

Finn felt that familiar tingle in his belly; he looked into her pretty brown eyes and said, "You're wearing my favorite dress."

She giggled. "I know. I'm glad you noticed."

"How could I not notice? You look gorgeous, Mercy."

She flustered a little, looking away from him in that shy way of hers that made his heart melt, he gently put his hand under her chin and turned her to face him, "I meant what I just said, so I hope you own it." Then he kissed her on the lips.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear, before pulling away.

Burt couldn't give Sam enough praise about his chicken salad.

"What's your secret?"

"You have to slow roast the chicken first at a low temperature, and then season it with salt, pepper, and rosemary. I like to use garlic too."

Burt took another bite of his sandwich and said, "You should have your own cooking show on that Food Network."

Sam laughed. "Well, I don't think I'm good enough for that, but my Grandma was, she could cook circles around anybody. She died a few years ago."

Finn felt a pang of sadness when Sam mentioned his grandmother because during his breakdown, he confessed that he never got a chance to say good-bye to her. He reached over and held Sam's hand. Sam gave him a sad smile and said:

"It's ok, Finn."

Finn squeezed his hand and resumed eating.

"Hey Sam, what brand are these? I've never tasted such good chips," Burt asked as he popped one into his mouth.

"I made the chips," Sam said.

"My goodness, you can make potato chips? How?"

Sam gave a modest shrug. "It's not that hard. You just need a mandolin slicer and a frying pan, some salt and pepper."

Burt was confused. "Since when can a guitar slice potatoes?"

Sam smiled. "A mandolin slicer cuts potatoes really thin, it's not a guitar. You can get a cheap one at Target."

Burt raised his eyebrows. "Good to know. I really think you should have your own cooking show. You definitely have the talent for it. I mean I love that Kurt can make fancy stuff, but I much prefer regular food like this, not everybody can get into escargot, you know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean," Finn said and reached over planting a kiss on Sam's temple.

A faint rosy blush crept into his Sam's pale cheeks. "Thanks Mr. Hummel, I'm glad you're enjoying lunch."

When everyone was finished with their sandwiches and chips, Mercedes said:

"Finn, we brought you a surprise for dessert." She reached into the basket and pulled out a strawberry amaretto cake filled with amaretto cream.

"Wow, you guys made my favorite cake!"

Mercedes laughed. "Well, I didn't make the cake, I only cut up the strawberries; the master chef over here did all the work."

"Master chef is right, cut me a big piece, will you Mercy?" Finn said eager to dig into the cake, for him the first bite was always the best.

Finn felt like it was Christmas morning as he savored the first bite of that delicious cake, the strawberries were ripe and sweet and the amaretto cream was lighter than air.

"Finn, don't tell Carol I said this, but this is way better than our wedding cake," Burt said as he took another bite of cake.

"Your secret is safe with me," Finn said.

Mercedes rummaged around in her purse and pulled out a bottle of pills and a small tube of cream. She handed one of the pills to Sam.

"Here, sweetheart, it's time for your iron tablet," she said.

"Thanks, Cedes," he said and immediately took it with his sweet tea.

She then unscrewed the cap on the cream and squirted a little onto her hands and spread it on his cheeks.

"Your eczema is starting to flare up again," she murmured quietly and he kissed her forehead as she patiently rubbed the cream into his cheeks.

Finn enjoyed watching them like this, it made him so happy that all of them took care of each other. They brought him his favorite lunch and she wore that killer red sundress just for him; he was a lucky guy. Burt must have thought so too because he said:

"You boys better not let this fine girl go. Take it from me, I know a good woman when I see it, and Miss Mercedes is pure gold," he said.

Mercedes' eyes shined with tears.

"Thank you, Mr. Hummel, that was a wonderful thing to say."

"I only speak the truth, but you are very welcome."

"We don't plan on letting her go, Burt," Finn said as he put his arm around her.

Sam agreed. "No sir, we would have to be insane to let go of her, she means the world to us."

Mercedes wore a smile that was brighter than he had ever seen and Finn couldn't have been happier; Burt was right, their girl was pure gold.

The rest of lunch was spent laughing and joking with one another. Every now and then, Finn would pull either Sam or Mercedes toward him for a kiss or to simply hold their hands. He missed them a lot and this time spent with them felt amazing. Burt excused himself after awhile, saying he had to get started on fixing a muffler. When he was gone, Finn said to them:

"You guys want to see the blue roses my mother just planted?"

"Sure, I love roses," Mercedes said.

Finn put one arm around Mercedes and the other around Sam and the three of them walked over to his mother's flower garden at the far end of the yard, he noticed that both of them smelled like peppermint.

"Ok, why do the two of you smell like you just ate a bag of mints?"

"Does it bother you?" Mercedes asked.

"No, baby, it doesn't bother me, but I am curious."

"It's kind of a long story but to make it short. We used the same shampoo this morning." Sam said.

Finn couldn't help to feel a little jealous when he heard this. He missed those morning showers with them, and part of him wished that Burt and his mom would go on another extended vacation. As if sensing something was wrong, Sam said:

"I was only over there last night because I checked on Cedes and we ended up falling asleep. I had to call my Mom and she wasn't thrilled about it but she's too worried about Stacey right now to care much. We do miss you Finn and we love you very much."

Finn hugged them close to his heart.

"I know you do. I'm fine. I just miss the time the three of us shared together that's all. When we would wake up together. And it's been awhile since we all… well, you know."

They continued on to the flower garden and once they got to the rose bushes and were hidden from view, Sam kissed Finn's neck while Mercedes kissed his lips, their hands roamed beneath his t-shirt, stroking his chest, lightly touching his nipples.

"Mercy, Sam, you guys, we can't go much further as much as I want to." Finn said, gasping for breath, their touches were like fire on his skin.

"We know," Mercedes whispered before kissing him again, "We just want you to know that you are a apart of us. We're connected, ok?"

"Cedes is right, babe, so don't ever let those doubts cross your mind," Sam said and kissed his lips.

Finn only nodded and the three of them embraced, he wanted to feel their bodies pressed against his, and he held onto them tightly, not ever wanting to let go.

"At least all of us taste like strawberries and amaretto cream," Finn said with a chuckle.

"That's true," Sam said laughing.

Finn pointed to the new rose bush.

"There's the blue roses," he said to them.

"They're beautiful, Finn," Mercedes said, her face glowed and right then and there he made a mental note to buy her a dozen blue roses, just so he could see her eyes shine like that again.

"I wish I could give you one, but my Mom would kill me if I cut any of her flowers," Finn said.

"That's ok, baby, I'm glad you showed them to us," Mercedes said, patting his shoulder.

"They are nice," Sam said, "I've never seen roses that shade of blue before."

They stood in the garden kissing and caressing one another until the bumblebees decided to come and Mercedes freaked out, flailing her arms about when one landed on top of her shiny Afro, and Sam laughed as he swatted it away.

"Calm down, Cedes!"

"Oh shut up, Sam," Mercedes huffed as she walked away from them, swinging her ample hips. Finn enjoyed the view of her big, round derriere; he suddenly imagined running his hands all over her bare ass, and his breath caught in his throat. Damn that red sundress!

"Baby, come back," Finn said, trying to hold in his laughter and not doing a very good job of it, Mercedes always did hate insects, not that he blamed her but it was funny to see her lose her cool because she was always so together about everything; it was just another reminder that she needed them and that made him feel good inside.

"Don't be a sourpuss," Sam teased. And she wasn't mad for long and soon the three of them were kissing again until Finn pulled away from them because it was getting late and he had to get back to work.

"Burt needs me," he said.

"We understand. We just hate to leave," Mercedes whispered.

"Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to spend together soon," Finn said trying to lighten the mood as he tightened his arm around her.

"He's right," Sam said.

They gathered up the trash on the patio table and gave Finn the leftover chicken salad and cake - which he was all too happy to have. He walked them to the car and after sharing one last good-bye kiss with each of them he watched them drive away, his heart breaking a little as the car grew smaller in the distance.

* * *

**_Believe_**

Sam and Mercedes were curled up on her bed reading the latest Scott Westerfeld novel in the Uglies series. Mercedes was a fan of his books and now she had hooked Sam on them. They took turns reading out loud and though Sam struggled sometimes, Mercedes was always patient, letting him know it was ok to take his time. It was around 10:00 and Sam knew he had to leave soon, though he hated too; it was so cozy, in her big bed, his arm draped around her and her soft voice in his ear. After they had lunch with Finn, they spent much of the afternoon with his family at the hospital. Stacey was a little better, and she was happy to see Mercedes, telling her all about her new book and how much she and her doll Maggie liked it. Stevie was his usual chatty self and even their mother had a few kind words to say to Mercedes though she was quiet for most of the visit. Just as he predicted, Aunt Patty and Mercedes instantly hit it off with each other, joking and talking like two old friends. Aunt Patty made them promise to invite her and Uncle Leroy to their future wedding, which amused Sam; he had no idea how she would take the news of Finn being a part of their relationship, but something told him she would be ok with it; she wasn't one to judge people.

Just then his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out reluctantly and saw that it was his mother; his heart dropped.

"Hi Mom, is everything alright?"

His mother was crying. "Sam, sweetie, come to the hospital. Sugar is in a coma, and things don't look too good."

Sam felt numb. "Ok, Mom, I'm on my way."

"Please hurry, Sam, we need you. Sugar needs you."

He hung up the phone and stared off into space; he couldn't feel his body or anything around him, a loud rushing noise was in his ears; suddenly he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Sam, baby, what is it?" It was Mercedes.

That warm hand and kind voice slowly pulled him back from slipping away completely.

"Cedes, its Sugar. She's in a coma. We have to go to the hospital," Sam whispered.

"Oh my God, Sam," Mercedes said and hugged him. They quickly put on their shoes and as they were rushing out the door, his phone vibrated again. This time it was Finn.

"Hey, babe, I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like something is wrong. Are you ok?"

Sam held back his tears.

"Sugar is in a coma. Cedes and me are going to the hospital."

"I'll meet you guys there," Finn said and hung up.

He turned to Mercedes.

"Finn is going to meet us a the hospital."

"Ok."

The drive to Lima Children's Hospital Center was tense. Sam found it difficult to breathe. He rolled down the windows and felt the night air blowing against his face. He needed to get away, to escape. He couldn't face his sister's death just like he couldn't face his Grandmother's. His stomach was nauseous and the bile was rising in his throat.

"Cedes, pull over the car!"

Thankfully, she asked no questions and she quickly pulled over to the side of the road. Sam hopped out of the car and collapsed on the ground, clutching his stomach, his body was hot. He felt Mercedes' hands rub his back and suddenly he threw up into the grass; she held back his hair as he vomited, tears streaming down his face. Then she disappeared, and returned with a bottle of water, coaxing him to drink it. He did as she asked and the cool liquid felt good sliding down his throat. Finally he stood up and she handed him some tissues to wipe his mouth and face. They got back in the car and they were on their way again, Sam leaned his head out the open window.

"Cedes, what if she doesn't make it? What if this is it?"

"Baby, please -"

"It could happen. I can't say good-bye. I'm not ready to."

Mercedes reached over and grabbed his hand.

"I'm sorry Sam, I don't know if anyone is ever ready for death."

"You're right," Sam said quietly and kissed the back of her hand. "I just don't know anymore. I got no fight left in me."

They were silent for the rest of the ride. When they arrived to the hospital, the parking lot was full so they had to park in the garage, much to Sam's dismay. And that was a chore because they had to roam around the garage just to find an empty space. They finally found a spot on the 4th level and soon they were in the elevator and walking into the shiny halls of the hospital.

When they got to her room, Sam found Stevie curled up next to Stacey, his head rested on her fragile shoulder. His mother was on the other side of the bed holding her hand, her head bowed in prayer or grief, Sam couldn't tell which one it was. Stacey looked as pale as her porcelain doll, her favorite pink quilt was pulled up to her chin. The only sound was the beeping of the monitor. Stevie spotted them first and he got off the bed and walked over to Sam, flinging his thin arms around him.

"She's just sleeping, right Sam? Tell them to wake her up!"

"Stevie -"

"No, she's not dead yet. The doctors say that comas aren't death. We just gotta wake her up. And don't let Mom, take her to that place."

"What place?"

"Hospice," Sam's mother said, as she walked away from Stacey's side and gave him a hug.

"I don't understand," Sam said.

"It's where you go to die," Stevie said, still clinging to Sam, "They make you feel nice about dying."

"Who told you that?"

"I heard the nurses talking about it," Stevie said.

He turned to his mother.

"Mom, is that true? And where's Dad? Does he know what's going on?"

"Yes, it's true. We've exhausted all treatments. They say it's for the best. Your father knows and he is in Indiana delivering a shipment of fiber glass, he should be here tomorrow."

"It's not for the best!" Stevie shouted.

"Stevie, not now, we thought about this long and hard," She said, trying to calm her son.

"What about hope?"

Sam hugged Stevie close to him.

"Stevie, you know that Stacey is dying. We talked about that."

"I know that she's dying. I get that. But if we move her to hospice, it's like we gave up on her. She can hear us. I know she can. And you told me to keep hoping, and I'm hoping and praying, how come nobody else is? Why is everybody acting like she's dead? I know she's just dreaming of angels; please don't send her there."

"Please, Stevie, it's not that simple," Sam said, "I wish it was but it isn't."

"Yes it is, you tell me all that stuff, and you don't do it yourself!"

Sam was at a loss. He turned to Mercedes who stood there with tears in her eyes; she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Neither of them knew what to say.

Then his mother said to Mercedes: "Thank you for coming. I know Stacey would appreciate you being here."

"You're welcome Mrs. Evans," Mercedes said and hugged her. Sam noticed that his mother stiffened at her touch, but then she relaxed into the hug.

Stevie stared at them then said: "Sing her a song. She loves to hear you sing Sam. Sing her a song, please."

Sam shook his head. "I don't know if that will help."

"Please sing. We gotta keep trying, right? You always told me to keep trying."

"It couldn't hurt Sam," Mercedes said quietly.

"Ok, but what do I sing?"

"Her favorite song. The one about showing you love. I don't know the name, but you remember it don't you?"

"Yes, I remember, it's called I Will Show You Love," Sam responded.

Just then Finn came into the room, his face panic stricken. He rushed over to Sam and Mercedes and hugged them close. Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw his mother looked bewildered at the scene unfolding before her. Finn then turned his attention to her and said:

"Hello, Mrs. Evans, I'm sorry for what you're going through with Stacey."

"Thank you, dear, have we met before?"

"Yes, I'm Finn Hudson. I play football with Sam."

"Oh, that's right," she said and then she was once again focused on her comatose daughter.

"We're going to get through this," Finn whispered in his ear. Sam leaned into him, grateful that both he and Mercedes were there; he needed them both now more than ever.

He gently pulled away from the embrace and said:

"Can you two help me sing?"

"Of course, but I'm not sure if I know the song," Mercedes said.

"I'll do whatever you need, just tell me what we're singing," Finn responded.

"It's Stacey's favorite song called I Will Show You Love; it's really beautiful. Even if you don't know the words, just do the best you can," Sam said and then he glanced over at his mother:

"Mom, you need to sing too, in fact everyone in this room has to sing, ok?"

"I know the words, Stevie said, gazing up at Sam, "I know all the words cause I used to sing it to her sometimes. But you sing better than me Sam."

Stevie's voice did leave much to be desired, yet that didn't matter in that moment. They needed all the voices they could get and Sam was going to make sure that happened.

"That doesn't matter Stevie," Sam said and kissed the top of his head. "I want to hear your voice too."

They stood around the bed, forming a circle, everyone holding hands. Then Aunt Patty breezed into the room, carrying a tray of coffee and pastries, and they quickly explained what they were about to do. She agreed to sing too, warning them of her limited vocal ability, as she set the tray down on a nearby table and grabbed onto Stevie's hand. The heart monitor beeped incessantly, reminding everyone that she was just sleeping. Sam reached down and kissed Stacey's forehead, her skin felt cold against his lips, and he wished they had another blanket to put on her. He stopped believing in miracles a long time ago; and now he had to try to believe in them again or at least convince himself of the possibility. The last time he believed in anything it was before the rape happened, before Reverend Franklin died on that April afternoon, it was when he lived inside the glass marbles he found in the attic, and his mother still kissed him good night and told him she loved him, and Stacey was a little baby on wobbly legs, clutching his hand and calling him "Tam" because she couldn't pronounce the letter "S," so for the first two years of her life he was Tam and she followed him around, laughing, her eyes shining, and she was his Sugar and he protected her from everything.

Sam began to sing softly, tears slipping down his cheeks, perhaps Stacey could hear them, maybe their voices would bring her back and she could run and play again and tell Maggie all of her secrets.

_I will show you love like you've never loved before_

_I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word_

_'Cause you will come alive again_

_Call the trying times your friend_

_Pain that you have suffered through_

_Never get the best of you_

_You will hope in something real_

_Won't depend on how you feel_

_When you call my name, then I will answer, answer_

Soon the others followed suit, Stevie's off-key voice in the mix, but somehow it just made everything more beautiful.

_Cause I am on your side_

_Though the wind and waves_

_Beat against your faith_

_You were on my mind_

_When the world was made_

_Trust in me my child,_

_Trust in me my child_

Sam got strength from having Finn and Mercedes on either side of him; he loved them so much, and their love was helping him sing, even though everything was killing him inside and his heart was broken at least he was alive, despite all the pain, he was alive and he had to keep singing for Stacey's sake.

_Walk out on the water_

_You have no control_

_Scared of every failure_

_Sacrifice your soul, please let that go_

_Cause you have climbed an uphill road_

_You have worn a heavy load_

_You have cried through endless nights_

_Nearly giving up the fight_

_Watch your dreams like fallen stars_

_Heartache made you who you are_

_Looking back you see that I've always been there_

Everyone was singing louder now, and Sam lead the charge, he closed his eyes and swayed gently.

_Cause I am on your side_

_Though the wind and waves_

_Beat against your faith_

_You were on my mind_

_When the world was made_

_Trust in me my child,_

_Trust in me my child_

_Where you gonna hide, where you gonna hide from me?_

_Where you gonna go, where you gonna go that I can't see?_

Then Sam realized that this song described all that his family was going through; it spoke to that dark place in his heart.

_Cause I have heard your cry_

_And it breaks my heart, for I love you so_

_I will never lie_

_This is not the end_

_There is still a hope_

_Cause I am on your side_

_Though the wind and waves_

_Beat against your faith_

_You were on my mind_

_When the world was made_

_Trust in me my child,_

_Trust in me my child_

This was the first time he had heard his mother sing in years; she used to sing when he played his guitar; but those days were long gone and he often wondered why she stopped. Stacey was so fragile, her delicate arms were wrapped around her beloved doll. For a horrible moment, Sam wondered if she would be buried with it, then he pushed the thought aside. He wanted to see her eyes, if she would just open her eyes. They sang the chorus again, and Stevie leaned into their mother, singing with all his heart. Then their voices slowly drifted into humming; suddenly Stevie whispered.

"I saw her move."

"Stevie, are you sure?" their mother asked.

"Yes, I saw her hand move."

"Maybe you only thought - "

"No, Mom, I know what I saw; I'm not lying."

Then Sam saw it too, her fingers wiggled a bit. He reached down and touched her cheek and she wasn't so cold.

"Sugar?"

Her body shifted a little.

"Oh my God, somebody go get a nurse," Sam said.

"I'll go," Finn said and hurried out of the room.

_Open your eyes, just open your eyes..._ Sam pleaded silently.

Her eyelids fluttered and then slowly her eyes opened and she was staring at him.

"Sammy?"

He flung his arms around her, crying into her neck. "Sugar, baby, you're awake!"

Stevie and his mother joined him in the hug, and soon they were all crying and hugging Stacey, fearing that if she closed her eyes they would lose her forever.

"Y'all, let the child breathe!" Aunt Patty said in that no nonsense way of hers.

They pulled away from her giving her some air, and she gazed at them with her beautiful grayish green eyes, her cheeks now had a slightly pinkish hue. And Sam was seeing the Sugar he remembered with bright eyes and long blonde hair that turned to white gold in the summertime.

"I heard you all singing. It was so pretty. The prettiest thing I ever heard." Even her voice seemed stronger.

"I told you she could hear us!" Stevie said as he grasped his sister's hand.

"Stacey how do you feel?" Sam asked as he stroked her face, still marveling at the fact that she was awake and talking to them like it was the most normal thing in the world.

She smiled and said, "I feel nice, Sammy, really nice."

Sam laughed and cried, kissing her cheeks and hugging her once again. Then he remembered that Mercedes was beside him and he hugged her too, how could he have gotten through any of this without her? At that moment, the doctors and a nurse strolled into the room, asking everyone to step aside so they could examine Stacey more closely. Finn was right behind them and Sam hugged him too. The three of them went into the hallway because the room was getting rather hot and crowded.

"I think she's going to be ok," Sam said to Finn and Mercedes, once they stood in the hallway under the bright fluorescent lights.

"That's wonderful," Finn said and kissed his cheek. Mercedes wrapped her arm around him and kissed him too.

"I couldn't be more happy for you and your family."

Sam felt like jumping up and down and screaming to the world that Sugar was awake, but instead, he held Finn and Mercedes close to his heart because they were his anchors in the storm and mattered more to him than anyone else; and though he would never admit it out loud, he believed in miracles again.

* * *

**End Notes**

The song I used in this chapter is "I Will Show You Love" by Kendall Payne. Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

**SUMMARY: **Sam has some issues he's hiding from Finn and Mercedes; Rachel pays Finn a surprise visit; Mercedes gets a chance to act out her sexual fantasy.

**RATING:** Mature

**WARNING:** This chapter has very explicit sex that is more "raunchy" than usual. Please read with discretion.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Sorry for the long delay in updating. Life got the best of me. I've noticed an increase in favorites and alerts and that put a big smile on my face so **THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS, ALERTS, AND FAVORITES!**

* * *

**_IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE THE WAY THEY LOVE ME_**

It was late afternoon and Finn, Mercedes and Sam were relaxing in the Hummel's living room, watching Firefly and munching on microwave kettle corn. The window was open and the sounds of summer drifted in - the shrill bell of the ice cream man, lawn mowers humming, and kids splashing in the pool. Finn sighed in contentment as helaid his bare legs across Sam's lap, an icepack pressed against his swollen knee. He wore a pair of old basketball shorts that hiked up his large thighs; the dark hair on his legs was in stark contrast to his pale skin. Sam once told him that he loved his hairy legs and Finn chuckled at the odd compliment, but something in his heart fluttered.

He watched as Sam affectionately stroked his legs, squeezing the muscles in his calves and thighs. Finn leaned back onto Mercedes' soft, full bosom. She draped her arms around him, hugging him close as she kissed the top of his head; he rubbed his stubbly cheek against the silky smooth skin of her arms, causing her to giggle. A few moments earlier, his mother brought them glasses of freshly squeezed lemonade. Finn knew she was only checking to make sure that they weren't doing anything X-rated on her new brown, suede couch, but she had no reason to worry, they would never risk being caught.

"Is the ice working?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah, sweetheart it is. You guys didn't have to come over. It wasn't that serious."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Finn, you're our boyfriend, you slipped and fell in the garage and hurt your knee. Of course we would come over to check on you."

"I understand but my Mom already took me to the doctor and everything. It's just a little sprain and besides I know you want to spend more time with Stacey now that she's in better condition."

It had been a week since they witnessed the miracle of Stacey waking up from her coma. Finn would go to the hospital with them as much as he could and he was growing to love Stacey more each day. He sang her favorite songs and even had tea parties with her in the hospital lounge much to Sam and Mercedes' amusement. They would all sit on her pink quilt on the floor and drink from tiny pink plastic cups filled with watered down apple juice and nibble on rosewater cookies.

"We do but you're important to us too," Sam said as he lifted the ice pack and placed his hand on Finn's injured knee, "Now, I'm going to massage your knee like I saw you do for Kurt when he hurt himself doing yoga."

"Ok," Finn said, "But be gentle."

"I'm always gentle," Sam said, giving him a little smirk.

"Not always," Finn responded, and then Sam leaned over and kissed him, it was sweet and brief and Finn tasted the tartness of the lemonade on his full lips.

"Gentle enough for you?"

"Well you weren't gentle in the rose garden, in fact neither of you were; we almost got in trouble that day."

Mercedes shifted behind him and whispered in his ear:

"That's because we missed you." She kissed his neck, nibbling his flesh a little, until he moaned softly.

Finn was getting aroused. Then he remembered his birthday, and he smiled to himself. Sam looked over at him.

"You're thinking about your birthday, aren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"I got a sixth sense, I guess." His voice was hollow.

"Babe, you ok?" Finn asked.

Sam gave him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He gripped Finn's knee and said:

"I'm fine, it's just that I don't want you to be disappointed on your birthday."

Finn sat up a little, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Why would I be disappointed?"

Sam avoided his eyes and didn't say anything. Mercedes tightened her arms around Finn.

"Look, you can tell us anything, what is it? You can't come with us to Blaine's summer house in Kentucky?" Finn asked him.

Sam shook his head and sighed.

"No, it's not that but the three of us need to talk and I don't know how to say this -–"

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

"Damn!" Finn said as he struggled to get up from the couch. Sam pushed him back down.

"No, you stay put. I'll answer the door," Sam said.

Finn leaned back against Mercedes.

"What do you think he had to tell us?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I wouldn't worry until we know what it is."

Finn nodded and kissed her hands. Then he heard a familiar female voice - the slightly whiny tone and perfect diction meant it could only be one person: Rachel Berry.

Mercedes loosened her arms from around him and was trying to move away. Finn grabbed her wrists.

"We don't have anything to hide, remember?" He said turning to look at her.

"Are you sure? After all it is Rachel," Mercedes said, keeping her voice low.

"You aren't a dirty little secret and I refuse to treat you like that. I love you and Sam and I don't care who knows it."

She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around him again.

Rachel bounced into the living room wearing a ridiculous tight black dress that came just above her knobby knees, shiny black high heel shoes and a cropped pink satin jacket; her long hair was stuffed under an ill fitting black curly wig. Sam was right behind her looking rather bemused by the entire outfit.

"Hi Rachel," Finn said with a tight smile, "What brings you here?"

Her eyes grew wide as she gazed at them curled up on the couch. Finn couldn't believe that she came over without calling first and that pissed him off, especially because she showed up right in the middle of a very important conversation. He smelled her floral perfume as she sat down beside him on the couch, clasping her hands in front of her, looking rather embarrassed.

"I didn't realize you had company," she said, "I was surprised when Sam answered the door and I didn't expect to see – "

"How are you doing Rachel?" Mercedes said, breaking the tension, "What's with the outfit?"

Rachel jerked her head; she was obviously startled by the question but she answered, "Oh, I just came from an audition for Grease, it's playing at that new dinner theater on the east side. I want the role of Rizzo."

Sam sat down in the recliner and said, "Really? You seem more like a Sandy."

"That's what the director said too, but as a performer I want to challenge myself," Rachel said, her dark eyes determined, "At the musical theater camp I went to last month, they taught us to take roles that were the opposite of ourselves. So I went for Rizzo, the sexy, sassy girl, who is like the anti-me, so to speak."

"Well, I hope you get the part," Mercedes said and then she gently pushed Finn aside, so she could get up from the couch. Finn grabbed her hand.

"Sweetheart, where are you going?"

"I was going to make some more popcorn, if you don't mind," she said as he pulled her down for a kiss. Rachel cleared her throat.

"Could you get me a glass of water?"

The two stared at each other. Mercedes' eyes drifted over Rachel as if she were sizing her up. Rachel folded her arms and straightened her back. Then Mercedes smiled.

"Sure."

"Thank you," Rachel replied.

"No problem," Mercedes said and then she turned to Sam, "Could you come with me to the kitchen, please? I need your help with the popcorn."

Sam looked confused for a moment, but when Mercedes raised her eyebrows, he quickly scrambled out of his seat. Finn reached out for Sam's hand as he passed by, and pulled him down until they were eye level, kissing him on the lips before they both exited the living room, leaving he and Rachel alone in an awkward silence. He stared at Rachel squirming on the couch, her cheeks bright red. She was practically hyperventilating.

"Finn, just what the _hell _is going on?"

"What do you mean?" Finn responded.

"You know what I'm talking about. Why are you kissing Mercedes and Sam? What's going on?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but they happen to be my boyfriend and girlfriend. The three of us are in a relationship and it's very serious. And you still haven't answered my question, why are you here Rachel?"

Rachel's mouth hung open in shock.

"You mean to tell me you're bi? How long have you known? Did you want to be with guys when we were together?"

Finn ran his hands through his hair and shook his head in frustration; Rachel was working his nerves.

"I don't know if I'm bi. All I know is that I love Mercedes and Sam very much. When we were together I was never attracted to guys."

She cocked her head to the side and her curly wig shifted. "You could've come to me if you liked guys, I have two dads, you know."

Finn just stared at her; he didn't know what to say to that.

Rachel picked at a thread on her dress and then said, "I can't believe you just told me that you're with Mercedes and Sam like it's no big deal."

"It isn't a big deal. You're just overreacting as usual."

"Finn, don't be stupid, it most certainly is a big deal. Does anybody else in glee club know?"

Finn sat up a little and winced when a wave of pain shot through his knee. He pressed the ice pack against it to get some relief. Rachel looked at him and her eyes softened.

"What happened?"

"I fell in the garage - nothing major. As for who knows in glee club, Puck, Santana, Kurt and Brittany know."

"So Quinn doesn't know?"

"No, I haven't seen her all summer. She probably wouldn't care one way or the other."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Finn shrugged. "Whatever."

"Do you know what you're doing is completely insane? So the three of you are going to waltz into school holding hands and kissing on the first day?"

"Why does it matter to you anyway? You and I aren't together anymore, remember? You dumped me for that asshole, Jesse."

Rachel looked away from him for a moment then said, "I know that we're not together anymore, but I'm still curious. How did this start with Sam and Mercedes?"

"Rachel, please, not now. The three of us fell in love. That's it. I'm no good at telling stories. You know that. Now for the last time, why are you here?"

"I miss you," she whispered.

"You miss me?" Finn was angry.

She nodded. "Yes, I miss you Finn. That's why I came by to see you and well -"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You want us to get back together? What about Jesse?"

"You don't have to use that language with me. I don't deserve it!"

"But I deserved to be dumped at the Lima Bean just ten minutes before Jesse comes to pick you up for a date!"

"Finn, please, it was a mistake. I had no idea that was how it was going to turn out."

"But you took a chance anyway."

"I had to take a chance. Besides I didn't think there would be any risk that you would - " She stopped suddenly, and then said, "It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is now."

"What were you about to say? No risk that I would do what?"

Rachel shook her head. "Forget it, Finn, it doesn't matter."

"Rachel, I can tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying."

Finn watched as she glanced toward the kitchen door and then it hit him.

"You thought I would wait for you, didn't you? You knew how much I loved you and you figured I would just sit and wait for you to come back, am I right?"

Rachel didn't respond. Finn balled up his fists.

"I loved you. And you sat there in the Lima Bean and told me that we were through and that you wanted to be with that prick and you hoped I understood. Do you even know how much you hurt me?"

"No," she whispered.

"More ways than you can imagine."

Rachel was crying. "Finn, I did what I thought was best. I wanted New York and so did Jesse."

"I wanted to go to New York with you."

"What?"

"On the day you dumped me, I had a special evening planned. I got two tickets to see Waiting for Godot at the community playhouse because I know it's one of your favorite plays. And then I made reservations at Osaka Green so you could have vegan sushi. I hate sushi! I hate plays about two dudes waiting for another dude that doesn't show up! I did all of that because I wanted to make you happy! Maybe that was the problem, I was trying too hard to make you happy, and nothing was good enough," he took a deep breath then continued, "I was going to tell you that I was trying to find a way to go to New York with you. I wasn't sure how I could do it but I wanted to talk to you about it and maybe we could've come up with something together. I was willing to go with you. Lima wasn't the end of the road for me."

"I had no idea that you wanted to come to New York with me."

"You never asked," Finn said.

Rachel hung her head then raised her eyes to meet his. "You seemed content to stay in Lima and work for Burt."

"I would've followed you anywhere, that's how much I loved you. I also had something I wanted to give to you that day."

"What was it?"

"Go to the hall closet. On the second shelf there is a box wrapped in silver paper."

Rachel left to get the gift. As Finn waited for her, he remembered how he came home on that awful day and shoved the gift into the hall closet because he didn't have the heart to throw it away. He spent the evening playing Call of Duty with Puck and drinking beer; Puck told him that Rachel was a bitch and he was better off without her; they had a good time getting wasted and it wasn't until he stumbled into bed in the wee hours of the morning that he finally let himself cry. After a few minutes, Rachel returned with the box and sat down on the couch, holding it on her lap, unsure of what to do next.

"Go on and open it. It's not anything bad, I swear," Finn said, sensing her reluctance.

"I know, I just…" her voice trailed off and she slowly unwrapped the present. Once the silver paper was removed she opened the box and stared into it for a moment, her eyes filling with tears.

"Finn, I –"

"I wanted to give you a piece of New York," he said in way of explanation.

She pulled out all of its contents: a stack of Broadway playbills from her favorite musicals, an Empire State Building paper weight, subway maps, postcards of the New York skyline, a silver music box that played New York State of Mind and other various trinkets and mementos. She inspected each item carefully, tears running down her cheeks. She clutched a Statue of Liberty key chain and looked over at him.

"I don't know what to say," she whispered.

"I thought you could use that key chain to put the key to your first New York apartment on it."

By this time, Rachel was sobbing, her make up was smeared and her nose was running. It wasn't a delicate, proper cry, but the kind of crying you did in private behind closed doors in a dark room. Finn grabbed the box of tissues on the coffee table and handed them to her. He didn't think she would react like that and he wasn't sure what to do.

"You can go in the bathroom if you want," he said.

She took the tissues and began blowing her nose - snot strings hung from her nostrils. Finn looked away in disgust. After she snorted and hiccupped her way through a fistful of tissues, she was finally able to speak again. Her voice was pained.

"I got caught up with what Jesse said he could do for me. I wanted something more than Burt's garage and the Dairy Queen. You understand? I'm so sorry, Finn."

"Why did Jesse break up with you?"

Rachel blew her nose. "How do you know it wasn't the other way around?"

"Because I know you, Rachel."

'What does that mean?"

"It means that you have to be a very special person to put up with your crazy mental bullshit, and Jesse is not a special person."

"And you were that special person?"

Finn folded his arms. "I like to think that I was."

"If you're referring to my unwavering ambition, you're wrong. That's not why Jesse broke up with me. He met somebody else – a blonde with double D breasts. He said they had a connection.

"And I can only guess what the connection was. You didn't want to put out, did you?" Finn said.

Rachel got defensive.

"Is that why you're with Mercedes and Sam?"

Finn took a few deep breaths to calm down. _His relationship with Sam and Mercedes was so much more than that. Even though the sex was phenomenal…_

"I love Sam and Mercedes and they love me for who I am. For the first time, I feel good about myself."

"Well, that's special," Rachel muttered.

"You're right it is special. And it's something we never shared. I feel them right here," Finn said, holding his hand to his heart, "I feel them so much that it scares me. Even when we're apart, I know when something is wrong with them. My mom calls it intuition. I just think it's love."

"How can you love two people?"

"I don't know – I just do that's all. I loved you, but it wasn't as deep. I mean we shared a lot together and it was good sometimes. But I always felt like you wanted me to be somebody else."

Rachel touched his leg. "It was deep for me. Remember that star necklace you gave me?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah, what about it?"

"I still wear it because it makes me believe in myself even more."

"Rachel…"

She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes.

"What about our duets? You enjoyed that didn't you? The way you looked at me - nobody has ever looked at me the way you have."

"Rachel, I know you loved me and I loved you, but we aren't right for each other. I enjoyed singing with you, but I like to sing because it's fun, not because I want to be a star. I don't get a hard-on watching the Tony awards the way Kurt does. I'm a simple guy. I like being with the people I love and taking care of them, that's it. Yet that's not good enough for you."

"Finn, you were always good enough. I just didn't see it."

He shook his head.

"No, I wasn't. You're a very talented girl and I don't doubt for a second that you will be the next big thing on Broadway. You have what it takes. Don't you see? That's your first love. Not me, or Jesse, or any other guy."

"Maybe so, but Broadway doesn't encourage me or give me goodnight kisses on my doorstep," Rachel said, as she wiped her tears, "I need that in my life too."

"You do need that, just not from me."

"Finn, just listen to me for a second -."

He held up his hand.

"Enough. I don't want you back Rachel. I love Mercedes and Sam and they don't care that I'm not smart or that my body isn't perfect, or that I don't always hit every note, and it feels great. I don't have to try to be somebody I'm not."

Rachel didn't give up. She squared her shoulders and looked him the eyes:

"In case you haven't forgotten, you did choose Quinn over me. I forgave you. Why can't you do the same? We both made mistakes."

"What I'm doing now isn't a mistake, and I forgive you about Jesse. But my relationships with you and Quinn weren't right for me."

"And this thing you're in now is right?" Rachel asked snidely.

Finn pushed her hand off of his leg.

"It isn't a _thing _Rachel, it's a relationship. Yes, it's working out just fine."

She crossed her arms, shaking her head.

"I would never picture you with Mercedes, I mean she has an awesome voice and can be nice when she wants to be, but I never thought you would be with someone so – how can I say this delicately… _ruebenesque? _She pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows.

Finn wasn't sure what rubenesque meant but he wagered it had something to do with her size.

"Don't talk shit about Mercedes. She's beautiful and I love her."

"Finn, calm down. I'm also surprised about Sam because of what happened between you guys over Quinn."

"We made peace with that a long time ago. And now we love each other."

She sighed.

"I'm sorry Finn – I just can't grasp what your new relationship is. You had deep feelings for me. This gift proves it. I could give you more than they could." She scooted toward him. He moved away from her before she could get any closer. The desperation in her dark brown eyes worried him.

"Rachel, it's over. You dumped me for Jesse and now you realize you were wrong, but it's too late. I don't want you. And another thing, you could never do more for me than Sam and Mercedes."

"If this is about sex, don't worry. I know I had some reservations and abstinence was my choice, but I've changed, and I think I can ease up on how far we can go. The experience could make me a better performer too; I could get rid of this virginal aura and get cast in more challenging roles."

Finn clutched the couch pillows to keep from loosing his temper - which was getting more and more difficult to do.

"I don't believe it. You don't want me. You just want to have sex with me so you can get the part of Rizzo. God, Rachel, how pathetic are you? Why didn't you just sleep with Jesse?"

She looked down at her hands.

"Jesse wasn't you, ok? And you're wrong; I don't only want you back so I can sleep with you. I want your love and support."

"Let's just say I was stupid enough to take you back, what would I get out of it?"

Her eyes grew wide.

"What do you mean? Isn't being with me enough?"

"No, it isn't. The reason I love the relationship that I'm in right now is because we all support and care for each other. When I got hurt, Mercedes and Sam came right over to check on me. That's why they're here now. When I had the flu last year, I never heard from you at all."

"Finn, you told me not come over so I wouldn't get sick."

"I know but you didn't call or even text, and then when I did see you at school you wore a mask and wouldn't kiss me for a week."

Rachel adjusted her wig.

"Finn, you know how I am about germs. I can't afford to be sick; my voice must always be in tact."

"You just don't get it do you? Ok, here's an example. Last month was Burt's birthday and he wanted to go to the Monster Truck Jamboree over on Harding Highway. Now that's not exactly my idea of a good time but I went, in fact all of us went, me, Sam, Mercy, Kurt, Blaine, and my Mom and we had a good time. Mercy didn't want to go because places like that make her uncomfortable, yet she went anyway, because that's what you do when you love someone, it's little things like that."

"Alright, I'll do things like go bowling with you and even eat at Denny's will that make you happy?"

He threw up his hands in exasperation; she wasn't getting it and he was tired.

"It's more than that. Look, you want a cheerleader and that's fine, yet you don't give anything in return. I need to be encouraged just as much as you. I may not want to be a star but I do have dreams."

Tears slipped down Rachel's cheeks, she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"I still love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But Finn, I'm scared."

"Rachel, you'll be fine, no matter what. Like I said before, stardom is your first love and nothing else, and no, it may not be the same as having someone hold you after a performance, but it's in your blood, and I know that's never gonna change."

She was silent for a few moments then said, "Will I always be alone?"

"I don't know that's up to you."

He felt somewhat sorry for Rachel. She looked so small and sad on his couch, wearing that awful costume, trying to be sexy but only coming off as inexperienced and immature. Her make up was garish and childish – the lipstick was too red, the fake eyelashes were crooked, even her bubble gum pink nails were too much like a little girl and not enough like the woman she longed to be. Then there was the push up bra that thrust her tiny breasts upward like a pitiful offering. Slowly, she rose from the couch, almost losing her balance in her high heels.

"I better go. I'm sorry I came," Rachel whispered.

"I'm not. You needed to hear the truth."

"Maybe so, but it hurt."

"Now you know how I felt," Finn said.

"What do Burt and Carol think of your relationship?"

"They have some issues. But they're happy for me."

"I see. I wish I could say the same."

Finn didn't respond. Instead he recalled every detail of their first kiss: her eyes sparkled, her lips tasted like cherries and her heart beat fast against his chest, it was a nice memory, yet that was the past. His future was with Sam and Mercedes and he couldn't have been happier.

"I guess I'll see you in Glee Club when school starts," she said, as she fumbled with her giant pink purse, and tucked her gift under her arm.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it."

"Thank you, Finn."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked the gift."

"Not just for the gift but for loving me. Telling me I was beautiful when I wanted to get that nose job. Believing in my talent. I never said thank you, did I?"

Finn shook his head. "No, Rachel, you never did. You took me for granted. It's nice to hear though and you're welcome. I did love you. Those feelings were real."

She gave him a sad smile then walked out of the living room, her heels tapping softly against the hardwood floor. When the front door shut, Sam and Mercedes emerged from the kitchen, looking concerned.

"Is everything ok?" Mercedes asked.

"Come here, baby," he said reaching for her and pulled her into a hug, kissing her. "Everything is fine. We got closure."

"I wanted to listen at the door but Sam wouldn't let me."

Finn laughed, "You know I tell you guys everything. No need to eavesdrop. You never did bring her that glass of water."

"I know but it's not like she was looking for it. Besides, you two needed to be alone."

Sam plopped down beside him and Finn hugged and kissed him too. Sam held his face in his hands, "I'm glad you guys talked. You never say anything about Rachel."

Finn shrugged. "Not much to say really. We loved each other but it didn't work. I wasn't the right guy for her."

"Thank God, for that!" Mercedes said and kissed his cheek.

"Thank God is right," Sam said as he gently placed Finn's legs across his lap, "You're the perfect guy for us, Finnegan Jacob Hudson."

Finn smiled when he said his full name. His mother would only call him Finnegan when he was in trouble. Suddenly he remembered the conversation before Rachel came.

"So are you going to tell me why you think I will be disappointed on my birthday?"

Sam began massaging his knee. Finn was impressed that he was doing such a good job.

"Do you mind if we talk about it later?"

Finn panicked. "Babe, is it something serious?"

Sam stayed focused on Finn's knee and didn't answer him.

"You know you can tell us anything. Whatever it is we'll work it out," Mercedes said.

Finally he looked up and said:

"It's getting kind of late, I have to get home and help Aunt Patty with dinner."

"I thought we were all having dinner here. My mom is making lasagna, remember?" Finn said.

"I'm sorry but I forgot that I was supposed to help Aunt Patty, besides she needs her car," Sam said, then he turned to Mercedes:

"Do you mind getting a ride home with Kurt?"

"No, not at all," Mercedes said.

Finn grabbed Sam's hand.

"Sam, please tell us what's wrong, you're scaring us."

Sam kissed his hand.

"Everything is fine. I just have to go."

He gave them each a quick hug and a good-bye kiss and was out the door. Finn sat there dumbfounded.

"I want to know what's wrong with him," Finn said.

"I do too. He's been better about opening up to us since he's been in therapy, yet he still keeps a lot of stuff bottled up inside," Mercedes said hugging him close.

"Yeah, you're right," Finn said and then kissed her, it started off gentle but grew more passionate, his hands roamed underneath her shirt, and he lightly touched her hardening nipples.

"Finn…" she breathed.

Suddenly, he heard Kurt's voice:

"Keep it G-rated!"

They broke apart from each other laughing. Kurt stood there with his hands on his hips, looking at them with a disapproving glare. He wore a red shirt with lots of zippers and khaki shorts.

"I know you guys love each other, but can you tone it down a little?

"Where did you get that shirt?" Finn asked. He thought it was weird.

"E-bay. Vintage 80s." Kurt said airily then sat down in the recliner. "Hey, where's Sam?"

"He had to leave," Mercedes said.

"That's too bad. I wanted to tell you guys all about the summer house," Kurt said, "Why did he have to leave?

Instead of answering his question, Mercedes changed the subject, "Hey Kurt, did you know there's a clearance sale at Elder-Beerman's?"

"Really? You know, I've been eying that blue linen shirt!"

As the two of them droned on about the sale, Finn thought about Sam. He wanted to know why their boyfriend suddenly was acting strange about his birthday. They had all been excited about spending the weekend in Kentucky and now it seemed like Sam didn't want to go. Finn was really looking forward to it because it meant uninterrupted time with the two of them and he also wanted to make love as much as they could. He missed their naked bodies pressed against his and being buried inside Mercedes while Sam talked dirty. Lately, he had been jerking off even more, just thinking about Mercedes' huge breasts or Sam's hard cock. And now he wanted to explore more with Sam, and actually have sex with him. The three of them had talked about it and Mercedes was more than pleased. It always amazed Finn how loving Mercedes was; she felt that if they shared that part of themselves with each other then their threesome bond would be even stronger. He kissed her neck. Mercedes smiled at him:

"Getting a little frisky, remember Kurt wants us to keep it G."

"Thank you, Cedes," Kurt said, folding his arms in righteous indignation.

"Kurt, you're my brother so I'm saying this for your own good. Dude, you need to loosen up, how far have you and Blaine gotten?" Finn asked.

Kurt turned as red as the zippered shirt he wore.

"That's none of your business, but I keep Blaine happy. Enough said."

Finn laughed and Mercedes playfully swatted at his head.

"Oh, leave, Kurt alone. Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex."

Their conversation returned to fashion, and Finn was again left to his thoughts. He closed his eyes and imagined the three of them lying naked on the bed in the summerhouse, with Mercedes spread wide and Sam behind him, his cock thick and hard. He hoped that it would all become a reality. He just wished he knew what was wrong with Sam. Kurt left the room to go get some lemonade and Mercedes turned to him and said:

"I know that Sam will tell us what's wrong when the time is right, but if he ends up not wanting to go to Kentucky, let's not give him a hard time, ok?"

"Mercy, I would never do that. I know that Sam has a lot of demons, it's just that it all seems so sudden, you know? He was excited before."

She stroked his cheek. "I know but be prepared if we have to cancel our trip."

They snuggled together on the couch and Finn still worried about Sam and wondered if everything would work out.

* * *

**_LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX_**

The next day Sam sat in Rosa's office wringing his hands. She sat across from him in the purple recliner; her bare feet peeked out from under her long turquoise skirt. New age music played softly in the background and Sam found it soothing, but he couldn't meet Rosa's inquisitive eyes. How could he say what he had to say? Finally, he blurted out:

"I'm afraid to have sex with Finn!"

Rosa nodded.

"Do you feel this way because of the rape?"

Sam's eyes filled with tears. He tried so hard not to cry, but Rosa told him to never hold in his emotions, and that there was no shame in crying. So he let the tears fall.

"Yes. I love Finn. A lot. I want to share myself with him the way I do with Cedes but what if I get flashbacks? I know that he's not Reverend Barnes, who was an animal, yet I'm afraid of what will happen. You see we're all supposed to go to Kentucky for his 18th birthday and stay in a house that Blaine's family owns. His family is loaded so the place is supposed to be really nice. Anyway, we all talked about taking things further and having sex with each other and at the time I was really happy about it. Now the weekend is coming up soon and I'm getting scared. I'm having nightmares too."

Rosa got up and sat beside him. She held his hand.

"Sam, I want you to listen to me. Don't do anything you're not ready to do. We've made a lot of progress with our sessions. I know that you love Finn and he loves you, but if you're not ready to take things further, then don't. If he loves you as much as you say he does, it won't matter."

"I get what you're saying, but part of me feels ready and part of me feels afraid. I mean we've touched each other and kissed, stuff like that, we just never had actual sex. Not even oral. At first we only wanted Cedes, now everything has changed and I do want more; I just don't know if I will freak out or not. The only guy that's ever had sex with me was Reverend Barnes and that was rape. I can still remember how it felt when he forced himself on me, Rosa, I just…"

Sam started crying and Rosa put her arm around him. She understood his need for touch and Sam was grateful for that.

"Finn and Cedes are my everything. I don't know if I can give that part of myself to him. When we thought my sister was going to die, Finn came by the house with a present for her; and that morning we fooled around, I was the one who wanted to do more stuff, I was aggressive. Now I'm confused. One moment I'm all for going further and the next I'm scared. We stopped because we both want Cedes there when we get more physical with each other."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain. The best I can say is that she's like our center. She connects us. And when we finally come together, we want her there to experience it with us, without her it wouldn't be the same."

"What if the center shifts?"

"What do you mean?"

"With a relationship as unique as yours, I believe that the center sometimes shifts. One person will be the focus for a while and then next time it will be someone else. It balances it out because all of you love each other so much that you're willing to let the other be the center. Does that make sense?"

"I think so. Who do you think has the center right now?"

Rosa paused then answered: "Right now, I think it's Finn. You said yourself he's been feeling left out and even a little jealous since he's working more, and the three of you haven't been able to spend as much time together. But these positions are always changing, that doesn't necessarily mean he will remain the center."

Sam nodded, "Well, I think you're mostly right. I agree it does shift but Finn and I both agreed a long time ago that our job is to keep Cedes happy, so even though it may shift, she's like the center most of the time."

"That makes a lot of sense, but bear in mind that relationships are ever evolving. Now back to having sex with Finn, only do what's comfortable, if you feel any panic, or even the slightest discomfort I want you to stop immediately. Perhaps you should just continue to touch and kiss each other at first and then as the situation becomes more comfortable you go a step further, but only baby steps, I don't want you leaping into anything you can't handle. Finn and Mercedes would never want you to be hurt by any of this. I think your main concern is penetration, am I right?"

"Yes, you're right. Finn has such love in his eyes when he looks at me that kissing him feels wonderful, so does hugging and touching him. So I don't think about Reverend Barnes or anything like that because I know he loves me and only wants me to feel good. Then when I think about us being inside of each other, I get scared. I think that fear has been there all along – I just buried it."

"That's understandable. It's hard to separate two sexual acts when one is an act of violence and the other an act of love. I want you to write down what you need to feel comfortable, such as how he kisses or holds you, anything that will allow you to associate this as love and not remind you of the assault and also include anything to avoid that may trigger a flashback. And you haven't said anything about this to Finn or Mercedes?"

"No, not yet. Everyone is looking forward to this trip and when we discussed it; I was all for it."

She squeezed his hand. "I want you to tell them exactly how you feel about this and share that list with them."

"What if they get angry or something or think I was leading them on."

"Sam they love you. I highly doubt they would be angry."

He sighed. "I guess so. It's just that my first time with a girl I wasn't this nervous. I mean I was nervous, but I didn't have any fear."

"Besides the rape flashbacks, what other fears do you have?"

"I feel like they have all these expectations of how this will finally bring us together and I don't want to let them down."

"What does it feel like when the three of you make love?"

"Wonderful."

"Then how can this be anything less than that? No first time is perfect. You said yourself that you wanted to share yourself with him, that's what this is really about. Don't get me wrong, it's about physical needs too, but underneath, it's about how much you love each other. No matter what happens, nobody will be let down, I promise you that."

Sam thought about what she said, but his doubts lingered.

"I just want our relationship to be stronger, and I'm afraid if I don't follow through, it won't be."

"Your relationship already is strong. Whether or not you and Finn have sex won't change that."

Sam sighed. "That's true. You know you're really good at this."

Rosa tilted her head and smiled. "I hope so. Now I want you to promise me that if anything feels wrong or if a panic attack starts that you will stop. And please don't hesitate to call me on my cell."

He hugged her. "I won't and I promise."

She got up from the couch and walked over to her desk and poured herself a cup of tea.

"Would you like some tea?"

"No, I'm not a big tea drinker, but Cedes is. What kind is it? It smells really good."

"It's Sudanese cinnamon tea. When my parents adopted me from Sudan they tried to make sure I knew about Sudanese culture and food and my mother would make this tea for me."

"You're adopted?"

"Yes, my birth parents were killed when rebels raided their village. I was just a baby. My Sudanese name is Charuni. People could never pronounce it so my mother named me Rosa after her great grandmother."

She sat down next to him and he breathed in the aroma of the fragrant tea; it almost made him want to try some.

"I always wondered where you were from."

"Why didn't you ask?"

"I don't know. I guess I didn't know if I should."

She took a sip of tea. "I don't mind questions."

"Ok, I have one more, but then there's something else I want to talk about."

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Why are you always barefoot?"

Rosa threw her head back and laughed.

"I wasn't expecting that. Ever since I was a little girl, I hated to wear shoes. It didn't feel natural to have something on my feet. I don't know why. But don't worry. I'm only barefoot in the office. I have a pair of sandals I keep under the desk to walk around the hospital."

Sam smiled. "Well, that's good to know. Now I have to tell you something that I haven't told anybody and it's pretty serious."

"What is it, Sam?"

"James contacted me. He wants to see me."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. He found me on Facebook. He's in a juvenile detention center in Tennessee. I just don't want to go back to all that stuff, you know? I was there when he shot Reverend Barnes. He warned me about him and I went over there anyway and now he's locked up and Rosa I feel like it's my fault, if only I had stayed home and –"

"Stop it, Sam. What happened on that horrible day was not your fault. You didn't force James to pull that trigger."

Sam covered his face with his hands. "I know. But what you don't know is that when James found out I was over there he got scared for me. I was his only friend. He wanted to save me."

"Yes, but didn't you also tell me that James said he would handle Reverend Barnes when you wanted to go to the police? I feel he already had plans to kill him."

"I get what you're saying, yet I feel like if I had just stayed home and endured a beating from my father then James wouldn't have gone over there."

"You don't know that for sure."

Sam was quiet for a moment then he said: "I don't think I'm ready to see him just yet. I'm afraid of what he

might say. I don't know how to face him."

"Right now we are focusing on your well being and I think it would be better if we handle that first and then see how to approach James. How does that sound?"

"That sounds ok. I think about him a lot. I have nightmares about him. In the last one I had, he shot Mercedes and Finn."

Rosa sat her teacup on the glass table in front of them.

"Why do you suppose you dreamed that?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that I can't lose Mercedes and Finn. I love them too much."

"Everyone fears losing someone they love, that's natural. But for you it's a little different. It has more to do with guilt. We're going to work on letting go of it."

"I don't deserve them."

"Sam, everyone deserves love."

"Not when they've caused pain like I have. A dead husband. A locked up kid. Just everything."

"Sam – "

"Reverend Barnes' wife was pregnant when it happened."

"She was?"

Sam nodded. Then he remembered the awful incident.

**XXX**

_It was about two years after the assault on Christmas Eve. Sam was home for winter break. He usually never came home for the holidays and always opted to stay with some of his friends from boarding school, but his grandparents insisted that he come home that year and since they were paying his tuition, he had to obey them. He took the train from Chattanooga to his small hometown of Bethel Rock. The train station was an old red brick building that was usually deserted because not too many people came to Bethel Rock – it was a town so tiny that if you blinked you would miss it._

_While he waited for his mother, he sat on the hard wooden benches and listened to the elderly carolers sing Jingle Bells for the millionth time. They were dressed like elves and pointed red velvet hats sat atop their silver heads. The station was decorated with bright multi-colored lights and sparkling white snowflakes hung from the ceiling. The aroma of coffee and fresh baked cookies wafted through the air. Mr. Claiborne, a round short man who tilted sideways when he walked because of a Vietnam War injury, had been the station manager for over 40 years. He always gave out free treats at Christmas time. Sam nibbled on a sugar cookie and wondered when his mother would_

_arrive; he knew she would be late because a snowstorm raged outside and this worried him._

_As the carolers began to sing Come All Ye Faithful, the heavy double doors creaked open and for a second Sam thought it was his mother, but it was a woman bundled up in a red coat and knitted scarf that covered half of her face, she held the hand of a little girl about 2 years old who wore a puffy pink coat and scuffed white snow boots. They stamped the snow off their feet and just as she unwound her scarf, Sam's eyes locked with the woman's and his heart dropped: it was Reverend Barnes' wife. Why she was there was a mystery to Sam. After the shooting, she left town and nobody thought they would ever see her again, but now she stood there staring at him. The little girl tugged her arm impatiently and shouted: "Mommy! Bathroom now! Gotta pee pee!"_

_She ignored her daughter and kept staring at Sam and then she walked over to him, dragging the child with her. Sam couldn't breathe, seeing her come toward him brought everything back, her dark eyes never left his, his mouth was dry and the sugar cookie suddenly tasted like saw dust. The carolers droned on in their shrill voices. Reverend Barnes' wife, Peggy was her name, stood over him, her frizzy red hair standing every which way, Sam noticed the gold angel pin on the collar of her coat._

"_Constance doesn't have a father," she said, raising her voice above the awful singing._

"_What?"_

"_My daughter Constance doesn't have father!"_

"_Daddy in heaven," Constance said cheerfully as if her father had just joined the circus._

"_I don't – " Sam began._

"_You ruined everything! You and your friend, how could you not know? He was better. We got him help and he was better before you two came along."_

"_I'm sorry," Sam whispered, he was scared and he wanted her to go away, there was something so sinister in her dark eyes. He just needed her to go away._

"_Sorry doesn't bring her father back!" Now she was screaming and Constance began to cry._

"_Mommy, no yelling!"_

_She lunged at Sam and he felt her cold, bony hands around his neck, he struggled and fought back, her breath was foul – it wasn't alcohol but something else he couldn't place. He punched the side of her face and then someone yanked her off of him._

"_Get the hell off my nephew!" It was Uncle Leroy. He shoved her to the floor. Constance sat crouched in a ball crying and Sam noticed a dark stain spreading across her pastel pink sweatpants: the poor child had peed herself._

_By then the carolers had stopped singing and surrounded them, and Mr. Claiborne came limping out of the station office demanding to know what was going on. Sam's heart broke for the little girl and he wanted to hug her, he reached out for her but she pulled away and crawled over to her mother, who was on her knees, muttering and crying to herself, Constance wrapped her arms around her mother but the woman seemed to not notice that she was there._

"_Sam, are you alright?" Uncle Leroy said touching his shoulder._

"_Just get me out of here," Sam said, hating that everyone's eyes were on them._

"_I don't know what happened, but I'm calling the police," Mr. Claiborne said, gazing at Uncle Leroy with disdain._

"_You go on and do that. This crazy bitch attacked my nephew." Uncle Leroy responded as he put a protective arm around Sam._

"_He's your uncle?" Mr. Claiborne asked Sam, his bushy eyebrows raised in disbelief. Sam knew that Mr. Claiborne was probably wondering how this tall, bald headed black man was his uncle, and it angered him because why did it matter?_

"_Yes, he's my uncle and she attacked me."_

"_He's telling the truth," one of the carolers said, "That woman just jumped on that kid."_

_Mr. Claiborne looked at the disheveled group before him and then said to Peggy:_

"_Do you need medical attention?"_

_She didn't answer him. A woman in a plaid vest and skirt helped Peggy and Constance off of the floor and as she led them away, Peggy looked over her shoulder and said to Sam:_

"_You killed my husband and you killed her father."_

"_Leave him alone!" Uncle Leroy growled and Peggy winced before being ushered away with her daughter in tow._

_Constance stared at Sam, her dark eyes never left his until they were out of sight, tears ran down her chubby cheeks and all Sam wanted to do was hold her._

_After they gathered up his things, they walked out into the snowstorm, the blistering cold burned Sam's cheeks. Bethel Rock was covered in a soft white blanket of snow. The town clock chimed off the hour, the bells clanging in a pleasant harmony that was so familiar to Sam. When they were finally on the road, Sam asked Uncle Leroy why he was there since his mother and Aunt Patty haven't spoken in a long time._

"_Well Patty wanted to mend fences with her family and decided to come to Tennessee for the holidays. She surprised everyone. She's still not speaking to your grandma. Anyway, your mother had car trouble and we don't know where your father is so I volunteered to come get you."_

"_Thank you for what you did back there."_

"_Not a problem. Patty told me some stuff so I have a pretty good idea about what that woman was saying and I want you to know that she was crazy and wrong. You understand that, right?"_

"_Yeah I do."_

_It was getting dark and Uncle Leroy cursed under his breath because of the bad road conditions._

"_Hey, this ain't a sundown town is it?" He said in a joking manner._

"_Huh?" Sam said._

_Leroy laughed. "Never mind, Sam. It's really good to see you. Merry Christmas."_

"_Merry Christmas, Uncle Leroy," Sam said and closed his eyes. He still felt Peggy's hands around his neck and her last words haunted him._

**XXX**

"Your Uncle Leroy was right. That woman was crazy. I feel sorry for her daughter," Rosa said after Sam finished his story.

"I know but I'm just coming to terms with it. I never really talked about that incident before. It happened and I blocked it out. Part of me believed her."

Rosa placed her hand on his shoulder: "There's no need to believe a delusional woman who can't face the truth about her pedophile husband. She wanted someone to blame and you were an easy target."

"Yeah, I hear you. I still don't get why she was in town that day. My mother heard that she had to be hospitalized after the incident and her daughter went to stay with relatives. I wonder about Constance sometimes; she was just a little girl getting dragged into all that shit."

"Sam, it amazes me how open your heart is. That's one of your greatest qualities. Don't ever lose it."

"Thanks, Rosa. I hate that she saw me hit her mother."

"I understand but that was self defense."

"Hopefully, she doesn't remember any of it," Sam said as he glanced at the clock on her windowsill, "Wow, we've been talking for over 2 hours, why didn't you stop me? Did I mess up your other appointments?"

Rosa stood up and stretched. "No worries, you were my last appointment for today so it's fine. Besides, you needed to talk about all this stuff and I'm glad you did."

Sam stood up as well and hugged her. "Thank you, Rosa. You really are a lifesaver."

"Just doing my job, and you're doing all the hard work by getting through this. I'm proud of your progress."

Sam's heart was warmed by her words. It was nice to hear that someone was actually proud of him. Now he faced the challenge of telling Finn and Mercedes what troubled him.

* * *

**_SOMETIMES IT TAKES A FRIEND TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH_**

Despite Rosa's encouragement and insight, Sam still hesitated about telling Finn and Mercedes his fears. He avoided them for a few days giving excuses about work and helping his mother around the house. He picked up extra shifts at the deli and the work helped him focus on something else. But he hated being a coward. One day during their afternoon break, Dylan asked him what was wrong.

"Why do you think something is wrong?" Sam asked as he leaned against Dylan's beat-up red Toyota. They were in the parking lot behind the deli.

Dylan lit a cigarette and shrugged. His black hair shined in the sun.

"I don't know man, you're like really zoned out or something. Like today you almost put vinegar in the chicken soup, you never do shit like that. Is it your sister? I thought she was doing better."

Sam was touched that he asked about Stacey, and it surprised him when Dylan bought her a pink stuffed bunny. Even though he refused to give it to her himself saying he "didn't do" hospitals, the gesture still meant a lot to Sam.

"Stacey's condition is still improving. She really loves that bunny she's all happy because now Maggie has a friend."

"Who's Maggie?"

"That's her doll. Stevie says she thinks it's a real person, but I don't think so. Stacey is just imaginative," Sam's eyes began to tear up, thinking about how close they came to losing her, "She's really something special, you know?"

Dylan patted his shoulder and nodded.

"Yeah, I hear you. I'm glad she liked it."

They were silent for a few moments then Sam said:

"It's Finn and Mercedes. I have to tell them something and I'm worried about what their reaction might be. So I've been avoiding them."

Dylan took a drag of his cigarette.

"Look, the way you talk about those two, they sound like they really love you so whatever it is you have to say, I don't think they will lose their shit, unless it's something really bad."

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me what it is I have to tell them."

"I get that it's private. I'm terrible about giving relationship advice anyway, but don't avoid them anymore; you're only hurting them.

Sam sighed. "I know."

"Just do it and get it over with. Besides what if they think you're cheating on them?"

"I would never cheat on them!"

"Dude, I get that, but avoiding them looks really fishy. I guess I see it differently because just before my ex-girlfriend broke up with me for that old guy, she stopped returning my calls and all of sudden she was just too busy to hang out with me."

Sam shook his head. "Finn and Mercedes trust me. They know that I wouldn't do anything to hurt them."

"Then why are you treating them like this?"

"I don't know."

"Hey, remember that picture you showed me of the three of you at Mercedes' house? All of you had your arms wrapped around each other and you're grinning at the camera like you won the lottery?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Did anything special happen that day?"

"No, we were just happy that's all."

"That's my point. Why are you running away from that? If I had someone in my life that made me smile like that on an ordinary day for no reason, the last thing I would do is hide from them."

Sam recalled when Santana took that picture and said they were sickening beyond words, but it was nice to see how they loved each other. Dylan stared at him, his dark eyes pensive. Sam reached over and gave Dylan a hug, catching him off guard. He dropped his cigarette and awkwardly returned the hug.

"Uh, dude, I'm glad you liked what I said, but you should probably give me some type of warning," Dylan mumbled.

Sam pulled away quickly, his face turning red.

"Sorry, man, I got carried away. But thanks for saying what you said. It put things in perspective. I'm going to tell them after work today."

Dylan smiled. "Good to know. I hope everything works out for you. Hey, when is that barbecue again?"

"The week after next," Sam said as he bent down to tie his shoe, "You can still make it can't you?"

"Definitely. So who's going to be there?"

"Some friends from school. Not many people."

"So do I need to bring anything?"

"No, but thanks for asking. We got that covered. Mercedes is looking forward to meeting you."

Dylan lit another cigarette. "She is? Why? I've never had anyone look forward to meeting me; it's usually the opposite."

Sam laughed. "She likes meeting new people that know about our relationship and don't give a shit about it like you do."

"It takes too much effort to be judgmental. At least that's what my sponsor always says."

Sam was confused. "Sponsor? For what?"

"It's my sponsor for Narcotics Anonymous, remember my church basement meetings?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. Besides I don't talk about it much anyway."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I don't know much about stuff like that, but I can listen," Sam said.

"Thanks, Sam."

"No problem."

Sam gazed up at the sky and smiled. He was finally ready to face Finn and Mercedes.

* * *

**_WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER_**

After he left work, Sam went to Dairy Queen and picked up three M&M Blizzards for himself, Mercedes and Finn. He then called them and asked them to meet him at the Lima Botanical Gardens. They agreed to come without any questions and Sam was glad; it would be hard to explain over the phone. He sat in the gazebo in the azalea garden and began to eat his Blizzard, the sweet vanilla ice cream and M&Ms were delicious.

A gentle breeze was blowing and he closed his eyes and enjoyed the peaceful stillness around him. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Finn and Mercedes walking toward him, with Finn limping a little and leaning into Mercedes for support. Finn whispered something in her ear and she laughed. Sam was pleased to see her wearing a pretty purple halter dress that complimented her figure and fit snugly across her chest, he noticed her weight loss, not that he cared either way, Mercedes was beautiful no matter what. Finn's arm was wrapped around her and he wore a smile a mile wide, to the casual observer they would seem mismatched, but Sam knew better and he knew they were perfect for each other and for him. When they got to the gazebo, the three embraced and Sam held on tight, kissing them both on the lips. The botanical gardens were usually deserted on the weekdays, so Sam wasn't worried about anybody bothering them, and he felt more at ease.

Once they were seated with Mercedes between them, he handed them their Blizzards and Finn eagerly took his.

"Dude, you're awesome. I was craving one of these," Finn said as he dug into the ice cream.

"You're always craving these," Mercedes teased and kissed him on the cheek.

"So I guess you guys are probably wondering why I've been avoiding you these past few days and why I wanted to meet you here today," Sam said as he reached for Mercedes' hand and held it.

"It crossed our minds," Finn responded.

"Please tell us what's wrong. We're really worried about you. If you don't' want to go to Kentucky anymore, that's fine, but don't shut us out," Mercedes said.

"I'm sorry that I worried you. I still want to go to Kentucky," Sam said, he then paused and continued, "You know I love you both more than anything. When we talked about me and Finn taking things further, I was all for it, but now I'm scared I might have flashbacks of the rape, that doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with Finn it's just that we're gonna have to go really slow and if I end up panicking and having flashbacks we'll have to stop." He looked at them anxiously.

Finn got up and hugged Sam.

"Babe, of course we can take things slow. I would never want you to be scared or have bad memories come back. I love you. Nothing has to happen in Kentucky or any other time after that, when it happens, it happens and it will be right for all of us. We've been reading up on this and we found out that sometimes things like sounds and smells can make you re-live the attack all over again. Do you have anything you want us to avoid?

Sam was speechless. Here he was thinking they might be angry with him and Finn just revealed they had been doing research about his problem. He kissed Finn tenderly then he kissed Mercedes.

"You two have no idea how much that means to me, you're just amazing and I love you both." Sam said, his voice getting caught in his throat.

"We said we're in this together and we meant it," Mercedes said, "Don't ever be afraid to tell us anything."

"You know, I'm still not used to having somebody support me like this."

"Baby, you better get used to it," Mercedes said and kissed him.

"Oh, I most definitely will," Sam said then added, "Rosa wants me to make a list of all the things that make me comfortable and what doesn't; I'll let you guys see it when I am done."

"That's a good idea," Mercedes said.

"Yeah, I think so too," Finn said as he sat back down and dug into his Blizzard again, "Do you feel better now, Sam?"

Sam smiled. "I feel much better and I'm really looking forward to our trip."

"Kurt said the house was gorgeous. And there's a lake for swimming," Mercedes said.

Finn raised his eyebrows. "We should go skinny dipping."

"As much as I love Kurt and Blaine, I don't think I want to see them in the buff," Mercedes said.

"Not with them - just the three of us. We could do it at night or something. Both of you are fucking beautiful; I think it would be sexy as hell," Finn said around a bite of ice cream.

"I'm all for it," Sam said as he kissed Mercedes' cheek, "And you're pretty hot yourself, Finn. This is one of your fantasies isn't it?"

Finn blushed and mumbled, "Ok, so maybe it is. That's not such a bad thing is it?"

"Of course it isn't and speaking of fantasies, when are we going to act out yours, Cedes?" Sam said with a mischievous grin, "You told us all about it, remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but I'm surprised that you do. We talked about that months ago."

"We could never forget something like that," Sam said.

Finn leaned into her and kissed her neck "I know I remember every detail. That was one hot fantasy."

"I can't believe I told you two about it," Mercedes said, looking down at her hands, "I'm kind of embarrassed."

Sam lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes, "Hey, we're going to be together forever, so don't ever be embarrassed about anything you tell us. I love that we know that part of you. It's good to know that Finn isn't the only kinky one."

Mercedes laughed. "Gee, thanks a lot Sam!"

"I like being kinky," Finn said as he licked his spoon.

"We know," Sam and Mercedes said in unison and the three of them burst out laughing and Sam didn't know when he ever felt so free and so loved. Then he got an idea.

"Let's do it now."

"What? Are you serious?" Mercedes was a little flustered, but her tone was excited.

"Sure, why not? You know you want to," he said lowering his voice, "I can tell by that look in your eyes."

Sam watched her face and marveled at the slight flush in her cheeks and how her breathing became shallow. Without another word, he kissed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth, savoring the taste of vanilla ice cream and chocolate candy, her lips were cold but soon turned warm as his kiss became more forceful. She moaned into his mouth and he knew she wanted this as much as they did. Finn was licking and kissing her neck. Suddenly she pulled away from them, her eyes heavy lidded and lustful. She gasped for breath.

"So?" Sam asked.

"I want to," she whispered.

Sam's heart raced and he and Finn gazed at each other for a moment. That was all the encouragement they needed to give her what she wanted, and boy was Sam ready to give it to her.

* * *

**_TELL ME YOUR FANTASY_**

Mercedes never felt so bold in her life, here she was about to do something she only dreamed about, something so sexually decadent that the mere thought of it made her wet. She questioned her sanity, but she figured it had gone out the window when she said yes, so she decided to enjoy herself.

Sam and Finn untied the straps of her halter dress and pulled them down, revealing her purple lace covered breasts; her nipples were hard and poked through the flimsy material.

"Anybody can come along at any moment and catch us fucking you and that's what turns you on doesn't it?" Sam said, taunting her as they squeezed her large mounds still confined in her bra that was too small for her ample bosom, the tops of her breasts overflowed in the lacy cups. Then he whispered in her ear, "You like us playing with your tits, don't you?"

Mercedes could only nod. It was too much effort to speak. They gently pinched her nipples and she cried out, biting her bottom lip and moaning. Her panties were soaked. She needed to feel their hands on her bare skin.

"I want more," she whispered.

Together they slowly unfastened the hooks of her bra, and with each hook, more flesh was revealed and they placed soft, wet kisses on her exposed skin. Mercedes gripped the bench and pressed her thighs together. It was difficult to breathe.

"What's wrong, Cedes? Is this too much for you? Do you want us to tear off those pretty panties and pound that tight little pussy of yours - is that it? You know we can smell you, baby, you're probably so wet right now, am I right?" Sam asked as he undid the final hook of her bra and captured as much of her breast into his greedy mouth as he could. His long blonde hair tickled her skin as he sucked her huge breast; Finn latched his mouth onto the other one, and then he stopped and said:

"Why don't I check to see if that's what Mercy wants?"

He reached under her dress and parted her legs. As soon as he moved the damp, fabric aside and his large fingers probed her pussy, Mercedes' body jerked in response, a jolt of pleasure surged through her, and she let out a small cry. Much to her disappointment, he didn't pump his fingers like she wanted him to. Instead he quickly removed his hand, and held it in front of Sam's mouth and he eagerly sucked Mercedes' juices from Finn's fingers.

"Baby, your pussy always tastes so good," Sam said and kissed Mercedes as he continued to knead her breast. She loved how she tasted on his lips.

Then he pulled Finn toward him, claiming his mouth with his own. Mercedes tugged on her nipples, as she watched their intense make out session. Sam dominated the kiss, pushing his tongue far into Finn's mouth with Finn moaning in response. Suddenly they broke apart and Sam took off his t-shirt, revealing his beautifully sculpted chest and abs, and Finn did the same, licking his lips as he gazed at Sam, they shared another kiss with their bare chests pressed together, their muscular arms wrapped around one another.

They separated once again to kiss Mercedes' neck, sucking and licking her sensitive flesh; Finn nipped her skin between his teeth, leaving tiny bite marks near her throat. They took turns kissing her, with Finn gently exploring her mouth with his tongue, while Sam was more aggressive; each boy was different but no less satisfying for Mercedes and those kisses left her breathless. Finally they attached their mouths again to her breasts, and she stroked their heads, relishing the feel of their tongues and lips on her skin.

"Remember what you said?" Sam asked as his hand crept between her thighs, his fingers gliding across her wet slit.

"Sam, shit, oh…"

"Maybe we should help her remember, what do you think, Finn?" Sam asked.

Finn was busy sucking and squeezing her tits, but he stopped for a moment to respond:

"Oh, I think we can refresh her memory."

Together they hiked up her dress and pulled off her damp panties, dragging them slowly down her thick legs. They parted her thighs and stared at her pussy.

"Look at her muscles clenching," Sam remarked as he lightly touched her inner labia, "You're so hot right now, baby, I want you to tell us what you said, can you do that?"

His feather light touches were killing her. Damn, those boys had her in a heat that she never experienced before; she couldn't think or see straight.

"Tell us where the man is, Mercy," Finn whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, where is he?" Sam asked, "Is he over there in that azalea bush, is he waiting for us to fuck you?"

"Yes," Mercedes said, her voice shaking, "He's in the bushes and he wants to look at my pussy before you fuck me!"

"I knew she would remember," Sam said as he and Finn spread her legs even further apart, "Well, he's got a good view of it now," he mused before pressing a kiss to her pussy.

The moment his full lips touched her pulsating core, Mercedes almost came undone but not quite. She whimpered softly.

"Holding out on us, are you?" Sam said, "Do you want us to show him your lovely ass? He's seen your pussy and tits, let him see your ass, would you like that?"

"How, how did you know?" She gasped.

"We remember every detail," Finn said and kissed her.

"Do you think he will like my ass?" Mercedes asked.

Sam kissed her inner thigh. "Cedes, why wouldn't he like it? He loved everything else. If anyone ever finds any part of you less than beautiful, they're not worth the crap on the bottom of your shoe. Now stand up and bend over so we can show him this big, gorgeous ass."

Mercedes stood on wobbly legs as they gently bent her over the bench, bunching up the dress around her wide waist, revealing her bare, stretch marked ass.

"He wants us to spank your ass, doesn't he?" Finn asked, his voice thick with lust.

She nodded and clutched the wooden railing, her breasts swung freely, her ass and pussy were exposed, and her heart pounded. Her nipples were hard and erect, begging to be sucked again. Never in her life did she feel such pleasure; it was everywhere, every part of her body tingled. What if someone came along the azalea path? What if there was someone in the bushes getting off on seeing her like this – laid out, ready to be fucked? A thrill rushed through her.

"How hard does he want it spanked?" Sam asked as he ran his hand across one of her cheeks.

Mercedes looked over her shoulder and responded:

"As hard as I can stand it."

Without another word, they began smacking her ass with all their strength, Mercedes screamed because the pain was so fucking good she couldn't stand it. Finn was on her right, and Sam on her left, each slap sent shivers through her body, her ass jiggled and bounced and the harder they smacked her cheeks, the more she wanted, more, more…

"Fuck, fuck, oh shit, fuck!" She cried out as the spanking continued she held onto the railing for dear life and her knees ached as she knelt on the bench but it was all worth it. She loved the loud slap of their big hands as they spanked her generous derriere.

When they were finished, Mercedes' ass was on fire, tears streamed down her face and then she felt them licking and kissing her ass cheeks, even blowing on her hot skin to cool her down.

"Oh, so good," she whispered.

"Your ass is so red right now. You liked that spanking didn't you? But our show isn't over is it?" Sam said.

She shook her head, gasping for breath. She looked over her shoulder and saw Finn shove his index finger into her pussy; he pumped it a few times. Her thighs quivered - each stroke had her moaning. She was reaching the brink. He looked at her and said:

"What else does he want?"

"I said it already," she retorted with a bit of sass.

"We want to hear you say it again," Sam said and pinched one of her nipples, twisting it between his fingers, "Go, on, say it!"

"He wants you to fuck me!" she shouted, her voice echoing throughout the garden. Sam and Finn quickly shed the rest of their clothes, their big cocks hard and ready for her. Mercedes couldn't wait to get them inside her.

Suddenly, she heard a woman's voice:

"Agnes, did you hear that? Such language!"

"Well, Mabel, what do you expect from today's generation?"

Then she heard footsteps. Mercedes froze. _This cannot be happening._

"Where is that lovely gazebo?"

"I think it's over this way."

The three of them scrambled to get dressed, but there wasn't time, the two women were approaching. Mercedes tried to fix her dress, but Sam and Finn grabbed her hands and together they ran and hid behind the pink azalea bushes, forgetting about their clothes. Thankfully, Mercedes was not completely nude, they never took off her dress only bunched it up around her waist, but her underwear was still in the gazebo. Finn and Sam weren't so lucky. They were naked as jaybirds. Sam's hair looked wild, his ponytail had come undone, and his green eyes were wide and anxious. The only thing he wore was the angel necklace. He held a finger to his lips, gesturing for them to keep as quiet as possible. Finn crouched low and put his arm around Mercedes, rubbing her back in a reassuring manner though he was shaking himself. Mercedes kissed his cheek to calm him down. Then she squeezed Sam's hand. They heard the two women step inside the gazebo; the wooden floor planks creaked.

"My, word, Agnes, look at this! Somebody left their clothes and – oh dear, are those panties?"

Mabel clucked her tongue. "I tell you these kids are just animals, well in my day, we were all respectable ladies."

"I blame the 70s," Agnes said, "Well I don't want to stay here. It's not what I remembered anyway, besides, I smell something strange."

"Me too and if I had to guess I would say it was – "

"Don't say it! I know what you're thinking. Besides the evidence is here, let's go. I hear they fixed the fountain we can throw in some pennies."

"Yes, make a wish for this poor girl," Mabel said.

The three of them waited for a few moments until they were certain the women were gone before they emerged from behind the bushes. Then they burst out laughing, as relief washed over them. Finn and Sam quickly dressed. Mercedes didn't bother to put her underwear back on. Her boyfriends looked at her curiously as they tied her dress straps. She handed the bra to Sam and the panties to Finn.

"You guys should have a souvenir from today," Mercedes said as she kissed each of them on the cheek.

"But it got ruined," Sam responded.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me, and besides you encouraged me to live on the edge, how could that be a bad thing?"

"I hate to be the pessimist, but I really wanted to keep going for obvious reasons," Finn said.

"Me too," Sam said.

"I see your point. Do you guys have time to come to my place?"

"We'll make time. Come on Finn, let's get our girl out of here," Sam said as he grabbed Mercedes' hand.

They rushed out of the garden, and Mercedes loved how her braless breasts bounced and how free she felt without the confines of underwear. The boys must have noticed because every now and then their hands would squeeze her ample bosom or caress one of her ass cheeks.

"You should do this no underwear thing more often," Sam commented when they reached the parking lot.

"I agree. You're like smoking hot right now, Mercy," Finn said, and reached inside the front of her dress and tweaked her hard nipple. She moaned at the quick contact and then said:

"I couldn't do this all the time because we would definitely get arrested."

They laughed as they ushered her into Finn's car; Sam was parked a few feet away. The sky suddenly turned gray, threatening to rain and the air was cool. As Finn drove back to her house, Mercedes reminded him to obey the speed limit. He chuckled nervously and kept his eyes on the road. It started raining hard. Mercedes turned on the radio, and soon she was singing along to an old Janet Jackson song:

_In the thundering rain_

_You stare into my eyes_

_I can feel your hand moving up my thighs_

_Skirt around my waist_

_Wall against my face_

_I can feel your lips_

At a red light, Finn's hand moved up her thigh, pulling the dress up to her waist exposing her smooth bare skin. Mercedes moaned and glanced over at the car across from them, a young man with brown hair and an earring gave her a curious look and Mercedes only smiled and leaned back in her seat.

_I don't wanna stop just because_

_People walkin'by watchin'us_

_I don't give a damn what they think_

His hand dipped between the juncture of her thighs as he pulled into her driveway with Sam behind them.

_I want you now_

_I don't wanna stop just because_

_You feel so good inside of my love_

_I'm not gonna stop no no no_

_I want you all I wanna say is_

_Anytime, anyplace I don't care who's around_

_Anytime, and any place I don't care who's around_

"You like that Mercy?" Finn whispered.

Mercedes bucked against his hand as his fingers found their way into her pussy and began pumping slowly. Sam peered into the car window and Finn unlocked the door. Sam snatched it open and captured her mouth in a kiss as he shoved his hand beneath the front of her dress and roughly palmed her exposed breast. Finn continued to pump his fingers. A few moments later, Mercedes came, gripping the seat, mumbling incoherently. Sam pulled her from the car into the pouring rain, picked her up and carried her to the front door with Finn trailing behind them. Finn pushed passed them and unlocked the front door, and they stumbled inside. Sam set Mercedes down and then without any warning, he and Finn tore off her dress, ripping the damp fabric. She was too far-gone to even care. The boys undressed and stood there naked and panting as they gazed at her; they each had a raging hard-on. They turned her around so that she faced the wall. Their hands glided up and down her back and then they grabbed her ass and squeezed it hard.

"Push your ass out, lean forward, and spread your legs" Sam said.

Mercedes did as he instructed, her palms pressed against the wall.

"Spread them wider, don't think you can hide that sweet pussy from us," Finn said.

Mercedes spread her legs wider. She was wet. Without another word, Sam grabbed her ample hips and slammed into her from behind, thrusting, pounding, Mercedes cried out, her mouth hung open, Finn was beside her stroking his cock.

"You like how I'm fucking you into the wall, don't you?" Sam said, his voice low, "You should see how your big, pretty ass is shaking."

Mercedes closed her eyes and moaned. She was about to come, her cries grew louder and more high pitched when suddenly Sam shouted:

"Now!"

He pulled out and they spun her around; Finn wrapped her thick legs around his waist, and rammed into her from the front - these were not gentle, teasing strokes. He used all his strength as he pounded into her, hitting her G-spot. He frantically worked his hips, his face bright red. The thrusts were painful, but it was the good kind of pain. She was soon coming, with Finn following suit, moaning in her ear, filling her with his warm cum, then he disappeared and Sam was there, finishing the home stretch, and coming inside her pussy as well, her legs were weak and he held her up. He kissed Finn as her body shook from the orgasm, and seeing them in a passionate lip lock, made her come even harder. Finally, he pulled out of her and the three of them kissed, both boys wrapped their arms around her, making sure she didn't fall to the floor.

Finn carried her upstairs to her bedroom, where he dropped her onto the king sized bed, causing her body to jiggle and sway. In the past, this would've embarrassed her but now, she could careless. Sam stared down at her.

"We're taking that ass and pussy at the same time," he said. His long blonde hair hung loosely at his shoulders and his green eyes were glazed over with lust.

Mercedes almost came again at those words. She had never felt sexier. Sam hopped onto the bed and laid back, his beautiful, hard cock was ready for her.

"Ride me," he ordered.

Mercedes lowered herself onto his cock, groaning as it slid into her wet heat, and Finn was behind her, easing his fingers into her asshole, getting her ready for entry. Then he inched his huge cock in slowly and Mercedes was stuffed to the brim. They began to move, her hips gyrated between them, swaying to and fro, Sam grabbed hold of her big, bouncing tits, and sucked her nipples, biting down on them as hard as she could stand. Finn pummeled her from behind, showing no restraint, she felt his chest pressed against her back. His hands gripped her hips as he thrust into her. Mercedes was loosing control – she could barely speak.

"We don't want you walking straight once we're done," Sam said as he tried to drive himself deeper inside her.

"Too bad the man in the bushes is missing out," Finn huffed from behind her, "Damn, your ass feels good, Mercy." He then smacked it hard.

Mercedes cried out and bit her lip. She responded in a raspy voice:

"Don't you know he followed us home? And he's staring through my bedroom window?"

Sam grinned and played along.

"Can't say I blame him. We have the most gorgeous, sexy, beautiful girl in the world between us, and we're fucking her senseless."

Mercedes' movements became erratic, Sam's face glistened with sweat and Finn panted behind her. They were all so close.

"Everybody hold hands. I want us to feel this together. I love you both so much," Sam gasped reaching for their hands. The three held hands just as a massive orgasm surged through them, they screamed so loud that it almost hurt Mercedes' ears, but she that was a minor discomfort compared to the awesome pleasure she felt coursing through her body.

She fell on top of Sam who embraced her, whispering how much he loved her and Finn, who was beside them, hugging them close and kissing their sweaty faces. Mercedes felt the aftershocks of the explosive orgasm, and Sam and Finn gently stroked her back, calming her down. Finally, they tucked her between them, kissing her and telling just how beautiful she was.

"You don't know how gorgeous you are, especially when you come and you're screaming and shaking, not holding anything back," Sam said and then kissed her.

"Do you now see what we see?" Finn asked he as he stroked her cheek, his hazel eyes searched hers for answers.

Mercedes nodded. "I see it now. The reason why I had that fantasy is because I became this girl who wasn't ashamed of her body; I was bold and daring. And I got off on a random stranger thinking that I'm this sexy goddess with the body I possess. That was the heart of it. And you both made it a reality. I'm lying here and it feels like I'm dreaming."

"You're not dreaming, sweetheart," Finn murmured before planting a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth, then he said, "You should see how your eyes are shining."

"He's right," Sam said, "Your eyes are so bright right now," he kissed her forehead and said, "I'm happy that we satisfied you. That was like the hottest thing ever, but were we ever too rough? I know I got carried away."

"No, not at all. That was part of the fantasy and I loved it."

Finn pulled her toward him and kissed her.

"I was worried a few times. I'm a big guy and I'm usually really careful with you because I never want to hurt you," Finn said.

Mercedes snuggled against him and replied:

"Baby, everything was wonderful. Neither one of you has ever hurt me. I told you my fantasy and you both delivered it. I couldn't be happier."

Sam kissed her shoulder. "I was really surprised about the roughness of your fantasy when you first told us."

"It surprised me too, but I guess it's just another part of me." Mercedes said.

"I'm glad we know that part of you," Finn said.

Mercedes gave them each a kiss and told them she loved them. They returned her kisses eagerly and declared their love for her as they wrapped their arms around her. The only sound was the rain beating against her bedroom window as they all fell asleep.

* * *

**_FIRST STEP FOR SAM AND FINN_**

Finn woke up first. He gazed at his boyfriend and girlfriend still fast asleep and he smiled to himself. They were beautiful. Sam held Mercedes in a tight embrace, his long blond hair spread across the pillow. Mercedes lay on her side facing Finn, her pretty face looked so peaceful. He kissed them on their foreheads and quietly slipped out of bed. He went to the bathroom for a drink of water, and when he came back, he found Sam moving about on the bed moaning, his face flushed, and his breathing labored. Finn never saw anything hotter in his life – he figured it must have been one intense dream. On impulse, he walked over to Sam, leaned down and kissed his full lips. Sam wrapped his arms around Finn's neck and pulled him down until he was on top of Sam. His eyes flew open.

"Babe, how did you get here?"

"You were dreaming and well… I kissed you."

Sam pressed his forehead against Finn's.

"Yeah, it was intense."

"What was it about?"

"I don't remember," Sam said and averted his eyes.

"So you're playing those games, huh?"

"No games. I really don't remember," Sam said smiling up at him.

They began kissing again and Finn felt Sam's hard cock through the thin white sheet. He loved lying on top of Sam like this. He rubbed his cock against Sam's and was pleased to hear him moan at the sensation. Mercedes shifted next to them and opened her eyes. Finn broke the kiss and looked at her.

"Sorry that we woke you," Finn said, leaning over and kissing her.

Sam moved beneath him and tried to sit up.

"Actually, I'm glad she's awake," he said, "I want to tell you two something."

Finn moved so that he was lying next to Sam rather than on top of him and said:

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, of course not."

"What did you have to tell us?" Mercedes asked as she stretched her arms.

"Remember what we talked about earlier and that list I'm supposed to give you?"

"Yes, what about it?" Finn asked.

"One of the things I need for both of you to do is to keep telling me that you love me. It always puts me at ease and I can never hear it enough."

Finn hugged Sam.

"Well, I can never say it enough. I love you."

"I love you too," Mercedes chimed in as she kissed him, "Anything that helps you we will do."

Sam put his arms around them and smiled, "Thank you," he said and then he turned to Finn, "You never told us what types of things you fantasized about doing to me."

Finn felt his face grow hot and his cock hardened; he took a deep breath and responded:

"I dream about taking you in my mouth and swallowing your cum, being buried inside you or vice versa, stuff like that."

"Ok, I want to try something now."

"You do?"

"Yes, I want to feel your mouth on me."

They stared at each other for a moment.

Finn held Sam close and said, "Ok, but tell me if you want me to stop or if you feel uncomfortable. I love you."

"I love you too," Sam said and then turned to Mercedes, "Hold me, will you Cedes? I want you feeling this with me."

Mercedes wrapped her arm around his waist and lay her head on his shoulder. Finn kissed Sam and Mercedes, savoring the feel of their plump lips on his. He loved that both of them had such wonderful, full lips – it made kissing them all the more sweeter. He moved his way down and kissed Sam's chest, then gently tweaking his hard nipples, before flicking his tongue across them. Sam gasped then moaned and Mercedes kissed his cheek and whispered that they loved him in his ear. Finn caressed his magnificent abs, planting soft kisses to his hard, muscled torso, and finally he pulled away the sheet covering the bottom portion of Sam's beautiful body, revealing his hard cock.

Finn could never get over just how perfect Sam was; he and Mercedes were so oblivious to their beauty. He took his hot shaft into his hands and stroked it a few times, causing Sam to cry out in pleasure. Finn then kissed the tip of his cock, and licked the pre-cum, before taking his entire length into his eager mouth. He wasn't sure what he was doing, so he followed his instincts, bobbing his head up and down, sucking Sam's cock. By the sounds Sam was making, Finn figured he was doing it right. He heard Mercedes say:

"Baby, is he loving you good?"

Sam groaned in response, and Finn kept up the pace, he was so proud that he could make Sam feel that good. He worked earnestly and then Sam yelled out as he came, his cum filling Finn's mouth; he swallowed it all, except for the bit that ran down the sides of his mouth. Sam was panting. Mercedes hugged him and kissed the side of his face. Finn reluctantly released his cock; he enjoyed having it in his mouth more than he anticipated. He leaned over and kissed Sam, his tongue entered his mouth slowly, and the kiss was long, sweet and passionate. He then kissed Mercedes who still held onto Sam, and Finn knew in that moment these were the people he would love forever. It was quiet for a while and the three of them just listened to the rain. Finally, Finn said:

"Babe, was everything ok?"

Sam smiled and hugged him. "It was amazing. Both of you made me feel so loved."

"Good," Finn said, "We're always going to take things slow, I promise."

"What time is it?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't know, but we should probably shower and get going," Finn said.

Mercedes face fell.

"I was hoping you two could stay. I miss waking up with you."

"Sweetheart, you know we can't. Our parents are expecting us home; Finn said as he leaned over and stroked her cheek, "I wish we could stay. I miss you guys so much it kills me sometimes."

Mercedes sighed and a tear ran down her cheek.

"I know. I just get lonely sometimes."

Finn and Sam held her close, gently rubbing her back. There were some things that couldn't be helped and this was one of them. Finn wished he could just stay with her until her parents returned, but there was no way his mother and Burt would allow it, it was a big stretch for them to let him go to Kentucky for a three-day weekend.

"We understand," Sam murmured.

"Come on, let's shower," Finn said.

They took a long shower, standing under the spray until the water ran cold. Mercedes clung to them and her sad eyes worried Finn. As they dried her off and rubbed lotion on her body, her eyes grew heavy, and she almost nodded off.

Sam lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom, and together he and Finn tucked her in, staying with her until she was asleep. Then they quietly dressed and went downstairs. Outside the rain was finally letting up.

"Do you think she will be ok?" Finn asked, "I'm worried about her, something is wrong."

"I'm worried too. But I think she'll be alright. Let's call her later on tonight."

"You know what's strange? Why don't her parents have anybody checking on her? I don't get it."

"She has us. She doesn't need anybody else," Sam said, then added, "You know, her period might be starting soon which might explain her crying like that. I remember Quinn was like a leaky faucet that time of the month."

Finn laughed. "I don't know, Sam, I think it's more than that."

They opened the front door and Finn made sure he locked it as they closed it behind them. Before Sam could walk down the steps toward his car, Finn reached for him and kissed him, wrapping his arms around him.

When they broke apart, Sam said, "Wow, what was that for?"

Finn shrugged and gazed into Sam's green eyes, "I don't know I just felt like kissing you."

"You've never done it like that before."

"I know but things are different now."

"They are?"

"Yes, after what happened today, I feel like you trust me more or something, I don't know," Finn looked away from him, feeling foolish.

"I've always trusted you. It's just that my issues get in the way."

"I get that, but sometimes, I felt this wall."

Sam reached for Finn's hand and held it.

"No more walls. It's just gonna be the three of us loving each other. I won't shut you out anymore."

Finn looked down at their clasped hands - Could it be that simple?

"It really hurt when you were avoiding us. I honestly thought you were re-thinking this entire relationship. I got scared. Don't ever do that again, Sam. You don't know how much you mean to me and Mercy."

Sam gathered him in his arms, "I'm so sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

"I'm holding you to that," Finn whispered.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

**Summary:** Mercedes has a flashback into her past. Finn has a barbecue/birthday party. Sam has a talk with Quinn.

**Rating: **Mature

**Warning:** Disturbing flashback scene with Mercedes. Mild sex scenes (at least by my standards) Strong language.

**Author's Note: **Sorry it's been such a long time since I updated, but so much has been happening and life is just crazy right now. Hopefully, I can get back on track with more regular updates. Thank you all for sticking with this odd story. I realized that Chapter 12 was way too long, so I'm making it 2 chapters; hence the somewhat abrupt ending. Also, there's not much sex this time around. There's angst and fluff. Hope you enjoy! **_THANKS FOR ALL THE NICE REVIEWS! I REALLY DO APPRECIATE EVERY ONE OF THEM!_**

* * *

**_GOING HOME_**

Mercedes got up that morning and searched the house. What she was searching for she wasn't certain, but this house had secrets and they closed in on her. Sometimes the way the sunlight shined in her bedroom made her take pause and a pain seized her chest. She walked down the long, empty hallway to her parents' bedroom, a golden palace of times forgotten. She pushed open the heavy door, and willed herself to keep going… she had to keep going. She walked inside. The crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling cast rainbows on the speckled gold walls. When she was a little girl she pretended that an invisible princess lived inside the chandelier, and the only way you could see her was through the rainbows. Sometimes she talked to her like an imaginary friend, until one day her mother placed a cold hand over her mouth, and said the truth was only in what you could see.

She sat on the bed and touched the embroidered roses and thorns on the gold tapestry comforter. Suddenly, she jumped up and yanked off the comforter, throwing it on the floor. Even when her parents were home, the bed never looked slept in – no rumpled sheets or indentations in the feather pillows, instead a there was only regal perfection - a golden bed, with four tall posters that guarded a king and queen, who slept side by side, but never touched. Their room was too beautiful to live in, and only good enough to admire.

Next she grabbed the pearl letter opener from off the nightstand and cut open the pillows, pulling out handfuls of downy white feathers, trying to find something she couldn't name. _What was it that she refused to say out loud?_ The feathers floated in the air, and for a moment she thought of sunshine and popcorn and lazy afternoons with her father in the park, and then the moment past and the panic returned.

Mercedes opened the huge closet filled with their sensible attire: her father had rows of white Oxford shirts and her mother had neutral colored dresses and suits that smelled like Pond's cold cream.

Mercedes touched their clothes, imagining her parents were there, showering her with attention, wanting to know about her life, and they would listen to her teenage woes and tell her everything would be fine because she was such a special girl. Special. The word left a sour taste on her tongue. Pushing the fantasy aside, she kneeled down on the floor and looked in all the dark corners, sometimes she heard a faint whispering – _"You can't be here, not here, why are you here…" _she felt someone grab her arm, who was it that grabbed her? Then nobody was there, and the closet was just a closet. She lost her breath and rushed out. Next she opened the armoire and pushed aside the silk handkerchiefs and beaded handbags, searching for answers hidden in the cracks and that's when she saw a blue leather journal tucked away in the corner of the second drawer; it was next to a stack of photographs.

The photos were all of Amelia at different ages: a sleeping newborn wrapped in a pink blanket, snuggled up against her mother, a toddler in a wading pool, laughing at the camera, and a lanky girl with folded arms and a listless expression, one who was growing up and away from her parents. On the back of the baby picture, her mother had written, "I miss you, I miss you, I miss you…" over and over again until the letters ran together and the ink was smudged.

Mercedes opened the journal. The first entry was dated December 5, 1997 – it read:

_The child doesn't like science. I want her to like science and be something great. But how can she? She likes cookies and Sesame Street. She wants me to read to her. I tried to hug her but somehow our arms don't fit._

The next entry was February 7, 1998:

_The child stays in the kitchen with Randall. She looks like them. I miss baby A. I wish I could have -_

Mercedes dropped the journal and ran into the bathroom. Suddenly, she was four years old again and a pretty woman was lying on the floor.

"_Sleeping beauty, wake up!" Mercedes said to the woman on the floor, "I will cut your hair if you don't!"_

_But Sleeping Beauty stayed still, her arms were flung carelessly to her sides, her hair in twisted waves, spread across the floor like a brown silk carpet. Mercedes touched her skin: it was warm and soft. Broken glass was everywhere and her fingers were bleeding. Pale skin. Red blood._

"_Wake up! Wake up!"_

Mercedes collapsed to the floor and began to cry, the image in her mind started to fade. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. At first she ignored the buzzing sensation, but then she answered it.

"Hello," she said, as she clutched phone to her ear.

"Mercy, I'm outside."

"Finn?"

"Baby, it's ok. I'm coming in."

"No, not right now, Finn. I just need to rest."

She hung up the phone. Then she heard the front door open.

"Mercy! Mercy where are you?"

Mercedes hugged herself and stayed silent. She had to get through this in her own way; the darkness was too great.

"Come on, baby, just let me know where you are!"

She listened to his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, if she didn't know it was him, she would think an evil giant had invaded her home. Finally, she found her voice.

"Finn!"

He ran down the hall and stood in the doorway of the bathroom where she sat on the edge of the tub staring at the floor.

"Mercy?"

She didn't respond. Finn sat down beside her and held her close.

"I don't know what's going on. I just know that something is hurting you. So I came to get you. You're coming home with me. You don't need to be here right now."

"But how did you—"

"You have to understand, I feel you and Sam always. Nothing will ever get past me."

"I think I was dreaming," Mercedes said.

Finn only nodded.

"Come on, let's pack your things," he looked down and saw the pictures and journal on the floor, he picked them up and said: "What's all this?"

Mercedes walked out of the bathroom. She headed down the hall toward her bedroom, where she laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Finn didn't press the issue. He just followed her. Once he was inside her room, he began opening her drawers and pulling out her clothes. He got her suitcase from underneath the bed and started dumping everything inside.

"You know, you have more pairs of red panties than any girl should have."

Mercedes let the tears flow down her cheeks as Finn spoke to her.

"Do you think you'll need tampons?" he asked as he grabbed a bunch of lacy bras, he didn't wait for her to answer, instead he left and went into her bathroom. A few minutes later he was back with a couple of boxes of tampons, and other toiletries like toothpaste and facial cleanser.

Mercedes slowly sat up, wiping her eyes and watching him. He looked at her and said:

"Birth control pills!"

He left once again and came back with the pink packet of pills.

"So, am I forgetting anything?'

Mercedes opened her arms. He walked over to her and the two hugged each other tight.

"Mercy, I don't need you to talk right now, ok? I'm just gonna keep talking enough for the both of us. I love you and you're coming home with me because you're my family."

She clung to him and his arms felt so good wrapped around her. After awhile Finn said:

"I'll fix up my room for you. And I'll sleep in Burt's office on the air mattress. Mom is making Hungarian goulash tonight for dinner and we're going to watch Twilight even though I hate that movie. I won't even get jealous when you drool over Jacob."

Mercedes smiled when he said that and kissed him. She tried to put every emotion into that kiss. Finn reciprocated with just as much feeling. When they broke apart, Finn gazed into her eyes, and then he stood up, pulling her with him.

"It's time to go home."

* * *

**_DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER_**

Sam was sitting in the Lima Bean sipping on a large black coffee when his phone rang. He saw that it was Finn and answered it.

"Hi, babe."

"Hey, Sam, I got her. I had to go get her so I did."

"Wait, why didn't you let me know? I would've gone too. You know I was worried."

"I'm sorry but I just hopped out of bed and did it. I wasn't thinking. I felt like time was running out – it was weird."

"That's ok, how is she?"

"I think she'll be fine. She's upstairs in my room now."

"Lucky, you."

"Sam, don't."

He sighed. For the first time in their relationship, he felt excluded. Now he knew how Finn felt sometimes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. You know I love you both so much and, I don't know, I hate not being there. I was going to go there earlier, I called and left messages, but then Aunt Patty needed the car and I just got off work and now I'm waiting for her to pick me up and - "

"It's ok, really, everything is fine. We love you and you love us. Nothing is complicated. I'll come get you"

"No, you don't have to do that. Aunt Patty will be here soon."

Finn sounded disappointed.

"Oh, well come over later if you can."

"I will, I promise. I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam put his phone back in his pocket. He was glad Mercedes was with her family, but her sad eyes haunted him.

He called her.

"Hello, Sam," she said.

"Hi, baby, Finn let me know he came and got you."

"Yes, it feels good here."

"Did you get my messages?"

"I did and I'm sorry I didn't respond. I was –

"Forget that. How are you feeling?"

"Ok."

"Do you want to talk?"

He heard her sigh and his heart dropped.

"Not right now. You're coming over, right?"

"Yes, I'll be there. I love you, Cedes."

"I love you too. See you when you get here."

Sam sighed as he closed his phone. He was thankful that Mercedes was out of that house. They were her family - plain and simple, and nothing, not even a break up would change that as far as he was concerned. She was his blood, above all else, and he would always take care of her.

Everything was quiet except for the soft murmurs of the staff as they chatted together behind the counter. An old woman sat across from him, nibbling on a scone and reading the paper, but other than that, the place was deserted. He loved how the Lima Bean was decorated in funky colors, with bright yellow walls and purple and green tables; it looked like a kindergarten classroom for adults.

Lots of paintings for sale from local artists hung on the walls, and he sat next to his favorite one: it was a painting of a black woman, lying in bed, her nude body partially covered with a white sheet, her eyes are closed, but there's a hint of a Mona Lisa smile on her full lips. Her hair was in long dreadlocks and twisted with flowers; she was a plump, curvy, earth mother and Sam loved the painting because it reminded him of Mercedes. That's how he saw her: serene, beautiful, perfect. He decided that one day he was going to buy that painting and hang it up in their house.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he recalled the intense lovemaking from the day before - Mercedes' tight walls clenching around him, and Finn slowly taking his cock into his mouth. He smelled their unique scent on his skin: a mixture of sex, something sweet and rainwater – it was better than any perfume, and he hoped it never washed away. He smiled as he touched their initials carved into the table, his fingertips dipping into the grooves of each letter: MJ, FH, and SE. Finn had carved them with a pin knife and said this meant they would be together forever.

One of the baristas put a quarter in the old 1950s jukebox that sat in the corner, and soon the sounds of "Blueberry Hill" filled the coffee shop, and as Fats Domino sang about finding his thrill, Sam thought about Tennessee and his grandmother because this was her favorite song, he remembered her tuneless voice belting out the song as they sat on the front porch of her house, listening to her old 45s and drinking sarsaparilla. She didn't like CDs and iPods scared her. It was funny to Sam how a song could bring back a tiny memory like that. He still couldn't believe she was gone. Sam hummed to the music and was almost sorry when the song was over and the place was quiet again.

He poured more sugar into his coffee, and opened his notebook to finish a song he was working on. Nobody knew about his songwriting - not even Rosa. Sam kept it to himself. For now, these songs were for his ears alone, but he knew eventually he would let everyone hear them. He picked up his guitar and strummed a few chords. He brought it with him to work because he was teaching Mr. Chang how to play. His latest song was for Mercedes and Finn, and it was about how good they made him feel inside, it was difficult for Sam to describe, but their relationship reminded him of how he felt as a little kid riding a Ferris wheel at the carnival, and he thought he could touch the sky when he got to the top – it was like magic, and they kept him reaching higher each time they loved him, and he put all those wonderful feelings to music.

In his barely legible handwriting, he jotted down a few more lyrics. He got stuck on the next verse, and then he remembered something that summed up his feelings. One morning Mercedes and Finn were helping him through what they called an "episode." Even though he was in therapy and on medication, he sometimes had bad memory flashes – he would suddenly feel his father's belt cutting into his flesh or hear a gun shot. An episode felt like his body was submersed in ice water, and he couldn't come up for air. Mercedes said they always knew when one was starting because his face would get pale, and his eyes lost their light. On that morning, she held him close, gently rubbing his back, and Finn sang "Oh Susanna" because that song made Sam feel like he was wrapped in his Grandmother's arms. After the episode passed, the three held each other and told stories and laughed. Finn made grilled cheese for breakfast. Mercedes squeezed the orange juice. Sam said grace while holding their hands and everything in the world was as ordinary as getting the morning paper; his episode changed nothing, and that was why he loved them so much: they made his crazy normal. He kept writing until he felt someone tap his shoulder.

"Hi Sam."

He looked up and saw Quinn standing before him with pink hair, a pierced lip, and lifeless eyes. She wore a black T-shirt with Ryan Sea crest's face plastered on the front and ripped jeans.

"Quinn?"

She laughed, running her hands through her hair, and he saw a silver stud in the middle of her tongue.

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

He shook his head as she plopped down beside him; he got a whiff of cigarette smoke and breath mints. She rested her hands on the table. Her fingers were scarred. Quinn caught him staring.

"I got in a fight."

"What?"

"I know it all sounds weird but – "

"Quinn, what's happened to you?"

She didn't answer at first instead she looked out the window, and said:

"Life happened," she then forced a smile, "So, how is your summer so far?"

"It's been ok I guess."

"Your hair is long."

"Yeah, I decided to let it grow."

Quinn reached out and tugged his ponytail; the touch felt too familiar to Sam and he moved away a little, only Mercedes and Finn touched him like that. A hurt expression flashed through her eyes, but she merely shrugged.

"I guess we both got makeovers."

"Who were you fighting with?"

"Nobody. It was nothing. You know I was in California visiting my Dad."

Sam studied her face, hoping to find the ice princess he once knew. She rolled her eyes.

"Stop it. I don't look that different."

"Yes you do. Cut the bullshit, Quinn, it's me you're talking to, what's really going on?"

She bit her lip and looked away from him.

"Have you ever wanted to feel?"

"What do you mean?"

She scooted closer to the table, her skinny arm brushing against his.

"I mean feel. Really feel life."

"I don't get it. How can you live and not feel?"

"I just do. I'm numb. The last time I felt something I was underwater in the pool, everything rushing in my ears, I just hold onto to that until something else comes along."

Her monotone voice bothered Sam, he wanted to hear that cunning superiority she often wielded when talking to the opposite sex. It wasn't pleasant, but at least it was familiar. He closed his notebook.

"What if nothing else does?"

She smiled, but her eyes stayed cold. "Then I'll just continue to be a bitch," she pointed to his notebook, "So what are you working on?"

He put the notebook in his backpack.

"Nothing. What happened in California?"

"I saw the ocean."

"Quinn you know what I - "

"My father bought me a green dress," she said as she stared out the window, after pausing a moment she added, "I hate the color green. I asked him to sing me Ballerina Girl like he used to when I was little but he forgot the words."

Sam sighed. "Anything else?"

"His girlfriend is pregnant. All she did was talk about the baby and shove sonograms in my face. They're having a girl."

"And all you could think about was Beth?"

Quinn nodded. "Yes, and everything else that happened. I was everyone's dream girl."

"What about the girl you want to be?"

"I don't know who that is."

"Maybe it's time you figured it out, Sam said, as he gestured toward her pink hair and lip piercing, "So is that why you did all this?"

"It suits me, don't you think?"

"No, it doesn't."

She stared down at the table.

"My father doesn't have my picture in his wallet anymore."

"You just need to –"

"What I need is to have my old life back before everything changed.

"That's over."

She hung her head.

"I know, but I keep wishing anyway."

Quinn was like a frozen lake slowly breaking apart with the water rising to the surface. He tried to give her hope.

"Think about it like this. You're getting a little sister. I love being a big brother. It's wonderful. I'll never forget how much fun I had with Sugar and Stevie following me around everywhere I went. Maybe this is your way to heal after Beth. You know what I mean? You get to be someone important in a child's life."

Quinn shrugged. "I'm not like you."

"What do you mean?"

"I bet if you were stranded in the desert and there wasn't a drop of water to be found you would say how pretty the sunlight looked on the sand."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing is wrong with it. It's just that I don't see beauty in pain. I can't do it."

"You mean you won't do it."

"What do you know about anything? You're just an idiot who can't face reality!"

Sam slammed his fist on the table, causing her to flinch.

"I've been through more hell than you could possibly know. Don't fucking tell me I can't face reality. But I choose to find the good cause that's how I survive. Instead of turning myself into a train wreck like you – this isn't who you are," he then lowered his voice and said, "You know that numbness you were talking about? That's just you being a coward, afraid to face shit, not feeling anything is easier than dealing with pain."

Quinn gripped the edge of the table, her knuckles turning white.

"I'm sorry but that girl you knew is gone."

Sam shook his head.

"She's still there, you just have to find her."

"I'm not so sure about that. I tried to put on my Cherrios uniform, but it doesn't fit anymore."

"That's not the girl I'm talking about."

She stared at him for a long moment.

"You changed, Sam."

"I know."

The two fell silent. Quinn twisted a yellow Lima Bean napkin around her fingers as Sam sipped his coffee. He wasn't sure what to say next or if anything needed to be said at all. Finally, he spoke:

"So how long have you been smoking?"

"How did you know I smoked?"

"I smell it on you."

"Oh."

"Is that something you picked up in California?"

"Maybe."

Her eyes grew cold. The icy walls came up again. Sam felt the conversation ending, but Quinn had more to say.

"There's something I want to know."

"What's that?

"Who is she?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at her.

"Who is who?"

"Don't even try it, Sam, who's the girl you're in love with? You're not the only one who can sense things."

"It's Mercedes and Finn."

"I'm not following. Mercedes, I totally understand. She's awesome. But what does Finn have to do with anything?"

"The three of us are in a relationship together."

"A relationship like what?"

"They're my girlfriend and boyfriend. And before you say anything else, it's very serious and not just some sex thing."

Quinn raised her eyebrows.

"Wow."

Sam shrugged and took another sip of his coffee.

"I know it sounds crazy. Believe me I wonder how it all happened, but I thank God everyday that it did."

Suddenly, Quinn lifted up her T-shirt. Sam grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Calm down. I want to show you something." She turned away from him and said, "Look at my new tattoo."

Sam read aloud the quote written in Old English letters on Quinn's back.

_"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person."_

"So what do you think?" Quinn asked as she pulled her shirt back down and faced him again.

"It's cool. But why did you get it?"

"Because I'm always wanting someone."

"So you don't think what we're doing is strange?"

"Of course, I do. But like I said, Mercedes is awesome. She deserves all the love she gets and then some. In fact I love her myself. I miss her."

Sam reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"She misses you too."

"She does?"

"Yeah, she does, I once saw her staring at a picture of you and Beth in the delivery room. Friends mean a lot to her."

Tears fell down Quinn's cheeks.

"I wouldn't say I was a friend anymore."

"Things don't have to stay that way. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure if you reached out to her, she would at least listen to you.

She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

"Do you think she will forgive me?"

"I don't know. That's up to her."

"Ok, I'll try," she sighed and said, "Sometimes I think it's easier for me to hurt people than to love them."

"I know."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because now I have love."

Quinn leaned toward him. He didn't move away. Instead he stayed still as she grew closer, opening her arms, rebuilding a bridge that was almost burned. She extended herself, as damaged as she was, and Sam knew that she needed reciprocity for the action, but it was her journey, not his, so he let her make all the moves as she slowly embraced him. If she wanted him back in her life, she would have to do the work, not him. He returned the hug – his arms wrapped around her, and he felt her breaking. The embrace was like greeting an old relative he had not seen in a long time; it was both familiar and distant. He could see the blonde hair beneath the horrid pink, and smell a hint of her lavender talcum powder mingling with the cigarette smoke.

Once when Quinn let him get to second base, she opened her blouse as she sat on the edge of her windowsill, the sunlight shining on her blonde hair. Her bra wasn't sexy, just plain white with a yellow flower in the middle, and he saw a faint white smudge on her left breast. He tried to touch her, but she caught his hand. He asked her about the smudge and she said it was talcum powder, then she got flustered and closed her blouse, a teasing smile on her lips and he loved her just a little in that moment. Quinn was there somewhere, but Sam could never hold her as he once did, he gently patted her back as he pulled away from her.

"It's going to take a while isn't it?" she said.

Sam nodded. Quinn touched his cheek.

"Friends?"

"That's all I have to give."

"I don't want anything else," she said as she stood up, "I have to go. My mother wants us to bond at the spa. Seaweed wraps and steam facials are her answer to dysfunction."

"Quinn, do you have to leave now?"

She hesitated for a moment then responded:

"Well, I guess I have a few minutes, why?"

"I want to sing something for you, if you don't mind."

She looked uncertain but sat back down.

"Ok."

Sam picked up his guitar and began singing:

_Ballerina girl, you are so lovely_

_With you standing there_

_I'm so aware of how much I care for you_

_You are more than now_

_You are for always_

_I can see in you_

_My dreams come true_

_Don't you ever go away…_

Quinn sat there crying as Sam sang to her, the tears flowed down her cheeks, and her shoulders shook. She closed her eyes and swayed to the music, and Sam knew that she was remembering when her father sat in the front row at her dance recitals and her picture was in his wallet, and there were no forgotten lyrics, or crying babies or even broken hearts, there was just hope, love, and possibilities and Sam watched as Quinn mourned the past. The baristas looked over at them, taking in the scene of the pink haired girl coming undone. When he was finished, Sam handed her a napkin and she quickly wiped her face and stood up.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. It's what friends do."

She looked him in the eye.

"That's the first time I've felt something since I was underwater."

Sam didn't say anything. She blew him a kiss and he smiled as he pretended to catch it. And then she walked away, each step she took was graceful like a ballerina and Sam saw the little girl on stage taking a bow, searching the audience for her proud father. He watched her until she was completely out of sight. Another door had closed, but then another one had opened, and he hoped it was for the best.

* * *

**_COMING UP FOR AIR_**

It was late Sunday afternoon when Mercedes got a text from her parents. They said they were coming home the first week of September because more work needed to be done on one of the health clinics. She deleted the message and stared out the window of Finn's bedroom. She had been staying with his family for a week. Finn tried to make the room "girly" as he called it and put a pink quilt on the bed. Everyday he brought her a bouquet of wildflowers that she kept in a vase on the desk; then she took a flower from each bouquet and pressed it into an old, hardcover dictionary she found underneath the bed. Each night she would open the book and touch the flat petals, wanting to hold onto the good feeling as long as she could. The Hudson-Hummel house was a home, with noisy meal times, and creaky wooden floors reminding you that someone was always near. Mercedes just listened to footsteps the first night she was there, taking comfort in knowing that Finn slept in Burt's office right below her. Finn's parents were down the hall and Mercedes listened to their conversations, which usually revolved around mundane stuff like bills or the garage, but every night they said "I love you" and Mercedes wished she had been born into a family like this one.

Sam came every evening with his guitar and they sat on the back porch singing songs; he learned all of her favorite songs, even the ones she had forgotten. The three of them traded songs and kisses until the night turned to heavy darkness and Sam had to go home. Sometimes they went to the rose garden and touched one another, pressing bare skin against skin, fingers probed her wet center as she stroked their cocks, willing them to a powerful release, their hands squeezed her breasts, tweaking her sensitive nipples; they could never go too far because of the house rules – the same rules that kept Finn in another room.

Sam got the idea that every night at midnight, they would do a three-way call and then masturbate together, but that proved to be too dangerous, because it was hard to stay quiet with their dirty words in her ears as she lay naked beneath the covers touching herself, so that had to end.

Mercedes turned away from the window and opened up her suitcase to search for her comb, but instead she found her mother's journal and Amelia's pictures, buried underneath her clothes. She shut the suitcase and left the room, going downstairs to the laundry room where she found Carol, taking a load of sheets out of the dryer. Carol may not have been as beautiful as her mother, but there was a quiet beauty she possessed, that made Mercedes think of wild violets. She was dressed in cut off shorts and a faded orange t-shirt, her pale legs had varicose veins, and Mercedes saw a bit of cellulite on her thighs. Carol looked up and smiled as she closed the dryer door, her hazel eyes shined.

"Hi Mercedes, did you need something?"

Mercedes didn't respond. The way Carol said her name …

"Mercedes?"

She was thinking of the last time someone said her name like that; it was her kindergarten teacher. Mercedes had fallen and skinned her knee and her teacher asked her if she was ok and if she needed something, her voice warm and welcoming as hot chocolate in the wintertime. Nobody spoke like that in her house – all she knew was silence and a lonely independence that kept her in fairytale dreams of a different mother who baked cookies and tucked her in at night. Mercedes looked down at the detergent stained floor.

"My mother never says my name."

Carol stared at her and then came over to her where she stood at the bottom of the stairs, putting her arm around Mercedes she said:

"One day Finn came home from school and he said there was a girl he was in love with, and when I asked him who it was, he said it was Mercedes Jones, and he was so happy. He said your name like it was a song."

Mercedes laid her head on Carol's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her waist, and the two hugged each other.

"We love you, Mercedes."

They held each other tight. Mercedes heard the faint sounds of Kurt laughing upstairs. She felt as if she were acting a role in somebody else's life. Then Carol's voice broke through.

"It's ok, sweetie, you're here now."

Mercedes cried into her neck, her tears spilling onto her t-shirt. Carol only held her tighter, willing her to that spot where there was nothing but love.

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY_**

Later that week, Mercedes helped Sam make Finn's birthday cake; she sliced up strawberries while Sam mixed the batter, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He wore a green apron with the words "Sam Evans World's Greatest Chef" printed across the front. Finn bought it for him as a surprise. Mercedes thought it was corny, but she loved the sweetness behind the gift, so she held her tongue. With his hazel eyes shining, and shy, crooked smile; he gave Sam the apron, kissing him on the cheek. Sam had blushed and they admired it as he modeled it for them in the living room.

The kitchen was filled with pleasant aromas: homemade amaretto syrup was bubbling on the stove, potatoes were boiling, and Sam's secret barbecue sauce simmered on the back burner. Finn, Kurt and Blaine had gone shopping for the party. They decided to move up the date of the barbecue and have it on his birthday instead, since they would be leaving for Kentucky early the next morning.

"Sweetheart, be careful with that knife, it's sharp," Sam said as he began to pour the batter into a large, square baking dish.

"I am. Don't worry."

Sam stopped pouring the batter and gazed at her.

"I'm always going to worry about you."

Mercedes looked at him and smiled, she felt tears in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away as she dumped the strawberries into a glass bowl. After he put the cake in the oven, he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, Mercedes stopped slicing the fruit and relaxed against him.

"Thanks for coming over every night."

"I would've come regardless if you wanted me here or not. You know that, right?"

Mercedes laughed and turned around to face him, she kissed his lips.

"I know. I'm blessed to have you and Finn."

"And we're blessed to have you, don't forget that." Sam pressed his forehead against hers, "Whenever you're ready, you can talk to us."

"Sam I –"

"No, Cedes, just listen, you're the strongest person I know, so, I'm thinking this is something major, but I get that it takes time to talk about stuff; I really do. So what I'm saying is that we're here, we love you, and whatever it takes, we're going to get through it."

Mercedes hugged him close.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Just then Finn and Kurt came into the kitchen, loaded down with bags.

"Hey, you guys need any help?" Sam asked.

"No, we're good," Finn said as he dropped his bags on the table. He walked over to them and wrapped his arms around them, giving them each a kiss on the lips.

"You three should really get a room!" Kurt said as he dropped his bags and plopped down in a chair, "I mean seriously - I've never seen people as affectionate as you guys."

Mercedes stuck out her tongue.

"You're just jealous."

Kurt snorted.

"Who's jealous? Anyway, I'll have you know that Blaine and I are very –"

At that moment, Blaine came into the kitchen carrying a large white box from Carvel's Bakery.

"Blaine and I are very what?" he asked as bent down and kissed Kurt's cheek, "I don't like having our business in the street."

Kurt blushed. "Never mind, I was just giving the awesome threesome a hard time."

Blaine raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Ok, whatever you say. Where do you guys want me to put this?"

Mercedes pulled away from Sam and Finn, much to their dismay, and walked over to the fridge and took out several bottles of water for everyone.

"Why do we need another cake? We made Finn's favorite."

Finn glanced at Blaine and gave a little shake of his head, while Sam suddenly became interested in a loose thread on his apron. Finally, Kurt spoke up.

"Oh, you know how greedy Finn is. He just had to have an ice cream cake too. Blaine, you can put it in the freezer downstairs. There's no room in this one."

Blaine went downstairs, and Mercedes knew something was up, but she decided to let it go. Whatever it was she would find out soon enough. She opened her water and took a long drink. Sam and Finn had trapped her between them again, and she relished in the warm embrace.

"Well, we can never have too much cake. Besides I love ice cream cake from Carvel's. And Kurt's right, you are greedy Finn," Mercedes said and poked his belly.

Finn laughed.

"Whatever. Come on guys, we got a lot of work to do before everyone gets here."

Sam kissed Mercedes' cheek.

"We still need to make the amaretto cream, and I have to fire up the grill."

Soon the kitchen was in chaos with everyone bumping into one another trying to get everything prepared, but there was a lot of laughter and good-natured teasing and Mercedes didn't know the last time she ever felt so happy. She was eager for the party to begin. They needed to celebrate life.

**XXX**

Dylan was the first guest to arrive. He stood on the front porch holding a bottle of sparkling grape juice. His gold nose ring shined in the sunlight. He wore wrinkled khaki pants, a long sleeved blue shirt, and faded red sneakers. He wasn't smiling, but his eyes were warm as he looked at her.

"Hi, I'm Dylan. You're Mercedes, right?"

"Yes, come on in and thank you for the juice. You didn't have to bring anything," she said as she took bottle from him, "It's so good to finally meet you."

Dylan smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled up a bit.

"Oh, it was nothing."

Mercedes hugged him. She smelled his cologne and it reminded her of ocean waves.

"I'm glad you could make it on such short notice, since we changed the date and everything."

She felt his body tense up as she embraced him, but then he relaxed. She slowly pulled away.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just feel like I know you because Sam has told me so much about you."

Dylan patted her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. Sam told me a lot about you and Finn. So I understand, he paused, "Do you need any help with anything?"

"Actually, Sam could use help with the grill. He's in the back yard, just go straight through the kitchen, you'll see the sliding glass doors."

"Sure, thing."

As he was about to walk away, Finn came downstairs, all shower fresh and wearing a snug fitting black T-shirt and jeans. He smiled and gave Mercedes a quick peck on the cheek, but his smile faded when he saw Dylan standing there holding out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Dylan. You must be Finn."

Finn gave him a cold stare as he shook his hand.

"Sam mentioned you were coming. Glad you could make it."

Finn held Dylan's hand in a tight grip, making the other boy wince. Mercedes cleared her throat.

"Um, Dylan was just about to go help Sam."

Finn let go of his hand.

"Hope you enjoy yourself."

Dylan forced a smile, and then he went into the kitchen. Mercedes turned to Finn, poking her finger into his chest.

"Ok, what was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"Why were you acting all rude toward him?"

"I wasn't rude. What's wrong with you?"

"Finn, you're always polite and - "

"And I wasn't polite now?"

"Not really."

He hugged her and nuzzled her neck. "I love it when you wear purple. You look gorgeous."

Mercedes moaned as he nibbled her neck, but she was still miffed.

"Don't change the subject. No matter how hot you're making me now, I don't like how you were acting. He seems nice and Sam really likes him."

Finn didn't respond, instead he continued to kiss her neck as his hands roamed over her ass, gently squeezing each cheek.

"Oh, Mercy, Mercy, me…" Finn sang the old Marvin Gaye song in her ear, causing her to smile. Finn was doing everything in his power to distract her from their argument. His big hands were everywhere.

"Finn, baby, maybe we should stop, I don't want to start something we can't finish."

He licked her earlobe.

"Who says we can't finish?"

Just then the doorbell rang.

"Damn it!" Finn said, "Do we have to answer that?"

Mercedes laughed as she untangled herself from his arms.

"Of course we do."

Finn rolled his eyes. When she opened the door, they found Santana standing on the porch, holding her 2-year old niece Maria, while Brittany carried two large blue gift bags with sparkling unicorns on the front. Mercedes was relieved that Brittany and Santana dressed rather modestly in vintage white sundresses with red ribbon sashes; their hair flowed down their backs in soft waves. Santana's face was flushed and Brittany was smiling as if she had a secret. Normally, she wouldn't have cared one way or the other about their clothes, but since Burt and Carol would be there, she had hoped they would tone it down a little. Maria looked adorable in her pink Disney princess t-shirt and skirt to match, a silver plastic tiara with red rhinestones sat atop her brown, curly head.

"Sorry, but I had to bring Maria; my brother had to work a double shift, Santana said as she handed her to Finn.

"Finny!" Maria said opening her arms.

Finn smiled and hugged her, "Hi there, sweetie, it's good to see you!"

Mercedes kissed Maria's cheek.

"Well, isn't that a pretty tiara? Which princess are you supposed to be?"

Maria thought for a moment, her blue eyes solemn, then she said: "All of them."

Everyone laughed and then Mercedes pointed to the gift bags.

"Wow, you guys got all this stuff for Finn?"

"Well actually it's for –" Brittany began.

"Actually, we love his gigantic ass for some reason, so we went overboard" Santana said, glaring at Brittany, "Come on Britt, let's go put these on the gift table," she then turned to Mercedes, "where is it, Jones?"

"In the back yard. Finn will show you."

Finn lead the way, still holding Maria, with Brittany and Santana trailing behind him.

Mercedes watched Finn as he tickled Maria's chin, making her giggle. She thought of how he and Sam would be wonderful fathers to their children as she glanced at herself in the hall mirror, smoothing down her dress and patting her wavy Afro. Her eyes shined, her cheeks were slightly rosy, and she couldn't stop smiling. Kurt helped her pick out her dress from the clearance rack at Elder-Beerman's; it was sleeveless with a sweetheart neckline and came just above the knee. Humming "Natural Woman" she put on some more lip-gloss. Suddenly, she felt strong hands grip her ample hips and a deep voice whispered:

"Better not get too pretty, darlin' or this party will never start."

She turned around and pulled him close.

"Sam, you're just going to have to control yourself."

He kissed her urgently, his tongue delving deep into her mouth, and when she broke the kiss, she was panting.

"Now I have to take a cold shower."

"That makes the two of us."

"No, the three of us," and they looked over and saw Finn walking toward them, he wrapped his arms around them and soon the three were kissing and caressing each other in the hallway. Finn opened the closet door and pulled them in. It was big enough for them to fit but just barely; Finn switched on the light.

"Hey, remember that game Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

"Yeah," Mercedes said, trying to keep her voice steady as their hands reached beneath her dress, gently stroking her thighs.

"Well, let's play it now, I've been wanting time alone with you two all day. You looking all sexy in your dress and Sam rubbing against me in the kitchen…"

Sam leaned over and kissed them.

"I'm all for it."

Mercedes could only nod. They pressed her against the wall and unzipped her dress. As if reading her mind, Finn said:

"Don't worry, we won't ruin your dress."

She laughed because they had torn many of her dresses with their eager hands; the sound of ripping fabric became her aphrodisiac. Sam set the timer on his watch and was about to take off his apron, but Finn stopped him.

"No, leave it on but take everything else off."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

Sam obliged and then he and Mercedes yanked off Finn's shirt tossing it on the floor. His midsection was a little plumper and Mercedes thought it was cute; Sam's cooking was doing him in.

"I only have one rule," Mercedes said.

"What's that?" Finn asked.

"None of us can be completely naked."

"Ok, but I have another rule," Sam said.

Mercedes stroked his cheek.

"What is it?"

"Only me and Finn can do all the touching."

"Babe, I like how you think," Finn said.

Mercedes nodded.

"Fair enough. If that's how you want to play, but we have to be careful, you know, Burt and Carol –"

"We'll be fine," Finn said and kissed her.

The next seven minutes were filled with a chorus of moans and intense making out and dry humping. Sam's kisses tasted like sweet amaretto syrup while Finn's tasted like orange Starburst. They nibbled and licked her neck, then delved their tongues into her mouth. But then there were the touches: their hands stroking her bare flesh, squeezing her thighs, traveling toward her treasure but never quite making it there. Sometimes they smacked her ass, and the awesome sting was almost too much to bear, she breathed hard, biting her lip to maintain control. Oh, they were having fun with her. Mercedes was sandwiched between them, completely at their mercy, and together they rubbed against her: Sam slipped his cock between her panty clad ass cheeks while Finn's erection pressed against her front, teasing her through his boxers. It was an odd sensation being partially clothed but still getting off.

"How do your nipples feel, Sam?" Finn asked as he thrust against Mercedes.

"Shit, so fucking good – rubbing against – " Sam couldn't finish what he was trying to say.

"Yeah, I know, that's why I wanted you to keep it on," Finn then whispered in Mercedes' ear, "We want you to cum for us really hard angel, can you do that? Soak our hands with all that sweet juice? You're so wet, right now," he reached inside her panties and let his finger glide along her wet core, but never penetrating her, just that gentle teasing that always set her on edge; her pussy muscles clenched, he pulled out one of breasts, sucking on it.

Mercedes moaned as the sensations took over her body. Then Sam said:

"I'm gonna touch your clit, baby, but you can't scream."

Instead of screaming, Mercedes bit down on Finn's shoulder, and yanked on Sam's hair as he fell forward against her. They all came as quietly as they could, with muffled whimpers and cries. The timer beeped.

For a moment they just held each other, breathing hard. After exchanging a few more heated kisses, they quickly dressed and slipped out of the closet.

**XXX**

When Mercedes walked out to the backyard carrying a fruit platter, she didn't expect to see a banner hanging between the two oak trees that said: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERCEDES AND FINN!"

She almost dropped the platter, but Blaine snatched it from her just in time.

"Surprise!" Brittany said, waving her hands and jumping up and down, and soon the others followed suit.

"Surprise, Surprise!"

Everyone was hugging her at once. Mercedes sat down in a lawn chair to regain her composure; Finn and Sam rushed to her side.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked as Finn squeezed her hand.

"I'm fine. It's just that I'm confused because today isn't my birthday – it's Finn's."

Finn kissed her cheek.

"We know and because of what happened on your real birthday; I decided to share mine with you."

Mercedes held his face in her hands.

"Finn, I don't know what to –"

"You know how my mom keeps everything?"

She nodded as the tears spilled from her eyes.

"Well, I found some of my old birthday cards and one year my grandma sent me a card that said: 'I thank God for the day your light was brought into this world' I remember when I got the card I kept thinking there was a light bulb in my stomach."

Mercedes and Sam laughed, kissing him on the cheek. Finn gave a sheepish grin.

"Ok, so I was a dopey kid. Anyway, I'm not so good with poetry or words," he stopped for a moment and held her hand to his heart, "I want to celebrate your light. Because no matter what you do - you're always shining. You made me believe in myself and I don't know what I would do without you, Mercedes, I love you with all that I am. I want this day to be yours as much as mine." He leaned over, giving her a sweet kiss, amidst all of the cheering that came from the guests.

Sam hugged her close.

"And next year, you can share mine. Finn and I talked about it and we both agree that without you, we have no idea where we would be right now. You know it's so crazy. At first I'm asking you to dance, and then I'm asking for your heart and I'm so grateful you gave it to me, to us. You showed me –" Sam fought back his tears, he breathed deep then said, "You showed me what love is and what it means to just accept another person. I was so broken and you still saw something in me, something worth loving. I love you so much, Cedes, so take our birthdays and celebrate all that you are and will be."

By now all three of them were crying and Mercedes could careless that she had what Santana called the "ugly cry" where the tears gushed and your nose ran without warning. She held Sam and Finn, close to her heart, their tears mixed with her own. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't speak, what they just professed overwhelmed her. These boys, lovers, friends were her everything, her life, her breath. She needed nothing else.

"I love you both so much. Thank you."

They cried and hugged until Santana had had enough.

"I hate to break up this Lifetime movie moment, but the food smells good and we all know that Sam can throw down in the kitchen, so can we please get this party started and eat?"

"Eat, eat!" Maria said clapping her hands and laughing.

"You tell'em girl," Santana said as she picked her up and blew raspberry kisses on her chubby cheeks.

Burt put his arm around Carol.

"I think she has the right idea. I'm rather starved myself."

Finn laughed.

"Ok, everybody, we can eat."

The tables were covered with purple tablecloths. Sam had outdone himself once again with the southern feast he prepared.

A silver platter heaped with tender barbeque ribs and chicken, drizzled with his tangy, homemade sauce sat in the center of the table. And the side dishes were just as mouth watering: warm cornbread with honey butter cut into squares and stacked on a big plate; macaroni and cheese made with cheddar and provolone lightly browned on top, a pot of collard greens cooked in chicken broth; a big bowl of potato salad sprinkled with paprika; roasted corn on the cob wrapped in foil; and fresh garden salad made with sweet cherry tomatoes, cucumbers and crisp romaine lettuce tossed with his homemade red vinaigrette dressing.

He also made a special French onion soup with melted Brie cheese, and a pot of coq au vin for Kurt since his tastes were a little different.

When they were seated, Sam instructed everyone to hold hands and as he was about to say grace, Finn stopped him.

"Do you mind if I say it?"

"No, not at all."

Finn took a deep breath.

"Thank you God for this awesome day and the food we are about to eat. Amen."

After he said grace, Mercedes never felt so joyful in her life: she kissed both Sam and Finn and held their hands. Finn looked at her and smiled

"That pretty much sums up how I feel too"

"Me too," Carol said, "We have a lot to be thankful for."

The dinner was noisy and fun, with a lot of teasing and laughter. Everyone praised the food as they ate. Mercedes still couldn't believe all they had done for her.

"I can't thank you guys enough. I love you so much."

"We love you too," Sam said, kissing her forehead.

Finn kissed her lips.

"Happy Birthday, Miss Jones."

Burt tapped his fork against his glass of iced tea to get everyone's attention.

"Hey, since we're all feeling grateful and lovey-dovey right now. Why don't we go around the table and say what we are thankful for."

Kurt rolled his eyes as he took a sip of water.

"Dad, do we have to? This isn't Plymouth Rock."

"Look, mister, you don't need a holiday to be thankful."

Blaine held Kurt's hand.

"Ok, I'll go first. I'm thankful for my health and most of my family, and for Kurt."

Kurt blushed and kissed him. Brittany went next, her face flushed with excitement.

"Oh, this is fun! It feels like Valentine's Day and Thanksgiving except there isn't a turkey and I'm not wearing my cupid panties. Anyway, I'm thankful for rainbows, Santana, and those glitter stickers you get out of those machines at the supermarket."

"That's so sweet," Mercedes said.

Santana gave Brittany a peck on the cheek, whispering something in her ear. Maria, who sat on her lap, watched the girls closely, and then she slapped her little hands against the table and said:

"I say thanks too!"

"Alright, Miss Thing, what are you grateful for?" Santana asked as she fixed the plastic tiara on Maria's head.

"Mommy, Daddy, and you!"

Santana's eyes shined with tears as she hugged her niece. Dylan, who sat next to Brittany, finally spoke:

"I'm just grateful to be alive."

"Why?" Brittany asked.

Dylan cocked his head to the side.

"Why what?"

"Why are you grateful to be alive?"

Santana squeezed Brittany's arm.

"Uh, Brittany –"

"It's nothing bad, San, it's just that usually people say that when they almost die," she turned to Dylan, "So did you almost die?"

Her eyes were filled with childish wonder as she waited for a response; it was the same expression she wore when she spoke of Santa Claus and leprechauns. She smiled at him, twisting her wavy hair around her fingers, and licking her lips the way she always did when she was excited. It was almost as if she wasn't asking him about a near-death experience, but instead about his latest trip to the world of unicorns that lived inside her pretty blonde head. Mercedes loved Brittany to pieces, but sometimes she wished that she wasn't so intellectually challenged. Dylan stared down at his plate, then he looked up and their eyes met. Mercedes felt the pain in his expression; she held his gaze and said:

"You don't have to almost die to be grateful to be alive. I like what he said."

"Preach!" Sam said, imitating Artie.

Everyone laughed and the tiny black cloud that almost came was suddenly gone. Dylan nodded at Mercedes and mouthed the words "Thank you" and she only winked and returned to her collard greens, once again enjoying the meal.

Maria struggled on Santana's lap.

"I'm done. I want to sit with Dylan."

"Sweetie, just stay still and let me finish eating."

"It's ok," he said smiling at them, "She can sit with me if she wants."

"I officially like you, Dylan, now I can actually eat without certain little hands getting in the way." She wiped Maria's face with a napkin, "Go on now, boo, aunty needs a break."

Maria hopped off Santana's lap and wiggled herself between Dylan and Brittany. She touched the tattoo on his hand.

"Spider."

"Yep, that's a spider."

"I want one too."

"Do you like spiders?"

"She likes keeping them in a jar," Santana said as she tore into her ribs.

"That's gross," Finn said.

Mercedes laughed.

"Finn's scared of spiders."

"I am not."

"Dude, you scream every time you see one," Sam said, "Hey, remember that time when we were on a hike and –"

Finn cut him off before he could go any further down memory lane.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember the time. So I have a fear."

"Finny's always been scared of spiders," Carol said as she poured herself a glass of water, "I think it was Charlotte's Web that did him in."

"Mom, please just don't –"

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, dear."

Mercedes kissed him on the cheek.

"We love you anyway, baby, arachnophobia and all."

"I second that," Sam said and kissed him as well, then he changed the subject, "Since we got off track, I just want to say I'm thankful for Mercedes and Finn, of course, and my family, and that Stacey is still with us and might be coming home soon."

"I was so happy to hear how Stacey made a recovery," Burt said, "I know your family is grateful."

"Thank you, Mr. Hummel, we really are happy she pulled through."

Suddenly, Kurt stood up, clapping his hands.

"May I have your attention please?"

Everyone stopped talking and looked at him. Kurt held a hand to his heart and said:

"I must say that that was the best French onion soup and coq au vin I have ever tasted. Sam, you're a genius, I bow to your culinary talents."

Sam smiled, his cheeks turning pink. "Thanks, Kurt."

"Oh, for crying out loud, that was your big announcement?" Santana said.

"Yay, Sam! Maria said throwing up her hands as if he had scored a touchdown.

Kurt pointed his finger at Santana.

"Look, Miss Razor Blades In My Weave, you don't have to –"

Carol thumped the table.

"Settle down, kids, there will be none of that," she turned to Burt and whispered, "Razor blades, where?"

"Beats me," Burt said, "I hope it's not where I think it is."

Mercedes laughed at the exchange. Everyone at the table filled a hole in her heart. She sighed and put her arms around Sam and Finn, hugging them close. She then noticed Finn staring at Dylan. He was helping Maria put her tiara back on. She nudged his shoulder.

"You, ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good," he said.

"Did you want some more sweet tea?"

"Huh?"

She pointed to his glass.

"Sweet tea. Your glass is empty."

"Oh, sure, Mercy. That would be great," he responded and patted her hand, but his eyes stayed fixed on Dylan.

Mercedes wondered if she had anything to be worried about.

* * *

**END NOTES**

Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**_CHAPTER 13_**

**_SUMMARY: _**Finn gets a visit from an unwelcome relative and deals with his feelings about Dylan. Sam and Mercedes give him a very special birthday gift.

**RATING**: Mature. Strong sexual content (in the final portion of the chapter – My Old Kentucky Home) Strong language. Violence (fight scene).

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** **THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND PRIVATE MESSAGES!**

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY PART 2 – SAM'S NEW BEST FRIEND_**

Finn and Dylan sat next to each other on the deck, watching everyone else relax in the yard. The air smelled faintly of barbecue smoke and roses. Santana and Brittany were lying together in a hammock, swinging slowly from side to side, stealing little kisses every now and then. Mercedes and Sam blew bubbles with Maria while singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider," their voices soft and sweet. Maria reached for the bubbles as they floated above her head, squealing with delight when they popped in her hands. Finn smiled at the scene before him; he knew he was glimpsing into the future when they had children of their own. Dylan leaned back in the recliner. He stretched his arms and yawned.

"Excuse, me," he said, "I was up late."

Finn stared at him and noticed the three gold studs in his right ear.

"Out at the club?"

Dylan smiled.

"No."

"So where are you from?"

"Everywhere. We moved a lot."

"Oh."

"What about you? Are you from Lima?"

Finn fidgeted in his chair.

"Something like that. I was born in Columbus."

"Close enough."

"Not really."

Dylan closed his eyes.

"Lima isn't bad. It's just, you know…" his voice trailed off, then he said, "It's like everyone is wearing the same pair of glasses."

"I don't wear glasses."

"Dude, you're funny. What I meant was -"

"It doesn't matter," Finn said looking out into the yard. Why couldn't people just say what they meant? It would make life so much easier.

Dylan sat up a little and turned to face him.

"Hey, man, I didn't mean –"

"So you and Sam are good friends, huh?"

"Sam and I are cool. "

Finn wasn't sure what to say next. Dylan pointed toward the woods.

"Those trees remind me of a house we used to live in."

"The backyard was like this?"

Dylan shook his head.

"No, we lived in a tree house," he gazed up at the sky and said, "I heard it's supposed to storm tonight."

"Wait, why were you living in a tree house? "

"Hippie parents and home schooling – that's all I can say."

Finn decided not to pry, so he said:

"Sam's little sister Stacey likes to climb trees."

"Yeah, I know. I'm so glad she pulled through"

"He told you she was sick? When did he do that?"

"Dude, I don't remember. It's been awhile. Why?"

"Just asking, no reason really."

Dylan raised his eyebrows.

"Um, ok."

"I'm a quarterback," Finn said flexing his muscles and sucking in his gut, "Do you play sports?"

"No, not my thing."

Finn wasn't surprised. Dylan looked like the kind of guy he would torment during his bullying days.

"Well, what is your _thing_?"

Dylan stood up.

"I'm going to get a bottled water. You want anything?"

"No, thanks."

He glanced at Dylan as he bent over the cooler to get his water. Finn imagined that Dylan had a swimmer's body: long, sleek, and muscular. He touched his stomach, his fingers sinking into the pudgy flesh. He wished he had worn something less form fitting, but Mercedes and Sam loved him in that black T-shirt. They said he looked sexy in it.

The last time he wore it was on a hot summer evening, and the trio decided to have a water balloon fight in Mercedes' back yard. After they were finished hurling the balloons at each other, they stood in the middle of the yard, drenched and panting. Finn stared at Mercedes' erect nipples pressing against her soaking wet tank top. Without hesitation, she took off her top, revealing her bare chest. Then she and Sam reached out to him, and slowly peeled off his shirt, as they planted kisses on his skin and unzipped his cargo shorts.

Soon their naked bodies twisted together, pushing, pulling, wanting… hands everywhere, tongues on skin… That evening brought many pleasure filled screams as they thrust themselves into Mercedes' wet heat. Her fingernails dug into their damp flesh, as they fell deeper and deeper into multiple orgasms, leaving Finn gasping for breath each time he came. As they lay together afterwards, Finn held his two loves, savoring the taste of Sam's cum and Mercedes' essence mixed with his own, a salty sweet flavor that lingered on his tongue. They stroked and caressed each other in the afterglow, smooth, bare flesh shining in the moonlight – nothing hidden, everything exposed. That's how it was with them, and he felt confident and loved, but now his old wounds were resurfacing.

Finn folded his arms, attempting to hide his bulging belly. Dylan returned to the recliner and stretched out once again, drinking his water, and sighing in contentment. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and Finn saw the track marks on his pale arms, he tried not to stare, but it was hard to look away. The purple scars looked like long, puffy cords rising up on his skin. He thought about his Uncle Dan huddled in a corner with those marks on his arms, a flashlight shining on his hollow face. Finn's chest tightened. Dylan's voice broke into his thoughts.

"I used to hate sunny days."

Finn stayed silent, avoiding his dark eyes. Dylan kept talking as if the conversation flowed easily between them.

"I don't tan. I burn. Then I realized I was fine just like this."

Dylan's gaze fell to where Finn had wrapped his arms protectively over his mid-section. The silence settled between them like a stone wall. Finally, Finn said:

"How long are you staying in Lima?"

"Beats me. I'm here for now. I'm not sure about anything else."

"I'm sure Lima will get too small for you."

"Maybe."

"Columbus is nice. More people. Lots of stuff to do."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Finn glanced at the scars again. Dylan was humming softly, when he stopped suddenly and said, "You want to know why I did this to myself, don't you?"

"It's none of my business."

"But you want to know, don't you?"

Finn paused for a second. "Yeah."

"I've got too many reasons to name, and none of them are good enough. So all I can say is that I made an awful mistake."

"That's convenient."

Dylan sighed.

"Nothing is convenient about it," he took a drink of water and said, "Thanks for letting me come to your party. You know that was an awesome thing you did for Mercedes."

"You're welcome."

"Seeing the three of you together is really –"

Finn interrupted him.

"What about the three of us? You think it's weird?"

"Dude, I was just going to say that it was nice seeing you together, that's all."

"Oh, ok."

Nothing else was said. Finn watched Sam pick up Maria and twirl her around, sending her into a fit of hysterical giggles, as his long blonde hair floated in the breeze. Mercedes sat on the grass and laughed. Sam bent down and kissed her. Maria was ready for another sing-along.

"More Itsy Bitsy!"

Sam sat her on the ground, and Mercedes tickled her belly.

"I think I want to sing a different song, ok?"

Maria laughed and nodded.

"Ok!"

Mercedes began to sing, her voice clear and bright as crystal, echoing throughout the yard.

_People get ready, there's a train a comin' _

_You don't need no baggage, you just get on board _

_All you need is faith to hear the diesels hummin' _

_Don't need no ticket, you just thank the Lord_

Maria was transfixed, her little mouth formed an "O" and her eyes were full of awe. This was Mercedes' joy so rare and pure – you could hear that joy in each note. Her eyes were closed, and she smiled as she sang, her hands clasped in front of her. Sam sat next to her, and a tear ran down his cheek. Maria patted his hand as if to console him, and he grinned down at her, pulling her onto his lap.

Brittany and Santana rose from the hammock, their arms wrapped around each other, and walked over to where Mercedes sang, getting closer to that voice. The sliding glass doors opened and Burt and Carol stepped out onto the deck holding hands. Kurt and Blaine reappeared from wherever they vanished to, and leaned against the oak tree, staring at Mercedes. Everyone was drawn to her light.

As she sang the last note, she choked up a bit, and her voice wavered, Sam grabbed her hand, willing her to go on and she did, reaching that raw spot in your soul where you hold nothing back. Finn imagined a box opening up, with all of his hopes and dreams tumbling out like a million stones, some whole, some broken, but all of them made him who he was.

Then it was silent. Finn wasn't sure if he should clap or say amen - neither option seemed to fit.

It was Burt who spoke first.

"Damn, Miss Lady!"

Everyone laughed and cheered. Finn could see that Mercedes was a little overwhelmed, but she smiled as Sam and Maria hugged her along with Brittany and Santana. He wanted to hug her himself, but he couldn't move - he could only feel, and what he felt he couldn't describe. It was like an invisible force anchored him to his chair, seizing his body. He heard a loud pounding noise that resembled a heartbeat. He thought he was having one of those weird out of body experiences. He turned to Dylan.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It sounds like loud drums."

"Are you ok? You look sick."

"I – I don't know."

He heard it again. He scanned the yard and saw Maria laughing in Brittany's arms. Kurt had his arm around Mercedes, while Blaine held her hand, swinging their arms to and fro. Santana linked her arm through Sam's as she played with his hair. Everything looked ordinary on the surface. Maybe he imagined it.

"Finn?"

Finn shut his eyes, and the feeling subsided. He opened his eyes and said:

"Her voice… it does things."

Dylan nodded.

"It makes you honest. You could never bullshit with a voice like that. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Church bells and angels."

"Huh?"

"That's what her voice reminds me of."

"Maybe you should go inside and lie down for a while."

"I'm ok," Finn said, as he gripped the arm of his chair, then he added,"I've known Mercy since kindergarten."

"Mercy?"

"That's what _I_ call Mercedes, but nobody else does."

Dylan reached out and touched Finn's shoulder.

"Breathe."

Finn took a few more breaths, and Dylan's hand quickly disappeared.

Mercedes and Sam joined them on the deck. Finn slowly stood up, trying to fight off the light-headed feeling, and pulled them both into a tight embrace.

"That was so amazing," Finn said as he kissed them, his body trembling.

"Finn, honey, you're shaking," Mercedes said looking up at him.

"I'm fine," he said reassuring her with another kiss, "I just –"

Sam held his hand.

"Babe, sit down."

Finn didn't protest. He sat down again.

"Maybe you should go inside, "Sam said, as he kneeled before him, "You look sick."

"I'm ok, really I am."

"I'm keeping my eye on you anyway."

"Me too," Mercedes said, hugging him close.

Finn was grateful that Burt and Carol had missed the entire incident. They were in the yard laughing and talking with the others.

After Sam and Mercedes sat down next to Finn, Dylan leaned forward and said:

"Your voice made me feel stuff I thought I couldn't feel anymore. I remembered the good things."

Mercedes smiled at him, her eyes bright.

"Thank you."

Sam put his arm around her.

"I told you she was special."

Finn squeezed her hand. She laid her head on his shoulder. Her soft hair tickled his cheek - he loved how it felt against his skin. He smelled her peppermint shampoo, and a flash of an impromptu quickie in the shower with Mercedes pressed against the tiled wall, and Sam's lips sucking on his neck came to mind. As far as he was concerned, the Kentucky weekend couldn't come fast enough.

"Are you guys ok with us leaving at 6:00 tomorrow morning?" Finn asked.

"No problem for me, is that when Kurt and Blaine want to leave?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, Blaine doesn't want us to get stuck in any traffic."

"6:00 is fine, but remind me to set my alarm, you know how I oversleep." Mercedes said.

"Well, I could always sneak into your room and wake you up," Finn said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Mercedes laughed. "Knock it off Finn; you know your parents are right down the hall."

"Hey, I can dream, can't I?"

"What's in Kentucky?" Dylan asked.

"Blaine's family has a summer house there, and he invited us to stay there for a long weekend," Sam said, "Hey, maybe you can come with us, I'm sure he won't mind, we could ask him and –"

"Won't that make things crowded?" Finn said, "I mean, with his brother and his wife being there too, he may not have room."

Dylan glanced at him.

"It's cool. I have plans this weekend anyway. Thanks anyway, Sam."

"No problem. Did you finish the next chapter of your story? I'm dying to read it."

"I have writer's block."

"Then we should bounce off ideas with each other like we did last time."

"What's the story about?" Mercedes asked as she gently rubbed Finn's arm.

Sam's green eyes lit up, and he grinned like a kid in an amusement park.

"It takes place 100 years in the future, and the earth has 6 moons and there's this war between the Northern and Southern hemispheres!"

"I didn't know you were writing a story with Dylan," Finn said, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

"Well, I'm not really writing it. I just listen to his ideas and give him opinions. He's an awesome writer."

Dylan shrugged.

"I wouldn't say awesome, but I'm getting better. Anyway, Sam really gets science fiction. He knows his stuff."

"I think it's great that you're a writer. I want to read it when you're done." Mercedes said.

"You're in it, Cedes," Sam said.

"What?" Finn said. His mouth set in a firm line.

"Ok, so there isn't a character named Mercedes but… well you explain it, Dylan. "

"When I asked Sam to describe the most beautiful girl he knew, he started talking about you, so I used some of those traits for Queen Jade, but it's a combination of a bunch of people," Dylan said, "My ex-girlfriend is in there too."

"Did you really describe me?" Mercedes asked.

"Of course."

She leaned over and kissed him.

"Thank you."

"And he's helping me do research to create a new world language," Dylan said, "it's really gonna be great," he turned to Sam, "Shukran jazilan."

"Afwan," Sam said and they did a fist bump.

"Ok, that wasn't Na'vi, what was it?" Finn asked.

"That was the new language I'm creating. I just thanked Sam for his help."

Mercedes shook her head and smiled.

"The official meeting of the geeks!"

"You know you love it, baby," Sam said doing his Austin Powers impression as he nuzzled her neck.

Finn laughed but there was something hollow in his heart. Sam and Dylan began chatting about the story again and Finn tuned them out. He caught bits of the conversation, something about poisonous gas and a crystal spaceship. Mercedes asked questions about Queen Jade. After a while, he stood up and Sam grabbed his hand.

"Where are you going? Are you feeling sick again?"

"No, I'm just getting some lemonade. I'll be back."

Sam kissed his hand before letting it fall, and turned his attention back to Dylan.

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY PART 3 – THE GREEN EYED MONSTER_**

Finn leaned against the fridge and closed his eyes, and all he could see was Dylan leaning toward Sam and Mercedes, how comfortable the three of them seemed…

"Why are you hiding in the kitchen?"

He opened his eyes to find Sam standing before him.

"Oh, I just needed a break." Finn said, staring into his glass of lemonade. Sam took the glass and drank from it. Finn stared at his plump lips as they connected the edge of the glass. As usual, Sam was oblivious to his sexual beauty, he drank until he was content, and when he was finished, the glass was half empty. Sam let out a belch, causing Finn to laugh.

"Was it good, Evans?"

Sam winked at him.

"Very good."

He pulled Finn toward him and they kissed: it was slow and sweet and Finn moaned, holding him close. After a few minutes, they pulled away from each other. Sam touched his cheek.

"I know you better than you think. Tell me what's wrong."

Finn turned away from him and sat down at the kitchen table. He picked up a box of toothpicks and emptied them onto the table, counting the tiny wooden sticks.

"Finn? Come on, tell me."

Finn sighed and looked up at his boyfriend.

"Why do you like Dylan so much?"

Sam shrugged. "Cause he's a good guy. You don't like him?"

"Did he always look like that?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. You never said he was attractive."

"He's ok, I guess. You think he's good looking?"

"Well, not like GQ or anything, but he's easy on the eyes."

Sam joined him at the table.

"I only see you and Cedes. Nobody else can compare."

"He almost touched her."

"So?"

"So, what if he likes her? What if he likes you?"

"Ok, how did he almost touch her?"

"They were laughing about something, and he reached out for her shoulder."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Maybe to you it doesn't."

"First off, Dylan is straight, so liking me isn't an option, and secondly, Cedes loves us, all three of us were just bawling our eyes out cause we love each other so much. Why are you doing this?"

"We were straight once too."

"Finn look –"

"Sometimes you'll be talking about him like he's this awesome guy and at first I was cool with it because we never met, and no offense, but the way you described him, he sounded like one of those emo kids, and I really didn't think about it too much. Then I see him here, and he's weird but he fits in. You guys have your own language. You have a connection. Even Santana likes him.

"He's a drug addict."

"Sam, please, that's not even –"

"Don't tell me that doesn't bother you."

Finn hung his head.

"Ok, it bothers me."

"He's not Uncle Dan."

"I know. But he gets parts of you that I don't. All that sci-fi stuff - I can't keep up."

Sam put his arm around him.

"I'm sorry if you felt left out. Dylan and I are just friends, and yes he gets the sci-fi geek in me, but you get the true parts of me, stuff that nobody else sees."

"Like what?"

"Why do I have to rub you and Cedes' backs three times before I leave you, or when we're about to go to sleep?"

"To keep us safe."

"Ok, if I were to tell somebody like Artie or Mike that's what I did, they wouldn't understand. They would think I was crazy, but you and Cedes get me, and understand that's just how my heart works, so you go along with it."

"We love that you do that. It's not crazy. It's just who you are Sam."

"That's my point. You understand those parts of me, like why I still sometimes wear an extra pair of underwear and jeans because I used to layer myself when I was a kid, so my Dad's belt wouldn't hurt as much, even though the beatings stopped a long time ago."

"But the pain is still there."

"Exactly. You and Cedes see the pain and you love me anyway."

Sam kissed Finn on the lips.

"I love you, babe."

"I love you too."

"Dylan can't replace you or Cedes. He's my friend that's all. Just like you and Puck are friends."

"Yeah, but that's different."

"How?"

Finn wrapped a few locks of Sam's hair around his fingers.

"Puck and I don't have a connection like you and Dylan. I mean when the three of us hang out we talk trash and play video games. We're all on the same level. It's different with Dylan. Besides he's outside of our glee circle."

"It doesn't have to be different. We can have other friends. And Dylan loves video games. Just give him a chance."

"I will. I'm just not there yet. It's my issue and I'll work through it. I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous of your friendship with him, and I don't like that Mercy thinks he's so great."

Sam laughed.

"Our girl has a big heart. She loves everyone."

"I know but it's never been an attractive guy with a lean body and a tattoo."

"Finnegan Jacob Hudson, how many times do we have to tell you that your body is awesome? I thought we were past that."

Finn held up his hands.

"We are. I'm just having a setback that's all; he paused for a moment then continued, "There's something I want to know."

"What's that?"

"Why did you tell him about Stacy? You never talked about her to anyone except me and Mercy."

Sam sighed.

"Finn, what happened with Stacey almost broke me, you and Cedes kept me strong, but sometimes it was hard for me to keep it together at work, and Dylan was there and –

"You know you could have called me or -"

"I know that Finn. What I'm trying to say is, since he doesn't know my past, it was nice to have someone listen to me, as just Sam Evans, not Sam Evans, rape and child abuse survivor. Don't get me wrong, I love that you and Cedes know everything about me, and this relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to me, I just needed something on the outside."

"I think I understand. But Sam, we don't only see you like that. We also see Sam Evans, awesome boyfriend, lover, singer, cook, impressionist… you're more than your past, remember that, ok?"

They kissed again and held each other close. The sliding glass doors opened, and Mercedes walked into the kitchen, her face masked with worry. She nervously bit her lip.

"Is everything ok? You could've drunk half of Lake Michigan by now," she said smiling, but her eyes remained sad.

"Everything is fine and we're sorry we worried you. Come here," Finn said.

Mercedes walked over to them and sat on Finn's lap. They each kissed her and tried not to get too carried away.

"I know something is up, so just spill it now, or I'll keep worrying," Mercedes said.

"Well, the short version is that I'm jealous of Dylan, but I'm working through it, and I love you and Sam."

"That pretty much sums it up," Sam said and hugged her.

"Since you gave me the short version, I'll give you a short answer; Mercedes said as she stroked Finn's face, "Number 1, I love you and Sam. That's it. Number 2, Dylan is a great guy but he ain't you. Understand?"

Finn kissed her again.

"Understood."

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY PART 4 – GIFTS FROM BRITTANA_**

Maria ran up the steps and flung herself onto Dylan's lap, causing him to spill his water. Santana chased behind her.

"Maria, be careful!"

"It's ok, she's fine," Dylan said as he sat the half empty bottle on the ground, "I guess she's a little excited."

Maria hugged him.

"I like you!"

Dylan smiled and hugged her back. Brittany stood before them with her hands on hips, her head tilted to the side.

"I wonder why she likes you so much."

Santana sat down in the empty lawn chair next to Sam, and pulled Brittany onto her lap.

"It's probably the tattoo."

"But my mom has a tattoo and she can't stand her."

"That's because she tried to feed her tofu and made her listen to Enya."

"I like tofu!"

"You also like alfalfa sprouts and peanut butter, but I love you anyway."

Sam kissed Mercedes on the forehead.

"You know we should probably open the presents now."

"I agree," Kurt said as he and Blaine walked up the steps, hand in hand, with Burt and Carole behind them.

Brittany hopped off of Santana's lap, clapping her hands and smiling in anticipation.

"You guys should open our gifts first!"

Before anyone could respond, she bounced over to the gift table grabbing the two unicorn gift bags. She handed one to Mercedes and the other to Finn.

"I know you'll love what we got for you. Oh, and Sam, there's something for you in Mercedes' bag. We ran out of bags, and I didn't get a chance to buy another one."

Sam squeezed her hand.

"You didn't have to get me anything,"

"I know but I can't think of you without them or them without you."

"What?"

"You're connected. I couldn't leave you out."

"I think I understand, sort of."

"Good, cause I'm not sure I can explain it any better. I only see what I see." She gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Finn opened up his bag, and pulled out a light brown V-neck sweater. He didn't normally wear many sweaters, but he liked it.

"Thanks guys, this is really nice." He stood up and gave them each hug.

"She knit it herself," Santana said, her eyes shining with pride, "But I chose the colors!"

Kurt took the sweater from Finn and held it up.

"Nice work, Britt, though I find it odd to give a sweater as a gift in August."

Brittany shrugged.

"He can wear it when it gets cold."

Mercedes had a sweater the same style, but it was a deep purple, and Sam had one that was forest green. They tried them on, and each one fit perfectly.

"I love it Brittany," Mercedes said, "But how did you know our sizes?"

"I just guessed."

Finn folded his sweater, and put it back into the gift bag. He turned to Sam and said: "I think we should give Mercy her gifts now."

Sam nodded.

"Ok." He went to the gift table and picked up a small, rectangular blue box tied with a white ribbon and a larger box wrapped in shiny purple paper.

"Happy birthday, Cedes, he said as he and Finn kissed her on the cheek.

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY PART 5 – GUESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU_**

Mercedes untied the ribbon, and opened the smallest box first.

"Oh, this is beautiful!"

She pulled out a gold, heart shaped locket with three jewels embedded on the front: a periodot, a sapphire, and a topaz. She opened the locket, and inside there was a picture of the three of them together lying on a blanket in her backyard, the sunlight shining on their faces.

"Those are our birthstones," Finn said.

"Wait, how did you -"

"I helped them with that part," Santana said with a wave of her hand, "They were clueless."

Kurt sat down on the bench with Blaine beside him.

"Clueless is right. I had to tell them where to buy _real jewelry_ and not that crap at Wal-Mart."

"Pretty heart!" Maria said as she snuggled into Dylan's arms, "I want one too!"

Burt whistled through his teeth.

"Nothing short about that. You boys did good for Miss Lady!"

"It's lovely, Carol said as she came closer to inspect the locket, "Let me help you put it on." After she fastened the necklace around Mercedes' neck, she stood back and admired it some more, "It looks perfect on you."

Mercedes leaned over and kissed Finn and Sam.

"I'm never taking it off."

"Now open the other gift, Cedes," Sam said.

She tore off the purple wrapping paper, and found a brown leather photo album with the words "Why We Love You" stenciled in gold letters across the front. She opened the album, and inside there were pictures of their summer together: picnics at the botanical gardens, hiking, birthday parties… And underneath each picture was a note describing the scene and why they loved her.

One of the photos was taken in Carol's flower garden. Finn and Sam weren't looking at the camera, but instead staring at Mercedes. She held a blue rose, and she was looking down, a smile on her full lips, her hair was in a fluffy halo around her head. Finn was kissing her temple, and Sam had his arm wrapped around her. Underneath the photo was a note that said: July 12, 2011 - You told us about the invisible princess inside the chandelier, and we fell in love with you all over again.

Mercedes had forgotten about that day. She remembered holding the blue rose, and kissing her boyfriends until they all needed to come up for air. It was afterwards when they were talking about nothing that she mentioned her imaginary friend. It was a brief, blink and you'll miss it moment, and they had captured it.

"Do you like it?" Finn asked her, his voice timid.

"We want to show you how much you mean to us, Sam said, stroking her cheek.

Mercedes held the album to her chest.

"I never talked about the princess because I was forced to let her go. But you made it ok for me to have her. I love you both, thank you so much for this."

Finn and Sam hugged her, and as they were about to pull away, she clung to them.

"Please, just hold me."

So they held on tighter, and after a while, she slowly broke the embrace, her eyes glistening with tears.

"I'm just so happy – I didn't want-" She tried to find the words but failed.

"We understand," Finn said, and kissed the top of her head.

She looked up at them and smiled.

"Thank you."

Mercedes kissed them again. She held their faces in her small hands, and looked into their eyes, their hazel and green gaze never faltered, and they stared right back at her. Yes, they were vulnerable and scared and sad at times, but they were not afraid to love, or give themselves to her.

Sam sang softly:

_When I'm feeling blue. All I have to do, is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue_.

Finn sang the next line:

"_When you're close to me. Nothing seems to matter; my whole world could shatter, I don't care_."

Then together they sang:

_Wouldn't you agree? Baby, you and me have got a groovy kind of love…_

They held each other close, and she almost forgot the party guests, until she heard Kurt whisper.

"Now, Blaine, why aren't we like that?"

Mercedes let go first, and saw the others beaming at them, even Santana appeared touched, and she pulled Brittany closer to her, kissing her on the cheek.

As they settled back into their seats, the doorbell rang.

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY PART 6 – GENERAL HUDSON AND UNCLE DAN_**

Finn was about to go answer the door, but Carol stopped him.

"I'll get it. It's probably your grandfather."

"But Mom, I thought he was too sick to leave home."

"His nurse said he was feeling better, and that he needed to get out. She called earlier to let me know she was bringing him by, sorry I forgot to tell you. I was too busy with the party. Now, Finn, I know this won't be easy-"

"It's ok if PawPaw doesn't know me. I still love him." Finn tried to smile even though he suddenly felt a sense of dread.

Carol patted his shoulder, and went inside.

Sam put his arm around Finn and hugged him to his side.

"Maybe our gift will help."

"What do you mean?"

Mercedes handed Finn a small, flat rectangular box wrapped in gold paper and tied with a white ribbon.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart. We love you."

As he was about to open his gift, Carol, his grandfather, and Uncle Dan came out onto the deck.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Finn asked as he pointed to his Uncle Dan, "I thought his nurse was bringing him!"

"Finn, watch your language!" His mother said.

"It's ok, Carol. I deserved that," Uncle Dan said, "I gave Cassie the afternoon off, so I brought him."

"PawPaw can stay, but you need to leave. Now!"

His grandfather cleared his throat, completely oblivious to Finn's outburst. He was dressed in his army uniform, and walked with a cane. No matter how many times his nurse tried to get him to wear something different, he insisted on wearing his old uniform. It hung on his thin frame and the gold buttons shined. His blue eyes squinted at all of them, looking uncertain, and then he smiled and saluted them. Finn returned the salute and soon everyone else did the same.

"At ease gentlemen! I'm General Lucas Hudson, pleased to make your acquaintance. Now is this a party for my son Daniel or Jack? Fine boys, I have. Jack is in the army like me, not much of a scholar but…" PawPaw stopped speaking and peered into their faces, searching for something, "Now, where are my boys? Why Daniel just won a track trophy, isn't that right, Harriet?" He looked over at Carol and touched her face. "You haven't changed a bit. But who are these people?"

"Dad, I'm right here, it's me, Daniel." Uncle Dan said, gripping the old man's arm.

"So this party is for you?"

"Why don't you sit down, Lucas? Would you like something to drink?" Carol asked.

"Scotch, if you have it. And don't water it down either. I'm a man who can hold his liquor among other things," he said as he sat down.

"Good to see you Lucas!" Burt said grabbing his hand in a firm handshake, "Life treating you ok?"

"Can't complain, sir, are you a military man?"

As Burt and PawPaw chatted, Finn stared at his Uncle Dan in disgust. He looked like a bum with his old motorcycle jacket and greasy brown hair.

"I don't want you here."

"Look, Finny, can we go inside and talk?"

"Don't call me that!"

Suddenly, he felt Sam and Mercedes grab his hands.

"We're here," they whispered, "It's ok, we're here."

Carol came over to them.

"Finn, please calm down. Maybe you should talk to him."

"Ok, I'll talk to him, but only if Sam and Mercedes come with me."

Uncle Dan shoved his hands in his pockets, and he narrowed his eyes.

"Who are they?"

"They're my boyfriend and girlfriend, and if you want to talk to me, I suggest you get that look off your face."

"Carol, what's this all about?" Uncle Dan asked her, "What has my nephew got himself into?"

"Dan, please, let's all go inside." She said as she slid the door open.

They followed her inside and went into the living room. Finn sat down on the couch with Sam and Mercedes on either side of him and Uncle Dan sat across from them on the loveseat. Carol stood in the middle of the room, her hands on her hips.

"I'm not getting in the middle of this right now. I need to get PawPaw his drink and check on him. I want you to talk to each other, not at each other, she then turned to Uncle Dan and said: "Dan, I think you're a jerk for coming here today unannounced. After all that happened I would think you had more sense. But now that you're here, you can have your say."

"He doesn't deserve it," Finn said, glaring at him.

"He may not deserve it but you do."

"I don't understand."

"Trust me, you will," Carol said and left the room.

Uncle Dan pointed to Mercedes.

"What's your name again?"

Mercedes smiled politely and said, "My name is Mercedes Jones, and I'm Finn's girlfriend.

"And I'm Sam Evans, his boyfriend," Sam said, "Finn has told us a lot about you."

Uncle Dan laughed a bit, and then it turned into a hacking cough. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a red bandana, and spit a large wad of phlegm into it.

"Sorry about that. Trying to quit smoking," his eyes were bloodshot, "So how does whatever it is you three are doing work?"

Finn gripped their hands.

"I love them and they love me. That's how it works. Now tell me just what the fuck you're doing here?"

"You know I knew a few guys in the state pen that experimented a little, it was hard being locked up with no women, so they found other ways to –"

"I don't care about what your loser friends did in prison. You come here on my birthday like a jackass, and now you want me to listen to you!"

Dan held up his hands in surrender.

"Ok, ok, I get you. Look, Finn, I want to say that I'm sorry."

"That's it?"

"I'm sorry for everything. Stealing the money. Taking PawPaw's watch. Everything, man. Just everything that hurt you and Carol. It was so hard after Jack was killed."

"Don't you use my father as an excuse to shoot up and be a dick. He was a 100 times the man you are. You chose to do that to yourself. Nobody made you!"

"I hate to break it to you kid, but your father wasn't a saint. He had a problem too. He liked Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan a little too much, ask your Mom about finding him naked in the park with some bitch. Did you know about that? Or how he hid empty liquor bottles inside the toilet?"

Finn lunged at him, but Sam and Mercedes held him back.

"How could you say those things about his father? What kind of man are you?" Sam said as he held onto Finn, who kept pulling away to attack his uncle.

"I'm an honest man. He's 18 now. He should know the truth." Uncle Dan said as he backed away from them.

Mercedes desperately tried to hold onto Finn as well, but she was losing her grip.

"You're only hurting him. Haven't you done enough of that already?" She said, her eyes filling with tears, "You come to apologize, but you say things like that?"

"You sick motherfucker! How dare you talk shit about my father! We got evicted from our home because you stole from my mom, and she only wanted to help you change. You kept making me promises and breaking them! I looked up to you! You were the closest thing I had to a father… but then you stole PawPaw's watch, and he doesn't remember me anymore." Finn shouted as he crumbled into Sam and Mercedes' arms, and they held him tight.

"Babe, just hold onto us," Sam said as the tears fell from his eyes.

"We love you, Finn, don't forget that, no matter what happens, we're here," Mercedes whispered.

Finn held onto them and let their soothing touches calm him down. His uncle's words twisted his heart and ripped it in half, every part of him ached. The father he knew took him to the park and pushed him on the swings. He told him about buried treasure and caught fireflies with him in the backyard. There were no liquor bottles in his memory. Only a man that towered over him and had the same crooked smile that he did. No father of his would ever be naked in the park with some slut. Not Jack Hudson. He looked at his father's picture that was on the end table next to the love seat. He stood in the front yard of their old house in his uniform, looking so proud, his smile could light up the universe as his mother used to say. The man in that picture was not a loser drunk.

Uncle Dan stared down at them looking uncertain as to what to do next.

"Look, I'm sorry if the truth hurts, alright? But I swear it's the truth. It's time you stopped idolizing a dead man. And even if I didn't steal Dad's watch and pawn it, what makes you think he would remember you? He's been going downhill for a while now."

Finn looked up at his uncle and said:

"Pawpaw gave that watch to me because he loved me. He told me to take care of it and I did. When he started to forget stuff, I would show him the watch, and he would remember me, and why he gave it to me. That watch made him remember, you asshole. And you took the one thing I had to stay in PawPaw's memory because you needed a fix."

"I didn't take Dad's memory. It's called dementia. Google it."

Sam stood up and balled his fists.

"You know, I'm sick of you hurting Finn with all this bullshit that keeps coming out of your mouth. Just leave. We'll have somebody else take PawPaw home."

Uncle Dan stared Sam's chest and his eyes grew wide.

"Is that Jack's angel necklace? Finn, did you give your little faggy boyfriend Jack's necklace? At least have some sense and give it to your girlfriend – if she's even a girl, you never can tell nowadays with all these operations."

At those words Finn broke free from Mercedes' arms despite her efforts to keep him on the couch, and lunged toward his uncle, and the two went crashing to the floor, his father's picture fell off the end table, and the glass frame broke. Finn punched him in the face as hard as he could, hoping to break his nose. Uncle Dan was strong and as they rolled around on the floor, he got in a few punches himself - one to Finn's face and the other to his stomach. Sam was knocked down in the scuffle, and he tried to break up the fight, but to no avail. Finn lost what was left of his control. He didn't even feel Uncle Dan's punches - all he felt was anger and despair.

"I hate you! If he's a faggot then so am I! Sam and Mercedes love me even when I don't deserve it, and you have the nerve to disrespect them? I warned you earlier, you son of a bitch…"

But Uncle Dan had to get the last word in.

"You think Jack would approve of this sick shit you're in, huh? I bet he's turning in his grave right now. I'm the only one that can save you, Finny, I care about you remember how it used to be when we –"

Finn didn't know how many punches he threw, or when Burt yanked him off of his uncle. All he knew was that he had bloody fists, and his throat hurt from screaming. He heard Carol yelling at Dan. Santana was cursing in Spanish. Kurt was shouting something about the police and 911. Then his grandfather appeared, clutching his cane, he looked down at them, his face bright red.

"Shameful," he said, poking them with his cane, "Simply shameful acting like common scoundrels. Look what you've done."

"PawPaw, I'm so sorry," Finn said, trying to reach for him,

but his grandfather moved away.

"Who are you? Don't touch me!"

"It's me Finn, your –" Finn stopped talking. It was useless. He didn't know why he kept trying but he did.

"And you," PawPaw said pointing to Uncle Dan, "You sir, need to be locked up! Look at what you did!" He waved his cane toward Finn's father's picture lying on the floor surrounded by shards of glass.

"Why was he your favorite? Why was Jack the one who got everything?" Uncle Dan said as he slowly got his breath, "Never had much use for me - did you?"

PawPaw stood leaning on his cane. He stared at Uncle Dan, but there was no recognition in his eyes.

"I got that picture from a priest. Now Judas, I have to prepare for battle," PawPaw said, and hobbled into the kitchen.

Somehow Finn ended up in Sam and Mercedes' arms again, and they took him upstairs to the bathroom.

They wet a washcloth and washed his face and hands. Sam held an icepack over his swollen eye. Finn's hand was throbbing, and it looked crooked.

"Can you move your fingers?" Mercedes asked.

Finn wiggled his fingers around.

"Do you think it's broken, Cedes?" Sam asked as he got the alcohol and antiseptic cream out of the medicine cabinet.

She shook her head.

"I don't know. But it wouldn't hurt to get it checked out."

Finn began to cry because everything suddenly felt hopeless.

"I'm sorry Mercy, today was supposed to be special for you. I ruined your day, baby, I'm so sorry…"

She hugged him.

"Finn, please, it's ok. You didn't ruin anything. I felt so loved today. I never celebrated my birthday before, and it was wonderful. Your uncle can't take that joy from me."

There was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Finn, it's me, I just want to see if you're ok."

Sam opened the door. Carol walked in and looked at her son sitting on the edge of the tub, all bloody and bruised, with tears streaming down his face. She went to him and hugged him.

"Everything is going to be ok, sweetheart. I thought it would be good to clear the air, but I was wrong. Dan said he was in a new 12 step program."

"Mom, please, just I don't want to talk right now. I love you."

"I understand," she said as she kissed the top of his head, "If you want to go to the hospital, let us know."

"Mom, wait."

"Yes?"

"Is Uncle Dan still here?"

"Yes, but only because he's a little dizzy. He'll be leaving soon. I think Burt is driving him to the hospital."

"Oh, I see. Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not angry. I just wanted to make sure my son was in one piece." She hugged him again and then walked out.

Sam and Mercedes continued to clean him up. Sam made him take two Tylenol for the pain.

"I don't think I need to go the ER," Finn said as he swallowed the pills. I just want to lie down. Will you guys come with me?"

"Of course we will. You don't even have to ask," Sam said.

They went into his bedroom and drew the curtains. Finn stripped down to his boxers and got under the covers. Sam did the same, and Mercedes put on her long white nightgown. Soon they were holding each other again, and Finn's heart didn't hurt as much.

Flashes of his father sitting at the edge of his bed when he was a scared little boy came to mind, and he began to cry again. If he could just touch his father again, or play with the buttons on his uniform…

Then PawPaw appeared in his memories. He would hold the watch to Finn's ear and say "You kept her ticking, just like I said you would." He missed his PawPaw too, and the stories he told about his father. He would give him butterscotch drops, and Finn sat perched on his lap, getting lost in the stories, even though he heard them a thousand times. His father lived in those stories. Suddenly, Finn became a little boy named Jack, who popped wheelies on his new bike, and scared girls with frogs he caught in the pond. PawPaw gave him his father all over again. Now his grandfather lived in a fog of prescription pills and distant memories, tiny fragments of his past collected together in a complicated collage, and those beautiful stories stayed buried somewhere inside him.

"Mercy, Sammy?" Finn whispered.

"Yes?" they answered.

"If I tell you PawPaw's stories, will you help me write them down?"

"Yes, but I think our gift will help you. With all the chaos, we'll have to give it to you tomorrow," Sam said as he tightened his arm around him.

Finn's body calmed down when he did this.

"What did you get me?"

"Baby, wait until tomorrow. You need to rest," Mercedes said, "Your heart is pounding a mile a minute."

"I just need a story right now."

"Did you want me to do your grandfather's voice, and tell that fishing story you told us," Sam asked and kissed his shoulder.

"Ok."

Sam cleared his throat and imitated PawPaw's voice:

"My boy Jack loved to go fishing. That boy could fish like nobody's business, once he caught a fish so big it was in the local paper and they took his picture. I was mighty proud of Jack."

Finn laughed in the darkness.

**XXX**

Much later that night, he heard his mother and Burt outside his bedroom door.

"You mean all three of them are in there together? They know the rules," Burt said in an angry whisper.

"Look Burt, what happened was horrible. You see how they love each other. Let them be. We'll talk about it later. Anything that can help him get through this –"

"Alright, if you say so, but just this once. I don't want Kurt to think I have double standards."

"We're letting them go to Kentucky alone. You have to figure they've been intimate."

"I know that. I can't control what they do outside of our home, but as long as he's living under our roof, he has to follow the rules."

"You're right," she sighed and said, "I can't believe Dan told him about Jack and –"

Finn couldn't hear anything after that. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to. A coldness seeped into his bones. He shuddered. Sam and Mercedes felt his body shake, and they held him tighter as he drifted back to sleep.

* * *

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY PART 7 – A SILVER LINING _**

The next morning everyone sat at the kitchen table. His grandfather had spent the night, refusing to go home after the fiasco. He thought he had to prepare for battle. He sat there sipping his orange juice and reciting his attack plans with his confused family members. Kurt smiled politely as he ate his eggs. Finn wanted to run away, but instead he simply held his grandfather's hand and nodded.

Mercedes pushed the unopened birthday gift toward Finn and said:

"Go on, open it."

He looked at Sam and Mercedes and they just nodded. Burt took a sip of his coffee and coughed into his napkin.

"We need something to cheer us up," he said.

Finn unwrapped the gift. Inside the box was an antique silver watch. He stared at it for a long time.

"Oh my God."

"Finn, is that PawPaw's watch?" Carol asked.

"Look on the back," Sam said.

He turned the watch over and read the engraving aloud: "To Lucas, with all my love, Harriet, "But this can't be the watch. I don't believe – I mean there was a fire and -"

Suddenly, PawPaw stopped rambling about grenades, and reached for the watch in Finn's hand.

"Is that my pocket watch? Did you take good care of it for me, Finn?"

"PawPaw, do you know who I am?" Finn said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Why of course. I gave you this watch for safekeeping. You kept it ticking just like I asked you too. I love you so much. Come give PawPaw a hug."

Finn reached over and hugged his grandfather. PawPaw knew his name and remembered him. He laughed and cried into his shoulder.

"There, there, Finn, it's alright. You're growing up to be a fine young man. Just like your father Jack. I wish I could see him."

"I love you, PawPaw," Finn said through his tears.

"And I love you. Did I ever tell you the story about Jack and how he got caught stealing the communion wafers?"

Finn pulled away from him, wiping the tears from his face.

"No, but could you tell us about it? Do you have time?"

His grandfather laughed, and his blue eyes twinkled.

"I have all the time in the world."

"I thought I lost you."

"Oh, Finn, don't cry. You'll never lose me as long as you remember me."

**XXX**

Later that morning, after his mother took PawPaw home, Finn sat with Sam and Mercedes on the front porch. The early morning air was cool and dewdrops sparkled in the sunlight. The sky was bright blue and Finn was reminded of how blue his grandfather's eyes were, just clear, blue eyes that held keys to the past. Finn breathed in the smell of damp grass, and the aroma of bread baking next door. Mrs. Callahan always left her kitchen window open when she baked. He clutched the watch in his hand.

"How did you do it? After Uncle Dan stole the watch, he said he pawned it at Fleshman's Pawn Shop, but you guys know it burned down, and everything was lost."

"It's a replica. Not the original. We had it made based on the pictures you had," Mercedes said.

Sam put his arm around him.

"We tried searching for it online thinking maybe it was sold before the fire, but came up empty handed. We figured this was the next best thing."

"I can't believe you did all this for me."

"We love you and we know how much your grandfather means to you. This is your link to him. We wanted to get it back for you," Mercedes said as she reached for his hand, "Yesterday ended in a disaster and we didn't want Dan to see the watch, so we waited until this morning."

"This is the best present I've ever gotten in my life. I can't thank you enough, Finn said pulling them into a hug, "But how do you even get an antique watch made?"

"Sweetie, it took a lot of blood, sweat and tears. We will tell you about on our way to Kentucky, Mercedes said pinching his cheeks, so let's get a move on. I'm so glad your grandfather remembered you."

They all hugged again, and Finn was more than ready to start their journey. Just then a battered, red Toyota pulled into the driveway. It was Dylan. He got out of the car, and he was carrying a blue folder in his hand.

"Hey guys, I thought I would stop by before you left just to make sure everything was ok, that was pretty intense yesterday." He stood on the porch awkwardly as if he wasn't sure what to do next.

Sam hugged him. "Thanks, man. Everything is cool now. You didn't have to drive over."

"Well I wanted to give you the latest chapter of the story," he said, handing the blue folder to Sam, "I want all of you to read it. There's a surprise in there I think you might like. My online service is acting weird, so I couldn't email it to you like I wanted."

"Thanks for coming by Dylan," Finn said, "Did Maria see the fight? I hope she didn't."

Dylan shook his head.

"No, I kept her in the back yard with me. We played Ring around the Rosie. She never saw a thing."

Finn breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God."

"Can I talk to you privately for a second?"

Finn looked at Sam and Mercedes and then said, "Sure."

He walked with Dylan to his car.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Dylan turned to look at him.

"Wow, your uncle really laid one on you," he said as he pointed to Finn's black eye.

"That's what you wanted to tell me?"

"No," he was quiet for a few moments, and then said:

"When things get bad at work and Sam is stressed out, he'll go outside and stare at a picture of the three of you. He thinks nobody sees him, but I do. He smiles at the picture, sometimes he even kisses it. Then he goes back to work, and everything is ok again."

Finn reached out and touched his shoulder.

"Wait, I don't get it."

Dylan opened the car door and got in, as he buckled his seatbelt he said:

"I can't break something that can't be broken. I hope you guys have fun in Kentucky. See you later!"

He started the car and drove away.

* * *

**_MY OLD KENTUCKY HOME - PART 1_**

Sam didn't notice the breathtaking countryside or the gorgeous view of the lake from their bedroom window in Blaine's summerhouse. He didn't notice the fancy toilet that flushed by itself or the painting of an old man in a sailboat hanging above the king sized bed. The only thing he noticed were the two people lying on the bed - naked and ready to make love. It had been too long. So long that none of his masturbatory fantasies even came close to this moment. They turned out the lights and lit lots of candles, casting a soft, golden glow on their skin. The scent of wild daisies and violets wafted throughout the room. Earlier that day, he and Finn had picked a bouquet for Mercedes and now the flowers sat in a vase on the dresser. Her breasts sagged a bit due to their fullness and weight. Her nipples were hard, and her chubby belly reminded him of a soft pillow. She still wore her birthday locket, and the three jewels sparkled in the candlelight like tiny stars. His gaze swept over her shapely legs, finally settling on her beautiful, round ass and his cock hardened even more. Damn, their girl was sexy. There wasn't a single thing that he would change.

Finn was beside her, stroking his cock as he massaged one of her breasts with his bandaged hand, his broad chest rising and falling. His left eye was swollen, purple bruises covered his torso, his bottom lip was split, and he was thicker around the middle - yet none of those things made a difference to Sam: extra pounds, cellulite, stretch marks, and bruises… these were the bodies he craved and loved. Every imperfection was something he adored. It's what made them beautiful and unique.

Finn stopped stroking himself.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'm just thinking how lucky I am."

Mercedes reached out to Sam, sliding his boxers down his narrow hips, revealing his painfully hard erection. Leaning back on the bed, she spread her plump thighs, and opened her arms. The three embraced. Sam let his hands roam all over their bodies; he wanted to take his time, because so much had happened that he was determined they would enjoy their lovemaking even more than usual.

Sam crawled between her legs and inhaled her scent before taking a long, slow, lick, his tongue gliding along the length of her canal and ending at her clit. Her tangy sweetness tasted so good and he couldn't get enough of it. Her back arched off the bed. Finn fondled and sucked her breasts, attempting to get as much as he could into his hungry mouth. Mercedes moaned, and her breathing came in little gasps.

"Don't hold anything back, Mercy, just cum, scream if you have to," Finn said.

"That goes for you too," Sam said as he looked up at him from between Mercedes' thighs, his face glistening with her juices, "Lie back."

"Give me a taste, first," Finn said, and Sam leaned over and kissed him allowing him to enjoy her essence.

"So sweet," Finn said, as they broke apart, then he kissed Mercedes.

Sam pushed two fingers inside her and pumped slowly. He reached out and grabbed Finn's erect member and began to jerk him off as he pleasured Mercedes.

Something about watching his girlfriend and boyfriend reach orgasm at the same time got him off, their moans and groans made him hard. Then each dirty thought he had flew out of his mouth as he became more excited.

"You like my fingers in your pussy, Cedes? You're squeezing them so tight. Spread your legs wider, baby, let yourself go."

"And you, babe, am I stroking your dick good? It feels so hot and hard in my hand…"

They writhed about on the bed, their bodies shaking as they crept toward orgasm. Finn grabbed Mercedes' bouncing tits, and took her thick nipples between his teeth and gently bit down, and then Sam kissed her clit and pressed his mouth against it and hummed. That's when Mercedes flew apart. Finn came moments later, his cum shooting inside Sam's hand and onto Mercedes' thighs. Sam offered his hand to her mouth, and she licked the cum from his fingers as Finn kissed and nibbled on her neck, his hand traveled down to her belly, stroking and squeezing the soft flesh. Suddenly, he gasped. Sam looked at him.

"Finn, you ok? Did you need a painkiller?"

"I'm good. But we need to take care of you, we can't let you stay like that," he said, pointing to his erection.

"He's right, Sam," Mercedes said.

They pushed Sam back on the bed and got between his legs, and together they took turns licking and sucking his cock.

"Fuck, that feels good, yeah, keep doing it like that…" Sam said between his cries and moans.

Mercedes played with his balls as Finn took him in his mouth, Sam pulled at Finn's hair, grunting as he got closer to his release. He didn't last long, and he came in Finn's mouth. Finn swallowed and then pulled away, allowing Mercedes to finish sucking him dry. Sam could hardly breathe.

"I've never, you two just –"

They lay on either side of him, kissing his face. Then Sam pulled Mercedes on top of him, and she spread her legs, allowing him entry; they shared a long kiss, and then he pulled Finn toward kissing him too. When they broke apart, Sam grabbed the lube from the nightstand and said:

"Babe, take her from behind."

Finn lubricated his fingers and slowly pushed them into her anus, getting her ready for his cock. When he was sure she was ok, he slipped himself inside. Mercedes moaned, her mouth hung open, and her eyes closed, she leaned back against him and sighed. Soon they were moving together, and Sam couldn't think of a more beautiful sight than the three of them connected in each other's bodies, pushing and pulling, like a glorious machine. The candlelight shined on their sweaty bodies, and even if it seemed blasphemous, how they came together was almost spiritual to Sam

Sam cried and Mercedes reached down and wiped his tears, even though her eyes were misty as well. He looked up, and saw Finn's tears falling onto Mercedes' shoulders, trickling down, and disappearing into the valley of her gorgeous breasts, as they jiggled and swayed with each movement. His large arms were wrapped around her wide hips, and he held her close as she rode them together.

They all held hands when they were overcome with an orgasm, their fingers interlocking like puzzle pieces – fitting together perfectly. After the tremors died down in their bodies, everything was still. Sometimes you feel love without words, it's all about touch, and hearts beating, and those quiet gasps when lovemaking transcends the body. It's in tear-filled eyes, violet bruises, and scars raised on your skin. Sam wasn't sure how long they stayed inside each other, but nobody wanted to let go, it was hard to, because this was home.

* * *

**END NOTES**

Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

**Summary:** Sam wants to have sex with Finn and faces his demons.

**Rating:** Mature

**Author's Note:** I wanted to thank you all for following me on tumblr and for reading and reviewing this story. This was a difficult chapter to write. It deals with heavy themes and I apologize in advance if anyone is offended, but I have to write the story as it comes to me. The next chapter will be lighter. Please read with discretion. Strong sexual content. Mature themes. As always reviews are appreciated!

* * *

**_MY OLD KENTUCKY HOME PART 2_**

Sam woke up with song lyrics in his head. He grabbed his notebook from off the floor, and opened the French doors in their bedroom that lead to a small balcony overlooking the lake behind the house. The sun was rising in the horizon, filling the sky with golden pink light, and reflecting off the lake like sparkled jewels. The wind blew through his hair, and he smelled the honeysuckle bushes that grew beneath the balcony. He sat on the wicker bench with its flowered cushions, and quickly wrote down the lyrics before he forget them. He could hear Finn's low, rumbling snore through the closed door and chuckled to himself. At first his snoring bothered them, but after a while, they got used to it, and it just became another sound that lulled them to sleep. When he was finished, he closed the notebook and crept quietly back inside.

He blew out all the burning candles they had placed around the room. The faint white smoke curled in the air creating squiggly patterns then slowly disappeared. Sam looked down at the two people he cherished most in the world and smiled. Finn's bruised arm was flung across Mercedes' waist, holding her close to him. Mercedes lay on her back; her left breast was covered with the sheet while the right one was exposed for view. The tempting sight aroused him; he needed to touch her. He slid out of his boxers and got back in bed. Sam palmed her breast, marveling at its fullness and weight, his mouth watered, and he lowered his head and began to suck on it, tasting her salty sweet skin that had hints of their cum mixed in with the flavor. Mercedes slowly began to stir, and her eyes opened. She blinked a few times and looked down at him.

"Sam, baby, I..." She stopped speaking and moaned as he pulled down the sheet and both of her breasts were on display. Sam continued to suck one breast as he squeezed and fondled the other. Mercedes gasped and her legs opened, quivering slightly. She grabbed a handful of Sam's long hair and tugged. Finn yawned and opened his eyes. He reached over, and kissed Mercedes on the lips and then pulled the sheet completely away. She let go of Sam's hair and tried to touch herself, but Finn grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. And with his free hand, he slipped his big fingers inside her.

"Come Josephine in my flying machine, going up she goes," he sang softly in her ear.

Mercedes surrendered to Finn's firm hold on her wrists; he removed his fingers, and Sam got between her legs and pushed his tongue inside her, burrowing into her core, and licked slowly, feeling her muscles clench. Her body shook as she came, and Sam kept going, determined to make her come again. He imagined that Finn's lips were attached to her taut nipples, and he wished he had a picture of this moment, with the three of them together, his blonde head trapped between her warm brown thighs, as the morning sun shined on them.

Even though they had made love all night, he was hungry again, something about Finn and Mercedes made him want their bodies all the time, maybe it was because they not only had his heart, but his entire being, all the joy, pain, and sorrow. Mercedes gasped and panted.

"Wow"," she managed to say when she was able to breathe again.

"I'm glad we gave you a good morning," Sam said as he and Finn kissed her face and neck.

They held each other for a while, and listened to the birds chirping outside their bedroom window. Then Sam knew it was time.

"I want Finn inside me," he said.

Finn's head jerked up from his pillow.

"Wait, are you sure? Nobody is rushing you. What you did last night was awesome."

"I'm ready. I love you and I want to open myself to you the way I do with Cedes."

Mercedes sat up and kissed Sam's cheek.

"I'll be by your side the entire time. I love you."

"I love you too, and I couldn't do this without you," Sam said and kissed her; he then looked over at Finn and said: "So, I'm giving myself to you if you'll have me."

Finn pulled them both into a hug.

"I'll always want you whether you give yourself to me or not. If you feel you're ready for this, then I'm ok with it. But this is for all three of us."

"I need to see your faces," Sam said.

"Of course, we want to look into your eyes too," Finn said stroking his cheek, I love you."

Sam was glad they remembered to say that they loved him. Each time they said it, his fear lessened.

The three kissed each other, pressing their bodies together. Mercedes kissed the sensitive spot behind Sam's ear, making his toes curl. Finn's hands roamed down to his ass, squeezing each cheek, and Sam moaned at his touch. Then he and Mercedes pushed him back on the bed, telling him how much they loved him as they covered his body with kisses.

Sam looked up at them. Their hazel and brown eyes were filled with love. He opened his arms and they fell into another embrace and he felt their heartbeats matching his own.

"This feels right," Sam said as he held them.

Finn nodded and smiled. He pulled away and settled himself between Sam's legs, his cock thick and hard. The bruises on his body were now the color of storm clouds, a dark purplish hue. Mercedes tweaked Sam's nipples, and then she licked each one, sending a wave of pleasure through his body, he gazed up at the ceiling and tried to catch his breath. He felt her hands journey downward, drifting over his stomach, lightly touching the hard planes of his abs, then she gently squeezed his balls before stroking his member, and he cried out. Finn put the lube on his fingers. At first he only used one finger, and he was very careful as he eased it inside his tight hole, Mercedes gripped Sam's hand.

"Sweetheart, how do you feel?"

"I'm good."

She kissed him, letting her tongue linger in his mouth; Sam loved how her plump lips dominated his own.

Finn inserted another finger. The intrusion felt strange and good to Sam. Then for a brief second he heard Reverend Barnes' voice, _"You little bitch don't act like you don't want it..."_ he couldn't place where it came from, his body jerked. Finn stopped what he was doing.

"Babe?"

Sam didn't hear him. Instead he spoke to the phantom voice.

"You don't have me anymore. They love me," he said, "I'm loved. Do you hear me? I'm loved…"

"Let's stop," Mercedes said.

Then he heard it again. It was a faint whisper: _"Worthless queer, you think God loves you? You were born bad..."_

_Suddenly Reverend Barnes appeared in his mind, a ghost with a malicious smile, standing in the doorway of his house. Sam smelled wood polish, and he was transported back to that awful spring afternoon when everything changed. Fear crept into his heart, but he worked through it, and he challenged Reverend Barnes._

_"You can't take this from me. You don't have the power."_

Finn and Mercedes held his hands and let him talk. Somehow, he knew they would understand.

_"Love is stronger than you. You can't hurt me anymore," Sam said, "I'm not afraid. I'm not running."_

_Reverend Barnes dragged him into the house, and Sam already knew what was waiting for him. He saw a 12 year old boy, lying face down on the hardwood floor, bleeding from his rectum and screaming. Sam pushed past the Reverend and reached for the boy. His clothes were torn off, his thick glasses were cracked, and he only wore one shoe. Sam looked into his eyes and reflected back all the love he felt from Finn and Mercedes. The boy clung to him and continued to cry out in pain._

_"I know this is horrible, but you aren't bad. You're a good boy and I'm making you whole again." Sam said as he rocked him in his arms. "I love you," Sam whispered in the boy's ear, "I love you and I never thought I could, but I do. You're not bad."_

_"You can't save him," Reverend Barnes said, "I got what I wanted."_

_"Now, I'm taking it back," Sam said then turned his attention to the boy, "It's ok, go on and cry. I'm here. He can't hurt you anymore."_

_The boy finally stopped crying. The blood was gone. The longer he held onto Sam, the more they became a part of each other, and soon they morphed into one soul. Sam stood up and walked out of the house. He glanced back and the Reverend turned into a heap of gray ashes that floated away and disappeared into the darkness. _

Sam opened his eyes_._

"Baby, are you ok?" Mercedes asked.

"Please say something," Finn said.

Sam didn't respond. Instead he hugged them close to his heart, trying to calm the emotions running through him. They just held each other listening to the silence when Finn said:

"What was it like talking to Reverend Barnes?"

Sam pulled away from him.

"How did you know?"

"You said his name, but I felt it, and so did Mercy."

"And then the window opened," Mercedes said, "I don't believe in supernatural stuff, yet I think he was here. Or something was here. We just kept holding your hand as you talked."

"I felt your love the entire time. Thank you for not letting go."

"We would never let go," Finn said kissing him on the lips, "We're not going anywhere."

"Exactly," Mercedes said as she stroked his head, "Even when you're talking to ghosts."

Sam looked over at the window sill.

"What's that? Is that a pair of glasses?"

He was about to get up, but Finn stopped him.

"Just lie here, and let Mercy hold you. I'll go see what it is."

Moments later, Finn came back with a pair of glasses and handed them to Sam.

"Are these yours?"

Sam began to cry as he took the glasses from Finn.

The cracks were gone.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15 **

**Summary:** Sam begins to have a better self-image; Finn reveals more stuff about Rachel; and Mercedes has a confrontation with her mother.

**Rating**: Mature

**Warning**: Strong sexual content. Strong language

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait, but thanks again to all my readers for reviewing, favoriting, and following my story!

* * *

**_A New Truth_**

Sam clutched the glasses as the tears ran down his cheeks. He didn't need an explanation about what happened, nor did he want one. When he held that trembling, frightened boy in his arms, he began to heal, nothing could stand in his path, not even sadistic assholes like Reverend Barnes. The stench of his skin, the pain of the rape, his cold touch, all were no match for the strength Sam had inside him. He had spent so much time believing the lies his father and Reverend Barnes told him. A bad person wouldn't love the way he did, or protect those around him like an angry bear. If he were such an awful person, he wouldn't take the time to help raise his brother and sister, or pray everyday that Finn and Mercedes stayed safe.

He finally saw the truth - the light rising above the darkness. Then he thought of Sunday morning service in Lima Methodist Church, sitting in the front pew between Stacy and Stevie, feeling safe and surrounded by the beautiful prayers and church hymns. He remembered that the preacher said that people got called home, well Sam wasn't sure if that's what he was feeling at the moment, but he felt closer to completion of being who he truly was. He let his fingers glide across the smooth lenses before placing the glasses on the dresser next to PawPaw's silver watch.

"I'm not bad," he said to Finn and Mercedes as they held him, "I'm a good person." It was hard to say out loud. The words choked in his throat, "I was never bad. All those words thrown at me, telling me who I was… my Dad saying a dead dog had more worth than me, but that son of a bitch was wrong, and then Reverend Barnes said I asked for it. How could I seduce a grown man? What could I have done to make him violate me and kill my spirit? I was just a kid who liked playing the guitar. He's got no hold over me anymore. I didn't deserve any of it. I know that now. It's like I had this broken record in my brain telling me how worthless and stupid I was and it's finally stopped," he paused for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you just get tired of running. You run so long, you can't even feel shit anymore, and when you do, it hurts so bad that you wished you were dead. But now I'm free. I don't have to run from the lies because I have the truth."

Finn and Mercedes snuggled closer to him. The warmth of their naked bodies soothed him, and he was reminded of everything good like when he believed he could float in the clouds by climbing the highest tree in his backyard. He sighed.

"I'm not scared anymore."

Finn kissed his temple. "It's hard for people to tear you down once you love yourself, and it looks like you're beginning to," Finn said, holding his hand, "Do you remember the first time I kissed you?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, when the three of us decided we should be together, why?"

"At first I didn't know why I did it. This was all for Mercy. She's what drew me in. Even with the dreams I had, you were there, but in the background; I never expected anything to happen. I mean I was freaked out, but then I realized why I kissed you."

"Why?"

"You were willing to share someone as special and precious as Mercy to make her happy. That's how big your heart is, and when I was inside her that first time, you said we looked beautiful together, and that's when I started to fall in love with you," Finn said and reached for Mercedes' hand, "I was blessed twice over when the two of you came into my life," he squeezed their hands then continued, "You know how in Avatar they say, I see you? Well, I see you, and I'm so thankful that you can see yourself now too."

"Amen," Mercedes said as she kissed Sam's cheek, "We're giving you a new record."

"What do you mean?"

"Just listen."

"Ok."

Mercedes touched his face and looked into his eyes, wiping away the tears that clung to his eyelashes.

"Samuel Ethan Evans you are wonderful."

Then Finn followed her lead, and the two took turns listing his greatest qualities:

"Caring."

"Compassionate."

"Honest."

"Loving."

"Creative."

"Intelligent."

And with each word they spoke, they kissed a part of him. First it was his face, then it was his shoulders, next his elbows, then his hands… and Sam accepted what was offered, those gentle kisses and kind words were the light he just discovered within himself, he lay there between them as they recited his new record, and it replaced the ugly reflection he often saw in the mirror. After awhile, they fell silent, and they all hugged each other.

"I love y'all so much," Sam said, clinging to them, "Hell, I was talking to a ghost and you stuck by me anyway. Thank you for seeing what I failed to see inside myself until today. Thank you for loving me."

Sam kissed his two loves. So many times he had kissed them, he knew their lips, their breath, how they responded at first contact. Mercedes always whimpered a little while Finn would utter a squeaky moan, and now as he kissed them, he felt the familiar all over again; Mercedes tugged his hair, holding on for life as they kissed, he heard her whimper, smelled her sweet perfume, and he felt the birthday locket press into his chest, making an imprint on his skin.

Then Finn's lips were connected with his, and they were bruised and slightly swollen, but even with the injuries, it was still Finn, there were gasps and sighs, and the uncontrollable squeak that made Sam smile.

"I want us to finish making love," he whispered to them.

"We don't have to. This is good too, you know, just holding each other," Finn said.

"It is," Mercedes said, "Sam, are you sure?"

Sam kissed them again. "I want to. I feel like I can love you better now."

"There was nothing wrong with how you loved us before," Finn said, his eyes watery.

"What I mean is that I'm open now. I know I deserve you and Cedes and all the love you give me. I got a part of myself back."

"Ok, if this is what you want," Mercedes said, but her tone was uncertain.

"It's what I want."

"We'll just take it slow," Finn said.

The three simply hugged and caressed each other at first - soft, gentle touches that gave way to lingering kisses. Sam massaged Mercedes' belly, kneading the flesh between his hands. She used to look away in shame when he did this, wondering how he could love her extra rolls, but now she lay back and enjoyed the attention, and Sam was happy that her self-doubt was withering away. Finn slowly stroked Sam's ass, paying careful attention to each cheek, giving firm squeezes here and there, as he kissed his neck and shoulders.

Sam moaned when they pushed him back on the bed and began to lick and suck his nipples; this always aroused him, and he squirmed about on the bed. They knew each other's bodies so well. Mercedes' hands roamed up and down his thigh, barely grazing his hard cock, and Sam ached for the touch, but his Cedes was teasing him, and she hummed softly in his ear, a melody he couldn't quite place but could listen to forever, while Finn nibbled his neck, and pinched his now erect nipples. Sam reached for Mercedes' beautiful breasts, the sunlight casting a golden glow on her brown skin. He loved how they swayed each time she moved, her plum colored nipples hardening in the cool morning breeze; he needed to taste them again, and she leaned forward, offering the heavy mounds to him, and he took as much he could into his greedy mouth.

Finn kissed his flat, muscled stomach, and kept moving down until he reached Sam's cock where he placed a soft kiss on the tip and gently licked off the pre-cum. Sam gasped at the touch of Finn's tongue on his cock, and he bit down hard on Mercedes' thick nipple.

"Ouch!" She said.

Sam pulled away from her.

"Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Are you ok?" Finn asked.

Mercedes smiled and inspected the bite mark.

"I'm fine. I was just got caught off guard, that's all. It only hurt a little bit and besides, I liked it."

Sam noticed a lustful gleam in her dark eyes.

"You're rubbing off on her Finn."

Finn laughed. "Is that such a bad thing?"

Sam continued to suckle Mercedes' breasts, her whimpers and sighs, reminded him of the quiet storm playlist she had on her iPod. Finn grabbed the lube from the nightstand and positioned himself between Sam's legs. Mercedes kissed Sam as she stroked his cock, and he held her tight.

"Cedes…" he couldn't get any words out. Finn had two fingers inside him, and Sam relaxed his muscles. He enjoyed the fullness he felt, and buried his face into Mercedes' smooth neck. She gently pulled away, and forced him to look up at her.

"Look at us, Sam. We want you here with us, ok?"

"I'm here," he said gazing up at them. And he was there. Just in that present moment where everything connected for them, like the night they saw the shooting star, and Sam wondered if blood ever washed away. Finn removed his fingers, and began to push himself inside Sam.

"We love you," Finn said, "Tell me if this hurts you at all."

"Keep going. I'm fine."

He felt Finn moving within him, tentatively at first, but with each thrust of his hips, he became more certain, and a rhythm was established. Finn stared down at him and said:

"Babe, are you with me?"

Sam nodded. It was too difficult to speak. He had that "top of the Ferris Wheel" feeling with everything rushing, rushing… the wind blew through the window, stirring the pale yellow curtains and swept across their bodies. Mercedes kissed him before shifting downward and taking his leaking cock into her mouth. Sam felt the familiar stirrings of an orgasm, that pleasant ache that made him feel like he was climbing higher and higher toward his own heaven, Finn gripped his hips and went deeper inside him, sliding against his prostate.

Sam threw his head back and he couldn't breathe for a moment - that was a pleasure spot he didn't know he had. Finn noticed his response and repeated the motion, and Sam yelled out, reaching for Mercedes' warm body, but then remembering she was no longer beside him. He looked down and watched her as she sucked him so sweetly, her lips and tongue, working his shaft, was almost too much. The space beside him was cold.

"Cedes, come up here with me."

She released his cock from her mouth and lay beside him. He slipped his fingers inside her, and his thumb circled her clit.

"Why didn't you let me finish?" Mercedes said as Sam continued to play with her, "I thought –" her body was responding to his pumping fingers and her breathing grew shallow.

"You're right where you need to be, because I want to take care of you," Sam said between breaths.

Finn's movements were becoming less restrained, his face was flushed; he leaned forward and grabbed Sam's cock as he thrust away inside him. Soon his strokes were matching each thrust; Sam threw his head back and moaned. He looked at Finn and Mercedes as he came in long squirts onto Finn's stomach, with the two of them soon following suit. He felt Finn's warm cum shoot inside him as Mercedes' juices covered his fingers.

Finn shook and fell on top of Sam, who held him close while his other arm was wrapped around Mercedes. They all kissed one another, murmuring half sentences, and trying to regain some semblance to reality.

"I can't even…" Finn began to say.

Sam was panting and he felt tremors run through his body.

"I know," he said, holding on to them for dear life, "that was incredible."

Sam could only see the edges of a dream – murky images of lips on skin, pairs of hazel and brown eyes staring into his, and clasped hands shaking. Then everything came into focus, and he immersed himself in the space where their bodies were fused together: Finn was buried inside him, and Mercedes was pressed against his hip, her soft flesh melting into his own.

He felt love overflowing into his heart, nothing to stop its path. Not a hold back love when you kept part of yourself hidden. It was a bright light love when everything showed – both good and bad: the blood, hurt, beauty, forgiveness… it was ok to see it – broken bits and pieces that were once a cause for shame were now exposed, and he loved himself anyway.

Sam rubbed their backs three times each. Mercedes finally stopped trembling and was still, his baby could ride an orgasm to kingdom come. He laughed out loud. Finn kissed his shoulder.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I'm just happy."

"Me too. Did I hurt you at all?"

"I'm sore, but I'll be ok. Don't worry Finn, I feel really good right now."

Finn kissed him once more and rolled off of him, his stomach coated with Sam's cum. He took a few tissues from the nightstand and wiped off his belly. When he was finished, he asked Sam to switch places with Mercedes.

"Come here, angel," Finn said, "I want to hold you."

He kissed her lips and wrapped his massive arms around her. She looked so tiny compared to him. He truly was a giant, swallowing her up in his embrace.

"Finn?" Mercedes said as she snuggled against him.

"Yes?"

"I need… Could you…" she stumbled over her words because Finn was trying to kiss her again; he stopped and looked at her, finally understanding her unspoken request.

"You don't even have to ask. I need you too."

Finn urged her to turn around, so that they were in spoon position. He slipped inside her from behind, slowly pumping his hips as he moved within her, her breasts bounced with each thrust. Sam reached over and kissed them each on the forehead. He was too spent to do anything else, but he loved watching them, feeling them, and every now and then he would hold their hands or caress their faces. Finn lightly nipped Mercedes' shoulder as he continued the steady grind of his hips.

"You feel so good, Mercy, I want you to come for us again, can you do that, baby?"

Mercedes only moaned. Sam cupped her sex and pressed the heel of his hand against her clit while Finn slapped her plump ass a few times, causing it to jiggle; she was getting close and so was he. He took a firm hold of her waist.

"Almost there," he whispered.

Mercedes cried out as she and Finn came together, their bodies shaking in unison. Sam felt the vibrations from their orgasm, and hugged them closer, gripping their hands. After a few minutes, they calmed down, and Sam kissed them both again and again until he had to catch his breath, and he lay back on the pillow, as Finn pulled out of Mercedes and cleaned the both of them off. Even though Sam didn't participate, he felt it all, from every gasp of breath to the fluid movement of bodies being joined: a connection like souls colliding.

He reached over and rubbed Mercedes' behind, silently admiring the full, rounded cheeks and light brown stretch marks that extended across, her curvy bottom. She gave a contented sigh, kissed his cheek, and closed her eyes in exhaustion. Then Sam stroked Finn's harder, muscular ass with its large purple birthmark on his left butt cheek. He traced the oddly shaped mark and burst into giggles. Finn was drifting off to sleep, curled into Mercedes' back, and his eyes flew open at the sound of Sam's laughter.

"Ok, what is it?" Finn asked, a small smile on his lips, "is there something wrong with my ass?"

"Nothing, I just realized your birthmark is in the shape of Italy. I always knew it reminded me of something."

"Babe, I think you need some sleep. It's just a purple blob. Rachel said I should try laser removal."

"I love it," Sam said as he squeezed his butt cheek, "Don't get it removed."

Mercedes turned around and looked at the mark.

"Oh my goodness, Sam, you're right! It is Italy," she turned to Finn, "When did Rachel see your naked behind? I thought you guys never slept together."

"We did other stuff. Nothing major. Anyway, I'm glad I wasn't her first."

Mercedes sat up in the bed.

"Hmmm, well, it was major enough for her to see your ass."

Finn rolled his eyes.

"Mercedes, I can't believe you would be jealous of Miss Rachel 'I Should Be Committed' Berry. She's crazy as fuck. I could never enjoy her body because all she ever wanted me to do was tell her that she was better than Quinn," Finn then imitated Rachel's voice, 'Are my breasts bigger than Quinn's? Is my skin smoother than Quinn's?' It drove me insane."

Mercedes folded her arms, and Sam saw the anger in her eyes. He tried to diffuse the situation.

"Why don't we go swimming after breakfast?" It's such a gorgeous day and –"

Mercedes shook her head and held up her hand.

"What exactly did you two do?"

"Mercy, she's my past. You and Sam are my present, and God willing, my future."

"You didn't answer my question."

Finn threw up his hands.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing! I just find it interesting that you won't answer the question."

"Come on you two, let's just calm down, no use digging up old shit," Sam said as he squeezed their hands, "We just had an incredible experience together. Let's not ruin it."

"I'm not trying to ruin anything. I just want to know," Mercedes said.

"Ok, if you must know what we did. Here goes," Finn ran his hands through his hair, "Sometimes she wanted to see me naked, but she kept her underwear on. Then she worried that I was too big and might crush her if I was ever on top and she touched me like she was a doctor and I was her patient. She poked and prodded. Nothing gentle about it."

"That sounds awful," Sam said, reaching over and stroking his thigh, "The best part about us is the touching. She missed out on how wonderful that can be."

Mercedes looked down at her hands, her anger slowly dissolving.

"Sam's right. I can't imagine having someone I love treat me like a science project. Why did you stay with her?"

"Because we shared a bond and she wasn't always like that. I admit that part of me felt sorry for her. Did you want to hear about the other stuff?"

"Only if you want to tell us," Mercedes said and kissed him, "It's your past."

"Now that I've started, I actually want to talk about it," he turned to Sam, "Hey, what's that word Dr. Rosa told you when you let stuff out and you feel better after you're done?"

"Cathartic."

Finn smiled. "Cathartic. Yes, that's right. Telling this stuff is cathartic. You wouldn't believe how many times I wanted to walk away, but that crazy love kept pulling me back, you know like a bad habit or something. She was so alone. I protected her," Finn stopped speaking and just closed his eyes for a moment, and then he continued, "Once I convinced her to jerk me off and that was a disaster especially when I came on her hand and it got on her silk sheets. She jumped and started waving her hands around, crying about germs and dry cleaning bills. It's like she wanted to connect on that level but couldn't. Kissing was fine but the other stuff used to scare her. Anyway, she hated my birthmark because it reminded her of a wine stain on the carpet. And I remember another time that she asked me to go down on her because she had just seen an episode of Sex and the City and wanted to try it. This time she was naked, and I only had my shirt off, and do you know what she did when I was done?"

"No, what?" Sam asked, leaning closer.

"She asked me if Quinn was waxed or natural, in her nether regions. I had no idea what nether regions were and she got mad because she had to explain it to me!"

Mercedes chuckled and soon the three of them were laughing so hard that they cried. When they were able to speak again, Finn said:

"Mercy, what's this really all about?"

"I'm sorry I jumped on you. It's just that you always made it seem like you guys had this chaste relationship, so I was surprised that you did stuff. You two were Finchel for crying out loud. You were like Kelly and Zack or Joanie and Chachi - a McKinley golden couple. That's a tough act to follow. What kept me sane is that after you began to let your guard down; we shared so much both physically and emotionally. But when you said that you were intimate with her, it wasn't so special anymore. I know it's crazy. But that's why I reacted the way I did."

Finn held her face in his hands.

"Who am I with right now? You and Sam are all I need. Finchel was a really fucked up relationship that's dead. Being with you two made me realize what true love really is. Don't get me wrong, Rachel and I were in love, but it wasn't healthy, at least not for me. And I have a confession to make."

"What's that?"

"The only thing that got me through going down on Rachel was that I pretended she was you," Finn said and he slipped his hand between her thighs, "I pictured you with your legs open wide, and my face pressed against this sweet pussy," his fingers glided along her slick channel, "Rachel's olive skin became a rich brown, her skinny thighs became soft, plush pillows, and her whiny voice became an angel's song, and that's how I made it until she bit into her fist when she came."

Finn withdrew his hand, and placed it in front of Sam's mouth, and he eagerly licked off all of her juices. Mercedes sat there in a daze.

"I can't believe it, I mean, you didn't even know me very well then. How could you fantasize about me?"

Finn kissed her lips while Sam fondled her breasts.

"To Sir With Love. Remember our duet?"

She nodded. Finn put his arm around her.

"That's when I started liking you."

"Wow, for that long?"

"Yes and I have a question."

"Sure, what is it?" she said, smiling up at him.

"Who are Joanie and Chachi and Kelly and Zack?"

Mercedes laughed. "Don't ever change, Finn. We'll watch TV Land tonight so you can see them."

"I'm not surprised he liked you for so long," Sam said and drew them in a hug, "You're amazing Cedes. And both of us know it. The ones that can't see it are missing out."

The trio began a hot make-out session, much to Sam's delight. He loved the battle of tongues, and holding his lovers close. He gazed at their nude bodies in the morning sunshine, and saw their secrets and vulnerabilities. The slight crease in the middle of Mercedes' bottom lip was where she always bit down when she was nervous or scared; the slightly raised bump on her right breast was from her bout with chicken pox, and she loved that spot because when she sick, it was one of the few times her mother actually hugged her. Sam cried when she told him about it as they sat in her backyard with the fireflies dancing around them, and he kissed the scar every chance he got, hoping it reached all those empty places inside her, filling her up with much needed love.

The freckles on Finn's nose got lighter in the summertime, and you had to be extremely close to see them. After the Rachel disaster, Finn wasn't sure if anybody should get that close again, yet he let Sam in and when he opened his arms on that fateful afternoon, with the last wall crumbling between them, Sam held him tight and counted each freckle as they lay curled together on his bed. Then there was the burn scar on Finn's wrist, he got it trying to make his mother homemade chicken noodle soup because he wanted to take away the pain of breast cancer, and a mountain of medical bills they couldn't pay; but he almost burned down the house instead, and every time Sam looked at the reddish mark, he pictured Finn in a smoky kitchen scrapping noodles off the stove, and was once again reminded of what a truly loving person his boyfriend was.

Sam was grateful that Finn and Mercedes never said anything about the scars on his back, or asked him why his left pinky was a tad crooked. Instead they marveled at his body, and claimed spots of their own to love. Mercedes was forever stroking his muscular arms, her small brown hands brushing against the faint blonde hair on his biceps. Finn often gave Sam's belly sweet, feather light kisses, or sometimes he would simply rest his head there like small child seeking comfort, and Sam would caress his dark head as the three watched movies together in Mercedes' living room. It was during those times that Sam pretended they were married and that their children were upstairs sleeping.

As he nuzzled Mercedes' neck, he looked up and saw three butterflies fly into the bedroom from the open window: one blue, one orange and one yellow; they flitted about, hovering over the bed. Mercedes reached up, and the orange one landed on her hand. She smiled and laughed.

"It tickles."

The blue butterfly sat on Finn's shoulder, and the yellow one landed on Sam's arm.

"This is weird but nice," he said looking down at the butterfly, "They just came out of nowhere."

"The yellow one goes good with your hair, Sam" Finn said, in a teasing manner.

"Your brother is rubbing off on you."

Mercedes grew quiet as she stared at the orange creature perched on her hand; her eyes seemed to be searching for something.

"Cedes, you ok?" Sam asked.

She sighed. "I'm fine. I'm just thinking about my father."

"Oh, does he like butterflies?"

"Yeah he does. But when I was a little girl I was afraid of them."

"Really, why?"

"Who knows? My Dad thought it was crazy that I was scared of butterflies so he held one in front of me one day and told me to focus on its beauty - the pretty colors and delicate wings. It worked because I stopped being afraid. After that, we would catch butterflies together. He said they stayed beautiful because we always set them free," Mercedes' eyes got misty and she continued, "The first time he left my mother he came into my room that morning and told me that she had to be let go like a butterfly. He said she couldn't be free with him. I knew it was bullshit. She pushed him away, like she always does. That afternoon I caught a few butterflies with my net and put them in a glass jar. I wasn't going to let them out. The next day they were dead. My mother said I should've known better. I felt horrible. I still don't know why I did it; I guess I wanted to prove him wrong, make him see that you can hold onto something and it will stay beautiful. He came back six months later, but things were different and I gave my net away. But looking at butterflies still makes me happy, does that make sense?"

Sam kissed her cheek.

"It's a shame that your relationship fell apart."

Mercedes held the butterfly closer to her face and smiled.

"Yeah, but at least I got a small part of him."

"I never really looked at butterflies before," Finn said,

"it always seemed so girly like pink princess parties and glitter pens, but they are pretty."

They were quiet for a while, lost in their own thoughts, until Sam heard the unmistakable growl of Finn's stomach. Finn blushed and Sam kissed him.

"Ok, who else is hungry?" Sam asked.

"I'm hungry," Mercedes said, standing up, she cradled the butterfly in her hand. "We should let the butterflies go and then get something to eat." She was walking toward the window, when Sam stopped her.

"Cedes, as beautiful as your body is, I don't think standing naked near an open window is a good idea."

"Oh, God! I wasn't even thinking," she said.

The butterfly flew out of her hand and landed on the windowsill. Then the other two did the same. They just sat there, as the sunlight shined on their gossamer wings.

"Let's all shower and I can make breakfast," Sam said, "What do you think Blaine and Kurt will want to eat?"

Mercedes yawned and stretched her arms.

"Sam, you don't have to cook breakfast for everyone. Relax and enjoy yourself. You always work so hard. I can cook. I don't mind."

"She's right, you know," Finn said, "You outdid yourself with our birthday party yesterday, "let us return the favor."

At that moment, someone knocked on the bedroom door.

"Are you guys decent? I want to come in and talk to you. It's really important," Blaine said.

"Hold on," Finn said, struggling to sit up.

He and Sam put on their boxers and Mercedes slipped on her nightgown. "Come on in, Blaine," she said.

Blaine walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. He wore a blue terrycloth bathrobe and his dark hair was wet. He smelled like Chrome body wash.

"What took you guys so long? Hiding the whips and chains?" he said with a little smirk, clasping his hands in front of him. Sam noticed that Blaine's hands were perfectly manicured; there were no chewed fingernails or torn cuticles, just smooth pale fingers. He wondered if Blaine ever did any manual labor besides folding shirts or clipping on one of his many bowties.

"Very funny," Finn said, "What did you have to talk to us about?"

"Ok, I get that you three are in love, but the walls are not as thick as you think, we heard you all the way down the hall last night. If I didn't know better I would think Mercedes was being tortured."

"Trust me, those were happy screams," Mercedes said, "Sorry if we were loud, it's just that so much has happened and…"

Blaine held up his hand.

"No need to explain. I get it. Sometimes I wish Kurt would let go more," he stared off into space for a moment and said, "Anyway, I do have some good news. My parents aren't coming."

"How is that good?" Sam asked as he put his arm around Mercedes.

"Because I don't have to deal with my father who insists that I'm straight."

"I thought they knew about you and Kurt," Finn said.

Blaine sighed and nodded.

"They do. They met Kurt and everything. This weekend was supposed to be about them getting to know us better as a couple, but I'm glad they're not coming. I spoke to my father this morning and he said they had to cancel because things got busy at the office and mom is just busy with whatever it is she does, and he also told me that he found a great gay to straight camp in New York. He was like, 'Kurt seems nice but there is a straight boy inside of you trying to get out.' Can you believe that? It's so confusing. On the one hand, he has no problem with me being here with Kurt alone, yet he wants to make me straight. I don't know. The whole thing is crazy."

"What do they do at a gay to straight camp?" Sam asked, "It sounds weird."

"That's because it is weird and completely ridiculous. You go through these different exercises to overcome your attraction to the same sex. My father wants me to go to one called Manhood Journey. I can only imagine what that place is like. Not everybody is like Burt. Kurt is a lucky guy. I knew from the time I was in kindergarten that I liked boys. My first crush was on a boy who was on the soccer team with me. I remember being upset because he didn't give me a Valentine."

"What about your Mom?" Mercedes asked.

"She's trying but she always wanted me with a woman who looked like Quinn. And I would live her ideal life with a big house in the suburbs, corporate job, and curly haired babies for her to spoil. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't have kids. Adoption is an option. And no, Kurt isn't a classic blond beauty but he's still beautiful to me. People see what they want to see, and when you show them a different picture it upsets them."

Finn got up and sat next to Blaine at the foot of the bed; he put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"Dude, that sucks. I hope one day your parents will understand."

"I hope so too. How about you guys? How are you dealing with your families?" He gestured toward Sam and Mercedes.

Sam fidgeted about on the bed; his hands suddenly felt clammy. The mere thought of his parents knowing made him uneasy, but he would have to face it sooner rather than later. He glanced at Mercedes who only shrugged and said:

"My parents don't know yet. I'm telling them when they get back from Kenya."

Blaine's mouth dropped open.

"Wow, really? I thought they would have known by now."

"I know. I don't have much of a relationship with them. They're gone a lot."

Sam hugged her to his side. He could tell by the slight quiver in her voice that she was getting upset, so he changed the subject.

"What do you and Kurt want to do for breakfast?"

Blaine narrowed his eyes and said, "Kurt wants to go the Farmer's Market. We can eat there. I have no idea why he wants to go, something about soaking up the local flavor. Oh, I want to warn you guys that this town is full of hicks. I usually just hang out here at the house. I don't go into town much."

"So are you saying no PDA?" Sam asked.

"I'm just saying watch your back. I think people are more backwards here than in Lima. Don't get me wrong, not everyone is close-minded, but I like to keep my guard up, you know what I mean?"

"We understand. But ignorant people are everywhere. We just have to give people the benefit of the doubt," Mercedes said as she laid her head on Sam's shoulder, "And besides I like going to the Farmer's Market, we used to go all the time when we visited my relatives in Louisiana, and the food was always good."

"Well our lady has spoken, so the Farmer's Market it is," Finn said, "what time did you guys want to go?"

"How about in an hour?" Blaine said as he looked over at the windowsill, "I can't believe those butterflies are just sitting there like that. They never come into this room."

Finn stood up and stretched, his extra belly fat, hung over the top of his boxers.

"You mean butterflies always fly into the other bedrooms?"

"Yeah, I meant to tell you all about that. We opened our bedroom window too and Kurt woke up with one on his forehead. Freaked him out," Blaine laughed then said, "When my great-grandparents built this place back in the 20s, they planted gardens to attract butterflies because my great-grandmother loved them. This was their room. Every morning she waited for them to fly to the balcony but they never came; they went to every other room except this one. My mother said it was because she was in love with another man and was torn between him and my great-grandfather."

"So what happened?" Mercedes said, pulling the sheet up around her waist.

"She spent the rest of her life loving two men even though she married my great-grandfather. They were never happy.

He could never accept that part of her heart belonged to someone else, but he loved her so he stayed."

Sam glanced over at the windowsill where the butterflies sat as if watching over them.

"I guess we broke the curse."

"Looks like you did. If you believe in that sort of thing.

You know I was going to give you guys a grand tour, but you barely made it inside and just hightailed it to the bedroom."

"We're sorry," Finn said, "We just really needed each other."

"Don't worry about it," he then poked Finn's stomach, "A little too much birthday cake?"

Finn turned red and sucked in his gut. Sam knew that Blaine meant no harm, and it was just good-natured teasing, yet it still pissed him off. Finn looked ashamed, and Sam felt for him, he opened up his mouth to say something, but Finn intervened and said:

"Blaine, don't forget your hair gel. It's gonna be humid today. We wouldn't want another prom incident."

Blaine cleared his throat and gave a nervous laugh.

"Um, yeah, ok. Well, I'll see you guys in an hour." He got up and walked out of the room.

"See you soon," Sam called after him.

Finn got on the bed and crawled over to Sam, kissing him on the lips.

"Thank you for almost sticking up for me."

Sam nodded. "I could tell it hurt you."

"How?"

"Babe, your eyes always give you away."

Finn smiled and leaned over, pulling them into a hug, and giving them each a kiss. "I love you," he whispered in their ears.

Sam let himself get lost in their kisses and tight embrace. There never seemed to be enough, the more he had, the more he wanted. It was Mercedes who broke the spell when she grabbed their hands and tried to pull them off the bed.

"Come on, let's shower. We don't have much time."

"Now, Future Wife, you know we have to carry you," Sam said scooping her up. Mercedes laughed in his arms. Finn opened the bathroom door and started the shower. As they helped her undress, Sam tied the long white gown on her head the way he saw her fix the satin head scarf she often wore to bed. The lacy train extended down her back.

"Your veil."

She looked up at him.

"And what about a dress?"

"Don't need it, sugar, Adam and Eve were married in the buff."

Finn kissed her shoulder.

"I'm going to have to read the bible someday. But I'm sure a serpent screwed things up."

They wrapped their arms around her waist and stood in front of the large, gold-framed mirror, staring at their reflection. Finn towered over them, his hazel eyes kind and loving, and even with the bruises, there was a certain beauty to his husky frame, reminding Sam of the mythological god Atlas, though it wasn't the world he carried on his broad shoulders, it was only the burdens of his loved ones when the load was too heavy for them carry alone; his noble heart never faltered.

Mercedes in her makeshift wedding veil was all curves and softness, warmth from the cold, her body dipped in a brown satin finish, her small hands were nurturing and firm, and her dark eyes saw everything - their jagged edges and broken hearts but she loved them anyway, because underneath the shattered glass, she saw what was good and reminded them of it when they were trapped in darkness.

And then there was Sam, the pale blonde with green eyes that cried too many tears, but now had new hope and joy because of the boy and girl beside him, his plump lips were kiss bitten and his callused hands looked like those of a farmer, rough and worn, sunburn peeling between his fingers; his hands threw angry punches at anyone who dared to hurt his family, played soulful melodies on his guitar, and held his loves in a tender embrace when shutting out the world.

"This is my kind of perfect," Sam said.

They each shared a kiss with one another and Finn removed Mercedes' veil, picked her up, and carried her toward the shower.

Once they closed the frosted glass door, Sam needed to be inside Mercedes and feel her tight heat wrapped around him. The warm shower spray trickled down her chest, either disappearing into her cleavage, or clinging to her large nipples. He lifted one of her breasts and licked it slowly, carefully circling the areola and then slipping the nipple between his lips, gently sucking the water off of her skin. After a few moments, he pulled away, and stared into her eyes. She understood what he wanted, and she backed against the marble wall, opening her legs. He smiled and kissed her, his tongue reaching far into her mouth, he rubbed his erection against her, loving the way she responded to his slow teasing by writhing about in his arms and panting.

"Please…" Mercedes said, "Now."

Sam felt Finn pressed against his back as he reached around and stroked Sam's hard cock, and then guided him inside Mercedes. She fit so well around his cock, stretching to accommodate his length. As Sam sank himself deeper inside her, Finn gripped his hips and moved with each thrust, but he dared not enter Sam again, because it was too soon. Instead he wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing and biting his neck, and occasionally tugging on his long, blonde hair. Mercedes' eyes never left theirs as she cried and moaned in pleasure or "sweet torture" as she liked to call it; once she said that it was like never getting enough air. Sam felt her heart beating faster as she was getting closer and closer…

Until there was nothing left except cold water spraying on their bodies as the three clung to each other, completely undone.

* * *

**_Princesses, Pumpkins, and Crazy Mothers _**

"You know we're going to be late. You don't have to do this," Mercedes said as Sam gently placed her in the middle of the bed. After their very long shower, her boyfriends were determined to rub her down with her favorite cocoa butter lotion. They spoiled her so much that she wondered if one day she would wake up and realize the entire relationship was just a vivid dream.

"Kurt is always fashionably late," Finn said as he pulled the lotion out of her duffel bag, "He's probably still trying to decide what shoes to wear. Now, take off your bathrobe."

Before she could untie the belt, Sam beat her to it, quickly pushing the robe off her shoulders. He stood back and just stared at her. Mercedes leaned back, opening her legs slightly, her eyes never leaving his.

"Damn, Cedes," Sam breathed, "You just... I can't even..."

"You act like you're seeing me for the first time. You've seen me naked before."

"But this is different," Sam said, coming closer and touching her knee, "You're glowing." Mercedes held his hand.

"If we had more time, I would do something naughty."

"Yeah, like what?" Finn asked, sitting down beside her.

"I can't tell you now. Besides, I don't want ashy skin, so you boys better get started," she said giving them each a kiss on the cheek, lying back, she licked her lips, smiling at them.

So they began to rub the thick, fragrant lotion onto her skin, they started with her feet and slowly worked their way up, taking their time to fondle and massage each part of her.

"You feel a little tight here," Finn said squeezing her calf.

"Really? That must mean my morning routine is working."

"What morning routine?" Sam asked as he poured lotion onto her thigh, "Have you been exercising?"

"Yes. Don't worry. It's not anything too strenuous. Remember we talked about me getting healthier."

Sam rubbed the lotion onto her thigh, using slow circular strokes, causing her to feel a tingling arousal between her legs. She breathed deep and tried to keep her composure. Sam was oblivious as he continued upward, tracing the lovely curve of her wide hip.

"Next time, you do this routine of yours, we should be there."

"Oh, please, I told you I wasn't doing anything hard. Why do you need to be there?"

"Because we can help you with your form," Finn said kissing her forehead, "we have to train in football you know. And I don't think you've been stretching."

She looked up at him.

"How can you tell?"

Finn shrugged.

"By how your muscles feel," he put his hand on her stomach and spread lotion on her skin, "How come I never see you do your routine? We live in the same house."

"Because it's simple floor exercises I do early in the morning with the bedroom door closed."

"Keeping secrets," Sam said lightly tweaking her nipple.

Mercedes sat up.

"Not really."

Sam looked at her, and Mercedes waited for him to say something else, the way he always did when it came to her weight, but instead he only said: "Lie back and turn over. We're still not done."

Mercedes nodded and rolled over onto her stomach. She closed her eyes as their big hands roamed all over her backside. Finn's hands were smoother while Sam's had a roughness to them, but they both felt amazing as far as Mercedes was concerned. Between rubs and caresses, she felt their lips on her skin, just quick little kisses, that made her wish that they could stay in the room the rest of the day making love. All too soon, the massage session was over and they lay on either side of her, kissing her and touching her face.

"So did we do ok?" Finn asked.

"Better than ok. It was fantastic – almost too good!"

Sam grabbed her hand and helped her sit up.

"Now, we need to get you dressed, darlin."

"I'm not six years old. I think I can dress myself," Mercedes said laughing. She got up from the bed and walked over to her suitcase sitting beside the dresser. She unzipped it with the intention of getting her hair supplies and underwear but saw something else. She pulled out a bright red bra and thong. In fact all of her usual underwear was gone and replaced with more risqué styles. There were bikini cut zebra print panties, a gold sheer bra; even a leather ensemble she was sure that Finn probably picked out.

"Surprise!" Finn said, "We got something else for you!"

Mercedes stared at the sexy underwear that she felt was reserved for airbrushed models in Victoria's Secret catalogs.

"Guys, this is all great but – "

"You don't like it?" Sam said, his voice suddenly small and sad, "We thought that it would be nice for you to wear really sexy underwear ever since we acted out your fantasy."

Mercedes thought back to that day when they spanked her naked ass in a gazebo in broad daylight, surrounded by azaleas. She instantly grew wet and pressed her thighs together.

"No, don't get me wrong, I like it. I just think, well, I don't know. I'm not used to this."

Sam stood up and walked over to her, his nude body so taut and supple with its perfect muscles and tight behind. He had no clue, none at all, at how beautiful he was, and he just took it for granted. Mercedes sighed as she stared at him. Sam hugged her.

"I know what you're going to say and before you do, just hear me out. You have two guys who love you very much. Everything about you is sexy from that gorgeous smile, to that gentle sway of your hips when you're walking down the hall, to your pretty little toes painted bright pink. Don't say you're not used to this because you are _this._

Mercedes kissed him and soon Finn was beside her and she kissed him too.

"Thank you for my surprise gift."

"So you'll wear it?" Finn asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Yes, baby, I will."

"Ok, well today we want you to wear the red bra and panties," Sam said.

"Oh you do? And I don't get a say in this?"

Sam shook his head.

"Nope, now I'll put on the bra and Finn will help you with the panties."

Mercedes put her hands on her hips and laughed. There was no stopping Mr. Stubborn so she decided to play along. Finn unhooked the bra and handed it to him. Sam squeezed Mercedes breasts a few times, taking handfuls of flesh into his hands and the wetness grew between her thighs. As she became more aroused, Sam stopped what he was doing and turned her around slipping the straps over her arms and onto her shoulders and fastening the many hooks in the back. He adjusted the straps until it fit just right. Then he examined the cups making sure they fit properly, his hands stroking her mounds through the satin and lace. Finn came forward with the red thong, she stepped into the panties and he pulled them up her legs. The fabric covered her crotch while the rest of her ass was exposed, save for the red cord between her butt cheeks. Finn rubbed her ass and then he got on his knees and kissed each cheek before standing again.

As their eyes roamed over her body, something stirred within her, she wasn't sure what it was, but it was like a secret power had been found, and now she had the courage

to unleash it. She struck a pose, pushing her breasts forward, and pretended that her portrait was being painted; but unlike the cold, stiff rendition of her mother that hung in the dining room, her painting would be open and warm with softer hues, she liked the idea just showing the world who she was underneath.

"You were glowing before, but now you just shine, sweetheart, go look at yourself in the mirror, girl," Sam said, with his southern accent slipping in.

She stood in front of the mirror and agreed that she indeed shined. Suddenly, her phone rang; she picked it up off the dresser and saw it was her mother. Her heart dropped.

"Hi Mom," she said trying to sound cheerful.

Her mother didn't answer at first, instead there was a rustling noise and then what sounded like a party going on in the background, after a few seconds, her mother finally responded:

"Hello dear, how are you?"

Before she could answer, her mother charged on. "Well, I'm calling to let you know I have some very exciting news, are you sitting down?"

"No," Mercedes said, "What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Sit down, first, and don't just stand there because you know I can tell when you are lying, so go on I don't have much time."

Mercedes sat on the bed. Sam and Finn looked at each other with worried glances and sat on either side of her, wrapping their arms around her.

"Mom, I'm sitting down. Now what is it?"

"We're going to meet the President and First Lady!"

"What? Why?"

"Your father and I will receive a humanitarian award for all of the work we've been doing here in Kenya, and in the states, isn't that great? It's not just us of course. They will be honoring lots of people in the medical community. We're in my office now celebrating we invited some of our colleagues over for a last minute party," she laughed and said, "So that's the big news. Anyway, it will be a formal affair, so I hope you lost weight. I don't want to waste time trying to find a suitable dress at your size. That may take forever…"

Mercedes' mind drifted to when she was 8 years old.

**ooo**

_"The last thing you need are Hershey's kisses, her mother said, snatching the bag of candy from her, she then opened her purse and pulled out a multi-colored chart, "Look at your weight chart, she said pointing to a bright red square, "You're in a danger zone. When we get home you will ride your bike for 20 minutes and maybe you can have an apple and some yogurt."_

_Mercedes stood in the middle of the candy aisle at Party Town. It was Halloween. Orange and black crepe paper was draped across the shelves and plastic skeletons hung from the ceiling. She followed her mother, who was busy chatting on her cell phone, to the costume section of the store. Mercedes shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans as they hurried past the plastic spiders and glow in the dark Grim Reaper masks. The Monster Mash played in the background and Mercedes sang along to take her mind off the candy. Now the entire store smelled like chocolate to her. _

_Kids were running around the store, and all of the staff wore goofy costumes. She wanted to cry but knew it was useless. A clerk dressed like Frankenstein was handing out rubber spiders to the kids, and Mercedes took one, secretly wishing it was a Hershey's Kiss instead. When they got to the costume section, Mercedes saw just what she wanted: a purple fairy princess costume with a glittering magic wand. The skirt was full and puffed out with layers of tulle, it reminded her of a dream. She __**wanted**__ it. As her mother ended her call, Mercedes raced over to the dress, took it off the rack and held it up. There was only one left._

_"I want this one."_

_Her mother looked at the dress for a moment and then took it from her. Before she could say anything, Mercedes said:_

_"It's my size."_

_"How do you know? You didn't even check."_

_"I just do. That's my costume."_

_Her mother shook her head, and checked the size._

_"It's too small."_

_"No it isn't."_

_"Yes it is."_

_"Let me try it on please. I'll show you. I want to wear it trick or treating!"_

_"Fine," her mother said, grabbing her hand. "Let's go to the dressing room. I hope it isn't crowded."_

_The dressing rooms were a disaster area. Screaming kids, exasperated mothers, and a store clerk wearing a Rainbow Afro wig and bell-bottom pants looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She barely acknowledged Mercedes and her mother as she unlocked the only available dressing room - which was filled with piles of masks, plastic swords, and discarded costumes._

_"Knock yourself out," the clerk mumbled and hurried away to tend to the next customer._

_Her mother closed the door and helped her out of her jeans and My Little Pony T-shirt. _

_"These jeans are snug," her mother said._

_Mercedes didn't say anything. She was already unzipping the dress and trying to pull it over her head, as she slid it over her body, the dress wouldn't go past her hips. Hot tears filled her eyes, but she was determined. That dress was meant for her. She tugged and pulled._

_"Stop it! You'll tear it! I knew it was too small," her mother pulled it off of her._

_"Maybe they have my size in the back," Mercedes said hopefully, "Maybe we can order one and –"_

_"Hush! You know this is the only one left. They don't make dresses like this for your size. Stop crying. I've told you a million times that your weight will only hurt you. Now look at you," she said, shoving Mercedes in front of the mirror, "just look at yourself."_

_Mercedes refused to meet her reflection. She stomped her foot._

_"I hate you! This isn't fair!"_

_Her mother gave a cheerless laugh and said, "Life is never fair, and hating me won't change that."_

_She helped Mercedes get dressed again and they quickly stepped out of the fitting room. As they were handing the dress to the clerk, Quinn Fabray and her mother came walking over to the counter._

_"Mommy, that's the costume I want!" She grabbed it from the clerk._

_Mrs. Fabray looked tired, dark circles were under her gray eyes and her hair was slightly messy. A big diamond ring sparkled on her hand. She smiled at Mercedes and her mother._

_"Hello ladies, a nice surprise running into you two. This is the fifth store we have been to, ever since Quinn saw her cousin with that costume, she's been wanting it." _

_Even at 8 years old, Quinn was beautiful, her long blonde hair hung down her back in soft waves and she had on a wool leggings and an oversized green sweater._

_Quinn clutched the dress to her chest. She smirked at Mercedes and said:_

_"You had to put it back cause it didn't fit, didn't you?"_

_"I don't want it. I hate purple!"_

_"Liar. Everybody knows you love purple. Well, this costume is mine now and I'm going to look pretty in it."_

_"Quinn, that's quite enough!" Mrs. Fabray said, she turned to Mercedes mother, "I'm sorry, Dr. Jones. You'll have to excuse my daughter; she's been under a lot of stress lately." _

_"That's ok. We all know how children can be."_

_Mrs. Fabray looked down at Quinn, "Apologize, to Mercedes, young lady or you won't be getting that costume."_

_Quinn huffed but she said, "I'm sorry." Her eyes were cold and Mercedes knew she didn't mean it at all._

_Suddenly, they saw Finn lumbering over to them, holding a pirate costume and wearing a goofy grin, his braces shined under the fluorescent light._

_"Hey Quinn, Hey Mercedes!" His gaze lingered on Quinn. "I'm going to be a pirate!"_

_"I'm going to be a princess," Quinn said smiling, batting her eyelashes, "you should change your costume and be my prince."_

_"I want to be a pirate and find sunken treasure, princesses like pirates too, don't they?"_

_"Maybe," she said, still smiling her signature Quinn smile, the same one she used years later when all the boys pined after her in high school._

_Finn grinned at Mercedes._

_"What are you going to be?"_

_"Well I –"_

_Before she could finish answering him, her mother was pulling her away, "Come along, we have to go. I just got an emergency call from the hospital."_

_"Good-bye, Dr. Jones," Mrs. Fabray said, and Mercedes' mother gave a half-hearted wave as they left the store._

_After that fiasco, the only costumes left were big, ugly pumpkins, and Mercedes decided to forego trick or treating and bobbing for apples at the community Halloween party. Instead she pretended to be sick and stayed in her room, eating microwave popcorn and watching a Goosebumps marathon on cable while pretending nothing hurt when everything did. _

_Years later when she asked Quinn if she remembered the incident, Quinn said that she didn't, but she apologized again, admitting that she was often a little snot-face when she was a kid. They laughed together, and Quinn said she was beautiful, but Mercedes knew that somehow Quinn would always be the princess while she had to settle for being a pumpkin._

**ooo**

"…And the thought of going to Katherine's doesn't appeal to me much; I'm not crazy about their clothes, are you still there, hello?"

Mercedes snapped out of her reverie.

"I'm still here and I've lost weight," Mercedes said, biting her lip, to calm her nerves, "Almost 15 pounds and my clothes are loose."

"Is that all?"

"Aren't you proud of me?" Mercedes was crying now, "I'm getting smaller just like you asked me to."

"Fifteen pounds is hardly anything to celebrate. Especially at your size, and you know how Michelle Obama is trying to get America healthy," her mother sighed as if she were fed up with the situation.

"Mom, listen, I don't look as big. I really don't and –"

"Give me the phone," Sam said.

"What, no, I can't just –"

"Who's there?" her mother asked, "Do you have somebody in the house with you? Is it a boy? It sounds like a boy."

"No. Yes. Well, two boys actually, and I'm in Kentucky."

"Cedes, give me the phone!"

Mercedes knew Sam was only trying to protect her, but for some reason, she was unable to let go, so she sat there with a numbness spreading throughout her body. She didn't say anything for several seconds and when she found her voice, it sounded hollow and frail:

"Mom, I had a birthday party yesterday and I got lots of gifts."

"Your birthday? What the hell are you talking about? Why are you in Kentucky with a couple of boys?"

Mercedes ignored her question. "I had a birthday party. I've never had one before. Do you know when my birthday is, Mom?"

"Listen here, I don't know why you're suddenly overcome with teenage rebellion, but I don't have time for it, understand? Now you need to explain yourself!"

"When is my birthday?"

"Stop testing me! Why are you in Kentucky? Whose house are you in? Let me speak to an adult. Are there any around?"

"Answer my question. When. Is. My. Birthday?"

Her mother began to unravel, her voice pained, her words hurtful.

"You will not disrespect me! How dare you? Run off to Kentucky with two boys without bothering to tell me

and then make demands, asking me ridiculous questions. You want to know when your birthday is? It's the day I smell smoke and a burning car engine, that's when your damned birthday is! Is that what you want me to celebrate? Your birthday is everyday she isn't here."

Sam snatched the phone from her while Finn hugged her close.

"Mrs. Jones, this is Sam Evans, one of Mercedes' boyfriends. Yes, you heard me right," he was silent for a moment, then said, "with all due respect ma'am, this is our business. I'm going to marry your daughter; you know the one you don't give two shits about? Do you know how many nights she cries herself to sleep in an empty house? Or that she has flashbacks of what you did… you know damn well what I'm talking about. I'm letting you know that I love her and so does Finn, and we can see her light even if you can't and we're going to take care of her. I have every right to say what I'm saying. I'm hanging up and when you're ready to talk to her without tearing her down, call back, but until then, leave her alone. She doesn't deserve any of it. Good bye."

Mercedes sat there shaking and crying with Finn and Sam holding her; she was grateful that they didn't say anything until she pulled herself together. She didn't know how long she cried, but when she stopped, she looked down at her birthday locket and smiled.

"I'm blessed," she said, "I still hurt but I got something special. I got a new day to be born. She can't change that, can she?"

"Only if you let her," Finn said.

"Come on, let's get dressed," Mercedes said, wiping her eyes."

Sam's eyes grew wide.

"You mean you want to go out?"

"Of course. I'm wearing sexy underwear; I feel beautiful and loved and my boyfriends are perfect. I'll cry some more later, yet right now I just want to enjoy myself."

They hugged and kissed her before getting dressed for their afternoon outing in town.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

**Summary: **Sam, Finn, and Mercedes continue to enjoy their time at Blaine's summerhouse. Sam has some family drama brewing. Finn reveals news that changes the nature of their threesome relationship.

**Warning:** Strong sexual content (mild bondage) Strong language.

**Author's Note:** I apologize for the infrequent updates. I tried to make up for it with a MEGA long chapter. I sincerely hope you enjoy it. This was difficult to write and I hoped that I conveyed all of the emotions I felt while writing it. This chapter is a combination of darkness, light, and fear.

* * *

_**WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED**_

Sam sat outside on the balcony waiting for Finn and Mercedes to finish getting ready. He stared at the lake for a while and then he decided to call Rosa because he wanted to tell her everything that happened. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and dialed her number. She answered on the second ring.

"Hello, Sam, is everything alright?" She sounded a little worried and Sam figured it was because he never called her, though she always encouraged it. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"Hi Rosa, don't worry, I'm fine. I just need to tell you some stuff and I didn't want to wait until our next appointment. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No, not at all. I just got back from grocery shopping. So what's on your mind?"

Sam settled back onto the chair and breathed deep. Where to begin? He hesitated for only a brief moment but then plunged into his story.

"Finn and I had sex."

"Oh, ok, how do you feel about that?"

"Good, well great actually, I mean all of us were so connected but before it actually happened, I talked to Reverend Barnes' ghost. I was in this weird place and I saw myself and please don't think I'm insane…"

"Sam, just slow down. I don't think you're insane. So, what's this about a ghost?"

"Right before we were about to make love, I heard Reverend Barnes' voice saying gross things to me, and then I was in his house and I saw myself lying on the floor, and everything changed but I got myself back."

"What did you say to yourself?"

"I – I told myself that I wasn't bad. I was bleeding and crying, and I whispered in his ear that I loved him. Finn and Mercedes were there the whole time holding my hand. Are you going to have to give me more medication?"

Rosa didn't answer him right away and Sam feared she was making plans to put him in a padded cell. He was relieved when he heard her speak.

"First off, it's understandable that Reverend Barnes made an appearance based on what happened. I'll be honest, I don't know how I feel about spirits or things of that nature, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that you faced a demon, a really big demon, and you love yourself, Sam. That's huge. You took back your power and I wish I was there to give you a hug because I am so proud of you!"

Sam felt tears trickle down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away and kept his eyes fixed on the lake.

"Thank you so much, Rosa. People usually aren't proud of me."

"Well, I'm very proud of you. Now, with everything that's happened, how do you feel about your relationship with Finn and Mercedes?"

Sam shifted in his chair.

"They got my heart. I ain't going anywhere and neither are they. Even if we break up, we'll still be together, if that makes sense."

"It makes sense. Anything else you want to talk about?"

"No, that's it. Thanks again for listening to me and being there for me."

"You're welcome, Sam. Now enjoy the rest of your trip!"

"I will. See you next week."

* * *

_**CHANTILLY LACE**_

Sam stood in the doorway and watched Mercedes as she adjusted the straps of her white sundress, and fluffed out her Afro. He smiled when she clutched her birthday locket and kissed it.

"You really meant it when you said you were never taking it off," he said as he walked over to her and reached for her hand. He loved her small hands and everyday he fantasized about a glittering diamond ring on her finger. If he could give her a million diamond rings he would. Sometimes when he couldn't fight off his nightmares, he would snuggle between her and Finn, and they wrapped him in their warmth, and it was during those times that his mind drifted to bands of gold and diamonds, and dreams of their future lives together. This kept him going, and lifted him from those dark places. Mercedes looked up at him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I'll be buried in it."

Sam got a mental flash of a casket and a dark funeral home and he shivered.

"Ok, that was morbid."

"Not really. It just means I'll die happy."

He pulled her closer to him, and held her tight, loving how her full breasts pressed against his chest.

"Why don't we -"

"No, Sam, we can't."

"You didn't even let me finish."

"I know what you want."

"And what's that?"

"You want to lock the door, take off my dress, drag Finn from the bathroom and make love again."

He kissed her neck.

"We could make it quick."

"Quick, my ass, you got that look about you."

"What look?"

Mercedes tried to pull away from him, but Sam held on tighter and began to tickle her.

"What look, Miss Jones?"

She struggled against him as he tickled her belly.

"You know what I'm talking about. Your eyes look really intense like you're hunting for something. My grandmother says when a man looks like that, he only wants one thing, and that's why nice girls should keep their legs closed. She called them fire eyes."

"Fire eyes, huh? Good thing you didn't listen to your Grandma," he turned to the bathroom door and called out, "babe, get out here!"

"I'll be out in a second," Finn said.

Sam tugged on the zipper of her sundress. Mercedes pinched his arm.

"Blaine and Kurt are waiting downstairs, now behave yourself."

"That hurt," he said and gave a little pout as he rubbed his bicep.

"Sorry, but I warned you."

The bathroom door opened and Finn walked out - all clean-shaven in a light brown shirt that brought out the hazel in his eyes and loose fitting jeans. He put his arms around Sam and Mercedes, giving them each a kiss.

"So what was all that commotion I heard?"

"Nothing, our boyfriend needs to keep his libido in check, that's all," Mercedes said.

"Well, you are looking all kinds of sexy in that dress. I can't say I blame him."

"Finn, I wasn't going for sexy, more like, flirty and innocent."

Mercedes broke free from their hold and twirled around as if to prove her point, the dress billowed out, revealing her bare legs. Sam licked his lips.

"You could be wearing a potato sack and still look sexy to us. Besides it doesn't help that we know what you got on underneath. You feelin' ok with the thong?"

"Yes, I didn't think I would, though."

Sam patted her bottom. He wasn't sure if he could keep his hands to himself once they got to the market. Mercedes stepped away from him.

"Behave."

He ignored her and touched her ass again, this time squeezing it.

"You sure you like it when I'm good?"

Her body responded and she moaned. Sam then kissed Finn, tasting his mint mouthwash.

"Lock the door," he said to him.

When he heard the clicking sound of the lock, Sam pushed Mercedes onto the bed, and then grabbed his backpack from off the floor. He rummaged around until found what he was looking for: three white lace scarves. Finn looked at him and grinned, nodding his head in approval.

"You remembered."

Mercedes scooted back on the bed, her dress hiking up her thighs. Sam sat down beside her and lifted her chin.

"Close your eyes."

Together he and Finn blindfolded her with one of the scarves and tied her wrists to the bedposts with the other two.

Sam sang in her ear: "Chantilly lace and a pretty face…" his southern roots came out in his voice and you could hear that small town Tennessee boy in each note.

Finn stroked her cheek.

"Mercy, you ok?"

"I'm fine. We don't have much –"

Before she could finish speaking, Finn kissed her. Her impulse was to wrap her arms around him as she normally did, but the lace restraints prevented this, so she squirmed about on the bed, as her dress moved up further, showing off her silky brown legs. Sam watched them for a moment, there was something about Mercedes being bound and blindfolded in delicate white lace that did things to him, he wasn't sure what it was, but it aroused him, like when she whispered his name in her sleep or when she licked the caramel sauce from her spoon whenever she had her favorite sundae, just small things like that, got him hard, and no amount of internet porn even came close.

He reached under her dress, and tugged on her panties pulling them down her legs. Next he untied the straps, exposing her heavy breasts encased in the lacy red bra. They rose and fell with each breath she took, he avoided touching them, knowing that's what she wanted. Instead he turned to Finn and said:

"Strip"

Finn broke the kiss, and he quickly removed his clothes. Sam pulled off her dress, leaving her bra on. He lowered his head and sucked on her plump nipple through the red lace, Mercedes moaned, arching her back.

"Take off my bra!"

"Why?" Sam asked, feigning ignorance as he continued to suckle her breast.

"I need to feel…"

"You mean you can't feel this?" He palmed one breast while nibbling on the other.

Finn got between her legs and slowly inched his cock into her slick opening; it was barely enough to satisfy Mercedes. She bucked her hips, urging him to go deeper inside her. Sam slapped her thigh.

"We set the pace."

Mercedes sighed in frustration, completely resigned to her fate. Finn began to pump his hips; with just enough force that set her on edge giving her a certain amount of pleasure, but not enough to fully go over the brink. Sam loved watching him move within her, he unzipped his jeans, freeing his hard cock; he stroked it a few times. Finn reached over and removed Sam's hand, replacing it with his own. As he thrust in and out of Mercedes, he jerked Sam off. Finn's huge hand felt so good, rubbing up and down his thick member, that he closed his eyes and groaned, tugging on Mercedes' soft hair, as she panted beneath Finn, begging for release.

"Shit, Finn, right there, stop teasing, oh fuck…"

The headboard knocked into the wall in a steady rhythm, and Sam couldn't help but wonder about Blaine's great-grandparents who made love in that very room before them. In his biased opinion, it couldn't have been more passionate than this, they probably held back, but there was no holding back with the three of them, they were all givers and to hold back would go against nature.

Sam was about to come, he opened his eyes, and nodded at Finn who let go of his cock and Sam came all over Mercedes' beautiful lace covered tits. As soon as his seed made contact with her skin, she cried out, and tugged on her restraints, trying to break free; Finn pounded into her, his face flushed. Nothing was sweeter to Sam than seeing his cum on her breasts as they jiggled, her nipples poking through the lace. He scooped up some of his cum with his fingers.

"Open your mouth."

She obeyed and she eagerly sucked the cum from his fingers. He imagined her sucking something else, and he suddenly felt Finn's hot mouth on his cock, and Sam came again, with Mercedes lips clamped on his fingers and Finn's lips wrapped around his shaft. It was such a sweet orgasm, and what made it even sweeter was that Finn began thrusting into Mercedes again, and she came even harder the second time, and in all the excitement she bit into his fingers, almost drawing blood, but the pain was good and Sam just felt it all.

After everyone had calmed down, Finn untied Mercedes wrists, which were slightly chafed and bruised from her constant tugging and pulling. They placed kisses on her wrists and then removed the blindfold. She immediately wrapped her arms around them.

"Wow, that was so intense and so, so –" she was at a loss for words.

"So fucking hot?" Finn said, kissing her lips.

Mercedes laughed.

"Yeah, something like that. Being blindfolded made me feel everything more."

"You weren't ever scared, were you?"

"Sam, how could you even ask that? I trust you both with my life. I liked how everything else was magnified, like I could smell you and feel you even better. It was awesome."

"Ok, baby, just checking."

"We better get cleaned up," Finn said.

Just then there was an extremely loud knock on the bedroom door.

"We know what you guys were doing. But I'm about to eat the furniture and there is no food in the house, so either you're coming with us or we're leaving without you!" Kirk said through the door.

They all laughed and kissed each other. Sam hugged them close and called out in response:

"Sorry, Kirk, we'll be down in a few minutes!"

After Kirk left, they washed up in the bathroom, changed Mercedes' underwear, and got each other off at least two more times. They finally emerged from the bedroom with passion bruised skin, bright eyes, and kiss bitten lips. Sam was in heaven. Life couldn't be sweeter.

* * *

_**ONCE THERE WAS A HUSH PUPPY**_

The first thing Mercedes noticed when they arrived at the Farmer's Market was the sweet, sharp aroma of fried lemon pies, reminding her of the Jones family reunions in Maryland when great Aunt Gertrude would always bring her famous lemon meringue pie. Sometimes she brought an extra pie for Mercedes because she knew that she loved it so much, but her mother said the last thing she needed was pie and dumped them in the trash.

As they walked toward the rows of booths set up in the public park, Sam and Finn stayed close to her; guiding her along, and every once in awhile they touched her shoulder or rubbed her back. Sam's hair was blowing in the afternoon breeze. Though he was smiling, his green eyes looked wary. Finn stroked her arm.

"What are you in the mood for?"

"Lemon pie."

"Yeah, they're pretty awesome. Those and the hushpuppies," Blaine said.

Kurt scrunched up his face.

"Sounds appetizing. Is there anything here that isn't fried or will clog my arteries?"

Mercedes looked over her shoulder and said, "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find something for you."

Smoke rose from the barbeque pits in the far corner of the park, filling the air with the distinct scent of mesquite pork and beef. A stage was set up in the center of the market. Blaine had mentioned that a band might be performing.

Mercedes also noticed that practically everyone wore red: red t-shirts, dresses, shorts, or simply a red handkerchief tied around their necks. Lots of children clutched red balloons in their chubby hands.

"What's up with everybody wearing red?" Mercedes asked.

"Oh, I forgot, today is Old Settlers Day," Blaine said, "it's a tradition to wear red today."

"Why?" Finn asked.

Blaine stopped to roll up the sleeves of his crisp white shirt. A tiny trickle of sweat made a trail down his cheek.

"To honor the founder of Star Pride. His favorite color was red."

There was a big sign near the entrance that said: Welcome to the Old Settler's Day Festival. Sam and Finn scanned the crowd as they continued to shield her. Blaine and Kurt left to go buy some hush puppies while the others went in search of pie. Every time Mercedes made eye contact with the locals, she smiled brightly and said hello.

"Hello, sir," she said to a middle aged man with a shaved head, wearing cut off shorts and a red Budweiser t-shirt.

At first he looked startled, but then he quickly recovered, and gave her a polite smile and nod before walking away.

"You're not this friendly in Lima," Sam said as they approached the fried pie booth.

"There's no harm in being friendly. Besides I'm in a good mood."

"And why is that?"

She looked up at him and smiled.

"I don't know. You tell me."

Sam gazed down at her.

"I think I have a good idea."

"Me too," Finn said.

Just then the teenage girl behind the counter cleared her throat as she cracked her gum; she was whisper thin, and she wore a bright red baseball cap with Martha's Fried Pies written across the front. Her face was shiny with sweat and a small rose tattoo was just above her collarbone. She stared at Sam, her small gray eyes taking him in, from his long golden hair, to his perfectly muscular physique. On a good day she could have been pretty with a little effort. But there was something in her eyes that made her bold, and she stood straight, with her shoulders back, thrusting her large breasts forward.

"Welcome to Martha's Fried Pies. How may I help you?"

"Hey there, we'll have 2 lemon pies and 1 blueberry," he said, his voice suddenly sounding like the song of the South.

The girl blushed and adjusted the cap on her head.

"Oh, are you from around here? You got that accent."

"Nope, I'm from Tennessee."

"Really? I got people in Tennessee."

"Where about?"

"In a small town nobody has heard of," she dismissed it with a wave of her hand, "it's called Bethel Rock."

Sam laughed, "That's my town!"

The girl smiled.

"Small world, I guess," she then leaned forward on the counter, "you know, you should try the strawberry pie too, we put something special in them."

"Really, like what?"

She licked her bottom lip.

"I can't tell you, but I might let you twist it out of me."

Sam put his arm around Mercedes, hugging her to his side.

"Does it have rhubarb in it? Our girl here is allergic, and I wouldn't want her to break out in hives."

The cashier's smile vanished, once she saw his arm go around Mercedes' waist, she stared for a moment and said:

"It might. But that doesn't mean _you_ can't have strawberry, right?"

"Actually it does, so I guess we'll be sticking with the lemon and blueberry pies," Sam said.

She took the pies that were cooling on the wire rack behind her and sprinkled them with powdered sugar before putting them in small white boxes and writing the type of pie on each one. Then she winked at Sam and took another pie off the rack and put it in a box.

"We only ordered 3," Finn said.

The cashier rolled her eyes.

"It's a strawberry one for him," she said pointing at Sam then she said to Mercedes, "It's on the house. You wouldn't deprive him, would you? Because there's more where that came from."

Mercedes glared at the girl and then she reached up and pulled Sam toward her, and she kissed him. It wasn't a polite peck on the cheek or a chaste greeting between two friends, it was the kind of kiss usually reserved for dark corners at parties or under the bleachers during football games. Her tongue was in his warm mouth, and he moaned as she tugged his hair. His soft, pillowy lips were fused with hers and Mercedes held him close for a few moments before pulling away. Sam's cheeks were flushed and he was breathing hard.

Mercedes looked over at the girl whose mouth hung open in shock and said:

"No, I wouldn't deprive him."

"How much for the pies?" Finn asked, trying not to laugh.

"10.75," the girl said, looking down at her hands.

Sam and Finn got into a friendly argument about who should pay since both of them wanted to do it, but Sam insisted and Finn let him pay and Mercedes saw a look between them and wished they weren't afraid to kiss each other. But Rome wasn't built in a day, and she grabbed the bag off the counter and pulled her boyfriends away from the sour faced girl. Sam stopped her.

"Wait a sec," he said and he took the bag from her and removed the strawberry pie. He put it back on the counter and said:

"I'm happy with what I have."

The girl refused to look at him and kept her eyes on the ground.

Once they were seated at a nearby picnic table, Sam said:

"That was quite a kiss you gave me, if people didn't notice us before they sure as hell notice us now!"

Mercedes nodded and opened the lemon pie box.

"I know. But I'm tired of people thinking I can't possibly have someone like you or Finn. It's stupid. She saw you put your arm around me and say I was your girl, but no, she had to be a jackass and flirt with you anyway. I'm not invisible and I won't take anymore bullshit!"

Sam held up his hands.

"Hey, I'm not complaining."

"Me either," Finn said as he bit into his pie, "That was hot."

Mercedes turned his head and kissed him softly on the lips. She tasted the blueberry pie filling.

"I wasn't leaving you out on purpose."

Finn kissed her cheek.

"Angel, I know that, and I love how you handled yourself."

Mercedes took a tiny bite from her lemon pie. It was quite good, especially the flaky powdered sugar crust, but she had lost her appetite, so she took a few more bites and put the rest of it in the box for later. Sam touched her shoulder.

"You know, I think that sexy underwear gave you a confidence boost."

"How so?"

"Well, the way you kissed me, you've never kissed me like that before in public. I like it. A lot."

"Good, because so do I. Maybe it is the underwear."

Finn finished off his pie and crumpled up the box in his hand.

"Or maybe you finally know you're wearing a crown."

Mercedes leaned against him.

"That could be it too."

Just then Kurt and Blaine joined them at the table with their food. Blaine had a plate filled with hushpuppies and bowl of some kind of stew. Kurt had a couple of strawberry muffins and a plastic container of ambrosia salad. The aroma of Blaine's stew made Mercedes' stomach turn even though it looked delicious. Something about the meaty smell was making her sick.

"What kind of stew is that?" she asked.

"It's burgoo. It has pork, beef and chicken in it. Would you like to try some?" He pushed the bowl toward her. She shook her head.

"I'll pass."

"I'm going to get some barbeque, Finn said, "Does anybody want anything while I'm gone?"

"My stomach feels funny. Could you get me a sprite or ginger ale?" Mercedes asked. Sam placed his hand on her forehead.

"You don't feel warm. Do you want to go home?"

"Of course not, we just got here. My stomach is a little upset that's all."

"Get her an Ale-8, that should settle her stomach," Blaine said as he popped a hush puppy in his mouth.

Finn stared at Mercedes and touched her belly, rubbing it a few times. The nauseous feeling subsided and she sighed in relief.

"I don't know why I can't seem to shake off this virus. I've been getting sick off and on."

Finn continued to move his hands back and forth across her abdomen.

"Be still."

"I am still."

Finn's hand stopped moving.

"Not you."

Mercedes laughed a little.

"Who?"

Suddenly they heard music, and Mercedes turned her attention to the stage. The band was a group of older men with long hair and tanned, leathery skin. They wore red checked shirts and straw hats, their fingers glided across guitars, violins and banjoes and Mercedes pictured endless meadows and covered wagons when she listened to them play. Something in the sound was different, and she wasn't sure what it was. Finn and Sam put their arms around her, and she felt them tremble. Without realizing it, they were swaying to the music. The song had no words, so you had to make them up in your head. Mercedes figured it was about waking up and beginning again. Her stomach churned, and then Finn's calming hand was once again on her belly as Sam kissed her forehead. Blaine's dark eyes glanced over at them, and he looked nervous. Sam noticed.

"Blaine, it's ok."

"People are staring at you."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and held it.

"Focus on this, he said, looking down at their clasped hands, "In the end, that's all that matters."

Blaine smiled and the tension left his face. The last notes strained from the instruments, but Mercedes was still with the music, somehow it was twisting her inside, Finn and Sam placed their hands over hers, as if they could sense that she needed their touch. Then the violinist spoke to the crowd.

"That song was called Once There Was a Hush Puppy, it's about my little grand daughter, always gettin' into things, fixin to make trouble, but she's a strong one, yes, siree, my hush puppy is a strong one..."

Mercedes smiled. The man rambled on about his grand daughter, and soon his words were running together. Everything became gibberish. She closed her eyes for a few minutes and when she opened them again. Sam was staring at her.

"We're going home. You don't look so good."

"Sam, I'm fine. We came here to have some fun and that's what we're going to do."

He raised his eyebrows.

"We can have fun at home."

"PG fun, Sam."

Finn left to get his barbecue while the others sat around the picnic table, laughing and joking. Every once in awhile, Kurt would make a snarky remark about the townspeople and their lack of fashion sense, and Mercedes knew it was wrong to laugh, but Kurt had her in stitches.

"You know if I see one more Wal-mart ensemble, I'll eat this table" Kurt said after a skinny teenage girl pranced by in a tight red Star Pride T-shirt and denim mini skirt.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"How can you tell it's from Wal-mart?"

"It's a gift."

By the time, Finn returned with his barbecue and the Ale-8 for Mercedes, she was in high spirits. But Sam wasn't entirely convinced.

"Are you sure you're up to staying?"

"Sam, trust me, I'm fine. Whatever it was has passed and now I feel great," she said as she took a sip of her soda, "Now stop worrying. I promise if I even start to feel a little sick, we'll go home, ok?"

Sam kissed her.

"Ok, Cedes."

The rest of the afternoon was spent browsing around the market. Kurt bought a vintage movie poster for the Alfred Hitchcock film Vertigo and some silver cuff links from a man selling 1950s memorabilia. Mercedes looked at the merchandise too and found a Rock Hudson poster and Kurt flipped out.

"I must have this!"

"He was super fine," Mercedes said staring at the poster, "Hey remember when we watched Pillow Talk?"

Kurt smiled as he took the poster from her.

"Yeah. You know one day I should dress you up like Doris Day."

"Who's Doris Day?" Finn asked.

"Somebody old and probably dead," Sam said, clearly bored with the conversation, "Hey I saw a comic book vendor a few rows over. Do you think we could go check it out?"

The man behind the booth sucked his teeth and pointed his bony finger at Sam.

"Young man, I'll have you know that Doris Day is very much alive. She was a real class act. Maybe not as popular as Marilyn Monroe, but she could still hold her own. And didn't sleep around either. Kept her legs closed."

"Thanks for the history lesson," Sam said, his cheeks turning pink, Mercedes could tell he was a little embarrassed, but the man only laughed and said:

"Don't mention it, kid."

Mercedes found some Dorothy Dandridge postcards and bought them. Sam and Finn thought she was beautiful, but Sam stared so long at her picture that Mercedes felt a twinge of irrational jealousy.

"I'll give you one to keep by your bed," she said as she put the bag in her purse.

"Oh, don't be that way Cedes, I'm only admiring a movie star from ages ago" Sam said and laughed, "You know you I have your picture next to my bed along with Finn's"

"Hmmm, I'm sure you do."

"I really do. Nobody can hold a candle to you."

"You were drooling."

"No, I wasn't. Besides you were checking out that Rock guy."

"Sam, don't say anything more," Blaine said as they all walked toward the next booth, "You've incriminated yourself enough. Be like Finn and stay silent."

Finn nodded in agreement.

"I'm no fool."

The group all laughed together and Mercedes didn't know when she had such, a fun, relaxed time. Aside from a few hostile stares and whispered remarks, everyone was helpful and polite. When they got to a booth selling all kinds of toys, it was like hitting the jackpot. Finn picked up a little pink toy stove made for a doll.

"Hey Sam, I'm getting this for Stacey."

"Babe, you don't have to do that."

"I know, but she's my little sister too."

Mercedes hugged Finn from behind.

"He's right, Sam. She's our little sister too, and Stevie is our little brother. We'll get something for both of them."

Sam smiled and tears glistened in his eyes. Mercedes kissed his cheek and all of them began browsing through the toys.

"What about this for Stevie?" She asked as she held up a set of Spiderman and Superman action figures.

"Well, I would actually like those for myself, they're kinda cool," Sam said.

"Don't worry, I'll get some for you too. You're such a big kid!"

Along with the action figures, they also bought Stevie a spy set, complete with tiny fake cameras and listening devices, make-up for disguises, and an official spy handbook. Finn found a doll for Stacey because she once said that Maggie needed some more friends.

"Mercy, this doll looks like you."

Mercedes laughed. The doll had dark brown skin, lots of silky curls adorning her head, and a rather plumpish figure. Her small pink lips were curled into an adorable smile and she was dressed in a red velvet dress and black patent leather shoes.

"You think she looks like me?"

"Yep and I'm buying it for her."

"She does look like you," Kurt said, taking the doll from Finn and examining her more closely, "I think she has your smile. Stacey will love her."

Sam put his arm around Mercedes.

"Stacey is always going on about how pretty and nice you are."

"Really?"

"Yes and so does Stevie."

Mercedes wrapped her arm around his waist and hugged him to her side. It was nice to feel appreciated and loved. For a moment, she thought of Amelia, and how she spoke to her in the tape. She always felt cheated of not having a sister. Now she had a little sister looking up to her and it took some of the pain away.

"I don't feel so alone anymore."

The two shared a kiss while Finn was paying the vendor. Blaine bought a bubble blower gun, much to Kurt's dismay.

"What are you going to do with that thing?"

"You never had one of these?"

"No, I wasn't into guns of any sort."

"Kurt, don't be so straight! Wait, that came out wrong, you know what I mean, so you never had a super soaker either?"

"What the hell is a super soaker?"

"It's this big water gun."

Kurt shook his head.

"No, thank God, though my father did buy me a train set and I liked that. I also used to collect swords."

"What?"

"Don't look so surprised. I'll show you my collection sometime."

"But you hate guns."

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Swords are different. I used to take fencing lessons."

"If we weren't in a crowd of people, I would kiss you right now," Blaine said stepping closer to his boyfriend, their faces only a few inches apart.

Kurt broke the trance and stepped back, turning to Mercedes, he said:

"We'll see you guys in a bit, we have to take care of something."

Before they could ask any questions, Blaine grabbed his arm and the two rushed off. Finn walked over to Sam and Mercedes.

"Where are they running off to?"

"Let's just say, I don't think Kurt is a prude anymore," Sam said.

"Well, I hope they clean off the seats when they're done," Finn said, taking Mercedes' hand, "I mean we have to ride back with them."

The three laughed and continued browsing around the market. Sam had a field day buying comic books and Finn bought a harmonica, though nobody understood why, since he didn't know how to play. Mercedes wanted another Ale-8, so while Finn and Sam were at a booth selling baseball cards, she went to the food section. As she wiped her forehead with a tissue, she pushed her way through the throngs of people, trying not to get sick from the smell of corndogs and caramel corn. Everything in the food vendor section was fried: fried pickles, fried Twinkies, and even fried Snickers bars that oozed chocolate and caramel. It was all a bit much for Mercedes, and what really got her was the booth that sold burgers on glazed doughnuts. Mercedes stopped at the booth in sheer disgust, she wasn't a health food fanatic but this was a bit much. She stared at the greasy beef patty shoved between the golden, sweet doughnuts, shaking her head. The place was called Fat Wally's. Then she saw that they sold Ale-8 and got in line. The cashier was a skinny pale boy with horrible acne and spiked brown hair. He wore a red T-shirt covered in grease stains and a red Fat Wally's cap. He flirted with the girl in front of Mercedes, a young Alicia Keys look alike, with a honey complexion and long braids. He was trying to convince her to get a burger combo. The girl put her hands on her slender hips and smiled up at him.

"I only want small fries and extra ketchup. I don't need the burger."

"How can you come to Fat Wally's and not get the Glazed Supreme? Tell you what, I'll make a little one for you."

She flipped her braids and laughed, and Mercedes got a whiff of her coconut hair oil.

"Well, I don't know…"

"Come on, I'll make it really tiny. I promise," he said and then gestured toward Mercedes, "I bet you she's getting the supersize combo, am I right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I'm just sayin'"

The Alicia Keys knock-off giggled nervously, twisting one of her braids around her fingers. Mercedes glared at her and then said to the greasy cashier:

"No, I want to know, why you said that."

He cleared his throat and looked down at the counter. Mercedes stood there, her arms folded, tapping her foot.

"Well?"

"Have you looked in the mirror?"

Mercedes stared at him, thinking maybe she imagined it.

"What?"

"You heard me."

_Just look at yourself… Have you seen your weight chart?_

Her mother's loud, demanding voice popped in her head. She pushed the voice aside. Just that morning her body was praised and loved. Love. Sometimes that's all it took. A kiss, a touch, a confirmation.

"Yes I have and I'm beautiful "

He smirked.

"Guess you need a new mirror."

Mercedes pushed the girl aside and leaned forward on the counter.

"You go ahead and make that tiny burger because that's all you'll ever amount to."

The kid got really angry and he balled up his fists.

"Who do you think you're talking to? You fat bitch!"

Normally, his words would hurt, his venom would seep into her blood, and once again she would be wounded. But not this time. This time she stood tall.

"I'm talking to nobody."

As she started to walk away, Sam and Finn approached her, they glanced over at the cashier, who was staring death daggers at Mercedes. He called out to her:

"Hey, you think I'm nobody? You ain't got nothing on me, you fat assed cow!"

Her boyfriends fell into protective mode; Sam got his fighting stance as he stood in front of Mercedes, flexing his muscles.

"What the fuck did you just say to our girlfriend?"

Finn stepped closer to the counter, and Mercedes could see how his 6'3 giant frame could be intimidating to strangers. The cashier took in the angry blonde boy and the giant hulk beside him and knew he had been beat, to even challenge them would mean getting his ass kicked. He looked down for a moment then raised his eyes and said:

"Sorry."

"A little louder please, we couldn't hear you," Finn said.

"Look, I'm sorry! I don't want any trouble!"

Sam slammed his fist on the counter.

"You should've thought of that before you insulted our girl, asshole!"

Finn and Sam each took her by the hand and they walked away together; they held her small hands so tightly that she thought they would cut off her circulation. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the girl with braids staring at them in fascination, as if she were trying to piece together how it all came to be. Mercedes felt safe, protected and loved. And for the first time, she also felt beautiful, not only because her boyfriends told her every chance they got, but also because she felt it from within.

She remembered her crown.

They met up with Blaine and Kurt in the parking lot, both of them looking like they had had a good time, of course neither of them admitted as much, but their flushed cheeks and mussed hair gave them away.

Mercedes covered her mouth, attempting to stifle a yawn. "So are you guys ready to go home. I'm beyond tired.

"Sure, we're beat too," Blaine said, rubbing Kurt's shoulder, "I had a better time than I thought I would."

"Yeah, look at Kurt's neck," Finn said pointing at the purple marks quite visible on Kurt's pale skin."

Kurt only blushed, looking away from their inquisitive glances then Blaine whispered something in his boyfriend's ear causing him to laugh.

Sam folded his arms and shook his head as if he were a teacher scolding his students.

"Now, you know it isn't nice to not share with the group."

The two boys smiled, scanned the parking lot for a brief second, and deciding the coast was clear, quickly kissed before walking toward the car.

Once they piled into the car, Mercedes fell asleep leaning against Finn, with Sam's arm wrapped around her.

* * *

_**MYSTERIOUS STRANGER**_

When they got back to the house, Sam went upstairs to their bedroom and called home to check on Stacey and Stevie. He had been thinking about them a lot. He plopped down on the bed, holding the bag of toys that Finn and Mercedes bought for them. It warmed his heart twice over that his boyfriend and girlfriend loved Stevie and Stacey as much as he did. They claimed his family as their own and that meant everything to Sam. He pulled out the doll and touched her mahogany face, tracing his fingers over her dimpled cheeks and pert nose. She really did look like his Cedes. The gift was perfect for Stacey; she didn't go for modern looking dolls very much; she hated Barbies with a passion. He smiled thinking of how happy she was going to be when she got it. He dialed his mother's cell phone; after the fourth ring, she finally answered.

"Hi Sam, how's everything in Kentucky?" She was out of breath and her words came out a little too quickly.

"Mom, are you ok? Were you exercising?"

"No, nothing like that. I'm fine. If you're calling to talk to Stacey she's taking a nap. She and Stevie were playing all morning and it took a lot out of her."

"Can I speak to Stevie? Or is he napping too?"

"No, he's awake. Hold on."

Sam heard his mother shouting for Stevie and the sound of his feet running down the stairs. After a muffled conversation between the two, Stevie was on the phone.

"Hi, Sam!"

"Hey there, little bro, how's everything going?"

"Me and Stacey pretended to slay dragons this morning. I tried to get her to wait for me in a tower like the queen always does, but she said that waiting was boring and she wanted to fight the dragons too, so I had to make her a sword."

"Our sister is a modern woman," Sam said, laughing into the phone.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. I'm so glad she's home."

"Me too. And her hair is growing back. She won't need yours anymore," then Stevie lowered his voice, "Sam, I gotta tell you something."

Sam sat on the edge of his chair. Something felt wrong.

"What is it?"

"Wait a sec."

He listened to Stevie climb the stairs, and heard the sound of a door creaking open and then shutting.

"Sam, can you hear me?" Stevie's voice had a strange echo.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the bathtub. I don't want Mom to find me."

"Why?"

"Cause, she won't like what I have to tell you. You gotta promise you won't say anything. She doesn't want you to know."

"Know what?"

"About the lady who came here this morning. She had really long, blonde hair -like down to her butt, and her clothes were dirty. She was looking for Dad. She kept hollerin' at Mom, telling her to let her in."

"What did she want?"

"Beats me. But she was plenty mad. She said she was gonna come back. I don't like her, Sam. She made Mom cry."

"Where was Aunt Patty?" Sam asked, thinking that his aunt would have cursed the woman out, whoever she was.

"She and Stacey were in town getting us breakfast from McDonald's. What are we gonna do, Sam? Do you think I should call Dad?"

"No, don't call him. Are you scared?"

"Nope. She wasn't scary. Just mean. She acted like she could just come into our house. Who do you think she was?"

"I don't know. Is Aunt Patty there?"

"Yeah, she's downstairs. I'll get her."

After listening the door opening and shutting again, and Stevie running down the stairs, he finally heard Aunt Patty's voice.

"Hi Sam! Better make it quick cause I got to finish making these meatballs for dinner."

"Stevie told me about Mom's visitor today."

"That figures. I love my nephew to pieces, but his mouth is growing bigger than the rest of him."

"Why did Mom want to keep it a secret?"

"You know Gayle, she never wants to worry anybody. Besides there's nothing you can do – oops, hold on, my sauce is boiling over!"

While Aunt Patty tended to the sauce, Sam got up from the bed and started pacing around the room. After a few minutes she was back.

"Sorry about that."

"No problem. So who was she?"

"I don't know. Gayle won't say much about it. She just keeps running around the house searching for something. Anyway, it's probably some ho he's screwing. Certainly wouldn't be the first. You need to understand that your mother tells things in her own time, you can't pull nothing out of her. That's just her way."

"I know I just wish –"

"Hoping and wishing get you nowhere. Listen, I really have to go, I know how to handle your mother and once she's ready to open up, I promise to tell you everything. Now, you just go on and have a nice time with your friends."

"Let me speak to Stevie again."

"Ok, just a minute." After she yelled for Stevie, a few moments later, he was on the phone again.

"Hey"

"Stevie, I have to go. I love you, and tell Stacey that I love her too."

"I love you too, Sam. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How come Mom and Dad don't say I love you anymore?"

Sam's heart clenched.

"Stevie, listen to me. Even though they don't say it, they love you, alright? Never doubt that."

"I wont'. Bye Sam."

"Bye, Stevie."

A million questions ran through Sam's mind as to who the mysterious woman was. He decided not to dwell on it because Aunt Patty was there and she had a way of keeping things together when they were falling apart. When he got home, he would get to the bottom of everything.

* * *

_**SWEDISH MEATBALLS**_

That evening Blaine attempted to make dinner. Armed with a Scandinavian cookbook, he waved off any offers of help. Kurt tried to reason with him.

"You've never cooked before. Why don't we make breakfast together tomorrow morning?"

"Kurt, I'm asking you to have faith."

"And I'm asking you to have a reality check. You don't know what you're doing."

Mercedes watched the two bicker and did her best to stay out of it. Though she agreed with Kurt, Blaine grew up with maids, chefs and nannies, how could he possibly cook a meal?

"Why Scandinavian? Isn't that a bit much for a beginner?" She asked leaning against the sink.

"It's my heritage," Blaine said. He opened the cookbook and laid it on the marble counter, "Besides, How hard is it to follow a recipe, I mean, Sam does it all the time."

Sam, who was sitting to the kitchen table, helping Finn take a splinter out of his finger said, "I'm glad you think so highly of me, Blaine."

Mercedes walked over to Blaine and faced him with her hands on her hips.

"For your information, Sam doesn't follow recipes, "He comes up with his creations all on his own. He's a genius!"

Sam turned red as Mercedes defended him; Finn joined in.

"You tell him, Mercy!" Finn said, then he yelped out in pain, "Ouch, go easy, Sam, part of the splinter is still in there!"

"I told you not to grip the headboard so hard when we were –"

Kurt cleared his throat to silence them.

"Um, we know what you were doing. No need to go into details."

Blaine stepped away from Mercedes, holding his hands up in defeat.

"Ok, ok, no need to get bent out of shape. I stand corrected. And just for the record, I didn't mean to put Sam down." He then pulled out some pots and pans from the cupboard above the stove and said, "But I'm still making dinner, so all of you get out of the kitchen, and let me get to work."

"What are you making?" Finn asked.

"Potato pork sausages with lingon berries and meatballs with nutmeg. You'll like it, trust me."

Finn and Sam looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Kurt pulled Mercedes aside and whispered in her ear, "I hate it when he gets like this, all determined to make an ass of himself. I think he wants to impress you guys for some reason."

Mercedes linked her arm through his.

"There's no need to impress us. This house is more than impressive."

Kurt sighed, "My sweetie always has to prove something."

Mercedes glanced over at Blaine who was pouring oil in a skillet, the heat was too high and it hissed and popped, causing him to jump back. She shook her head and was thankful they had those take out menus.

**ooo**

Since they were banished from the kitchen, leaving Blaine to his culinary madness, they all sat in the living room and watched a Fringe marathon. Mercedes lay between her boyfriends, with her head in Sam's lap and her feet resting across Finn's legs. Sometimes he squeezed her toes, making her giggle, or Sam would play with her hair, digging his hands deep into her dense curls. Kurt wasn't into the program, so he entertained himself with Patti Labelle's autobiography, sometimes reading aloud passages that he thought Mercedes would like - much to Finn and Sam's annoyance. Despite the occasional sound of breaking glass, and the loud string of obscenities that came from his mouth, Blaine still refused to let anyone help, and forbid them to come into the kitchen, saying that he had it "under control."

Although she took a nap in the car on the way home, Mercedes fell asleep again and she woke up to the smell of smoke and burned meat. The smoke alarm was going off. She rubbed her eyes and coughed.

Finn and Sam were opening the windows, and turning on the ceiling fans. Kurt was yelling at Blaine in the kitchen:

"I told you something like this would happen!"

"Shut up, just open the back door, will you?" Blaine shouted in response.

Mercedes figured that dinner was ruined; the smoke and chaos was upsetting. Finn noticed she was awake and walked over to her.

"Don't worry. Blaine almost burned down the kitchen, but we got the fire out," he offered her his hand and helped her off the couch, "Why don't you go outside while we air the place out?"

He led Mercedes out of the living room and onto the front porch where she sat down on the porch swing. It was a warm, balmy summer evening, the sun was setting and the fading golden light reflected off the lake. As Finn was about to go back inside, she grabbed his hand:

"Stay with me."

"But what about –"

"I'm sure they got it covered."

He hesitated for a second. Then he shrugged his shoulders and sat down, wrapping his arm around her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

She nodded.

"I love you."

Finn looked down at her with a crooked smile.

"I love you too."

They began to swing back and forth slowly, listening to World War 3 that was raging inside.

"Blaine, I can't believe you did this! I tried to tell you – "

"Stop it, ok? So I screwed up. You could've at least supported me!"

The front door opened and Sam came out to join them. He gave them each a kiss before settling down beside Mercedes.

"So what will it be? Chinese take out or pizza?"

They all looked at each other and said in unison:

"Pizza!"

"And I want to get our usual," Finn said.

"I do too, but do you think that Blaine and Kurt are really into pineapple, anchovies and black olives?" Mercedes asked, "Just because we love it, doesn't mean that anybody else does."

"It'll work out. Besides we're ordering more than one, so they can get what they want, Sam said, "Are you ok about what happened this afternoon? That guy was a major prick."

"I'm fine. People like that aren't worth wasting time over."

"I know but nobody disrespects you as long as we're around."

Finn squeezed her hand.

"Sam's right. You know I don't get what's wrong with people. It's like nobody knows how to be decent anymore."

"Oh, I don't know. I like to think that decent people still exist," Mercedes said, "I'm just thankful that we have each other, no matter what happens out there," she said nodding toward the lake, "We have something inside to hold onto that's even greater."

Sam lifted her hand and kissed it and then he did the same to Finn.

"When we get married, I want us to change our last names to Jovanson."

Finn's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Jovanson? Why?"

"It's a combination of our three last names. Jones, Evans, and Hudson."

"Jovanson, hmm, I like it," Mercedes said, "it's wonderful to have our names combined like that."

Finn smiled.

"It does have a nice ring to it."

Sam kissed them again and said, "Good, because I thought Jones Evans Hudson was way too long."

They all laughed and a comfortable silence fell between them. They just sat there swinging and watching what was left of a glorious sunset. Since they were near the lake, the air was turning cooler, and they instinctively moved closer together, gathering warmth from one another's bodies.

"This is my dream," Sam said.

They knew what he meant. This moment. This place where everything connected like a mosaic, bits and pieces, fitting together. Regardless of what anyone ever said or how it looked to the outside world— they belonged together. Soon they were kissing and moaning into each other's skin, sweet, fragile kisses that reminded them that it could all be lost or broken if they weren't careful. Love was like that. Their needs became more urgent as they touched one another; Soon their hands crept under each other's clothes, making contact with warm flesh. Gently pulling apart from them, Sam stood up and took Finn and Mercedes by the hand, leading them upstairs to the bedroom. They undressed in the golden, dusky light, and then fell onto the bed. Mercedes lay back, opening her arms to her lovers and they welcomed her embrace. They continued kissing her, as their fingers slid between her thighs. She bit her lip and arched her back.

"Now," she whispered.

As Sam entered her, he gave her a kiss and then looked over at Finn, who was stroking his cock, as Mercedes fondled his balls.

"Babe, I need you too," Sam said.

"But isn't it too soon, what if – "

"It's ok. Just keep telling me you love me."

Mercedes looked up at Sam. He was opening himself up so much that weekend. She pulled him down for a kiss, enjoying his lips and tongue and his cock buried inside her.

"We love you."

Finn got the lube from his overnight bag and put some on his fingers before gently pushing two fingers inside of Sam's tight hole.

"Feel ok?"

Sam nodded. "I'm good."

Finn inserted another finger, and when he felt he was stretched enough, he pushed himself inside Sam and began a gentle thrusting. Sam gazed down at Mercedes and pumped his hips.

"I feel so full, you're squeezing me good Cedes and Finn is inside me…"

"Shhhh, just take it all in," she said, "How does it feel?"

"Amazing. My God, baby, you're so beautiful, you know that right?"

Sam kissed her and squeezed her breasts, tugging on her nipples. Mercedes rode another wave of pleasure. Soon the three picked up the pace, going faster and faster: their bodies pushing together. Finn gripped Sam's narrow hips as he pounded him from behind, his broad chest was pressed against his back.

"Come on babe, I want us all to come together."

Mercedes couldn't last much longer, her legs were wrapped around Sam's waist and he was reaching G-spots that she never knew existed. For a second it was all so good that she thought she died a little. Then it happened, their bodies shook together as they all came, Sam filled Mercedes with his cum as Finn filled him with his. They lay in a sweaty heap on the bed until they regained what was left of their strength and got up to take a shower.

* * *

_**MOONLIGHT SWIM**_

Finn was grateful that Kurt and Blaine finally stopped arguing. Once they made up and all was forgiven, everyone helped to clean up the disaster area that had once been a pristine gourmet kitchen. After much elbow grease and determination, only a few faint black smudges remained on the cream colored walls of the kitchen. Mercedes took charge and the boys followed her lead as she supervised the clean up duty. Finn liked it when she got a little bossy at times; it showed that she could handle her own and he was proud of her. When they finished cleaning, they ordered pizza, and decided to eat dinner on the closed in back porch. Finn lit some citronella candles to keep away the insects. Even though they offered to pay, Blaine insisted on treating everyone to dinner. They got 3 pizzas, breadsticks, tossed salad and a few 2-liter cokes. Crickets chirped in the darkness as they devoured their meal. Everyone was starving. Finn looked over at Mercedes and watched as she helped herself to a second slice.

"I'm glad you feel like eating again."

"Me too. This pizza is beyond good."

"How can you guys eat pineapple and anchovies? Kurt asked before taking another bite of his plain cheese pizza.

"You have to give it a chance," Sam said.

Kurt shook his head. "The three of you deserve each other."

Mercedes laughed as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Can't argue with that!"

"Guys, I'm sorry I ruined dinner," Blaine said looking down at his paper plate, "I'm also sorry that I almost burned down the house."

"That's like the third time you've apologized. Everything is cool. Accidents happen," Finn said, hoping that would be the end of it.

"I've never had friends like you before."

"What do you mean?"

Blaine leaned back in his chair and looked at all of them, the candlelight shining in his dark eyes.

"Back at Dalton most of my friendships were superficial. We sang together and hung out, but none of them knew anything about me. Then I meet Kurt and we connect and he introduces me to the three of you, and it all is so different, a good different, not bad or anything. You serenade each other and say prayers, not caring about typical stuff and it amazes me. But in my world, how I was brought up, you have to impress people, and that's what I was doing with dinner."

Sam got up from his chair and hugged Blaine.

"Listen, you invite us to this awesome house, treat us like family, and buy us dinner. You don't have to impress us. And even if you didn't do any of those things, we like you for you, not for what you give us, understand?"

"I do now," Blaine said returning the hug.

"And since you like Scandinavian food so much, I can help you make it, we'll cook together, how does that sound?"

"It sounds like a good idea."

"Hallelujah, the voice of reason. Somebody give my sweetheart a gold star!" Kurt said as he kissed Blaine's cheek, causing him to blush.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled," Finn said, "What do we have for dessert?"

"Ice cream sandwiches," Mercedes said.

"Cool, I love ice cream sandwiches."

"I know, Mr. Greedy, which is why I had Blaine to get a few extra for you."

Finn kissed her.

"Thanks for looking out, angel."

After dessert was eaten and the leftover food was put away, they sat around, laughing and joking and then played Monopoly. It was a fun, spirited game that lasted for hours. They finally called it quits at around 11:00 when Kurt won and had more money then he knew what to do with. He and Blaine decided to turn in for the night and from the lustful glances the two had exchanged, the others knew it wasn't because they wanted to hit the sack early. After Kurt and Blaine had gone upstairs, Finn suggested that they go skinny dipping in the lake.

"Remember you guys said we could try it," he said, hoping that they had not changed their minds.

"Won't it be cold?" Mercedes asked.

Finn put his arms around her. "We'll keep you warm, angel, don't worry, so what do you say?"

She looked over at Sam.

"Well?"

Sam pulled them into a hug, his hair brushing against Finn's cheek.

"Come on, let's go."

**ooo**

As they walked toward the lake, Finn gazed up at the full moon that lit their path. He brought a LED lantern for extra light, but nothing compared to the silver moonlight that glowed on their skin. Once they made it to the edge, they helped Mercedes out of her shorts and tank top and then undressed themselves. Finn's breath caught in his throat as he stared at Sam and Mercedes standing there nude; they really were beautiful, he knew they would be, but seeing his dream become a reality was something else. The air was a little chilly, causing Mercedes' skin to get goose bumps. Her nipples grew hard and Finn, unable to resist those thick nubs, reached out and gently pinched them. Mercedes gasped.

"Finn…"

He then drew her in a kiss and pulled Sam closer to kiss him too. Once they broke apart, he led them to the lake, and they slowly walked into the shimmering pool, the water was cold as Mercedes predicted, but Finn wanted to keep going.

"Holding up alright, Mercy?"

"I'm fine. The water is cold, but it feels good. I want to keep going deeper."

Finn tightly held her hand as they descended deeper into the lake. Every now and then the three of them would kiss and caress each other as they splashed about in the water.

"This reminds me of when I was baptized," Sam said.

"You were baptized naked in a lake at night?" Mercedes asked, running her hands through his damp hair.

Sam laughed and swatted her bottom. "No, Cedes, it was during the day and I wore swim trunks, but the lake was like this one."

"What was it like? Being baptized?" Finn asked.

"It was peaceful. I felt this rushing water in my ears. I thought I would be scared, but I wasn't. I was just in the moment, sort of like floatin' in a bubble."

"Do you think you'll ever go back to church like you used to before everything happened?"

Sam was quiet for a long time and Finn regretted the question. Finally Sam answered him:

"I don't know. It would have to be a very open and accepting place."

Finn said nothing; he decided it wasn't the time. He knew that Sam missed parts of church, though he would never admit it. He gathered Mercedes and Sam in his arms, letting his hands run down their backs and eventually squeezing their butt cheeks, eliciting moans of pleasure from his girlfriend and boyfriend. Mercedes wrapped her thick legs around Finn's waist and ground against him, while Sam held her hips steady. The sensation was too great for Finn, and he carried her out of the water, carefully placing her on the two large beach towels they brought with them.

Gazing down at her, her dripping wet body illuminated by the moonlight, she reminded him of the sea nymphs he once read about, though she was far more voluptuous. One thing he always loved about her was that she didn't shave her pubic hair, it was thick and wiry, and now water droplets clung to the hairy V between her legs, like tiny crystals. Sam was behind him, kissing his neck and shoulders, his hand reached for his cock and stroked it a few times before guiding it inside their beautiful girlfriend.

They made love in the moonlight, as Finn sang to her:

_Beautiful brown eyes, you're all mine_

Sam joined in the song as he lay beside her, holding her close and leaving soft kisses on her full breasts.

_Sweet girl, lay beneath me and all around me, no other place I'd rather be, lover girl, my world_

He looked like a mythological creature glowing in the light of the lantern, his long golden hair shining, and his sinewy muscles were as perfect as those found on Greek statues. Mercedes reached for his cock.

"Sam?"

For a second he was confused, and then he understood. He sat up and got close to her head; she gripped his erect member and slid it between her plump lips, sucking gently.

Finn pumped in and out of his perfect sea angel, while she pleasured his other love, who looked so handsome losing control, his mouth hanging open and his thick lips, a glossy red. Soon they were all coming, spilling into her sweet mouth and tight hot core. Their bodies quivered and shook. They clung to each other, holding onto the afterglow for a long as possible, before they finally rose off the towels and went back into the lake to wash off the residue of their ardent lovemaking. They swam in the water following the moonlit path, reflected on the lake, their bodies gliding along effortlessly. Finn had forgotten that his boyfriend and girlfriend were such good swimmers.

Suddenly, Sam climbed on his back and playfully pushed him underwater. That started a water fight and there was dunking galore. It was all so carefree and whimsical; their laughter rang out across the lake. Finn knew their youth was ending, that adulthood was right around the corner, taking away action figures and tea parties and replacing it with responsibilities that kept you up at night, much of what his mother went through as a single parent. But in the water, late at night, with his two loves, time stood still. They could be kids. He reached for their hands and pulled them under the water, and underneath they formed a circle love, holding their breaths and braving the darkness, until they broke through the surface and rose back up, laughing and holding one another, their hearts beating fast in their chests.

"Can we always stay like this? Out here, just us?" Finn asked.

"I wish we could, babe," Sam said.

"Me too," Mercedes said and her eyes had a flash of sadness.

They swam back together, singing silly songs, and by the time they got out of the lake, Finn was exhausted. As he was about to put his shorts back on, Sam grabbed his shoulder.

"Don't bother. Let's just walk back like this."

"It lasts longer that way doesn't it?"

Sam only nodded. Mercedes had no qualms about not getting dressed again, and Finn was thrilled, he scooped her up in his arms.

"Can't have you walking, Mercy, you're too tired."

"But so are you."

"I'll manage."

So they walked the winding path in the nude, letting the night air dry their skin. Sam had his arm around Finn, holding him close to his side, while Finn's arms were full, carrying their sleeping angel safely back home. Finn loved the smell of the lake on her skin and wished he could bottle it up and keep it forever. Once they were inside the house, they climbed the stairs with bleary eyes and stifled yawns. They could barely stand in the shower, but still managed to get clean. After they dried off and finally crawled into bed, Finn said a silent prayer of thanks for the two people beside him, as he drifted off to sleep wrapped up in their arms.

* * *

**_SIXTH SENSE_**

_Finn couldn't see them but he heard their tiny cries. He stood in the middle of a field surrounded by purple flowers. Mercedes was beside him._

"_Did you hear that?" he asked her._

"_Hear what?"_

"_Shhh, listen."_

_Mercedes only laughed at him and twirled around in her bright yellow dress, not having a care in the world._

"_I don't hear anything, now let's pick flowers!"_

"_No, we have to –"_

_She reached up and kissed him._

"_We don't have to do anything except be happy."_

"_What's wrong with you? Why can't you hear it?_

"_Because I don't want to. Come on, sing me a song like you did for Rachel."_

"_Where's Sam?"_

"_He's in the house."_

_Finn looked around and saw nothing except the purple flowers and bright blue sky._

"_House?"_

"_Sing me a song! We don't have much time!"_

_Her dark brown eyes were frightened. Finn hugged her._

"_I can't."_

_Suddenly she was gone and it was dark. Finn called out for her._

"_Mercedes!"_

_He stumbled through the darkness, trying to find her. Then he saw a candle burning in the window of a house in the distance. Sam stood on the porch waiting for him. His hair was cut close to his head._

"_You found me."_

"_Is she here?"_

"_No, but she'll be back."_

_Finn walked up the steps and wrapped his arms around him._

"_Why did you cut your hair?"_

"_Because I hear it too."_

Finn woke up with a terrible headache. He had the dream again. He kissed Mercedes and Sam on the forehead and got out of bed as quietly as he could. Slipping on his bathrobe, he walked over to the window and stared out at the lake for a few moments. He glanced at the clock on the dresser; it was 5:00 in the morning. His head throbbed and he went into the bathroom and took a couple of Advil and brushed his teeth. He tried to think of everything except that nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew why it was there, but he just couldn't face it. The consequences of it scared him. He put on his sweats and a t-shirt and grabbed the car keys off the dresser. Sam moved about in the bed, and then he raised his head, his blonde hair was a long, tangled mess - even with bed head and sleep crusted eyes, he somehow managed to be sexy.

"Where are you going?" he whispered.

Finn sat down on the bed next to him.

"I need to get a few things from the mini-mart."

Sam rubbed his eyes.

"Like what?"

"Just stuff. I want Twizzlers."

"Twizzlers, huh? At this hour?"

"Yeah, I'll be back soon."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You seem a little anxious."

Finn kissed his cheek and stood up.

"I'm really ok. Go back to sleep. I'll see you in a bit."

"Wait, don't go."

Sam opened his arms.

"Please?"

He sat down on the bed again and Sam hugged him to his chest, rubbing his back three times.

"Be safe. I love you."

"I love you too, don't worry, I won't be long."

By now, Mercedes was slowly opening her eyes. Sam kissed her.

"Sorry, Cedes, we didn't mean to wake you."

She covered her mouth and yawned.

"It's ok," she looked over at Finn, who was standing near the door about to leave,

"Baby, where are you going?"

"The mini mart."

"He wants Twizzlers," Sam said.

"Oh. This early in the morning?"

Finn sighed and walked over to her.

"I just have a craving. Now I'll be back soon," he bent down and kissed her, "Sorry, I forgot to ask, but did either of you want anything?"

"Ale-8," Mercedes said as she snuggled up to Sam.

"You're addicted to that stuff aren't you?"

"It settles my stomach."

"I thought you were feeling better."

"I am, but still…"

"Ok, well, I'll see you soon. I love you."

Mercedes gave him a sleepy smile. Her eyes were already closing again.

"I love you too."

**ooo**

Sam worried about Finn while he was gone. He was acting so strange. As much as Finn loved Twizzlers, he never got up at the crack of dawn just to buy some. Mercedes slept peacefully beside him, the late night swim wore her out. He touched her forehead to make sure she wasn't warm and she felt fine. This gave him a bit of relief, but then Finn crowded his thoughts again. Sam sighed and put his arms around Mercedes, pressing his chest against hers until he could feel her heart beat. It would be difficult to go back to Lima and sleep alone again in his parents' house; the trip had been a treat because he was able to fall asleep with Finn and Mercedes every night and make love as much as they wanted. Now they would have to return to reality. Sam sighed and gazed up at the ceiling. If it were up to him, they would be married and living in an apartment. At least they knew what their new last names would be and that was a start. Then he got a thought. Maybe Finn was feeling insecure again, although that made no sense because the connection they all shared the night before was phenomenal. He sank his fingers into Mercedes' afro as he considered what could be wrong. Well, if Finn needed some more reassurance about his love for him, he would gladly give it, in fact, both of them would.

Finn filled his basket with Twizzlers, Sour Patch Kids, and a 6-pack of Ale-8. He got some Spiderman bubblegum for Sam. As he wandered the aisles of Larry's Mini-Mart, he knew that he was stalling. _Just do it already!_ He said to himself. But it was hard. He always had the ability to sense things or feel them, and ignoring it never made it better.

"Do you need help?" an older saleswoman with bright red hair said to him, her nametag said Candy. She reminded Finn of Ronald McDonald.

"Uh, no, thanks. I'm good."

"Are you sure? You've been wandering around for over 30 minutes," she looked him up and down and then added, "You're not from Star Pride are you?"

"No, I'm from Ohio."

"Hmm." Candy didn't seem too impressed. "Visiting relatives?"

"Friends."

"I see."

Finn grabbed what he needed on the bottom shelf in front of him.

"This is what I've been looking for," he said, avoiding her eyes as he plopped the boxes into the basket.

Candy's mouth formed an O and she clucked her tongue.

"Come along, young man, let me ring you up."

**ooo**

When Finn got back to the house, he didn't go inside right away. Instead he went for a run, taking a long path in the woods on the Anderson property. He saw butterflies and birds flying about in the morning light. The trees gave enough shade so the run was pleasant and not too hot, it was different running on soft, brown earth as opposed to concrete and he liked it. The exercise cleared his head, and when he finished he was drenched in sweat and in dire need of a shower. He took the bags out of the car and trudged upstairs, his legs burned with each step, reminding him that he needed to run more often. Sam and Mercedes were still asleep and for this he was grateful. He slipped into the bathroom and took off his funky sweats and stepped into the shower.

He was so consumed with his thoughts, that he didn't hear the shower door open and he let out a little yell, when he felt Sam's arms embrace him.

"Hey, babe, thought I would join you."

"Sam I – "

"Shhh, relax. This is all for you." He grabbed the washcloth and body wash and began to wash Finn's back using broad strokes. Finn sighed and enjoyed the moment. Sam also took it upon himself to wash his muscular buttocks before moving down toward his thighs.

"Turn around," he whispered.

Finn did as he asked and Sam squirted body wash on his bruised chest. He flung the washcloth to the side, and used his hands to work up a lather; it felt so good, that Finn closed his eyes and moaned.

"That's it, babe, just enjoy this. You do so much for us. I want to show you how much I love and cherish you. Sometimes I think you doubt me."

"I don't doubt you." Finn said through his moans, "I love you too."

"Hmm, are you sure about that?" Sam asked as he tweaked one of his nipples.

"Yes, I - I'm sure."

Sam leaned down and flicked his tongue across the other nipple.

"Oh, I think you have doubts. Remember what you said about Dylan?"

"But that – "

"No, buts, Finnegan, you have to trust that neither me or Cedes are going anywhere, ok, because we love you so much it hurts."

Finn was glad the shower was running full blast because he was crying.

"Sam, baby, I believe you. I do."

Sam kissed him and rubbed his cock against Finn's creating that delicious friction that Finn loved. Then Sam dropped to his knees and took Finn's cock into his mouth. Finn almost lost his balance, and his hands slipped against the shower walls.

"Oh, Sam…" he said, then he couldn't hold back any longer and he came in his boyfriend's mouth.

Finn didn't know why he was crying. It was all so loving and wonderful and good… but then he remembered the secret he carried or rather the feeling within him and he was fearful again. Sam sucked him dry as Finn tugged on his long, blonde hair, twisting the wet locks around his fingers. Then he patted Sam's head, signaling him to stand up.

The two kissed and held each other close. Finn buried his face in Sam's neck.

"I love you, Sam. I won't doubt you again."

"Good, cause me and Cedes love you, alright? And we couldn't get through half the crap we've been through together without your love and support."

"Do you mind if we sit down?"

"Sure."

Finn sat on the shower floor and patted his thighs. Sam sat on his lap and leaned into his chest.

"I know this sounds girly, but I really love your chest."

"It's not as defined as yours."

"Finn, please – "

"Sorry, old habits die hard."

"I hope that one dies really fast."

"It will. I need to talk to you and Mercy, and it's really important. Do you think she will be up soon?"

Just as he said this, the bathroom door opened.

"Ok, I know y'all are talking about me," Mercedes said laughing as she came inside, "and it better be all good."

Finn and Sam both stood up and opened the shower door. Mercedes stood before them, completely naked with her hands on her hips. Of course, her luscious curves distracted Finn for a moment, and he wanted to bend her over the sink and take her while watching her facial expression in the mirror as he pounded into her with Sam gripping his hips and biting his shoulders…

"Finn, eyes up here! Tell me why my ears are burning."

He picked up his bathrobe and put it on, and then handed a towel to Sam.

"Let's go talk in the bedroom," he said, taking them by their hands.

Once they settled on the bed, he picked up one the Larry's Mini-Mart bags off the floor and handed it to Mercedes.

"You need this."

Mercedes peered into the bag, and pulled out two home pregnancy tests.

"You think I'm pregnant?"

Finn nodded. "I know you are. This will confirm it."

"What? How do you know?"

"I know this makes no sense, but I feel it."

"You're right, it doesn't make sense. I just have a stupid stomach bug, that's all" She looked away from him, her arms folded.

Sam rubbed her shoulders.

"Cedes, when was your last period?"

"It was recent, I think. You know how my period can be a little wacky even though I'm on the pill."

Finn held her hand.

"You're pregnant. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. I feel them."

Mercedes snorted.

"Them?"

"It's more than one."

"Finn, we know you wouldn't lie to us, but can you please explain how you know this?"

He wasn't sure how to answer. How could he explain his ability to feel what he felt?

"I don't know."

"So you're psychic now?" Mercedes asked. Finn was hurt.

"Please don't mock me."

Mercedes' eyes softened once she saw that she had hurt his feelings.

"I'm sorry. But you have to admit this is weird, ok?"

Finn nodded.

"I know it is. The best way I can describe it is when you were singing at our birthday party Friday. I felt them then. That's when I got sick."

"Baby, you might have gotten a touch of my virus that I can't seem to get rid of."

"No, this was different… like how I knew my mom had cancer," he said, his eyes tearing up at the memory.

"I – I never knew that."

"It was awful."

"I'm sure it was. Guys, I'm scared."

"We are too," Sam said, "But I know we can face this. Take the tests and then all of us can worry after we get the results."

Finn hugged them both tight and tried to find some courage within himself.

"Whatever happens we'll be ok."

Mercedes leaned on his shoulder.

"Finn, when you told me to be still yesterday – "

He knew what she was asking.

"No, I wasn't just talking to you."

Mercedes rose from the bed, clutching the pregnancy tests in her hands, and went into the bathroom.

**ooo**

Babies.

They needed love, family, and a home…

Mercedes was eighteen.

Not exactly an age of stability.

Her home was a cold mansion with gold walls. Her boyfriends were loving and supportive, but were they ready to be parents? Was she?

Both tests came out positive. Finn had been right. He felt what he felt and knew what he knew and that's all that mattered. Logic wasn't needed. Mercedes gripped the sink. She had plans to be a music teacher or singer, maybe work in a biochemical lab, her plans were all over the place, scattered about like mismatched socks, nothing went together. But it gave her hope, those crazy dreams, now they were gone.

They knocked on the door. Fists on wood, pounding, trying to get in, clean up the mess, and make things better.

"Baby, Cedes, come on sweetheart, open up, we have to talk about this."

What she wouldn't give to feel the menstrual blood flow.

"Do you want us to get Kurt?" Finn asked.

"I want you to get me another test! I mean how reliable can the merchandise from Larry's Mini-Mart be?"

Finn had gotten two different brands. Perhaps they were defective.

"Just let us in," Sam said, "Please, we need to talk about this."

"I was going to win a Grammy."

"Cedes…"

"My name was going to be in lights, remember? And then you said with so many lights, the place might catch on fire?"

Mercedes shut her eyes and saw her father dancing with her under her dreaming tree back when she was his princess before he drifted away into an air of indifference. He let her stand on his feet as fathers often do and he hummed an old Al Green song, smiling down at her like she was already a star.

_Daddy, I need you to come back_

As if hearing her silent request, Finn and Sam began singing to her through the door:

"_Oh let's, let's stay together_

_Lovin' you whether, whether_

_Times are good or bad, happy or sad_

Mercedes broke down in sobs. They knew her so well – and what she needed most when she was scared. With shaking hands she opened the door and fell into their arms.

"Please, God, I don't know what to do. What will we do?"

They provided no answers. Instead they led her to the bed and sat down with her between them, hugging her tight and rocking her. They just let her cry, because sometimes that's all you could do. And cry she did, she cried for herself and lost dreams, cried for their futures as well, what about Finn going to college and Sam's dreams of comic books and culinary school? Her tears gushed, spilling onto their shoulders and chest, her nose ran, and they didn't care. These boys who would become men way too soon, didn't care, they weren't going anywhere. They whispered to her, though she wasn't sure what they said, but it sounded like a string of "We love you's."

"I'm sorry, Finn, Sam, I'm –"

Sam grabbed her shoulders, shaking her a little.

"Are you crazy? Sorry for what? You've got our children inside of you."

"I know."

He looked at her for a moment, pulling away slightly. She hated that look in his eyes.

Finn touched her damp cheek.

"We'll figure this out."

"Is this why you didn't say anything before? You were afraid?"

"I didn't know how you would react. I tried to ignore it. But then I couldn't anymore. The feeling grew stronger."

She looked at them.

"Are you guys ready for something like this, right now?"

"Nobody is ever ready," Sam said, "You just deal with it as it comes."

"And what if you're not able to?"

Sam hung his head, his blonde hair became a wall between them.

"I am," he said, barely above a whisper, "We've talked about having kids."

Mercedes looked down at her hands. She knew what he wanted.

"But that was the future and not now. We haven't lived, not really."

"I've lived enough to last three lifetimes. I don't need anymore living, Mercedes," Sam said.

When he said her name, she felt a chill. He used her full name, not the playful nickname he bestowed upon her long ago at the beginning of their relationship. When they sat at the duck pond and held hands, feeling a new love grow between. He was pulling away from her.

"Sam, don't, please."

Finn reached for him.

"Sam?"

"What are you hoping for Finn?"

"We can't force a decision."

"I need some down time. I love you both so much," Mercedes said, kissing each of them softly on the lips, "But I need to think. To be alone."

"We can't leave you alone like this," Finn said.

"I'm not going anywhere. I just want to clear my head. Why don't you guys go for a drive or something? Everything feels too intense right now."

Finn's eyes filled with tears.

"You don't want us holding you?"

"No, sweetie, it's not like that at all. I need to look within myself. I love it when you hold me, you know that."

Sam hugged her to his side.

"We'll give you some space."

"Sam, I don't need space. I hate that word and you know it," then her voice broke, and she brushed away the tears, spilling from her eyes "This isn't about space. I want to think."

Sam and Finn hugged her close, kissing her, and she felt Sam rubbing her back three times as he always did. She was relieved. Perhaps he wasn't pulling away after all. Then they rose from the bed and as soon as they released her from their strong hold, she felt empty. She picked up her robe and slipped it on. Finn handed her an Ale-8.

"You could probably use this."

Mercedes smiled and opened the soda, and took a long drink from the brown glass bottle.

"Thanks."

He and Sam kissed her once more before getting dressed. Then they left her alone to face whatever truth she had buried inside her.

**ooo**

Sam took Finn's hand as they passed by Blaine and Kurt's room. They heard the sounds of lovemaking coming through their bedroom wall and drifting into the hallway. Blaine was yelling out something about a sword. For a second, Sam smiled and then he turned sober. Finn thought about the dream and said:

"She may not want to keep them."

Sam continued down the stairs, his hand firmly holding onto Finn's. They held hands until they were inside the car and Sam put the key into the ignition. He started the car and reached for Finn's hand again.

"Nothing is set in stone."

Finn nodded and kissed him. They rode in silence. Every opportunity he could, Sam held Finn's hand, squeezing it. The road was long and winding. Sunlight shined through the trees. Finn admired how carefree Sam looked with his hair blowing in the breeze, and his blue shirt open, exposing his hard chest and abs, but it was the way Sam loved, that Finn treasured the most, his ability to give his heart without question. He stared at his boyfriend and said:

"You would make a great father."

Sam grinned at the compliment. "So would you. And Cedes would make a kick ass mother."

"I know."

"I want my family," Sam said.

"Sam – "

"No, I can't pretend that's not what I want."

"Nobody is asking you to. But it's not just your decision."

"I've loved Cedes ever since I asked her to dance at prom. I'm not giving up and deserting her or you, I just, my heart is breaking, you know? Cause I know that there is a possibility that it's not meant to be right now."

"Think about what we would be giving up," Finn said, looking over at him and touching his cheek, "You can't pretend like this isn't huge."

"Think about what we would be gaining."

Finn stared out the window. They passed by fruit stands and country stores selling sweet corn and homemade cherry cider. All of the houses were old but well kept, with hand painted mailboxes and blooming flowerbeds, his mother would drool over those flowers.

"This town is pretty."

"Yeah it is. Kinda reminds me of Bethel Rock."

"Say if everything happens like you want it to, will we ever find a town to accept us and our kids?"

Sam didn't say anything at first. He just kept driving, his green eyes fixed on the endless road before him.

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Well?"

Sam sighed and rolled down the window, letting the country fresh air fill the car.

"I'll find a way. I don't give up. Never have. Never will. I'll protect my family. You think I would put Cedes or you in any harm's way? In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a fighter."

"Oh I've noticed. I'll be right beside you fighting too."

"I know you will."

"No matter what she decides, we have to stand by her," Finn said.

Sam glanced at him.

"So what do you want, Finn?"

"Honestly, I want to keep them. I want to be a father. But I'm scared. We're only 18. We don't know anything. Our lives would change forever. Any plans we had are gone. I don't know. I don't even feel like an adult. And Mercy, she gets the worst of it in a way, I want her to want this too, but if she doesn't, I'm afraid she'll feel guilty and not want to disappoint us. Everything is so messed up."

"I think it's funny how we're just accepting that it's more than one baby. I wish I understood how you're so certain."

Finn shrugged his shoulders.

"My grandmother always said that if you can't explain something and it still makes sense, just go with it. No use trying to figure it out. Anyway, I love Mercy just as much as you do. I don't want her to feel like she has to do anything except what she feels is right."

Sam was quiet for a moment then said:

"I'm never leaving her side. My heart wouldn't let me do a thing like that. I love her too much. She's got my all. I only wish we could have this now. It feels right to me like holding the two of you in my arms. Things happen for a reason."

Suddenly, a deer crossed in front of them, and Sam swerved to miss it, but he hit the deer anyway, and it landed on the side of the road, Finn felt the impact in his chest, and for a second he couldn't breathe. The car skidded then stopped, crashing into a guardrail, thrusting them forward. Finn could only see trees and light. Their airbags deployed. Chemical dust particles filled the air. He was still for a few seconds. Then he reached for Sam. His eyes were closed and he was slumped forward.

"Sam, Sam are you ok? Come on, you gotta answer me, Sam?"

"I'm fine, I just… what just happened?"

Finn was so relieved hear his voice and see his eyes open.

"You hit a deer," Finn said and then unbuckled his seatbelt, scooting toward him to hold him in his arms, "Your forehead is bleeding. Does anything hurt?"

"I must have hit the steering wheel. I'm fine. I'm shook up that's all," then he did something only Sam would do, he broke out his Elvis impression and said, "I'm all shook up uh, huh." He laughed but then winced at the pain it caused, "My head really hurts."

"I'm calling for help."

"Is the deer dead?"

"Probably."

"I want to check. I hate to think that – I need to see the deer."

"Sam, you're hurt. Lie still."

"I'm not that hurt," he said, sitting up straighter. He opened the car door and slowly got out. Finn got out as well and walked over to him. Sam had trouble keeping his balance; he wobbled a bit. Finn grabbed his arm.

"Will you stop being stubborn and stay still? There's nothing you can do," Finn said, pointing to the deer that lay on the ground before them: its black eyes were open and blinking, and its body trembled.

Sam pulled away from him and with careful steps, got closer to the deer.

"People always say you can't do anything. But there's always something you can do like, pray or sing, or just give a little peace."

"Sam, please, you're not well. Besides I heard you shouldn't touch a deer after you hit it."

"I'm ok, Finn."

He kneeled beside the deer and touched its head. The deer's eyes fluttered then closed. Its body became limp and then stopped moving. Sam continued petting the deer and whispering to it. Finn watched the scene before him, a wild haired blonde boy, kneeling beside a dead deer on the side of the road because he wanted to give it peace. Not knowing what to do, but sensing he was needed, Finn crouched down beside him, and Sam began to sing:

_As strong as you were, tender you go._

_I'm watching you breathing for the last time._

_A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,_

_I know what it means and I'll carry you home._

_I'll carry you home…_

His voice cracked as he sang. When he was finished, everything was silent. Finn hugged him.

"That was beautiful."

Sam said nothing. He kept his face pressed against Finn's chest, letting his tears soak through his t-shirt. Finn knew this was coming; Sam had been holding back, trying to be strong, now he was able to let go. They both stood up and leaned against the car.

"Sam, you don't have to hide from her or me."

"I know."

He held him awhile longer and then called the police. While they waited, he called Mercedes.

"Hi Finn. Is everything ok?"

At the sound of her sweet voice, Finn almost cried, but he held it together and said:

"We had an accident."

"Oh no! I'm coming for you, are you hurt? How's Sam?""

"Angel, calm down. Both of us are fine. The car is pretty messed up."

"I don't care about the car. I only care about you and Sam!"

Sam stood up and touched Finn's shoulder.

"May I talk to her?"

Finn handed him the phone.

Sam spoke to her briefly and reassured her that he was fine and that he loved her before handing the phone back to Finn, who spoke to her awhile longer before Blaine got on the phone.

"Hey, where exactly are you guys?"

"We're not too far from the Snack Shack."

"I know where that is. We'll be there soon. Mercedes is freaking out. Kurt is trying to calm her down. She keeps saying it's her fault for making you two leave. What the hell happened this morning?"

Finn sighed.

"It's a long story. Let me speak to her again."

When Mercedes was on the line again, Finn said:

"Mercy, please, this isn't your fault."

"I asked you and Sam to leave and if I hadn't done that none of this would have happened."

"Sweetheart, it was an accident. Please calm down."

Sam took the phone from him.

"Cedes, you listen to me. We're alive. Everything is going to be ok. You didn't cause this to happen. We love you so much, baby, now I need you to breathe."

Finn noticed that Sam's face had grown pale and he was speaking slower than usual.

He touched his arm.

"Sam? Are you feeling ok you look –"

Before Finn could finish speaking, Sam collapsed and dropped the phone. He lay on the gravel, his blonde hair fanned out around his head, shining in the sunlight. It looked like he was sleeping. Blood trickled from his nose. Finn heard Mercedes crying as he fell to his knees beside Sam and tried to revive him.

He lightly slapped Sam's face.

"Sam, Sam, please wake up, babe, the police will be here soon… come on, Sammy, don't play around, is this another one of your bad impressions?"

He put his head to his chest, the angel necklace peeked out from behind his open blue shirt. They needed an angel right about now. His heartbeat was barely there. He picked up the phone.

"Cedes, Sam just passed out. I can't get him to wake up. I want you to pray while I call 911. Pray really hard. I need your strength and so does Sam. I love you, now I gotta hang up. Tell Kurt and Blaine to hurry up!"

"Oh my God, Finn, oh god, I'm praying. Hold him close, Finn, don't let go of him, I'm holding him too."

Finn broke down and sobbed.

"I know you are, Mercy. I know you are."

* * *

**End Notes: **Don't worry, I'm already working on the next chapter. There is more to come. Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

_**CHAPTER 17**_

_**SUMMARY: **__Mercedes and Finn deal with Sam's mother and the aftermath of the car accident. Mercedes considers her options about the pregnancy._

_**RATING: **__Mature_

_**WARNING:**__ Dark themes dealing with child sexual and physical abuse, teen pregnancy, and homophobia. Please read with discretion._

_**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**__ Thanks for all the reviews! I appreciate it!_

* * *

_**THREE MARBLES**_

Finn held on for as long as he could, watching the blood trickle from Sam's nose, feeling the warmth slowly leave his limp body. He kissed his forehead and rocked him, as he shifted him in his arms, three marbles fell out of Sam's pocket: one blue, one yellow, and one orange. He carried those marbles everywhere; they were the same ones he played with as a little boy in Tennessee. He said keeping them gave him hope because they always reminded him of all the stories he conjured up just to escape his father's abuse. The marbles landed in the gravel, and Finn scooped them up and put them in his pocket for safekeeping.

"Come on, Sammy," he said, "We need you here with us."

Everything around Finn remained the same. The wind blew softly through the trees. The shattered glass from the windshield sparkled in the sunlight. The deer lay near the guardrail, it's eyes shut in a peaceful death… but now all those things drifted from Finn's reach, and he could only see and feel Sam. His eyes, his hair, even his smell. Part of Finn's world was dying.

_Mercy…_

He said her name silently. That was the angel they needed.

**ooo**

Mercedes placed a protective hand over her belly, willing herself to stay calm, as Blaine drove over the speed limit to get to Finn and Sam. She heard Finn's voice calling to her and she answered.

_I'm with you, baby, I'm right there with you. Hold on._

She touched her birthday locket and said another prayer.

**ooo**

Finn wanted to punch the doctor. He imagined slamming his fist into his face and watching the man tumble to the floor in slow motion. They stood in the hallway of the ER. Stretchers whizzed past them and orderlies were pushing patients in wheelchairs. The air smelled of disinfectant and sanitizer. Nobody paid much attention to the giant, unruly teenage boy and his girlfriend. They both felt like their lives had ended as they stared at the doctor with hope slipping from their hearts.

"So you're saying you have no idea what's wrong with him?"

The doctor sighed. He was a tall man with white hair and a thin nose; his nametag said Dr. Charles Rhoden. He had a grandfather look about him. Under different circumstances, Finn probably would've liked him.

"Young man, please have patience – "

"But he was fine! He was talking and doing a bad Elvis impression then he was on the ground and he wouldn't wake up… I couldn't get him to wake up!"

Mercedes placed a calming hand on his arm.

"Baby, I'm sure they're doing the best they can."

"That's not enough, Mercy," Finn said, though her touch was comforting, he felt angry and helpless, he then turned to Dr. Rhoden, "We've been here an hour and nobody can tell us anything."

"We're doing everything we can. I promise you. I'll be blunt. Head injuries are serious. His condition is critical right now, but I'm certain that will change."

Finn stared down at the white tiled floor then looked up at the doctor.

"You see we love him and we're… we just need answers," Finn said, his voice quivering, he put his arm around Mercedes, "We have to see him. He needs us. Can we see him now?"

As Dr. Rhoden was about to respond, a nurse came running up to him; she was a short, chunky woman, with a double chin; her frizzy brown hair was pulled back in a lopsided ponytail. Her nametag said Clodell Jinks, RN.

"Dr. Rhoden, we just got two gun shot wound victims. They look pretty bad!"

"Thanks, Clodell, I'm coming," he said and looked over at Finn, "Please keep your spirits up and have patience. We're doing everything we can for Steve."

"His name is Sam!"

The doctor turned crimson. He mumbled an apology and hurried off to tend to the gunshot victims. As Clodell was about to walk away, Finn reached for her arm.

"Could you please take us to see Sam Evans, they brought him in here over an hour ago. He has blonde hair."

Clodell thought for a moment then looked down at her clipboard.

"Is he a teenager?"

"Yes," Mercedes said, "We need to see him. What room is he in?"

She clutched her clipboard to her chest.

"Are you all kin?"

"No, but – "

"Well, I'm sorry but only immediate family can see him."

"Can't you forget the rules? Just this once? We're all he has. His mother is driving down from Ohio, and won't be here for a while. Please," Mercedes said, but Clodell merely shook her head.

"Only family can see him. That's hospital policy."

Finn took a step toward her.

"We are his family! He gets scared when he wakes up alone. He can't wake up alone, he needs us!" Mercedes loved how he refused to give up; this was a fight he intended to win.

Clodell backed away from Finn's imposing frame and gazed up at him.

"When his mother arrives, she can authorize you. But now you will just have to wait."

Mercedes held his hand and looked at Clodell; she tried to reason with her.

"You have to do this. We can't wait. Sam needs our strength, and we can't give it to him out here."

Just then an elderly woman walked past, clinging to a nurse and dragging an IV stand with her. She almost bumped into Clodell, who stepped aside and let her pass, afterwards she asked Mercedes:

"What exactly is he to you?"

"He's her boyfriend," Finn said, "See look at the necklace he bought for her." He pointed to the birthday locket. "At least let her go see him, please."

Clodell put her hand on her hip.

"And how do you fit in?"

"I'm - well - I'm his friend."

Finn was doing everything in his power to make sure they got to Sam even if it meant he had to stay behind.

"You're an awfully concerned friend," Clodell said through narrowed eyes, "Ok, she can go back to see him."

Finn held both her hands in his.

"Mercy, this is for the best. I can't bear to have him back there alone and neither can you, this way at least one of us can hold him."

Mercedes began to cry.

"No, I want you there too. He needs you. I need you."

Clodell tapped her foot against the floor.

"I have lots of patients to tend to. So, are you coming are not?"

Finn hugged her.

"Go on, Mercy. I'll wait here. He'll know I'm there with you, even though I'm not in the room."

"No!"

"Young lady, I suggest you lower your voice," Clodell said shaking her head at the outburst. Mercedes grabbed her arm, squeezing the quivering, pale flesh.

"I don't care! I know we're just a couple of kids to you, but we have rights, now you let us see him together or you'll have hell to pay!"

Finn and Mercedes stood together, arms linked, facing the brick wall named Clodell, and it slowly crumbled as she stared at them. Finally, she relented.

"Alright, come along, but you can't stay for more than fifteen minutes."

* * *

_**THE BOY WE REMEMBER**_

They followed Clodell down the long hallway. Finn kept his arm around Mercedes as she stared at the pink teddy bears that covered Clodell's uniform. For a brief moment, she wondered what a pattern like that would look life for a baby's layette. After walking for what seemed like forever, they finally reached his room. Clodell slowly opened the heavy door, and then there was Sam.

Mercedes gripped Finn's hand as they walked over to his bed. He looked too pale. Tubes were stuck in his arms. Where was Sam? This couldn't be the boy who swore up and down that he was a fighter and swam naked in the moonlight the night before. Even his hair looked dull as if the hospital walls had taken away its shine. Mercedes wanted to speak but the words just couldn't come out. Clodell watched them with suspicious eyes. Finn's face showed no emotion, he turned to Clodell and said:

"Could you leave us alone please? We need privacy."

Mercedes expected her to protest, the way she stood there, but she only nodded and left the room.

"He's sleeping," Mercedes said, "We need to be here when he wakes up." She touched Sam's forehead, her fingers grazed over the scar he got as a little boy when he fell out of a tree pretending to be Superman. He thought he could fly.

"When she comes back, we aren't going anywhere. I don't care what kind of stink she tries to make, we aren't going anywhere, understand Mercy?" Finn said.

"I may as well be chained to the bed," she said as she leaned down and kissed Sam's cheek, "do you hear that baby? We're staying put, now you go on and fight so we can go home. We love you so much. Whatever light you're walking into you need to turn around ok?"

Finn went to the other side of the bed and held Sam's hand.

"You're safe now," he said, "We got you."

Together he and Mercedes held his hands and spoke to him, telling him of their love for him and how much he mattered in their lives. When Clodell returned, she brought a cot with her.

"You're probably going to need this," she said, placing the cot in the corner, "In case one of you gets tired." Then she was gone.

Mercedes was relieved at her change of heart.

"I wonder what changed her mind?"

Finn looked at her with sad eyes.

"I don't know. But I'm glad she did."

They sang to Sam until their voices grew hoarse, and then they whispered prayers, holding back tears, that inevitably spilled from their eyes. And Sam remained sleeping under their loving watch. They lay on either side of him and she and Finn placed their hands over his, creating a bridge over his heart, connecting them all together.

"Mercy?" Finn whispered.

"Yes?"

"I want you to get some sleep, ok? Close your eyes. You need rest."

"You're more tired than I am."

"Not really. Now go on and close your eyes."

Though she tried to fight it, she knew Finn was right. Her eyelids grew heavy and soon she fell asleep.

* * *

_**THE MORNING AFTER**_

When Mercedes woke up, she heard voices.

"So when will my son wake up? What's wrong with him?"

"Mrs. Evans, we don't know," a deep male voice answered her.

Mercedes yawned and rubbed her eyes. Someone had opened the curtains and sunlight flooded the room. Mrs. Evans and Dr. Rhoden stood at the foot of the bed. Sam slept beside her, her arm was flung across his chest. The life monitor beeped. Clodell was changing his IV bag. Finn was gone.

"Where's Finn?" she asked no one in particular.

Mrs. Evans looked at her. She was thinner than Mercedes remembered; the red windbreaker she wore was about two sizes too big for her waifish body, her hair was pulled back in a bun, and her eyes were bloodshot.

"He's over there," she said pointing to the cot.

Mercedes saw him curled up on the tiny cot, snoring away. She wondered why he didn't stay in the bed with her and Sam. She stretched her arms. Mrs. Evans stared at her.

"What the hell happened?"

A bit taken aback by her tone Mercedes said, "I wasn't there. Sam and Finn went for a drive and they hit a deer. He was fine at first but then he collapsed. That's all I know."

"I never should have let him come to Kentucky," Mrs. Evans said, then she looked at Dr. Rhoden who stood there awkwardly, "I want you to tell me if my son is going to die. I need to know now."

"Mrs. Evans, your son has suffered a traumatic brain injury when he hit his head, we need for him to wake up, which I believe he will. He's young and I think he will pull through. We did a CT scan, and found some swelling and bleeding on his brain, so I want to keep him here for treatment once he wakes up."

"For how long?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't know. It's hard to say."

"Is it ok for her to be in the bed with him like that?" Mrs. Evans asked, staring at Mercedes with disdain.

"It's fine. I think it helps. Human touch is powerful," Dr. Rhoden said as he patted her on the shoulder, "I need to finish my rounds. Please stay positive Mrs. Evans," he then glanced over at Clodell who was updating Sam's chart, "Clodell, we need to check on Mr. Peterson, are you ready?"

"Yes, just give me second," she finished writing her notes and then with a polite nod toward Mercedes and Mrs. Evans, they left the room.

Though it was hard for her to do, Mercedes got up from the bed. She hated not holding Sam, but she wanted to avoid antagonizing his mother any more than she already had.

Mrs. Evans pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed. She reached for Sam's hand and held it.

"So he hit a deer?"

Mercedes nodded.

"Yes, that's what happened."

"You have to be careful on those country roads," she said, as she stroked her son's hand, "You love my baby?"

"I love him very much."

Mrs. Evans sighed.

"I guess you do since you held him all night… Traffic was horrible coming here, I thought I would never get here, I kept thinking, what if he dies and I'm not there to hold him? Tell my baby that I love him? I cried so much coming here, that when I got here, I had no tears left. Then I saw you holding him and I wanted to hold him too and I just, I don't know." She stopped talking as the tears flowed from her eyes, "I guess I do have tears left."

Mercedes grabbed the box of tissues from the nightstand next to the bed and handed them to her.

"We've been praying," she said.

Mrs. Evans took the tissues and wiped her eyes.

"You know, Sammy was raised in the church. That boy could quote scriptures like a preacher, but then… well things changed. They always do," she gestured toward Finn, who still slept on the cot in the corner, "He's a heavy sleeper."

Mercedes smiled.

"Yes, he can sleep through anything."

"Why is he here?"

"He was worried."

"I'm not used to boys being so close."

Mercedes looked down at her feet. She knew that Mrs. Evans was clueless about the three of them together, but now wasn't the time to tell her. Just then Finn moved about on the cot and opened his eyes, he yawned and sat up, squinting through the harsh sunlight, he greeted them with a crooked smile.

"Good morning ladies."

Mercedes walked over to him and she could tell he was going to pull her down for a hug and kiss, but she stopped him, by patting him on the head as if he were a puppy. Finn was confused at first, he raised his eyebrows, and Mercedes gave a little shake of her head.

"Did you sleep ok?"

Suddenly it registered to him what she was doing so he played along.

"Yeah, I slept fine," he said as he stood up, "Mrs. Evans how are you doing? I know this must be difficult."

"I'm here. That's all I can say." She turned back to Sam and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm going to the cafeteria, did either of you want anything?" Finn asked, his hand resting on the doorknob.

"I'm fine," Mrs. Evans said, "But I would like time alone with my son. Mercedes, would you mind going with him?"

"Sure."

Once she and Finn were out in the hallway, he grabbed her and hugged her close.

"Now this is the good morning that I wanted," he said as he kissed her lips, "I hate not being out in the open about all of us."

She held him tight.

"Me too."

"So what did the doctor say?"

"He suffered a traumatic brain injury, but he thinks he'll pull through. When he wakes up he'll need to stay for treatment"

Finn put his arm around her as they headed toward the elevator.

"I want him to wake up."

"That's what we all want. I believe that he will," she hesitated then said, "Mrs. Evans didn't like me holding Sam."

He pushed the up button.

"Why?"

"She feels like it's her place and not mine. But she knows I love him. I think she's on edge like all of us are. First Stacey, now Sam."

The elevator doors finally opened and they got on. The night before one of the nurses told them that the cafeteria was on the second floor. Mercedes pushed the second floor button and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. Damn, she was tired. The hospital bed left little room for her to stretch out and all of her muscles ached. Finn began to caress her face and then he massaged her shoulders. Mercedes moaned.

"That feels so good."

"You've got a lot of tension."

Her eyes popped open at a sudden thought she had.

"Why didn't you stay in the bed with me and Sam?"

"There really wasn't enough room for the three of us and you almost fell out of the bed."

"I did? I don't even remember."

"You were knocked out, sweetie. I'm glad I woke up in time before you hit the floor. So I decided to sleep on the cot. It's probably a good thing that I did."

The cafeteria was bright and cheerful with yellow walls and square white tables with matching chairs. Mercedes was relieved that it wasn't too crowded; she wasn't in the mood for a bunch of noisy diners. The line moved quickly. She smelled bacon and eggs, and it made her sick. They stood close together in line, with Mercedes holding the edge of Finn's t-shirt. She decided to get a fresh fruit cup and a wheat bagel with cream cheese. Finn only got a large coffee and a cinnamon bun.

"Finn, are you sure you don't want anything else? They have Western omelets and you love those."

Finn handed the cashier the money for the food.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm not really hungry."

Mercedes rubbed his back and said nothing. They found an empty table near the window. Finn took her hand and blessed the food and asked God to watch over Sam. Mercedes squeezed his hand and felt fresh tears come into her eyes.

"Amen," she whispered.

When she opened her eyes, Finn leaned over and dabbed her cheeks with a napkin, wiping away the tears. They ate in a pleasant silence, sometimes holding hands or stealing a few brief kisses. Mercedes nibbled on her bagel, forcing herself to eat as much as she could. She needed her strength. Finn kissed her cheek.

"We should buy you some pre-natal vitamins. I remember Quinn saying it was important to take them."

Mercedes stared down at the table.

"If I ask you something, will you promise to be honest with me?"

"Mercy, you know I would never lie to you. What is it?"

"What was your first reaction when you thought Quinn was pregnant with your baby?"

Finn took a sip of coffee and thought for a moment.

"Well, I was scared, kinda like I am now. Deep down inside, I was hoping she was wrong and that it was all a joke or just a bad dream. But with you it's different."

"How?"

"With you I want it to be real. I love you. That's the difference. I see a future with you and Sam."

"Finn, I don't know what I want to do yet. But I do know that I don't want to terminate the pregnancy. I have a feeling that you were wondering about that."

Finn took a deep breath and exhaled.

"It crossed my mind. I prepared myself for any decision you made. Me and Sam are going to stick by you no matter what."

At the mention of Sam's name, Mercedes choked up a bit. She put her hand on her belly, and then Finn reached over and did the same. Their fingers intertwined and rested across her abdomen. She stared into his eyes.

"I want what's best for them. I need to do some soul searching."

"I know."

"I'm scared to tell my parents. Especially my mother."

"You always have a home with us."

Mercedes looked down at their hands.

"Yes, but I feel like I've imposed enough already. What are Burt and Carol going to say?"

"I don't know. I'm sure they'll adjust. They love you."

"Speaking of them, what did they say when you called them?"

"They freaked out. They will be here later this afternoon. Kurt and Blaine should be here soon. I got a text from them.

"I hate that they had to spend all that time in the waiting room yesterday."

Finn took a bite of his cinnamon bun.

"Yeah, I know. It's not like Clodell was going to let them through; she barely allowed us. That was a miracle."

"Maybe we can tell Mrs. Evans to give permission for them."

"Good idea."

They finished eating and headed back to Sam's room.

* * *

_**FAMILY IS BLOOD**_

When they opened the door, Mrs. Evans was no longer there.

"She's probably in the bathroom," Mercedes said.

Finn knocked on the bathroom door.

"Mrs. Evans?"

There was no answer.

"I guess she stepped out for a minute," Finn said, and he walked over to the bed, touching Sam's cheek.

"Good morning, babe. You still hanging in there?"

Sam just lay there with the sunlight shining on his sickly pale skin. Finn gently smoothed down his blonde hair, attempting to untangle the long locks.

"We need to comb his hair."

Mercedes fished around in her purse and found a comb.

"Here you go," she said, handing it to him.

Finn hummed Amazing Grace as he combed Sam's hair. He started at the bottom and slowly worked his way up to the root, removing all of the knots and tangles. Mercedes watched with tears in her eyes, her vision becoming blurry. She slipped away into the bathroom and shut the door, sitting on the toilet; she held her face in her hands and sobbed as quietly as she could. When she was finished, she splashed cold water on her face and as she opened the door, she heard Mrs. Evan shout:

"Just what in hell do you think you're doing kissing my son!"

She pushed Finn away from the bed.

"Mrs. Evans, please let me explain," Finn said as he moved away from her. She looked as though she wanted to slap him.

"Get out!"

"Mrs. Evans – "

"I said get out of here!"

Mercedes touched her arm.

"Please don't throw him out. There's something you don't understand."

"What's there to understand? I leave and come back to find this idiot kissing my son on the cheek and combing his hair. What kind of sick crap is that?" She looked over at Finn, "I always knew there was something weird about you. I just couldn't put my finger on it!"

"I'm his boyfriend!"

"What the hell did you just say?"

"Mrs. Evans," Finn said, taking a deep breath, "Me, Mercedes and Sam are in a relationship. Sam had been meaning to tell you."

Mrs. Evans sat down in the chair next to the bed. She was in a daze. She slowly shook her head.

"I don't believe it."

"It's true," Mercedes said, "The three of us are in a relationship and we love each other very much."

"You know, at first, I didn't understand why you were his girlfriend. Then he sang your praises and Stacey and Stevie adored you, so I learned to accept you. I even _liked_ you. Everything about you was good. But this – this is so sick and twisted and bizarre – it goes against everything I believe in."

Finn spoke up.

"Mrs. Evans, we're in a relationship. It isn't sick or twisted or anything bad."

Her eyes grew wide, and she made a sound that resembled something between laughter and crying.

"I should've been paying more attention to him. But Stacey's illness took everything I had. Now look what's happened," she gazed up at Finn and said, "How can you believe this is normal? Is Sam bisexual, is that what you two are telling me?"

Mercedes pulled up another chair from the corner of the room and sat down beside her.

"We love Sam. And he loves us. It's that simple."

Mrs. Evans turned to face her.

"You act all nice, and speak like you were born with a silver spoon, but underneath it all, you're nothing but a whore. No amount of sweet words or fine gestures can change that."

Mercedes gripped the sides of her chair. Her mind instantly went to that awful night in Lima Park at the beginning of the summer. That's how people labeled her. Finn came over and kneeled beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I don't care what you call me. But you won't speak to her like that. Mercedes has done so much for your son… you can't even imagine what's she's done for us."

Mrs. Evans jumped out of her chair, pointing her finger at Mercedes.

"Oh, I can imagine what she's done. Any slut could tell me that!"

Finn stood up, positioning himself between the two women. Looking down at Sam's mother," he said:

"Stop it! She's no more a slut than you are a saint!"

"How could you do this to Sam? Drag him into this filth? He was a good kid!"

"He still is," Mercedes said, standing up and staring into her cold gray eyes, "He's so good in fact that he wants to forgive you."

"What are you talking about?"

"We know everything that happened to him."

Mrs. Evans folded her skinny arms and pursed her lips.

"Such as?"

"Reverend Barnes," Finn said, "Sam told us everything."

She looked away from their imploring eyes and gripped the chair.

"Family business stays in the family."

"We are his family," Mercedes said.

"You are not his family!"

"We hold him every time he's breaking. When is the last time you held your son? Or told him you loved him?" Mercedes asked, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall, "It shouldn't take an accident to do those things."

"How dare you judge me? I do right by my son!"

Mercedes shook her head and closed her eyes, thinking of all the nightmares they lived through with Sam. When he woke up screaming, and she and Finn rocked him in their arms until he fell asleep again, she always wondered why his mother let it happen. How could she stand by and allow her child to be brutalized every day? After a few seconds she opened her eyes and glared at Mrs. Evans.

"Yeah, you did so right by your son that you stood by and watched him be abused."

Mrs. Evans took a step closer toward Mercedes, but Finn stayed in the space between them, thwarting her attempts at any physical contact.

"I'm not to blame!" she shouted.

"If you're not to blame then who is?"

"You have a lot of nerve judging me like you are. I love my son. You think this - this thing or whatever it is you three are in makes you family? It doesn't. Family is blood. And my blood runs through his veins. You need to know your place."

"She does know her place," Finn said, taking Mercedes' hand and squeezing it," her place is the same as mine, with Sam. Like it or not, we love each other. Nothing will change that."

"You're mistaken. I won't let this continue. Whatever you had is over. I want out you both to get out of here, now!"

"We aren't leaving. We're staying right here. Sam needs us," Finn said, "I don't care what you think of us or our relationship, but we're staying until he wakes up."

"I'm calling security!"

Suddenly, the door opened and Clodell walked in, shooting all of them an angry glare.

"This is a hospital. Please respect that. I could hear all of you yelling way down the hall, and its disruptive to the other patients."

"I want these two out of here," Mrs. Evans said, pointing to Finn and Mercedes," and don't allow them to come back into my son's room. They're doing more harm then good."

"You can't stop us from seeing Sam. He needs us!" Mercedes said, "You're only hurting him."

Clodell looked at them, sizing up the situation. She walked over to Mercedes and patted her shoulder.

"We have to accept her wishes. She is his mother, after all. I'm sorry, but that's how things are."

"Can we at least say good-bye?"

"No, just get out. I've had enough of you ruining my son," Mrs. Evans said.

Finn put his arm around Mercedes and stared at Mrs. Evans, who stood there, with her hands on her hips, waiting for them to leave.

"You used to sing songs about mermaids," he said.

Mrs. Evans looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Excuse me?"

"Sam said you used to sing and tell stories."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Mercedes also wondered where Finn was going with all of this, but she kept her mouth shut, and let him speak.

"This isn't who you are."

"Oh it isn't? What do you know? You're some dumb, sexually confused kid, that's been taking advantage of my son."

"I know enough to see that you love him as much as we do, but you've been in pain so long, that you can't feel anything at all."

"You're wrong. I feel everything. You think I'm numb when I all can do is barely hold it together when I see Sam lying there helpless? You think I don't feel anything? How could you? My heart is cut down the middle and you have the nerve to say I don't feel. Just get out before I kill you," Mrs. Evans whispered as she took a few steps closer so that she stood right in front of Finn, "I've had all I can take."

But Finn wouldn't let up.

"We've had all we can take too. You're wrong about everything. What about Stevie and Stacey? All the time we spent with them this summer? They love us and we love them."

"If I had known what was really going on, I would've never let you come to the hospital. Now that I know, I want you both to stay away from them too. You've done enough damage as it is."

"And what damage is that?" Mercedes asked, "Loving your son and his brother and sister?"

Mrs. Evans sighed and shook her head; she stared at Mercedes for a few moments, her gray eyes examining her face.

"You were a such nice girl. I actually liked you more than Quinn. How did you turn into this?"

Mercedes gripped Finn's hand for support.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I didn't turn into anything. This is who I am and I'm not ashamed of myself or who I love."

Clodell opened the door.

"Come along kids, it's time you left. I can't have anymore disruptions on my floor."

As Finn led Mercedes out of the room, Mrs. Evans said:

"Whatever you think is right or wrong doesn't matter. I'm his mother and I know what's best for him. If you loved him as much as you say you do, then you'll stay away from him."

Nothing else was said. Finn and Mercedes walked out the door with Clodell following close behind them.

Once they were in the hallway, Mercedes allowed herself to sob in Finn's arms.

Clodell reached into her pocket and handed her a packet of tissues.

"I know this is the wrong time to say this, but I'm going to have to ask that you not come back to visit Sam. Mrs. Evans was pretty clear that she doesn't want you around him. I'm really sorry, but we can't have any more incidents like we had this morning."

"We understand," Finn said.

Clodell gave them an apologetic smile and walked away.

"What do we do now?" Mercedes asked.

"It's gonna be ok, Mercy, I promise, we'll get through this," he said hugging her close and stroking her hair.

"But how? She won't let us see him. We couldn't even say good-bye. Why couldn't we say good-bye? He's in that hospital bed. When he wakes up, oh Finn he's gonna -"

"Baby, we'll figure something out. He won't wake up alone."

The sadness ate away at Mercedes' heart and then she thought of the babies growing inside her.

"What about –-"

Finn glanced at her stomach and kissed the top of her head.

"We'll be fine."

**ooo**

When they got to the waiting room, they found Blaine and Kurt there along with Burt and Carol. They all sat on the couch talking quietly and sipping coffee from white Styrofoam cups. When his parents spotted him, they quickly set down their drinks, stood up, and opened their arms. Something about their concerned faces and his mother's soft, hazel, eyes, made him feel vulnerable and he began to cry.

"He's still not awake," he said, holding his mother close, "It's awful."

His mother's hair always smelled like apples, the familiar scent comforted him. Burt rubbed his shoulder.

"Son, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"How is his mother holding up?" Carol asked.

Finn didn't want to talk about how Sam's mother wanted to keep them apart. They had been through enough. Instead he said, "She's doing as well as we are."

Mercedes sat down between Kurt and Blaine on the couch, and they hugged her.

"Diva, I'm sorry you're going through this," Kurt said as he kissed her cheek and wiped her tears with a blue silk handkerchief.

Mercedes hiccupped then said, "Me too. Why is this happening?"

Finn released himself from his parents' embrace and sat down beside Mercedes; it was hard to be apart from her even for a few moments.

"Mercy, we should get going. You need your rest."

As they helped her off the couch, Blaine said, "All of you are welcome to stay at the house as long as you like. My parents won't care. Besides it's not like Star Pride has a lot of great hotels."

"Thank you, Blaine," Carol said giving him a hug, "We're pretty beat ourselves, I just want to take a quick nap."

"Same here," Burt said, taking his wife's hand, "Traffic was murder."

They all walked to the elevator, Finn pushed the button for the parking garage. Everyone was quiet as they waited. Finn enjoyed the silence; he couldn't tolerate idle chatter at the moment. He never let go of Mercedes' hand. They needed each other too much. When the elevator doors opened, they ran into Sam's mother who was getting off.

"Gayle, we're so sorry to hear about Sam." Carol said, reaching over and taking the other woman's hand. Mrs. Evans' eyes widened.

"Thank you. I was about to make a call, but could I speak with you two privately about Sam?" she said, "It will only take a moment."

"Sure, why don't we go into the lounge?" Carole said.

"Ok," Mrs. Evans said, "I promise I won't take up much of your time."

"No, worries Gayle," Burt said, as the three adults headed to the lounge leaving the kids behind by the elevator.

Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"Now what was that about?"

Finn leaned against the wall.

"She wants me and Mercy to stay away from Sam."

"Are you serious?"

"Oh, he's serious alright," Mercedes said, shaking her head, "She called me a whore and said we were sick and filthy."

"Hold up, how did she find out about you three being together?" Blaine asked

While Mercedes told the horrible story of how Mrs. Evans walked in and saw him kissing Sam, Finn stared at the floor, counting the tiles; he kept seeing Sam lying lifeless on the road, blood dripping from his nose. What if he never woke up?

When Mercedes was finished telling the story and had answered Kurt and Blaine's nosy questions, she nudged Finn's arm.

"Baby, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little out of it."

"You know when we get home, we should research head traumas," Kurt said, "It might help us understand what Sam is going through."

Finn nodded.

"That's a good idea."

A few minutes later, Burt and Carol returned. It took a while for Carol to get her words out without stammering.

"That woman – she, she … ohhh, I just can't believe – "

Burt put his arm around her.

"Calm down, girl, you're gonna pop a vein."

Finn stared at his mother; her cheeks were flushed red.

"So, I take it you know the deal, huh?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Mom, I just want to leave. Can we go now?"

Carol sighed.

"Ok, son, let's go."

When the elevator arrived, they all got on, and Mercedes rested her head on Finn's shoulder. He felt the marbles in his front pocket and his eyes welled up with tears. Carole and Burt discussed the conversation they had with Mrs. Evans. Finn caught bits of what they said, something about God, and right and wrong and Sam having a normal life… he closed his eyes and dreamed of that place where the three of them were together, wrapped in each other's arms, surrounded by love and children. He could see the house and feel the warm sunshine on his skin. He heard laughter and singing and all the good things in life, Finn knew he just had to keep believing and keep going, because really, there was nothing else to live for.

* * *

_**STILL I RISE**_

That evening Mercedes slipped away into the den to research information about adoption. Everyone else was in the living room playing cards and watching TV. Carol made meatloaf and potatoes for dinner and they all sat in the kitchen talking and eating, trying to keep up their spirits. Mercedes made sure she finished her food because she felt Finn's eyes on her, and she didn't want him to worry. Now she felt a slight wave of nausea and wondered if that was a good idea.

The den had cherry wood furniture and a large stained glass cathedral window that faced the butterfly garden. The shelves were filled with old books and there was a painting above the fireplace of Blaine's great grandparents, they sat on a gold velvet sofa, their faces immortalized on canvas with their dark eyes, creamy pale skin, and slight smiles that made them look peaceful.

His great grandmother had ruby lips and wore a diamond choker while his great grandfather's bushy mustache practically covered his mouth; he held his wife's hand as the two of them stared straight ahead. Mercedes got this eerie feeling that they were watching her, so she turned her back away from their judgmental gaze.

As she searched the adoption web sites, she found stories about how young mothers made the decision to give up their babies to families who could love and care for them. What kind of life could she give these babies anyway? Her boyfriends were wonderful, kind and caring, but they were just too young to raise a family. Their entire lives were ahead of them.

A part of her worried that it would be harder to place biracial children, but she pushed that thought aside, no matter what, they would make sure these babies got a good home. She printed out a lot of information and stuffed it into her purse. Mercedes didn't realize she was crying until she saw the tears splash against the keyboard. _Do I really want to give my children away?_

She found a site that had a 24-hour hotline for expectant teen mothers. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed the number.

An older woman answered.

"Caring Options Hotline. How may I help you?"

Mercedes couldn't speak at first. She was crying too hard. The woman seemed to understand because she said:

"It's always hardest the first time. I'm here as long as you need me. Go ahead and cry."

Her voice was kind like Carol's. Mercedes cried a few more seconds then she managed to say, "I found out I was pregnant yesterday. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do or how to do it."

"Well, that's what we're here for. Just so you know this is all confidential, so you don't even have to give me your real name."

For some reason, using a fake name appealed to Mercedes, and she said, "You can call me Mary."

"Ok, Mary, my name is Ellen, nice to meet you."

"Same here."

"That must have been a shock for you yesterday."

"It was. My boyfriend knew before I did."

"How does he feel about all of this?"

"Well, they'll support me no matter what decision I make."

"They?"

"I have 2 boyfriends. All of us are in a relationship together."

"Alright."

"You don't sound shocked or disgusted," Mercedes said thinking of Sam's mother.

"Your relationship is your relationship, and that's what works for you. No reason to judge. I'm here to listen and help you as much as I can. But it does beg the question of -"

"Who's the father?" Mercedes said.

"Yes."

"For us it doesn't matter. They will both be the father. That's how it works for us. Well how it did until yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?"

"They had a car accident and hit a deer. My boyfriend Sam, I mean Sal, hit his head and got a brain injury. He's in the hospital and I'm afraid he won't make it. Everything is awful."

"That's too much to have happen in one day. I'm sorry for the troubles you're going through."

"Thank you. So am I. But now I need to figure out what to do about the baby," Mercedes said, she almost slipped and said babies; but that was a secret that only the three of them shared, and she didn't want to let anyone else know about it.

Ellen cleared her throat.

"Well, you have 3 options. Abortion, adoption, and self-parenting."

Mercedes nodded and stared at the red panes of the stained glass window.

"Yes, I know. I'm trying to decide between the last two."

"Mary, you only found out just yesterday that you are pregnant and you're dealing with your boyfriend's injury. Don't think that you have to decide something tonight. It takes time."

Mercedes thought of Sam and how he resembled a corpse lying in that hospital bed. She started crying again.

"I can't do this! I'm drowning. Even though I still have Fin – I mean Frank, there are some things he doesn't understand or can never understand."

"Like what it's like to have a life growing inside you?"

"Yes. I don't know if I can be a mother."

"You have your whole life ahead of you and this decision can change everything. But you're not alone. If you like, I can give you information for you and your boyfriends for free counseling and resources. You also need go to the doctor as soon as you can. Since you plan on carrying the baby full term, you need to get a good obstetrician and know what to expect in the months ahead."

Mercedes sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"My boyfriend says I need to take pre-natal vitamins."

"He's right."

"You know he really loves me."

"I don't doubt that at all. Just so you know, a lot of young girls who call the hotline have boyfriends who tell them they should just get rid of the baby or don't offer any support at all. They're parents kick them out and they're left to fend for themselves. You sound like you have someone in your corner and that makes all the difference in the world. Have you told your parents?"

"No, I haven't. We don't get along. My mother hates me."

"I know it'll be difficult to do, but you need to let them know."

"I'm so scared Ellen. I've never been so scared in my life."

"Sweetie, we can talk all night, if you need to."

"You know sometimes it's so hard to hold on. You think you can deal with shit and then something like this happens… "

"Trust me, I've been there, and you can get through this, just take it one day at a time, one step at a time, and lean on as many people as you can," Ellen was quiet for a moment then she said, "Lying, thinking, last night how to find my soul a home -"

Mercedes' heart grew warm. She knew those words. Read them a thousand times. Yet this was different. It was lifting her out of the darkness and she said, "Where water is not thirsty. And bread loaf is not stone."

Somehow, she could hear Ellen smiling on the phone, when the older woman responded:

"I came up with one thing. And I don't believe I'm wrong."

Then together, the two of them recited:

"That nobody, but nobody, Can make it out here alone."

"Mary, I'm holding your hand. We may not know each other, but right here in this space, I'm holding your hand and you will get through, just because you don't see the other side doesn't mean it ain't there."

Mercedes closed her eyes and said, "Thank you."

She felt like she did when she was a little girl and she would go hide in her closet and wrap herself up in her favorite pink blanket and read The Borrowers with a flashlight shining on the tattered pages. That was her safe place, away from her cold mother and indifferent father, away from the mirrors that revealed her chubby body that repulsed her mother, in the closet, she had four walls that sealed her in against whatever pain she felt.

"Mary, are you still there?"

"I'm sorry. I'm still here."

"Good to know. So you like poetry?"

Mercedes smiled.

"I love it actually. When you started quoting Maya, I got this feeling like, well, it's hard to describe, but it gave me hope."

"I'm glad. That poem has gotten me through some rough patches. We all need each other some kind of way."

Mercedes laughed as she gripped the phone, "That's the whole truth."

"Do you feel a little better?"

"Yes, I do, I mean I'm still scared out of my mind and I have a lot to decide, but maybe I can do this."

"I'll keep you in my prayers," Ellen said

"Thank you. That means a lot."

They spoke for a while longer and Ellen gave her some numbers for free clinics and counseling in Ohio. After they said good-bye, Mercedes leaned back in the leather recliner and sighed. They had a long way to go.

* * *

_**FEELING YOU, FEELING ME**_

Finn woke up at midnight. The house was asleep, but he knew Mercedes needed him. He could feel it in his heart, spreading through his body, her silent pain that she hid from him, but what his Mercy didn't understand was that her pain became his. Out of respect for his parents, he didn't sleep in the same room with her that night. Kurt slept in a different room too. Though it was all for show because their parents had to have known, they still presented the façade of chastity anyway. Finn crept up the stairs and tiptoed down the hallway toward her room, and opened the door.

Mercedes was in the middle of the bed, curled up in fetal position, and what he saw next broke his heart: she had a large pillow on either side of her. One pillow had Sam's green t-shirt spread across it and the other had Finn's blue oxford draped over it.

He didn't care if his parents found them. She needed him. As he got closer, he heard her crying in her sleep.

"Please wake up, come on, wake up…" she murmured.

He crawled into the bed, tossed his "pillow" aside, and pulled her against his chest.

"Shhh, it's ok, Mercy. It's ok."

Her tears fell onto his bare chest, and then she suddenly woke up.

"Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"You're here."

"Where else would I be?"

She clung to him.

"It hurts. Make it stop hurting. Please."

He knew the pain she spoke of. It was the kind of pain that sliced through you, but never left you bleeding, instead it seeped deeper into your soul and twisted you inside out. He hugged her close, smoothing her hair.

"Hold onto me. I'm feeling this with you."

"Tell me Sam is still here. He's still with us, right?"

"Yes, he's with us. I know he is," Finn said, "His heart just slowed down, it hasn't stopped beating. And if you concentrate, you can still hear it. I know I can. Now listen, try real hard and listen."

Mercedes stopped shaking and looked up at him.

"He can't leave us."

"He won't. Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Trust me."

"Ok."

She closed her eyes.

"Now, what?"

"Focus on his light."

"I don't know how."

He lifted her chin.

"It's everything that makes him beautiful. The reasons we love him. Can you see that? Hold my hand and keep searching for it."

She gripped his hands and took a deep breath. He watched her tear stained face slowly drift into a serene expression.

"Mercy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you see it now?"

She nodded and leaned into him. He closed his eyes as well and together they reached for his light because it had to keep shining.

**ooo**

_Mercedes felt Sam holding her. He rubbed her back three times. Then she saw everything – those tiny flickers of light._

_His green eyes shining as he laughed at his own silly jokes._

_Dancing at the prom in that old suit and ridiculous bolo tie._

_Joining hands with her and Finn as they made love for the first time._

_Butterflies fluttering about in the morning sunlight._

_Soft touches, whispers, rain pouring on them as they ran for cover in a thunderstorm._

_Singing songs in her ear as she cried for what was broken inside her._

_She heard the notes of his guitar drifting into her bedroom._

_Then she heard the faint beating, yes, it was his heartbeat, slow, soft…_

_He was still there…_

"_Don't leave us," she whispered into the misty fog that was between dreams and reality. Finn was beside her._

_Sam grabbed their hands._

"_I won't."_

**ooo**

Her eyes flew open. Finn stared at her.

"Mercy?"

She stroked his cheek; he smiled a little, and kissed the palm of her hand.

"You heard it just like I did."

"It's still beating."

"I told you."

Mercedes lay her head on his chest.

"Stay with me."

"I wasn't planning on leaving."

"I know. I just wanted to hear you say it."

Finn smiled and kissed her lips.

"I know."

He reached under her nightgown and rubbed circles on her belly.

"How are you feeling?"

"I got sick after dinner."

"Oh."

"I feel ok now."

"Good," he said and reached down and kissed her stomach.

She ran her fingers through his hair.

"I researched adoption today."

Finn slowly lifted his head.

"Is that what you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"You could always talk to Quinn."

"I've thought about that. I probably will."

"Ok."

"Finn?"

"Yeah?

"We're going to get through this, right?"

Instead of answering her, Finn began to sing:

_Don't give up_

_You still have us_

_Don't give up_

_We don't need much of anything_

_Don't give up_

_Cause somewhere there's a place_

_Where we belong_

_Rest your head_

_You worry too much_

_It's going to be alright_

_When times get rough_

_You can fall back on us_

_Don't give up_

_Please don't give up…_

Not long after that, Mercedes fell asleep, but Finn stayed awake, watching over her until the early morning light filled the room.

* * *

_**PEPPERMINT TEA AND MILK DUDS**_

When Mercedes finally made it downstairs much later that morning, she found Carol sitting alone in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the Star Pride Gazette. She looked pretty in her sleeveless orange blouse and faded jeans; her wavy brown hair and hung loosely at her shoulders.

"Good morning sleepy head," she said, smiling at Mercedes, "I was beginning to get worried."

"Sorry for sleeping so late. I've just been tired."

Carol took another sip of coffee and then got up from the table.

"Let me fix you something."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. I just want to."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Mercedes stretched and opened the window above the sink, attempting to get rid of the scent of corned beef hash and pancakes that lingered in the kitchen; the aroma repulsed her. She sat down and breathed in the fresh air, and she noticed how quiet the house was.

"Where is everybody?" Mercedes asked.

"All the men of the house went fishing in the lake," Carol said as she took a loaf of bread out of the fridge. She put two slices in stainless steel toaster on the counter and then filled a red teakettle with water. Mercedes tried to picture Kurt putting bait on a hook and started laughing.

"I can't believe they talked Kurt into going fishing. He hates stuff like that."

Carol grabbed a speckled blue mug and a box of tea bags from the cupboard. She nodded in agreement.

"True, but apparently Blaine loves it so they convinced him to go. Burt is in heaven."

"What we do for love," Mercedes said quietly as she looked at her reflection in the polished oak wood table; her eyes were puffy.

Once the teakettle whistled, Carol poured the hot water into the mug and dropped in a tea bag. Then she put the toast on a small plate and sat everything in front of Mercedes.

"Peppermint tea and dry toast. I ate this every morning when I was pregnant with Finn. It helped my nausea."

Mercedes stared down at the meal, and looked up at Carol, who stood there watching her.

"How did you know? Did Finn tell you?"

"No, I just knew."

"Now I see where Finn gets it from."

"Gets what from?"

"His intuition," Mercedes said as she picked up a piece of toast and bit into it, "How long have you known?"

Carol joined her at the table.

"Actually, he gets that from his grandmother. Anyway, I figured it out yesterday. You seemed different. The constant sleeping and I heard you in the bathroom throwing up."

"Are you angry?"

"No, I'm not angry. I'm really disappointed. I thought all of you would be more careful. Have you told your parents?"

"I haven't told anyone. Not even Kurt. I just found out on Saturday."

Carol reached for her hand and held it.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?"

"Of course I have. I'm thinking about adoption."

"I see."

Mercedes took another bite of toast and sipped her tea. The food had a calming effect on her.

"If I decide to keep the baby, Finn will be a father to it regardless if he's actually the father or not. Are you ok with that?"

"I would be lying to say I'm completely on board with it, but I see how much he loves you and Sam, so whatever happens, I'll receive it with open arms."

"Sam wants me to keep the baby."

"You have to do what's right for you."

"I know and I will," Mercedes said, "I have to ask you something."

Carol squeezed her hand.

"What's that?"

"Well, do you wish that Finn wasn't in a relationship like this?"

She was quiet for a few moments before responding, finally she said:

"Yes, and it's not because I think you and Sam are bad people. I feel quite the opposite about the both of you. It's just that – what kind of life will you have? If you decide to keep the baby, how can you raise a child with three parents? And knowing how men are, they usually fight for dominance. Then there is the question of acceptance. How will you be treated out there in the world? It's a lot to take in at such a young age - at any age. All we ever want for our children is to lead happy, productive lives, and when we see that they may suffer, we want to protect them from that."

Mercedes stared into her half empty mug. The red rooster clock that hung on the wall next to the fridge, ticked off the minutes. Everything Carol said was true. Those same thoughts had crossed her mind as well. She felt Carol touch her cheek.

"I may not ever truly understand this relationship, but I care for you a lot and I don't want you to suffer either."

Mercedes blinked back a few tears, her eyes shifted to the white curtains that waved in the summer breeze.

"Yesterday Mrs. Evans asked me how I could do what I'm doing, how I could turn into _this, _she said I was a whore. I was a nice girl in her eyes and now that's changed. I have to know, how do _you_ see me?"

Carol cradled Mercedes' face between her soft hands and looked into her eyes.

"Despite my misgivings about your relationship, I do love you, Mercedes. I see a brilliant, beautiful, young woman who is kind, honest and nurturing. I swear the way you love those boys amazes and scares me all at the same time. You have so much to offer. Never let anybody try to make you into something less, you're better than that."

Mercedes hugged Carol, laying her head on the older woman's shoulder, letting the tears fall from her eyes.

"I needed to hear that."

"I know you did."

They held each other for a while until Mercedes pulled away.

"I can't stop thinking about Sam. We have to see him. Is there anything you can do to convince his mother?"

"I was angry yesterday, but now that I think about it, Gayle is doing what she thinks is best for her son. I know it's not right in our eyes, but as a mother, I see where she is coming from, though she's only hurting Sam in the end."

"I just want to hold him," Mercedes said.

Suddenly a butterfly flew into the kitchen, it's bright yellow wings fluttered about in the sunshine. It landed on Mercedes' shoulder, and stayed there for a few seconds before darting outside again. Carol leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"I know you do. When the boys get back, we'll go over to the hospital. I'll try to talk to Gayle again. I don't know if it will help, but it's worth a shot."

"It never hurts to try," Mercedes said as she drank the rest of the tea.

"If you need me to be with you when you tell your parents, I don't mind. Burt can come too. I understand that your relationship is difficult."

"Thank you. I just might take you up on that."

"Good, and I want you to know that you can keep staying with us, if you want to," Carol said as she rose from the table and started the dishwasher.

Mercedes smiled.

"Yeah, Finn let me know."

Carol returned her smile and began wiping down the counters.

"It's nice having you living with us."

"Really, why?"

"I live in a house full of testosterone, and sometimes I crave a little estrogen."

Mercedes chuckled as she finished the last piece of toast.

"Now that I'm pregnant, you may be getting an overdose, can you handle that?"

Carol stopped wiping the counters and looked over her shoulder with a thoughtful expression.

"I'm sure I can. I was once hormonal too. I cried when Finn's father forgot to buy me Milk Duds! I craved them throughout my pregnancy and you would've thought the world had ended when he came home empty-handed. After that he went to Sam's Club and bought like two huge boxes just to keep me from having a breakdown!"

"Milk Duds? Wow, that is hormonal!"

The two women laughed together in the sunny kitchen. Mercedes touched her birthday locket, and thought of the years to come. She had hope.

* * *

_**IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE**_

Sam heard strange voices.

"So how long has he been out?" a woman asked.

"Hard to say, I think since yesterday afternoon, poor kid," a man said.

"Do you think he'll make it?"

"Who knows? Sometimes they just die in their sleep."

_Die in their sleep? Where the hell was he?_

He tried to speak, but his voice escaped him.

"I'll check his vitals. You change the IV," the man said.

Sam wanted to move or scream or do something, anything that let these people know he was alive. He tried to move his arm but nothing happened.

"I have a grandson around his age," the woman said, "He plays soccer."

"Really? That's nice. Did you hear that Peggy is getting married to the janitor?"

"What? No way!"

The stupid conversation continued as Sam fought to move his limbs. When that didn't work he searched for his voice again. He focused all his energy and slowly opened his mouth.

"Help me," he whispered.

"Did you hear something?" the man asked

"No, I – "

"Help me," Sam repeated a little louder this time, tears formed in his eyes as he opened them, "Help me, please."

"Dear God, he's awake," the woman said, "I'm going to get Dr. Rhoden!"

The images before him were blurry; the white light was harsh. He felt a large hand grab his shoulder.

"Hold on there, son."

Sam cried as the life monitor beeped next to him. The man's face came into focus: he wore thick glasses and had bushy eyebrows.

"Get Cedes and Finn," Sam said.

"We'll find your family, don't worry. Do you have any pain?"

"My head hurts," he said, while his eyes adjusted to the sunlight streaming through the window, "It's too bright. Make it stop. Where am I?"

"You were in a car accident. You're in Macgoffin County hospital now and everything is going to be ok."

Sam covered his face in his hands. He had been in a car accident? The last thing he remembered was driving on a long, winding road.

"Are Cedes and Finn ok? I was holding their hands. Are they hurt? Please help me."

The door to his room flung open and Dr. Rhoden rushed in.

He smiled down at Sam.

"Glad to see you back with us. I know you were in good hands with our nurse Charlie."

"Why am I alone? Where's my family?"

Suddenly, his mother came racing into the room; she ran over to his bed, pushing Dr. Rhoden aside and threw her arms around Sam.

"Oh, thank God, thank God…" she repeated like a mantra as she held him close.

Sam was too weak to do anything else, except lay there and be held by his mother, who was unintentionally squeezing out what little life he had left in him.

"Mom, please, I can't breathe."

She pulled away from him, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm just so thankful."

"Where are Cedes and Finn?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"What?"

"Cedes and Finn. Where are they?"

"Sammy, just relax and let Dr. Rhoden – "

"No! Where are Cedes and Finn? I need to see them. Why aren't they here? I felt them here."

Mrs. Evans avoided his eyes and said:

"They had to leave."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter. Don't you even care that your own mother drove four hours in the dead of night just to be by your side? I was out of my mind, thinking the worse, and all you can do is ask about your school friends."

"Mom, not now. Stop with the guilt trip. Of course I'm glad you're here. But I need them."

"You need your family. Aunt Patty has been praying all night. Stevie and Stacey are worried sick. I left them home. The trip would've been too much for Stacey."

Dr. Rhoden stepped forward.

"You can finish this conversation later. Right now, it's imperative that I examine your son to make sure everything is ok. He might need surgery."

Mrs. Evans stepped aside and let Dr. Rhoden examine Sam. After a few rounds of questions, poking and prodding, he allowed more pain medication to be administered Charlie. Once they were finished, he left them alone, with a promise to be back that afternoon to discuss treatment. Sam felt groggy from the drugs, his eyelids grew heavy and soon he was asleep again.

**ooo**

Sam woke up to find his mother standing over him, singing If I Could, as her hands traced the contours of his face.

_If I could_

_I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes_

_Give you courage in a world of compromise_

_Yes, I would_

_If I could…_

"Mom, you're singing," Sam said in a hoarse whisper.

She smiled.

"I thought it would help."

"My head feels weird."

His mother touched his forehead.

"You don't have a temperature. The staff brought you dinner. Chicken soup and lime jello."

"I just want some water."

"Ok."

She poured him a glass of water from the pitcher that sat on the table near the bed, and held it up to his lips.

"Here."

Sam drank the entire glass of water and drank another one right after it.

"What time is it?"

"It's 8:30 in the evening."

"Did Cedes and Finn come back?"

"You know, you look better than before."

Sam went to touch his angel necklace and realized it was gone.

"Where's my necklace?"

"You mean this?" His mother asked, holding up the necklace, "I took it off because it was getting tangled in your hair, you really need a hair cut."

"Put it back on me. I don't feel right without it."

"You used to wear that cross I gave you. Where is it?"

"I don't know. Please put my necklace on me."

"Where did you get it?"

"Mom!"

"It's just a simple question," she said as she fastened the necklace around his neck.

"Where are Cedes and Finn?" Sam asked again.

"Why are you so worried about your friends?"

"It's more than that."

"I don't care. I'm your mother. You need to remember that. Now, I want you to try to eat some dinner."

Sam shook his head.

"I can't believe you're acting like this. Why weren't you here when I woke up? I had to listen to strangers talk about how I could die!"

"Sam, please – "

"You should've been here. I needed someone here. I was scared, I thought, hell I don't know what I thought; I need to see the people who care about me the most.

His mother grabbed his hand.

"I care about you the most."

"It's really too late for that."

"What do you mean?"

"You always leave me behind. Cedes and Finn stick by me," he pulled his hand away from hers and said, "Tell me why they left."

His mother didn't answer him. She stood up and walked over to the window, staring out into the darkness, she said:

"It's for the best."

"How?"

She turned around to face him.

"I want you to have a normal life."

"A normal life?"

"Yes. This crazy relationship you have with Cedes and Finn will only hurt you in the end."

"You found out about us?"

She nodded.

"They told me. I don't want to talk about it any more. You don't need that kind of thing in your life. I want you to be happy."

"Well, what you're doing isn't making me happy. It's not a crazy relationship. I love them both. When you were away, I had a breakdown and they took care of me. They love me and they're my family."

Sam stared at his mother, waiting for her response. Finally she spoke:

"What are you talking about? What breakdown?"

"Mom, I have a problem, ok? I think you know what it is."

"Sam, please, not now, that's in the past. We have to just move on. It was unfortunate and unpleasant but it's over."

He gripped the sides of his bed and sat up a little before he settled back into the mountain of pillows behind him.

"It's not over! How the hell can you say something like that? It wasn't unfortunate or unpleasant. It was terrifying and horrible. That man raped me! He raped me, Mom and all you can say is that it was unfortunate? And I have to live with the blood, the gunshots, and guilt, every fucking day, I have to live with it and you say it's something unpleasant like I stubbed my toe or some shit like that, why do you act like it never happened?"

By this time Sam was crying, the tears ran down his face.

"You never once tried to protect me or comfort me. I know that you love me Mom, but the only thing you ever protected me from was killing Dad. I bet you can't even say it, can you? For once I want to hear you say that sick motherfucker, Reverend Barnes raped me. Go on, say it, my son Sam was raped by Reverend Barnes and I sat on the sidelines and didn't do shit!"

"Sam, watch your language. I raised you better than that. What did you want me to do? I wasn't there when it happened. What was I supposed to do?"

Sam shook his head. He looked up at his mother; she was so tired and worn out and useless. At one time she smiled and sang songs in the sunshine, and when she gave him a bath she told him stories of mermaids and pirates. That was the mother he remembered, but somehow she disappeared, and was replaced with this shell of a woman before him, with thinning blonde hair and premature wrinkles on her delicate skin.

"You were supposed to hold me and love me and tell me that it wasn't my fault and that you would be there for me. That's what you were supposed to do. Not let my asshole father beat me and call me a fag and leave me out in that storm – "

His mother slammed her fist against the nightstand so hard that it shook, spilling the chicken soup.

"That wasn't my fault. The storm wasn't my fault it just happened Sam, you know how your father feels about homosexuality and he thought it was best and you have to remember to honor your father!"

"What? Honor my father? You mean honor someone that has never even treated me like a human being? God, Mom, are you insane? I mean listen to yourself. And what does homosexuality have to do with anything? Because a pedophile rapes me, I'm suddenly gay and therefore need to be punished?"

"Sam, let's be honest here, you were always so soft and sweet, you cried when you saw dead animals on the side of the highway. Stevie was never like that; he was all boy, and you were somewhere in between. You see how he treats Stevie."

Sam couldn't believe the bullshit that was coming out of his mother's mouth. Sweet and soft? All because he showed compassion?

"And what about the hunting trip? That was your chance to prove something to your father."

"Enough about that fucking trip! I wasn't going to shoot that beautiful deer, Mom. Yeah, I was good with a gun, and I knew Dad liked that, but what was the point in shooting it? Why just kill something like that? You know why I stopped playing with my BB gun?"

She shook her head.

"No, I don't."

"Because one day I shot a bird by accident, this bright red cardinal, and it just lay there on the ground and I couldn't bring it back and there was no reason for it. Then we went on that God forsaken trip with his stupid friends and I had to prove my manhood at 10 years old. It was ridiculous! I was great in Boy Scouts, I could do a lot of stuff like build a fire, read a compass, tie knots, but that wasn't enough for him. He wanted me to shoot something beautiful and I couldn't do it."

"Sam," his mother said gently, "If you hadn't been so stubborn and willful, and just shot the deer, then your father would have left you alone. He was testing you."

"Would he have loved me?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Mom, if I had shot that deer, would Dad have loved me?

His mother stayed silent, her eyes downcast.

"That's what I thought," Sam said.

"Sam, it's not an easy question to answer. Your father has a lot of issues. Your refusal to obey him ate away at his ego."

"So, once again, this is my fault. Every beating, every horrible name he called me, if I was just better, stronger, more like him than I wouldn't have suffered?"

"Your life would have been easier."

"Why couldn't you just protect me?" Sam whispered.

"Why couldn't you follow the rules? And now that you're in this bisexual thing with Finn and Mercedes; there's not much I can do except put a stop to it."

"As if you were doing so much before. How can you live with yourself? I know all about you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you in the church kitchen that day. I was coming to bring you a tablecloth. You wore a blue dress and had a flower in your hair, the one I picked for you because I thought it would make you smile."

"Sam, please, no, oh please, I never knew…"

He ignored her pleas and kept going.

"You were frosting the cupcakes for the youth social, and Reverend Barnes was there too, and you guys were laughing and talking and you were facing the wall away from the doorway where I stood."

"Stop!"

"You two were like old friends, but you had this look in your eyes, and your cheeks were flushed, he said something about how pretty you looked in that blue dress – "

"Sam, please, I'm sorry, I didn't know, please I had no idea I just –

"And you kissed him, you wrapped your arms around him and you kissed him."

"I was confused. Cain stopped paying attention to me. Reverend Barnes was – he was there – and he was handsome, I just needed something to give me life."

"But he pushed you away, he said you needed to ask the Lord for forgiveness, and that he was a married man, and that he was sorry. Then he went out the back door and you just stood there with frosting on your cheek, crying like a baby. You never even knew I was there."

"Sam, you know that was way before what happened to you. He had just been with our church for a few months."

"I know that. But you kept after him anyway. Is that why you stepped aside and turned your head after the rape? Is it because you loved him? You always wore lipstick and curled your hair when he came to the house."

"Son, I wish I could take it away, but I can't, all the pain you feel…"

"Did you love him?"

"I loved the feelings I got when I was near him."

"Were those feelings enough to ignore me while I was torn apart? Was it enough to watch me suffer?"

"I couldn't face it!"

"Couldn't face what?"

"Even though I had no idea that he was a monster, until it was too late, I couldn't face that I had feelings for him. I wanted everything to go away. I lost my will. I blamed myself for what happened, and when that was too hard, I tried to blame you; I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway, and then you went away to school and… I don't' know. But Sam, regardless of everything, I never stopped loving you. I just forgot how to show it"

"I was in hell!"

"Then let me protect you now. Listen when I tell you that you need to end that relationship with Mercedes and Finn. I'll be what they give you. I'll stand by you. Let me be the mother I should have been all these years. I'll leave your father and – "

Sam closed his eyes and screamed. He wasn't sure why he was screaming. Maybe it was because he finally heard out loud what he always knew all along. He kept screaming as she tried to hold him, and he fought her off, beating his fists against her frail body. A few nurses rushed into the room and his screaming continued as they attempted to ask him what was wrong. Was he in pain? What could they do? But he pushed them away too and shouted for the two people he needed the most:

"Cedes! Finn!"

His mother was in a heap on the floor, crying and yelling. He thrashed about on the bed as they tried to hold him down.

"Does he need to be in the psych ward?"

"Somebody call Dr. Rhoden, now!"

"Cedes, Finn!"

He repeated their names over and over again until he saw them run into the room. He didn't know how they found him or if they heard him from miles away or if maybe this was all in his head…

All he knew was that his Cedes and Finn were on either side of the bed, holding him, calming him down.

"We got you," Finn whispered.

Mercedes held him close. Her soft arms embraced him.

"Listen, baby, hold on. That's all you need to do."

"I woke up alone," Sam said, his voice strained and raw.

"You're not alone anymore," she said, stroking his hair.

And he wasn't.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading. I know that this was an emotionally charged chapter, but have no fear, the next chapter will be less challenging.

On another note, I understand that not everyone likes this story. However, I will not tolerate personal attacks. To the anonymous reviewer identified as WTF, I responded to your review in the Review section of Chapter 17. To all that dislike or disagree with the themes of this story, you have every right to do so, but please speak to me in a respectful manner. Telling me that I'm an asshole who should be shot and will burn in hell is not the best way to get your point across. Again, this story deals with difficult themes, and everyone should read with discretion. I posted a list of those themes on my tumblr page neverending2012. Thank you and thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

_**CHAPTER 18**_

_**SUMMARY: **_The rift with Sam's mother grows wider. Finn and Mercedes help Sam through his hospital stay. Mercedes confronts Sam's mother about her behavior. Finn gives Mercedes a surprise. Kurt and Mercedes have a fight.

_**WARNING – **_There are mentions of religion and God. Graphic description of gastrointestinal problems that Sam has. Two explicit sex scenes, one involving mild bondage. Cursing.

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_Thanks for reading my story and reviewing it! I had to cut this chapter into 2 parts. I appreciate your patience as I work on part 2.

* * *

_**THROUGH THE MIST**_

Sam wasn't about to let go.

Even with all of the chaos that surrounded him - the nurses trying to pry the three of them apart, Dr. Rhoden ordering a sedative, his mother crying in the corner… none of it mattered, because once he felt Mercedes and Finn embrace him, he closed his eyes, and the outside world melted away into nothing.

"Sam, we just need you let go of your friends for a minute. We're only trying to help you," he heard one of the nurses say to him.

But her voice was far away like distant thunder before a storm, and he tightened his grip around Mercedes and Finn.

"I'm home," he whispered, "You're my home."

He cried as they held him, and they cried with him, riding his wave of crazy, and not caring one bit, because they carried each other's burdens, and their hearts beat with his.

Sam knew the picture they created on that hospital bed was probably strange to anyone who couldn't look beneath the surface: a distraught, blond teenager bawling his eyes out and hugging a rather tall, broad-shouldered boy and a beautiful, curvy, brown-skinned girl who carried their children inside her.

People wanted to know what brought them together. They would rub their heads and wonder how they formed this bond, and Sam knew he would have the same answer every time:

Love.

And if you looked closely, you could see how well their hands fit together, how each kiss was filled with every joy, hope, and loss they ever felt, how their skin colors blended into one, and how their eyes shined when they said each other's names. So really, the question was a foolish one in Sam's mind, because you only had to forget what you thought love should look like, and just accept what it is.

Sam kissed their faces and said, "I felt you here. You were holding my hand. You asked me not to leave."

"Yes," Mercedes said, "We were here."

"That was a weird place I was in, like I don't know where I was. It was like being in a dream."

Mercedes touched the angel necklace, peeking beneath the gray hospital gown.

"I'm glad you woke up."

"Me too. I don't remember the accident."

Finn caressed his cheek.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Saying good-bye to Cedes. A long road. Holding your hand. It's all scattered."

"You hit a deer," Finn said.

Sam shifted on the bed, attempting to sit up a little more, but never removing his arms from around them.

"I don't remember that at all. Did the deer die?"

Finn kissed him.

"You helped it let go."

Sam understood. He looked around and saw that everyone had left the room except his mother, who still sat, huddled in the corner, watching them, her gray eyes in awe of what she saw before her.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

Despite the blow up they had, he didn't want to hurt her, yet he also didn't want her around either.

"Could you leave us alone for a while?"

"But Sam I –"

"Please, Mom. Cedes and Finn give me peace. You only drive me from it. I love you. I just can't be with you now."

She stood up and adjusted her purse on her shoulder.

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

Mrs. Evans glanced at Finn and Mercedes before opening the door and walking out.

When she was gone, Sam kissed them again, this time it was more urgent and passionate; he needed their taste and smell, and they acquiesced to his dominance, letting him take control, Sam felt his insides explode, he ignored the pain in his head and savored every touch and kiss. There were soft whispers and lots of I love yous as they clung to each other.

"Baby, don't get too excited," Mercedes said, pulling away slightly, "Are you in any pain?"

"My head hurts."

"We should get the doctor," Finn said, rising from the bed.

"No, babe, not now. Please just… just stay with me. Both of you. I need you holding me. I feel like I died."

Finn hesitated for a second, but then he returned to his place beside Sam, curling into his side.

"Only for a little while longer."

Mercedes slipped her hand beneath Sam's gown and gently rubbed his bare chest, placing her hand over his heart.

"Thank God, you're still with us."

Sam kissed her.

"When I get out of here, I'm buying us rings."

"What?" Mercedes said, her eyes growing wide.

"I know we can't ever truly be married, but the three of us are getting rings. We'll do cheap ones now and get something fancy and expensive later."

"Sam, sweetie, you've been through a lot. Slow down, ok? There's still stuff we need to talk about."

His eyes drifted to her belly and he stroked it.

"You know what I want, but I know that you have to do what's right for you. Whatever you decide, we're behind you. I want to get the rings because I know that you and Finn are my forever."

Mercedes kissed him.

"Mine too."

"Mine three," Finn said chuckling before giving them both a kiss.

They lay cuddled on the bed until the pain in Sam's head grew worse and Mercedes and Finn insisted on getting Dr. Rhoden. This time Sam didn't object. He held them a few more minutes before finally letting go.

"I love you both so much."

"We love you too," they whispered.

"Forever?"

"Forever," Finn and Mercedes said in unison.

Sam smiled and closed his eyes, they had reached him through the mist of uncertainty where he hovered between life and death, heaven and hell, or something unexplainable that had him floating, searching for answers, but as soon as he called their names, and held their hands, everything made sense.

"Forever," he repeated, taking a deep breath to block out the pain spreading through his skull.

* * *

_**A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN**_

Sam was in the hospital for a few more weeks. He suffered from small contusions on his brain and drying agents were administered to reduce the swelling. Dr. Rhoden wanted t monitor him making certain there were no setbacks before releasing him from the hospital. During that time, Finn and Mercedes practically lived in his room. Kurt and Blaine visited almost everyday.

Burt only stayed a few days and then he had to get back to Lima to tend to the garage, but Carol stayed behind at Blaine's summer house along with everyone else. Mercedes loved having Carol around and wished everyday that she was her mother.

Clodell, despite her rather curt demeanor, actually grew to like the trio, and would check on them often to watch Sam's progress. Sometimes she brought cinnamon buns from the cafeteria because she knew that Finn loved them so much. Mercedes often caught Clodell staring at the three of them as they talked and laughed together, and especially when they showed each other any affection. Clodell never asked about the nature of their relationship, but simply went with the flow, treating them like everyone else, and for this, Mercedes was grateful.

Sam wasn't a good patient, much to Mercedes' annoyance. He hardly ate his meals and sometimes flat-out refused to take his medicine.

"Not the orange stuff again," Sam said, pouting at Clodell, who stood there with the medicine bottle.

"I know this isn't easy," Mrs. Evans said as she touched his face, she then turned to Clodell and asked:

"Are you sure it's time for his medicine? You were just in here an hour ago."

"Mrs. Evans, I can assure you it's time. The reason I was in here earlier was to change his IV."

His mother shook her head and made a soft "tsking" sound.

"Filling my son with all these drugs. Faith is what heals you."

Clodell began pouring the medicine into the pre-measured cup.

"I've never doubted faith."

She held the cup up to Sam's mouth.

"Bottoms up, soldier."

Sam turned his head away from her.

"That stuff upsets my stomach."

Clodell raised her eyebrows.

"That's because you're not eating enough."

"You never have what I want to eat."

"Such as?"

"My grandmother's secret recipe biscuits with honey."

"You know very well that you can't have anything heavy like that."

"I'm sick of Jell-O and broth and dry toast. I need variety."

Clodell put her hand on her hip.

"You will get variety once your condition improves and that can't happen, unless you take the medicine."

"I'll tough it out."

Mercedes threw up her hands in exasperation. As much as she loved Sam, his stubborn nature was unnerving.

"Sam, if you don't take your medicine, me and Finn are leaving and won't come back until they release you."

Sam smirked.

"You both love me too much to leave me."

"We're serious," Finn said.

Mrs. Evans, who hated being left out of any conversation, said, "I think you both need to back off."

"I think he needs to stop acting like a toddler. We want him out of here, sooner rather than later," Mercedes said as she unzipped her purse and pulled out a packet of peanut butter and cracker sandwiches.

"Here, you like peanut butter. And this isn't too heavy to digest. Eat three of these, and let Clodell give you your medicine. It won't upset your stomach because you'll have something in it."

Sam took the packet from her.

"Ok, but I want Mott's apple cider to wash it down with."

"Sam, please, we don't have apple cider. I don't even think that's in season."

Finn squeezed her shoulder.

"I'll go see what they have in the cafeteria."

He came back about ten minutes later with a small bottle of apple juice.

"He asked for cider," his mother said, "Why don't I go to the 7-11 across the street? They might have some."

Clodell sighed, "Mrs. Evans, we really don't have time for that –"

"But my son –"

"He's a great kid and I like him more than most of my patients, despite his attitude," she stopped for a moment and glared at Sam, then continued, "but I have a lot of work to do, so he'll just have to make do."

Sam was none too happy with the juice, but he made do, after Mercedes expressed that she had lost her patience. He ate the peanut butter and cracker sandwiches, drank the juice, and took his medicine.

Mercedes rewarded him with a kiss on the nose.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Sam being Sam wouldn't admit defeat, but only kissed her instead.

"You guys are staying, right?"

They nodded and sat down in the chairs next to the bed, and after that hurdle, Sam was much more cooperative.

**ooo**

Mrs. Evans barely tolerated Finn and Mercedes' presence, and only spoke to them when necessary. Mercedes was civil, yet it was difficult, because after all, the woman called her a whore and Finn a sexually confused idiot. Blaine had offered to let Sam's mother stay at his house, but she declined, distancing herself from the others even more by staying at the Motel 6 across the street from the hospital. His mother always sat on the right side of Sam's bed while Finn and Mercedes were to the left – she wanted them to know their place.

Since Sam needed a lot of bed rest, they took turns reading to him or would sing songs to lift his spirits. Mrs. Evans would sit with her big, black, bible on her lap, and read different scriptures aloud:

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."

Her speaking voice was soft and melodic, almost hypnotic, with its rich tone and smoky textures that reminded Mercedes of a seductress hunting her prey. Sam once told her that his mother used to volunteer to read for the blind.

When his mother finished reading the passage, she held Sam's hand.

"You used to know that by heart."

He looked over at her and sighed.

"I know."

Mercedes saw the sadness in Sam's eyes. He missed that part of his life. She tried to comfort him.

"Nothing is lost forever. You can get it back."

Sam smiled.

"I think I still got a little piece of it. It just needs to grow."

"We can watch the sunrise," Finn said, scooting his chair closer to the bed.

"Huh?" Sam asked.

"The sunrise always reminds me that you get another chance to get it right or find what's lost."

Sam let go of his mother's hand and then reached for Mercedes and Finn; the three clasped hands and Sam said:

"Well, that sounds like a good start."

Mrs. Evans closed her bible.

"You need to remember who made that sunrise."

"Mom, I haven't forgotten. I'm just finding my way back."

"I never knew you were lost."

"You just had to see the truth."

Mrs. Evans said nothing and placed her bible on the nightstand. She grabbed her purse off the floor and quietly left the room.

"She's trying," Mercedes said.

"So am I, but it's gonna take a long time before things will ever be right between us."

* * *

_**BEAUTIFUL DAWN**_

The next morning they watched the sunrise together. Sam was really too weak to leave his room, but he craved fresh air, and it was hard for Mercedes to say no. So they dressed him in sweatpants that were now too big, due to his weight loss, and kept his hospital gown on, then Finn picked him up and they sneaked out a back exit normally used for service staff and not patients.

Sam's mother was at the motel, so the coast was clear for them to go. They sat on a bench that resembled a Texaco sign – it was painted bright red and had a white star in the middle. Mercedes smiled and shook her head; the people of Star Pride certainly loved their town flag. Finn placed Sam on the white star and he and Mercedes got on either side of him and held him up. The bench was next to a huge weeping willow tree, and its long, pendulous branches, swayed in the breeze. Sam grabbed their hands and brought them to his lips, kissing them gently.

"Thank you," he said.

They sat in silent meditation, surrounded by trees and lush green grass. Automatic sprinklers quietly rotated, shooting a thin mist of water over the grounds. The sky was yellowish orange, and then slowly became golden as a glowing ball of fire rose in the horizon, breaking through the scattered clouds. Mercedes had never seen anything so magnificent.

The three held hands, watching another day being born, another chance to live life.

"I feel grateful," Sam said.

Finn and Mercedes each gave him a kiss. They sat there a while longer, just taking it all in, enjoying the silence, and the cool morning air, until Sam's eyes began to close and Finn picked him up and they returned to his room.

* * *

_**IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH**_

Upon entering his room, they found Mrs. Evans standing next to the bed with tears in her eyes.

"Where did you take him?"

"We went to watch the sunrise," Finn said as he put Sam back in bed.

"He's too sick for that. How could you be so stupid? I get here this morning and he's not here. I was about to call security."

"Mom, I'm ok," Sam said before closing his eyes again.

"That's not the point. Something could've happened to you. They were both careless!"

"I wanted to go, alright? I've been cooped up in this hospital room for too long. I needed fresh air."

Mrs. Evans put her hand on his forehead.

"I expect you and your _friends_ to have better sense."

"It did him some good," Mercedes said.

"You think you know everything don't you?"

"Stop it, Mom, just shut up. I hate being in this damn room all the time. I had to get out and –"

Suddenly, Sam couldn't speak and he sat up in bed, clutching his stomach; he was sweating, and his cheeks were flushed; he opened his mouth and threw up all over the bed and on himself.

"I have to go to the bathroom," he said, after he emptied his stomach. Orange vomit covered the blanket and the front of his gown. His mother reached for him.

"Sam, I got you…"

"No, don't touch me."

Mercedes and Finn pulled off the blanket then removed his gown and sweatpants, leaving him in his boxers. Finn eased him out of the bed and was about to pick him up when Sam said.

"I want to walk."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I might have another accident."

They held onto to his arms and guided him to the bathroom; and they were about halfway there, when Sam stopped and groaned.

"Oh no, I can't!"

Then he released his bowels, a horrible stench filled the room, as the loose fecal matter ran down his legs.

"I'm so sorry," Sam said looking down at the floor, ashamed of the mess he made.

"Baby, it's ok," Mercedes said, "Come on, let's get you in the shower."

"I don't think that's appropriate!" Mrs. Evans said, walking over to them, "I'm his mother. I should be giving him a shower."

Sam looked at her and laughed.

"Mom, we're past what's appropriate, and just so you know, we've already seen each other naked."

"I don't want anything improper to happen."

"I've got shit running down my leg and my mouth tastes like vomit, unless Cedes and Finn have a weird fetish I don't know about it, I think it's safe to say that nothing will happen."

His mother stood there speechless as they went into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Sam, how are you holding up?" Finn asked while sliding open the shower door and turning on the water, he stuck his hand under the shower spray and adjusted the water temperature.

"I feel really weak."

"Do you need to use the toilet?" Mercedes asked.

"No, I'm good for now."

She helped him out of his soiled boxers and then walked him over to the shower and he stepped inside, leaving the door open. The shower had a wide seat and safety bars; it was rather large and could fit three people.

"Babe, I want you to stand and hold onto the safety bars," Finn said, "I'm going to rinse you off first and then we'll wash you."

Sam did as he instructed and Finn reached up and grabbed the detachable shower head and began rinsing him off. Mercedes quickly undressed and got in the shower; she feared Sam might fall even though he had those bars to hold onto. When Finn finished rinsing him off, he handed the shower head to Mercedes, and took off his clothes as well, before joining them in the shower. By now, Sam was sitting on the seat, and Mercedes began lathering up a washcloth. Finn picked up the extra bar of soap and lathered up the other washcloth hanging from the rack on the shower wall.

Together they washed Sam's body and shampooed his hair. What would normally have been hot and erotic was now clinical. Occasionally, Sam would stroke their thighs, but it was more loving than anything else. Inwardly, Mercedes winced at the gesture. With all the drama going on in their lives, she had neglected to shave her legs. She tried to move away from him, but Sam maintained his hold on her leg.

"Your legs are beautiful," Sam said, his fingers gliding along the curve of her calf, gently lifting up the black hair that stuck to her wet skin.

She looked down at him and kissed the top of his head.

"Thank you, sweetheart. Do you think you can stand again? We need to do your back."

"Yeah, I think so," he said and slowly stood up, holding the the safety bar.

"Lean on me, if you need to," Finn said.

After they were certain he was clean, Mercedes stepped out of the shower and found two more wash cloths in the cabinet. She and Finn quickly washed up themselves and then shut off the water. They each wrapped an arm around Sam and helped him out of the shower.

Sam held onto them as they dried him off. Mercedes noticed that his skin was flaking.

"What's going on with your skin?"

"It's a side effect of one of my medications."

She looked in his duffel bag and found a bottle of Palmer's cocoa butter lotion.

"I didn't know you started using this."

Sam gave a sheepish smile.

"I want to smell like you."

"Angel, you've done enough. I'll put on the lotion," Finn said as he helped Sam sit down on the toilet.

"I feel fine," Mercedes said.

Sam watched her with careful eyes.

"Finn is right. You need to rest."

Mercedes gave them each a kiss on the cheek and didn't even bother to argue because it would have been pointless. She got dressed and sat on a plastic chair in the corner of the bathroom. After Finn rubbed lotion on Sam's skin, he dressed him in a clean pair of boxers and a fresh hospital gown that was in the cabinet.

Mercedes took all of his dirty clothes and shoved them into a plastic bag; she figured she could wash them at Blaine's house. Sam brushed his teeth and gargled with Listerine, when he was finished, Finn picked him up and Mercedes opened the bathroom door. The first thing she noticed was that the bed had been stripped, and the floor was mopped clean. Mrs. Evans stood by the window, her arms folded.

"The orderly will be back soon with clean linen," she said.

"Thanks, Mom," Sam said as Finn placed him in a chair.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"I bet that little sunrise trip is what caused this, being moved around like that made you sick."

"Mom, don't start."

"You were fine before."

"This isn't the first time I've thrown up."

"Regardless, I just think – "

"I don't care what you think!"

Suddenly, the orderly, who was a short, bald man with squinty eyes, breezed into the room with a stack of fresh, clean linens. He whistled as he quickly made up the bed. Then he went into the bathroom and scrubbed it down with sanitizing cleaner that smelled strongly of bleach and disinfectant. After he left, Finn helped Sam get into the bed, and covered him with the clean blanket. When he was all tucked in, Sam reached up and kissed Finn's cheek, telling him he loved him. Mercedes observed how Mrs. Evans' eyes stayed fixed on the two boys as they professed their love. Her mouth was in a tight line, her gray eyes narrowed into a judgmental glare.

Mercedes turned from her gaze and began combing Sam's damp hair. He stopped the steady movement of her hands, and brought them to his lips, kissing the palm of each hand, and then kissing her cheek.

"I love you, Cedes."

"I love you too."

When she finished getting out all the tangles, she secured his hair into a ponytail. Then Finn stood up and stretched, and he put his arm around her.

"I'm going to the cafeteria for some coffee, does anybody want anything?"

"No, I'm fine," Mercedes said.

Sam covered his mouth and yawned.

"Me too."

"Babe, are you sure? You might want some apple juice later."

Mrs. Evans frowned at Finn.

"His name is Sam."

"Sorry," Finn said, looking down at the floor.

Sam shot his mother an exasperated look and then turned to Finn.

"Don't apologize. That's what you call me, and there's nothing wrong with that."

Mrs. Evans picked up her jacket that was lying on the chair and slipped it on.

"I'm going back to the motel."

After she was gone, Mercedes said:

"I should talk to her."

"She pretty much ignores you and Finn and refuses to accept us, why are you being nice?" Sam asked.

"I want to make things right."

"Me too," Finn said.

"Nothing will be fixed until she accepts that you and Cedes are who I love, Sam said as he opened his arms, "Both of you come here. I need to hold you."

They all fell into an easy embrace and Mercedes inhaled the scent of Sam's skin, a mixture of bath soap and cocoa butter lotion. He sighed and tightened his arm around her.

"I'm sorry that we can't – " Sam started to say, but Finn interrupted him.

"Sam, for the millionth time - don't worry about it. When you're better we'll all make love again. I promise," Finn said, kissing him on the lips, "Ok, babe?"

Sam just nodded then he said, "I hope you two are making love at least."

Mercedes glanced at Finn and then reached for his hand.

"Well I've been so worried and tense and Finn's been tired too so –"

Sam shook his head at them.

"Just because I'm out of commission doesn't mean you two have to be too."

"I'm fine with this. I love it when we hold each other," Mercedes said and snuggled up to him, then she said, "We need to tell your mother that I'm pregnant."

"I know but now isn't a good time. Let's wait until I'm out of the hospital. Have you been taking your pre-natal vitamins?"

"Yes, everyday like clockwork."

Sam kissed her cheek.

"You're not alone in this."

"I know."

Suddenly the door opened and Mrs. Evans walked in, she looked at them cuddling on the bed, and did not hide her disgust.

"I see you're busy. I only came to get my bible," she walked over and picked it up from the nightstand, holding the book to her chest she said, "Well, I guess I'll be going."

Mercedes sat up and removed herself from Sam's embrace.

"Mrs. Evans, wait. Could we speak in private?"

His mother raised her eyebrows.

"Um, ok, let's go."

"Just give me a second," Mercedes said, and she kissed Sam and Finn good-bye, "I'll be back soon, ok?"

Her boyfriends nodded. She picked up her purse and followed Mrs. Evans out of the room.

* * *

_**MOTHER KNOWS BEST**_

At Mercedes' suggestion, the two women went to the cafeteria where she offered to buy Sam's mother a cup of coffee. Mrs. Evans said she may be poor but could at least afford her own coffee and that she didn't need charity, so Mercedes only bought herself some tea, and they found an empty table in the corner. After taking a few sips of tea, Mercedes decided to let everything out.

"I want to get something straight."

"What's that?"

"I'm not going anywhere and neither is Finn. Sam loves us and we love him – nothing will change that."

Mrs. Evans dumped a couple of packs of sugar into her large coffee and began stirring vigorously, some of the hot liquid spilled on the table.

"Be careful," Mercedes said, wiping up the mess with a napkin.

"I'm always careful. Unlike you and that big oaf."

"Don't insult Finn, he's a good guy and a wonderful boyfriend."

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about? Besides telling me how strong your sick relationship is?"

Mercedes bit the inside of her cheek to stay calm.

"The more you treat me and Finn like dirt, and criticize what we have together, the more you'll push Sam away."

"I know what's best for Sam. I gave birth to him and watched him grow up. I know his heart. Just because you three have had sex, doesn't make you an expert on him."

"Sex is only part of it. And you're wrong, Mrs. Evans. We are experts, but not because of sex; we share much more. We've seen Sam through hell. He feels you weren't there for him."

Mrs. Evans stared down at her hands.

"I admit I made mistakes. I was selfish. But I'm here now. That's in the past."

"True, but Sam still feels the pain. You act like you can sweep in here and be super mom, erasing all the hurt he's been through. That's not going to work. Then you try to get rid of me and Finn, and we mean the world to him. You're only driving a wedge."

"What you three are doing… it's just plain wrong. I hate looking at how he holds you and Finn, kisses you… it turns my stomach inside out and – "

"We're in love! What do you expect us to do? Shake hands?"

"I expect you to know right from wrong! Use your head, Mercedes. Think about the consequences. Even though you've spread your legs, I think there's something good in you."

Mercedes straightened up in her chair.

"I do know right from wrong. Right is when you realize you can't control other people – even when you love them and think its for the best. Wrong is when you only think of your feelings and needs."

Mrs. Evans grew quiet. She turned away from Mercedes and looked out the window.

"Sam almost died when he was born. He had a heart defect. Cain smelled weakness and never let up. I thought if I made him fight on his own he would be strong. I don't care how much you think you know. You're not a mother. You'll never understand how I feel."

_Not a mother…_

Mercedes shifted in her chair.

"What you did killed his spirit."

"Children don't come with instructions. I'm not perfect."

"He thought he could depend on you. You abandoned him. I have to know why you stayed with his father? He could've killed Sam."

"I was trapped."

"What about Stevie and Stacey?"

"He's never hurt them. The abuse stopped."

I know it stopped but if he had hurt Stevie and Stacey would you have done the same thing?

I don't know. When he finally left Sam alone I thought that it was all over.

It wasn't over. Sam carries so much pain.

"So does Cain."

"I can't believe you're defending him."

"I'm not. It's just that – nothing."

"What is it?"

Mrs. Evan's eyes grew cold and she took a sip of coffee.

"Like I said, it's nothing."

Mercedes sighed. Perhaps she was right. But regardless of any family secrets, she said what she needed to say.

"If you want to do right by Sam like you say you do, you'll respect his feelings and our relationship. It's that simple. You coming in here, labeling what's right and wrong, will push him further away, and you'll lose him for good. Do you really want that?"

"I want my motherhood back."

"Then listen to your son when he's hurting. You're right the past is over, but this could be your second chance to the be the mother you wanted to be," Mercedes picked up her tea and rose from the table:

"That's really all I have to say. Good-bye."

Without another word, she walked away and returned to Sam's room.

* * *

_**THROUGH THE FIRE**_

When Mercedes told Kurt and Blaine that she was pregnant, it was during dinner. Carol had gone to the Star Pride flower show, so they decided to eat Chinese take-out while watching the Molly Ringwald teen classic For Keeps. Just before Darcy announced that she was pregnant during the family's Thanksgiving dinner, Mercedes broke open a fortune cookie, and said as casually as she could:

"Guys, I'm pregnant."

Kurt spit out his chicken fried rice, and it landed on the shiny cherry wood coffee table.

"What the hell did you just say?"

"I'm pregnant."

"That's what I thought!"

"Then why did you want me to repeat it?"

"I don't know. Call it denial. Are you sure?"

Finn sat down his carton of lo mein and said:

"Yeah, we're sure."

Blaine took a few napkins out of the carry out bag, and wiped up the mess Kurt made on the table.

"I don't know what to say, Mercedes, what are you going to do?"

Kurt folded his arms.

"Ever hear of condoms, Diva? They're those clear plastic things that look like balloons."

"Kurt, please. You know I was on the pill."

"A lot of good that did you. Now you're knocked up. What about college? And your future? Winning Grammys and seeing the world and –"

Mercedes had enough of his outburst.

"Shut up! Don't you think I haven't thought of those things and—"

"You haven't thought of anything at all! If you did, you wouldn't be in this mess! How can you raise a kid? Do your parents know?"

Mercedes knew that Kurt could be an asshole when he wanted to be, but this was insane, even for him.

"No, I haven't told them anything. And I'm sorry I told you!"

"Why? Because I'm not jumping for joy? And picking out baby names? How could you be so stupid?"

Finn jumped off the couch and walked over to Kurt who sat on the love seat next to Blaine.

"Mercedes has been through so much these past few weeks and this is how you treat her? How dare you call her stupid? Yeah, we made a mistake, but you have no right to tear her down like that. You're my brother and I love you, but Mercy is my heart, and I don't ever want you calling her stupid again, understand? Because I'm not above putting you in your place!"

Blaine got between them.

"Ok, let's all calm down. Kurt, you're my boyfriend and I love you too, but I think you owe Mercedes an apology. She needs our support , and not our judgment and criticism, she's going to get enough of that from kids at school and from her parents."

Kurt stared down at his hands and looked up at them.

"Am I the only one here that has any sense? Her life has gone down the tubes. She could end up in Lima like those women you see in the Route 40 trailer park, a lot of them dropped out of McKinley once they got pregnant, some got married but most didn't. They talk about getting their hair done and clipping coupons. They come into my father's garage asking for discounts, holding their toddlers and smoking Marlboros. It's pathetic. I don't want that for Mercedes. She's better than that! All of us are!"

Mercedes' eyes filled with tears she and didn't bother to wipe them away as she spoke:

"What makes you think I would end up like that? This pregnancy isn't going to stop me, or Finn, or Sam from achieving anything. We'll get through this because we love each other and want what's best for each other. How could you think so little of me?"

"I don't think less of you. I'm disappointed in you. I'm angry with you. Of all the people in Glee club, you're the only one I thought would make it. You have so much talent and intelligence and love to give the world, who's going to see it now? You say you'll get through this, but how? I know Dr. Jones and she's not footing the bill for anything, where will you live?"

"She'll stay with us," Finn said, "My mom knows and so does Burt."

"I can't fucking believe that you told them before me!"

"I'm warning you Kurt, you need to tone it down. Mom figured it out. She's a woman. She knows about stuff like this, and then she told your father."

Kurt stared at Mercedes and said, "Are you keeping it?"

"I don't know."

"I know my opinion doesn't matter much, and this may sound cruel, but I think you should get an abortion."

"Kurt!"

Blaine put his hand on Kurt's shoulder, "Listen, I think we should take a walk."

"Forget taking a walk! I want to talk some sense into Mercedes because I love her, and I don't want her throwing her life away!"

"If you loved me, then you wouldn't be acting like such a dick right now," Mercedes shouted.

"What? I'm a dick? I'm the only here who sees reality. The rest of you are in baby la-la land."

Finn put his arm around Mercedes and held her to his chest as she cried; he looked over at Kurt who sat there glaring at her as if he wanted to kill her.

"Kurt, listen to your boyfriend and take a walk, now!"

Kurt let out a dramatic sigh, stood up and stalked out of the living room with Blaine following close behind.

"This is what we have to look forward to Finn, are you up for this?"

He lifted her chin and kissed her lips.

"Whatever fires we walk through, we're walking through them together, understand? Me and Sam are with you every step of the way."

Mercedes nodded and held onto Finn until she calmed down. She pulled away from him wiping her eyes. Then she picked up the fortune that fell out of her cookie and read it.

Finn held her hand.

"What does it say?"

"You will have three fortunes."

"Good or bad?"

She shrugged and crumbled it up in her hand before tossing it into the empty bag on the table.

"Neither."

"Maybe it's a good omen."

"Well they say it happens in threes."

"You're not gonna end up like those women in the route 40 trailer park."

"I don't want to be a Lima loser."

"Kurt was having a moment. He got all tantrums and tiaras on us."

Mercedes laughed. Finn put his arms around her, and held her close, until she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

_**A BOY AND A GIRL**_

A few days later, Mercedes sat in front of the computer researching adoption agencies, and looking at families to possibly adopt their babies. She read stories of couples that tried to conceive for years and wanted nothing more than to open their home to a child. Some stories were so heart wrenching that they made her cry. But there was one in particular that caught her eye. It was an interracial couple that lived about fifteen miles outside of Lima; they were in their early thirties. The wife was African-American and a kindergarten teacher. Her husband was Japanese-American and a mechanical engineer. They had been married five years, but because of fertility issues, they were unable to have children, so they decided to adopt. They didn't care about the race of the child, and they described themselves as being open-minded, loving and patient. Their profile showed a picture of their house: a comfortable ranch style home with a vegetable garden in the back. There was something so warm and genuine about them. Mercedes stared at their profile for a long time until Finn wandered into the den.

"I figured you would be in here," he said, bending down and kissing the top of her head.

Mercedes pointed to the computer screen.

"Look at this, don't they seem like good parents?"

Finn sat down beside her on the couch and read the profile.

"Yeah, they seem nice."

She noticed the underlying sadness in his voice.

"I thought so too. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. We need to show Sam."

"I will tomorrow when we go to the hospital."

Finn changed the subject.

"My mom, Kurt and Blaine went to the Audrey Hepburn film festival."

Mercedes shut down the computer.

"I didn't even notice they were gone."

"You've been in here a long time, Finn said, taking her by the hand. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

Mercedes followed him upstairs, wondering what he was up to. When they entered the bedroom, she gasped.

He filled the entire room with flowers of every kind imaginable: wild roses, daisies, azaleas, violets, and lilacs. Fragrant bouquets over flowed in the vases and even glass beer mugs. A few scented candles were lit, and the air smelled like jasmine and honeysuckle. The iPod was playing one of her favorite songs: A Boy and A Girl. Sheer purple scarves hung over the lampshades, and the room was lit in a dreamy purple light. The bed had flower petals scattered on it, and in the middle was a huge purple towel. Finn wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered in her ear:

"So what do you think of your surprise?"

"Finn, this is so beautiful."

"Blaine helped pick them."

"I can't believe you did this for me."

"You've been so stressed lately. For this evening, I want you to relax. I'm giving you a massage."

Mercedes turned around and kissed him.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. Now, my lady, as much as I love your Mickey Mouse nightshirt, it really needs to come off for what I have planned.

"Yes, sir," she said as she slipped off her night-shirt and underwear, and she stood there before him nude, "I'm ready Finnegan Hudson."

Finn gazed at her; his eyes in approval of what he saw.

Mercedes stared back at him, she felt proud and beautiful, her body held the greatest gift – human life. What could be more awesome than that?

He reached out and stroked her cheek.

"When I was a kid, my mom used to take me to Catawba Island. I loved that beach. I'd spend hours swimming in the lake or collecting stones on the shore. Anyway, one day, I saw this woman, coming out of the lake, she wasn't wearing a bathing suit –"

"Hold up, that's not a nude beach is it?"

Finn laughed and pulled her toward him in a hug.

"No, angel, it's not. But she didn't care. It was late afternoon, and everyone could see her. She was a tall red-head, with big breasts and wide hips; she came out of the water, buck naked - like it was the most normal thing in the world. Freckles covered her skin. I was just a little kid, and I thought she was beautiful. Mom got upset and covered my eyes, but it was too late. I had seen everything. I remember how she passed by me, looking straight ahead, walking slowly, with everyone staring at her and pointing. It was like she was above us or something. I remember thinking that she probably hated to hide. Then the cops came and arrested her. Anyway, ever since that day, I've been looking for that proud beauty, and now I've found her."

"Finn…"

"Just looking at you now, I've let go of that dream because you're even more beautiful. You're so real and special. You don't need to walk nude on a beach for people to notice you. They do it anyway because you're Mercedes Antoinette Jones, and it doesn't get any better than that. I got more than my dream right here in this room with you."

He reached down and kissed her; it was sensual and slow, something that Mercedes hadn't realized that she missed until now. The drama that surrounded their lives made her forget passion, and now she was feeling it, it was like that cold moonlit swim they all shared weeks ago, she needed to feel it again, and she figured that this was her first fortune, though she would never admit that to anyone. Finn broke the kiss.

"Get on the bed, Mercy."

She smiled up at him, turned around and climbed on the bed, giving him a full view of her luscious behind, teasing him. Finn took off his jeans and t-shirt and kept his boxers on. Mercedes closed her eyes; the music filled her head. Soon, she was humming along.

_Stretched out on the beach,_

_a boy and a girl._

_Savoring their limes,_

_giving their kisses like clouds exchanging foam._

She felt the bed dip, and the warm sensation of heated massage oil being poured on to her shoulders and back; it smelled like musk and sandalwood. Then Finn's big hands began to knead her shoulders, digging into her tension filled muscles. Mercedes bit down on her bottom lip and moaned. Finn worked his way down. His skillful hands released all the stress and worry she had stored within her.

"Mercy, you were carrying too much," he said, "Your shoulders can't hold all that weight. I'm always here. And so is Sam. Remember that, ok?"

She could only nod and bury her face into the pillow. Then she heard Finn singing the next verse, but he added an extra word:

_Stretched out on the grass,_

_a boy and a girl and __**a boy**__._

_Savoring their oranges,_

_giving their kisses like waves exchanging foam._

Mercedes laughed and looked up at him.

"I heard you."

Finn smiled.

"That's who we are."

Mercedes couldn't deny that, and she sighed as Finn's hands reached the abundant flesh of her buttocks; he massaged each cheek and his touch aroused her; she opened her legs opened slightly. Finn continued his journey down her body, rubbing and squeezing her thighs and calves and even the soles of her tiny feet.

"Turn over," he said.

She turned over and Finn leaned down and kissed her, and she wanted more, pulling him closer. They kissed for a while longer, until Finn stood up and turned off the iPod just before the last verse began.

"Why did you do that?" Mercedes asked.

"Because it's sad."

"But they're still in love."

Finn caressed her breasts.

"Are they? Why did they stop kissing and now it's silent between them?"

"They died. And now they're laying side by side in the grave. They were together until death."

Finn gazed down at her, his hazel eyes thoughtful.

"That's you, me and Sam."

They kissed again, and he continued the massage. He tugged on her dark, plump nipples, as he poured a thin stream of oil onto her breasts. Mercedes moaned, opening her legs. Finn ignored her silent invitation, and moved his hands across the wide expanse of her chubby stomach, rubbing and caressing the excess flesh; then he poured a tiny amount of oil into her belly button, and dipped his finger inside, causing Mercedes to giggle until he placed his hand over her nest of pubic hair and squeezed. Mercedes arched her back, her breath catching in her throat.

Finn took a firm hold of her waist, his hands kneading into her broad, child-bearing hips, then he continued his path down to her thighs, and she quivered at his touch; more than anything, she wanted some sort of contact within her vagina, she was wet, aroused, and writhing about on the bed. Not one to disappoint, Finn nudged her thighs further apart, he stared at her wet center, lightly touching the pretty folds of her labia minora.

"This looks like flower petals."

"What does?"

"Your labia minora."

Mercedes raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.

"Studying up on the female genitalia?"

Finn blushed.

"Maybe. Back up a little," he said.

She did as he asked and he kneeled down between her legs, and she felt his thick tongue lick her core, slowly pushing its way inside. Heaven was the only way to describe how good it felt. He licked and sucked with such fervor that she let out little gasps because it was too intense; she grabbed at the bedspread, picking up handfuls of flower petals that stuck to her palms and between her fingers.

She tried to close her legs, but Finn's hold was strong; he was determined to make her cum and cum she did, she screamed and cried, as tears ran down her cheeks. Her orgasms were like waves rushing around her, pulling her in and lifting her up; she lost count of how many she had. Closing her eyes, she covered her face with her hands, smelling the fragrant petals; the scent of sweet lilacs and roses filled her nostrils. Finn put her in a dream. Nothing felt real – the hazy purple light, the flowers, the ethereal music, it was all like a fantasy. She let her hands fall to her sides, and looked up at Finn, who stared down at her, his eyes shined with tears. He smiled and touched her cheek, peeling away the petals that stuck to her skin.

"This is real," she said.

Finn nodded.

"As real as it gets."

Mercedes pulled him down toward her and they kissed; she tasted her juices on his lips. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his crook of his neck. Her body was reeling from what she just experienced; she needed to hold Finn, and let him bring her back down; he rose up, and positioned them so that she was sitting on his lap, and he rocked her gently, humming in her ear.

When she calmed down, Finn kissed her and went into the bathroom, returning with a hand towel. He wiped the sweat from her forehead and cheeks.

"Are you ok?"

She nodded and smiled. He threw the towel aside, and stood up and removed his boxers, revealing his hard, thick, member. Mercedes studied him for a moment – Finn was just so beautiful and perfect to her. He was tall and broad-shouldered with strong arms that carried her when she too tired, held her when she cried, and sometimes dominated her when making love; and she was not only safe with him, but loved and cherished as well. The cute Italy shaped birthmark on his left butt cheek made her smile, and she could never get enough of kissing his chest, or slipping his nipples between her lips. Sam was right – Finn had a great chest, especially for cuddling, and they both found it hard to resist.

His thighs reminded her of tree trunks, and she loved it when he pinned her between them as his cock pounded into her; the pudgy thickness of his middle only added to her attraction - the extra weight made her think of all the happy times they spent in the kitchen, helping Sam cook, and eating the meals out on her deck on warm, summer evenings; Finn enjoyed the food, and he was so grateful for everything that it filled her heart with joy. Finn Hudson was her perfection as was Sam. Her hand went between her legs and she slipped two fingers inside.

"This is where I need you," she said, as she moved her fingers in and out of her wet heat.

Finn licked his lips and wasted no time hopping on the bed and getting between her spread thighs, he entered her, pushing his way inside, filling her up with his cock, her tight walls squeezing him. Damn, this felt good to Mercedes, her eyes rolled back into her head. Finn began moving, pumping his hips, thrusting into her body. He leaned down and grabbed her jiggling breasts, as they bounced along with his urgent thrusts. Mercedes felt that Finn was holding back, so she wrapped her legs around him and squeezed him more.

"Shit, baby," he said, "You feel so good."

"So do you, I missed this."

His hands got lost in the tightly coiled curls of her Afro, as he steadily drove in and out of her, Mercedes enjoyed the pleasurable pain of his pulling on her hair. Finn had many fetishes and one was hair, though he never admitted it out loud, Mercedes knew what turned him on and her hair as well as Sam's made Finn go crazy when making love. He gave a few more tugs on her hair before gripping the headboard, and releasing a few squeaky moans; he was breathing hard.

"Mercy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I want you to cum for me again, just cum, ok? I don't care how loud you scream, you let it out. You deserve this. I love you so much."

"Ok, Finn, but you don't have to hold back."

"But what about – "

"It's safe. I researched it. They're protected inside me."

Finn gave a little more to his thrusts but not much. Mercedes didn't press the issue with him, he was being the responsible, caring guy she fell in love with, and that was enough to satisfy her. He held the headboard and continued pumping his hips.

"Be careful, giant, I don't want you to get any more splinters," Mercedes said.

Finn laughed out loud, and gazed down at her, sweat dripped from his forehead.

"You guys won't let me live that down!"

They both laughed and then it soon returned to moans. The sex was good, like waking up and finding out you won a million dollars, kind of good, Finn was working her over, and Mercedes enjoyed every second of it, her toes curled as he slammed into her.

Then Mercedes came. Hard. This time her screams surpassed loud and entered the realm of possible hearing loss; her cries echoed through out the room.

**ooo**

Sam woke up in his hospital bed and heard Mercedes screaming. The room was dark and then he felt two pairs of arms holding him and he smiled; his hand traveled beneath his gown, and he stroked his cock a few times, before drifting back to sleep.

**ooo**

Finn came too, his cum spilling inside her. But his yells could not compete with Mercedes' siren screams. He pulled out of her, and then lay beside her, holding her close to his heart, running his hands up and down her damp back, as she came down from another orgasmic high. She kissed his chest. Her tongue flicked over her his nipples, and he sucked in his breath.

"Angel, we should rest before another round."

"I know but I couldn't help myself."

Finn hugged her close and laughed.

"Didn't know I turned you on so much."

Mercedes shook her head and pulled away from him.

"I hope that was a joke because we just made love and I was screaming so loud that I think I damaged my ear drums. Of course you turn me on. You always tell me how perfect my body is, well, so is yours."

"Mercy – "

"No, Finn, you need to love yourself more. Both of us need to actually, and I think I'm getting there slowly."

He kissed her forehead.

"You are getting there. I notice you don't hide as much."

"Yes, and it feels great, like I got this power all of a sudden. I love you and I want you to love yourself."

"I'm working on it."

"I don't think you are."

Finn was taken aback.

"Why?"

Mercedes kissed his heart.

"Because of little things you say about not being smart or how you'll never go shirtless."

"Well, I'm not as smart as you."

"That's what I'm talking about. Stop comparing yourself to me or anybody else. Ok, so maybe you're not a genius, but who is. You care for people and you're intuitive, and you put your heart into everything you do. Not too many people love the way you do."

"Let's make a pact."

Mercedes tilted her head and looked at him.

"What kind of pact?"

"We'll both do something everyday to feel better about ourselves. I actually like running, and I don't do it enough. It makes me feel good and I'm always happy with myself when I'm done."

"I like exercising in the morning, and I like singing to you and Sam, it fills me up with the best feeling, and it makes me proud."

"Ok, that's a start. We'll tell Sam about our plan. He's working on his self-esteem too."

Mercedes hugged Finn.

"I love you. Never forget that. I'm not trying to be hard on you or anything."

"I know, Mercy, and I love you too. Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course. What do you need?"

"Will you let me talk to them?" He asked pointing to her stomach.

Mercedes' eyes filled up with tears.

"Yes," she whispered.

Finn placed his hand on her belly.

"Hi guys. I hope Mommy didn't scare you. It just means we love each other very much, and sometimes the world needs to know. My name is Finn and your other father is Sam. I don't know if we'll be watching you grow up or anything, but we all of us love you, and whatever happens, we will always love you and be there for you, ok?"

Mercedes knew it was probably too early for them to hear anything, yet in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Finn once again proved how incredible he was. She pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I love you, Finnegan Jacob Hudson."

"I love you too, Mercedes Antoinette Jones."

Then they both fell asleep, sharing a pillow that smelled like Sam.

* * *

_**BLACK SILK FANTASY**_

She woke up to find his hard cock pressed between her ass cheeks, his arm wrapped around her waist. She broke from his embrace and gently pushed him on his back. Finn, however, was still snoring like a freight train, and did not wake up. This didn't stop Mercedes. She mounted him anyway, sinking down on his erect shaft, sighing in delight, as it went deeper inside her. The faint pink light of the sunrise shined through the curtains and glowed on their nude bodies. She moved her hips and began to ride him. A few moments later, Finn opened his eyes, he groaned and looked up at Mercedes as she squeezed her breasts and continued to sway her wide hips; her eyes glazed over.

"Mercy?"

She smiled down at him.

"I remember what you said. Lie back and relax. I'm in control."

Finn grinned and did as asked. He closed his eyes and moaned.

"Your pussy feels so good."

Mercedes kept riding him, picking up the pace. She felt Finn grip her jiggling ass, and he was about to smack it, but she stopped moving and grabbed his hands.

"You like my ass?" she asked, her voice low.

"You know I do."

"Then you have to ask before you touch it. Remember the rules."

"May I touch your ass please?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"What do you want to do with it?"

"I want to squeeze and smack it."

"Permission granted, but you can only smack it twice."

She reached down and kissed him.

"Go ahead."

"Thank you, Mercy."

Finn gave her ass two hard smacks; she felt the stinging sensation go right between her legs and she shivered.

"Very good. I might let you do that again."

Then she climbed off him and went to get his duffel bag. Finn lay there on the bed with a leaking cock and a deflated expression.

"Did I do something wrong?"

She unzipped the bag and pulled out four black silk ropes.

"Moved down and lift your arms."

He lifted his arms and she tied his wrists to the bed posts; then she tied his feet to the posts at the foot of the bed. He was spread wide and tied to the bed. She touched his cheek.

"How does that feel?"

"Like I just hit the jack pot."

Mercedes chuckled and stroked his cock before taking it into her mouth, as she fondled his balls. Finn tasted wonderful or maybe it was her love for him that made him taste so sweet; she kept sucking earnestly, encouraged by the slew of curse words that escaped Finn's lips as he lay there helpless while she had her way with him. Just as he was about to cum she released his cock and caressed his chest. Finn's face was bright red.

"Please, Mercy!"

"Who's in control?"

Finn sighed and let out a groan.

Mercedes climbed on his cock again and as soon as he was inside her, she began to grind her hips and squeeze him tight. Her breasts were in near Finn's mouth, which was open and salivating at the tempting sight as they bounced before him, teasing him.

"Mercy?"

"Yes?"

"May I suck your breasts?"

"Yes, you may."

She leaned forward and fed her heavy mounds to him. Finn licked, sucked, and nibbled her breasts, as she kept up the steady grind of her hips. His mouth and tongue felt so good on the "girls," as she liked to call them; that she was getting closer to an orgasm. Her movements grew erratic –she was grinding and bouncing on his big cock with no restraint or control, driving him deeper within her tight walls. Finn was close too; he bit down on her nipple, drawing a thin line of blood. Mercedes cried out in pain, but it was the good kind – he knew her kinky side too. Then they both came together, neither one of them screaming, but instead moaning each other's names as their bodies trembled and shook, Finn's load was huge, and it filled her up and ran down her soft thighs. She collapsed on top of him.

"So how was that?" she managed to ask when she could actually breathe again.

"Untie me and you'll find out."

Mercedes kissed him and untied the silk scarves. Finn gathered her in his arms and kissed her like they hadn't seen each other in a hundred years. He was soft and aggressive all at once, his tongue delving into her mouth with a heated fervor. When he finally pulled away he said:

"You are awesome, sexy, beautiful, hot, giving, loving and just too much. I don't know what I did to deserve you or _this, _but I'm so happy you are in my life. I mean it's not even my birthday anymore and look at what you did for me!"

"It doesn't have to be your birthday. You've also been under a lot of stress. I wanted to give you something special too."

"Well, you did, angel."

Mercedes smiled and they hugged each other close. Then Finn slipped out of her room before his mother woke up. She didn't think that was necessary because they were hardly innocent, but she played along anyway, and closed the door behind him.

* * *

_**FORTUNE COOKIE PAYDAY**_

The fortune cookie didn't lie. Sunday morning brought two more fortunes for Mercedes.

The second fortune that occurred was the wonderful breakfast Carol prepared while everyone else was still asleep upstairs. She made the best Belgian waffles Mercedes ever tasted - Carol topped them with strawberries and homemade whipped cream. She also brewed a pot of peppermint tea for Mercedes to soothe her nausea.

They all sat in the kitchen, devouring the waffles and eating the crispy bacon on the side. All the windows were open and smell of the lake and wildflowers drifted into the kitchen. She and Kurt were cordial to each other. Since their fight earlier that week, they had not really spoken except to exchange polite pleasantries when they passed each other in the hallway.

Kurt refused to apologize for what he called "brutal honesty" and "tough love." Mercedes felt like she lost her best friend and it hurt, but if she were honest with herself, they had drifted apart anyway; she went to him less for advice and was leaning more on Santana. Kurt's relationship with Blaine consumed him and he was even hanging out with Rachel, much to Mercedes' dismay, but those things were just symptomatic of the inevitable – they were growing up. A sharp pain stayed in her heart, and Finn did everything he could to take it away, by reassuring her that he would always be there for her. When they told Sam of the fight, he tried to jump out of his hospital bed to go beat up Kurt, Sam loved Kurt, but like Finn, he would never tolerate anyone hurting her, and Kurt had done a very good job of the that.

Finn wasn't mean to Kurt, yet their relationship remained strained too. Despite the tension, the meal was still pleasant, and she loved how Finn was so attentive, making sure she had everything she needed, gently rubbing her back now and then. Blaine was loyal to Kurt because he loved him, and he stayed out of the war zone, looking on helplessly as his friends, fought each other beneath a veil of politeness. Kurt kept his eyes on his plate most of the time, taking tiny bites of his waffle. Mercedes was content staring out the window at all the butterflies fluttering about in the sunshine.

"Um, Diva?"

Mercedes was a bit startled. He hadn't called her diva in a week.

"Yes?"

"I think Adair is a nice name for a girl," Kurt said, staring down at his plate again, "Or Aidan for a boy."

"I've always liked the name Aidan," Carol said as she poured herself a glass of orange juice, "But let's not get ahead of ourselves. No decisions have been made."

"Aidan means fire," Blaine said quietly.

"Yes, I know," Kurt said, "I chose it because that's what the baby's mother has, a lot of fire, and I tried to kill the flames by being selfish and hurtful. No matter what you do in life, you'll always be great, if it means having a baby so be it. I'm so sorry, Mercedes. I –"

Before Kurt could say anything else, Mercedes had risen out of her chair, and flung her arms around him. Kurt was crying.

"I love you, Mercedes."

She took his hand.

"Come on, she said, "Let's go into the garden and talk."

They opened the door and walked out into the garden, sitting down side by side on the white stone bench at the far end away from the kitchen windows. Kurt was wiping his eyes and Mercedes had tears falling too. He took out one of his many silk handkerchiefs and handed it to her. This one was bright red and had his initials embroidered in gold thread in the corner. They sat there in silence gazing at the butterflies dancing in the sunlight; their gossamer wings were so delicate. Flashes of color passed by with each winged creature - orange, blue, yellow, and even purple.

"It's beautiful here," Mercedes said.

Kurt nodded and said, "Yes, I told Blaine we should move here. But he hates Star Pride, small town living isn't for him."

"It's not for you either."

"True. The peaceful silence is nice. You know I lost my virginity on this trip."

Mercedes laughed and squeezed his hand.

"I know."

Kurt looked surprised.

"Really?"

"I know that more than blow jobs were going on in your bedroom. Besides you aren't quiet either."

Kurt turned a bright shade of pink.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm happy for you. How did it feel?"

"It hurt at first, but then I got into it. Blaine gave me romance and thrills and candlelight. We were Rock Hudson and Doris Day, sort of," he grew quiet for a moment then said, "I wanted to tell you. It crossed my mind, but things felt –"

"Different?"

"Yes. Different and distant."

"You're hanging out with Berry. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I know you don't like her and even though she's crazy; she has some stuff I like about her. She's driven."

"And not a knocked up girl with two baby daddies?" Mercedes asked with an edge in her voice.

"I didn't mean it like that."

Mercedes sighed and watched an orange butterfly hover above them then land on her knee.

"I know you didn't. I'm just feeling some kind of way. You really hurt me with everything you said. I forgive you, but it's going to take time for the pain to leave my heart. You see Kurt, I carried you in my heart, even though, our ties were loosening, I still had you there, I guess I sort of hoped things would change."

Kurt kissed her cheek. He smelled like strawberries and that expensive lime scented mousse he bought online for fifty bucks a bottle.

"They will change. We need to work on being more open."

Mercedes smiled sadly.

"I don't think that will be enough. I've been holding back from you too. There was a time when I would've ran into your room as soon as I saw that test was positive, and then we would've cried together over Haagen Daas until everything was better."

"And now?"

"We love each other. But our hearts are going in different directions. It's called growing up."

"I feel like you're breaking up with me."

"The love is still there. It's not going anywhere Kurt. The love we have lasts a lifetime. We don't have the same path, and as much as I hate to admit this, I kind of see why you like Rachel."

Kurt remained silent. Mercedes felt his tears on her shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kurt, we'll be there for each other, it's just not as deep."

Kurt touched her cheek and turned her head to face him.

"We're still double dating. You, and Finn and Sam are the most wonderful people I know. I want you around. And regardless of what you say about growing up, I think we can find our way back to each other."

"I'm open to that."

"Have you decided what you are going to do about the baby?"

"I'm leaning toward adoption."

"What do Finn and Sam want?"

"They want me to keep the baby."

"Oh."

There was silence. A bittersweet cloud hung over them. They were breaking up, and mending fences, and building future bridges they might cross, and maybe they would find each other again, when they were grown, and had what they needed from within, fixing the ties that once bound them together. But until that journey was complete, they would have to settle for reserved spaces in each other's hearts: his was proudly marked Diva, and it was branded with a sweet kiss, and hers was marked Kurt, and it held the silhouette of their joined hands as they came together once again.

**ooo**

Fortune paid a visit one last time to Mercedes. After the Belgian waffle breakfast gave her some closure with Kurt, the morning stretched before her in a peaceful happiness. They had plans to visit Sam in the afternoon because that's when he felt his best. At around ten o'clock, everyone sat on the back porch playing poker with Monopoly money and listening to Carol's Best of the 80s CD. When Love is a Battlefield came on, Carol exclaimed that this was her "jam" back in the day, and Finn groaned in embarrassment, as his mother hopped out of her chair, and started to imitate the dance Pat Benatar did in the music video back in 1983. Soon Mercedes joined her, and she copied Carol's movements. They both began to shake from side to side, and roll and shimmy their shoulders, lowering their bodies to the ground, facing each other in an impromptu dance off. The boys cheered them on.

_We are strong no one can tell us we're wrong, searching out hearts for so long, both of us knowing_

_Love is a battlefield_

Carol was an excellent dancer, but Mercedes held her own.

_We are young, heartache to heartache, we stand_

_No promises, no demands_

_Love is a battlefield…_

Then Carol started breaking it down and Mercedes laughed and followed her lead, by the end of the song, they were both breathless and hugging each other, laughing out loud.

"Wow, girl, you can move!" Mercedes said.

"You too, Jones," Carol said and winked.

"I'll go get you two some water," Finn said before giving them both a peck on the cheek, "You guys were awesome."

"So my son is no longer embarrassed?"

Finn smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Well, we are with family after all."

"Oh, go on!" Carol gave him a playful smack on his backside as he went inside to get their drinks.

**ooo**

When the doorbell rang at 11:35, Mercedes thought nothing of it. She didn't even care that she was getting butchered in the poker game. Everything felt _right_. So when she opened the door, she suddenly remembered that fortune had two sides: good and bad.

Her mother and father stood before her, their arms folded, their eyes glaring at her. Grace Jones spoke first, her voice was low, with a hard edge to it.

"You have a lot of explaining to do."

Mercedes sighed, opening the door wider and letting them in. It always came in threes.

* * *

**END NOTES**: Well, that's it for Chapter 18, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'm working on chapter 19 right now. I had plans to include Mercedes' mother, in this part, but I had so much ground to cover, so I decided to tackle that show down in the next part. I will try to have it up soon. Thanks again, and have a great week everyone!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary:** Mercedes has a confrontation with her parents. Sam is released from the hospital.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** Depressing themes. Cursing.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for sticking with this story. I want to issue a formal apology to guest05 for saying she was the same person as the anonymous reviewer WTF. It was an error on my part and I apologize. Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**_HURT PEOPLE_**

"How did you find me?" Mercedes asked her mother.

They stood in the foyer facing each other. Mrs. Jones looked like an angel with her long, brown hair hanging free, reaching her slender waist, in rippled waves. Her skin was tanned to a light, toasted shade of brown. She wore a simple white sundress and a thin, gold chain around her neck. Her bluish gray eyes swept over her daughter in disapproval.

"That doesn't matter. Now, get your things because we're leaving."

Mercedes stared back at her and then she hung her head, looking down at the floor in defeat. _The mirror lied._ She was 8 years old again, reduced to a pumpkin in a princess world. Her jeans felt too tight and she wished she had changed her shirt after she spilled syrup on it at breakfast. She smelled her mother's perfume, a soft jasmine scent with touches of patchouli. Finn once said his mother always smelled like apple shampoo, and whenever he smelled it, he felt safe. For Mercedes, it was the opposite - nothing was calming about her mother's scent. It triggered the worse fear in her. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried desperately to slip through the cracks in the polished wood floor. Her father cleared his throat and she looked up at him. He was tall like Finn and he had a thin mustache, his face shined with sweat, and his blue polo shirt was neatly tucked into his trousers.

Mr. Jones shook his head and said, "The who, what, where, when and why can wait. Listen to your mother and go get packed so we can we leave."

"I'm staying."

Her mother grabbed her shoulder, digging her red polished nails into Mercedes' flesh. The pain reached beneath the surface of her skin, and she would have a new set of crescent shaped scars that would eventually fade just as the other ones had. It appeared like a loving gesture whenever her mother clutched her shoulder, but she was actually sinking tiny knives into Mercedes, and the action was cruel.

"This isn't a choice. You have fifteen minutes to gather your belongings. I won't tolerate your insolence."

By now the others had come into the foyer. Finn's eyes grew wide at the sight of her parents. He immediately went to her side and took her hand.

Mrs. Jones frowned at him, and her hold on Mercedes grew stronger. Finn held out his hand.

"Hello, Mrs. Jones, nice to see you."

"I can't say the same. Now, let go of her hand. You've done enough damage."

Carol, who stood between Blaine and Kurt, stepped forward.

"My son hasn't done any damage. I think all of us should talk about this."

"I don't have time for that."

"Please, Mrs. Jones. I know you're upset."

"_You_," she said glaring at Carol, "Don't know anything."

Mercedes shoved her mother's hand off of her shoulder and moved away from her. She felt Finn squeeze her hand and his touch lessened her fear.

"I'm not leaving. Sam was in a car accident and he's in the hospital."

"So?"

"He needs me."

"He's already got what he needed. Now, we have a long drive ahead of us. Get your things."

"I just put on a pot of coffee. There's no sense in rushing off like this," Carol said, "Besides, it's better to clear the air."

Mr. Jones sighed and folded his arms.

"There's nothing to discuss. We only want take our daughter home."

With all due respect, Mr. Jones, we need to talk. Our children are in a relationship that could hurt them; and we have to support them."

"Mrs. Hummel, there is no relationship," Mrs. Jones said, "Because after we leave today, whatever is going on is over."

Mercedes closed her eyes and tried not to cry. Finn put his arm around her; he stood up straighter and said:

"Mrs. Jones, we're not abandoning Sam."

Mercedes' mother laughed bitterly and turned away to glance out the window.

"I'm going to meet the President and First Lady and this is who my daughter is. Do you even understand what position you're putting this family in?"

Mercedes had forgotten all about her parents' Humanitarian Award ceremony.

"I don't have to go to the ceremony with you," she said, "Is that all you care about?"

"It will just look better if all of us are there. Though you're bigger than before. I thought you said you lost weight. And you need a relaxer. We want the pictures to be good."

"Sam almost died," Mercedes said.

"I'm sure the doctors know what their doing."

"Mom, I'm not going home."

"When did you decide to go running off like this? Cavorting with two boys?"

"What's cavorting?" Finn asked, genuinely confused.

Mercedes had to smile at that; Finn was truly one of a kind and she fell in love with him all over again.

"I'll explain later," she said and kissed his cheek.

Mrs. Jones still had a lot to say.

"Girls like you never understand that boys only want one thing from you and when they get it, they move on."

"We've been together for awhile now," Mercedes said, "And they haven't left."

"That doesn't matter. Do you honestly think when someone prettier and thinner comes along that big lipped Ken doll and this one here," she said jerking her thumb at Finn, "Will still want you?"

"I love Mercedes," Finn said, "She's beautiful and caring and she gets every part of me. I don't want anyone else."

Mrs. Jones snorted and rolled her eyes.

"I bet you love how she does your homework for you. You probably weren't even thinking about college until she came along."

"Well, she helps me study but –"

Before he could go any further, Mrs. Jones held up her hand to silence him.

"I see how this whole thing played out. You and your friend were both slipping academically, so you set your sights on my average looking, overweight daughter, and get her to help you with your school work, then you figure she was a virgin, because let's face it, it's not like she had a line of suitors beating down her door, so you went in for the kill and probably thought that since she was available and desperate that you may as well practice having sex with her until someone you truly wanted comes along. Have you ever been out in public with her? Or were these meetings in secret?"

"These boys are not sexual predators! My son loves Mercedes very much, and so does Sam," Carol said as she put a protective hand on Finn's arm, "You make it seem like it's impossible that your daughter could ever be loved. I didn't raise Finn to use people; he's a good kid with the biggest heart of anyone I know."

Kurt rushed to their defense as well.

"Carol is right. They aren't using her at all. This relationship is real."

"I can second that," Blaine said, "If you could see the three of them together, you would know."

Mrs. Jones looked at Blaine as if she were seeing him for the first time.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Blaine – Blaine Anderson. This is my family's house."

"Did you talk my daughter into this crazy mess?"

"Mom, Blaine invited us and I came because I wanted to. He didn't talk me into doing anything," Mercedes said.

"And since we're getting everything out in the open, I don't just love Mercy, I love Sam too," Finn said, "That's how this relationship works."

Mrs. Jones stared at him.

"Oh, so that's how it works - she's your beard. I get it now. You tell a nice story to keep your true nature hidden."

"When we go out, they always hold my hand, even though people stare at us and sometimes give us a hard time," Mercedes said, "I've been called horrible names, and they stood up for me."

"You always were naïve, they have you so mixed up that you can't even see the truth."

"Mom, they're not ashamed of me. They love me."

Mr. Jones shook his finger at Mercedes.

"I don't care who loves who. The fact of the matter is you chose to behave like common trash and expect us to be ok with it because you mistake these boys' intentions for love or something close to it. Now you're coming with us whether you like it or not. Regardless of this sordid affair, you are our daughter, and we won't have you being disobedient."

"I stopped being your daughter a long time ago."

"What?"

"You heard me, Dad, and you're wrong, I'm not going with you. I want you both to leave. I actually have people in my life that care about me."

"Mercedes, I do care about you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here," her father said, his voice softening.

"I'll be damned if I let you stand there and say that you care about me! Mom just said that I was an invisible fat chick who's a beard for two guys and not once did you defend me!"

Her father stayed silent, his eyes no longer met her gaze. Mrs. Jones intervened.

"There's nothing to defend. You know that your weight makes you unattractive. It distorts your features. You're petite," she said as she picked up Mercedes' wrist and added, "Look, see how small your wrist is? You're not supposed to have all this meat wrapped around your bones. Besides, most teenage boys don't like bigger girls and they have problems finding dates. You're no exception."

Mercedes yanked her wrist away from her mother's firm grasp.

"Everyday I have to silence your voice in my head and pray the numbers on the scale will change. Sam and Finn tell me I'm beautiful, just as I am, at first, I thought they were crazy, then after awhile, I began to believe them."

Mrs. Jones lifted Mercedes' chin and stared into her eyes.

"That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. Being their beard gives you false confidence. If you had half a brain you would see that I say the things that I do for your own good. You are so delusional that you don't even see the game they're playing!"

"This isn't a game. We love each other."

"I'm going to schedule an appointment for you with a psychiatrist," Mrs. Jones said, "I honestly believe you've lost your mind".

Finn hugged Mercedes to his side and said, "She hasn't lost her mind but you have!"

"What?"

"Mrs. Jones, I know the whole thing is weird, but Mercy is telling the truth, we all love each other. She's not our beard. She's our girlfriend and me and Sam are two of the luckiest guys in the world to have her. What kind of mother are you? Telling your daughter that she's unattractive and that nobody could want her. She deserves better than that."

"And I suppose that you're what's better?"

"Every time she hears your voice, I'm there to tell her she's beautiful, and when that isn't enough, I hold her tight and try to squeeze out all the bad stuff you left behind. Everyday I love her more. So yeah, I'm what's better and so is Sam." Finn said and then he looked at Mr. Jones, "Why don't you ever step up and do something? Mercy is hurting, can't you see that?"

Her father glared at him.

"Just because you think you have some epic romance with my daughter and that you and Sam are her knights in shining armor, gives you no right to judge me or my wife when it comes to Mercedes! Everything we do has her best interests at heart!"

"Is going to Kenya for an entire summer keeping my best interests at heart? Leaving me alone in that huge house? Or not celebrating my birthday? How about spending Christmas on a cruise while I sit at home eating frozen dinners and watching TV? You're so full of shit!" Mercedes shouted, "Stop trying to act like the things you do help me, because they don't."

"We're teaching you independence," her father said, his voice low and rumbling like James Earl Jones reading the King James bible, "We never wanted you to be weak."

Mercedes' eyes filled with tears.

"You were teaching me that you don't care every time you walked out that door and never bothered to look back to see if I was ok."

"We can't baby you forever," her mother said, "I tried my best to get you to do better, but you constantly defy me and – "

"You've never babied me at all; I was always an adult even when I didn't understand what was happening. I tried so hard to be who you wanted…" Mercedes thought of the invisible princess and the butterflies she used to catch with her father; she could see the gold walls of her parents' room close in on her, and suddenly, she lost her balance and felt light-headed. Finn held her as she stumbled.

"Mercy?"

"I need to sit down," she whispered.

Finn nodded, and before she could protest, he picked her up, carrying her into the living room with the others following close behind. He had always been protective of her, and now, since she was pregnant, he treated her like she was made of porcelain. Mercedes usually got annoyed with this treatment, but now she took comfort in the gesture and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I guess I'm a little tired."

"This is too much for you."

When they got to the living room, Finn placed her on the loveseat and then sat down next to her, putting his arm around her.

"Sweetie, do you think you need to lie down upstairs?"

"No, this is fine."

Her parents walked over to her and her mother knelt in front of her, placing her hand on her knee.

"Did you eat?"

"Yes, I had breakfast."

The doctor side of her mother was coming out.

"Do you have any pain anywhere?"

"Only the pain that you've left."

"That's not fair."

"Aren't you the one who told me that life isn't fair?"

Her mother stood up.

"After you've rested, you'll pack and we can go home."

Mercedes laughed, shaking her head at the absurdity of it all.

"I'm not leaving."

Carol stood behind the couch, her hands clasped in front of her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jones, running off with Mercedes isn't the answer."

Her parents looked at each other and then sat down on the couch beside Blaine and Kurt.

"I'll go get the coffee," Carol said and left the room.

Mercedes fixed her eyes on the grandfather clock in the corner, listening to it tick off the minutes. Blaine shifted in his seat and held Kurt's hand. He glanced over at her parents who were staring straight ahead into the fireplace.

"So how was traffic?"

Her mother flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"It was fine," she paused and looked around the room "You have a lovely house."

"Thank you."

"Where are your parents?" Mr. Jones asked.

"Away on business."

"Hmm, what type of business are they in?"

"Industrial machinery."

"Oh."

The group fell silent once again. Finn caressed her shoulder. Carol returned with a tray of mugs filled with coffee, the steam rose from each cup in thin white ribbons. After she set the tray down she said:

"I forgot the cream and sugar. I'll be right back."

When she was gone, Mercedes said to her parents:

"How did you find me?"

"We found the Map Quest directions in your room and that had the address. Mrs. Jones said as fiddled with her gold chain, "Why didn't you use your GPS?"

Mercedes shrugged.

"I always print out directions just in case. I guess I forgot them."

Carol returned with a bottle of creamer and a silver sugar bowl. She placed them both on the table, and after she dumped a few spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee, she sat in the recliner adjacent to the couch.

"So what did I miss?"

Mr. Jones leaned forward and began to pour cream in his coffee.

"I know we don't see eye to eye on any of this, but how can you condone what these kids are doing?"

Carol took a sip of coffee.

"I didn't at first, and I have reservations, but I see how much they love each other and I can only offer my support. My son is a remarkable young man and I'm proud of him, I worry how this will effect their future and –"

"What future?" Mrs. Jones asked as she picked up her mug, "This all ends today."

"No it doesn't," Mercedes said, "This is just the beginning."

"We're getting married," Finn said.

Mr. Jones almost spit out his coffee, but managed to swallow instead.

"Are you insane? You can't legally marry two people."

"Dad, we know that, ok? We're getting rings and we'll have our own ceremony."

"Don't expect us to attend!"

"I stopped expecting things from you a long time ago."

"There won't be a ceremony, because there won't be a relationship," her mother said, "I wasn't kidding about the psychiatrist. You have no grasp on reality; you need help."

"I'm not the one who needs help."

"Are you saying that I do?"

"Why won't you talk about Amelia?"

Her mother looked away.

"Answer me! Why is she a secret?"

She felt Finn grip her arm.

"Mercy…"

"Let me do this."

After a few moments of silence, her mother spoke.

"That has nothing to do with this ridiculous relationship you're in. Besides it's a private family matter."

"Well, Mom, these people are my family. You see this boy beside me? We've been through hell together and he's loved and protected me the entire time; when I cry, he and Sam are the first ones to hold me," then Mercedes pointed to Carol, "and that woman over there, she's the mother that you never were, she encourages me when I need it most; and him, she said nodding toward Kurt, "he calls me Diva because that's what I am in his eyes and his boyfriend beside him, he opened his home to me, and never judged us; I'm surrounded by nothing but love in this room, so there's no reason to hide."

Her mother didn't respond. She only stared down at her hands.

"Mom?"

Mr. Jones touched his wife's shoulder.

"Grace, maybe we should step out for a moment."

She ignored him and asked Mercedes:

"Why are you doing this? Is it your twisted way of getting the focus off of your poly love triangle?"

"No, because you buried everything about her."

"I don't want to relive memories."

"I need to know about my sister."

"You have no idea what you're asking me to do – opening up all those wounds."

"I've always had so many questions, but we could never talk about her. I just want answers," Mercedes said.

"Answers to what? Did you want to know that Amelia's body was burned beyond recognition, and that we had to have a closed casket at her funeral? All that was left was her charm bracelet that a fireman gave to me in a little plastic bag," she stopped talking for a moment, and simply held the coffee mug, gazing into it; she looked up and said, "We gave it to her for her birthday. I never thought she would die wearing it."

"I'm so sorry," Carol said.

Mrs. Jones glanced over at her.

"Everybody is always sorry. I've heard those words so many times that it's like telling someone to have a nice day or asking a stranger how they're doing when you could really care less. What does all of it mean anyway? A bunch of empty words that are supposed to make you feel better."

"Grace, please, you know she's only being compassionate," Mr. Jones said.

"Her compassion along with everyone else's does nothing for me," Mrs. Jones said as she closed her eyes, and when she opened them, they shined with tears, "I had to bury her, don't you understand?"

"I want to know what happened on the day I was born," Mercedes said. "How could you do this to your mother?" Mr. Jones asked.

"I've spent my life in the shadow of someone I couldn't even talk about. I felt as if God stole your angel, and left you with me – a devil to punish you."

"Mercedes, you may think you're grown, but you're still very much a child. That's not how it was at all. You were never the devil," Mr. Jones said, "All children are blessings, including you."

"Well I wasn't treated like one. I never ask for much, but I am asking for this. I want to know what happened."

Nobody said anything for a few minutes and then her mother spoke.

"Amelia sang to you everyday while I was pregnant with you. She would put her hand on my stomach, and she'd sing all sorts of songs, but the one she sang the most was Jeannette Isabella."

Mercedes smiled.

"That's my favorite Christmas carol."

"I know and the reason she always sang it was because whenever she did, you would kick a lot, and a couple of times, I even felt you turn over. She said you were dancing. You know your voice is a lot like hers; you got that from her."

"Really?"

Her mother nodded.

"Yes, and she was singing to you on the day you were born. We were out on the deck, and she put her hand on my belly like she always did and started singing Jeanette Isabella. You kicked a few times, and not too long after that, my contractions started."

She took a few sips of her coffee and sat the mug down on the table.

"Your father was frantic, driving to the hospital. I just remember seeing a red truck ramming into us from behind and we crashed into the car in front of us. I don't know how you or me survived that. Amelia was screaming in the back seat. The engine caught fire and I couldn't stop it and I wanted to stop it and I couldn't – and she needed my help… "

"Grace, please, I can't listen anymore," her father said, "We can't bring her back."

"You didn't even try to help her!"

"How can you say that?"

"I was able to hold her hand. I wanted to take her with me and you wouldn't let me. You told them to pull me out. You forced me to let go. I wanted to hold on as long as I could…"

"She was trapped in her seatbelt. There was no way you could've taken her with you. I could barely move myself. I did the best I could. I tried to climb back and release her. I tried. Blood was everywhere. I couldn't breathe. I heard her screams; they sliced through me and I still hear them everyday. Don't you believe that I loved Amelia too?"

"You made me let go of my baby," she said, "I wanted to take my baby with me."

"You were in labor."

"Nobody tried hard enough. If they had, they would've gotten her out in time, but then the explosion..."

"She was my daughter too. I loved her more than anything in this world. I swear I've gone over it a million times on what everyone could've done better – from the firemen to the paramedics to everyone on that highway, and it all looks the same."

"I can still feel her hand slipping from mine," she said and then turned to Mercedes, "They put me on a stretcher and I felt you coming out of me, you were so impatient, ready to be born, I only had to push a few times and you were there, crying and wiggling around in the paramedic's arms and I thought Amelia had come back to me."

Mercedes cried as Finn held her.

"It was all so close," Mrs. Jones said.

"What was?" Mercedes asked.

"Your birth. Her death. I thought maybe she was born through you again. I kept searching for her in your eyes. But she wasn't there."

"I'm not Amelia."

"I know. It was like she died twice. Everything about you was different, except the voice, and I resented you."

"Why did you resent me? I didn't do anything except be born."

"You wanted too much from me."

"Too much?"

"I was empty and you demanded things I didn't have in me to give."

"You mean things like being my mother?"

"Every night, I dream of pulling her out of the car and holding her hand… "

Mercedes stood up, and went to her mother, kneeling before her.

"Did you ever love me?"

Her mother began to cry.

"Before you were born it was all joy and love. Those feelings you get when you know another piece of you is created. But after her death, things changed. I tried. I really did. But I just wanted her back. Do you understand?"

"No, because I grew inside your womb too. Why did your love stop with her?"

"I don't know. I died with her. I'm sorry. I just don't know."

"I read your journal," Mercedes said.

"Where did you find it?"

"In your closet."

Her mother picked up a napkin from the coffee tray and wiped her eyes.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Mercedes knew she shouldn't ask the question that burned inside her - it was like twisting a knife into her heart.

"Do you still think the wrong child died?'

"Mercy, don't do this," Finn said, "Baby, come on, please..." He tried to coax her off the floor as her mother sat there frozen on the couch crying.

Her father reached for her hand.

"Mercedes, your mother was going through a difficult time, her mental state was fragile."

"Dad, I don't care! I want to know if the wrong child died."

She touched her mother's knee.

"I guess I was a mistake, huh? Is that why I found you on the bathroom floor? I thought it was a game. You were Sleeping Beauty, and I had to wake you up. But you wouldn't open your eyes. When the ambulance came, I thought the men in white coats were taking you to a crystal castle, but then I saw Dad crying and I knew. Were you trying to get to her?"

Her mother didn't answer her. She only covered her face with her hands and cried. Mercedes felt a wave of nausea and quickly stood up, rushing down the hall to the bathroom, with Finn following her. She flung open the door and raced over to the toilet, bending over it, she threw up, as tears streamed down her face. After she was done, Finn reached over and flushed the toilet and helped her stand up.

"You're not a mistake," he said.

Mercedes filled a Dixie cup with water and rinsed out her mouth. Her stomach still felt queasy. She picked up the small bottle of mouthwash on the counter and poured some into the cup, the bright green liquid burned her tongue as she swished it around in her mouth, her eyes watered and she spit it out into the sink.

"You heard her what she said."

"Mercy, she's damaged. Hurt people hurt other people."

He hugged her and she rested against him with his arms securely bound around her until someone knocked on the door. It was her father.

"May I come in?" he said through the door.

Finn looked down at Mercedes, shaking his head.

"Not now."

"Is she ok? I heard vomiting."

"I'm fine, Dad. Just leave us alone."

"Your mother was in a bad way. I hope you understand that."

Mercedes' head ached and she closed her eyes.

"Go away."

They listened to his footsteps as he walked down the hall back to the living room. Finn sat on the toilet with Mercedes on his lap. He placed his hand on her forehead and rubbed gently.

"I want you to take slow, deep breaths."

"Finn I –"

"Please, for me?" Mercedes did as he asked as he continued to rub her forehead; the pain slowly went away. She was falling asleep when she heard Finn say:

"Do you want to go upstairs and take a nap?"

"No, everyone is waiting for us."

"So? You've been hurt enough as it is."

She stroked his chest.

"I know but there is something I need to do."

"Ok, I love you."

"I love you too."

They stayed in the bathroom awhile longer and then went to join everyone else in the living room.

**ooo**

When Mercedes and Finn returned, Mrs. Jones stood up; her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"It's getting late," she said.

"I know," Mercedes said and paused a moment, "I have to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"I'm pregnant."

Mrs. Jones was silent. Mr. Jones hopped off the couch and yelled at Mercedes.

"What do you mean you're pregnant? It's bad enough you're trying to convince us that what you're doing is normal, but now there's a child to consider? And what about birth control? You were on the pill! How could you let this happen?"

"I don't know."

"You knew about this, didn't you?" He said to Carol, who sat on the edge of the recliner looking nervous, "Is this why you wanted to talk to us so badly?"

"Partly, but we needed to talk because our kids are in a unique relationship."

"So who do you think the father is?" Mr. Jones asked, "Finn or Sam?"

"That doesn't matter. We're in this together," Mercedes said.

Mrs. Jones finally spoke.

"Are you going to keep it?"

"Yes." Mercedes had no idea how or when she reached that decision and surprised herself with the answer. Finn looked at her in shock but didn't say anything.

Her mother folded her arms.

"If you think you've been through hell already, think again. Welcome to Dante's next circle. It only gets worse."

"I thought you were still weighing all of your options," Carol said as she stood up and walked over to her, "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure."

Mrs. Jones said, "I'm too tired to reason with you. This is the life you've chosen, so you're free to live it. We'll send you your things."

"What are you saying?"

"I'll tell you what she's saying," Mr. Jones said, "You're on your own with this. Until you come to your senses, you'll have to live somewhere else."

Finn tightened his arm around Mercedes. "She has a home with us. You can send her things there."

"Well that's big of you, considering you're just as much to blame for this as she is," her father said, glaring at Finn, "I want to kill you, but I think your new life is punishment enough. Are you really standing by her? Have you thought about your own future?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't and we'll figure out the future together."

"That doesn't sound like a plan. You're children taking on adult responsibilities and that baby will suffer, mark my words. Do you have any idea what people will say when they look at the life you created for yourselves?"

"Sure we have, but we love each other enough to get through it," Finn said.

Mr. Jones sighed and said to Mercedes:

"It's as if you're in a cult and they brainwashed you. We didn't raise you to spread your legs for two boys, get pregnant, and not even know which one is the father."

Mercedes sat down on the loveseat and gazed up at him.

"That's not how it is and you know it. It's probably best that you and Mom aren't a part of my life anyway. You've only hurt me. I'll find my way with or without your support."

Mr. Jones' eyes filled with tears.

"I don't want to stop being your father."

"You were only my father a little while and that's over."

"If you change your mind about keeping the baby, then you can come home, and we'll get you some professional help like your mother suggested," her father said.

Mercedes shook her head.

"That's not going to happen."

"She's made her decision," Mrs. Jones said as she linked her arm through her husband's, "And we can't change her mind. This is what she wants for herself. If these people are her family like she says, they'll come through for her."

Mr. Jones slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"We may not have been the best parents in the world, but that doesn't mean we want you to make the biggest mistake of your life. Nothing will ever be the same after this. What kind of life will the three of you have? Nobody is going to understand this relationship. I pray to God you'll get some sense. Until then, you know where to find us."

He leaned over and hugged her. Mrs. Jones stared at them and then kissed Mercedes on the forehead. It felt odd as if she were trying to play the role of a loving mother, and for Mercedes, it was too little, too late. Finn reached out and touched her father's elbow.

"Sir, I just want to say that Mercedes will always be loved and protected. We won't fail her or you."

Mr. Jones considered what he said then replied: "I don't think you realize what's happening, because if you did, you wouldn't stand by this ridiculous decision."

"Come on, it's time to go," Mrs. Jones said, tugging on her husband's arm. Blaine tried to get them to stay the night, but Mr. Jones refused.

"No, we have to be going."

"Are you sure? There's plenty of room," Blaine said as he put his arm around Kurt, "Besides you have such a long drive."

"It's alright, Blaine, but thanks anyway."

They said good-bye to everyone and as they walked to the front door, Mrs. Jones suddenly turned around and said to Mercedes:

"There's one more thing that you got from Amelia other than her voice."

"What's that?

"The ability to find good in something when no one else does," she whispered. Then her parents were gone.

**ooo**

That night Mercedes sat for a long time in the butterfly garden. She needed time alone, simply to think, and accept the journey she decided to take. The air was cool and lightning bugs bobbed about in the darkness. She absently caught them in her hand and watched their greenish yellow lights flicker on and off. Then she heard footsteps and Finn's voice calling out to her.

"Mercy!"

"I'm over here," she said, "At the far end."

Then she saw the light of the LED lantern shining as he walked toward her. He sat down beside her on the stone bench and placed the lantern on the ground. He threw a heavy red knitted shawl over her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

"It's getting chilly."

"Thanks for the shawl."

"Are you ok?"

"My parents sent me to live with another family and are no longer in my life. I'm about as ok as I can be."

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

She held his hand.

"Finn, please, I won't get mad… now what is it?"

"Did you decide to keep the babies just to spite them? Or did you suddenly change your mind? I mean you never mentioned that you wanted to keep them, and you kept showing me and Sam different adoption sites."

"No, it wasn't to spite my parents, though I can see how you would think that. I can't explain it. It really sort of hit me that I wanted to have this family. I don't know why."

"Mercy, why don't you think about it some more? Me and Sam want you to make the best decision for yourself, not just to please us."

"I know that and I swear to you that this is what I want to do, ok? "Alright. You know we should call Sam and tell him."

Mercedes snuggled closer to Finn, drawing warmth from his body.

"Let's do it first thing tomorrow morning. He's probably knocked out, and I hate to disturb him. I miss the three of us sleeping in the same bed."

"Me too."

They fell silent and simply held each other, listening to the crickets, and the wind blowing through the trees. Mercedes looked up into the starry sky and picked out constellations.

"Look, Finn, there's the Seven Sisters."

He gazed up into the sky and smiled.

"Cool, the only constellation I can find is the Big Dipper."

"Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"How come nobody ever tells the truth?"

"What do you mean?"

Mercedes paused and closed her eyes, bracing the pain in her heart.

"That life isn't always great."

"Well everybody knows that. Nobody has it easy."

"No, I mean, why don't people say that sometimes parents don't love their kids. And adults don't always have the answers – they're just as fucked up as kids."

"Your mother is broken."

"She doesn't love me."

"Mercy..."

"I have to accept it."

"What about your father? He had regrets."

"Yeah, I think he realized how his silence made things worse."

They stayed outside for a few more minutes until Mercedes began to sneeze and Finn insisted on calling it a night. "Come on, little mama, time for bed. We can't have you getting sick." He helped her off the bench, picked up the lantern, and then guided them inside the house.

* * *

**_JUST THE BEGINNING_**

**_Three days later…_**

Sam sang Red Solo Cup as Clodell wheeled him down the hall. He was ecstatic because Dr. Rhoden had finally given him the sign off to go home. Mercedes and Finn were picking him up at the front entrance. The last time they spoke, Mercedes told him that she decided to keep the babies, this surprised him, and though he was relieved, he hated that her parents kicked her out. Clodell laughed as he belted out the country tune, annoying the other patients in the hall.

"I see you're happy to get out of here."

Sam stopped singing.

"I can't wait to be with Cedes and Finn again."

"Sam, they were practically here everyday."

"I know but it ain't the same. You know? My heart doesn't feel right when the three of us aren't together."

Clodell merely nodded and turned the corner.

"I think I understand."

"I wish my mother did."

He thought about the fight they had that morning because he refused to ride back with her to Lima. After yelling at one another for about a half hour, she finally gave up and went home. He tried not to dwell on it and changed the subject.

"Clodell, I'm sorry if I gave you a hard time. I just hated being here."

"That's alright, besides, I actually enjoyed having the three of you around."

"Thanks. I guess we're hard to resist."

Clodell playfully bopped him on the head and kept pushing his chair. By the time they got to the pick up area, he saw Mercedes and Finn walk through the sliding glass doors, holding hands and smiling. His girlfriend looked so pretty in her green eyelet dress and brown sandals, her hair was fluffed around her head in a curly afro, and Finn looked handsome in jeans and a black t-shirt. Clodell helped him out of the wheel chair, he could walk on his own, but he was still a little weak. Dr. Rhoden said he would have to take it easy for a while. Despite his weight loss, Sam tried to look his best for them. He wore a green button down shirt that matched his eyes and faded jeans. Everything hung on his thin frame, but he hoped they would appreciate the effort, and from the look in their eyes, he could see that they did. Mercedes threw her arms around him, kissing his cheek.

"Baby, I'm so glad we're going home," she said, clinging to him. Finn hugged and kissed him too, and they ignored the curious and hostile stares of the people around them. Clodell stood off to the side, smiling at the reunion. After Mercedes and Finn released him, Sam walked over to her and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you for everything."

"No problem, just doing my job."

She wiped her eyes and said good-bye to Mercedes and Finn before rushing away, not wanting to get caught up in an emotional scene. Finn picked up Sam's duffel bag, and the three walked out into the bright morning sunshine where Kurt and Blaine sat waiting for them in the SUV. Carol had gone back to Lima a few days earlier. After they all settled into the back seat, they decided to stop off at a local diner called The Toddlehouse Cafe, before heading back to Lima. Blaine said they had the best waffles. Sam was eager to eat something other than hospital food, so he was looking forward to it, though Mercedes was concerned.

"Are you sure it won't make you sick?" she asked as they pulled into the parking lot.

He squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"I won't overdo it. I promise."

They strolled into the crowded diner filled with Star Pride residents and a few truckers. The restaurant was long and narrow like a typical diner and red and white striped curtains hung in the windows. A waitress with stringy brown hair came up to them. Her pink uniform was wrinkled.

"How many?"

"There's five of us," Kurt said.

She picked up some menus off of the counter.

"This way please." Sam put his arm around Mercedes. Something was off about her, and he couldn't place what it was. She was smiling and cheerful, but he sensed it was a front to appease them. After they piled into the booth, the waitress left and came back with a pitcher of ice water, which she placed on the table, and said she would return to take their orders. Mercedes sat between Sam and Finn and focused her attention on the red plastic menu.

"Everything looks good. It's hard to decide."

"Get the strawberry banana waffles. Those are the best." Blaine said as he poured himself a glass of water. Sam touched Mercedes' arm.

"Cedes?"

She looked up from the menu.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Of course I am, why?"

"Just checking." Sam wanted to say more, but decided against it, because when Mercedes put up a wall, you had to be patient enough to let it come down slowly. He looked at his reflection in the silver napkin dispenser and winced. His face was gaunt and there were dark circles under his eyes. He felt Mercedes touch his face as she gently turned his head.

"Hey, handsome. You ready to order?"

Sam looked over and saw the waitress standing there with a pad in her hand.

"Oh, I'll have the cinnamon French toast and a side order of bacon." Everyone else got waffles, leaving Sam as the odd man out. He looked down at his hands and for the first time noticed how pale they were.

"Babe, you're zoning out," Finn said, peering over Mercedes' head, "Did you want us to get this stuff to go?"

Sam smiled and shook his head.

"That's ok, I'm good."

Kurt clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "I want to talk about the elephant in the room."

"What's that?" Sam asked. He had a feeling Kurt was about to get on his nerves.

"What are you guys going to do after we graduate? Where will you live? What about college and jobs?" Sam sighed.

"Kurt, I know you mean well, but don't worry about us. We're figuring stuff out."

"Well, since he brought it up," Finn said, "I've been thinking, and I want to join the army, they'll pay for my education, and I can send my paycheck home to you and Mercy."

"When did you decide this?" Mercedes said, clutching her glass.

Sam lowered his voice, attempting to swallow his anger.

"There's no way in hell you're joining the army. How could you decide something like that without discussing it with us first?"

"What's wrong with the military?"

"For starters, you're leaving me, Cedes and our children behind. And worse than that, you could die. Those are very good reasons not to join."

"I've thought of that but I don't have many options. There's a very good chance I won't get into college, despite my improved grades. We're gonna need money. I thought this was the best way to get it and get an education too."

"What about working for Burt full time and going to community college?" Mercedes said, "I don't want you to go. We need you here with us." Finn rubbed her shoulder.

"Burt's been struggling with the business lately and he can't afford to pay much. Raising a family costs money. Besides we can't live with them forever."

"You know my father and Carol don't mind you staying with us, and his business always has slow periods. That doesn't mean it won't change." Kurt said.

"I know that but we made an adult decision and we're going to take care of it like adults."

Sam couldn't imagine Finn leaving them or possibly getting killed.

"You're not going Finn."

"That's not your decision to make," Finn said, "I don't want to go, but I want to do what's best for our family."

"I've got some money in my savings and a trust fund that I'll get when I'm 21. I'll get a job too. You don't have to leave," Mercedes said.

"I don't want you to work."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want you working either," Sam said, "It's our job to take care of you and we will." Sam knew he sounded old-fashioned and he didn't care.

"I love that you both want to take care of me. I really do. But I want to work too."

"You need to concentrate on school," Finn said, "We don't want you to give that up."

Sam grabbed her hand.

"You're going to have your dreams. We love you too much to not have that happen."

"I don't want either of you to sell yourself short. Both of you had dreams too. We'll work together. We have a lot of stuff to talk about - like where we'll live and how we'll run things."

"Ok, but the only decision we're making now is that Finn _isn't_ joining the army, Sam said as he looked over at his boyfriend, "It's not an option."

"Stop acting like you're my father."

"I'm not but I can't bear knowing that you could be lying somewhere injured or dead," Sam quickly blinked away the tears, "You're the father too, and like Cedes says, we need you here with us."

Mercedes became misty eyed as well. "We love you too much to lose you. We'll work something out. I promise."

"I have another reason why I want to do this; it's because I want my mother to be proud of me and I can follow in Dad's footsteps. Right now, I don't have much to show for myself," Finn said, staring down at the table, "I have a chance to really be somebody."

"Babe, you're already somebody and you've got a lot to be proud of," Sam said, hoping that Finn believed him.

Just then the waitress arrived with their orders and after everyone had their plates set before them, the trio held hands, bowed their heads, and Sam said grace. It was now second nature to them and Sam liked that they had a ritual to share, though he wasn't sure if it would go over so well at school. When he said amen, they opened their eyes and began eating. But Sam had lost most of his appetite and picked at his French toast. The discussion they just had was a sobering one; there was a lot they needed to do, and he still had to tell his parents. Maybe they were in over their heads.

"Listen, when we get home, we're going to sit down and make plans. I don't care if it takes all night. We'll make this work," Sam said with determination, he had found the family and love he always wanted with Mercedes and Finn, and he would do everything he could to keep them together.

"We can do this," Mercedes said and Finn nodded in agreement as he gave her a sticky kiss on the cheek.

Sam put his hand on Mercedes' stomach and rubbed it gently.

"Yeah, we can do this."

**ooo**

As they drove back to Lima, Sam traded kisses with Mercedes and Finn; it was fun making out with them in the back seat, a carefree, teenager kind of fun that would soon end. By the time Sam saw the gray stone sign that proudly proclaimed "Welcome to the Lima Community," Mercedes was asleep, her head resting on his shoulder and Finn was snoring. He smiled and kissed their foreheads before shaking them awake. Kurt pulled into the driveway of the Hudson-Hummel house as Sam unbuckled Mercedes' seatbelt. She covered her mouth and stifled a yawn.

"We're home already?"

He stroked her cheek and gave her a kiss.

"Yes, and you look beautiful in green by the way."

"So do you."

"Cedes, I look like death, but thanks for the compliment."

"No you don't."

He leaned over and kissed her and then he kissed Finn. They unloaded the luggage and went inside the house where they found Burt dozing in front of the television. Kurt tapped him on the head.

"Dad, wake up, we're home."

Burt slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey there son, good to see you. Are any of you hungry? Carol left a lot of snacks for you in the fridge." "

Where's Mom?" Finn asked as he dropped a few duffel bags on the floor.

"She went to the mall. There's a sale at Elder-Beerman's"

"I'm starving," Blaine said and headed toward the kitchen with Kurt following behind him.

Mercedes plopped down on the couch next to Burt and yawned.

"I could go back to sleep."

He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"So you're keeping the baby, huh?"

Sam was surprised at Burt's bluntness. He and Finn looked at each other before joining them on the couch.

"We're making plans about how we'll support each other, Sam said, his voice was shaky. The way Burt stared at him made him feel uneasy.

"You're making a mistake," he said, "The three of you are too young and inexperienced to be taking something like this on. You're still learning and growing, and pardon my language, but you're only 18 for fuck's sake."

"Your wife supports us," Sam said.

Burt sighed.

"I know and that's why I love her."

"Then why are you against us?" Finn asked.

"Because I'm a realist. Look, all children are blessings. I just don't think any of you are ready - even if you think you are. But you've made your decision. So can you stay here as long as you need to. I heard what happened with your parents Mercedes and I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said as she hung her head.

Sam turned and faced Burt.

"Mr. Hummel, I've been beaten, told I was worthless, raped by a man who I thought cared about me, and had a nervous breakdown. I almost died twice in my life and I'm still here. I think I'm more than ready for what life hands to me."

Burt looked at him and didn't say anything for a long time. He stood up and opened his arms and Sam went to him and the two embraced. Burt held him tight against his chest.

"Damn, kid, you're a fighter."

Sam pulled away and looked at him.

"I don't know how else to be."

A few tears fell from Burt's eyes.

"That's a good thing, cause you wouldn't be standing here otherwise."

**ooo**

Later that night, the trio sat in the kitchen discussing the future as they drank chocolate banana milkshakes that Sam made. Mercedes had never tasted anything as delicious as those cold, frothy shakes; she stirred the thick, brown liquid before taking another large sip. Finn jotted everything down on a yellow legal pad.

"Ok, we're going to live here until we find a place or go away to school, right?"

"Yeah, but I have to see what happens with my parents first, Sam said, as he licked a milkshake mustache from his upper lip, "Cedes, are you still applying to the University of Ohio?"

"I think so. But where are you and Finn applying? You know it might be better for us to just do the online thing for a while."

"There's this online school that has a good music composition and technology program that I'm interested in," Sam said, "And they offer financial aid. I'll be working too."

Finn raised his eyebrows.

"Music composition?"

"Yeah, I guess I better tell you guys that I want to compose music for movies. And I've been writing songs. In fact, I've written a few about the three of us."

"How come you never said anything before?" Mercedes asked.

Sam shrugged.

"I don't know. Probably because I thought it wasn't practical, but now I think I want to do this. I can also learn about sound recording and work in a studio."

Finn put down his pen.

"I want to hear your songs."

"You will. I promise. I just need to work on them a little more."

"I haven't decided but I think I want to major in music education," Mercedes said, "and I also need to think about how I'm going to finish senior year."

Finn stood up and took his empty glass to the sink.

"If you don't feel up to going on some days, we can bring you your assignments and everything. Don't worry."

"Thanks and we need to talk about doctor's appointments and stuff like that too because –"

She stopped talking. The sound of the front doorbell startled her and she jumped in her chair.

"Who could that be at this hour?"

Finn placed a calming hand on her shoulder.

"It's ok, Mercy. You're safe."

Sam left to answer the door. A few moments later he came back into the kitchen.

"It was your mother. She wouldn't come inside but she wanted me to give this to you," he said and handed her a small black box. Mercedes took the box from him, not wanting to open it. She just held it in her hands, staring at it. "

What do you think it is?" Finn asked.

"I don't know. I guess there's only one way to find out." After hesitating a few moments longer, Mercedes finally opened it. Inside there was a silver charm bracelet that was slightly blackened in some areas. A four-leaf clover, a heart and a ballet slipper dangled from it.

_All that was left was her charm bracelet…_

There was also a note folded up inside the box too. She quickly read it.

_I can't give you answers. I wish I could. I'm trying to let go. I hope you can too._

Mercedes dropped the note and bracelet on the table.

"That belonged to Amelia."

Sam and Finn held her as she cried.

"I don't know how to feel," she said, "Tell me how to feel."

But of course there was nothing they could say.

* * *

**END NOTES:** Thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary: **Sam, Finn, and Mercedes experience a spiritual awakening. Sam confronts his father and protects Stevie and Stacey.

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning:** This chapter has a lot of spiritual/religious elements. Homophobic and racist slurs are used. Mild cursing. Violence and attempted abuse are featured.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait but I've been busy with my job. This chapter is _very_ Sam centric. Thanks for reading and Happy St. Patrick's Day!

* * *

_**TELL ME ABOUT HEAVEN**_

They did their best to comfort Mercedes. Sam felt helpless as she cried in their arms.

"Just keep holding on, Cedes, hold onto us for as long as you can. I bet she's watching over you."

"Who is?" Mercedes asked.

"Amelia."

"You believe in stuff like that?"

"Think about it. All that love she had for you doesn't just die; it keeps going somehow."

Finn kissed the top of her head.

"Sometimes I think my Dad watches over me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's something I feel inside me."

"I think I understand. But she suffered so much…"

Sam stroked her cheek.

"I can't explain pain. I wish I could. I just know we have to live in moments. For all the suffering she had in the end, she had a beautiful life before that."

Mercedes laid her head on his shoulder and played with the angel pendant around his neck.

"What do you guys think heaven is like?"

"Big and bright. Like a giant ball of light. And everyone is singing," Sam said.

Finn took longer to answer.

"I never thought about it much. I guess it's just really peaceful like when I wake up in the morning and the house is quiet and I feel like everything is perfect."

"Well, I don't have a picture like you guys do, but I guess it's somewhere like a pretty garden and you're filled up with joy when you're there."

They stayed up all night talking about everything that happened and what the future would hold for them. Sometimes Mercedes lapsed into a crying jag, and they held her until it was over and she could speak again. Sam figured her pregnancy hormones were also kicking into high gear. Around 6:00 the next morning, they went outside and sat on a blanket in the backyard to practice their ritual of watching the sunrise together. Mercedes sat between Sam and Finn, and they wrapped their arms around her.

"I feel like praying," she said.

"Go ahead," Sam said.

"I don't know what to say. I feel so scattered."

"Don't worry about the words," Finn said.

Mercedes nodded and closed her eyes.

"Thank you God for my journey and for the love you brought into my life. Please help my mother and father to heal."

Then Finn said:

"Thank you for giving us another day and for the life growing inside Mercedes."

Finn and Mercedes touched Sam in ways he never thought possible. Now more than ever he wanted to protect them. Tears came to his eyes, and he let them slide down his cheeks. A soft breeze blew and the sunlight was like a warm blanket draped over their shoulders. He thought of what lie ahead and was even more determined that they would make it, no matter what it took.

"Father, I know we haven't spoken like this for awhile, but thank you for making my heart full and for the strength to keep going. Thank you for our family."

More words were spoken, tumbling out of their mouths, through tears of gratitude and pain; they held each other, releasing everything to something greater than them. It was a homecoming for Sam, the joined prayer of thanks, because now they were all connected spiritually and that felt wonderful.

They sat outside awhile longer, holding hands, and watching the day unfold around them. Ruby-throated hummingbirds danced about in the sunshine as they ate from the feeders hanging from the trees. The round, clear plastic, globes were filled with sweet, amber colored liquid that enticed the birds to come into the yard. Sam remembered the day that he, Finn and Mercedes, helped Carol hang the feeders in the back yard. It was a hot August afternoon and they got caught in a downpour just as they finished, racing into the house, almost tripping on the wet grass as they ran for cover. Nothing special happened that day, but it was tiny moments like this that made him feel like Mercedes and Finn were his forever.

Sam leaned over and kissed Mercedes, rubbing her stomach and telling her he loved her. She smiled and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"You don't mind that I'm broken?"

"You're not broken. You just have a few cracks"

"More than a few."

Sam smiled.

"Well, I have at least a million and you love me anyway. Besides they make you beautiful."

Mercedes gazed up at him, her face puzzled.

"How?"

"They remind me that no matter what happens to you - you always choose love over fear. They show me who you are."

Mercedes' eyes filled with tears. She held his face between her small, brown hands.

"Samuel Ethan Evans, you're amazing."

"I second that," Finn said as he kissed them both on the cheek.

Sam hugged them.

"I love you both so much."

He kissed her again and then he kissed Finn, caressing his cheek as he whispered how much he loved them.

**ooo**

After a quick breakfast of toast and eggs, Mercedes was tired, so they went upstairs to the bedroom. Finn and Sam helped her undress, kissing each body part as they removed her clothing. Sam let his hands glide along her back and over the beautiful swell of her full, round buttocks; Finn palmed her heavy breasts while kissing her neck. She moaned under their ministrations, succumbing to their advances. They each kissed her before slipping a nightgown over her nude body. Sam wanted to do more and he could tell that Finn did too, but their girl was exhausted, and she needed her rest. She climbed into bed and they covered her with a pink Downy scented quilt. He and Finn lay on either side of her, and sang softly, until she was fast asleep. They kissed her lips and then quietly departed, descending the stairs holding hands.

* * *

_**WELCOME HOME, SAM**_

Later that morning, when Finn drove him home, Sam didn't expect to see his father's red pick up truck in the driveway. Finn grabbed his hand as they pulled up to the house.

"Do you think you'll be ok?"

"Yeah, I think so. Don't worry about me, just take care of Cedes, she needs us more than ever."

"Of course I'll take care of her. I love her as much as you do."

"When is her first appointment with the obstetrician?" Sam asked.

Finn thought for a moment.

"It's on Friday morning, do you think Mr. Chang will let you take off?"

"He's in China on vacation, so he closed the shop. I won't start for another two weeks."

"Oh. You know maybe you should wait until your Dad leaves for work."

"Babe, I'll be fine. You worry too much. Besides, I have to face him sooner or later."

Finn tightened his grip on Sam's hand.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Why?"

"I know your father doesn't abuse you anymore, but –"

"I can handle him. Don't worry."

Sam kissed him and hugged him close.

"Go on home and take care of our girl. She's been through so much. She needs our strength."

Finn shook his head.

"I want you to go inside, get your stuff, and move in with us today."

Sam pulled away from him; he noticed a slight panic in his boyfriend's voice.

"Finn, I can't just leave Stevie and Stacey behind right now. That would hurt them. I want to live with you and Cedes, but I need to sort things out first. You understand, right?"

"I understand. It's just that you haven't seen him in awhile that's all. What if he goes off on you or something?"

"Like I said, I can handle him. Now go home. I love you." Sam said and kissed him once more.

"I love you too, and please be careful. We just got you back."

Then Sam understood. Finn and Mercedes had endured a lot when he was in the hospital, not knowing if he was going to live or die, and he wasn't as strong as before because his body was healing.

"I'll be careful. You gave me this angel for a reason, remember?" Sam held up the gold angel and dangled it in front of him.

Finn gave him a crooked smile.

"Tell Stevie and Stacey I said hi. Call us later."

Sam opened the door and got out of the car.

"I will. Drive safe."

As Finn drove away, Sam stood in the driveway for a few moments staring at the car until it turned onto the next street and out of his range of vision. He sighed and adjusted his duffel bag over his arm and walked up to the front door. Before he could dig his key out of his back pocket, the door flung open.

"My word, I thought I heard somebody out here!" Aunt Patty said and threw her chubby arms around him, "You look like the Grim Reaper, Sam, but I'm so happy to see you."

Aunt Patty always gave the best hugs. The love she felt for you was magnified with the ferocity of her touch. Her round body pressed against his, he smelled lavender on her skin, and the green terry cloth robe was soft and fluffy; she was like a giant pillow he could sink into.

Then he heard Stevie shouting and running toward them.

"Sam!"

He hugged Sam's waist, his skinny little arms, making a place for himself in what was now a group hug. Sam pulled back from Aunt Patty, and reached down and kissed the top of his brother's head. Stevie's chestnut brown hair was a shade lighter and was sticking up in some places; his Spiderman pajamas were too big, and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Sam forgot that he had to take it easy, and picked up Stevie, holding him against his heart. Soon Stacy came outside too, yelling and jumping up and down. She looked like the healthy, energetic little girl he remembered in Tennessee, with her golden hair shining in the morning sun and her cheeks flushed pink. Her white nightgown had an orange juice stain on the front. Sam suddenly felt weak and had to sit down on the steps. Stacy climbed into his lap and hugged him.

"So glad you're home…"

"I think y'all might've tired out poor Sam. Let him breathe," Aunt Patty said, looking down at them.

"I'm okay," Sam said, as he held onto his brother and sister, "I'm so happy to see you guys."

Suddenly Sam heard the raspy voice he dreaded all his life.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in."

He looked up and saw his father standing over them. Blonde stubble covered his face and his skin was sunburned; he had more muscles then Sam remembered. The denim shirt he wore was unbuttoned and wrinkled.

"Hi Dad."

"You think you're too good to get a hair cut?"

"Sammy's not too good," Stacey said in his defense, "I think his hair is pretty like this."

"Since when does a teenage boy need to be pretty?"

"Shut up, Cain," Aunt Patty said to his father, "Let's go inside. No need to give the neighbors a show." She picked up Sam's duffel bag, "Y'all help your brother stand up."

Stevie and Stacey tugged on his wrists as he mustered the strength to stand. Once he stood up, they held his hands and everyone went inside the house.

**ooo**

When Sam was a little boy, he often had to remind himself that his father was a human being, especially when he beat him for even the smallest infraction. Sam's cries during his punishment only infuriated his father, leading to more lashes from his belt, and Sam learned to carry his pain inside the best way he knew how. Sometimes he prayed, other times he imagined leaving his body, watching his soul float and hover over the tragedy he had for a life.

Now as they sat around the kitchen table eating the waffles and sausage that Aunt Patty made for them, Sam once again had to remind himself that Cain Evans was human. This sullen man had lifeless gray eyes that resembled dead fish floating in a pond. No emotion. No love - just a coldness that seeped through his handsome exterior. If a stranger saw them sitting together they would think his father was a polite acquaintance stopping through town to say hello, but not staying long enough to really know them. Mr. Evans rarely spoke during the meal. Sometimes he cleared his throat or mumbled something under his breath, but other than that, he merely observed his family as if he were watching TV with the sound off, taking in the images on the screen but not processing what was there.

Sam wasn't hungry, but he didn't want to hurt Aunt Patty's feelings, so he pretended to eat, cutting up the waffle in tiny bits and moving them around on his plate. Stevie and Stacey told him stories about everything from finding a baby toad under a rock in the back yard to what kind of toy that got in their McDonald's Happy Meals. Aunt Patty bustled about the kitchen making sure everyone was taken care of before finally sitting down next to his father and helping herself to some food.

"Are you coming with us to the pool?" Stacey asked Sam, as she dipped a piece of waffle into the puddle of syrup on her plate, "Aunt Patty is taking us."

"Oh, Sam's not up for that," Aunt Patty said, "He needs his rest. Just look at him, he's skin and bones. Didn't they feed you at the hospital."

"They fed me a lot of broth."

Stevie made a face.

"That's gross."

"Yeah, it was kinda gross."

Mr. Evans stood up from the table and scraped the remnants of his meal into the trashcan before putting his plate in the sink. He glared at Sam before leaving the kitchen.

"Maybe you should get a hair cut," Stevie said as he nibbled on a sausage link.

Sam looked over at him.

"Why?"

Stevie shrugged and looked down at this plate.

"Cause Dad will stop being mad at you."

"A hair cut won't change things."

"Stevie, quit flapping your gums and finish eating. We have to leave soon to get to the pool before it's too crowded," Aunt Patty said, "And Sam, I can see you don't have much of an appetite. Go on upstairs and get into bed. You need rest."

"What's flapping your gums?" Stacey asked.

"Running your mouth when there's things to do," Aunt Patty said as she rose from the table, "Now eat up."

Sam hugged his brother and sister before going to his room upstairs. Unlike their old house, he didn't have a room to himself and he and Stevie had to share. It wasn't so bad but he missed the privacy, and as much as he loved his little brother, his endless chatter about dinosaurs, Star Wars, and everything else under the sun made him yearn for solitude. He dropped his bag on the floor and lay down on the bed, just as he was about to close his eyes, there was a soft knock on his door.

"Come in."

Aunt Patty stepped into the room carrying two bottles of water. She walked over and placed them on the dresser.

"I brought these up in case you get thirsty and you don't feel like getting up."

"Thanks."

She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I know you're tired so I'll keep this short."

Sam's stomach tightened and he sat up.

"If it's about Dad. I can handle him."

"It's not."

"Oh."

"Your mother told me everything about you, Finn and Mercedes."

"Well, whatever you have to say about it doesn't matter. I'm going to be with them. I love them and they love me. That's pretty much it."

Aunt Patty was silent. Sam wondered if he made her angry but he really didn't care. He was tired of everyone throwing in their two cents about his "unique" relationship; he could admit that it was unusual, but he would be damned if he ever let anybody come between them. And now that Mercedes was pregnant, he felt even more protective. He wasn't sure when he would reveal that news to his family. Sam waited for her response. After a few moments, she said:

"I love your spirit."

Sam wasn't expecting that at all. He thought he was in for a lecture about his doomed future.

"You do?"

"To be honest, I have no clue about what it is you feel for them, but I know you've always had a huge heart, even though you were afraid to show it. I wish I had been around to protect you from Cain."

Sam scooted over to her and held her hand.

"Don't do that. You can't blame yourself. Do you think he will ever hurt Stevie or Stacey?"

"No, but I don't like his ways. It's hard not to blame yourself for things. I always wished I could've had children."

"I always wanted you to be my mom," he leaned against her and said, "So, you're cool with everything?"

Aunt Patty let out one of her infectious, belly shaking laughs.

"Boy, please. I got my hang-ups just like everybody else. Questions are running through my head. Is what you have even possible? Three people? But then I know who you are, and how you love, and in the end, if it works for you, I can't say much. I am worried about what this means down the road."

"So are we, but we're willing to take the chance."

"And now we come to your father."

Sam sighed.

"What about him?"

"He doesn't know of course but you can't stay here doing what you're doing. He'll find out eventually, one way or another."

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry I have a plan," he said as he covered his mouth and yawned, "I'm really tired."

"Alright, Sammy, I can take a hint. We'll talk some more later."

Sam got under the covers and closed his eyes.

"Sure thing."

As soon as she shut the door, Sam was fast asleep.

* * *

_**DREAMS AND FLIRTATIONS**_

Sam woke up late that afternoon to the sound of his cell phone ringing, he hopped out of bed, and rummaged through his duffel bag, finding the phone buried beneath his clothes. He saw that it was Mercedes and he smiled.

"Hey, baby," he said.

"Hi Sam, I was just sitting here thinking about you and I decided to give you a call."

"Well, I'm glad you did."

"You sound groggy."

"I just woke up. Coming home wore me out."

"Finn told me that your father is there."

Sam sat down on the bed and gazed out the window. Stevie and Stacey were in the yard doing cartwheels in front of the sprinklers. Sam wondered why life couldn't be that carefree all the time. Mercedes broke into his thoughts.

"Sam, sweetie, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here, just zoned out for a moment. Don't worry about my Dad."

"It's kind of hard not to. Why don't you bring Stevie and Stacey over here and we can all visit?"

"I want to but I can't. Maybe later in the week."

"Oh, yes, how could I forget?"

Sam closed his eyes and lay back on the bed.

"I don't want to rock the boat."

"I get it."

Sam's heart broke a little. He knew that seeing Stevie and Stacey would cheer her up but it just wasn't a good time.

"Hey, I'll come over later."

"Ok."

"Cedes…"

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine." Her voice was hollow and sad.

"As soon as I tell my parents everything, and I know that Stevie and Stacey will be ok, I'll move in with you and Finn."

"The sooner the better. We need you here."

"I know, baby, hang in there. I love you."

"I love you too. You know Finn had another dream."

"Uh oh, what was it?"

"Don't worry, it wasn't anything bad. All of us were living together with our kids in a big house and we're happy."

"I don't need a dream to tell me that's going to happen."

Mercedes laughed. "That's what Finn said!"

Sam felt a ripple of joy pass through him.

"See, the men you love think alike."

"Oh, so now you're a man?"

"Don't play, Miss Jones."

They chatted awhile longer and Sam was reminded of how much he liked to flirt with Mercedes; it had been so long since they had teased one another and made silly jokes. It was good to hear her giggle at how lame he was, since they both knew that he had no game, but one of the things he loved about Mercedes was that he never had to be anyone other than who he was.

After they said good-bye and Sam sang "Let's Stay Together" to her, he hung up the phone and stood and looked at himself in the mirror. He indeed resembled the Grim Reaper. Well, Finn and Mercedes thought he was handsome and that was all that mattered to Sam.

* * *

_**KISSES AND ROSES**_

During his first week home, Sam spent most of his time with Stevie and Stacey. He couldn't do anything too strenuous, so they played a lot of board games or had picnics in the park where they would people watch or Stevie would read his favorite comic books out loud to Stacey. Sam's medication was working, but he often felt weak and took naps to keep up his strength. He helped Aunt Patty in the kitchen, and she was all too glad to have an extra pair of hands to cook the daily meals.

He saw very little of his parents, who were both working longer hours than usual. That suited Sam just fine; though, he knew he eventually had to tell his father about his threesome relationship.

Sometimes he took Stevie and Stacey over to visit with Finn and Mercedes. They would sit in the back yard and play charades and sing songs; or simply watch a DVD, and if Stevie was feeling generous, he sat through Stacey's favorite movie of all time: Unicorn Princess. It was enough to make Sam gag, with all it's pink cotton candy sentimentality, but it made Stacey smile, so it was worth it. His brother and sister loved spending time with Finn and Mercedes; and Sam enjoyed watching them interact with the two people he planned to spend the rest of his life with. Finn gave them piggy back rides and showed them birds' nests in the woods behind the house and Mercedes made special treats for them like clown cookies and Jell-O jiggers. During those visits, Sam always managed to get time alone with Finn and Mercedes, to make out, or just hold each other for a while.

One afternoon, while Stevie and Stacey were busy playing checkers, Sam took Mercedes and Finn by the hand and they went outside to Carol's rose garden. They sat on the stone bench next to the blue rose bush, and embraced each other, feeling the emotional connection they all yearned for everyday. At first there were only gentle kisses and quiet whispers exchanged between them, but soon Sam's hand roamed under Mercedes' white lace tank top, and he tweaked her hard nipple, while his other hand squeezed Finn's ass. He was so caught up in the moment that he jumped when he saw Stevie and Stacey standing there wide-eyed.

"You two know better than to sneak up on us," Sam said, as he yanked his hand from underneath Mercedes' tank top, his face flushed red.

"We didn't sneak," Stacey said, shaking her blonde head, you were hiding from us."

Mercedes laughed and pulled away from Sam and Finn. She kneeled down in front of Stacey.

"Do you understand why we were kissing?"

"I do," Stevie said. "I've known a long time."

"That's true," Mercedes said smiling at him, but I want to make sure Stacey understands."

"I think so. You and Sammy and Finn all love each other right?"

"Yes, and we want to be together for a very long time. How do you feel about that?"

Stacey touched Mercedes' cheek.

"I love you and Finn and I love Sammy too, so I feel fine. Can we have another freeze pop? That's why we were looking for you guys."

Mercedes hugged Stacey.

"Of course you can, sweetie. And until we say it's ok, you probably shouldn't say anything about us together to anyone, alright?"

"Ok."

Sam sighed and took Stevie and Stacey by the hand.

"Come on, let's get those freeze pops."

Finn stood up, stretching his long arms.

"Yeah, our boy needs to cool off," he said.

Sam looked over his shoulder and laughed.

"Like Kurt says, keep it PG."

"It's a little late for PG," Mercedes said, as she put her arm around Finn and laid her head on his shoulder, "I'm glad they found us."

Stacey looked up at Sam, her grayish green eyes were confused.

"What's PG?"

"It's the same as an 8:OO word," Stevie said, before Sam could answer her, "It means its stuff we can see in a movie."

"Oh."

Sam kissed the top Stacey and Stevie's heads.

"I'm sorry that I snapped at you guys. I hope you understand that what we were doing was very private and only grown up people who love each other do those things. We should've been more careful."

"If there was a door, I would've knocked," Stacey said.

"Don't worry about it, Sugar. You didn't do anything wrong," Sam said.

After the embarrassing incident, it turned out to be a wonderful afternoon. Sam enjoyed lounging around in the back yard with his girlfriend, boyfriend, and siblings. Nothing extraordinary happened, but it was such a quiet, peaceful time that he wished that it would never end, though for the sake of avoiding another mishap, he kept his libido in check, which was difficult because both Finn and Mercedes looked exceptionally beautiful that day, but he settled for the sweet cuddling and warm embraces.

* * *

_**EVERY GOOD-BYE IS HELLO**_

By the end of the week, Aunt Patty had to go back to Philadelphia, and Sam cooked a special dinner in her honor with all of her favorite foods like roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and a chess pie for dessert. His parents were working as usual and missed the dinner. Stevie and Stacey helped him cook, and Sam was again reminded of how much he loved being with his little brother and sister. They were very eager to learn everything he taught them and were just great to be around.

Each of them made a going away gift for Aunt Patty. Stacey made her a necklace out of tiny seashells and Stevie painted her a picture of the beach because Aunt Patty loved the ocean. Sam made her a small jar of homemade vanilla sugar. After dinner, they surprised Aunt Patty with the gifts and she was overcome with joy.

"You kids are so sweet, I hate to leave you, but Leroy needs me," she said, wiping her eyes with a napkin, "I'm going to wear this necklace to church, hang this picture in my living room, and use this vanilla sugar for my special pound cake. That way, I'll always have a part of you with me. I love y'all so much."

They all hugged her and Stevie and Stacey began to cry because they realized this was good-bye.

"Don't cry," Aunt Patty whispered in their ears, "Don't cry, I'll come back real soon, ok?"

Even Sam had to blink back tears, but he managed to say:

"This isn't forever. She'll come back."

After Sam dropped Aunt Patty off at the airport later that afternoon, Stevie and Stacey were unusually quiet in the back seat.

"I hate good-bye," Stevie said, staring out the window. The fading orange light of the sunset shined on his face.

Sam wasn't sure what to do, so he started singing:

_There's a wonderful place just waiting for you. _

_There are wonderful things you'll get to do. _

_Out there, somewhere, the world and all it's wonders. _

_One small step is all it takes to know. Every good-bye is hello…_

"Mommy used to sing that to us," Stacey said.

"I know," Sam said, "Can you two sing along? One voice isn't enough."

At first Stevie shook his head, but Stacey nudged him.

"Oh, come on, Stevie. It won't be the same without you."

When Sam started singing the next verse, they joined him.

_There's a magical place. _

_I'll tell it to you. _

_Always honor the old but live for the new. _

_Out there, somewhere, about to be discovered. _

_Trust yourself and each new day will show. _

_How every good-bye is hello._

The car was now filled with hopeful voices instead of a sad silence. Sam felt their spirits lifted; and he was thankful that he remembered that song from long ago.

* * *

_**I ONLY WANTED SOMEONE TO SAVE ME**_

Later that night, after Stevie and Stacey had gone to bed, Sam and Mr. Evans sat in the living room watching TV and ignoring each other. His mother was working a double shift. Mr. Evans insisted on watching a Hitchcock film marathon on HBO. Sam thought it odd to sit in the dark living room, staring at Janet Leigh getting stabbed to death in the shower, while his father brooded beside him, his eyes fixated on the screen. Then out of the blue, Mr. Evans asked:

"So you back with Quinn yet?"

"No."

"Damn shame. She's like one of those Hitchcock blondes, you know?"

"I guess."

"Still with the fat one then?"

Sam looked over at his father.

"Her name is Mercedes."

On the TV screen, there was a close up of Janet Leigh lying dead in the shower, the camera zoomed in on her face then pulled away. Mr. Evans was silent again. He reached in to the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He stood up and lit one and opened the window. Sam watched him take a long drag and blow the smoke out into the warm night air.

"I thought you quit."

"I thought I did too, but I'm praying on it" there was a brief pause and he continued, "What in hell kind of name is Mercedes?"

"There's nothing wrong with her name; it's beautiful like the rest of her."

"You're sleeping with her, aren't you?"

Sam said nothing. Mr. Evans shook his head.

"The last thing I need are little half ape grand babies."

Sam heard Finn's words echo in his mind pleading with him to be careful. He wanted to punch his father, but the last thing he needed was his retaliation; Sam wasn't as strong as he had been.

Mr. Evans stared at Sam as he puffed away on his cigarette.

"I know you heard me."

Suddenly, someone came running down the stairs. Sam looked behind him and saw Stevie standing there with tears running down his cheeks.

"I had a bad dream."

Sam got up from the couch and went to him. He kneeled down before Stevie, pulling him into a soothing embrace.

"It's ok, you're safe now."

"The angels - " Stevie tried to speak but then he began crying again.

"What about angels?"

"They got you and Stacey."

"I'm fine and so is Stacey. Don't worry about the angels, alright? That won't happen for a long time."

"How come they wouldn't let us see you?"

"Stevie…"

"I wanted to sing for you and I couldn't."

"Shhh, it's ok"

"Stevie, get back upstairs, right now!" Mr. Evans said as he ground out his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, "You're too old to be bellyaching over a bad dream. You're awake now. None of that stuff is real!"

"It feels real!"

"Being real and feeling real aren't the same thing. Quit acting like a baby, man up, and get your tail upstairs and back into bed, do you understand me? I'm not raising another sissy faggot like Sam!"

This only made Stevie cry harder. Sam held onto his brother.

"It's ok," he whispered.

Mr. Evans had had enough.

"Stevie, do you want me to get the belt?"

All of Sam's resolve to stay calm dissipated.

"Don't touch him!"

"I know what's best for the one good son that I have."

"Sam, you're not gonna die are you?" Stevie said through his tears, "They fixed you in the hospital didn't they?"

By now, Stacey had come downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. She clutched her doll Maggie to her chest.

"What's going on?"

"Stevie had a bad dream."

"Oh, no, again?"

Sam didn't have time to ask her how long this has been happening - right now he had unfinished business with his father.

"Why don't you and Stevie go into the kitchen for some cookies and milk?"

Stacey reached for her brother's hand.

"Come on, Stevie, we're all here. The angels didn't get us."

Sam kissed each of them on the cheek.

"Go on, I'll be in there in a minute."

"Steven Edward Evans," Mr. Evans yelled, "if you take one step into that kitchen, I will beat you into next week. You will go upstairs, get back into bed and wipe off that snotty face of yours!"

Sam said a silent prayer. He asked God for strength for what he was about to do. He couldn't do this alone, his body was weak, and he wasn't sure if he had enough fight left in him.

"I won't let you treat Stevie the way you did me."

"Nobody _lets _me do anything," Mr. Evans said, "I'm the head of this house and he's my son and he will do as I say."

"He's scared."

"So what? I'm making sure he grows up to be a real man!"

"How? By beating him? A real man doesn't abuse his kids."

"It's called discipline. Spare the rod and spoil the child."

Sam shook his head.

"Discipline comes from love. What you're doing is cruel."

Mr. Evans tried to pull them apart. Stevie clung to Sam.

"No, you can't make me go back upstairs! I wish you weren't my father!"

Mr. Evans brought his hand up and was about to slap Stevie, but Sam quickly turned around and shielded his brother from the blow. Stacey screamed and kicked Mr. Evans in the shin.

"Stop hitting Sammy!"

Angered by her tantrum, Mr. Evans grabbed her beloved doll from her arms and flung it against the wall, Maggie's head cracked open and landed on the floor at Stacey's feet.

"Are you crazy?" Sam asked as he reached for his sister, who stood there in shock with tears flowing from her eyes. She picked up Maggie and hugged her. Mr. Evans stared down at her as she cried; his face was void of all emotion.

"She knows better. I won't be defied in my own home."

Stacey inspected the pieces of her doll.

"We can glue her back together, can't we Sammy?"

Sam felt hatred boil inside him. The abuse that almost claimed his soul was finally bestowed upon his siblings, and he had to stop it; he whispered in Stevie's ear:

"Go upstairs. Spiderman rule."

Stevie nodded.

"Come on, Stacey, let's go to bed. You're better now, right?"

Stacey didn't answer. She kept staring at what was left of Maggie. Then she looked up at Mr. Evans and said:

"She never hurt anybody. But you tried to hurt us."

"Go on upstairs," Sam said, not wanting his father to lose his temper again, "Turn on your nightlights."

"Ok."

Once they were gone, Sam stepped toward his father.

"You will never hit Stevie and Stacey. If you do I will kill you," Sam said, "I'm not above keeping that promise."

"He's gonna be brought up right, with God on one side and me on the other. I'll be damned if I let you fill him up with your sick weakness. You can't even stand on your own."

"I'm standing now."

The two men faced each other. Sam knew he didn't have much strength, but he couldn't back down from his father, not when Stevie and Stacey's welfare was concerned. Just then the front door opened and Mrs. Evans walked in carrying a wicker basket filled with clothes; the blue maid uniform she wore was faded and ill fitting, her blonde hair was coming out of the twisted bun that sat atop her head and there were dark circles under her eyes; she looked up and gave them a strained smile.

"Hello fellows."

Sam walked over to her, and took the heavy basket from her arms, placing it on the floor.

"You look tired," he said.

"I'm always tired," Mrs. Evans said as she released her hair from its bun, letting it fall to her shoulders. For a moment, Sam could see how his mother was once pretty. "I smell smoke; have you been smoking again?" she asked her husband.

Mr. Evans avoided her eyes, "I had a rough day," he said and he then pointed to the basket spilling over with clothes, "That better not be what I think it is."

"Cain, don't start. Not now." Mrs. Evans said.

"They think we can't do without their hand me downs. I don't need charity!"

"What's wrong with them being nice?"

"Get those clothes out of my house! Just because you clean their toilets doesn't mean you have to take all that crap they give you, like they're doing us a favor."

"I can't talk to you when you're like this. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed."

She tried to push past him, but he grabbed her shoulder.

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."

"Cain, I've had a long day. I promise I will get rid of the clothes first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll tell the Carringtons not to give me any more stuff. Ok?"

"No, you will take that basket of clothes out of here right now and call the Carringtons and tell them that you would appreciate it if they stopped giving you their trash."

"We need the money. I'll get fired."

"Are you saying I'm a poor provider?"

"Dad, leave her alone. She's exhausted. I'll take care of the clothes," Sam said, keeping his voice calm.

"I don't know why you can't get it into that worthless head of yours that you have NO say in what goes on in this house!"

"I have just as much say as you do because I'm protecting the people I love – especially Stevie and Stacey. You call yourself a man? You're nothing but a bully!" Sam said.

Mr. Evans shook his head and huffed out an exaggerated sigh.

"On the day you came back, dragging your sorry tail up to the door, with that long hair, looking like a bum, I knew trouble was going to start, and I was right. Now, I want you out of this house. Pack your stuff and get out. I don't care if I never see you again."

"Cain, be reasonable. You know that he just got out of the hospital," Mrs. Evans said, trying to appeal to him.

Mr. Evans shrugged.

"So? He looks healthy enough to me. I don't need him poisoning Stevie any more. He even has Stacey acting crazy."

Mrs. Evans picked up the basket of clothes.

"I'll take these out to the trash, and then we can all talk."

"At least you're talking some sense about the clothes, but I still want him out of my house," Mr. Evans said.

"He's your son and Stevie and Stacey look up to him."

"That's why he needs to go."

"I won't let you harm them," Sam said, "Throwing me out doesn't change that. I'll just keep coming back."

"You can't fight me forever," Mr. Evans said, "It's impossible.

"I don't plan to," Sam said, staring into his father's eyes. Mr. Evans grew flustered and looked away from him.

"I'm doing what's right."

"Abuse is never right."

Mr. Evans threw up his hands.

"Enough talking. I'm done. You've got 5 minutes to pack up your stuff and get out of here. Don't even think about trying to come back because –- " he stopped speaking for a moment then asked:

"Why is it so quiet?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I don't hear anything upstairs."

"It's their bedtime. They're asleep," Mrs. Evans said.

"Gayle, they just went upstairs before you got home, you know how they make noise before settling down."

Mr. Evans let go of her shoulder and walked upstairs; Sam followed behind him with his heart pounding in his chest.

_Please God… protect them…_

Mr. Evans flung open the door to the boys' bedroom and Stevie was nowhere to be found.

"Steven Edward, you better get your behind in this bed right now! I'm warning you!"

Mr. Evans stomped down the hall and opened Stacey's bedroom door, and she was also gone. Mrs. Evans rubbed his back in an effort to get him to calm down.

"They're playing hide and seek. Don't get so worked up."

He pushed her away.

"They deliberately disobeyed me. I won't allow it," he took a deep breath and shouted, "Stevie, Stacey, I want you both to come out from wherever you're hiding right now!"

His angry cries were only met with silence. He looked at Sam.

"Where are they?"

"I won't let you hurt them."

"You can't keep my children from me."

Mrs. Evans grabbed Sam's hand.

"Tell him where they are."

"No."

Mr. Evans began searching every room, randomly opening closets, looking under the beds and behind the dressers. He ran downstairs and searched the living room and kitchen with Mrs. Evans behind him, constantly trying to get her husband to calm down. She reached for his arm, but he recoiled at her touch.

"You aren't helping me," he said to her as he opened the closet in the foyer, yanking out all the winter coats, and tossing them on the floor, "I don't need to relax or calm down. In case you hadn't noticed, our kids are missing."

"They would come out if you would stop yelling. You're scaring them," Mrs. Evans said, stepping over the pile of coats to get closer to him, "Try being gentle for once."

"Gentle? They need a good beating. How dare they disobey me? "

Sam nervously gripped the banister as he watched his parents from the top of the stairs. Panic settled in his chest, he touched the angel pendant around his neck, and felt his body slowly relax. Mr. Evans slammed doors, and shoved the furniture around as if Stevie and Stacey would somehow appear in the chaos he created, but he gave up after awhile and trudged up the stairs. He grabbed Sam by the throat and pinned him against the wall.

"You got ten seconds to tell me where they're hiding."

Sam closed his eyes and began reciting the Lord's Prayer.

"Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name…"

Mr. Evan's grip on him loosened and his eyes lost their fiery anger; he now looked fearful.

"Thy will be done on earth as it is heaven…"

The words spilled from Sam quite easily, words he thought he had forgotten in all the pain and suffering he had endured, but now they fell from his lips and gave him courage and strength, and he knew that brother and sister would always be safe, no matter what happened. His father slapped him.

"Stop it!"

Sam felt the sting of the blow on his cheek, and he quickly finished the Lord's Prayer, and despite the pain, he began praying with his own words:

"Please forgive my father, Lord. Forgive him for all his anger and pain and abuse. Forgive him for his hatred. Open his heart so he can see what he's done and want to change. Fill him up with love. And open my heart too so that I can forgive him and not let this pain eat away at me."

Sam sobbed as he prayed. When the words caught in his throat, he pushed through anyway. He knew God was listening. His father fell to his knees and covered his face with his hands, he began screaming and yelling, and soon he too began to cry.

Mrs. Evans sat down beside him and put her arms around him.

"Cain, honey, just let it out…"

Sam looked down at him.

"You beat me so much that every day I woke up and wanted to die. You said I was worthless and didn't deserve anything. I got no love from you. You mocked and humiliated me every day, but still, I feel sorry for you, to have so much hate in your heart. Mark my words, you will never hurt Stevie and Stacey, I'll protect them for as long as I live. I don't care what it takes."

Mr. Evans continued crying as his wife held him. They made quite a pair - the suffered and the suffering.

"I'm sorry Davy. They loved you more and I wanted to be like you." Mr. Evans said through his sobs.

"Who?" Sam asked, genuinely confused.

"The lake was deep. I knew it was deep."

Sam looked at his mother for an explanation, but she only rocked Mr. Evans in her arms. He would find out the story later, right now he had more pressing matters. He went into the bedroom and got his duffel bag from underneath the bed. He then took all of his clothes out of his dresser drawers and jammed them inside. He looked around the room one last time and closed the door behind him. His parents were still in the hallway.

"Where are they?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"They're safe. I have to go."

"You can't leave without telling us."

"I'll let you know."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you won't protect them, just like you didn't protect me."

"What if I go to the police?"

"That's your choice, but it wouldn't be a smart one."

Sam walked down the stairs and out the front door without looking back. When he got to the end of the street, he made a phone call.


	21. Chapter 21

**__****CHAPTER 21**

**Summary:** Sam protects Stevie and Stacey. Sam, Mercedes and Finn take the next step in their relationship. Sam has a tumultuous confrontation with this mother.

**Rating:** Mature - Strong Sexual Content (M/M/F). Strong Language (cursing, slang terms for genitalia); Violence and death. Religious themes.

**Warning: **Please read this chapter with discretion, very heavy themes as stated above.

**Author's Note:** Sorry that I've been out of commission for a while, but with my job and other stuff going on, I found it difficult to write. Also, I put the last paragraph of chapter 20 as a recap, so that chapter 21 will make sense. Please note that the sequence of events jump around so pay attention to the italicized sentences at the beginning of certain sections to give the time frame. It might be a good idea to read/scan Chapter 8 (Sam's first session with Rosa) so that the last section (Twisted Love) makes sense. _**Thanks for reading and reviewing this story. Hope you enjoy the latest chapter! **_

* * *

_"Where are they?" Mrs. Evans asked._

_"They're safe. I have to go."_

_"You can't leave without telling us."_

_"I'll let you know."_

_"Why are you doing this?"_

_"Because you won't protect them, just like you didn't protect me."_

_"What if I go to the police?"_

_"That's your choice, but it wouldn't be a smart one."_

_Sam walked down the stairs and out the front door without looking back. When he got to the end of the street, he made a phone call._

* * *

_**RUNNING SCARED**_

_Forty minutes earlier before Sam's phone call…_

Stevie and Stacey climbed down the old, rusted fire escape outside the bathroom window. The black steel ladder was overgrown with ivy and honeysuckle, making it hard to climb down each rung. With every step they took, the ladder creaked and swayed. The night air was cool and they shivered in their thin cotton pajamas. Mosquitoes buzzed around them, biting their exposed hands and feet. Looking up into the sky, Stevie saw dark, purple clouds float across the moon, and he heard Sam shouting the Lord's Prayer, his strained voice drifting through the open window above them. And soon he and Stacey were reciting it too, whispering the words as they descended down the ladder. Once they got to the ground, he grabbed Stacey's hand and together they fled barefoot across the damp grass; their backpacks jostled as they climbed over the fence and into the neighboring back yard.

They ran through yards and climbed over more fences. Stevie heard Sam's voice in his head: "Once you get outside, don't look back just keep going." Stacey had trouble keeping up, but Stevie kept a tight grip on her hand, and pulled her along. Neither spoke. The moon seemed to follow them, guiding them along as they followed the dark path. Stacey cried out and fell to the ground, landing on the grass, taking Stevie with her.

"I cut my foot," she said.

Stevie wished they had had time to put on their shoes. He was afraid something like this would happen. He saw a part of a broken beer bottle and figured that's what did it. He took off his backpack, and urged Stacey to climb onto his back. Then he put his backpack on backwards, slipping the straps through his arms, so that it rested on his chest, like a mother carrying a newborn, and continued to run.

Stacey wasn't very heavy, but with extra weight, he couldn't go as fast. He pretended to be Superman and Stacey was a woman that he saved from a fire; the fantasy kept him pumped as they ended their journey. They stopped in front of an old 2 story white house that looked like it was once a nice place to live but now it was run-down with peeling paint and a sagging roof; a white stone birdbath filled with daisies was in the back yard. Stevie grabbed a bunch of the flowers, and handed them to Stacey over his shoulder. Flowers always made her happy and right now he needed her to stop crying; though he couldn't see her face; he felt her tears trickle onto his neck. She took the flowers and whispered thank you. A soft yellow light shined through the screen door and he heard laughter. Slowly, he walked up the rickety steps. The laughter grew louder. Somebody started singing.

_Silent night, holy night…_

He was out of breath. He stood on the porch and as he was about to knock on the door. Santana suddenly appeared.

"Stevie!"

God made angels in many forms, and in that moment, Santana was Stevie's angel, standing there with the lamplight shining around her head like a halo, her body glowed; she was clad in cut-off denim shorts and a faded black T-shirt with the word Hope written across the front. She opened the screen door, and the scent of gingerbread wafted out of the house. Stevie and Stacey threw their arms around her slender legs, crying and shaking in the aftermath of their ordeal. She leaned down and gathered them in her arms, whispering soothing words in Spanish as she lead them into the house.

**ooo**

Brittany propped Stacey's foot onto her lap and carefully dabbed the cut with cotton balls soaked in antiseptic; she was very gentle, asking Stacey every so often if it hurt. Stacey shook her head.

"It just hurts a little bit." Stacey said as she looked at the daisies Stevie gave her. Santana had put them in a mason jar filled with water and sat them in the middle of the kitchen table. It made the otherwise dreary kitchen look cheerful which wasn't easy to do with the old, wooden table and chairs, and out dated appliances. Cardboard boxes were stacked against the wall. Stevie wondered what was in them. He sat beside his sister holding her hand. Her cut wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Stacey leaned against him, and he touched her cheek.

"Sugar, are you ok?"

"I'm tired."

"Me too."

"You're a good patient," Brittany said as she put a few band-aids on Stacey's foot, "There, good as new. Don't tell Lord Tubbington that you're such a trooper; he howled like crazy when he cut his tail."

Stacey giggled and Stevie smiled. Brittany was strange, yet he liked her. She gave good hugs and always looked at you like she cared about everything you had to say. Just then the timer on the stove went off. Brittany gently pushed Stacey's foot off of her lap and rushed over to the oven.

"I almost forgot my gingerbread men!"

"Why are you making gingerbread men in the middle of summer?" Stevie asked. He always thought of them as a holiday treat.

"Because everyday should feel like Christmas," she said as she opened the oven door and pulled out a cookie sheet filled with puffed up brown men. Her answer puzzled Stevie, but it explained why she wore a short red nightgown that had a picture of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer on it, and striped knee socks that looked like peppermint sticks covered her flat feet.

A little girl with curly brown hair and almond shaped eyes wandered into the kitchen; she wore pink Disney Princess pajamas. Brittany picked her up.

"Maria, what are you doing awake? Santana is gonna get you," she teased and tickled her stomach.

Stevie saw kids with eyes like Maria's at school and they were put in a special class. The girl stared at him.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Stevie and this is my sister Stacey."

"My name is Maria."

Brittany put her down.

"I didn't know you guys never met."

Santana came into the kitchen. She spotted Maria hovering behind Brittany.

"Maria Juanita Lopez. Upstairs right now. You know the rules."

Maria clung to Brittany's leg.

"I want a gingerbread man."

Santana put her hands on her hips.

"Young lady, you know it's past your bed time," she pointed to the stairs, "Now back to bed you go, chica."

Maria let out a heavy sigh and knew it was no use fighting Aunt Santana.

"Goodnight everybody," she said. Brittany bent down and gave her a kiss, "Don't worry, we'll save a gingerbread man for you."

"Save me two."

Brittany laughed.

"Ok, two."

Even though she was mad at her Aunt Santana for spoiling her fun, she hugged her before going back upstairs to her room. Once she was gone, Santana walked over to Brittany and kissed her. Stevie looked away. It was like the day he and Stacey caught Sam, Mercedes and Finn making out in the flower garden; it made him uncomfortable like catching someone stealing. Brittany pulled away first and started putting the gingerbread men on the cooling rack.

"Those look good," Santana said and looked over at Stevie and Stacey who were watching the two girls with curious eyes, "I called Finn and he's coming to get you."

"Is Sammy alright?" Stacey asked.

Santana sat down beside her and put her arm around her.

"I couldn't reach him, but I'm sure he's fine."

"Daddy was really mad," Stacey said, staring down at the floor, he might hurt him."

She pulled Stacey closer to her side and put her arm around Stevie.

"Sam is a tough, brave guy. I know he's gonna be alright. Don't ask me how I just do."

Brittany sat down to the table, nodding her head.

"Santana is right. Sam is fine."

Stevie hoped they were right. Sam prayed that he and Stacey would get away from that house and they did; Stevie prayed that Sam escaped too. He held onto to hope and faith as much as he could.

**ooo**

_Ten minutes before Santana's call to Finn and Mercedes…_

Mercedes and Finn were cuddled up on the bed in his room; their naked bodies warm and satiated from their lovemaking. They had the house to themselves. Kurt and Blaine were out on a date, and Burt and Carol were in Columbus for a funeral of on old family friend and they wouldn't be back for a few days. Finn had come into the room to check on her and somehow his hand ended up under her nightgown brushing against her swollen nipples and that's all it took.

They shed their clothes and soon Finn was thrusting himself inside her, loving her in his gentle giant way, his hard cock stretching her tight walls, filling her with intense pleasure. Mercedes knew they broke "house rules" but she gave into her needs and so did Finn, after all, they loved and desired each other, what could one expect to happen in an empty house?

Now they held each other, and listened to Adele while they waited for their lasagna to finish heating up. Carol had made meals ahead of time for them, and they just had to put them in the oven. Mercedes knew that Carol was afraid that Finn might try to cook since she wasn't feeling well most days. Finn kissed her stomach and then kissed her lips.

"I love you, Mercy."

Sitting up a little, she smiled and returned the kiss.

"I love you too."

She sighed in contentment as Finn rubbed circles on her bare belly. She was starting to show and the changes in her body both thrilled and frightened her. Her breasts felt heavier and sometimes they were tender and sore, and she was going to the bathroom all the time, which was annoying since it kept her up half the night, but things could be worse, so she never complained. Finn wrapped his big, muscular arms around her and held her against his chest. She listened to his heartbeat and was drifting off to sleep when his phone vibrated on the dresser. He grabbed his phone, glancing at it, he said:

"It's Santana."

Mercedes' heart clenched.

"You don't think – "

"Only one way to find out."

Finn answered the phone.

"Hey Santana."

When Mercedes heard Finn say the word Spiderman, she knew things got bad at the Evans house. She reached for his hand and held it and he squeezed hers in response. After a few minutes, he hung up. He turned to Mercedes.

"Sam's father is such an asshole… Shit!"

"What happened?"

"He tried to beat Stevie. Things got ugly. I hope that jerk rots in hell; how can he hurt his own flesh and blood?"

He hopped off the bed and began putting on his jeans.

"I have to go get them. They're at Santana's."

Mercedes nodded and rose from the bed as well.

"I'm going with you."

"No, angel, you stay here. I don't think you're up for it."

"I wasn't asking for permission. Besides, if I stay here alone, I'll only worry and that kind of stress isn't good when you're pregnant."

Mercedes knew it was lame to play the pregnancy card, but she didn't care. Stevie and Stacey needed her as much as they needed Finn.

"Ok."

After they got dressed and took the lasagna out of the oven, they left Kurt a note and went to pick up the children. Finn stayed silent as he drove to Santana's house and Mercedes was tense, she kept playing with her birthday locket and tapping her foot against the floor. Never in a million years did she think this would happen - mainly because Mr. Evan's wrath was only directed at poor Sam, but now that changed as Sam predicted.

A few weeks earlier, Sam told Finn and Mercedes about the Spiderman Rule. If Sam ever whispered Spiderman to Stevie and Stacey, they were supposed to sneak out of the house using the fire escape outside the bathroom window and go to Santana's house. It was his way of getting his siblings out of danger. Santana and her brother moved out of Lima Heights when he got a good deal on an old fixer-upper house in Sam's neighborhood; they had only been living there for a few weeks. Once the kids got to her house, she would call Finn and Mercedes who would take them to a secret safe place. Sam got the idea because things were getting worse with his father - especially since Aunt Patty went back to Philadelphia. He decided the safest place to take them would be an empty apartment above Chang's Deli. Mr. Chang owned the three apartments in the building and this was the only one that wasn't rented out. He thought going to the Hudson-Hummel house was too risky.

Mr. Chang knew that Sam's home life wasn't good and he offered to let him stay there on more than one occasion, giving him a key. If Santana wasn't home, Stevie and Stacey would call Finn and Mercedes and wait for them at her house anyway because they knew where she kept her spare key under the flowerpot. Sam didn't want to involve the police because he hated the idea of them being separated and he could never tell what Child Protective Services would do.

At a stoplight, Finn reached over and squeezed Mercedes' shoulder.

"You holding up ok?"

"I don't know."

"Sam said this might happen."

Mercedes took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I know. I just… I don't know."

The light turned green and Finn kept driving down the street. Mercedes leaned her head against the window, closing her eyes, she saw Stevie and Stacey's faces in her mind, with their tanned skin and sweet smiles, open to everything life gave them until now.

"They lost their innocence. I thought they would keep a little bit of it, but now it's really gone."

"You don't know that for sure. It's not like they haven't seen bad stuff."

"I know but there was something in them that made me believe they had some naïveté left."

Mercedes couldn't explain how she felt. It was like watching a puppet show and thinking everything was real and then seeing the puppeteer behind the stage, wielding the strings, controlling all the characters. The magic was lost, and you simply stopped believing.

"Stacey still thinks that Maggie talks to her and Stevie thinks he can fly to the moon in a cardboard box," Finn said, "Don't worry, they may have seen and experienced terrible things, but they have something pure inside."

Mercedes glanced at Finn's profile and nodded her head.

"Baby, I hope you're right."

**ooo**

_After Sam left the house and is about to make his first phone call…_

Sam's hand shook as he listened to the phone ring. Santana wasn't picking up. _Where was she? He saw that she called… he hoped everything was alright._ The air grew chilly and he shivered. His chest felt like he had run a marathon and his heart pounded. On instinct, he called Finn, who answered after the first ring.

"Sam, they're ok. We got them."

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but instead he began to cry. He kept walking as Finn's voice reached him through the phone.

"Are you there? I know this is a lot to deal with but you did good. You protected them."

Sam nodded, but was unable to respond. He clutched the phone as Finn continued talking to him.

"Babe, we love you. We got this far, haven't we?"

A moment later Mercedes was on the line.

"Sam, sweetheart, we're right beside you. We love you so much."

"Cedes…"

"Yes?"

"I don't know I feel…"

Sam wasn't sure if what he was feeling was relief or sorrow. His emotions consumed him.

"You need to center yourself. Close your eyes and focus," she said.

Then Sam realized he was having a panic attack. He began to shake and almost dropped the phone. Mercedes' voice stayed calm.

"Breathe with me, Sam. Come on, baby. Take a deep breath with me and then breathe out."

Sam breathed in and out slowly.

"That's it. We believe in you. We're so proud of you. Now again."

He took another deep breath and breathed out with Mercedes' encouraging him. They did this for a few minutes until his heart stopped racing.

"Let me speak to them."

Suddenly Stevie was on the phone.

"We did the Spiderman rule."

Sam smiled a little.

"Good job, Stevie. Where's Stacey?"

"She's in the bathroom."

"I love you and tell Stacey I love her too."

"I love you too, Sam."

"Put Cedes back on."

A few moments later, Mercedes returned.

"How do you feel now?"

Sam closed his eyes and leaned back against the bench.

"Much better, thanks."

"We're coming to get you."

"No! I'll be there soon, I promise."

"But Sam – "

"No, buts, Mercedes. Do you understand me? Too much is at stake."

"At least let Finn come."

"Baby, listen to me. I'm coming to you. I'm not arguing with you about this."

Sam knew his dominance was a bit much, but he couldn't help it. He had to do what was best for everyone. Mercedes didn't say anything at first. Then she sighed.

"I get it. Be careful."

"I will. I love you and give my love to Finn too."

"I love you too. See you soon."

After that his cell phone died. Sam wanted to get as far away as possible from his neighborhood, so he decided to go to the Route 40 Quick Mart about a mile away since it was the only place that he knew that had a pay phone. He could've gone to Santana's, but he wanted to keep going and her brother had the car. When he finally got to the Quick Mart, he was thirsty and tired. He pushed open the heavy glass door and went inside the store. Mr. Taylor, the owner, was sitting behind the register greeted Sam with a nod. Stacey always said Mr. Taylor looked like Santa Claus because of his snow-white beard and big belly.

"Hey there, Sam."

"Hi, Mr. Taylor."

Mr. Taylor adjusted his glasses and stared at Sam, his blue eyes narrowed a bit.

"You alright?"

Sam feigned a smile.

"Oh, I'm good. Just a little thirsty."

"Well we got a two for one sale on drinks, help yourself."

Sam went to the back of the store and grabbed two bottles of water from the glass fridge, as he walked back to the cash register, Karofsky came into the store looking more menacing than usual wearing a blue wife beater and black jeans, his hair looked darker as if he had dyed it, and when he saw Sam, he grinned at him.

"You look like shit, Evans."

Sam set the bottles of water on the counter.

"Same could be said for you."

Mr. Taylor began to ring up Sam's purchase.

"Now, what's this? No Cool Ranch Doritos?"

Sam didn't want to admit he didn't have the extra money to spend, so he said:

"I'm trying to cut back."

"Cut back? Boy, you're skin and bones!"

Karofsky leaned against the counter.

"That big heifer he has for a girlfriend, probably eats all his food, even though she could stand to skip a few meals."

Sam wanted to beat the hell out of Karofsky, but he controlled himself.

"You're jealous. You only wish somebody loved you the way she loves me."

"Is that what you think?"

Mr. Taylor put the bottles of water into a plastic bag.

"Listen, Karofsky, I don't want any trouble in my store and I don't like that kind of talk. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a fuller figure. I've seen his lady friend and she's quite lovely." He then left the cash register and came back with super size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and handed it to Sam.

"It's on the house."

"Thanks, Mr. Taylor."

"No problem."

Karofsky grabbed a few packs of Big League Chew and threw them on the counter.

"Hey, could you give me a box of Marlboros?"

Mr. Taylor shook his head.

"You're underage."

"They're for my Dad."

"Then he can come buy them"

"He's not feeling well."

"All the more reason not to smoke."

Karofsky sucked his teeth, paid for the gum, and walked out in a huff. Sam waved good-bye to Mr. Taylor and left. Once he was outside in the parking lot, he saw Karofsky standing there next to the pay phone. Sam clenched his fists.

"Did you need something?"

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Old Man Taylor, but I heard about that freaky threesome you and Hudson got going on with that wide load whale, didn't think you were into that sort of thing."

"I'm not ashamed of my relationship with them. And if you know what's good for you, you would stop calling my girlfriend names."

Karosky tore open his foil package of gum and put a handful of the pink shreds into his mouth.

"So do you and Hudson –"

"I know what you're asking and the answer is yes."

The smirk on Karofsky's face faded.

"You're one of those, huh?"

"Yeah and so are you."

Sam stood there facing him, unafraid of what would happen next, because after all, like Finn said, they had come this far. Karofsky had no courage or any other redeeming qualities.

"I don't know what you're talking about Evans."

"I think you do."

"I'm not like you."

"Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll start to believe it."

Karofsky stepped closer to him and whispered in his ear.

"I could kill you and they would never find the body."

Sam closed his eyes. How many times had people tried to break him? He smiled.

"Maybe so, but even when I'm six feet under, you'll still be like me. Difference is, I'm not hiding. I'm proud of who I love. You could be too, nobody is stopping you."

Karofsky backed away from him.

"I always knew you had shit for brains. Everybody knows I love Alison."

Alison was a redheaded, buxom cheerleader who went to East River High, a rival school across town. She made Brittany look like a Harvard scholar. Karofsky took her to the prom and all the guys drooled over her stacked proportions whenever she leaned over the punch bowl to refill her cup.

"We both know I'm not talking about Alison."

Karofsky lost his cool and shoved Sam in the arm. Sam to dropped his duffel bag and stood up straighter, staring directly into the his eyes, refusing to back down. Just then Mr. Taylor walked out of the store waving a baseball bat.

"I warned you that I didn't want any trouble. You got three seconds to get on that piece of junk motorcycle and go home or I'm calling the cops!"

"Fine, just calm down!" He turned to Sam, "Don't think this is over."

Sam shrugged.

"It ends when it ends."

Karofsky hopped on his bike, started the engine and drove off, spitting a wad of gum onto the pavement.

Mr. Taylor gripped Sam's shoulder.

"You ok son?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Did you need anything?"

"I need to make a phone call - my battery died."

Mr. Taylor reached into his pocket and handed him his cell phone.

"Here, use mine, take as much time as you need. I better get back inside the store.

"Thank you."

Mr. Taylor gave his shoulder another squeeze before he left him alone to make the call.

**ooo**

Sam said a quick prayer and called Dylan. It rang for a while and Sam grew worried but then, Dylan answered.

"Hello."

"Hey Dylan, it's me, Sam. We did it."

"Do you mean -?"

"Yeah, I got them out of there."

"Wow. Where are you now?"

"I'm at the Route 40 Quick Mart. Can you come get me?"

"No problem, I'm on my way. You did good, man."

"Thanks."

Sam was about to tell Dylan that he loved him like a brother, then decided that was probably not a good idea. Dylan wasn't one for mushy scenes, and Sam couldn't blame him for simply being who he was. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall when suddenly he heard a raspy female voice:

"Hey, there, are you Cain Evans' boy?"

Sam opened his eyes and found a young girl standing before him. She looked about 17, a cigarette dangled from her thin lips. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she wore a white mini skirt that showed off her long, skinny legs and a tight green tank top that fit snugly against her small, perky breasts, revealing the outline of her hard nipples. Her face was devoid of make up and her blue eyes were bloodshot. Sam regarded her with curiosity rather than lust.

"Yes I am. Who are you?"

She took a drag from her cigarette.

"I'm a friend. The name's Lena."

Sam raised his eyebrows.

"You're friends with my Dad? How old are you?"

"I'm 20. How old did you think?"

"I thought you were younger."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Anyway, I'm looking for him. Tell him you saw me. He won't answer my calls and he's never home."

"What do you want from him?"

She frowned.

"None of your business." She dropped the cigarette on the pavement and ground it out with her pink glitter flip-flop. " Don't forget my message to your Dad."

"I won't," Sam said as he opened the door for her. Lena nodded.

"Good. I'll see you around."

**ooo**

Mercedes held Stacey on her lap as Stacey told her what happened to Maggie.

"Daddy just threw her against the wall. Do I have to bury her? We can fix her. Sammy said we could fix her."

Mercedes looked at the pieces of the doll that Stacey clutched in her hands. She wasn't quite sure what to do -the doll was destroyed.

"We can try."

"Is this our new home?"

"I don't know."

Stacey laid her head on Mercedes shoulder.

"Mommy will miss us. Daddy doesn't love us anymore."

Mercedes kissed the top of her head.

"Sometimes people don't know how to show love."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Mommy cries when she thinks nobody is looking."

"Sugar, why don't you close your eyes. Rest your eyes for me, ok? Then when Finn and Stevie get back, we can eat."

Stacey closed her eyes and yawned.

"Ok, Mercy. When will Sammy get here?"

"Real soon."

"I was scared when I was running."

"I know, baby, and now you're safe."

They were sitting on the couch in the living room. When they first got there, the furniture was covered with sheets and the air smelled like inside of an old trunk. Mercedes and Finn tried to make the place feel cozy and removed the sheets and opened the windows to let in the night air. It was a large apartment with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Mercedes found some vanilla scented candles in the kitchen and she lit them all, placing them on the coffee table. There was no television, just an old clock radio that Stevie fiddled with until he found an AM station that played polka music. The sound of accordions hurt Mercedes' ears and she told Stevie to turn it off, he pouted but did as she asked, and then he and Finn went downstairs to the deli to get food for everyone. She hugged Stacey close to her heart and rocked her gently, humming a song. Mercedes stroked Stacey's head and continued singing. This little girl had her heart and so did her brother, but she worried what would happen next. They couldn't hide them forever. The front door opened and she jumped a little.

"Finn, baby is that you?"

"Yes it's us. Don't worry."

Mercedes sighed in relief. She gently pushed Stacey onto the couch and covered her with a quilt and then she went to the door where Finn and Stevie were holding brown paper bags filled with sandwiches and chips. She took the bags from their arms and kissed them each on the cheek.

"Be quiet, Sugar is asleep."

"I'm not sleepy at all," Stevie said pushing past her to go into the kitchen, "I'm hungry."

Finn hugged Mercedes.

"Angel, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared. What are we doing? What if his father comes after us?"

"We'll be ok. I don't know how I know this I just do."

Just then front door opened again and it was Sam. Mercedes dropped the bags on the floor and threw herself into his arms.

"My God, I was worried sick. What took you so long?"

"Baby, I had a few run-ins, but I'm here now and everything is alright."

Finn wrapped his arms around both of them, and the trio clung to each other, exchanging kisses until Stevie returned from the kitchen. Upon seeing Sam, he immediately rushed to him.

"You made it!"

"Of course I did, Stevie," Sam said as he gave him a hug.

"Stacey is asleep. I don't want to go to sleep."

"Why?"

Stevie shrugged his shoulders unable to answer.

"I don't know."

Mercedes picked up the bags from off the floor.

"Come on, let's all go into the kitchen."

They sat around the kitchen table eating cold cut sandwiches and talking about what happened that night.

"I don't feel safe," Mercedes said as she cut Stevie's ham sandwich into four pieces, "We rushed into this."

Sam leaned over and kissed her temple.

"I'll protect you. I know this whole thing is beyond crazy but I did what I had to do."

Finn opened a can of soda and poured it into a paper cup.

"In the meantime, we need to get the kids some clothes, they could only bring so much in their back packs."

Mercedes nodded.

"Finn's right, and Sam, what about your mother? I know she's worried."

"She's too busy taking care of our father. I can handle this, don't worry, and I'm getting custody. I read this story about a 18 year old girl who did that for her siblings so they wouldn't be separated and I'm doing the same thing."

"That's a lot to take on," Mercedes said, "and what about when the twins come?"

Stevie took a bite of his sandwich.

"What twins?"

Mercedes bit her lip and stared down at the floor. Stevie and Stacey were not supposed to know she was pregnant.

"We may as well tell him," Sam said.

Mercedes reached for Stevie's hand and held it.

"Remember how you learned in school about how babies are made? And how grown-ups who really love each make a baby?"

Stevie looked at her with a solemn expression.

"Yes. So you, my brother and Finn made twins?"

"That's right."

"I thought that could only happen with two people."

Finn patted Stevie on the head.

"That's the way it usually is, but we all love each other so we're all going to be parents."

Stevie sighed and took a sip of his soda.

"I think I get it. But how do you know its twins?"

"We just know," Finn said.

"That doesn't make sense."

Finn laughed.

"The best way I can explain it is that sometimes I feel things inside me or I dream them. I don't know where it comes from but it's always the truth."

Stevie tilted his head and looked up at him.

"Do you only dream good things?"

"Most of the time."

"Oh, well tell me if you dream something good for me."

Finn ruffled his hair.

"No problem."

They finished eating their sandwiches in silence; the situation weighed heavily on Mercedes' shoulders. After they threw away their trash and put the leftovers in the fridge, Mercedes thought it was time for Stevie to go to bed.

"Stevie, go brush your teeth, and then you can go to bed."

"I told you I didn't want to go to sleep!"

"Steven Edward, watch your tone, you know better than to talk to Mercedes like that," Sam said.

Stevie stood up and stamped his foot against the yellow tiled floor.

"I don't care, she's not my mother!"

"Stevie!"

"My mother doesn't want me. She let us run away… We fell when we were runnin' and I thought Daddy would catch us and beat all the bad stuff out like he said…"

Stevie's anger slowly turned into despair; he fell to the floor and cried.

"She doesn't want us. She left us behind, said she was coming back, and I didn't see her again for a long time. I thought Mommy loved us. Why don't she come after us? I want to go home…"

Mercedes wasn't surprised at the outburst, in a way, she had been half-expecting it. This was too much for an 8 year-old boy to process. Before Sam could play the role of savior once again, Mercedes crouched down and picked up Stevie, who wrapped his arms around her and cried into her neck.

"I'm scared Mercy."

"I know you are, pumpkin, we all are."

"Do I always have to be strong?"

"No, and there's nothing wrong with crying. All creatures cry."

Stevie pulled away from her.

"Even roaches?"

Mercedes chuckled as she stroked his head.

"Well, Stevie, I can't say I've ever seen a roach cry, but you never know."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sam nodding at her in approval. He and Finn rose from the table and wrapped their arms around Mercedes and Stevie.

"Stevie, Mom loves us all, it's just that everything is really complicated."

"You won't ever leave us, will you, Sam?" Stevie asked, looking up at his big brother.

"No, you got my word. I'll always take care of you and Stacey."

Mercedes kissed Stevie on the nose.

"You need your rest."

Stevie hid his face in her neck.

"I'm scared I'll have nightmares."

"Would it help if you slept in the bed with us?"

"Could I really?"

"Yeah, I think we'll all fit."

They went into the living room and Sam picked up Stacey from off the couch and carried her into the master bedroom where a king sized bed covered with a beautiful white lace comforter awaited them. Stacey only woke up for a few seconds when Sam put her in the bed, but then she was fast asleep again. The trio quickly changed into their pajamas while Stevie was in the bathroom. While they had those few, precious moments to themselves, Sam pulled them into a tight embrace and kissed them passionately.

"Thank you so much for helping me. I could never have the courage and strength to go through with it if I didn't have your love."

"Babe, we'll always stand by you. Remember, Stevie and Stacey are our family too," Finn said, as he ran his hands through Sam's long hair, causing his boyfriend to moan.

"Be careful," Mercedes said, "We have a potential underage audience."

Finn smiled at her, holding her close and kissing her neck.

"You know it's hard when you have a beautiful woman with a figure to die for and a hot guy in your arms and not want to take advantage of them. I wish we could sleep naked the way we always do."

"I know but a little self control goes a long way."

"I'm trying, angel, I'm trying."

Stevie came into the room, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"I'm ready."

Mercedes helped him into the bed and he snuggled up next to Stacey. Then Mercedes got in and wrapped her arm around him. They decided that Sam would sleep on the right side with Mercedes; and Finn would sleep on the left side with Stacey because he needed more room. Sam switched off the lamp on the nightstand. Stevie fidgeted next to Mercedes.

"Mercy, I don't want to close my eyes. I see bad things when I do."

"Would you like us to sing?"

"Won't that wake up Stacey?"

Then Mercedes heard a little voice say:

"It's too late now. I'm already awake"

Stacey's innocent declaration sent everyone into a fit of laughter.

"Sugar, we're going to sing to help your brother go to sleep." Mercedes said.

Sam rested his hand on Mercedes' belly and squeezed her tight.

"I know the song we should sing. It will do us all some good."

Finn cleared his throat.

"I hope I know the words."

"Babe, you will," Sam said reassuring him, "Ok, everybody just follow my lead:

_When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;_

_When troubles come and my heart burdened be;_

_Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,_

_Until you come and sit awhile with me._

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;_

_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;_

_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;_

_You raise me up... To more than I can be._

Mercedes' eyes welled up with tears as she sang along with everyone. She forgot how much she loved that song. And Stevie, bless his heart, was still as tone deaf as ever, but that did not detract from the beauty of the song or its uplifting lyrics. Her body trembled and Sam kissed her shoulders and neck, and she relaxed in his strong arms. Then she felt Finn reach across Stevie and Stacey and stroke her tear stained cheeks, it was such a kind, gentle, gesture; and Mercedes fell in love with her boyfriends all over again. She kissed the tops of Stevie's and Stacey's heads once the song was over.

"You're my family, and I love you," Mercedes said.

Stevie gazed up at her.

"I'm sorry for what I said in the kitchen. That was mean."

"You were hurting it's ok."

"I love you, Mercy."

Mercedes hugged him.

"I love you too, pumpkin."

After everyone was asleep, Mercedes stayed awake awhile longer, feeling the love in the room and being grateful for it.

* * *

_**WE ARE FAMILY**_

Finn woke up with Stacey hugging his chest; she smelled like baby powder and the scent tickled his nose. Stevie was nestled between Stacey and Mercedes, his arms wrapped around his sister. Mercedes held Stevie in a protective embrace as if she were afraid someone would come take him in the middle of the night. Her mouth was slightly open and her plump lips enticed Finn, her skin was so beautiful, with all those lovely, dark shades of brown mixed together creating one unique shade that was distinctly Mercy, he often caught himself admiring her skin, he liked it even better when she tanned in the summer time and it became deep and rich like the earth.

Mercedes told him that her Grandmother Baptiste made her stay out of the sun when she was a little girl because she didn't want her to get any darker than she already was. She then explained to a very confused Finn about colorism, and he couldn't understand it. What made one shade more desirable than another? In his opinion, lighter wasn't better, just different. Everything about his Mercy was special: from her round, soft, body to her kinky hair, and a gleaming white smile that warmed his heart everyday; he and Sam were damn lucky to have her.

Then he realized that Sam was missing except for a few strands of blonde hair on his pillow. For a second, Finn panicked but then he heard his boyfriend in the kitchen, singing along to the radio and the familiar aroma of pancakes filled his nostrils. As quietly as he could, he disengaged himself from Stacey's tiny arms and slowly got out of bed. He put on his robe, kissed Mercedes on the lips, and crept out of the room, closing the door behind him.

When Finn entered the kitchen, Sam was at the stove, flipping pancakes, as the sunshine poured in from the window, shining down on his shirtless torso; he was still quite thin, but he was beginning to look more like the old Sam, even though his ripped six pack had somewhat faded. His green plaid pajama bottoms hung low on his slender hips and his hair was swept back in a ponytail. Sam looked over his shoulder and saw Finn standing there gazing at him.

"Morning, love," Sam said with a smile, "I hope I didn't wake you."

Finn walked over to him and hugged him from behind, kissing his cheek.

"It was time for me to get up anyway. Breakfast smells good."

"I thought it would cheer the kids up."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, everything is almost done. Keep me company until everyone wakes up."

Finn sat down at the table.

"I'm worried about Mercy."

Sam slipped another golden pancake on top of the stack next to him and turned down the radio.

"Why? Is she feeling sick again?"

"No, but Sam, we can't have her stressed about Stevie and Stacey, she needs to stay relaxed."

"I know and I promise that I won't burden her. We'll get her to focus on staying healthy. And the doctor says she's doing great."

"But you know, how our girl is. She loves Stevie and Stacey as much as you do. She's not going to sit on the sidelines."

Sam poured more batter onto the smoking hot griddle.

"Between the two of us, we're going to ease her mind. I want her and our babies to be ok."

"Same here. So I was thinking, maybe it's best to send them to Philadelphia to live with Aunt Patty."

"No, I want them here with us."

"I understand, but do you think we can handle your brother and sister and our kids on the way? Think about it. How could we make ends meet? I promised Mr. Jones that we would take care of Mercy; I'm not about to break that promise."

Sam kept his eyes fixed on the griddle and didn't say anything. His mouth was down turned in a slight frown.

"Sam?"

"We won't break that promise. I know a way that I can make extra money if we need it. Besides, Mr. Chang isn't charging anything to stay here, and he said I was such a good employee that he would give me more hours after graduation."

"I don't feel right living here for nothing. My parents will understand about what you did, but I don't know if they will agree to me living here."

"Well, we can't stay with them, there isn't enough room for my brother and sister too."

Finn closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"We didn't think this through."

Sam turned away from the stove and faced him.

"When I told you and Cedes about my plan you both thought it was a good idea."

"Babe, I'm not blaming you. Come here." Finn opened his arms. Sam turned off the stove and went to Finn, sitting on his lap. Finn put his arms around him and kissed his shoulder. "I love you, Mercy, Stacey and Stevie, but with everything going on with the pregnancy, school, our future, and needing money, I just don't see how this will work."

Sam leaned into Finn and let his guard down.

"Finn, you weren't there. He turned on them the moment he saw weakness, like a shark following a trail of blood. I don't want them to go through what I did. I had to get them out of there. You know my mother is useless. I had a feeling this day would come which is why I came up with a plan for when it did, not even Aunt Patty thought he would harm them, but something in my gut told me different… I don't know. They need me. I gave Stevie my word that I would never leave them. I can't abandon them."

Finn held Sam tightly against his chest.

"I'm not saying we should abandon them, but the best thing would be to send them to live with Aunt Patty. You trust her and Uncle Leroy, right?"

"Of course I do, it's not that. I've always been there for Stevie and Stacey and I don't know if they could handle being away from me. I want them with me."

"Mercy needs our full support, and we can't give it if we have to raise them too. Your Aunt Patty could give them the attention they need."

Sam pushed him away.

"I thought you said you loved them and they were your family."

"They are my family and that's why I want to do what's best for them; we don't have the money to care for them. Hell, we don't have the money to even support ourselves. It wouldn't be fair to them and I don't want to them to suffer."

"They would suffer if they were sent to live in a strange city away from the only family they have."

"Sam, please – "

"No! Just because you're having doubts doesn't mean I have to. We're all staying together. I'll do whatever it takes."

"And what about your mother?"

"What about her?"

Finn sighed.

"There's no telling what she's going to do."

"You don't know her like I do."

"What do you mean?"

"She knows she's not the best mother. Have you noticed she hasn't called and – "

Before Sam could finish, Mercedes, Stevie, and Stacey walked into the kitchen. Sam got up from Finn's lap and gave them each a good morning kiss on the cheek.

"I made breakfast."

"Yes, we smelled it from the bedroom, I'm starving," Mercedes said as Sam guided her to the table and pulled out her chair.

"Have no fear, my lady," Sam said in a bad Cockney accent, "We shall now feast on my awesome pancakes with brown sugar syrup."

Mercedes patted his arm and looked at Finn.

"Are you two ok? I thought I heard you fighting."

"Angel, everything is fine," Finn said, glancing at Sam, silently pleading with him not to say anything. "You just sit back and relax and let us serve you."

Mercedes smiled.

"Sounds good to me."

Despite the argument they had, breakfast was noisy and cheerful, with the kids chatting about everything and stuffing their mouths full of pancakes. Finn was pleased that Mercedes was able to eat two pancakes and drink a glass of orange juice; it worried him that she hadn't been eating much, though she still suffered from fatigue.

"I hope you guys don't mind, but I need to lie down again for awhile."

Sam grabbed her hand.

"Sweetheart, why would we mind? Go back to bed. We have everything covered."

Stevie looked worried.

"Are you going to have to go to the hospital like Stacey?"

Mercedes kissed his forehead.

"Sometimes pregnant women get tired. Don't worry I'm not sick, this is normal, ok?"

"I don't like it when people go to the hospital."

"I know and I'm fine. In fact when I wake up, we can play checkers."

This cheered Stevie up a little, but it didn't eliminate his fears, he scooted closer to Mercedes and laid his head against her arm.

"Just in case you need somebody, I'll stay in the bedroom with you; I can color or read my new Spy Kid novel; I'll be really quiet, I promise."

Finn felt sorry for Stevie and he understood his fears, with everything he was dealing with, but he also knew it was important for Mercedes to get as much rest as possible.

"Stevie, we can play games in the living room while Mercy is asleep. She really needs her rest to stay healthy."

"And you promised to help me put Maggie back together," Stacey said as she rose from the table and began gathering the empty glasses.

Mercedes hugged Stevie to her side.

"I'll tell you what. I'll leave the bedroom door open in case you want to check on me, how's that?"

Stevie smiled and hugged her.

"Ok, that's good. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Sam reached for his brother's hand.

"Stevie, I know things are crazy right now, but you need to have faith that everything will work out."

"That's what our pastor used to say. We haven't been to church in a long time."

Everyone at the table grew silent. Stacey continued to gather the dishes and take them to the sink. Finn admired her for helping to clean up. Then he got an idea.

"Let's all go to church. I know it's too late for the morning service, but I'm sure there's another one in the evening. To be safe, we could go to an East River church – what do you guys think?"

"I want to go," Stacey said as she turned on the faucet to start washing the dishes. Sam joined her at the sink.

"Sugar, I'll wash, and you dry, and Stevie, you can put away the dishes."

Stevie got up from the table and the three began an assembly line of washing the dishes. Mercedes went to the window and opened it, filling the small yellow kitchen, with fresh morning air.

"I think that's a good idea, what do you say, Sam?"

Sam didn't respond at first. He simply squirted some detergent into the wash basin.

"Baby?"

"I don't want to go," he said quietly.

Finn and Mercedes looked at each other, neither one knowing what to say.

"It might do you some good, Sam," Mercedes said, "But we don't have to go if you don't want to."

Sam kept his back turned and continued handing Stacey the dishes to dry. The only sounds in the kitchen were the clinking of the dishes being plunged into the soapy water and Stevie opening and closing the cabinet doors, putting them away.

Mercedes yawned and stretched her arms.

"Well, I'm going back to bed. I'll see you guys later." As she was about to walk out of the kitchen, Sam went to her, wrapping her in his arms.

"I love you."

She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I love you too, baby."

Then she kissed Finn and left to take a nap. Finn helped Stevie put the clean dishes away. After the dishes were done, the kids went to wash up and get dressed. Sam drained the sink and wiped down the counters. Finn hated the awkward silence between them so he said:

"I'm sorry if you think I'm not standing by you."

Sam remained quiet as he finished tidying up the kitchen. Finn watched him, wondering how to convince him to open up.

"Please Babe, we always said in this relationship we would never hold back."

"I have to keep us together," Sam said as he put the leftover pancakes in the fridge, "I need to protect them and show them I'm not going anywhere. You see how Stevie is now, he can't even let Cedes take a nap."

Finn nodded.

"I hear what you're saying. The summer isn't over yet, what if we eased them into the idea of living with Aunt Patty?"

"I don't want to ease them into anything."

"Then tell me how we're going to do this."

"What's wrong with living here? There's plenty of room. Both of us have jobs and we don't need to pay rent."

"Sam, will you just –"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." He folded his arms and turned away from Finn, facing the wall.

Sam's coldness hurt Finn's heart, but he reached out to him anyway. He put his arms around Sam's waist and kissed the side of his neck.

"No matter what you think, I love Stevie and Stacey too, and I want what's best for them," he turned Sam around and lifted his chin, though Sam averted his eyes, "And you know I love you and Mercy so much it scares me and I love our children. I would never do anything to hurt you. Please remember that."

He released Sam from his embrace and left him alone in the kitchen.

* * *

_**LISTEN TO REASON**_

Mercedes lay in the bed staring at the walls. She couldn't sleep and she only dozed for a little while. The previous tenants had hung prisms in the window, and when the sun shined through the sparkling oval crystals, the walls were covered with a multitude of rainbows, reminding her of the magical places she escaped to when she was a little girl. But now she was almost a woman, and there was no invisible princess to comfort her; she knew Finn and Sam were fighting and she wanted to get to the bottom of it, but she was so exhausted that it was like she was held prisoner in the bed; she closed her eyes and tried to relax. The situation with Stevie and Stacey worried her. When she opened her eyes again, she saw Sam standing in the doorway.

"Just checking on you Cedes."

"You're worse than Stevie."

"Can I get you anything?"

Mercedes sat up in the bed.

"As a matter of fact, you can. Go get Finn. All of us need to talk."

Sam hesitated, running his hands through his hair.

"Like, right now?"

"Yes, like right now."

"Ok."

A few minutes later, he returned with a sullen looking Finn.

"Close the door, I don't want the kids to hear," Mercedes said.

Sam shut the door and he and Finn sat on opposite sides of the bed, avoiding each other's eyes.

Mercedes held their hands and sighed.

"I want to know what you two are fighting about."

"Baby, we don't want you to get upset," Sam said as he kissed her shoulder.

"It's too late for that, so what's the problem?"

Finn leaned back against the pillows and looked at her.

"I don't think we should keep Stevie and Stacey here. We don't have the money especially with you being pregnant and everything. I want us to send them to live with Aunt Patty."

"I see."

Sam started to get up from the bed and leave.

"I can't do this right now."

Mercedes grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down.

"You're not running away from us."

"Cedes –"

"No, Sam, you don't get to walk out of here. You've never been a quitter before so don't start now."

He sat back down next to her.

"We've been through so much together. I don't understand why Finn wants to take the easy way out."

"Damn it," Finn said shaking his head, "It's not the easy way out. I love Stevie and Stacey and I want them here with us, but we can't take care of them, how could we?"

Mercedes squeezed her boyfriends' hands.

"I hate that you two left me out of all this but I get where Finn is coming from and – "

Sam interrupted her.

"So now you two are against me!"

"How can you say that?"

"Because you're agreeing with him."

"That doesn't mean we're against you. You didn't even let me finish what I was going to say."

Sam looked down, suddenly ashamed.

"Sorry."

"What I was trying to say is, when Mr. Chang said you could use the apartment if things got too bad at home, did he know all of us were part of the package? I think he only meant you could stay here for free and not your entire family."

"He'll understand once I explain everything."

Mercedes turned his head so that she could look into his eyes.

"Does he know about me and Finn?"

Sam nodded.

"Believe it or not he does. It's a long story."

Mercedes wasn't in the mood for long stories, so she didn't ask for any details, instead she said:

"Let's be realistic. There may be up to 7 people living here once the babies come; do you think he would let all of us stay here, rent free?"

"We'll give him something. Why are you complicating things?"

"Sam, I'm not. I'm so proud of how you got them out of that house. I know your mother wouldn't have protected them. Now we need to do the best thing for everyone. We got the first part of the plan, but we didn't bother with the second part."

Sam pulled away from her.

"I need to go."

Mercedes blinked back tears and closed her eyes.

"No! We said this was forever and forever doesn't mean all good stuff. It means bad stuff too."

Sam covered his face with his hands.

"You're right."

Mercedes grabbed his arm.

"We'll just have to keep talking until we figure this out. I don't want Stevie and Stacey to go either; they're in my heart as much as you and Finn are; but I hate that we might be in a position to not take care of them when we can't even take care of ourselves. And we need to think about Stacey's health; the doctors said she was almost fully recovered, but you even said yourself, that her medicine was expensive. How could we afford it?"

"I don't know; we'll find a way. I know there's hospital charity."

"Baby, charity isn't a plan. "

"It's a possibility. Why do you want to break everything apart."

Mercedes shook her head.

"Sam, that's not what I'm doing and you know it. I just want you to see what we would be taking on."

"Yeah, well, all I see is my family getting separated."

Finn reached over and held Sam's hand.

"Babe, we only want what's best for the family. Besides, why are you so sure your parents won't come looking for us?"

Sam was quiet for a long time, so long in fact that Mercedes wondered if Finn made a mistake by asking the question. He sighed and leaned back against the headboard.

"I don't know about my father. Whether he will or won't doesn't matter – I'm not afraid. My mom has other priorities."

Mercedes put her arm around him.

"Like what?"

"Herself. And sometimes Dad."

"How do you mean?"

"When I was in boarding school, my mother had a hard time of it. Things grew worse between her and my Dad and one day when she was out grocery shopping with Stevie and Stacey she left them in the check-out line, walked out of the store and drove off."

Finn's eyes grew wide.

"What?"

"I know it sounds crazy, but that's what happened. My father was out of town working. She was gone for three hours. She said she had to get away from everything. The police were called. My grandparents picked Stevie and Stacey up from the station. It was a big mess. It wasn't until my mother got counseling that they let Stevie and Stacey live with my parents again. I didn't find out about any of this until I came home for good."

Mercedes placed her hand over Sam's and squeezed it.

"What an awful thing for Stevie and Stacey to go through. Now I know what he meant when he said she left them behind."

"I'm surprised he remembered. I was hoping it was something he would've forgotten. They were both so young. I owe it to them to give them a loving home. You and Finn are my heart; our relationship is solid. I want them to see what love looks like. I know Aunt Patty would take good care of them, I just…"

"How about if we let them live with her temporarily and then when we get on our feet and figure things out, we can all be together again?" Mercedes said as she hugged him.

Finn nodded in agreement.

"I like that idea, what do you think Sam?"

"Only if we have a time limit."

"That's fair, Mercedes said, "how about a year?"

Sam thought for a moment then said.

"Let's pray about it."

They held hands and Sam asked God for guidance. Mercedes loved how his faith was growing. After he said amen, Sam gathered Mercedes and Finn into his arms.

"I love you both with everything that I am. Never think for one second that you're not the most important people in my life. Right now, I'm riding on faith that everything will work out. I only want us altogether."

Mercedes held on tight, breathing in their scent, feeling their hearts beating with her own. Sam slowly pulled away from them, giving them each a long, slow kiss before rising from the bed. He reached under the nightstand and dragged out his duffel bag, unzipping the left side pocket. He pulled out three bright colored rings: one was orange, one was yellow, and one was blue. They were made out of hard plastic and a star was engraved on each one.

"I told you both I was getting rings. This is all I could afford; their Lantern Power rings. I think they should fit."

He stumbled over his words as he slipped the rings on their fingers. The orange one was for Mercedes and the blue one was for Finn. For a few moments, they admired the rings.

"Press the tiny button on the left side," Sam said.

They did as he instructed and the rings lit up. Mercedes kissed Sam's cheek.

"I love you."

Finn kissed him as well.

"I love you too, thank you for this.

Sam smiled.

"I chose these rings because like Finn said, we celebrate each other's light," he took a brief pause and said, "Cedes, you're my wife, and Finn, you're my husband and there ain't nobody on God's green earth that's gonna tell me different. You both have me heart and soul. No use trying to get rid of me; I'm yours forever."

That was Sam Evans, once again laying down the law, ruled by the fierce love that he felt for both of them. Mercedes could barely speak for all the emotions that were inside her, but she forged ahead anyway.

"I'm blessed that you and Finn are my husbands. I belong to you both. I'll be the best wife to you that I can be."

Finn kissed Sam and Mercedes on the lips.

"I promise you both that I will give you my all, you have my everything."

And so they were married in that sunny bedroom with prism rainbows reflected on the walls. There was no long, white dress, no father walking her down the aisle to give her away, but Mercedes wouldn't have had it any other way because it was pure love that bound them together in holy matrimony. She was their wife and they were her husbands: it was that simple. Nothing was sweeter than those kisses that came after their declarations of love, sealing their vows to each other forever.

_Love._

_Honor._

_Cherish._

Every touch, every kiss, planted the seeds that would grow into the lasting bond of their marriage.

The three became one.

Mercedes felt a wetness between her thighs. She needed her husbands to make love to her, feel their naked bodies pressed against her, filling her up. She clung to them as they held her in a strong embrace and felt the urgency in their touch, knowing they needed her too. As if reading her mind, Sam said:

"We got you, baby. Let me check on the kids first." He left the bedroom and she and Finn began making out; their heated kisses becoming more passionate with each moment. When Sam returned, he locked the door behind him.

"They fell asleep on the couch. I covered them with a quilt. They'll be ok. Don't worry about them waking up; those two sleep harder than our boy Finn."

"Hey," Finn said pretending to be offended, "I'm not that heavy of a sleeper."

"Babe, I'm saying this as someone who loves you, but you could sleep through Armageddon."

Mercedes laughed.

"Don't worry Finn, we love you anyway."

She sat in the middle of the bed and let Finn and Sam undress her, a ritual they all enjoyed. They pulled off her T-shirt and began kissing her face and neck while they unfastened her bra, setting her breasts free from the lacy confines. Finn unzipped her denim shorts, and put his hand near her heated core, lightly touching her damp panties, teasing her a bit before he and Sam slowly pulled her shorts and panties down her legs, leaving her nude; she looked up at her husbands and spread her legs, revealing her desire to them. Opening her arms, she silently beckoned them to make love to her.

They stroked and caressed her body. The moment reminded her of the day they played Seven Minutes in Heaven and they pleasured her in a dark closet. Finn fondled her heavy breasts; he lowered his head and captured her taut nipples between his lips biting and sucking the large nubs; with each love bite he applied more pressure with his teeth and Mercedes threw her head back and moaned. Then Sam squeezed her ample behind, giving each cheek, a few hard smacks; she felt that "good pain" she often craved – and suddenly her love came down, leaving her breathless. Their touch alone sent a fire through her. Her husbands hadn't even penetrated her and she had a powerful orgasm.

"That's never happened before. I never..."

"You should know by now that we know how to please you," Sam said, with a hint of pride in his voice. "What kind of husbands would we be if we couldn't make our wife come?"

"This time felt different," Mercedes said, "It felt… I don't know, like you reached a new place inside me."

Finn turned her head and gave her a deep kiss, sending a tingle between her legs.

"We made sacred vows. That's why it feels different."

They held her while she calmed down. She felt Sam's erection jutting through his jeans and Finn was equally hard. They each kissed her again and then quickly undressed, sharing heated kisses as their clothes flew off, landing in a heap on the floor. They lay on either side of their precious wife, and worshiped her body, ignoring their own needs for the time being because this was her wedding day and it had to be special for the bride. They nursed at her full breasts, and took turns slipping their big fingers between her plump thighs and finding a slick, wet, heat waiting for them; she raised her hips off the bed, getting closer to bliss as they fingered her in a slow, sweet rhythm.

"So beautiful," Sam murmured as they watched another orgasm rock through her body.

He and Finn tasted her essence on their fingertips, before leaning down and kissing her. Then Finn settled himself between her thighs and shoved his tongue inside her as Sam kissed his way up her body, placing soft kisses on her skin, finally resting on her breasts, squeezing and sucking each one, his hard cock pressed against her hip. Sam once said her breasts were the best pillows in the world, he loved resting his head against them. Between Finn's talented tongue burrowing inside her, sending delicious waves of pleasure through her body, and Sam's mouth and tongue on her huge, jiggling breasts, she came again with a loud cry; she hoped that she didn't wake Stevie and Stacey and was relieved when nobody knocked on the bedroom door.

Now she wanted to return the favor. She reached for their hard cocks and stroked each of them, loving the feel of their hot flesh in her hands, and they moaned at her touch. She alternated between the two and sucked their cocks deep into her throat; she wanted them to cum in her mouth; but they had other plans, and shot their seed all over her stomach and chest and they licked the warm, white cream from her body, giving her another orgasm. Soon, they were hard again and Sam pulled Mercedes onto his lap, impaling her on his cock. Finn pushed himself into her tight anus, gripping her hips.

"I love how we fill you up," he said, kissing her shoulders, "Never forget that we belong to you."

Mercedes could only nod as her husbands moved inside her. It felt wonderful making love as their wife, soul mate and mother of their children; in her short life, she never belonged anywhere, but now in this room, she felt a peace and serene happiness that always eluded her before. Empty birthdays, silent Christmases, and hiding in her room with only her music for comfort. Her life's path lead her to Sam Evans and Finn Hudson, maybe it wasn't the most joyful path, with tragedy, heartache and death, but at the end of the road was something so awesome and great that each painful moment was worth it.

Their thrusts were both gentle and rough. Sam smiled up at her, his green eyes bright with lust.

"He's right, we're filling you up so good, I know you like how we're buried deep inside you, don't you? Keep squeezing me tight, baby… this is how it should be, the three of us joined together like this. I can feel you and Finn, like an electric current shooting through me, I swear I love you both so much, love you forever, you and Finn are my forever…"

Mercedes began to cry "happy tears" as Finn called them. Her heart beat fast and then she realized what else made this moment so great:

"I deserve this. I deserve you and Finn loving me. I deserve a good life. I'm beautiful and worthy and I love you both with my entire being and I love myself. You both made me realize what I had on the inside."

Finn wrapped his arms around her as he thrust himself inside her narrow passage.

"You are worthy. I'm so happy to hear you say it. I knew your self-love was growing, but now I feel it too. I'm proud of you, angel."

"Me too," Sam said, gazing up at her, "I don't know when you've looked more gorgeous. Welcome to the world, Mrs. Jovanson, you've arrived."

At the sound of their joined surname, she laughed and leaned down kissing his thick, soft lips.

"Thank you, Mr. Jovanson."

The trio joined hands when they reached the pinnacle of their orgasm, crying out each other's names as their bodies shook together, and their souls came together as well, binding their hearts and spirits. Mercedes wasn't holding back, she was a free woman and her needs were great. This was her heaven, nirvana, and paradise; they cried with each orgasm, gasping for breath and clinging to one another, never letting go. Then Mercedes felt herself slipping, and she got that final rush before collapsing on Sam's chest, with Finn on top of her. As always, Finn feared that he would crush his lovers, so he quickly shifted so that she was lying on her side, but his cock was still inside her as was Sam's.

"Sweet almighty," Sam said, kissing Mercedes and Finn, "I don't know what y'all did. I think I flat lined for a bit. Shit, did we hurt the babies?"

"Calm down, Samuel, they're fine."

"I got so lost, Cedes and –"

"Shh, it's fine.

Finn kissed Mercedes and Sam, gently caressing their faces.

"When I was in 4th grade I played soccer, I wasn't very good, but I kept trying and then one day I scored two goals in one game. I felt this awesome high, like I could do anything in the world, and in my life nothing came close to that feeling, that is until today when we came together like this. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with the two of you and raise our family."

Mercedes kissed his cheek.

"Sweetheart, I feel the same way. We got a good thing here."

"I know how you feel, Finn," Sam said, reaching over and stroking his face, "The love I feel for you and Cedes, I just can't even describe it."

They all held each other tight, kissing and touching, as they whispered how much they loved each other. After awhile the trio fell into a peaceful silence, their bodies firmly connected. Nobody had the desire to move, but suddenly Sam's phone rang and he picked it up off the nightstand, glancing at the screen, he said:

"It's my mother."

"I'm surprised she hasn't called sooner," Mercedes said.

"Stevie and Stacey aren't going back to that house. Hell will freeze over before that happens." Sam said, getting worked up, as the phone continued to ring.

Mercedes pointed to the angel necklace.

"Well, you've got all the protection you need."

"And you've got us," Finn added.

Sam leaned over giving them each a kiss, and hugged them close as he rubbed their backs three times each. The phone stopped ringing. Mercedes lay her head on his shoulder.

"Call her back. You've got to face this."

Sam nodded and dialed his mother's number, putting it on speakerphone.

"Why did you do that?" Finn asked.

"Because I need all the support I can get."

"Ok, but me and Mercy will be as quiet as we can, your mother won't talk if she knows we're listening."

Mrs. Evans answered the phone right away.

"Sam, you need to come home."

"Mom, that's not going to happen and you know it. I don't trust you to protect Stevie and Stacey from Dad."

"Your father is gone."

Sam looked at Finn and Mercedes and held their hands.

"Where did he go? Is he looking for us?"

"We can be a family now. I can sing you songs again."

Mercedes didn't like how Mrs. Evans sounded; it was as if she were disconnected from reality. Sam must have felt the same way because he said:

"Mom, are you ok? What happened to Dad?"

"Sammy, do you remember the mermaid song?"

"What does that have to do with anything? Why did Dad leave?"

Mrs. Evans kept talking as if Sam never questioned her.

"We'll sing the mermaid song everyday. I want you, Stevie and Stacey to come home right now. Everything is all better."

Mercedes whispered in Sam's ear:

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know."

"Mom, where did Dad go?"

"He went to see Davy. They had a lot to talk about."

Finn grabbed Sam's hand and said in a low voice:

"What is she talking about?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders unable to answer. He stared at the phone then he said:

"Tell me about Davy."

"Sing the mermaid song with me."

So Sam indulged his mother and together they began to sing the mermaid song, and soon Stevie and Stacey were knocking on the bedroom door.

"Sammy, can we come in?" Stacey said through the door, "We hear you singing Mommy's song.

In a hurried frenzy, they scrambled to put their clothes back on and made up the bed. Once they were decent, Finn unlocked the door and let them in; he quietly told them that their mother was on the phone. Their reaction wasn't one that Mercedes expected – they didn't look happy or sad, just confused. Sam stopped singing and looked over at them.

"Stevie and Stacey are here."

"I knew you would take care of them," Mrs. Evans said.

"Hi Mommy," Stacey said as she climbed into Mercedes' lap while Stevie sat next to Finn, leaning against him.

"Hi Sugar, do you and Stevie want to sing with us?"

Stacey eagerly nodded, but Stevie shook his head and stared down at the bed. Mercedes understood his anger and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Sam and Stacey began singing with their mother. The song was short and Mercedes thought the lyrics were beautiful, something about a mermaid, eternal love and a golden sunset; she found herself bobbing her head to the music as they sang. When they were done, a few tears ran down Sam's cheeks.

"I hated it when you stopped singing."

"I know and I'm sorry. But we can start over."

"I need you to tell me where Dad went."

"Daddy left?" Stacey asked.

"Yes, Sugar," Mrs. Evans said, "and now you, Sam and Stevie can come home."

Stevie got off the bed and went to the door.

"I don't want to talk to her. I hate her. She doesn't love us. She didn't even come after us!"

Stacey hopped off of Mercedes' lap and followed him.

"That's not true. Besides we were hiding."

"Why is Stevie yelling?" Mrs. Evans asked.

Mercedes rose from the bed and whispered to Sam:

"We'll handle the kids. Come to the living room if you need us. I love you, Mr. Jovanson."

Sam nodded and kissed her.

"I love you too, Mrs. Jovanson."

Mercedes opened the door and took Stevie and Stacey by the hand and together they went into the living room with Finn following behind them. She knew that she had to calm Stevie down; this experience was breaking him. As she sat down on the couch, she felt light-headed and almost stumbled, but Finn was right there to catch her and helped her sit down. He put his hand to her forehead.

"Mercy, take it easy. Are you ok?"

She smiled up at him.

"I'm fine."

Stevie threw himself onto her lap.

"Please don't get sick."

"Stevie, I'm just tired that's all."

Stacey gently patted him on the back as he cried into Mercedes' lap.

"The angels won't come for a long time."

When he calmed down, Finn suggested that they all help Stacey glue Maggie back together; Mercedes thought it was pointless, but the kids needed a distraction. Stacey pulled the broken doll out of her backpack and the three of the them sat on the floor and began gluing the pieces together. Mercedes watched from the couch, closing her eyes every now and then. Half of the doll's head was destroyed and her arms and legs were broken remains.

"She won't be pretty anymore," Stevie said as he held her arm together while Finn and Stacey applied the glue.

Stacey ran her fingers through the doll's tangled hair.

"Maggie's pretty to me and that's all that matters. She knows all my secrets."

Mercedes smiled at what Stacey said. Despite the circumstances, she enjoyed watching Finn helping the kids. He was so patient and kind, towering over them, as he instructed them on what to glue next, Mercedes felt blessed to have him in her life. The joyous feeling was fleeting because she also wanted to know what was going on with Sam's mother. She sighed and said a little prayer, hoping they could get through whatever came next. Finn reached over and squeezed her knee.

"Angel, can I get you something?"

"No, I'm fine."

He stared at her for a moment and then he leaned over and kissed her.

"We'll get through this you know."

Once they finished gluing the doll together they sat back and inspected their work. Maggie looked scary with a crack running down the center of her face, but Stacey was pleased with how she turned out.

"See, her eyes are shining."

And it was true. The doll's dark eyes shined in the sunlight like black marbles. Finn got off the floor and sat next to Mercedes on the couch, putting his arm around her.

"Do you think we should check on Sam?"

She laid her head on his shoulder.

"He'll come out if he needs us."

"I'm hungry," Stevie said, folding his arms and looking up at them, "it's almost lunch time."

"Me too," Stacey said.

"Why don't you guys help yourself to the leftover sandwiches from yesterday?" Mercedes said.

Stacey grabbed Stevie's hand and they trotted off to the kitchen, leaving Maggie to dry in the afternoon sun. Mercedes snuggled against Finn, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Finn, what do you think is wrong with his mother?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's having a breakdown."

"Do you think we did the right thing?"

"Yes."

He held her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

"Mercy, whatever happens, we'll protect you and our children. Don't worry."

"I know you will, but I don't think any of us realized what we were are taking on."

Finn sighed.

"Yeah I know."

Mercedes turned and looked up at him, touching his face with her small hands, she traced the stubble on his cheek.

"I just want everything to work out."

"It will."

A few moments later, Sam came out of the bedroom.

"Something is wrong with my mother. I have to go check on her."

Mercedes leaned forward as Finn massaged her shoulders.

"Are you sure it's safe?"

"Yes. My father is gone."

"So? She could be lying."

"Cedes, something ain't right."

"Well, you can't go alone, take Finn with you."

"No, I want Finn to stay here with you. You look tired."

"I'll be fine."

"Cedes, there's no way we're leaving you here by yourself."

"Sam's right," Finn said, "Especially in your condition."

"Guys, I'm not helpless and besides –"

The sound of the doorbell interrupted her.

"Who could that be?"

Finn held her hand.

"Stay calm. It's probably a Jehovah's Witness or something."

"Let's not answer it."

"We should at least see who it is," Sam said and left the living room.

Mercedes rose from the couch.

"Let's check on the kids. They're awfully quiet."

Finn laughed and put his arm around her.

"You know how Stevie eats. He's too busy pigging out to talk."

Mercedes had to agree with him. Stevie was going through a major growth spurt and eating everything in sight. They found them in the kitchen munching on sandwiches and chips. Stacey was pouring them each a glass of water when Mercedes and Finn walked in and sat down to the table. Stevie looked up from his sandwich and smirked.

"I don't need you to check on me."

Mercedes kissed his forehead.

"Hush now, and finish your lunch."

The kitchen door swung open and Sam walked in with Dylan, who was clad in a long sleeved green T-shirt with an exploding space ship on front and jeans with holes in the knees, he was as pale as ever, but Mercedes thought it suited him for some reason.

"Look who I found at the door," Sam said and sat next to Mercedes.

Dylan gave everyone a sheepish smile, mumbling hello, before taking a seat next to Stacey, who smiled at him.

"Do you want a sandwich? We've got a few peanut butter and jelly and some chicken salad ones left."

Dylan shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"No thanks, maybe later," he turned his attention to the others, "So are you guys alright? I was kinda worried so…"

Mercedes reached over and patted his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming by. That was really sweet of you. We're doing ok. We just need to figure stuff out."

Stevie jumped up and threw away his napkin in the trash. Then he gulped down the rest of the water.

"Can me and Stacey go play in the living room?"

"But I'm not finished eating yet," Stacey said as she took another bite of her sandwich.

Mercedes wanted to speak with her husbands and Dylan alone so she said:

"Just this once, I'll let you eat in the living room, but we won't make it a habit."

"Ok, Mercy. I'll be careful and won't make a mess."

Stacey gathered up her sandwich and glass of water and followed Stevie out of the kitchen.

Dylan ran his hands through his spiked black hair and sighed.

"Do you guys need me to do anything?"

Finn got up from the table and opened the fridge, pulling out a few bottles of iced tea.

"Go with Sam to check on his mother. She's acting weird."

"Won't that be dangerous with his Dad and all."

"She said he was gone. I want to stay here with Mercy; she's feeling a little tired."

Instead of protesting, Mercedes remained silent. When you had two people who loved her as much as Sam and Finn did, they would always protect her, regardless if she felt she needed it or not. Sam held her hand as he spoke to Dylan.

"It would be big help if you came with me. I don't know what's going on with my mom. I'm taking her word for it that my Dad is gone for good. She wants us to come home. That's not going to happen."

Dylan nodded.

"I get it. Do you need to go now?"

"Yes, but could you give us a few minutes?"

"Sure, I'll wait in the living room."

After Dylan left, Sam pulled Finn and Mercedes into his arms.

"Listen you two, I want you to focus on being positive and do your best not to worry. Pray if you feel scared, you know it helps. Remember that I love you both," he said, kissing them each on the lips. We didn't get married for nothing."

Finn and Sam placed their hands on her growing belly and she did the same when suddenly all of their wedding rings lit up.

"Sam, I thought you had to push the button," Mercedes said, staring down at the glowing rings.

Sam squinted as he inspected them.

"Yeah I did too."

"So how did –"

"The babies are sharing their light," Finn said.

"Or maybe we just got defective rings, Babe, who knows?" Sam said, gently rubbing her belly, "Anyway, I'll take any sign that gives me hope."

They all hugged once more and when they broke the embrace; Mercedes hated the empty feeling that was left. As if sensing her sadness, Finn put his arm around her.

"Angel, I'll make you some tea, and maybe we can teach some new songs to Stevie and Stacey."

"That sounds good Finn." She loved his strong arm around her, he was her rock, and he would make sure she was taken care of.

Sam kissed their cheeks.

"Everything will be fine. I swear I'll be back soon, Now you relax and take it easy, alright, Cedes? We want you to stay calm."

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll be ok. Finn and I will be praying for you." A few tears ran down her cheeks, and Sam wiped them away with his callused hands.

"Baby, I wouldn't go if I thought I was in danger."

Mercedes sniffed.

"I know."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't know."

And she didn't. She only wished that she could keep him there with her and Finn.

Sam kissed her again.

"Please have faith, that's all I'm asking."

"I will, don't worry."

Finn hugged her to his side.

"Babe, I'll help her along. You go handle your mother."

Sam gave him one last kiss.

"I'm really liking this marriage thing."

Finn nodded.

"Yeah, me too."

Mercedes put on a brave smile for her husbands, blinking away the fresh tears in her eyes before they fell.

* * *

**_TWISTED LOVE_**

Dylan was quiet as he and Sam drove to the Evans' house. Sam liked that Dylan left him alone with his thoughts. He looked down at his yellow ring and smiled. At least he got a wife and husband that day. That was a blessing he was grateful for. He carried that good feeling in his heart despite the tear-filled good-bye at the apartment. Stevie and Stacey didn't want him to go either. He reassured them that he would be back by dinnertime and they could help him cook whatever they wanted. Then Stevie and Stacey began arguing about what to have for dinner and Mercedes intervened saying they should flip a coin and stop bickering; Sam was glad for the argument because it gave them all a much-needed distraction.

He touched the ring, tracing his finger over the star; one day when he had the money he would buy Mercedes and Finn something more worthy of their marriage. They passed by McKinley and Sam signed. Senior year. Gossip. Bullies. Karofsky. He, Finn and Mercedes would have to deal with it all in September. How could they do it? Santana warned them about what could happen since they were being open with their relationship. He wasn't ashamed of who he loved and chose to spend his life with, but now with Cedes being pregnant; he knew he would be even more protective of her at school. Dylan glanced over at him.

"I'm almost finished my book."

"Really, dude that's awesome."

"Yeah, thanks for your help."

Sam clucked his tongue.

"Aw, man, it was nothing. Besides you did most of the work."

Dylan smiled.

"No, you did a lot. I'm going to self-publish it and sell it on Amazon. I'll have to market the hell out of it."

"You could start with Twitter and Facebook," Sam said, then he changed the subject, "Thanks for doing this. You know, coming with me today."

Dylan stopped at a red light.

"No problem. You know the three of you seem different. Did you get engaged or something?"

Sam blushed.

"Um, no, we actually got married. In our own way. It's hard to explain but Finn and Mercedes are my husband and wife."

Dylan shrugged as he turned onto the next street.

"There's nothing to explain. You know what's in your heart and that's that. I get it. This is what works for you."

Sam had forgotten how unfazed Dylan was about things. He just accepted people and that was all. Sam wondered if it had to do with his hippie parents that he never saw.

"Yeah, this is what works for us," Sam said, "Now we just have to see how others will accept us."

"Honestly, you're gonna get shit from people. Especially in this town, but you're not the type to back down, so I think you'll be ok, you know what I mean? Oh, and by the way, I like the rings, they're cool."

"Thanks."

They arrived at the house and Sam saw his father's truck in the driveway.

"I thought you said your father was gone," Dylan said as he cut off the engine.

"That's what my mom said."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No, I'm going inside. I gotta finish this. Whatever this is."

They unbuckled their seatbelts and exited the car; as they walked up the stone path leading to the front door, Sam's heart raced, though he wasn't sure why. He turned the doorknob, and he was surprised to find that the door was unlocked, he opened it and they went inside. The house was dark except for the sunlight peeking through the closed blinds, casting bars of light onto the bare white walls and dusty hardwood floors. The room was freezing cold. The air smelled like cigarette smoke.

His mother was sitting on the couch, staring at a video of Sam singing Amazing Grace at their old church in Tennessee. He wore a navy blue suit, his thick glasses slipped down his nose as he strummed away on the guitar. She looked over at Sam and smiled, her eyes were glazed over as if she had been drinking. She wore his father's old blue flannel shirt and a white skirt, her feet were bare, and Sam noticed her left foot had fresh scratches on it, a thin, red line of blood had dried on her skin. An open bible was on her lap. She pointed to the TV screen.

"I was so proud of you that day."

"Mom..."

"Don't look so surprised Sammy," she nodded toward Dylan and said "Who are you?"

"This is Dylan. We work together," Sam explained.

"That's nice. Where are Stevie and Stacey?"

"Mom, where's Dad?"

"I told you he's gone."

"Then why is his truck in the driveway?"

Instead of answering him, she patted a place beside her on the couch.

"Come sit and talk to me."

Sam sat next to her on the couch while Dylan took a seat in the recliner. She started watching the video again.

"Remember that? You were so little and cute. Singing your heart out."

"Dad smashed my guitar that day."

His mother looked down at her hands.

"You've got too many scars and so do I," she said gazed up at him, "Why didn't you bring your girlfriend and boyfriend? Did you break up?"

"We're still together. Now what the hell is going on?"

"You know, I wasn't always your mother. I was pretty once. I had long blonde hair, and a tiny waist. When I smiled people said I should be on a magazine cover or in the movies. That's how it was for me, so pretty that I thought nothing could touch me, like I had this invisible shield."

Mrs. Evans had this far off look in her eyes as she re-lived her past life. Sam knew his mother had been a head turner in her day. Once Aunty Patty showed him his mother's junior prom picture and she was indeed beautiful in her royal blue satin dress, her hair piled on top of her head in lots of blonde curls. It was a far cry of from the woman sitting before him on the couch, an emaciated shell of her former self.

"Mama, I know who you used to be."

She stared at him.

"You called me Mama. You haven't done that since you were just a little boy watching Sesame Street and eating graham crackers, why'd you stop?"

"Because it didn't feel right anymore. Do you even care where Stevie and Stacey are?"

"I know they're safe with you. I know you'll bring them back to me and we can be a family again."

"Like hell I will. Look, I'm sick of this bullshit. You're acting weird, why can't you be straight with me?"

"What's that glowing ring on your finger?"

"My wedding ring."

Mrs. Evans laughed and closed the bible on her lap, setting it on the table in front of her. Her reaction angered Sam.

"Why are you laughing. This isn't a joke."

"You just told me a plastic toy ring that lights up is your wedding ring. What do you expect?" Then her smile faded as she studied her son's face, "My word, you're serious? Do Finn and Mercedes have one too?"

"Of course."

Applause could be heard on the TV. Sam looked at his 12 year-old self, standing in front of a church filled with people as they all clapped for his performance. It was surreal and unsettling for him, staring at that innocent child and knowing the hell he went through.

"Turn it off!"

"But they love you, Sammy, everyone loved you."

Sam grabbed the remote from her hand and turned off the TV.

"I'm leaving. Come on, Dylan." He got up from the couch and headed for the door.

Mrs. Evans walked over to him and placed her hand on his arm for a second and then pulled away.

"When I took you home from the hospital they told me you might die; that I was a fool to even think you would live past a year old. I didn't believe them. I watched over you, even slept by your crib…"

Sam opened the door.

"I don't need this. I'm grateful that you gave me life and watched over me when you did, but I'll be damned if you think that erases all the shit you sat by and passively watched me go through. I just can't justify it in my mind. Maybe when I'm older and wiser I'll be a better man and forgive you, but I'm not there yet. Stevie and Stacey deserve to be loved and protected and I'm going to make sure that happens. Now, I don't know where the hell Dad is, and I don't care. I'm leaving."

She hung her head.

"Sometimes things look different when you don't have all the pieces to put together."

"So? Whatever it is I don't know doesn't change the fact that I won't let Stevie and Stacey be tortured the way I was."

"I'm not saying it will change the present, but it's a story I need to tell. Please."

Sam closed the door and sat down again.

"I'm listening."

"Thank you."

She hugged him and Sam smelled his father's cologne; when he was a kid, a whiff of that cologne always warned him that Cain Evans was nearby, allowing him to hide if he could. The scent was off-putting and bold, reminding one of old men flirting with underage girls online, the spicy citrus odor repulsed Sam and he pushed her away. Saddened by her son's rejection, but not defeated, she ran her hands through her hair and said:

"When I was in high school, my parents said I needed to use my brains instead of my looks all the time. I studied real hard in school and got good grades. And as my grandma would say, "gentlemen callers" would be lined up outside our front door just to see me. Since Patty ran off with Leroy, she was dead to my parents. I became the good daughter. The one they could show off at church functions and family parties. Patty was the fat one, the loud one. I was the smart and pretty one. They pinned their hopes on me. I had the world in the palm of my hand until I met Cain Evans on my 16th birthday. My family threw a party for me in the park and just as I was blowing out the candles on my cake, I looked up and saw this tall, good-looking boy leaning against a tree and I couldn't take my eyes off him. I had never seen him before and I found out his family had just moved to Bethel Rock and– "

Sam held up his hand; he had heard enough.

"I already know this story. I don't want to hear anymore. You marry Dad and lived **_not_** so happily ever after."

"No Sam, you only know the beginning and end, you don't know what's in between."

Sam gripped the arm of the couch and glared at his mother.

"Then tell me that part."

Mrs. Evans kneeled down and pulled out a blue cigar box from underneath the coffee table. She usually kept coupons in it, so Sam was confused about where all of this was going.

"What are you doing?"

"Hold on."

She opened the box and pulled out all the coupons. At the very bottom there was a folded up faded blue piece of paper and some newspaper clippings. She handed them to Sam.

"Here's what's in-between."

Sam unfolded the blue paper first. It was a flyer for an outdoor concert in Bethel Rock for a group called Jacob's Ladder, a picture of his teenaged mother and father along with another guy who looked a lot like his father was on the flyer too. The three teenagers were leaning against a tree, his mother wore a simple yellow sundress and was barefoot while his father and the other guy wore jeans and t-shirts.

"You and Dad were in a singing group in high school?"

"Yes. Show your friend too."

Sam almost forgot that Dylan was there, but then again Dylan had a way of blending into the background. He absently handed the flyer to him. Dylan glanced at it, nodding his head in approval, and handed it back to Sam.

"That's interesting."

"So who's the other guy in the group?" Sam asked as he re-folded the flyer.

"Your father's cousin, Davy Evans."

Sam's attention perked up at the mention of Davy. He looked down at the newspaper clippings, and there were various articles about the group's performances around Bethel Rock and other nearby towns. His mother looked stunning in every black and white photo. According to the articles, she often sang the lead.

"Before Daddy and Mama passed away, they had a Jacob's Ladder scrapbook. I don't know what happened to it."

"Tell me about Davy."

Mrs. Evans stared down at the flyer for a moment, "He was my boyfriend."

"What? I thought you and Dad… I don't get it."

"You know I met your father on my 16th birthday, what you don't know is that he wasn't interested in me at all. Just like I had a lot of guys chasing me; he had a lot of girls chasing him, and I was small potatoes compared to some of the girls he ended up with. I was voted the Prettiest Girl at Bethel Rock High, but he paid me no mind until his cousin Davy asked me out and our relationship began. He and Davy were raised together. Davy's parents were killed in a boating accident, and Cain's parents became his guardians. So they were more like brothers, the same age too, only 3 months apart. The two got along but Cain was jealous of his cousin; his parents favored Davy, I don't think they meant to; it's just that Davy had a sweet nature and was good-hearted, and Cain could be difficult and willful, and his parents punished him a lot. So whatever Davy had, Cain liked to take it. Their relationship was so strange. Cain loved Davy, and in a way, looked up to him, yet his love was twisted with jealousy. Cain was fine with Davy being number 2, but if he became number one, all hell broke loose. Davy was just as handsome as Cain but there was something about Cain that drew me to him. I don't know what it was… anyway, despite my feelings for Cain, I dated Davy and we fell in love. Not too long after that, he and Cain both started a singing group and asked me to join because they heard me sing in church. At first I didn't want to do it but Davy changed my mind."

"How?" Sam asked.

"He gave me his class ring and said God spoke to him in a dream and said this group should happen. I said yes because who could argue with God? We sang original songs and covers - mostly folk and inspirational stuff. Anyway, as much as I loved Davy, I had feelings for Cain. Whenever Cain and I were alone together, he flirted with me and I responded to it, I know I should've ignored him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Well, one day, while we were practicing in our basement, Davy went upstairs to make a phone call, and while he was gone, Cain told me that I was too pretty for my own good, and he kissed me. After that, everything changed. I started seeing Cain behind Davy's back."

Sam narrowed his eyes.

"I guess you didn't love Davy after all."

"You're wrong. I did love him, but I loved Cain too or thought I did; I was only 16, you do stupid stuff when you're young; you don't think, you just feel," she paused then said, "Our group, Jacob's Ladder, became a hit, and we booked gigs everywhere. On stage, the three of us were musical soul mates. Off stage, there was discordance because my heart was split and I took my frustration out on them. I think in the beginning, Cain relished in the fact he had taken someone from 'Golden Boy Davy' – that's what he called his cousin behind his back, but Cain had feelings for me too, and he wanted me to choose. I refused. I liked that the two finest boys in Bethel Rock were mine, I was in a popular singing group, and all the girls envied me. I wasn't about to give that up. I'm ashamed to admit that those things were important to me."

"So what happened?"

"My conscience started bothering me. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Davy only saw the good in me, he ignored the rest. He gave me small gifts like a tin whistle from a Cracker Jacks box or he would write me love poems and leave them in my locker. In his eyes, I was perfect, yet I felt unworthy of his love."

Sam stared at his mother with disgust and saw flashes of Quinn.

"Of course you did. You were cheating on him with Dad. You never care about who you hurt."

Mrs. Evans looked down at the newspaper clippings in her lap; her fingers grazed over a picture of her 16-year old self.

"You're not making this easy."

"You wanted me to hear your story. So tell it."

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and said:

"With his share of our singing money, Davy started giving me nicer gifts, like jewelry, candy, flowers. Then one evening, we went to the carnival, and while we rode the Ferris wheel, he gave me a diamond ring and asked me to marry him. I loved how that ring twinkled on my finger. The diamond was so tiny that you could barely see it, but it was the most precious gift I ever got. He had this vision of me being the perfect wife and mother and he wanted us to get married after high school and become missionaries in the Philippines. I told him I would think about it and I hid the ring. We kept the proposal a secret because we didn't want anyone to interfere with unwanted opinions. Then he wrote the Mermaid Song for me to convince me to say yes."

Sam jerked his head in surprise.

"Wait, you mean the song you used to sing to us? It was written for you? How come you never told us?"

Mrs. Evans put everything back into the cigar box and set it on the table.

"I wanted to keep that part inside of me because it hurt too much. The first time he sang the Mermaid Song to me it was at a concert in the Bethel Rock town square. We had just finished an encore and then Davy said he had a surprise for me and he began singing this gorgeous song that I never heard before accapella. His voice was… I can't describe it, but it was so beautiful, that I forgot the audience, the stage, everything. The Mermaid Song was his love letter to me, every note, every lyric, he claimed me as his own and all I could see was Davy. Nobody else mattered. Cain was livid. He just stood there and watched Davy pour his heart out to me in front of hundreds of people, and it pissed him off because Davy had won. He knew he had won and in my eyes there was no contest between the two. Well, later that night, when I met Cain at our secret meeting spot on the dock at Friendship Lake, I broke it off with him. I told him that I chose Davy. He wanted to know why and like an idiot, I showed him the ring and said I was going to say yes to Davy's proposal. Cain lost his temper and started yelling about how he loved me, he grabbed me and…"

Mrs. Evans stopped speaking for a moment then she hugged herself as if to keep warm against a cold wind; she closed her eyes before continuing.

"He kissed me, and I felt a spark, that reaction to human touch, but my heart was with Davy, and all the sparks in the world couldn't compare to what we had. Cain's love was like lighting matches, it quickly burned out until you lit another one; he gave bits and pieces of himself, never his whole heart. He always held me as if he could let go at any moment. Davy's love was like a candle, sturdy and slow burning. When I pulled away from Cain, Davy was standing there shining a flashlight on our faces. He had followed Cain because he wanted to know where he was always sneaking off to late at night. The look on his face when he saw us… it was awful. I can't forget it. His eyes… they were just… so hurt… you know? Like watching a wounded animal die. I broke his heart. My selfishness and ego ruined him."

She got up from the couch and opened the blinds, flooding the dark living room with light; she gazed out into the street watching the neighborhood kids zip past on their bikes and scooters. Sam wasn't sure what to do as his mother zoned out, re-living the night she broke a young man's heart. He glanced at Dylan, who sat in the recliner, studying his mother. He broke the silence.

"Mrs. Evans?"

She jumped at the sound of Dylan's voice; she tore her eyes away from the window and looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Is that the end?"

Mrs. Evans shook her head and sat back down on the couch next to Sam.

"I wish it was. Here's the rest of the in-between," she said as she touched Sam's cheek with her cold hands, "Sharing your demons is never fun, there was a long pause and then she continued: "Davy wasn't a violent person but things changed in that moment. He threw down the flashlight and lunged toward Cain, screaming that he was tired of how he always took what belonged to him. The two fell off of the dock into the lake below. They fought in the water. Cain was the stronger of the two. Suddenly they both went underwater and everything was still. I picked up the flashlight and shined it into the lake. I yelled at them to come up to the surface and stop fighting each other. When they re-surfaced, Davy was unconscious. Cain swam to the ladder attached to the dock and pulled Davy with him as he climbed it. As soon as he laid Davy on the wooden planks, I fell to my knees and pressed my ear to his chest, trying to hear his heartbeat. There was nothing. Cain pushed me aside and did CPR. I held Davy's limp, wet hand in mine and prayed he would wake up. I could only see his hurt eyes when he caught Cain and me together. I asked God to forgive me and spare Davy or just take me instead. Cain kept pumping his chest and doing mouth to mouth. A park ranger, who was patrolling the area, heard all of the commotion and came over to us, he called for help on his CB. When the paramedics came, Davy was already dead."

Sam reached for his mother's hand and held it.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. If I hadn't been so fickle and careless, he would be alive today. One thing that always bothered me is that I didn't know what happened underwater. His death was ruled a drowning, but I always thought that, well I suspected that Cain killed him."

"Did he?"

She nodded.

"Yes. He hit him too hard and his anger got the best of him. It was an accident. He admitted it to me the first year we were married."

"How could you marry him a man like Dad?"

"I was pregnant with you."

Sam stayed silent, not knowing what to say. His mother kept talking:

"On the night you were conceived, both of us were grieving; we shared the blame for Davy's death. I was a mess and so was he. I thought I could change him. He became my purpose. It all backfired because he only grew more angry and mean. I took it because I deserved it; I was punishing myself for Davy. Then I was dependent on Cain and it just got harder to leave. I gave up. Please understand."

Sam moved away from her, pulling his hand from her firm grip.

"You tried to change him and it didn't work. What's there to understand?"

"Understand that you came into this world with two damaged people who lost their way. You reminded him of Davy and that was hard for him."

"I don't care what was hard for him or you. I'm his son and he was abusive. There's no excuse. You're defending a man who had so much rage that he killed someone who was like a brother to him, and beat me for simply being alive."

"Well, now we can move forward. He's gone and he's never coming back."

Sam wasn't convinced.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am."

Suddenly Dylan's cell phone rang. He looked at the number.

"Sam, I need to go outside and take this call. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Dylan."

"I'll be back in 5 minutes."

"Alright."

Dylan hesitated at the door, looking over his shoulder he said:

"Give a shout if you need me. I'll be on the porch."

"Sure, thing."

After Dylan left, his mother sat closer to him.

"Your friend is strange."

Sam didn't respond. His head ached so bad that he felt nauseous. His mother's story was too much to bear. He decided to go into the half bathroom at the bottom of the stairs and get a couple of aspirin out of the medicine cabinet and use the toilet. He rubbed his temples and got up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Sam wait, I haven't cleaned –"

Before she could say anything else, he opened the bathroom door and found his father's lifeless body on the blue tiled floor; his gray eyes were open. The left side of his face was bloody and caved in as if someone had beaten him with a hammer. The white T-shirt he wore was covered in blood. Sam couldn't breathe; he collapsed to the floor.

"Mama!"

Mrs. Evans rushed to his side.

"There, there, Sammy, I was hoping you wouldn't see that. I said I took care of it."

Her voice was calm and serene as if she were speaking about a minor inconvenience like a stain in the carpet or a broken dish.

"We have our whole lives ahead of us."

Sam shook in her arms, unable to speak… _what had she done?_

She kissed the top of his head.

"Everything will be better now. It was the only way. Just keep calling me Mama."

Sam freed himself from her grasp and pushed her away.

"Why did you do this?"

"An eye for an eye."

"I never wanted –"

"Son, you wanted this. Don't think I've forgotten."

"You told me it wasn't the way."

"At the time it wasn't, but now it is. You were just a boy."

Sam thought of that awful night when primal instinct kicked in and his need to survive was all that mattered, he saw the fear in his father's eyes. It was more than fear of death; it was something else. He gripped the stair railing to keep his balance.

"I had the knife to his throat. I'm just like him. I thought I wasn't. I thought I was different but I got him inside me. I'm not like Davy. I'm my father. That's why he hated me. You're sick all of this is so sick."

"I wanted to make you happy, don't you see?" Mrs. Evans said as she rose from the floor and stood beside him, "This was coming. Now was the time. You're wrong. You're not like him. Please stop thinking that."

"When I started praying last night, that broke him. My calling on the Lord… it broke him. Dad saw that I was the change he couldn't become. That's what did it. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not like him because I changed or the love in my heart crowded out the bad stuff. I don't know. But what you did – Mom, what you did is irreversible, do you even realize –"

"I realize everything. After the first blow it got easier. He can't take anything from us anymore. He took my spirit, my will… All those times you said I didn't protect you, well now I have, why can't you be a good son and thank me?"

Sam shook his head; his mother's face grew blurry through his tears.

"Now we're back to you. It's always about you isn't it? It was about you with Davy and now it's about you with your family? This was your revenge. He stole your chance at a perfect life and it caught up to you. You both deserved each other, feeding off each other's ugliness. And what about Stevie and Stacey? How will they get through this?"

"They don't have to know. We can say it was an accident."

"We won't be saying anything. I'm not helping you lie to your own children. I'm turning you in. What kind of mother could you be to them now? You need help."

"I don't need help. I need your support."

"I can't support this."

Just then Dylan came back inside. He looked at Sam and his mother.

"Are you guys ok?"

"Dylan, go outside and call 911," Sam said.

"What? Why?"

"My father was murdered."

Dylan's eyes grew wide. He opened his mouth to speak when Mrs. Evans lunged forward and pushed him to the floor.

"Give it to me," she said trying to pry the phone out of his hands. Sam yanked his mother off of him and held her as she struggled to break free.

"Get out of here, go call the cops!" Sam shouted.

Dylan ran out of the house.

"I only wanted what was best for this family," she said as she fought to free herself from Sam's arms.

"This is how it ends," Sam said.

"No, this is the beginning for a new life."

Sam didn't respond; he held her until she became limp in his arms. She was tired of fighting and so was he. His grip became a hug and they held each other.

"I love you, Mama" he said.

"I love you too."

Sam stroked her head and cried as he held her. Waiting for the inevitable end to happen. She gave him life and kept him alive, and he was grateful for it. He remembered pieces of her, the pretty blonde woman singing in the back yard as she hung the damp laundry on the clothesline, and he was her golden boy running beneath the white sheets blowing in the wind, playing hide and seek with imaginary friends. And she was his Mama, singing him songs of mermaids. That's the part of her he kept in his heart; it was the only part that didn't hurt.

**ooo**

Mercedes mixed the batter for a Snicker Doodle cake while Stevie and Stacey buttered and floured the cake pans. They needed a distraction with Sam gone.

"You guys are going to love this cake."

Stacey looked up at her and smiled. Her face smudged with flour.

"Even more than Sammy's strawberry amaretto cake?"

Mercedes laughed and turned off the mixer.

"Hmmm, maybe not that much, but it's a really good cake. You two did a good job with the cake pans."

"Thanks," Stevie said, "Do we put it in the oven now?"

"Yes, that's the plan."

"Can we lick the bowl after you pour out the batter?"

"Of course."

Once she poured the batter into the pans and set them in the oven, she handed over the bowl to Stevie and Stacey who happily ate what was left behind of the thick, yellow batter speckled with cinnamon.

"This is yummy," Stacey said as she licked her fingers.

Mercedes began washing the dirty dishes in the sink. Finn walked into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his eyes; he had just woken up from his nap.

"Hey, there Sleepy Head," Mercedes said as he kissed her cheek, "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Pretty good. What are you all up to?"

"We made a Snicker Doodle cake," Stacey said, "Wanna taste the batter? It's good." She pushed the bowl in his direction. Finn sat down to the table and scrapped the side of the bowl with his finger. He quickly licked finger and smiled in agreement.

"That is good."

While he chatted with Stevie and Stacey, Mercedes watched the stove's digital clock. Sam had been gone for over two hours. She finished the dishes and was about to sweep the floor when Finn stood up and took the broom from her.

"I'll do that."

Mercedes handed him the broom and plopped down in the chair. The kitchen was filled with the sweet aroma of baking cake. After they were finished eating what was left in the mixing bowl, she told Stevie and Stacey to wash it out. They did as she asked and then they went to build a pillow fort in the bedroom. Mercedes was grateful that the kids could amuse themselves for a while; as much as he loved them, she needed a break from their boundless energy. After Finn swept the floor, he made her a cup of tea and sat it in front of her.

"Here sip on this, it will calm you down."

"I am calm," Mercedes said, wrapping her hands around the warm mug.

"Mercy, I know you. You keep biting your lip."

"He's been gone an awful long time. Finn, do you think something happened?"

He put the broom in the pantry.

"What do you think the kids want for dinner? We'll have to cook something since the sandwiches are gone."

Mercedes frowned.

"I don't want to talk about dinner. Don't change the subject."

Finn sat down next to her.

"We promised him we would stay positive and that's what I'm doing, despite – " he stopped speaking and sighed, "Look, Dylan is with him; he'll be ok."

"Despite what?"

"Mercy, stop it, let's just focus on something else."

"I don't want to focus on anything else. I want him here. Now, what were you going to say? You're ignoring your intuition, aren't you?"

"Mercy, please, I –"

The lights on their rings began to flicker. Mercedes touched her ring as well as Finn's.

"They need new batteries."

"No, they don't."

Mercedes looked away from him; she knew what he meant.

"Just be straight with me."

Finn grabbed her hands as the lights flickered on and off, on and off...

"We promised Sam we'd stay positive."

"Tell me what you feel. I know you feel something, just tell me, please."

Finn hugged her close.

"When our husband gets home, we'll eat Snicker Doodle wedding cake, and then we'll dance in the living room in our pajamas."

Mercedes let him soothe her with his dream. Yes, they would dance and eat cake and everything would be beautiful, the way she needed it to be... but the lights continued to flicker and it was hard to ignore them.

Suddenly, Finn's phone rang.

"It's Sam," he said.

"Thank God."

Finn nodded and answered the phone.

"Sam, babe, where the hell are you? Both of us are worried sick, wait, honey, slow down, what did you say?"

Mercedes knew it was death by Finn's expression. Her heart pounded.

"Finn?"

He looked at her, his hazel eyes shiny with tears.

"Mercy, baby, his father is dead."

Mercedes clutched the edge of the table, not knowing what to say. A few moments later, Stevie and Stacey came running into the kitchen, laughing.

"You guys should come see our fort. It's really big." Stacey said, "Even Finn could fit inside."

"Yeah," Stevie said, nodding, "Can we sleep inside it tonight? I bet you I won't have bad dreams."

Mercedes looked at their innocent faces; and wondered what they did to deserve all of this. She couldn't wrap her head around it. She reached for the children and pulled them into her arms, as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Mercy?" Stevie said, "What's wrong? Are the babies hurting you?"

"We can rub your belly," Stacey said, "Will that help?"

She held them tighter and continued to sob.

* * *

**END NOTES:** I hope everything made sense and thanks for reading!


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